Yes. I realised that a lot of boring waffle could follow that sentence, but I think it's better that it doesn't. I'll admit that I didn't think about the possibility it could be seen as a mistake, or I'd have put in an additional scene break to end the chapter.
This story is like a horror story, I'm constantly worried for Trixies sake and their relationship is SO eff'ing messed! It's just so freaking weird! I love this story. Although I find Trixies willingness to accept "Altertrixie" a bit much at times. Surely the "oh its like that in my world" excuse would wear thin after a while.
I hope this is one of those stories that end happily. I know Chrysalis isn't really all that caring, but I hope somewhere, deep down in what hopefully is somewhat of a heart, she grows fond of Trixie and loves her not to feed, but to actually love.
I love this, soo much. It probably won't have a happy ending, unless someone else helps Trixie to.. find peace and love. Chrysalis can't love, I'm sure, her character is so well played here! Like Sinisteed, it just feels like a non-pony.
I've not read Fallout:Equestria, or played Fallout, but this stuff's in the Zeitgeist, so I could be ripping off another fiction that's referencing FO:E, or I could be referencing some meme out of Fallout itself. What's the specific line?
Edit: I've read Romance Reports, so it can surely be an influence - especially if you're thinking of the bit where Trixie breaks down, because, yes, I see the similarities there. It wasn't ripped off directly, however - I hadn't read Romance Reports for months when I was writing this chapter (although, strangely, I was put in mind of it yesterday, and read a little today, so maybe it was one of the things in my head).
Nice little cut-off at the end, hard to imagine this all being said and done just after a bit of foreplay, but still, well done. Just the right words to bring doubt.
The picture reminds me of some kind of epic showdown.
Odd place for it to cut off at the end- Did you mean to publish it at this point? Either way, a solid chapter, and one I am really interested in.
727064
Hey,
Yes. I realised that a lot of boring waffle could follow that sentence, but I think it's better that it doesn't. I'll admit that I didn't think about the possibility it could be seen as a mistake, or I'd have put in an additional scene break to end the chapter.
JMH
Fourth, and good story
490190 O.o YOU!! again we meet!! >.<
This story is like a horror story, I'm constantly worried for Trixies sake and their relationship is SO eff'ing messed! It's just so freaking weird! I love this story.
Although I find Trixies willingness to accept "Altertrixie" a bit much at times. Surely the "oh its like that in my world" excuse would wear thin after a while.
I am bewildered.
But I do really feel sorry for Real!Trixie. From her POV, she'll just betray herself and then she'll have literally nothing.
I hope this is one of those stories that end happily. I know Chrysalis isn't really all that caring, but I hope somewhere, deep down in what hopefully is somewhat of a heart, she grows fond of Trixie and loves her not to feed, but to actually love.
Anyway, great story.
I love this, soo much.
It probably won't have a happy ending, unless someone else helps Trixie to.. find peace and love.
Chrysalis can't love, I'm sure, her character is so well played here!
Like Sinisteed, it just feels like a non-pony.
731780
Um, maybe? What's FO:E stand for?
JMH
732193
I was thinking of the wrong thing. Too many stories .
Uhm... Wait, I got this, hold on. OH! Romance Reports. Yes?
Yes.
Ok, not entirely retarded.
732438
Will you explode twice?
I've not read Fallout:Equestria, or played Fallout, but this stuff's in the Zeitgeist, so I could be ripping off another fiction that's referencing FO:E, or I could be referencing some meme out of Fallout itself. What's the specific line?
Edit: I've read Romance Reports, so it can surely be an influence - especially if you're thinking of the bit where Trixie breaks down, because, yes, I see the similarities there. It wasn't ripped off directly, however - I hadn't read Romance Reports for months when I was writing this chapter (although, strangely, I was put in mind of it yesterday, and read a little today, so maybe it was one of the things in my head).
JMH
this is tense
Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible
JMH
Uhm. You probably want to remove one of these "to teach"
1597234
Thank you! How did you like the story otherwise, if you don't mind my asking?
JoE
Nice little cut-off at the end, hard to imagine this all being said and done just after a bit of foreplay, but still, well done. Just the right words to bring doubt.