Act II Synthesis
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Act II Synthesis
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Blood and Snow
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The residents of Ponyville are in the process of repairing the damage caused by the dragon, but a letter from the Crystal Empire has Novis, Twilight, Nyx, Spike, and Rarity on the fastest train to the kingdom.
Celestia and Luna are helping Shining Armor tend to Princess Cadence who, after long months of waiting, has finally given birth. Twilight and Nyx are both excited by the news, while Novis has finally put his past behind him and is now friends with the Princess of Friendship.
But as their train makes it's way to the Empire, it is soon clear that they are not alone. A presence is among them, and soon it plans will wreak havoc upon our unsuspecting heroes.
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Coming January 2017
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A rough uncolored version of the story's new cover
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*unholy screeching* YOU DARE BESTOW THIS APON ME AT 11:52PM
January 2017
that is along time to wait
let me guss it is because school is startting up soon and you don't know when you will be able to work on the story or you have a new story idle and it might be taking more time then for MLP: Emerald Fires.
7498794 What?
7498807 All of those reasons, but I DO already know what the next part will be about. The main reason however is because that I want to get at least 3 or 4 chapters written before the Hiatus is over, so when I come back to it, it will be releasing one chapter each week for a month.
7498794 Sides, I've already written over a thousand words for chapter 13.
7498807 Sides, I've already written over a thousand words for chapter 13.
7498794 What do you think of the synthesis?
7498807 What do you think of the synthesis?
7498843
7498827
7498820
I understand and I will wait for the day the next chapter will be out and are you thinkiing of adding chemistry to the story or something?
7498884 Chemistry?
Oy. Right off the bat in the description, you waste no time providing a hook for the reader!
7515076 Oh, thank you!
7515083
If you want, I could sick one of my editors on your story to stress-test it.
He'd find any problems at all, trust me. I've got a couple guys on my team who are wicked talented at spotting anything and everything potentially troublesome.
7515150 Please do!
7515150 Also please give the story a thumbs up if you like.
7498794 And yes, I DARE.
7515150 When would he get in touch with me?
7515212
I posted a link in our Discord server for him to see. We'll see if he's inclined to read the story. If he is, I'd expect him to finish the story relatively quickly. I may be a VERY slow reader, but two guys on my team are like lightning.
7515223 Cool. And YAY!!! Your the 100th commenter!
7515212
Now, more or less.
Greetings.
7515232 Hello sir. How are you?
7515236
Quite well, thank you. I'll get in touch with private messages when I've had time to go through the first few chapters and have some feedback.
7515270 Sound good. Sounds reasonable. Thank you.
This looks like a nice fanfic, but there are some typos here and there, and especially, references and fac-similes to our real world that seem rather out of place. For example, there isn't supposed to be Cherokee indians in Equestria's world, or AJ saying "God" when she could say "Gosh" or "Celestia". It tends to break the immersion.
7515706 There are Indian buffalo in the show, but I know where you are coming from. I never said it WAS a Cherokee Indian, I just used that tribe to describe what the pony statue looked like. Also, this is an alternate universe to both the show AND Past Sins, so vocal slang is different in this world. When the term "Oh my God" is used, it is usually referring to Celestia herself(I will point out however that I use the term "Sweet Celestia" and "for the love of Luna" more and more frequently than "Oh my God" later in the story.) But you will notice later that there IS some foal language in this story, such as the word "ass" and "bitch". AGAIN, the vocal slang is different in this world, and "ass" WOULD be a term used in an Equine society as a SEVERE insult,and bitch derived from a term to describe a female dog, and we know they have THOSE in Equestria. But thank you for what you pointed out. I appreciate it when people care about the story enough to point out the flaws. So I will TRY to work on these mistake in the future. Thank you.
7515997
I know, but I still feel like it breaks the immersion... About "God", since it refers to the princesses, you might want to say "goddess" since they're females.
7516091 Or maybe I should just replace Oh my God with just Sweet Celestia. I don't know why, but oh my goddess just doesn't sound right.
7541867 YO! YOU READ IT!!!!!!!!!!!
7541867 Well this story ISN'T for kids.
7541867 You think I'm Novis, XD!
Darn right I read it and I know is not a little kids story , I was just shocked at first . Man you can write your incredible this story is just amazing . MLP should be begging you to let them air this as a movie not a television series . I guess there's still hope in this world as you have what it takes to renergize the movie/story industrie .
I just read the comment explaining the words used that were misunderstood . The whole example of my O.C. was to make the point about Bitch but I see you've already explained it . Great. Work !
7541917 Yes, dogs exist in this world, so bitch WOULD be a word. And If it ever became a movie, it would be a four part one(One for each Act) and would have to be put on Adult Swim! YAY!!! Thank you for saying these things. The praise I get from this story is what motivates me to continue. And speaking of continuing, I'm almost finished with chapter 13, and 14 will soon be underway!
1,500 WORDS!!!
7622040 It's because I wanted to do a story on her as well, but I DIDN'T have the time to write 2 separate stories at the same time(I estimate that I will be working on this story for the next 7 years) I have interchanged both stories into each other carefully and with much thought, and the story I want to write about her will be told throughout, but with get the most FOCUS in Act 3.
7665172 -
The only response I have for that is, "DAMN YOU, 15 year old ME!"
7693767
I spent 2 to 3 days researching it.
7515706
I disagree. There are references to real-world ( or at least real world based) nationalities made in canon. Fluttershy, for instance, when asked for her opinion on the dress Rarity had made for her in "Suited for Success" stated the garment did not resemble "true French Haute Couture". Fluttershy likely wasn't referring to the real world French, but rather, their in-universe counterparts. Something to keep in mind is that usually, whenever an MLP city is named, it's given a pun–name in the spirit of the real world place it's based off of. Yet, the France Fluttershy referred to was treated like any other location.
With that, I don't believe it's far-fetched that counterparts to our Cherokee Indians would exist in the fic-verse. I know the author already gave his reason for including "cherokee Indians" but I still feel this would be a viable explanation for them if he hadn't.
As for the reference to "God",
You do realize the show's parental guidance rating could possibly account for why God and religion aren't ever referred to explicitly, yes?
This Fanfiction on the other hand, isn't exactly rated G.
Religion likely exists in Equestria, it would be strange if it didn't.
Canon support of this claim can be found the S4 song "Bats", where AJ warned that the animals were "mean as sin". "Sin" obviously refers to the violation of a divine set of laws which would require a giver.
7699952
Then who are the Equestrians "Cheerokee Indians"? And who is Equestria's "God"? Because, used just like that, I feel like they refer to Earth's, and not on anything in MLP world.
7699952 'France' in my little pony is probably called 'Prance' lololol
7700212 Also, I never actually had a character REFER to anything as a cheerokee Indian
7700212 I can't tell you that. I wasn't telling you that they exist, I was explaining
why it would make sense if they did.
I already told you that the show's parental rating is likely a reason the writers cannot create religions for the inhabitants of the mlp-verse to follow.
But please tell me how it would make sense for ponies to refer to the gods of a species they don't even know exists (humans).
7701993 And that makes perfect sense.
Don't know why the writers went with "French"; it is quite disruptive to the immersion element to go off what Black Hoof said.
7702287 so true so true. lololol
7702013
I didn't say "characters".
As I have already said, the disrupted immersion at reading those references (without 'in story MLP world' explanation) is merely how I feel.
7728423 I've been thinking of giving it an illustration. I'll have to go over the way I described it again, before I do it though
7751133 No, Mr. Folklore isn't. He's more based on my FATHER than he is me
7751209 My "Male view" isn't the one I betray. I'm actually reflecting on how SHE views them on a majority herself.
7751236 And a Creator God isn't remembered because the survivors choose to forget about him after losing faith in his protection and promises
7751291 Literally all life, though he does gravitate more towards sentients. Other Minsore may very, from plants to animal, to marine life.
7751249 Well, then it's her view I take issue with. The whole setup seem artificial.
The idea that most men would be like that, making things convenient for Spike.
7751326 Well, a little plot hole I can clean up later, but what did you expect? She IS the most SHALLOW CHARACTER of the mane 6