Emerald Fires

by FolkloreBrony

Chapter 9-The Way Things Are

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Chapter 9-The Way Things Are
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Novis stood upon the brink, unable to move as he stared out into the valley. The moon had diverted its course to block the face of the sun, slowly eclipsing just shy above the mountain range in the distance. A hot, dry wind was carried before him, blasting past his body as his gaze was cast on everything in sight, and upon the wind, a dark, harsh voice spoke that pricked the hairs on the back of his neck.

Failure.

Everything that casted a shadow within the valley, was dead. Volcanic rock flowed from the mountain tops, falling like rivers into the once flowering fields, and the smoke that rose from its summits choked out the skyline with its smoldering ash. A fire broken out in the once mighty forests, to the point that only a few trees, charcoaled black by the firestorm, stood here and there from the ground.

Their blood is upon your hands.

The ground beneath his hooves began to shake violently, forcing him back from the ledge to stare at the soil. Out from the ground, cold, decaying hooves reached out from the rock, pawing at him for sweat release. The bodies of ponies long dead rose up from the ground leathered skin falling from their bare bones as they crawled painfully towards him, horrid cries echoing from deep within their bodies in desperate need for help that he couldn't hope to give.

Novis turned to escape the pleading gazes of their ghostly faces. This had never been what he wanted, why couldn't they accept that? There had been nothing for him to do to stop it, why couldn't he accept that?

He was escaping from this madness, until he was faced with something more horrifying. Sitting in front of him, a little filly waited silently, staring at him with cold, dead eyes. Those eyes; terrifying, ungodly, and glowing yellow in a background of black. She screamed, but it was an unnatural sound, like a phantom in a nightmare world. He watched the little girl scream, and in horror he watched as her tiny body burst into flames, the scent of burning fur and flesh punctured his nostrils.

Failure.
////
“NO!!!”

Novis shoot up from his bed like lightning, eyes darting about the room in a frenzy. His body was broken out in a cold sweat, as he slowly began to recover from the nightmare he had just experienced. Where was he? The books, the crystal...the castle. Why was he in the castle again? It was all slowly coming back to him, but certainly not quite quick enough for his liking. All those souls...lost. It was his fault. He should have seen the signs. He should have been stronger. He should have-

He should have treated Twilight and her friends less harshly.

Was he wrong? Could his anger be justified? These questions crossed the old stallion's mind as he held himself tightly, laying back on the cushions. He had guessed that perhaps his aggressive behavior could be the result of the day he had been having, disorientating him beyond his normal senses. And yet, he felt so angry. That in itself was infuriating. It felt so unnatural, like his mind was being swelled with a thousand thoughts at one time. It was at a time like this when he needed a moment of peace, and more importantly, guidance. But at his age, who could he go to in order to find any? Who could give him the comfort he longed for?

There was of course...one.

But from the moment he had been freed, that voice had remained silent. He could hear it nowhere, not in dreams, not in silent meditation, nor in guided thought. Why wouldn't he answer him? Why stay silent? He was desperate to find the answer, but at the same time, it made him afraid. There were perhaps a thousand reasons for the stillness, but one sat at the forefront, haunting him with its presence.

Disapproval.

That one thought was driving him mad with it's possibility. Could he...no longer have favor in his eyes? Could he no longer be good enough to be called his...

Son?

In the moonlit stillness of the room, Novis hung his head down low. A tear ran down his cheek, and going unnoticed, fell to the floor.
////
What was she to do?

Rarity pondered this question as she tossed and turned in the dark. It was already two in the morning, and she still couldn't decide on what would be best for the both of them. Why was it so difficult? How could she be feeling this way?

Look at me. Tell me that I'm wrong.

She honestly wished she could, but the problem that constantly got in the way was that she didn't know herself. She had never truly thought about the matter, but now she was beginning to understand why this was hard. Ever since she was a teenager, colts had been chasing after her, always with the same thing on their minds. She could of had a part of it, but she would never allow herself to be left opened to a slobbering idiot who didn't truly care about her first. It was a fact that she liked to keep to herself, but she was still a virgin, and it was something that she cherished beyond any other possession.

But Spike had been different.

Spike was always putting her first. His loyalty to her was unsurpassed, he was polite, and best of all, he went out of his way to listen to her problems, no matter how relative. He appreciated her for who she was, not what he could get out of her, which made herself feel important to his life. He was a true gentlecolt; honest, helpful, and genuinely sensitive to her feelings, and she didn't have any doubt that he didn't have one indecent thought of her in his mind. In that light, the only part of having an ideal relationship with him that was creating conflict, was also the most uncomfortable.

Sexuality.

She had never pictured him in any form of sexual activity. It was just too weird. Was. That was the word of controversy. He was growing in years in just a matter of days, and because of that, it was hard for her to understand just exactly what he was to her. But at the same time, his personality was everything she wanted in a stallion. Caring, supportive, and oh! How he made her laugh.

The only question was, would it be right?

And yet, in the back of her mind, tucked away in the subconscious, another question lay waiting to be answered.

Does she deserve him?
////
The morning light rose unnoticed by Novis has he thought quietly in his room. He had sat peacefully on his bed for the past five hours, but now he began to stir. He felt that he needed to do something today, but what?

When he was younger, he found that when he walked through the forest of the world it tended to relieve him of stress and clear his thoughts. But more importantly, it opened himself spiritually. He got up and walked to the balcony, gazing out to the sun rising above the Everfree forest. Its warmth uplifted his spirits, but it did not deter a sobering fact. The Everfree wasn't an ideal location for a short pilgrimage, not because of the wildlife, he could handle that, but because of the darkness that lived there. The hatred that inhabited the Everfree was a constant brooding shadow, and no light, no matter how brilliant or pure, could not coexist in it's black encampment.

And yet, not all was evil in the forest. Patches of the light shined here and there in it's dark embrace. Places where the sun had shined upon the earth it rested upon long before it's birth, and had grown strong through the centuries. The temple was one of them, but others stood as well. Most where small and went unnoticed; fountains, statues, and torn pathways, but others, like the Tree of Harmony, and ones of a more modern time, like the castle where the princesses once ruled were a dwelling place for the light. These were places of memories, echoes from a bygone age.

It was all he had left.

In any case, it would do him good to get out in the sun. He wasn't doing anypony a favor by continuing this mood. But he was confident that his mood would be lifted by this little stroll.

He left his room, and took a look at the long distance to the bottom of the stairwell. Flexing his wings, he checked to see if they were ready to be used again. Sure enough, they felt great, and giving a mighty flap, he descended downwards to the main floor, soon to leave for the world beyond.

Thus, a day of teaching began.
////
Leaves rustled in the wind as Novis walked along the path to Ponyville. The sun had yet to rise fully above the mountains, so there were few ponies who had gotten out of bed, and it made it even better for the time. The crisp, morning air blew softly past his face, an aroma of flowers and grass surrounding him in an enchanting vale.

It had been a wise decision to come out on such a nice day. Still, he could not yet feel the presence of the one he sought for. But there was still time. After all, he had not yet reached the boarders of the forest, so the only thing he could do was to enjoy the walk, and hope for the best.

The journey to the forest was slow and quiet. Normally, the walk from the castle to his destination would only take fifteen minutes, but Novis was taking his time. He ideally walked past booths and stands, buildings and outings, and after about an hour of window shopping, Novis had finally settled down at an outside restaurant to eat a rather large breakfast of eggs, toast, and browns. It was relatively simple fixings, but filling none the less, and soon finishing the meal, he left after paying with some bits that Rarity had given him the day before. She had explained the currency of the land to him, and after she had seen what he had been using for money, suggested that he take them to the head of, what had she called it? Museum? To have their value estimated.

In any case, he had satisfied his hunger, and now that he was refreshed, he went hurriedly on his way to reach the forest.
////
Earlier That Morning...
////
Rarity awoke grudgingly from the short nap that she had been able to get in that night. She turned to look at the clock, just as the large hand rang in the fifth hour of the morning. How desperately she wanted sleep to reclaim her, but alas, it was futile. The gears of her mind were already beginning to turn, and she knew that when that happened, it was impossible for her to return to rest.

Slowly, she got herself out from under the covers and staggered into the bathroom, instinctively looking into the mirror the moment she entered. Just as she feared, her mane was a mess, springing upwards into all different directions.

Great.

Rarity levitated a brush to herself, meticulously running the comb through her hair. She hated it when she had a rat's nest on her head in the morning. Quickly she set the curlers in her mane, knowing that it would take a while for them to straighten her mane out. Now she just sat staring at herself through the mirror, wearing a face of tired thought and boredom.

She felt hungry.

Rarity turned off the light in her bathroom and headed downstairs. Sweetie Belle was still in bed, so she had the shop all to herself. She loved her sister, but she had a talent for driving her up a tree, even though she meant well.

She didn't have much for food at the moment, just some cereal and a loaf of bread for toasting. Not that it really mattered since she wasn't in any mood for cooking. Slowly she made her bowl of brand cereal, pouring out the milk and walked over to sit down at the table. Unfortunately, this also brought up unwanted thoughts of Spike to her mind again. Spike could cook, he could REALLY cook. If he was here, he could wipe up breakfast fit for the Princess.

Stop thinking about him.

She really wished he could. But no matter what she did, HE was at the forefront of her mind. To say the least, it was beginning to tax on her nerves.

As she chewed the food in her mouth she began to think back to the old library in Canterlot. Sure, she had cried half the time, but she had also read strange stories of the world that Novis had lived in. She didn't know much about the matter, but she had actually heard of the kirins BEFORE Novis had revealed what was happening to Spike, and one thing she did know, was that the kirins didn't appear into existence until the seventh millinia of the Minsore's rule. However, what SHE wanted to know was, where did they come from?

Now she seemed to recall that the kirins showed up all over the Everfree Temple in the forms of art. They seemed to be important to the culture, likely viewed as soldiers but, somehow that didn't seem right. She felt as if she were missing something, something important, but she didn't have the capacity to think of what it was.

Perhaps it was time for her to investigate.
////
The Present...
////
Peaceful. That was the word that came to mind as Novis walked along the ancient path of the Everfree. The trees were array with color; reds, oranges, yellows, and as he wondered deeper into the wood, patches of blue and green spread across the treeline. The path was old and ridged, flowing like a serpent below the forest canopy. It was on this that he would be able to return to the temple, but he wasn't in any rush. He found perfect symmetry and enjoyment in the study of pure creation.

Everfree was indeed a a dangerous place to enter, however half the fears towards the forest were foolish reasons. The ponies of this age were frightened by disorder and unpredictability because their lives were managed in all aspects. From the Pegasi controlling the weather up to their rulers who dictated the courses of the sun and moon themselves, their lives were harmonized in almost every state of the natural world.

This was not however, necessarily a good thing.

Nature had been made to follow a certain order of rules, and to go against them would only bring disarray and misery to all life. Even when these laws were broken unintentionally by honest and even innocent reasons they opened up the doors of woe. It was because of this that the Everfree Forest and places like it were necessary for the preservation of the world. Chaos was good, but only when it helped the world to hold balance.

Novis understood this, and it was because of this that he was able to walk into the forest unafraid to appreciate the form and hidden beauty that resided there.

The path made a sharp dive downwards. Walking up to the peak of the hill, he was able to see a broad horizon of green mixed in with autumn color, and just below him, the path turned towards the right where he could see the temple rising ever so slightly above the trees, white marble reflecting in the sunlight. He remembered how it once looked all those years ago. The roads ran from it's doors to the four corners of the earth, each with it's own theme based on the direction they were heading. From ice and crystal to the north, woodland to the east and mountain ranges to the west and south, a city had been built around it as the central trading post of the world. Tal-Merya. But all that was left was the temple, and that was all he needed.

Novis walked to the outer court, nodded in respect to the stone guards that stood there. The statues were enchanted with a powerful magic, and therefore would only allow one into the courtyard for two reasons only. One, out of respect and pure intention, which was what he was using now to gain access. And the second, was for protection. The guards would allow those in need to enter, ponies whose lives were in danger could find sanctuary in their embrace, and they in turn would judge mercilessly on those who threatened life.

Walking past the gate, Novis stepped into the western hall of the temple. He lit his horn aglow, illuminating the chamber with his magical light. He felt at home here, standing among the art and craftsmanship created by the culture of his time, but that was not why he was here.

He felt a coldness as he entered into the main hall. He could sense the unhappiness that had been cast it by a darker time. However, he hoped to find that voice that he longed to hear. He looked to his brothers encased in stone, and though he wished to hear their voices as well, their time was not yet at hand. But one statue in particular grabbed his attention. A large, rocky likeness of a hardy stallion larger than himself stood with a mask of metal covering his mussel. He brushed his hoof past his face, saddened by the cold expression on it's face.

“I'm sorry. I am so, so sorry. I should have been able to help you.”

Novis turned away from the statue and looked up. The sun was rising above the mountains, that much he could tell. But now, he slowly knelt down to the floor and bowed his head to the earth, spreading his wings outwards to lay at his sides. There he began to pray out in the language of his past, calling out to the one he hoped to commune with. Those who were ignorant of his ritualism would have thought that he was broken out in song, but his words were a beckoning, a pleading of the heavens, which to his sadness, still went unanswered.

*Cough*

Like a crack of lightning, Novis wheeled around and materialized a sword with his magic, thrusting the blade within inches of the throat that belonged to whomever had entered the room. The poor mare in front of him cried out in surprise, dropping something from her magic as she jumped in fright. Slowly she mustered the strength she needed to look at him, watching as he recognized the curled purple mane and the white of her coat.

“Rarity? What are you doing here?” he questioned, lowering his sword as it was making her uncomfortable, “Were you following me?”

“N-No!” Rarity exclaimed, still a little shaken up, “I-I've just been going through some things lately, and-and...”

Novis looked into her mind and listened. It was in turmoil; uncertain, unbalanced, a complete and total mess. Something was definitely troubling her, and he would find out what.

“Maybe I should go.” She turned away, fully intent on leaving him for god knows what.

“No. Please, forgive me for my rashness. My judgment has been clouded by uncertainty, but that is no excuse for my behavior.” he stood aside and gestured to the floor, “Please sit, I would appreciate your company.”

Hesitant, Rarity complied and sat down beside Novis, pleased to be passed the awkward moment.

“I ask again, why are you here?”

Rarity sighed, “I don't really know. Ever since Spike began to change, I've just been trying to make sense of things. It's just so strange to me, and-”

“You care about him.” he stated.

She turned and stared at him, “What ever do you mean? He's a friend, nothing more.”

Novis was perplexed. Rarity was jumping too quickly onto the defensive. That only meant that she was feeling guilty about it.

“So...you don't care about him?” he asked.

“Well...no.” she retreated back within herself, not sure what to say.

“Rarity.” he coaxed, looking straight at her, “You're forgetting, I can see into your mind. You are trying to hide feelings too powerful to be shunned and unfaced. To ignore them will only make them worse.”

Rarity lowered her head, “I just...don't know what to do.”

“Then start by telling me.”

Rarity sighed again, “I...came here to learn more about kirins.”

Novis just nodded and listened.

“And,” Rarity swallowed, “I wanted to know about your culture and how you dealt with this kind of thing. The ponies back then seem to have been rather smart in my opinion, surely they knew how to keep things formal.”

“To put it simply,” Novis stated, “You want to know how to resolve this issue with Spike without hurting your friendship.”

“Yes.” she admitted.

Novis smiled, “Come with me.”

He got up and directed her to one of the halls. She immediately recognized it from the paintings on the wall. They were the same ones that Nyx and Scootaloo had seen when they had first discovered the ruin. Novis looked at these paintings like one fuddling over a fond memory. Rarity looked at the pleasant smile upon his face, wondering what he would say next.

“Let me tell you a story, about one of the greatest men I've ever known, and a true friend.” he lit his horn, casting it upon the wall where a portrait of a great dragon was printed.

“Once, the dragons had a culture of their own. Nopony had reason to fear them; they were honorable, and civilized at that time. And the greatest among them, was Bahamut the Golden. He was a wise and powerful Lord of his people, and he was a great teacher. Without him, I would not have learned the ways of governing congressional affairs.”

“But sadly, his rain didn't last. Greed had slowly grown in their minds and hearts, and though Bahamut tried, he could not force back their lust.” he turned to the picture beside the first, and unlike the first, was a scene of violence, “They rose in revolution, and killed the king, my friend, and all his children with him.”

“All...but one.”

“I'm sorry.” Rarity brushed her hoof on his shoulder, showing him some comfort for his loose.

“Thank you. But that does not end my story.” he continued down the hall, Rarity close in tow, “By chance one egg survived the slaughter, so I took it under my watch-care, I owed Bahamut that much. The last son of the Drakonian Throne, though cursed to suffer the shame of exile, flourished under my guidance. With the help of my brothers, I taught him literature, honor, self-denial, and the politics of leadership. But more importantly, he was the closest thing to a son I've ever had.”

“What was his name?” Rarity asked.

“Langerod.”he said, smiling at the memory of him.

“Now let me tell you another story.” Novis walked to the opposite side of the ball, directing Rarity's gaze to follow.

“Langerod was strong and proud, and his devotion and sense of duty towards the people was unshakable. So, he joined the army and became a captain, a true leader of ponies.” he passed mural after mural, until he reached one in the middle of the hall, “When he was three-hundred years old, he was sent out to watch over the southern boarders of the kingdom. He served there faithfully and without complaint, until he met her.”

“Her?”

Novis nodded to the next image, where a dragon and a pegasus formed a circle in a sky dance, “It happened by chance that he came across a band of dragons who were exiled during the revolution for siding with the king. Among them was a girl named Talaia, a mare whose parents had been killed in a war and had found refuge in their company. I do not know why he sought for her afterwords, but when he first saw her something awake deep inside him, and he was in love.”

“What happened to them?” Rarity asked curiously, now fully interested in what he had to say.

“He brought her to the capital of the land where I held council, and asked for my guidance.” Novis looked down at himself, “I cannot deny, for at first I was...disturbed by his request. And the debates, Oh! It lasted for days, and you can't even imagine the chaos it created.”

“But in the end, we allowed Harmony to decide.”

He passed a painting that was truly aw inspiring. A dragon, whom Rarity assumed was langerod, stood in a circle surrounded by six alicorn kings, each with a crown on their heads. They stood staring at langerod, and each one was shedding an inner light upon him, a beam of colors that touched and enveloped the dragon in light, and all six of these lights matched the colors of the Elements of Harmony.

“I must say that I did not expect for the power of the elements to turn him into an entirely new creature, at the most I expected him to lose all memory of her. But, one can't predict these things.”

“So after that, she decided to marry him?” Rarity asked.

“In a way, yes. But what would you say if I were to tell you that she had decided to marry him BEFORE he was transformed?” he asked playfully.

“W-What?” she answered, shocked.

“Somehow it made sense, her herself having been raised by dragons. It was all she knew.” he turned and looked at the dumbfounded mare in front of him, “I don't know what you plan to do with Spike, nor can I make a decision for you. All I can ask is that you consider all aspects of the situation before you make your choice.”

Rarity looked at the paintings that followed, showing the progression of their lives. Married, children, happiness; could that be the same for her? Could she too enjoy these pleasures that she had once dreamed of as a child? She pondered these things around in her mind, beginning to view the more positive aspects of the situation.

“Novis, I-” she started to say, but soon fell silent as she became aware of the stillness that surrounded her. Novis was no longer standing before her. She looked around to see where he had went, but there was no evidence of his departing.

He had simply...vanished.
////
Novis walked up the hill away from the temple. He was still saddened by the silence he had experienced, but he felt good that he had been given the opportunity to teach and to help resolve a conflict. For a moment, it had felt almost like the old days, he wondered if there was more that he could do. But for now, he wished to be left in silence, and to enjoy the waking hours of the forest in peace.

“Novis? Novis! Wait a moment!”

Or maybe not.

Novis turned to see Rarity stammering up the hill after him, “Don't leave me out her alone! Who knows what sort of icky thing might be lurking about!” she cried, feeling security standing next to him then out in the open.

“And yet you were brave enough to venture out here on your own.” he teased, causing her to turn red with embarrassment.

“Sometimes a lady is motivated by necessity.” she defended, which only made him laugh.

“Well, you can certainly come along if you wish, and I can assure you that there is no safer place.” he turned and continued on the path, “Besides, somehow I find your company strangely more pleasurable than the others, though I don't know why.”

So the two continued on their way down the path together, sharing idle comments and remarks as they walked among the trees. Light shined on the autumn leaves in the foliage, casting golden color on the ground before them. It was turning into quite the beautiful day, even by the standards of the forest, and the trees were filled with birdsong. It was a morning that almost seemed to have been created just for them.

“Novis?” Rarity spoke up, drawing his attention.

“Yes?”

“Why were you at the temple today?”

Novis paused in his walk and reflected. How could she understand? The old ways were dead, and the only religious example left in the world was focused in a group of traveling primitives stocking about Equestria smoking hallucinogenic plant matter. However, on the other hoof Rarity was an open-minded and intelligent pony, certainly she could understand his convictions.

“I was praying to my lord.” he answered, somewhat quickly.

“I'm...sorry?” she said rather confused.

Novis sighed, “I know you might find it strange, but I reserve worship unto a being more powerful than myself or any other alicorn in existence.”

“But, why?” she asked.

“Because he created us, and I honor him for that, as well as to seek him out for wisdom.” he looked away and frowned, “But ever since I was freed from stone, I have failed in my attempts to communicate with him.”

“Oh.” Rarity fell silent. She could tell that Novis was upset about this, though how bad she could not fathom. Though she found it hard to believe in this “Creator,” she was sure that if Novis had actually spoken to him in the past than there must be at least some presence out there that he could commune with.

There was a large steering in the trees, causing everything living to vacate. The two ponies looked up to see birds flying in all directions, but one bird caught Novis's eye. A raven flew above them, cowing and calling out into the world, spreading it's dark wings to sore away into the forest.

“What a beautiful creature.”

“Oh, you like ravens?” Rarity asked casually.

“Their one of my favorites.” he answered.

“Hmm.” Rarity thought to herself, deciding to make a mental note of that, though she didn't know why.
////
The Everfree Eastern Boarder-25 Miles South of Hoofington
////
The early morning dawn had yet to reveal it's light upon the trees, only just starting to paint the sky in hues of purple, blue, and reds. A rolling mist was covered across the evergreen, shrouding the forest in silence and mystery, the sound of crickets could be heard among the trees, chirping their romantic songs into the night. It was a peaceful scenery that brought beauty to a forest with no beauty of its own.

It was here that it came. The elm trees bent and creaked under the swift hot gusting of wind. There was a mighty crash in the trees as it landed, crushing the foliage under its massive weight. The creature took it's time to survey the area surrounding it; nothing would spy on his movements. The citizens of Hoofington lived in a lower level of land, and the distance would insure that they would not hear nor see him passing into the forest. Once more, Everfree was too dangerous of a place for ponies to set up their watch post, so his passage would go completely unchecked.

But now he set himself to work, lighting the trees ahead of him ablaze with his inner fire, burning a path for himself to move through. In most places, the beast could trample the forest asunder, snapping the trees as if they were twigs underneath his claws. But from her to there, where the forest became too thick to pass, he would spew his fire to burn away the obstacle. Soon the path snaked and slithered through the trees like a lake of fire. It would be a long and slow journey to his destination, but he could wait. Canterlot would burn upon the very mountain it stood, and by the time the Princesses would return to save their city, they would be too late to stop him.

A new dawn was rising. The age of his race had come.
////

Author's Note:

Please thumbs up if you enjoy this story so far, and comment your ideas of where this is going. Your support is greatly appreciated.

Comments

[Lucondrix]

This entire story is quite amazing, it has emotion, as if it was alive. The way it is described I could imagine the feelings, the scenery, the looks on the characters faces. Almost as if I could jump into it and be there. I really enjoy it, and will love to read more once it is posted. This is the type of story that could be made into a hard back book.

[Redgoats7]

I have exclusively enjoyed this story and think it should become a book as well , and quiet possibly a movie . The comment by Lucondrix is shared I to have a great imagination and this writing helps me see what the story is telling . It is possible to self publish this a kick starter campaign could net you the money needed . I am a book collector and reader I read a lot of things from basic literature to intellectual material and I see this as being well written and realistic in it sence of Pony literature . I am a Brony and spend a large amount of time on MLP/FIM and enjoy it .

[The Beast of the South]

-"A fire broken out in the once mighty forests"
Insert "had" between "fire" and "broken.

-"Their blood is upon your hands."
This sentence should be in quotations.

-" her tiny body busted into flames"
Busted------>burst

-" Novis shoot up"
*Shot

-" Disapproval"
Should be in quotations.

-" could not coexist in it's"
*its

-" rested upon long before it's".
*its

-" in an enchanting vale"
*veil

-" If he was here, he could wipe up"
*whip

-" Everfree was indeed a a dangerous place"
*remove the extra "a"

-" The roads ran from it's"
its

-"each with it's own"
*its

-"covering his mussel"
*muzzle

-" expression on it's face"
its

-"But sadly, his rain didn't last"
*reign

-" yet to reveal it's"
*its

- " The creature took it's time"
*its

-"The citizens of Hoofing ton"
Hoofing<----ton

-"distance would insure"
*ensure

-"But from her to there,"
*here

Gonna be frank. I don't like the way you've chosen to portray stallions in this story.
"Slobbering idiot".
"Horny little morons".
To suggest that the majority of stallions are thirsty cunts only concerned with personal pleasure seems forced and artificial, even more so when the fact that it was done with intent to have Spike stand out as a gem among men's considered.