Pinkie was ... different, that Twilight noticed right away. She didn't trot or run to her home. No, Pinkie bounced. Every move she made was filled with energy and joy; Twilight had never seen a pony this happy. Twilight held back a snort. Considering what I've been through, I could use a little cheer.
Pinkie, meanwhile, was having similar thoughts, albeit in a more disorganized manner. Called it! I knew the new pony would be different, and boy, she really is! What was up with that going through her thing, though? Hmmmm.
Finally, the two arrived at their destination. "Welcome to Sugarcube Corner, Twilight! Here for all your sugary sweet needs!" Pinkie beamed at her.
Twilight raised an eyebrow at her. "You live in a bakery?"
"Yup!" Pinkie enthusiastically nodded.
"That ... makes a lot of sense, actually." Twilight shrugged it off.
"I have my own private room upstairs, and then you can tell me how you're doing that cool intangible trick! Oooh! Maybe you could teach me to do it too! I cannot tell you how useful that would be for planning surprise parties!"
Twilight rolled her eyes. "I promise I'll explain everything once we're up there."
Pinkie narrowed her eyes at her. "Pinkie Promise?"
"Pinkie what?" Twilight asked quizzically.
"A Pinkie Promise!" the pink pony answered earnestly. At Twilight's blank look, she demonstrated the movements. "Cross my heart," signified with a hoof across the chest, "and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!" Pinkie finished by touching her eye with a hoof.
Twilight bitterly chuckled. "Considering the state I'm in right now, I doubt I have to worry about my heart being crossed or a cupcake being stuck in my eye."
Pinkie frowned. She hadn't meant to rile up the pony. "I didn't mean to annoy you or anything ..." She frowned.
Twilight was instantly regretful of her tone. She's just trying to be friendly. Did you learn nothing from those two mares in the park? "No, no, you didn't do anything wrong. It's just ... this wasn't my choice. You'll understand when I tell you my story. It's ... not a happy one." She sighed.
Pinkie had to remind herself not to put her hoof on Twilight's shoulder to comfort her. Instead, she had to use words. "Hey, your story's not over yet, silly! Sometimes the stories with the saddest beginnings and middles have the happiest endings!"
Those were surprisingly wise words from the energetic mare. Twilight weakly smiled. She wasn't super happy, but she appreciated Pinkie's efforts. "Thanks. But I've kept you in suspense long enough. Can we enter now?"
Pinkie beamed, glad she lightened up Twilight even a little. "Yup!" She pushed open the doors and saw Mr. and Mrs. Cake relaxing at the counter. There were only a few customers today; it seemed like a slow day. "I'm back!" she announced.
The Cakes waved at her. "How'd your day go, Pinkie? Was there a new pony in town?" Mr. Cake asked.
"Sort of." Pinkie looked behind her and winked at her companion. Twilight stifled a giggle. "I'm gonna head up for some Pinkie time. You guys okay down here?"
"We're just fine, Pinkie dear. Hardly anypony here today," Mrs. Cake assured her.
"Kay!" Pinkie exclaimed as she went up the stairs.
Mr. Cake sighed.
"What's wrong?" Mrs. Cake asked out of concern.
Mr. Cake did a quick look for any customers who were near, then leaned in close to his wife."I just worry about her," he whispered. "She doesn't really have someone to talk to outside of us."
"Come on, dear," Mrs. Cake laughed, "this is Pinkie we're talking about. She's friends with everypony in Ponyville."
"No, she's acquaintances with everypony in Ponyville. Just because somepony goes to her parties doesn't mean they're her friends. Does anypony visit her outside of parties or business?"
Mrs. Cake couldn't come up with anything.
"See! And we both know about her ... moods."
"Honey!" Mrs. Cake hushed. "Pinkie doesn't like us judging her for that, and it's been months since her last one."
"I know, I know," he defended, "I just want her to be happy. Pinkie deserves that. She deserves friends, and it looked like she was really banking on this day to change that. But after all that excitement this morning, it's just a 'sort of'? Seemed evasive to me."
"Carrot," Mrs. Cake cooed, placing a hoof on his shoulder, "I love and worry about Pinkie just as much as you do. But she's a full grown mare now, not that little filly looking to get by in a new town. She needs and wants to find her own footing. All we can do is be there when she needs us."
Mr. Cake gave a little smile to his wife. "Yeah, I guess you're right."
"Aren't I always?" she teased.
"Oh, so the flour incident was all according to plan?" he smirked.
Mrs. Cake gasped. "We swore never to talk of that day again!"
He chuckled. That mare could cheer him up better than anypony, even Pinkie. "Come on, dear. Back to work."
"Here it is, the Party Palace!" Pinkie informed Twilight as they entered the room.
"The Party Palace?" Twilight deadpanned.
"Also known as the Cupcake Center, Balloon Base, and my room!" Pinkie giggled.
Twilight couldn't help smiling. That pony was infectious. She took stock of the room. It was circular and large. Not surprising; a pony like Pinkie probably wouldn't do well in an enclosed space. As for the decor, it was exactly what she expected from a mare like Pinkie. Her bed had a shape of a balloon on it, and on the bed was a blue blanket adorned with pink balloons and candies. Outlines of teddy bears were on the underside of the level above them, and her closet had painted balloons on it. Ugh, it's like she decided to never grow up. She recoiled at the harsh thoughts. They had came out of nowhere.
"Whaddya think?" Pinkie asked.
Delicately, Twilight. "It's ... unique."
Pinkie smiled. What a nice thing to say! "Thanks!"
Twilight took a deep breath. All right. No more distractions. Let's get on with it. "Are you ready?"
Pinkie nodded.
"Okay." And so she told her tale to Pinkie. She talked of her fear when she had woken up, of the misery of finding out her fate, of the despair of her family and the guilt she felt at causing them to go through it. How she had snapped when she couldn't reach her books (this Pinkie especially resonated with, along with Twilight's invisibility; being unable to cook or make others laugh was unthinkable), how she had given up until two mares in a park showed her the magic of friendship.
She told of the lessons she learned through other ponies. There was Braeburn and Little Strongheart in Appleloosa, a pony and a buffalo who, despite tension between the two groups, formed a deep, secret friendship, all because he gave the hungry child an apple. There was Cranky Doodle Donkey in Fillydelphia, searching for his love. His devotion was inspiring, but his situation was an uncomfortable parallel to hers, a reminder that her journey would not be easy. There was Fancy Pants and Fluer, Hoity Toity and Photo Finish, and more. All showed her life’s brightest highs and darkest lows, and fueled her desire to return to it.
Pinkie was left in tears. She's so strong. How could she go through this and not just lose all hope? I couldn't do that.
"Twilight?" she asked after a few minutes of silence.
"Y--yes?
"Can you do me a favor?"
"What?"
"Wrap your hooves around yourself."
"Wha--why?" Twilight sputtered.
"Please?" Pinkie whimpered.
Twilight couldn't resist, doing what Pinkie asked. "There."
"Now squeeze yourself really hard. Give yourself a really good hug for me, because I really wish I could."
"I-- thank you, Pinkie." And even though it was childish and sentimental, Twilight closed her eyes and pretended that the kind baker was hugging her. After a moment, she dropped her hooves, opened her eyes, and dried them. "Anyway, now I'm here. With the one pony who can see me. How can you do that?"
"I don't know, Twilight. I wish I did. But I've always had this sixth sense; I get this twitch in my tail that tells me when something's about to fall or a shudder when a doozy's about to happen. But I can't control them; they just come and go. I've been like this since I was a filly. I don't know why I'm so special, Twilight. I'm sorry I can't help you more." She hung her head. She wanted to help, she really did. But this was one thing her Pinkie Sense could never have predicted.
Twilight, meanwhile, was mulling over what she said. Once upon a time she would've dismissed this Pinkie Sense as scientifically impossible. But considering her current situation, she wasn't one to judge. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed Pinkie looking down. I have to cheer her up!
"Pinkie, you have helped more than enough. You've comforted me, made me laugh, hay, just you talking to me has lifted my spirits more than you know."
"Really?"
Twilight smiled. "Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." She even did the motions too.
Pinkie giggled.
"Besides, you can help me. I never got to research my condition because I couldn't read any books. But you could read them for me! Do you have a library in town? Does it have the kind of books we need?"
Pinkie enthusiastically nodded. "The Ponyville library was one of the earliest founded and largest libraries in Equestria! It was founded by Bio Graph, an esteemed researcher, and her large collection of books were added to it. There definitely should be a mention of your ghostiness somewhere in there!"
"How did you know that?" Twilight asked with genuine curiosity.
"Silly Twilight!" Pinkie laughed. "The more things I know about the town, the more excuses I have to throw a party!"
Twilight was ready to comment, but paused, and just shook her head in amusement instead. "You are one unique pony, Pinkie. Should we get to it?"
"Um, Twi?" She pointed out the window.
"What?" Twilight looked out the window and saw that it was pretty dark out. "Oh." She blushed. "I didn't know my story had gone on for that long."
The party planner laughed. "It's fine, Twilight. I didn't notice till now either!"
"I guess time really flies by when you're having fun. Or sharing heartrending tales of woe," Twilight joked. Pinkie snorted as Twilight turned to leave. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow."
"What? Where are you going?"
"Out to wait, of course!"
"Outside?"
"No, on the sun." At Pinkie's blank look, she elaborated with a sigh, "Yes, outside. Don't worry, I don't really feel the cold or anything."
"It's the spirit of things!" Pinkie objected. "No, you are sleeping in here, in a nice room with a nice floor and a nice warm fire in the chimney! I won't take no for an answer!"
"You sure it won't be creepy?"
Pinkie quirked an eyebrow. "Why would it be creepy?"
"Because I can't sleep. I just didn't feel anything, least of all tiredness at the hospital, and I tried to in the park, but it just didn't happen," Twilight explained.
"Maybe because a hospital and a park aren't the most comfy places to sleep? C'mon, try it for me. And even if you can't sleep, wait in here. It'd make me feel a lot better!"
"Fine, I'll sleep next to your bed if that's okay," she said as she made way to the spot. The floor wouldn't be the best spot to sleep, but beggars couldn't be choosers. She'd just fade through the bed. Which was interesting, when she thought about it. Why didn't she fade through the floor, down to the core of the planet, heck, maybe even out into space? What dictated her intangibility? That was something to research tomorrow. Her thoughts were interrupted by Pinkie's chipper voice.
"That'd be just peachy! Just let me say good night to the Cakes and I'll be right up!" Pinkie flicked the light switch as she went down the stairs, leaving Twilight alone.
Pinkie could still see the light was still on downstairs, meaning that the Cakes were cleaning up. She bounced down the stairs and into the kitchen. "Hey, guys! Just wanted to say good night!" she exclaimed, beaming.
"Thanks, Pinkie. Good night to you too," Mr. Cake returned, a small smile on his and Mrs. Cake's faces.
Pinkie frowned. She knew when people were really smiling, when they were just humoring her, and especially when they were upset about something but were hiding it behind an artificial smile. She had done that plenty of times herself, hay, she was practically an expert! "You guys are sure you're okay?"
"Positive, dear," Mrs. Cake reassured her.
"Okaaaay," she said, returning to the staircase. However, she did not go all the way up, but instead, stopped in the middle and stomped on a stair a few times to make it appear she had gone up. The Cakes were always caring, respectful, and honest with her. They knew she wasn't an airhead, and when something serious was bothering them, they always told her.
Like when Sugarcube Corner was having financial trouble back in the early days of her living there; they told her about it, and she performed entertaining and engaging ads on the street, because honestly, when a pink pony dresses up like a cupcake and sings about the wonders of Sugarcube Corner, you have to visit! They told her it had really helped with business. If they could tell her when she was still new to them about their business troubles, then whatever was bothering them now when she was their friend must've been really serious, and she couldn't stand to see the Cakes in trouble without doing something about it. She perked up her ears and listened to them talking downstairs.
"Dear, hadn't we already talked about this earlier?" Mrs. Cake's voice reached her ears, concerned.
"That was before she went up to her room and talked to nopony for two hours! You heard her voice as well as I did, Cup!" Mr. Cake retorted.
They were listening in? And for how long? How could they?
"But it's not an incident this time. Pinkie's mane was fine, and the only voice we heard was her normal one. Maybe she was talking to Gummy?" Mrs. Cake proposed.
"For that long? That's absurd! Are we supposed to let her stand on her own four feet even if it means watching her stand in quicksand?"
"Honey, you're jumping to conclusions."
"Maybe. But what if I'm not? What if Pinkie's just evolving her delusions? What if instead of some rocks that deep down she knows aren't real, she's seeing a pony she truly believes does? That would explain why her hair didn't change. She really believes she isn't alone."
That's crazy! Twilight's real! Isn't she?
"Honey, calm down. Fretting over every little thing she does won't help. Right now it's all speculation. We'll keep a close eye on her, make sure that this isn't a false alarm. If we push her too much, we'll just scare her away."
Mr. Cake sighed. "I know. Just ... Why? Why aren't we enough for her? Why doesn't she just find some real friends? Why does she just keep making up these fake ones? I--I just want her to be happy," he choked out.
"I know honey, I know," his wife comforted.
Pinkie's eyes were moist. Why do I keep hurting them? Why would they say that? ... What if they're right? She went back to her room as silently as she could.
Twilight was still there, and she had tried valiantly to sleep, but her attempts failed. She was forced to instead wait for Pinkie and tell her of her failure. She was ready to tell Pinkie when she had entered the room, but noticed her crestfallen expression. "Pinkie, what's wrong?"
Pinkie stared at her for a few seconds. Twilight frowned at this. She didn’t know the pony long, but even so, she knew a pause was uncharacteristic. For that matter, her eyes seemed to be wet. That was definitely out of character.
Finally, she whispered, "Are you real?"
"What?"
"Are you real?” she shouted. “How am I supposed to know you're not another of my crazy made-up friends because I couldn't handle being alone? And you're exactly the type of pony I'd like to know! A smarty pants, nice, funny, desperate for a friend. You'd reign me in when I was being too overbearing, and I'd teach you to loosen up and live a little. It's too perfect! It fits too nicely!" Pinkie spat out.
"Pinkie, of course I'm real."
"Prove it. Please, prove it. I don't--I don't want to be alone again."
Twilight thought about how to prove to Pinkie she was real. Logically, all her points checked out, and it would certainly explain Twilight's absurd condition. Of course, Twilight knew she was real, because she could think and feel, but Pinkie couldn't read her thoughts. So how do I-- Suddenly, she got it. She trotted over to the sad pony and sat down next to her.
"Did you know Princess Celestia loves cake? She doesn't just love cake, because everypony loves cake, right?" Dear Celestia, Pinkie's rubbing off on me.
Pinkie nodded.
"She loves it. Total cakeaholic."
"Twi--"
"Let me finish," Twilight gently told her. "Celestia doesn't like that coming out because it makes her seem less 'dignified'," she giggled. "I remember when I was a small filly in the early days of being her and Luna's student. The two of them decided that the best way to celebrate me living at the castle was a small party, just the three of us, just to get to know each other a little. Some tea, some generously spread streamers, and, of course, cake. As a filly, I had always adored the princesses as regal, unknowable deities. They acted far more surely and reasonably than normal ponies, or so I thought. But Celestia went to absurd heights to conceal this party; windows were boarded, curtains were drawn, guards were at the door.
Panicked, I asked Luna if there were rebellious ponies about to attack, or if a pride of Manticores were on the way, or if a meteor from the furthest reaches of outer space was going to crash and destroy the castle, also unleashing the extraterrestrials which had hiked a ride on it who would then proceed to infect every pony into one of them. I read way too many sci-fi novels, even today, and it is way too easy to get me worked up.
Anyway, Luna simply replied with a wink, 'You'll see why once we get to eat the cake, little one'. Finally, they carted the cake in, and Celestia surveyed it with her graceful eyes, peering every inch of it, and then delicately nodding in approval. Then she just went to town on it, digging her face in. Cake went here and there, Celestia didn't seem to care where it landed. I watched with awed and horrified eyes, watching as one of the rulers of the most powerful country in the world devoured a cake so rampantly.
'Celestia!' Luna called out in a reproachful voice. When Celestia looked at her, Luna simply said with a smirk, 'Save some for the rest of us.'"
Pinkie looked at Twilight blankly, trying to hold a smile. "What was the point of that?"
"Well, one, it made you smile. I see that!"
Pinkie couldn't help to let her smile shine through.
"Two, it showed you that I have to be real, because not even you could think of something that ridiculous. And three, it shows that sometimes ponies are not what you expect. They act differently than your notions of them. You have to look deeper than the surface. I would've never expected Celestia herself to be so addicted to cake. It went against all I had logically expected. Now, you have to do that too. Logically, it's hard to believe all of, well, this." She gestured to herself. Pinkie's an emotional pony. I have to appeal to that. "But what do you feel, Pinkie? What do you believe?"
Pinkie looked into those violet, hopeful eyes and knew there was no other answer. "I believe you're real, Twilight. No way I could come up with somepony as cool as you."
Twilight blushed but tried to play it off. "I'm cool? Wish you could've told that to my classmates at the Academy."
Pinkie giggled, and Twilight's heart melted. Her laugh is adorable.
"So," Pinkie began after a moment, "no sleep, huh?"
"Nope," Twilight sighed. "I could leave if you--"
"Stay here. At least until I fall asleep. Please?"
There was no way Twilight could say no. Not when Pinkie said it so pitifully. "Of course," she replied, making her way back to her previous spot, left of the bed on the bare floor(She was offered a pillow, but alas, she would only fade through it), as Pinkie headed for her bed. As the minutes rolled by, Twilight found it hard to keep her eyes open. What? How? How could this-- Then she looked at Pinkie and smiled. That wondrous mare who saw her when nopony else could and cheered her up despite her situation. That mare must be magic. And with that fond thought, she drifted off to her first sleep in a long while, dreaming of introducing her family to the crazy pink mare who made her hope again.
new chapter!!
i love where this story is going. Keep this up.
on the bare floor(She was offered a pillow, but alas, she would only fade through it)
How do you explain that she doesn't sink through the floor, but does through a pillow? Does astral form subtract from the permeability level of an object, rather than multiply it by 0?
Perhaps Pinkie is part of the border between the land of ponies and the plane of the ones who cannot awaken.
Or maybe I'm a bit deprived of sleep.
Pinkie should just talk to the cakes... <3 new chapter
Not sure if making the spirit jokes on purpose...
546754
But where's the angst and fun in that?
546758
What spirit jokes?
546770"Pinkie, you have helped more than enough. You've comforted me, made me laugh, hay, just you talking to me has lifted my spirits more than you know."
"It's the spirit of things!" Pinkie objected. "No, you are sleeping in here, in a nice room with a nice floor and a nice warm fire in the chimney! I won't take no for an answer!"
Now, I know my friends chide me for finding jokes where there clearly were none intended, but...
546794
Oh god. All the puns i make in real life have finally infected my subconscious! Yeah, those weren't intentional, but are funny as heck now that I see it.
I say! This story is adorable!
Keep going good sir and there will be a shiny new tuppence in it for you!
Pinkie Pie, you just keep on breaking physics and everything will be okay
punknomad.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/fuck-yes-meme-generator-fuck-yes-f64811.png
ANOTHER GOOD CHAPTER!!
The saddest part about this chapter is... that when it's over, I have to wait so long for another. I know it can't be helped... but something as precious as this makes it hard to wait for.
Fantastic work my good sir. Pinkie is very Pinkie, Twi is accurate, and the secret fears of the cakes (and information of Celestia's cake addiction) are very well done.
I will admit to being a bit lost on how Twi knows Luna when it shouldn't be possible for her to exist, seeing as how conventional wisdom places her on the moon at this time in her life. If she was freed, she'd know her friends. If she wasn't, then who was she talking too? More importantly, do the other members of the Mane 6 possess the ability to detect her in any way? Is it more than Pinkie's dimensional irregularity that allows her to see Twilight, like a link born of the elements of harmony or the sonic rainboom that gave them all their cutie marks? It would be interesting if Twi became more real the more of the mane 6 she was around. Not necessarily enough to be seen maybe, but perhaps enough to use magic or be heard or even just touch things? That would be an interesting complication. On the other hand, it would probably detract from the focus of the TwiPie friendshipping plot. Still worth considering... IDK as a way to confirm to Pinkie what's real, or maybe to bring her out of a crazy-state when she needs it?
547657
You're ignoreing the AU tag, Luna in this fic never turned to Nightmare Moon, though we did get a small glimpse of Nightmare when Twi was first hurt, Luna's small rant of how everything seemed to be taken from her.
547949 Ah I figured it was something like that. I must have just forgotten the AU tag. My bad. That does beg the question as to what else is different though. Obviously the Rainboom is the same.
<- 'nuff said right there
I like where this is going
Keep it up Book
That was beautiful in a lot of ways. I'm loving this.
Nice.
I think a good metaphor for this story would be riding on a beautiful train, but up ahead you know the track will be really bumpy
Wow, this is really good and well written.
I can´t wait to see how this gonna continue. Will Twi show Pinkie her body in the hospital? Will Pinkie speak for Twi to ensure her family and mentors and Spike that everything gonna be alright? Will Twi find a way to get back inside her body? Can Twi the longer she stays with Pinkie not only regain her ability to sleep but also her ability to use her magic? Can she enter other ponies and overtake their bodies for a short time (like in other ghost stories)? And most important:
Will they find out why Twi´s spirit was separate from her body (i believe that wasn´t an accident but due the assassins attack, they wanted her soul/magic but failed in getting it but still managed to separate the body and soul in the process) and will they find out who attacked Twi so that she´s in the state she´s now???
God, this could become so so so so so great, i´m giggling all over the place.
This story is really good so far, and makes me wish it updated faster, but hey don't rush it. I am very curious as to what happens with this story, I find it to be a very interesting take on the whole 'what if Twilight never left for Ponyville?' question.
Your story is very intriguing, I love how you mixed two of my favorite interpretations of Pinkie's personality; the emotional deep character hidden under a mask of sunshine and laughter; and to a lesser extend, the "head in the clouds" character that knows more and is more intelligent than she lets off.
However, your Twilight's misrepresenting of the scientific method is bugging me a little. Twilight's claim to "once upon a time consider the Pinkie sense a scientific impossibility" assuming that "once upon a time" was before she got comatose rather than when she was but a little filly and didn't know better, is totally not how the scientific method works. Science works by measuring the probability and accuracy of an assertion through observations and evidence; an assertion is more probable the more evidence and observations support it, and made less probable with either a lack of evidence and/or contradictory ones. Science refuses the concept of unfalsifiability (An assertion that can never be (never be = no probability of) contradicted by observations and evidence.[i.e Can never be proven wrong.]) and just as readily, impossibility (An assertion that can never be supported by observations and evidence.[i.e Can never be proven right.]). Thus (assuming "Pinkie senses" aren't well documented.) her thoughts should have been closer to "scientific improbability" rather than "scientific impossibility".
Also, I am somewhat disappointed with how Twilight "proved" her existence to Pinkie Pie, it would have gone much better if she were to go along the lines of "Hey! Why don't we make a quick trip to the royal hospital in Canterlot like, tomorrow morning? I'm sure showing you my comatose and very real body would, if anything, lessen your doubts and give me, your supposed delusion, a fairer chance!"
The current result of Twilight's prove of existence would most likely not alleviate Pinkie's doubts of her existence by much, for long. Mostly because if Pinkie gave any serious thought about Twilight's explanation, she would discover three simple counters against Twilight's existence hypothesis.
1. Delusions can make ponies smile. I mean, lots of crazy ponies do that all the time!
2. Delusional ponies can think up some of the most crazy of things, even if they could convince themselves they would never conjure up such ridiculousness. I mean, lots of crazy ponies do that all the time!
3. How does thinking up wise words about not to judge someone by their cover prove the existence of anything?
I mean,lots of crazy ponies do that all the time! Scratch that, only some crazy ponies think them philosophies up all the time! (Kinda like AbsoluteAnonymous' take on Pinkie Pie [Which makes this counter just a little bit more valid if you think about it.], only she wasn't that crazy... relatively speaking.)557058
1) I agree, BUT that was how Twi acted in Feeling Pinkie Keen. She didn't go by the Scientific Method in that ep, trying to find out how it worked and the like. Instead, she focused on disproving it, forming a hypothesis(the Pinkie Sense can't be real) and trying to find evidence of that instead of the other way around. It is one of many reasons why I hate that episode, but it is canon.
2) Well, from a narrative standpoint, it wouldn't be as meaningful as this. It's Twilight asking Pinkie to take a leap of faith, a reversal of their usual situation. It's developing that trust. Plus, Twilight probably doesn't want to go to Canterlot and risk seeing her family in pain again unless she's back to normal or has no other choice. And they're going to the library. Pus, Pinkie does have a job, she has to wait till her next day off/weekend before she can take a hours long trip to Canterlot. This will at least satiate Pinkie long enough for the theoretical trip.
And furthermore, I think you're missing the point. Yes, these are all signs of craziness, and logically it puts it into doubt. But this isn't logic, it's friendship. It's Pinkie learning to trust somepony that they're there for her, that they won't just forget her and just hang with her during parties or just get so annoyed they avoid her. Just like Twilight learned the same thing with AJ, that friends will be there and you can trust them. Logically, why didn't AJ just say "Dash and 'Shy will catch ya,"? Because from a writing standpoint it's not as powerful. It served a purpose, developing Twi and her views on friendship. What would she have learned if Applejack had said the logical thing?
Sorry if I sounded faux artsy there. But thanks for commenting, the fact that you went in depth with your complaint must mean you care about/are invested in the story, so that's good!
557094
Yeah! I am quite interested in your story!
I do hate Feeling Pinkie Keen too, not because Pinkie Pie could seemingly predict the near future with body spasms, but because of how Twilight handled that phenomenon. In my opinion, she should have done some field tests with Pinkie's senses (i.e. Rigging objects to drop near Pinkie, doors to open etc, etc.) preferably without alerting Pinkie to her tests (Blind Testing).
If Twilight observed the Pinkie Sense before the rigs are set off, she is probably precognitive (Can predict the future).
If Twilight observed the Pinkie Sense after the rigs are set off, she is probably reflexivity perceptive (Is subconsciously or instinctively observant).
If Twilight observed Pinkie observe the rigs going off before the Pinkie Sense "sets off", she is probably just exceptionally observant (And trolling of the whole of Ponyville at that.).
If Twilight observed the Pinkie Sense irregardless of rigs and genuine incidents, her "Pinkie Sense" is probably just a big coincidence (and ponies are just more observant of certain things around one.).
By actually correctly practicing the scientific method, Twilight could have easily found out how the Pinkie Sense tick. She could have written a letter to Princess Celestia about how she learnt not to pass prejudgements and to follow where the evidence leads. Princess Celestia would've been so proud of her... Rather than her "take it on faith" letter which Princess Celestia probably burnt or sent to the moon followed by sobbing in a corner in self pity over her prodigy's blatant contortion of the scientific method. (Observe how the letter from Feeling Pinkie Keen was never read out loud by Twilight. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uf83Yd8QaK4 )
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I do disagree somewhat on the "leap of faith" part, it would be much more impactful to show Twilight and Pinkie staying true and loyal to each other, enjoying the good times together, suffer through the harsh times together, and grieve upon the sorrowful ones together. That they would never part, that even when they get into a heated argument and broke up, Twilight and Pinkie would always come back to make amends and hugs...
Additionally, you could make a very interesting plot where Pinkie is fairly confident of Twilight's existence (She saw Twilight's body and everything.) and the Cakes not knowing any better, persuades Pinkie to make some real friends.
Besides if AJ were to say "Let go, let go and Dash an' Shy'll catch ya, you'll be safe, you gotta trust me on that." the impact would not have been lost, on top of that, Twilight would have demonstrated a willingness to trust others rather than a willingness to take them up on faith. (It takes a great deal to put your trust in two near complete strangers at saving your life. But it takes a whole deal of complete naive to hold faith in that somehow, the pony you just met today, holding on to your life, asking you to let go, is not going to cause you to fall to your horrible death.)
I mean, I just don't see why we can't have both logic and friendship ;P
(p.s. This is an alternate universe fic, you can ignore as much cannon as you need.)
I'm sad that it took me so long to get to reading this after I put it in my "Read Later" tab. I'm really enjoying this so far; you've got a very interesting premise, good characterizations, and good set ups for conflicts.
I really like how you're playing with Pinkie's insecurities and her lack of real pony connections, as well as how the Cakes are playing in to it as well. It's also interesting to watch you deal with Pinkie's "episodes" and how they relate to ghost!Twilight's presence.
Of course I'm also loving the Pinkie Twilight interactions which are just adorable. I think I'll just leave with these:
Pinkie wanted to make her giggle more.
Pinkie giggled, and Twilight's heart melted. Her laugh is adorable.
Can't wait to read more.
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Such praise means a lot, coming from you. Your stories have inspired many Twipie fics, mine included. Alliteration really opened the gates for Twipie to flourish, and the author of it following me is a great morale booster. Here's hoping I don't screw it up!
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You have no idea how happy it makes me to know that I helped inspire a wave of TwiPie that is currently blowing my socks off.
You've got something solid here, and I don't doubt it'll be great!
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GOT IT. Perfectly logical reason why Twi can't just show Pinkie her body. She's the Princesses' student and the Captain of the Guard's sister. This makes her a very huge target, especially now that she's in such a vulnerable position. Thus. her room is under huge security, the only ones being allowed to visit being the Princesses, Spike, and her family. There's no way they'd let a pink pony who claims to know the victim, especially when she says that Twilight is a semi-ghost who only she can see. There, perfectly logical.
Changed image. Felt first one was kinda misleading, and this one I feel exemplifies the ups and downs of the story better. It's even called Good Life!
I've imported from GDocs with the previous chapters; the GDoc versions had less grammatical errors. If you should find something wrong, formatting or otherwise, please tell me about it!
great fic so far, can't wait to see how this turns out.
ghost's aren't scientifically possible
your story isn't scientifically possible
I'm glad you decided to screw science though
I'm gonna have to report you...for writing a totally kick A story!!!
Interesting, looking forward to reading more of this.
"Oh, so the flour incident was all according to plan?" he smirked.
Damn you and your Calvin and Hobbes!
Also, for writing a much better story than me. Keep it up!
546689 "Fine, I'll sleep next to your bed if that's okay," she said as she made way to the spot. The floor wouldn't be the best spot to sleep, but beggars couldn't be choosers. She'd just fade through the bed. Which was interesting, when she thought about it. Why didn't she fade through the floor, down to the core of the planet, heck, maybe even out into space? What dictated her intangibility? That was something to research tomorrow.
Maybe it will be explained sometime in the future... for now the accurate explanation would be.. magic *snort snort*
At the rate you're going at, I'm going to be a TwiPie shipper at the end of chapter 4 and will declare it the OTP around chapter 6.
This is wholesome and heart wrenching at the same time