This is Nacho Mama's Club...
“Rarity, what kind of club did you say this place was?” Sonata said as she stared up at the odd building before the trio. “It seems… different.”
The wide, two-story structure was built of plain red brick, but the first floor featured a long row of closely-spaced, tinted plate-glass windows just a touch too dark to give away any real interior detail. Smack in the middle of the building a rainbow-colored awning that declared the establishment to be named MacMaren’s hung above a set of double doors flanked by a pair of well-muscled men in matching, pristine white suits.
As the girls watched the doors opened, releasing the telltale piano and old-style synth of a disco-pop song into the street. A pair of young men with vibrant hair and skin tones, their arms about each others’ shoulders, emerged and strode off together, alternating between hushed words meant only for themselves and buoyant, echoing laughter in the otherwise quiet Canterlot night.
“You’re quite astute,” Rarity chimed in, her designer heels clicking against the pavement as she tugged the hem of her sequined, baby-blue minidress down a bit further over her black leggings. “MacMaren’s is, in truth, much more than a simple dance club. It is a gathering place for those weary of the mindless modern ‘music’ of today’s internet-fed youth and their incessant quest for deafness, but it’s also so much more than that.” She continued on, her eyes starting to glimmer as she spread her arms before the entrance.
“This is a place of expression; a mecca for Canterlot’s finest artistes, from designers such as myself to musicians and poets, forward-thinkers and free spirits who refuse to let society dictate their tastes, be it for fashion, art, entertainment, the lifestyle they lead or the company they choose to keep!”
“Wow,” Sonata said breathlessly as her wide eyes took in the club with a new light, “and here I thought it was just a gay bar.”
Rarity cleared her throat quietly. “Yes, well, among other things I suppose one could technically refer to it as a ‘gay bar’,” she huffed, complete with a set of air quotes. “Regardless, we should be able to secure you girls a ride to Ponyville here.” She paused, lips twisting into a confused, pensive frown. “Suddenly that statement strikes me as being a little ironic.”
“Aww yea! Sounds ‘aight to me, homeslice!” Pinkie said. Rarity’s frown deepened into a scowl.
“Would you puh-lease stop talking like that?”
“Whatchu mean, dawg?” Pinkie asked, crossing her arms and bending her fingers into some strange form of pseudo sign language. She was wearing a set of baggy black pants, high-top sneakers that had gone out of style before she had even been born, and a bulky blue hoodie. A heavy gold chain with a blinged-out stopwatch and a wide-brimmed black hat finished off her chosen ‘clubbing’ outfit. “I’m jus’ keepin’ it real, yo; ya gotta repr’zent!”
Rarity fixed her with a simmering stare, causing the pink girl to grin awkwardly.
“Hehe… I can try to tone it down a notch or two.”
“But how are we gonna get in?” Sonata frowned as she played with the studded bangles on her wrists, the only items she had kept from her usual attire aside from the black strap where her pendant had previously hung. “I mean, I’m way old enough to drink, but I don’t exactly look it, y’know?” She had traded the rest of her outfit for a simple but tight-fitting black t-shirt with a stylized blue treble clef front and center, a pair of lavender capri pants, and dark purple pumps that added a few inches and gave the impression that she was actually the tallest of the three girls.
“Leave that to me, darlings,” Rarity said with a flourish. Pinkie and Sonata fell into step behind the fashionista as she strode right up to the club’s doormen, one of whom the girls recognized as a classmate from Canterlot High. He smiled when he saw them approach; his blue-skinned partner merely watched with a dispassionate frown, which looked all the more intimidating half-hidden behind his large nose-ring.
“Hello Bulk, hello Iron,” she greeted them in turn with familiar ease. “Have enough room for three more tonight?”
“The boss says there’s always room for you, Miss Rarity,” Bulk Biceps replied. “You here to see him?”
“Indeed I am,” she answered with a nod, “I’m hoping to call in that little favor he owes me.”
“He’s workin’ the bar in the back, like usual,” the blue-skinned man’s voice rumbled as he crossed his beefy arms and turned his attention from Rarity to the girls behind her, “but don’t get any funny ideas. Boss’ guests or not, we don’t serve alcohol to minors. If you want a drink, you better stop and think!”
“YEAH!!” Bulk shouted and flexed, his jacket nearly tearing from the strain. His cheeks swiftly reddened when he saw the girls’ startled expressions. “Uh, sorry.”
Rarity laughed awkwardly as she led the others forward. “Duly noted, as always. You two take care now!” Sonata and Pinkie offered the bouncer duo smiles and waves, and in Pinkie’s case a small cupcake. Once the girls were inside, the Bulk held up his prize and took a bite.
“See?” he said to his stone-faced partner. “Ya gotta be friendly, man.”
“Shut up and give Iron Will a piece.”
With colorful lights dancing and retro-pop pumping, the inside of MacMaren’s was as lively and vibrant as the girls expected. Spreading out before them was a single, expansive room packed with laughing, chatting patrons filling a variety of modern-style tables, booths, and what even looked like a wide waterbed with no fewer than six individuals with drinks in hand reclining comfortably on its pillow-strewn surface. The right wall of the room was dominated by a full-size stage with its royal purple velvet curtains currently drawn, and in front of it was a sizable dance floor--complete with the obligatory spinning discoball high above--that was currently unoccupied.
“It’s… it’s beautiful,” Pinkie breathed with wide, sparkling eyes. “Rares, Sonni-D, with you two as my witnessessez, I Pinkie Promise-no! I swear on my autographed, first-edition copy of The Art of Fun that one day I, Pinkamena Diane Pie, will throw the world’s most stupendifferous, spectaculamazing party in this… very… room!”
“Ooh, can I make the fruit punch?” Sonata asked, dancing in place. “Don’t listen to what Aria says; I’m really good at fruit punch!”
“Deal,” Pinkie said, sealing the bargain with Sonata via fist bump, complete with finger flourish and pretend explosion sounds.
“Come along, girls,” Rarity beckoned them as she began to weave through the sea of tables and booths toward the long, polished bar at the back. Most of the seats were taken, but luckily there were a trio of unoccupied stools near where a lone man wearing a sleeveless white shirt was tending bar, his back to them as he quickly and efficiently mixed an entire tray full of drinks with seemingly little effort. From his swaying hips to the bobbing, flamboyantly-orange hair on his head, his whole body moved in time with the music. His muscled purple arms, bare save for white cuffs at each wrist, danced across the bottles and tumblers as he worked, filling glass after glass in serpentine, fluid motions.
Rarity slid herself up to the bar, resting an elbow on it and her chin in her own hand as Pinkie and Sonata took the stools to either side. After a moment, she politely cleared her throat. The bartender’s head snapped up even as his hands finished the last of the drinks as if on autopilot..
“Well, well, look who it is,” he said without turning around. “If it isn’t the Teenage Queen of Fashion herself.”
“Come now, Mister Magnet, flattery will get you nowhere,” Rarity rolled her eyes and sighed in mock annoyance. “Far be it from me to stop you, however; please continue.” The bartender spun to face them, revealing a long fu-manchu moustache that matched his coiffure perfectly and hung low to frame a black bowtie, but was not big enough to hide the sparkling white smile on the man’s face as he threw his arms wide.
“Rarity!”
“Steven!” Rarity echoed as they both leaned forward, taking each other by the shoulders and kissing the the air on either side of the other’s face in a grand display.
“I haven’t seen you in weeks!” Steven pushed her back to arms’ length and shook his head. “You look fabulous! How have you been?”
“Oh, you know how it is,” she waved her hand vaguely. “The work of a fashionista is never done.”
“I’ll say! Rarity’s always super-busy!” Pinkie said, bouncing up next to the pair. “As if going to high school, running your own business, and being in a rock band wasn’t enough, now we’re also two-for-two in defending the world from interdimensional aliens!” She turned to Sonata with a suddenly serious face. “No offense.”
Halfway across town, a certain individual sat bolt upright from a dead sleep and sneezed loudly. She sniffed and glanced around her darkened bedroom in confusion, blinking repeatedly as she tried to see through the tousled strands of red and yellow hair that the sudden motion had left dangling in front of her face. After a moment she let out an airy groan and flopped back onto her pillow.
“None taken,” Sonata shrugged.
Steven regarded the two girls. “And who might these young ladies be?”
Rarity’s eyes widened. “Oh! How rude of me! Steven, these are my friends, Pinkie Pie and Sonata Dusk; Pinkie, Sonata, this stylish and handsome fellow is Mister Steven Magnet.”
“Oh, you,” Steven playfully slapped Rarity’s shoulder as she grinned. He looked to both of the other girls with a smile. “Any friend of Rarity’s is a friend of mine! Welcome to MacMaren’s!” He quickly glanced up and snapped his fingers in the direction of a pair of waiters, both dressed in sleeveless shirts like his own, who collected the drink trays Steven had mixed and carried them off to the various customers who had ordered them. “Now, to what do I owe the pleasure?”
“We’re on a taco run!” Sonata said, while Pinkie beamed and nodded. Steven stared at them for a moment, blinking.
“Beg pardon?”
“Hm, perhaps I should explain,” Rarity said, lacing her fingers on the bar in front of her. “Earlier this evening there were some… events that unfolded rather poorly for Sonata and her friends. She had planned on trying to cheer them up by bringing home her favorite takeout, but she and Pinkie have been having a bit of a rough go of it.”
Steven shook his head and gestured to a set of double doors to the right of the bar. “Well, I’d love to help, but I haven’t even bothered restocking the kitchen since Gustave quit.”
“Actually, I was thinking of something a bit different,” Rarity said. “You still live out near Ponyville, yes? Perhaps you’d be willing to give Pinkie and Sonata a lift to the Taco Bell there once you close up for the evening?” She flashed him a sly grin. “I’d be willing to consider this as that favor you owe me after last year’s... incident.”
“Hmm…” Steven slowly stroked his moustache as he eyed the girls in question, who flashed him a pair of too-innocent smiles. He let out a prolonged sigh. “I’m sorry, ladies, but I’m afraid I still don’t think I’ll be able to help.” Pinkie and Sonata visibly deflated, accompanied by a thin, squeaky sound reminiscent of air escaping a balloon.
“Why ever not, darling?” Rarity pouted.
“Well, I don’t have a problem giving you girls a ride, but I’d been planning on just crashing at Iron’s place after closing up instead of heading home. At the rate things are going I’ll need to stay open all night if I want to even come close to breaking even.”
“Whaddya mean?” Pinkie asked as she looked around the populated club, “This place seems pretty jumpin’ to me!”
“I don’t see anybody jumping,” Sonata cocked her head to the side. Pinkie giggled and Rarity rolled her eyes, but Steven just smiled and shook his head.
“It’s just an expression, honey.”
“Oh!” Sonata breathed. “Phew! I was worried; those people on the bed would probably get in trouble otherwise.”
Steven lifted one orange-crested brow and twirled the end of his moustache between his fingers. “Anyway, sure, it looks good in here now, but I had live entertainment billed for tonight, and then they went and cancelled on me!”
“How rude!” Rarity scoffed, and Steven nodded his head vigorously.
“Oh, I know, I know! I got a call twenty minutes before she was supposed to show up claiming that she couldn’t make it due to breaking an ankle falling off the back of an outdoor auditorium, or somethingorother,” he said, turning around to wipe down the space he had been mixing drinks. “Puh-lease, you’d think that for someone claiming to be the world’s greatest and most powerful magician she would at least be able to come up with a better excuse than that.”
Rarity and Pinkie winced and exchanged pained looks. Sonata just stared straight ahead with a perfectly vapid expression.
“Anyway, the magic show everyone came to see was supposed to start half an hour ago!” Steven continued. “I managed to keep most of the crowd in their seats with a complimentary round of drinks, but now they’re starting to trickle out and I simply don’t know what else to do!” With his last admission, his voice broke and his shoulders began to heave in overly exaggerated sobs.
“Um,” Pinkie furrowed her brow, “is he ok?” Rarity nodded softly and sighed.
“Yes, this is sort of his ‘thing’, as t’were.” She handed her small clutch bag to Pinkie and made her way around the closer end of the bar, placing both hands on Steven’s back and rubbing gently. “There there, Steven, everything will be all right. One evening of poor sales is hardly reason to fret. Why, Carousel Boutique once went an entire week with only the sale of a few coats and a pair of custom handbags! A few nights from now you’ll be back in the black and will have forgotten that this night even happened.”
Remarkably, Steven’s shaking subsided, and as he turned Rarity offered him a silk handkerchief to dry his tears. “Yes, you’re right… thank you Rarity, you always know just what to say.” He leaned in and enveloped her in a heartfelt hug which she happily returned.
“Wow,” Sonata whispered to Pinkie, “she’s good.”
“You’re quite welcome,” Rarity said, “though I am sorry, girls, but it looks like we’ll need to find some other way to get you to Pony...ville…” She trailed off, her forehead knitting in concentration for an instant and drawing confused looks from the others before she leaped back from Steven’s embrace with an excited glint in her eyes.
“IDEAAAAAA~!” she exclaimed, positively hopping in place. “Steven, do you still have that karaoke machine? The one with more than one microphone?” He nodded.
“Sure, we use it every Tuesday.”
“Then I think I may have just the solution to both our problems,” Rarity grinned even wider, making a sweeping gesture that included all three girls. “We’ll be this evening’s entertainment!”
“Say whaaaaaat?!” Pinkie shouted, while Sonata merely frowned in further confusion.
“You three?” Steven nervously tugged at the ends of his moustache.
“Oh, don’t sound so concerned, Steven,” Rarity chided. “We may not have our instruments, but Pinkie and I are both quite musically inclined, and Sonata--w-well, Sonata has years of singing experience!”
“A lot of years!” Pinkie stage-whispered to Steven as she leaned across the bar.
“Um…” Sonata started to speak.
“Just think of it!” Rarity said, pulling Steven abruptly to her side as she waved a hand across the room full of patrons. “We’ll be your entertainment, all these paying customers will be happy, and you’ll be able to close in plenty of time to give Pinkie and Sonata a ride to Ponyville! It’s perfect!”
“Uh, I kinda-”
“That’s a great plan, Rarity!” Pinkie squeed, her thuggish outfit even more out of place as she jumped up and down. “It’ll be like a party, and there ain’t no party like a Pinkie Pie par-TAY!”
“Guys, I don’t think that-”
“Well, when you put it that way, how could I refuse?” Steven grinned. “Very well, ladies! You’ve got yourselves a dea-”
“HEY!”
The sudden outburst turned all heads to Sonata, who blushed a little at the attention.
“Um… there’s kind of a little problem with this plan,” she said, her hands clutching one another near the base of her neck. “I can’t sing anymore.”
“Oh dear... that is a bit of a problem,” Rarity put a finger to her cheek in thought.
“That’s ok, Sonni!” Pinkie said. “Rares and I can do all the singing and you can just lip sync if you want to!”
“I… I still don’t really like this idea,” Sonata backed a step away from the others, finding sudden interest in looking at anything but their faces. “Can’t we, like, just tell some jokes or something?”
“Nonsense, darling!” Rarity waved her off. “Pinkie is right, and remember it’s just karaoke; terrible singing is practically en vogue, so if you decide you want to join in you certainly can.”
“T-terrible?” Sonata squeaked, taking another step back as her lower lip started to quiver. Rarity’s eyes widened.
“Oh! No darling, I didn’t mean-!” she cut herself off as Sonata whirled around, tears falling from her eyes, and made a hurried dash out of the club, nearly knocking over a waiter and several other people on the way.
“Sonata!” Pinkie called after her, but the Siren was already beyond hearing her. She shot an awkward frown back at Rarity before giving chase, leaving the crestfallen fashionista behind.
“Ooooh, my,” Steven said in a low voice, placing a comforting hand on Rarity’s shoulder as she slumped forward to rest her elbows on the bar with a sigh.
“Yes,” she frowned, “‘oh my’, indeed.”
Admit it; for a split-second you thought it was finally Sunset's turn! 
Rarity and Sonata's 'clubbing' outfits were inspired by the awesome artwork of SkyCatcherEquestria and kimpossiblelove, respectively. Pinkie Pie... well, you know, 
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Glad to see you back! Anywho, are there any references here? I didn't notice any, but I'd like to know if I have something to look for... If there are, don't tell me what they are, Imma look for them...
Nice going, Rarity. Don't you remember how you and your friend stole away Sonata's special talent?
Fix it! Fix it! Fix it!
Great to have ya back!
Bulk Biceps and Iron Will working as bouncers at a gay bar... seems legit!
5922876
There are always references... always,
5923009
Completely un-possible!
5924608 and 5922876 again...
I dun get it; where did I go?
5926380 You took long to update so... yeah... Imma look for the references now!
-Nacho Mama's restaurant?
-McMaren's pub?
-Steven Magnet's debt from season 1?
5926414
Eh, that's just me. I've got about nine hobbies at any given time so I don't churn out updates very fast. Most of the time,
McMaren's pub is a reference, but to what?
The Nacho Mama thing has probably been used a lot of places; my wife and I ran a guild in an old MMO that we called 'Nacho Mama's Guild', but I'm sure I'm not the first person to make that joke.
And yes, Rarity is alluding to 'the Moustache Incident', but there also something Steven does that I'm honestly surprised that no one has called out yet,
Don't worry, Iron Will. One day you'll truly grasp what it means to be friendly. ... Except never do, because you amuse me so much just the way you are.
I'm a bit confused on how being the entertainment for the night will lead to tacos, but I've learned not to question Rarity and she seems to think it'll help. Shame she also not so subtly reminded Sonata of the whole reason she's on this run in the first place. Open mouth, insert foot, eh Rares?
A great update! I do so enjoy how you manage to balance out the humor of Sonata and Pinkie being, well, Sonata and Pinkie, with the under-running current that despite what she claims, Sonata really isn't all right.
I need to go there!
#BohemianLifestyle
5930177
You make a good point tho, I wonder if the explanation of Rarity's plan wasn't clear enough... the basic idea is that without any live entertainment, the customers are going to start leaving (instead of staying and buying more drinks) and Steven is going to need to stay open late to make up for the lost revenue. Rarity figures that if they perform, it will keep the customers happy and in their seats, so Steven will be able to close on-time and give the girls a ride to Ponyville after. Maybe I need to re-work some of the dialogue to make that clearer... hmm...
Thanks!
5933222
Me too; this place sounds awesome!
Wow, where to start? Silly me, I thought that this night was starting to move towards its thrilling conclusion, but this night has only truly begun! The cameo from Iron Will, the fact that Rarity would frequent this establishment (and the relationship she has developed with Steven), and Trixie's broken ankle all cracked me up! But, the true haymakers (pun intentional) were the brief appearance from Ms. "None Taken" and the realization that even with a broken voice, Sonata is probably still a better karaoke singer than just about anyone in the club.
Riotous! Priceless! Which means that the appearance of one draconequus hilarious is probably coming... Who better to push this over the top into full-fledged bedlam?
Sonata, NUUUU!
Let's be honest, even if Rarity hadn't been there Pinkie still could've made it inside.
images.wikia.com/blazey-da-hedgehog/images/2/2a/Tumblr_m4bwu3jmpQ1qkp5hno1_500.gif
Isn't this like that children's song about the monkeys jumping on the bed?
Oh! MacMaren's is a play off MacLaren's pub from How I Met Your Mother!
Also, dammit Rarity.
Did...Steven go George Takei at the end there? XD
5959421 wait, since when is Pinkie a giraffe?
This club is now part of my headcanon. I'm not even joking.
Oh my sides!
Oh, dear...
Dammit Rarity.
I love the story! After I catch up with this I'm getting back on the monster ride that is "Background Pony"
