i must say that this story is coming along smashingly! if i were to have any criticism about it, i would just say that this seemed a tad rushed, don't be afraid to take a little more time to add more detail and build up suspense towards the more important parts. other than that, you're lookin' good, keep em coming! (but seriously, take your time)
I shed no tears nor feel any emotion for monstrosities like her. For the most part that is.
1; If Applebloom was in complete control, her death was satisfying. 2; If she wasn't and was forced to watch her body commit atrocities, she's probably relieved her body can't keep murdering.
It felt a wee bit rushed if you ask me. Couldn't focus on one scene because it transferred into another too quickly. That's why I haven't felt much all throughout the chapter.
And also...
Applejack and Big Mac had just finished berrying Applebloom. None of them said anything. They berried Applebloom right next to where Dash was berried.
You accidently made it hilarious with those. The words you need here are "burying" and "buried". Doesn't change the fact that I still like the premise of this fanfic and eagerly await an update.
OH GOD I HELPED PICK THOSE WHO WERE MURDERED!
496177 not really i just didnt remember there names. they were already picked
1.bp.blogspot.com/-w5KDqnIxp-Q/TalifoU8TAI/AAAAAAAAAAM/ohQMf9hZ2rc/s1600/kill%2Bme%2Bnow.jpg
Grrr! I shall never tell the name of a pony you don't know the name of... i sealed the fate of two ponies Celestia have mercy on my soul.
sigh.......
dash.ponychan.net/chan/files/src/132692171502.png
I'll leave this here.... a tribute to Applejack and Rainbow...
i must say that this story is coming along smashingly!
if i were to have any criticism about it, i would just say that this seemed a tad rushed, don't be afraid to take a little more time to add more detail and build up suspense towards the more important parts. other than that, you're lookin' good, keep em coming! (but seriously, take your time)
496259 alright ill keep that noted king! you heard the man! now i gotta make you all wait
I shed no tears nor feel any emotion for monstrosities like her. For the most part that is.
1; If Applebloom was in complete control, her death was satisfying.
2; If she wasn't and was forced to watch her body commit atrocities, she's probably relieved her body can't keep murdering.
Looking forward to the next chapter mate!
It felt a wee bit rushed if you ask me. Couldn't focus on one scene because it transferred into another too quickly. That's why I haven't felt much all throughout the chapter.
And also...
Applejack and Big Mac had just finished berrying Applebloom. None of them said anything. They berried Applebloom right next to where Dash was berried.
You accidently made it hilarious with those. The words you need here are "burying" and "buried".
Doesn't change the fact that I still like the premise of this fanfic and eagerly await an update.
oops
alright ill go fix those!
Wait, I thought that Rarity was dead.
Not only Rainbow Dash terrorizes Applejack, she kills Applebloom AND vandalizes a poor apple tree!
532649 you're kiddin' right?