> Taco Quest
>  by MrAskAPirate
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> What You Crave
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Ugh, how could this have happened to us? To us!” Adagio Dazzle shouted as she paced back and forth in the dilapidated, ready-to-be condemned townhouse she and her fellow former Sirens had taken refuge in. After their utter defeat at the hands of the Rainbooms earlier in the evening they had tried to return to the luxurious penthouse loft they called home, where it had quickly become apparent that any hold they once had over their landlord had been broken the moment they lost their powers. He'd actually chased them for a good two blocks before they managed to ditch him.

“I know how it happened,” Aria Blaze said with feigned disinterest from her place on the ripped and stained couch as she played idly with the green streak in her purple hair. “It starts with ‘Adagio’ and it ends with ‘Dazzle’.”

Adagio wheeled on the sitting girl, hands planted on her hips and her eyes flaring wide. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know exactly what it means,” Aria said, standing so that they were face to face as she jabbed an accusing finger at Adagio. “It was your plan and it failed, so it’s your fault!”

“Oh, you think you can do better?” Adagio spread her arms wide. “Please, tell me what you would have done differently! Tell me what secret scheme you had for overcoming what was hands-down the most powerful magic force any of us has ever seen before?”

Aria’s mouth worked up and down, but what little sound came forth was scattered and disjointed. “I would’ve… I could have… um…”

“That’s what I thought,” Adagio said with a smirk as she lifted the underside of Aria’s chin with her finger.

“Shut up!” Aria swatted the other girl’s hand away. “It’s still your fault that we even got involved; if you hadn’t convinced us to try to take the Rainbooms’ magic at least we’d still have our powers!”

“You were the one complaining about how miserable you were feeding on this world’s scraps, idiot!”

“Scraps are better than nothing, moron!”

“Girls! Girls, stop fighting, please!” Sonata Dusk said, trying to force herself between her two shouting friends. “It’s no biggie! Everybody just chill out for a sec, take a deep breath and slowly count to ten. Like this.” She closed her eyes and proceeded to demonstrate. “In…. and out… better?” After another moment of silence she opened one eye to find both Adagio and Aria glaring at her, and frowned. “Not better?”

Adagio let out a sigh and massaged the bridge of her nose, while Aria shook her head.

“Sonata… you are the worst.”

“Nuh-uh! You are!” came Sonata’s indignant and predictable response.

“No, Aria is right,” Adagio said. “You really are the worst Sonata. Do you know why?”

Sonata’s eyes widened at Adagio as she shifted from side to side nervously. “N-no…”

“It’s because you don’t even understand how serious this is.” The orange-haired girl rounded on her, taking slow steps forward as she spoke and forcing Sonata to back away. “We’ve lost our powers. We can no longer feed on negative energy, and that means we can no longer use magic. If we can’t use magic, we can’t make these pathetic slugs do what we want, and that means from this point on we’re going to have to live just like them!”

Sonata’s back met the wall and she could retreat no further, but Adagio moved right up to her face, only inches apart as she continued. “We’re going to be living among these magicless, low-brow, thick-as-mud humans, as…” her voice fell, “... as equals.” She stepped away from Sonata and plopped down heavily on the couch, staring off into space with a vacant yet somewhat terrified expression.

“Well… maybe it, um, won’t be so bad?” Sonata offered cautiously. “I mean, there’s a bright side to everything, right? All we have to do is find it!”

“A bright side? A bright side?!” Adagio sprung to her feet, their noses practically touching as she backed Sonata into the wall again. She raised her arm, causing Sonata to cringe, but instead of striking her Adagio smirked. “Actually, you know what? That’s not a bad idea,” she crooned.

Sonata managed a weak smile. “It isn’t?”

Aria’s jaw fell open. “It isn’t?!”

“Sure,” Adagio said sweetly as she took Sonata by the shoulder and led her toward the front door, opening and gently guiding her through it. “Tell you what: how about you go out and look for the bright side to all of this, and when you find it come back and tell Aria and I all about it? I’m sure that’ll solve all our problems and make everything all better.”

Sonata beamed and did a little dance on the front stoop. “For realsies?!”

“NO!” Adagio barked, slamming the door shut and locking it, leaving Sonata standing outside in the cool night breeze.

“... Wait, now I’m confused.”







Sonata sighed to the rusty tin can she was kicking along the sidewalk in front of her. She’d been circling the block for the past few minutes, after Adagio and Aria had staunchly refused to let her back inside.

“Maybe Adagio’s right,” she spoke softly. “Maybe there isn’t a bright side to this after all. I mean, it’s nighttime; shouldn’t it be, like, really easy to find something bright when it’s this dark?”

Her musings were interrupted as a particularly strong gust of wind blew a discarded flyer into her face. She struggled with the offending newsprint for a moment before pulling it off and holding it at arm’s length to get a better look. She was just about to toss the paper away when it caught her attention.

She stared, her eyes growing wider with every word she read as her mouth fell open in a humongous grin.

“Bright side!!”







The pounding on the door was more insistent than before, and Adagio could hear Sonata calling out from the other side long before she opened it. The excited girl nearly fell into the house as soon as she no longer had something to hammer her fists against.

“What?!” Adagio snapped as Sonata regained her composure and began bouncing up and down.

“Adagio! I found it, I found it!” She stopped hopping and took on a more pensive look. “Or maybe it found me?”

Adagio pressed her fingers to her temples in a vain attempt to ward off a headache as Aria came around the corner to see what the commotion was. “What are you talking about?”

“The bright side! I found the bright side you told me to look for!” She held up the flyer, which Adagio regarded with a raised eyebrow as she took it and glanced over the many advertisements and coupons.

“Oookay… what exactly am I looking at?”

“Right here!” Sonata pointed. “Tonight is Free Taco night at Taco Bell! Isn’t that perfect? What are the odds that we’d end up broke and powerless on the one night that we can still get free tacos? It’s, like, a sign or something!”

Adagio ground her teeth and slowly looked up from the flyer as Aria peeked over her shoulder. Sonata’s wide grin started to fade as the two stared her down.

“Are you guys not in the mood for tacos?”







Sonata sailed through the air with the grace of a drunken pelican before landing unceremoniously on a pile of plastic trash bags on the sidewalk. She blew a lock of her own hair from her face, and from her upside-down vantage watched as Adagio crumpled up the flyer and tossed it into the pile as well. It struck her lightly on the nose before rolling away.

“Here’s an idea: try coming back when you have a clue!!” Adagio yelled before slamming the door once again.

“A clue? But I thought I was looking for a bright side?” Sonata grumbled. With some effort, she managed to roll herself off the trash pile and into a cross-legged sitting position on the ground, and placed her head in her hands with a sigh. The breeze rustled the wrinkled flyer, and she once again picked it up, unfurling the page to gaze longingly at the crispy, zesty, salsa-y goodness it promised. Her stomach growled.

“Yeah, me too,” she sighed again. After a moment she furrowed her brow and sat up a little straighter. “Waitaminute… just because Adagio and Aria don’t want to go get tacos doesn’t mean I can’t.” She perked up and became more and more excited as she continued. “I can totes go down to Taco Bell on my own! And I bet if I tell them how sad my friends are and ask really nicely they’ll let me bring some back for Adagio and Aria, and then they’ll eat them and it’ll taste sooo good; they’ll feel better and we’ll be happy and everything will be okay again!!”

Sonata leaped to her feet, punching the air in excitement. She turned and placed her hands on her hips, looking toward the direction of the town’s busy and well-lit downtown commercial district.

“Watch out Canterlot; Sonata Dusk is going on a taco run!”







Halfway across town, a particular pink-loving party planner was just snuggling into her warm, soft bed, thoughts of her friends and the amazing day they’d shared promising sweet dreams and a bright future.

She suddenly sat bolt upright, her wide eyes crossing to focus on the single lock of hair that dangled in front of her face as it twitched and wobbled with a will of it’s own. It stopped as abruptly as it had begun, and her eyes narrowed maniacally as a wide, excited grin blossomed.

“Tacos…”

> Yo Quiero Amistad
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maud Pie sat at the center island in the Pie Family’s kitchen, crunching away on a bowl of Fruity Pebbles. She paused, noticing that her pet rock Boulder had nearly finished his own cereal.

“More?” she asked before pouring him another heaping helping. “You’re welcome.”

A rapid-fire thumping issued forth from the stairwell, and a split-second later a pink blur burst into the kitchen. It darted around the room, opening and closing cabinets and drawers and tossing an array of things that included--but was not limited to-- spare balloons, rolls of streamers, at least two rubber chickens, a bowl of mixed Halloween candy from two years ago, and an assortment of fake mustaches into a bag it carried.

“Hi Maud! Hi Boulder! Wow that’s a lot of cereal! Sorry I can’t stay and talk; my Pinkie Sense just went off and I think it means that someone really really wants tacos, and I’m pretty sure it must be important or else why would my Pinkie Sense even have gone off, you know? So anyway I’m gonna head out now and look for them so I can help, but also because I kind of want tacos too now and you know how hard it is for me to sleep when I’m snacky! I’ll be back late so don’t wait up! Oh, also please tell Mom and Dad that everything will be fine and I’ll be extra-super-mega careful and that it won’t be like last time with the police and the giant inflatable aardvark. Oh, and I already fed Gummy so don’t worry about him. Thanks Maud, you’re the best sister ever! I’ll see you tomorrow, have a good night! You too Boulder!”

Pinkie’s mile-a-minute spew of something akin to words continued unabated until she threw open and vanished out the door. Maud and Boulder sat in silence, save for the slight creaking of the overhead lights that had been stirred by the rushing vortex of wind left in her wake. An instant later Pinkie burst back into the room and opened the refrigerator.

“Whoops! Almost forgot the whipped cream!” She said as she snapped up a single can before bolting again. Maud blinked a couple of times before she and Boulder calmly continued their late-night snack.

“Ok. Have fun.”







“But what do you mean I can’t get on?” Sonata pouted. “My friends and I ride the bus all the time!”

“Look honey, the fare’s a dollar--has been for years,” the public bus driver explained again. “Are you sure that you and your friends don’t have commuter’s passes?”

Sonata shook her head with a frown. “We usually just sing a little whenever we need to go someplace.”

The driver stared at her blankly. “Unless you have a pass, you gotta pay to ride like everybody else. Are you gettin’ on or not?”

Sonata turned out her pockets and even took off one of her pink boots, turning it over and tapping the sole, but her efforts produced nothing but lint and an old gum wrapper. The driver looked unimpressed, and Sonata sighed as she slipped her boot back on. 

“I guess I’m not.” She stepped back onto the curb just in time to avoid being hit by the door as it snapped closed, and the bus sped away leaving in its wake a cloud of exhaust that set off a minor coughing fit. “Wow, rude much?” Her frustration with the bus driver was short-lived, as the new irritation in her throat reminded her far too much of how it had felt earlier in the evening, after she and her fellow Sirens were hit by the Rainbooms’ magic.

Sonata shook her head vigorously and lightly clapped both hands to her cheeks. “No! No moping allowed while on a taco run!” She turned and began what was sure to be a long, tiring walk to downtown, but did not let that discourage her. “Everything will totally be worth it once I get my hands on those crunchy, meaty, spicy tex-mex delights, and with the world as my witness, I won’t let anything stop me until I get my tacos!”

“That’s the spirit!”

Sonata spun back around and found herself nose to nose with Pinkie Pie’s grinning face.

“Hi!!”

“UWAUGH!!” Sonata half-leaped, half-stumbled backwards. “Where’d you come from?!”

“My house, silly! Where else would I be this late at night?” Pinkie replied. “Oh, well aside from going on a taco run. Or at a sleepover. Or saving the world from an ancient evil from another dimension by playing a wicked rock song with my friends, or… actually, I guess there’s a lot of things I could be doing at night, huh?”

“Um… I guess?” Sonata raised an eyebrow. Pinkie continued to stare at her and smile before suddenly gasping and leaping into the air. 

“Omigosh, we’ve never really actually met face-to-face before!” She darted over and started shaking Sonata’s hand vigorously. “I’m Pinkie Pie; what’s your name?”

“Sonata Dusk! Nice to meet you!” the former Siren beamed, but her expression quickly grew confused. “Wait a sec, you’re one of the Rainbooms, right? Aren’t we, like, enemies or something?”

“Yupperooni! But like Grammy Pie says, you should never let a little thing like world domination stop you from making new friends,” Pinkie stated with an affirming nod. Sonata’s eyes widened hopefully.

“For… for realsies?” she asked, her voice trembling. “You really want to be my friend? Even after all the mean things we did to you?”

“Pffffssssh!” Pinkie gave a dismissive wave. “You girls caused trouble for what, like two days? Sunset Shimmer spent years wrecking our lives, and now she’s in our band! You and me? We’re gonna be besties by the end of the night!”

Tears of joy gathered at the corners of Sonata’s eyes as she leaped forward and wrapped Pinkie in a tight hug. “Omigosh! I’ve never had a real friend before! I mean, aside from Adagio and Aria, but they’re sorta more like, sisters or something.”

Pinkie Pie’s eyes bulged out slightly as she made a squeaking noise from Sonata’s surprisingly strong hug. “Where are your friends, anyway? Aren’t you three always together?”

“They’re back at an abandoned house, hiding,” Sonata released her grip and pointed over her shoulder with her thumb. “Adagio and Aria are really upset about the whole losing our powers thing. I wanted to cheer them up by bringing them some tacos, but I couldn’t get a ride on the bus so now I have to walk all the way to Taco Bell for Free Taco night.”

Pinkie sidled up to Sonata and threw an arm around her shoulders. “Not if your new friend Pinkie Pie has anything to say about it! You just sit back and leave everything to me, Sonni-D! I Pinkie Promise that we’re gonna get you those tacos or wind up in jail trying!”



~~9 Hours Later~~



Pinkie Pie and Sonata Dusk, sitting side by side on an uncomfortable metal bench with their hands on their laps, both flinched slightly as the policeman slammed the door of their cell closed. He gave them both one last disapproving growl and stalked off, leaving the girls to stare vacantly at the opposite wall in silence. They were filthy; covered in dirt, soot, some refried beans, and even a little bit of cake frosting. Their hair was singed and in shambles, their clothes ripped in a number of places, and they sported no shortage of bruises and scrapes.

Gingerly, Pinkie reached up and into her hair, fishing around for a moment before pulling forth a slightly squashed cupcake. She offered the treat to Sonata, who shook her head slightly without even looking. Pinkie shrugged, taking a bite of it herself, and sighed.

“Well… I was right about one thing.”

> When You Believe in Magic...
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I don’t get it,” Sonata shook her head in disbelief as she stared at the cold, grey cell wall. “All I wanted to do was get some tacos. Why did it end up like this?”

“Well,” Pinkie said, gently rubbing the side of her neck, “I’m still a little fuzzy on what happened between getting chased out of MacMaren’s and the fire, but I think it all started when…



~~8 hours and 59 minutes ago~~



“So how’re we gonna get downtown?” Sonata asked. In response, Pinkie pulled her phone out of her pocket and twirled it on the end of her finger as if she were a Globetrotter spinning a basketball.

“Liiiiike this!” She said as she hit a speed dial option and held it up to her ear.







At first she just ignored it.

She didn’t give her number out to very many people, so whoever was on the other end of the ringing cell phone on her nightstand probably knew full well that she was an ‘early to bed, early to rise’ type of person. After a few more rings, the device went silent as the caller was sent to voicemail. She sighed with relief, turning over to get comfortable, and had just settled in when the phone started ringing again.

With a huff of irritation, her arm snapped out, knocking a small lamp from the nightstand and onto the carpeted floor with a ‘thunk’ before she managed to close her fingers around the phone and draw it under the covers with her.

“Hello?” she said with a profound yawn. “Pinkie? What’re you doin’ callin’ me at… wait, slow down, what?” 

There was a brief pause as she listened, but a moment later Applejack sat straight up in her bed, covers falling away to reveal a messy tussle of long blonde hair and a face that was suddenly wide awake.

“You’re goin’ where with who?”







“See?” Pinkie grinned to Sonata as Applejack’s aging red pickup truck pulled up about fifteen minutes later. “Toldja she’d come!”

“Well what else was I s’posed to do?” Applejack asked as she stepped out of the truck and shut the door. “You call me up in the middle of the night askin’ fer a ride, and then tell me you’re in the worst part of town hangin’ out with… one of them.” Sonata inched behind Pinkie Pie as Applejack fixed her with a withering stare, but Pinkie herself waved it off.

“Nah, that was the old Sonata; she’s totally different now.”

“It’s only been two hours!” Applejack protested, holding up the clock on her phone for emphasis.

“Duh,” Pinkie rolled her eyes. “Two hours since we blasted her and the other Sirens with the Magic of Friendship the same way we did to Sunset Shimmer, who instantly went from being a mean meanie-pants to a nice nicey-pants, remember?”

Applejack opened her mouth to protest, but stopped short. “Ok, fine, you got a point… but I still don’t trust her. How do we know it ain’t all just an act?”

Pinkie looked over her shoulder at the still-hiding Sonata. “Sonni, tell us the truth: are you evil?” 

The former Siren shook her head. “No, not all the time.”

“Good enough for me!” Pinkie grinned.

Applejack raised an eyebrow. “Fine, but I won’t believe it until I see it. You said somethin’ ‘bout needin’ a ride?”

“Yup! Sonata’s on a taco run to try and cheer up her friends, and I’m going with her! Can you give us a lift?”

“That’s it? Why didn’t y’all just take the bus?”

“I couldn’t get on ‘cause I don’t have any money,” Sonata admitted.

“And Pinkie couldn’t just spot you a buck?”

Pinkie and Sonata’s eyes widened and mouths dropped open as they turned to look at one another, each raising a finger in realization.

“Ugh, nevermind. C’mon, let’s go,” Applejack massaged her temple and turned back to her truck. “I’m already here so I might as well help.”

“YAY!!” Pinkie and Sonata shouted in tandem as they high-fived one another. Applejack shook her head.

“Besides, somebody’s gotta babysit these two,” she muttered under her breath. “Who knows what kinda trouble they’d cause if they just went off on their own?”







Sitting in a CCPD squad car somewhere in downtown Canterlot, Shining Armor yawned for what felt like the fifth time in as many minutes, listening to his police scanner drone on with the usual scattered, inconsequential chatter. It was turning out to be another quiet night, just like always, until his radio spat a burst of static at him, the frequencies distorting into unrecognizable noise. He started playing with the dials, trying to clear up the signal, when it suddenly quieted on its own and a familiar voice came through loud and clear.

“Bookworm to Badge… Badge, come in!”

Shining rolled his eyes and picked up the handset. “Twily, we talked about this, you can’t just go around intercepting police frequencies; it’s against the law and we could both get in big trouble.”

“That’s why we’re supposed to be using codenames, Badge!” the voice shot back. “Besides, I’m not intercepting anything, I’m merely piggybacking the existing signal.”

“Twily…” he warned. A sigh could be heard through the radio.

“Fine, I’m sorry and I promise I won’t do it again unless it’s an emergency,"

“Twily!”

“All right! I won’t do it again, ever! I just really needed to talk to you and your phone is off.”

“That’s because I’m not supposed to take personal calls while on duty, you know that,” he sighed. “What’s wrong?”

“Maybe nothing… maybe everything,” She suddenly sounded very distant and unsure. “Have there been any strange reports tonight? Lights in the sky, unusual sounds, things like that?”

Shining thought for a moment. “No, I don’t think so... there was a noise complaint earlier. Something about some concert getting out of hand, but by the time the nearby officers responded things had apparently calmed down on their own.”

“Where was that?”

“Why? What is this all about?”

“Ugh, will you please just answer the question, Shining?”

“It was from the Starswirl Amphitheater in Canterlot Park.”

The sound of someone typing on a keyboard followed by the shuffling of papers crackled through the radio. “Just as I thought… that’s precisely where the finals of CHS’ Battle of the Bands were being held tonight.”

“A loud rock concert, huh? Never would’ve expected that,” he deadpanned.

“Shining, this is serious business! I recorded a major thaumaturgical disturbance earlier this eve-” 

“Oh, Twily, c’mon, not again,” Shining cringed. “We’ve been over this, there’s no such thing as magic! You’re a super-genius prodigy with an IQ higher than the number of donuts my department goes through in a year; how do you still believe in stuff like this?”

“It has nothing to do with belief, it has to do with empirical evidence and research,” she replied with practiced calm. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have work to do. Good night, Officer Armor.”

Before Shining could reply his radio emitted another burst of high-pitched static that hurt his ears a little, something he was sure had been done intentionally. He sighed as he tossed the handset into the passenger seat.

“Great. Now I have a pissed off little sister to look forward to when I get home. This night is getting really sh-!!”

Shining jumped as a rusted red pickup truck came from behind and flew past just inches from his door, smashing his side mirror clean off and barreling down the street. He looked on in partial shock as the truck swerved, its wheels squealing as the driver narrowly avoided a pedestrian crossing the road before its course evened out and it sped away.

Shining Armor stared at the departing vehicle’s tail lights for a long moment, his heart pounding in his chest. He shook his head and quickly started the car, flipping on his lights and siren in the process.

“So much for a quiet night...”

> Sometimes You've Gotta Break the Rules
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Consarnit Pinkie!!” Applejack half shouted and half panted, tightening her already white-knuckle grip on the steering wheel as she fought to keep her hands from shaking. “What in the Sam Hill do you think yer doin’ coverin’ up somebody’s eyes while they’re drivin’?!”
 
“Well, duh!” Pinkie said from her spot wedged between Sonata and Applejack on the front bench seat of Applejack’s pickup, “We were talking about that family road trip we took to find out if we were related, and you said ‘remember all them fun games we played?’ and I said ‘yeah!’ and then I started listing off all the funnest games like I-Spy and Car Bingo and Pin the Tail on the Pony Travel Edition and Hey It’s That Duck Again and-”
 
“Pinkie!”
 
“So anyway, after that Sonata said ‘I know a fun game called Guess Who’ which was totally awesome because I totally love that game, and then you asked how to play, which made me go-” she paused to gasp loudly, “because I thought everybody knew how to play Guess Who, and instead of just telling you how to play I decided to show you how to play, because it’s way more fun playing a game instead of just hearing about it, right? And then I think was the part where you screamed, and let me tell you, AJ, that was impressive! I hear you sing all the time but never figured you for a soprano, and-”
 
“Alright, alright!” Applejack finally ran out of patience. “Just don’t do it again. Ever!”
 
“Okie dokie lokie!” Pinkie smiled. “You should probably pay attention to the road anyway. Driving while distracted can be dangerous.”
 
Applejack hunched over, grinding her teeth and growling softly as her fingers wrapped even tighter around the steering wheel. A moment passed with thick tension in the air, though if the grinning pink party planner was at all affected she didn’t let it show. It was Sonata who eventually broke the silence.
 
“Did we, like, hit something back there?”
 
“I dunno, did we?” Applejack shot back with a shake of her head. “I was too busy watching my life flash in front of my eyes.”
 
“No, silly, those were my hands!” Pinkie laughed, followed by another surprised gasp. “Unless my hands can tell the future! Applejack, can you read palms?”

Applejack just ignored her.
 
“Well either we hit something, or you’ve always had two side mirrors and I just didn’t notice,” Sonata motioned out the passenger window with a thumb. She grinned suddenly and grew excited. “Also I think there’s one of those rave dances following us!”
 
A horrified and somewhat confused look came over Applejack’s face as she focused not on the pair of mirrors-- one wedged haphazardly between the support struts of the other-- but on the reflection they shared: that of a police SUV, its red and blue lights flashing wildly as it closed in on them from behind. A moment later the siren flared, signaling them to pull over.
 
“Son of a...” Applejack swore under her breath as she flipped on her turn signal and eased off the gas.

“No Applejack, don’t do it!” Pinkie grabbed her friend’s wrist, startling her yet again. “Don’t slow down; that’s how they get you!”

“Of course that’s how they get you, it’s called bein’ pulled over!” Applejack pulled her wrist free and eased the truck onto the side of the road. “Now hold onto your apples and stay quiet; let me handle the talkin’, unnerstand?” Sonata nodded weakly, but Pinkie Pie grew strangely quiet, folding her hands on her lap and staring straight ahead. Applejack raised an eyebrow but a sharp knock on her window jerked her attention away.

“Uh, good evenin’, Officer… Armor, is it?” she said as she rolled the window down and took a quick glance at his badge.

“Evening,” he replied tersely. “License and registration, please.” Applejack fished the appropriate documents out of her wallet and handed them over to Shining, who studied them for a moment. “Do you know why I pulled you over?”

“Don’t suppose I’ve got a tail light out, do I?” she tried to chuckle.

The edge of the Shining’s mouth twitched, but he remained otherwise impassive. “No, your tail lights are fine, but did you happen to notice when you took the mirror right off of my driver’s side door?” Applejack blanched.

“Oh, so that’s where the extra mirror came from!” Sonata said. “I knew I totally would’ve noticed it sooner if it’d been there all along!”

“Shh!” Applejack said, turning back to glare at Sonata. Shining Armor bent forward, unclipping the flashlight from his belt and pointing it into the cabin interior. He regarded the awkwardly smiling Sonata briefly before his gaze settled on the car’s strangely still third occupant, his eyes narrowing slightly.

“Where are you girls headed?”

“Oh, I know this one!” Sonata said, raising her hand excitedly. “We’re going to Taco Bell! It’s free taco night!”

“Uh-huh. And do you think that’s an excuse for reckless driving?”

“Um,” Sonata blinked a couple of times. “Yes?”

Applejack facepalmed. “Look, Officer, I’m real sorry about what happened… Pinkie was messin’ around and things just got a little out of hand.”

He raised an eyebrow at her.

“Ok, a lot out of hand,” she admitted. Shining Armor then motioned to Pinkie.

“Is she ok?”

Applejack turned and noticed how unnaturally quiet Pinkie was being. She was still sitting with her hands folded on her lap, her gaze straight ahead and unwavering. She couldn’t even tell if the normally vibrant girl had blinked this whole time, but she seemed very… tense.

“Uh, yeah,” Applejack finally managed. “Yeah, she’s jus’ fine… well, as much as she ever is, anyway.” She turned back to Shining Armor. “We’re not lookin’ to cause any trouble. I’ll pay for the damages, honest.”

“Yeah, that kinda goes without saying,” he quipped. “Unfortunately it looks like you’re also past inspection.”

“Say what now?” Applejack said as he pointed his light at the sticker on the corner of her windshield. She leaned forward for a better look and frowned. “Dagnabit, Big Mac, you said you was gonna take care of that last month!” As she fumed, Shining Armor clipped his flashlight back to his belt and pulled out a pad of tickets and a pen.

“All right, you seem pretty honest to me. I’m having a bad night but that doesn’t mean you girls have to, so here’s what I’m going to do,” Shining said slowly as he started writing. “You’ll get a bill to pay for the damages, and I’ll let you off with a warning. I do still have to write you up for the inspection, but it’s a non-moving violation; no points on your license and no serious marks on your record. Sound good?”

Applejack took a deep breath and sighed with a faint grin. “Pardner, you got yourself a deal!” Shining Armor smiled.

“You know, I’ve got a sister about your age.”

Applejack and Shining Armor were both too preoccupied to notice that Pinkie Pie was now visibly shaking in her seat.

“Pinkie, are you ok?” Sonata whispered, but she received no response. Pinkie’s face was scrunched up like she was trying to refrain from shouting, and she was starting to emit a high-pitched but very quiet whine. “Hey, I think there might actually be something wrong with Pinkie.”

“You jus’ figurin’ that out?” Applejack shot over her shoulder before turning back to Shining Armor. “Uh, sorry… you were talkin’ about your sister? What’s she like?”

Pinkie now looked like she was positively about to explode. Her whole body was shivering and the sound coming from behind her tightly-sealed lips sounded more and more like some sort of repressed, frustrated scream. Sonata’s eyes were wide as she gently patted Pinkie’s shoulder comfortingly, at a loss for what else to do.

“She’s smart, funny, a bit of an egghead… she doesn’t socialize very much though, so she doesn’t have a lot of friends,” Shining Armor said.

Applejack gave a half-hearted laugh, thinking over the events of the past couple of days. “Boy, I can’t imagine where I’d be without my friends. Best six things that ever happened to me… well, most of the time.”

Shining chuckled. “I hear that.” He ripped the top ticket off of his pad and handed it to Applejack alongside her license and registration card. “Ok, here you go. You girls go enjoy your tacos, and no more demolition derby, ok?”

She moved to take the papers with a smile. “You don’t have to tell me twi-”

“YOU’LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE, COPPERS!!”

Pinkie’s horrifying yell put a ball of ice in Applejack’s stomach the likes of which she would never feel again. 

Before anyone knew what was going on, Pinkie had reached over and put the truck in gear, and a split-second later Applejack yelped in pain as a boot slammed down on top of hers, which in turn mashed the gas pedal to the floor. She was thrown back in her seat as a pair of pink hands grabbed the steering wheel and sent it spinning. The pickup truck’s very frame squealed against the sudden strain of rapid acceleration as it leaped away from the bewildered Shining Armor who was still holding the ticket and Applejack’s paperwork in his hand.

As the truck sped away, Sonata poked her head and arms out the passenger window, wrenching the extra mirror loose.

“You forgot this!” she shouted before winging it towards him with all her might. Shining recovered from his shock just in time to dodge the rogue projectile mirror, and it shattered on the pavement right where he had been standing. “Oopsies!" Sonata's rapidly fading voice called back. "My bad!”

For the second time that night, Shining Armor watched dumbfounded as three girls in a pickup truck sped away from him.

"What the hell was that all about?"

> Think Outside the Fun
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“What in the hell was that all about?!” Applejack shouted at Pinkie as Sonata guided the poofy-haired girl to a nearby bus stop bench. Having finally wrested control of the truck away from the seemingly single-minded and surprisingly strong party planner, Applejack had pulled over onto a side street.

Pinkie did not answer as Sonata sat down beside her; she merely stared straight ahead, her eyes wide and unfocused. 

Applejack furrowed her brow. “I just don’t get you sometimes, Pinkie. I know you’re a little nuts but c’mon now! How can you be so dang irresponsible as to pull a stunt like that? D’you have any idea how much trouble we’re gonna be in now?”

Still, Pinkie Pie said nothing nor acknowledged the other girls’ presence in any way.

“I don’t think she’s listening,” Sonata offered, drawing a glare from AJ, but the farmer’s expression quickly softened.

“Pinkie,” she asked as she kneeled down in front of her friend. “What’s goin’ on, sugarcube? Is everythin’ ok?”

Finally, Pinkie’s lips moved subtly as she whispered something, prompting both Applejack and Sonata to lean in closer.

“Aardvark… inflaaaaaaatable aardvark…”

“Well, I think she’s finally lost it,” Applejack tipped her hat back and planted a hand on her hip.

“What’s an aardvark?” Sonata asked.

“The harbingers of dooooom…” Pinkie whispered ominously, though she remained as vacant as before. Applejack shrugged.

“Some kinda varmint, I think.”

Sonata glanced around. “Pinkie, I don’t think there are any aardvarks here.”

At this, Pinkie turned her gaze to Sonata, the first sign of real awareness she had shown since taking control of the truck. “Are… are you sure? Not even the inflatable kind?”

Sonata laughed and shook her head. “Nope!”

Pinkie’s vision finally focused on the two girls in front of her. She shook her head wildly, her poofy hair flying everywhere and somehow managing to spray Sonata and Applejack with candy sprinkles. The former seemed not to notice; the latter simply took it in stride.

“Hey! What happened?”

“Where should I start?” Applejack said with a scoff. “The part where you made me hit a parked cop car, or the part where you hijacked my truck and wrecked any chance we had of gettin’ outta this with just a slap on the wrist?” Pinkie laughed and shook her head.

“Oh silly, I wouldn’t do that. I don’t even know how to drive!”

“I can tell,” Applejack deadpanned as she crossed her arms and leaned against a nearby lamp post. “Well, in any event I doubt we’re gonna be makin’ it downtown anytime soon… not unless it’s in the back of a police car wearin’ handcuffs, anyway.”

“What?!” Sonata sprang to her feet. “No! What about free taco night?”

“I’m stayin’ right here until that cop catches up to us-- assumin’ of course that he was able to keep up with all the crazy turns Pinkie took-- and when he does all three of us are gonna be down on our hands and knees apologizin’ if we wanna have any chance of not gettin’ in serious trouble here, y’all understand?”

“But, but…” Sonata stammered, her lower lip quivering dangerously.

“Look, I’m sorry,” Applejack shrugged, “but I can’t afford to risk gettin’ thrown in jail or losin’ my license over a late-night craving for somebody who was tryin’ to mind-control the entire school and take over the world just this afternoon.”

“Aww, AJ, that’s mean!” Pinkie pouted. “Besides, Sonni already apologized for all that stuff.” 

Applejack raised an eyebrow. “She did?”

“I did?” Sonata blinked as she sniffed back some budding tears.

“Shh!” Pinkie whispered rather loudly as she clapped a hand over Sonata’s mouth. “Just follow my lead!”

Applejack, having heard every word Pinkie said, frowned. “Look, Pinkie, I know you’re just tryin’ to do your thing and be friends with everybody, but goin’ around pickin’ up strays always ends up the same way: one day you get bit.”

“That’s silly; Fluttershy takes in strays all the time and I’ve never seen any of them bite her,” Pinkie said as she folded her arms behind her back coyly and began rocking back and forth between her heels and the balls of her feet. Applejack blinked.

“Huh… never thought of- wait, no! That ain’t the point!” She gave an exasperated sigh. “What I’m tryin’ to say is that it’s the same thing with how you act all weird and do crazy stuff all the time. We’re almost done with high school for cryin’ out loud, don’t you think you oughtta start bein’ a mite more responsible?” 

“What do you mean?” Pinkie stopped rocking and frowned slightly.

Applejack sighed. “I mean things ain’t so easy and carefree once you’re out of school and fendin’ for yourself. Trust me, I know…” She shook her head and shifted against the lamp post so that she was turned away from the others.  “Mac and I have been in charge of Sweet Apple Acres for a couple of years now, and it’s… it’s hard. I love doin’ it, really I do, but there’s just so much to do and sometimes I feel like it all depends on me. I can’t afford to goof around and be irresponsible, else my whole family might end up payin’ for it, and the weight of that responsibility wears on you somethin’ powerful.

“I don’t know what you and the other girls are plannin’ to do after we graduate; maybe it won’t be quite as bad as I’m thinkin’. Rarity practically runs her own business already so I don’t worry much about her, and Fluttershy’s pretty level-headed when she ain’t hidin’ behind her hair. Who knows what Sunset’s gonna do. You and Rainbow though…” she shook her head. “Well, I just worry about you, that’s all. I don’t want to see you get out into the real world and fall apart because you don’t know when to stop goofin’ around and get serious. We can’t act like kids forever, Pinkie, and sometimes I don’t know if you understand that.”

Neither of the other girls said anything, and Applejack couldn’t help but smile softly, imagining the pensive, somewhat sad look on Pinkie’s face as the apple farmer’s wise words sank in.

“I know we never really found out if we were cousins or not, Pinkie, but that don’t stop me from feelin’ like you’re part of the family. That means I’m responsible for you too. Let’s both do the responsible thing here and face our mistakes like adults; whaddya say?”

There was another protracted silence. Applejack’s eyebrow twitched.

“Pinkie?” she said as she turned.

A rumpled piece of newspaper rolled across the sidewalk in a sudden but stiff breeze that dissipated just as quickly as it had arrived.

Pinkie Pie and Sonata Dusk were nowhere to be seen. Applejack’s shoulders slumped in defeat.

“Consarnit...”







“Are you sure it’s ok that we just sorta left her there like that?” Sonata asked as she and Pinkie Pie turned down another side street, already several blocks distant from where they had stealthily parted company with Applejack. “I mean, I don’t really get some of the stuff she was saying but it sounded important.”

“Nah, s’fine,” Pinkie dismissed Sonata’s worry with a wave. “AJ is super-nice and super-dependable and all, but sometimes she’s just super-not fun. I mean, duh, of course things’ll change after we graduate, and yeah, maybe I will have to learn to be a little more serious, but isn’t that all the more reason to have as much fun as we can now while we’re still young?”

“I’m two thousand, four hundred and thirty-eight.” Sonata said flatly. Pinkie’s eyes bugged out of her skull as her jaw nearly unhinged.

“... Wow. When’s your birthday?”

“Next September.”

Pinkie reached up and pulled a pen and a small pocket calendar from her voluminous hair, opening it to July and scribbling a note. “Place preorder for extra candles...”

“Does… does that mean I’m too old to have fun?” Sonata asked, wringing her ponytail tightly with both hands. “Should I stop?”

“No, silly! Whoever heard of being too old to have fun?” Pinkie laughed, bringing a smile back to Sonata’s face. “And right now, the funnest thing we can do is get you to Taco Bell! Let’s go!”

“Yay!” Sonata clapped excitedly, only to suddenly stop mid-motion. “Um… one question though,” she asked as she and Pinkie both glanced around at streets and buildings that were wholly unfamiliar to either of them.

“Huh,” Pinkie said after a silent moment. “Where the heck are we?”







“Where the heck are they?” Shining Armor mumbled for the fourth time in as many minutes as he drove as quickly as he dared while twisting his head to get a view down each side street he passed. After recovering from the initial shock, he had jumped back into his cruiser and sped after the three girls, keeping up with them well enough at first, but the one who took the wheel must have been some kind of professional street racer or stunt driver, because once he lost sight of them they vanished into the night. The whole thing was so surreal that Shining was starting to wonder if it had even happened or if he’d fallen asleep on duty and dreamt the whole thing.

The missing driver side mirror posthumously reminded him that was not the case.

He pulled over, slamming the gearshift into park and leaning back in his seat as he massaged the bridge of his nose.

“I should just let it go,” he said, but even as the words left his mouth he was rolling his eyes. “No, I can’t, if they hurt themselves or anyone else at this point it’d be just as much my fault as theirs.” He nodded once, reaching for his radio. “Dispatch, car Fifty-one here, over.”

The radio crackled to life a moment later with the familiar, gruff voice of an older man. “Dispatch; go ahead Fifty-one.” 

“I just had a motorist drive off during a pull-over for reckless driving; possible DUI. I’ve got plates and a description, can I get a BOLO?”

“What, did a couple of college kids give you the slip?”

Shining Armor huffed. “Just put out the call please, Dispatch.”

“Sure thing Fifty-one, just a moment,” the voice laughed back.

Shining Armor took a deep breath and blew it out slowly, glancing out his window at the spot his mirror used to be while he waited. A flickering light across the street caught his attention, drawing his gaze to the poster it illuminated; a Taco Bell advertisement featuring a small, wiry dog and some kind of stuffed burrito. He cocked his head as the blue-haired girl's words floated back to him.

“We’re going to Taco Bell! It’s free taco night!”

“Nah,” Shining shook his head. “They wouldn’t be stupid enough to...” he trailed off, unwilling to finish a thought he wasn’t so sure he believed anyway.

“Ok Fifty-one, plates and description, whenever you're ready.”

“Actually,” Shining said into the handset, his eyes never leaving the poster, “nevermind, I got this. Thanks, Dispatch.”

“Uh… you’re welcome?”

Shining tossed the radio into the passenger seat and put the car back in gear, his brain already trying to figure out the fastest way to downtown.

“This isn’t over yet, girls… not by a long shot.”
> Fast Food for Fast Friends
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hopelessly lost somewhere in Canterlot, Sonata Dusk sighed. “What do we do now?”

“In a situation like this, there’s only one thing to do!” Pinkie Pie smiled. “We bust out the Magic of Friendship!”

Sonata cringed and protectively clutched her neck. “It’s not gonna be like last time is it? My throat is still kinda sore from all the rainbows.”

“Trust me,” Pinkie whipped out her phone and hit another speed dial option. “This is a totally different kind of rainbow!”







“Aw, man!” Hoops shouted as Rainbow Dash dribbled a swift figure-eight around Dumbbell and Score and performed another textbook three-point shot, the gentle swish of the net grating on what little remained of the boys’ collective ego. “C’mon, you gotta keep up with her!”

“Sorry,” Dumbbell frowned.

“Don’t be too hard on them, Hoops. I mean, I am the best athlete Canterlot High has ever seen. What’d you expect?” Rainbow Dash laughed as she scooped up the ball and set it spinning on her finger. “Unless of course you still haven’t learned your lesson from all the other times I trounced you.”

“Well we’ve just been going easy on you!” Hoops shot back, but Rainbow’s wry grin stole any confidence he might’ve had in that statement.

“Can… can we call time-out?” Score panted, “I think I need a break.”

“Hey c’mon, I’m just getting warmed up!” Rainbow said, grasping the ball and dribbling in place. “You can’t call me up in the middle of the night to challenge me to a three-on-one and then wuss out!”

“We thought you’d be exhausted after all the whole Battle of the Bands thing,” Dumbbell admitted as he plopped down on the asphalt court. “Hoops said it was probably the only chance we’d ever have to beat you.”

“Idiot! Don’t tell her that!” Hoops hissed, but Rainbow just laughed again.

“Sorry boys, but Rainbow Dash is all awesome; all the time!” As if to confirm her statement, the first few bars of ‘Awesome as I Wanna Be’ started playing from her pocket. Rainbow fished her cellphone out with one hand while she started idly tossing the basketball into the air and catching it with the other.

“‘Sup, Pinkie? … you what? Whoa whoa whoa, slow down, I can’t under-” There was a long pause. “What do tacos have to do with anything?” 

Hoops, Score, and Dumbbell shared a mischievous grin and a nod before slowly creeping toward Rainbow while she was distracted, but just as Score made a grab for the ball, she tossed it extra hard, sending it over his reach and bouncing off an unprepared Dumbbell’s noggin. The bounce sent it straight into Hoops’ waiting arms, but it was snatched away by an outstretched blue hand at the last second as Rainbow darted by him. Gritting his teeth and growling, Hoops took off after her, with Score and Dumbbell close behind.

Rainbow continued to listen to her phone intently, responding with the occasional ‘uh-huh’ or ‘yup’, though every time the boys reached for the ball she would inevitably spin just out of reach or juke to the side, sometimes dribbling the ball right between their legs as she stepped around them to pick up right where she left off without missing a single beat.

Finally, her eyes opened wide.

“Oh! Why didn’t you just say so? Um… is there an intersection nearby? What’re the names of the streets? Decode and Halifax; yeah I know where that is... actually I’m just a couple blocks from… sure, I guess I could, but-” Rainbow frowned and rolled her eyes. “Ugh, fine, I’ll be there in a sec.” She hung up the phone and shook her head before turning her attention back to the trio who had all slumped back down to the blacktop to catch their breath, having yet to even lay a finger on the basketball. “I’ve gotta go help a friend; looks like you guys get off easy tonight! Thanks for the game!” She darted over the the side of the court where her bicycle leaned against a section of chain-link fence. 

Hoops managed to push himself up on his elbows as Rainbow started pedaling off into the night. “Y-yeah, you better run!”

“Hey!” Score sat bolt upright, “She took our ball!”

Even as the words left his mouth, said basketball traced a beautiful, smooth arc through the air high above their heads, bouncing off the center of the backboard before dropping neatly through the net. Hoops groaned and flopped back to the ground as Dumbbell shook his head in disbelief.

“That’s just wrong.”







“So… you crashed AJ’s truck? ” Rainbow asked.

“Seems that way!”

“And then you left her on some street?”

“Yupperooni!”

“And now the cops are after you?”

“Probably!”

“And to top it all off you’re hanging out with one of the Sirens--the evil, mind-controlling monsters from Equestria who just earlier today tried to take over the world with their lame singing.”

“Hey! My singing isn’t-”

“And the two of you are going out for tacos, got lost and called me up because you needed someone to show you how to get downtown?”

“Nothing gets past you, Dashie!” Pinkie smiled.

“... Did you somehow become more random since the last time I saw you?”

“Don’t be silly! I’m still the same ol’ Pinkie Pie, and besides, what kinda weirdo name is ‘More Random’?” she laughed, drawing a nod from Sonata.

“A pretty lame one if you ask me,” the Siren pouted.

“Whatever,” Rainbow frowned, “the real question is why didn’t you just use your phone,” she said, snatching the pink-cased device from the party planner’s hand and holding it up for her to see. “You’ve got GPS just like everyone else, don’t you?”

For a moment they just stared, and then for the second time that evening Pinkie and Sonata turned to one another with sudden looks of realization.

“Omigosh, she’s right!”

“That would’ve avoided all the rainbows!” Sonata cheered.

Screwing up her face in confusion, Rainbow sighed. “Anyway, we’d better go find Applejack. She’s probably just sitting around waiting for the cops to show up; we should at least be there to back her up so she doesn’t have to face the music alone.”

“Oh!” Sonata’s eyes widened. “The cops are going to use music on her? Does that mean they have Equestrian magic too?” She put her finger to her chin. “Darn, if Adagio had known that, then taking over the world would’ve been so much easier.”

Rainbow Dash blinked. “I’m not really sure how I’m supposed to react to that, sooo let’s just go find AJ and-”
 
“Wait!” Pinkie suddenly cried, grasping Rainbow’s shirt as she brought her face so close that their noses touched. “We can’t afford to go back for Applejack; we need to get to Taco Bell, pronto! Who knows how many free tacos they have left? Free taco night only lasts so long, and what happens if they give away all those golden, crunchy, salty, spicy, cheesy, beansy treasures before we get there? Then what’ll we do? Our whole night will be ruined! RUINED!!”

“Um, you could always just buy some,” Rainbow said cautiously, trying not to look directly into Pinkie’s intense and very too-close-for-comfort eyes. “Most fast food places are open all night nowadays.”

For the third time that night, turned to each other with shocked expressions.

“Omigosh, that’s also right! You’re on a roll, Rainbow!”

“Wow,” Sonata breathed as she looked upon Rainbow with awe, “Pinkie, your friends are all so smart!”

“I know, right?” Pinkie exclaimed, giving Rainbow’s multicolored hair a quick tussle. “And you keep telling everyone you’re not an egghead!” Rainbow half-heartedly batted Pinkie’s hand away with a grimace as Sonata’s expression quickly fell.

“Oh, but I still don’t have any money,” she said, looking down at the ground. “If we don’t make it before they run out of free tacos it’ll be too late after all.”

Rainbow scoffed, crossing her arms. “Tough luck, kid, but don’t expect me to feel sorry for you after what you tried to do.”

“I… I understand,” Sonata sniffed, self-consciously rubbing her arm as she turned away from Rainbow’s baleful gaze.

“Hey!” Pinkie frowned, “Dashie, why are you being such a mean meanie-pants?”

“Are you kidding?” Rainbow shouted back, “She mind controlled the whole school, and worse than that she almost broke up our friendship! All of us!”

“So did Sunset, and we forgave her.”

“That… that’s different!” Rainbow said, but Pinkie took a step closer and dropped her voice.

“You know why she wants to go to Taco Bell so badly?”

“She’s hungry?”

Pinkie blinked. “Well, yeah, there’s that… but she’s also trying to get some for the other Sirens. She’s trying to do something nice for her friends, Dashie. Wouldn’t you do the same thing if you were in her place?”

Rainbow scoffed again and looked to the side, but did not reply.

“What good is the Magic of Friendship if we don’t share it with other people too?”

At this, Rainbow glanced back at her friend. Pinkie’s lips were curled down ever so slightly into a frown, and her normally vibrant blue eyes spoke volumes of sadness and disappointment, with just a touch of frustration. Tiny, unshed tears gathered at the corners, barely visible in the imperfect light of the street lamps above that cast striking shadows across her typically joyous face. It was the single most solemn, serious expression that Rainbow had ever seen.

Coming from Pinkie Pie, that meant a lot.

“Okay fine,” Rainbow sighed, “I’ll help.” Before she could form another thought she felt a crushing pain around her midsection as Pinkie glomped her in a titanic hug.

“Yay!” she cheered, all trace of seriousness banished in an instant. “Thankyouthankyouthankyou Dashie!”

“Thank you!” Sonata echoed with a smile and a little clap as Rainbow struggled to extricate herself from Pinkie’s grasp.

“Don’t thank me yet,” she grunted, pointing a finger at Sonata. “I’m watching you, and if you try any funny business…” She left the sentence threateningly unfinished, but Sonata just cocked her head in confusion.

“Like... being a clown? Or doing stand up comedy?”

“Ooh, ooh!” Pinkie Pie jumped between them with a grin, “Or like playing that one person on every television sitcom who always interprets common sayings literally, usually leading to an array of funny dialogue and antics that could’ve been easily avoided if they had a firmer grasp of the vernacular?”

Rainbow looked at the two of them impassively.

“Forget it; let’s just go.”

“Yay!” Pinkie and Sonata echoed, throwing their hands into the air. Rainbow shook her head and stepped around them walking her bike alongside.

“Wait Dashie! Are you sure that's the way downtown?” Pinkie pointed.

“No, but there’s a bus stop where I can lock up my bike two blocks this way,” Rainbow said.

“I tried the bus already,” Sonata admitted. “It didn’t work out so well.”

“Yeah yeah, you’ve got no money, I get it. Don’t worry, I’ll pay for it.”

Sonata’s face beamed. “You will?”

“Yeah,” Rainbow rolled her eyes as her two new charges exchanged another excited high-five and started after her. 

“Besides,” she grumbled under her breath, “three bucks is a small price to pay to get the two of you out of my hair before you drive me completely bonkers.”

> Hungry? You're not Alone.
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shining Armor eased his SUV to a stop and slid it into park. He turned the key to the aux position to cut the engine and leaned back in his seat with a satisfied sigh. While technically in the parking lot of the Canterlot Convention Center, he had found a free space facing the street that afforded him a clear line of sight to his target. Directly ahead of him sat a squat yellow building--Canterlot’s only Taco Bell--with its bright backlit signs and many colorful window advertisements displaying the current month’s featured deals. From here, he had an unobstructed view of one of the fast food joint’s entrances and a partially blocked view of the other, but he could still tell if someone was using it. Unless those girls slipped in through the employee’s entrance in the back, there would be no way for them to get inside without him spotting them.

He thought back to his brief first encounter with the three and pursed his lips. The blonde--Applejack, he reminded himself with a quick glance at the license on the seat next to him--had come across like she was just trying to look out for her friends, and the blue haired girl, while apparently a little dim, had seemed sincere enough in her desire for food. 

But that pink one... 

Shining gave his head a quick shake. He wasn’t really sure what the deal with her was. When he had first seen her, sitting perfectly still and quiet between her two friends like nothing was wrong, he’d pegged her as just being nervous or shy. He hadn’t been expecting her to suddenly lash out like a Yippie with nothing to lose.

Still, Shining Armor couldn’t really bring himself to blame the others for her actions. He hadn’t been a teenager so long ago that he had forgotten what it was like, and a tiny smile crept onto his face as he thought of all the trouble he and his friends had gotten into back then. The time Gaffer had convinced them all to form a rock band to help him impress Cadance was was a particularly fond memory, even if it did make them the laughing stock of his entire school for a while.

These girls were probably out tonight making their own memories, just like he had done… just like he kept wishing his little sister would do instead of sealing herself up indoors all day. He had to admit, for the briefest moment during their conversation, Shining had hoped that Applejack and her friends were the kind of people he might be able to introduce to Twily to help bring her out of her shell a little. Before they’d solidified their status as a public menace, of course. 

He sighed again. As much as he knew he had to bring the trio in, the big brother in him still didn’t really want to. Maybe he could at least give them a chance to enjoy their meal before he brought their ‘crime spree’ to an end. He let his eyes wander over the Taco Bell, coming to rest on one particular window poster showing some kind of triple-stacked burrito with alternating layers of guacamole and refried beans between the outermost tortillas, and scrunched up his nose. 

On second thought, he didn’t much like the idea of putting three people who had recently consumed high-grease, high-preservative, bean-filled, mostly artificial and known-to-produce-flatulence fast food in the back of his car. 

“I’ll take a corndog over that crap any day.”

A sudden flurry of movement and colors that spanned both his rearview mirror and his one remaining side mirror caught his attention, and he twisted around to get a better look. The sight he beheld froze him in place.

“What in the blue hell…”







“... And that’s how Equestria was made!”

“Wow,” Sonata breathed in awe as she stared at Pinkie Pie with wide eyes. “I had no idea there were so many bakers or polar bears involved, and I’m from Equestria!”

“Pinkie Pie,” Rainbow Dash grunted, shouldering both the party girl and the blue haired Siren she was sandwiched between in a vain attempt to reclaim some personal space in the overcrowded, standing-room-only bus, “what are you even talking about?”

“Equestria! Y’know, the other world where Twilight, Sunset, and the Sirens are from?”

“Yeah, I got that much, but how do you always know everything about it? Like that time when Twilight first told us who she was and you pretty much nailed it?”

“I’unno,” was Pinkie’s only response. Rainbow sighed, or tried to, but at that moment the bus took a corner and the glasses-wearing, slightly overweight nerd next to them lost his balance, further squashing the three girls together.

“Ugh, watch it!” Rainbow said as the bus straightened back out and they all regained their own footing.

“S-sorry,” the kid replied, looking more than a little embarrassed.

“Why the heck are there so many people taking the bus this late anyway?” Rainbow asked out loud without really expecting an answer.

“Oh, you mean you don’t know?”

“Know what?” Sonata asked, trying to twist herself around since she was currently standing with her back to the boy.

“It’s opening night of the fourth annual Canterlot Comicon!” he said excitedly, using one thick finger to push his glasses back up his nose as they slid down. “Though, it might be the last year they can hold it here in the city unless they find a bigger venue; the tickets sold out in just a couple of weeks. I’ve been waiting for this for months!”

“Huh?” Rainbow said, but a pink finger tapped her shoulder and the pointed out the far window. Rainbow had to squint to try and see through the somewhat grimey surface, but when she realized what she was looking at her mouth fell open.

“Oh, for crying out-!” Rainbow was cut off as the bus driver slammed on his brakes, bringing the packed vehicle to a stuttering stop and knocking any unprepared passengers off their feet and into an uncomfortable, impromptu dogpile.

“Sorry about that!” The driver called back. “Buncha damn kids trying to cross the road… is everybody ok?”

A series of mumbled and moaned answers in varying degrees of confirmation responded, and it seemed like everyone was, for the most part, unharmed.

“Whoever’s hand is on my butt has three seconds,” Rainbow deadpanned. “One.”

“Whoopsies!” Pinkie said as she quickly extricated herself from the pile with an awkward smile.

“Um,” Sonata spoke up, “Actually Pinkie, I think your hand was on my butt.”

“Then who the hell is-?!” Rainbow started as she looked down, her cheeks flushing as she found herself looking into the tomato-red face of the nerd from earlier.

“Um… h-hi.”







“Sorry about the eye,” Rainbow mumbled a half-hearted apology to the nerd as the four of them exited the bus, along with most of the other riders. The boy laughed weakly, his one hand keeping a cold can of whipped cream pressed against his swelling face as best as he could.

“S’okay,” he slurred a little as he started walking off with an awkward gait. “Thanks for the whipped cream.”

“Make sure you find something yummy to put it on before it gets too warm!” Pinkie called after him, drawing a narrow glare from Rainbow. “What? No reason to let it go to waste, that stuff’s good!”

“So… is this it?” Sonata asked, glancing around anxiously as the bus closed it’s doors, issued a loud beep, and started to pull away from the curb. “Are we here?”

“Yeah, we’re here,” Rainbow sighed, “but we’ve got a bit of a problem.” 

Sonata’s face fell a little. “What kind of a problem?”

Rainbow pointed across the street just as the bus moved out of the way.

“That kind.”

There, in all it’s glory, stood Taco Bell. Perched on a small rise just across the street from the Canterlot Convention Center, its bright sign glowed like a beacon and widened Sonata’s eyes as she drank in the symbol of her hope; her love... but the joy she should have felt was short lived.

To be more specific, her joy was stuck in line behind several hundred excited, colorful, often costumed, sometimes a little smelly, and unfortunately very, very hungry geeks, nerds, and other assorted weirdos. The line extended out of the Taco Bell, wrapped around the entire building several times, then meandered back and forth through the parking lot before finally ending where it spilled onto the sidewalk about a half a block from where they were currently standing.

“Wh-what?” Sonata said, slackjawed. “Where did… why are… huh?!”

“Uh-oh, I think we broke her,” Pinkie waved her hand in front of Sonata’s face.

“It looks like the eggheads all wanted a late night snack, and Taco Bell is one of the only fast food places in walking distance,” Rainbow surveyed the crowd and crossed her arms over her chest as Sonata fell to her knees. “Well, ‘walking distance’ for your average neckbeard, anyway.”

Pinkie whistled in awe. “You know what that means?”

“Yeah,” Rainbow grumbled. “We’re gonna be here awhile.”

> Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm... Friendly.
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The line shuffled forward a step.

“How can you possibly stand there and compare the Star Trot reboot to the original films?” a man wearing an ornate silver-armored costume and a large, prosthetic headpiece asked. “I mean c’mon! The characterization in the first one was bad enough, but the sequel was like the director took all of the most iconic moments from the franchise, threw them in a hat and pulled them out one at a time saying ‘ok, we’ll do this part next.' The continuity was terrible even when it did make sense!”

The line shuffled forward another step.

“But all you’re doing is comparing it to the original!” Pinkie replied. “You have to look at the new films as just that: new! It’s a chance to see how the characters you know and love would behave in circumstances they might never have been in before. You can’t blame the creators of the new movies for wanting to put their own personal spin on things, I mean who wouldn’t given the chance? You have to let go of your expectations and experience it for what it is, not what it isn’t. Just because something is new, or isn’t what you wanted it to be, doesn’t automatically make it bad,” she finished with a sagely nod.

The line started to move, but stopped short of really going anywhere. Someone up ahead must’ve thought they had more room to move than they actually did.

The armored man put a hand to his chin as he considered her words, but his shorter partner, clad in a red and black uniform that was a size or two small around his midsection, spoke up. “What about the part where Klam spouts a fountain of poorly-researched technobabble about the life support node behind the aft nacelle? Everyone knows the nacelles are far as aft as you can go on a Crustacean-class starship.”

Pinkie blinked once. “Yeah, that part was crap.”

“Ugh, I can’t take it anymore!” Rainbow Dash shouted. “We’ve been standing in line for…” she looked at her phone, “twenty-two minutes, and I’ve already absorbed more information about science fiction, table-top gaming, and weirdo Neighponese cartoons than I’m comfortable knowing. I feel like if I hear any more I’m gonna need to turn in my jock card, so for the love of the game, someone please, please talk about something I can understand!”

Right after she said ‘the game’, a smattering of nearby people groaned, one throwing up his hands in defeat, but Rainbow ignored them. She was pretty sure it was something she didn’t want to know about.

“Ooh, I know!” Sonata piped up. “I can’t decide what kind of taco I’m going to get! Should I get one with double guacamole, or should I get extra refried beans?”

“... Something that isn’t tacos!” Rainbow added with a glare, causing Sonata to wilt a little. “Anybody else?”

“Rainbow Dash!” a distant shout said over the collective din of all the convention goers waiting in line.

“Hm,” the athlete rubbed her chin. “Not a bad topic, I suppose. I am pretty awesome after all.”

“Rainbow Dash!” the voice repeated, sounding a little close than it had before. “Over here!”

Rainbow and the others turned and saw three familiar girls weaving their way through the throng towards them.

“Scootaloo?!” Rainbow’s jaw dropped open.

“Sweetie Belle? Apple Bloom?” Pinkie followed suit. “What’re you girls doing here?”

“And why are you dressed like… that?” Rainbow gestured to their outfits.

“I’m cosplaying as Zapp from our favorite comic book, Power Ponies!” she grinned and fell into an action pose.

“And I’m Mistress Marevelous!” Apple Bloom decreed as she pulled a golden lasso from her belt and gave it a less-than-professional twirl that tangled it around her head and shoulders.

“And I’m Radiance!” Sweetie Belle chimed in with an excited hop. Rainbow facepalmed while Pinkie Pie let out a high-pitched squee and jumped up and down.

“Hee hee! You girls look super-fantastic!”

“We made the costumes ourselves!” Sweetie said proudly, giving a quick spin to show off the dark blue spandex outfit and gemmed jewelry. Her two fellow Crusaders turned and gave her flat stares, putting a slight blush on her cheeks. “Ok, so Rarity might’ve helped a little.”

“Forget that; why are you here?” Rainbow asked.

“The whole voice cast of the new Power Ponies cartoon is here!” Scootaloo said. “They’re signing autographs and doing photo ops with fans!”

“And we’re gonna get our pictures taken with all of ‘em!” Apple Bloom finished, drawing a confirming nod and smile from Sweetie Belle.

Rainbow rolled her eyes. “No, I mean what are you doing here by yourselves? There’s no way Rarity or AJ would let you three come here without anyone keeping an eye on you.”

“‘Course not!” Apple Bloom frowned, turning back in the direction they came. “That’s why… uh,” she stopped. “Where’d she go?”

“I think we lost her,” Scootaloo frowned. As if on cue, a sweet, soft-spoken voice drifted to their ears, barely audible amid the background chatter.

“Um, excuse me… pardon me… if you don’t mind, I’m just trying to… oh, I’m sorry… watch out please… can I just…um...”

Rainbow’s jaw fell open again. “No way…”

Fluttershy grunted a little as she finally squeezed between a pair of cosplayers in white full-body plastic armor and a third wearing a black robe and waving a glowing energy sword, all but tumbling into view as she freed herself from the crowd. She paused to take a few calming breaths, but when she spotted the Crusaders she gasped.

“There you are!” She was kneeling next to them in an instant. “Girls, I told you to stay close to me no matter what. It’s very easy to get lost in all these people, and you never know how dangerous they might…” she trailed off as she looked over her charges’ heads and spotted the others staring back at her. “Oh, hello Rainbow Dash, hello Pinkie Pie. What are you two-EEP!”

Fluttershy’s eyes bugged out as they settled on Sonata. She ducked down behind the Crusaders and covered her head with her hands, but a split second later she pushed the girls aside and placed herself firmly between them and the Siren with her arms spread wide.

“S-stay back girls, cover your ears and don’t listen if she starts to sing!”

“Fluttershy, it’s ok!” Pinkie said, “Sonata’s on our side now!” This seemed to give the timid girl pause, but she did not relinquish her guard over the Crusaders.

“That’s… that’s just what you would say if you were under her control!”

Pinkie rolled her eyes and put one hand on her hip, snapping once at Sonata with the other. “Sonni-D, do the thing.” Sonata frowned and scrunched up her nose.

“Do the… oh! The thing! Right!” she perked up considerably before delicately clearing her throat. “I promise not to do anything evil, mean, or Siren-y. This includes singing evil songs, plotting to take over the world, jaywalking, eating the last cookie, piece of candy, or cupcake, manipulating people into doing whatever I want through any means, and… um…” she looked to Pinkie plaintively, but received only a vague gesture that she continue, “...making sure to wash my hands after using the bathroom?”

Pinkie pursed her lips and looked up in thought for a moment before nodding. Sonata beamed. 

“Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!” she finished emphatically, pantomiming the actions as she spoke.

Fluttershy’s expression softened considerably. “Oh, well if it’s a Pinkie Promise then I guess in that case it’s okay.”

“Got roped into watching the Crusaders, huh?” Rainbow crossed her arms, but Fluttershy shook her head.

“Oh, I don’t know if I would call it ‘roped in’. While I was walking home with Rarity she said that the whole Battle of the Bands had really inspired her and couldn’t wait to get to work on some new designs, but then she remembered that she’d promised to take the girls to this convention.”

“So you volunteered to bring them to the biggest, noisiest, most crowded place in Canterlot just so Rarity could stay at home and make dresses,” Rainbow stated more than asked. 

Fluttershy winced. “It is a little overwhelming, but I couldn’t just let them miss out on something they really wanted to do.” She gently patted Apple Bloom’s head and rested her other hand on Scootaloo’s shoulder. “They’ve been planning on coming for so long, it would’ve broken their little hearts.” Rainbow shook her head.

“Fluttershy, you take being a doormat to a whole new level.” A soft smile worked it’s way onto her face. “Don’t ever change.” Fluttershy blushed a little and smiled demurely as Scootaloo turned to Sonata.

“Where’re the other two?”

“Oh, Adagio and Aria are both back home. They’re not taking the whole ‘losing our powers’ thing very well,” Sonata said. “I want to bring them some tacos to try and cheer them up!”

“Well that’s real nice of ya!” Apple Bloom smiled.

“You’re not upset about it?” Sweetie Belle asked. “I mean, no offense, but at the end of the concert right before you ran off, you kinda sounded like my sister’s cat when we try to give it a bath.”

“Well...” the Siren’s expression fell as she glanced off to the side and her hands started playing at the fabric of her skirt.

“Hang on a minute,” Rainbow Dash interrupted. “Why aren’t you three weirded out by this?”

“By what?” Apple Bloom asked as the Crusaders blinked in confusion.

“By her!” Rainbow pointed at Sonata. “She hypnotized everyone and tried to take over the school!”

“Oh, right… that,” Scootaloo grinned sheepishly. “Well, the three of us were talking earlier, and we, um…”

“We feel downright awful ‘bout how we acted around Sunset Shimmer these past couple of months,” Apple Bloom picked up where her friend left off. “She was goin’ out of her way to be nice to folks to make up for what she did, and we still treated her like some kinda stranger.”

“So we decided that this time, if the Dazzlings want to turn over a new leaf and become our friends, we’re going to be nice to them just like you and your friends were with Sunset!” Sweetie concluded with a giant smile.

“Yeah!” Pinkie Pie pumped her fist in the air. “That’s what I’m talking about! Put it there, girls!” She offered each of the Crusaders a high-five.

“Thank you,” Sonata said softly as she smiled down at the Crusaders. “I… I really don’t know what to say.”

“Say you’ll be our friend?” Apple Bloom offered along with a smile that her two partners shared. A tearful Sonata beamed, dropping to her knees so she could sweep the three girls into a massive hug.

“Of course! Ooh, I can hardly believe it, this morning I’d never had a friend before, and now I’ve got three!”

“Four,” Pinkie quietly corrected.

“Four!” Sonata said without missing a beat as the Crusaders hugged her back. “And on top of that we’re going to get tacos! This is just the best day ever!”

“Aww,” Fluttershy cooed. Rainbow scoffed, crossing her arms and turning her head, but said nothing. Her eyes suddenly narrowed at something she spotted in the distance.

“Uh… hey Pinkie.”

“Yes Dashie?”

“What’d that cop that pulled you and AJ over look like?”

“Um,” Pinkie rubbed her chin. “I think he had white skin and kind of bluish hair. Why?”

Rainbow pointed.

There amidst the crowd, swiftly and steadily pushing his way toward them through the sea of costumed con-goers, was Officer Shining Armor.

And he did not look happy.

> Come Hungry; Leave... well, Still Hungry
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The seven friends stared at the approaching police officer for a long moment before Apple Bloom broke the silence.

“Wait a second, Applejack got pulled over?” she asked.

“And then you ditched the cops?” Scootaloo smiled widely “That’s awesome!”

“It’s so daring; so rebellious!” Sweetie agreed.

“Now girls, I’m sure that’s not what happened,” Fluttershy laid gentle hands on two of their shoulders. “I’m sure Pinkie, Applejack, and Sonata had very good and completely legitimate reasons for breaking the law.”

“Tacos!” Sonata smiled and clapped her hands. 

Fluttershy blinked. “Oh, or-or not.”

“Well, it was nice knowin’ ya, Pinks,” Rainbow smirked. “See ya in ten to twenty years.”

“Um,” Pinkie’s eyes flicked back and forth, searching for an escape route. “Maybe… it isn’t him? Maybe it’s just somebody cosplaying as a cop? People cosplay as cops, right?”

“No, that’s definitely the guy whose car we hit,” Sonata confirmed. “I hope he’s not still mad about his mirror,” she added with a frown.

“W-well, uh, maybe… maybe he hasn’t spotted us yet?” Pinkie said. “Y-yeah! He could just want to get in line for tacos!”

“He’s staring right at us,” Rainbow said with a shake of her head. Pinkie gulped and panicked for a moment more before her wild gaze settled on Rainbow. She dropped to her knees, grasping the front of Dash’s shirt and staring up at the athlete with giant blue eyes that would’ve put even the cutest puppy to shame, her lower lip pushed out into a trembling pout.

“Ugh, stop that,” Rainbow groused, looking off to the side. After a moment when Pinkie still hadn’t released her shirt, she looked back and found that Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo had joined her pink friend, all staring up at her pleadingly. “Oh, c’mon! You girls too?”

Impossibly, the cuteness intensified. Eyebrow twitching, Rainbow let out a disgusted groan.

“Fine! Fine, just stop looking so pathetic!” She shook her head again. “I swear, one of these days you’re gonna give somebody diabetes with that routine.” She turned and looked in the police officer’s direction, noting that he’d almost reached them. “Ok, I’ll distract him as long as I can. Pinkie, you and Sonata run for it; he’s not after anybody else.”

“But what about the tacos?” Sonata frowned.

“We’ll just have to find some someplace else! C’mon, this way!” Pinkie said with her usual cheer as she took Sonata’s hand and started leading her away through the throng. “Thanks Dashie; you’re the best!” she shouted over her shoulder.

“Bye everyone!” Sonata likewise waved. Rainbow rolled her eyes and turned around to face her approaching foe.

“We’ll help too!” Apple Bloom said.

“Yeah! If Rainbow Dash is gonna fight the law, then so’re we!” Scootaloo declared with a determined smile.

“Does anyone else think that’s ironic since we’re dressed up as superheroes?” Sweetie Belle questioned.

“Oh, I don’t know if starting a fight is such a good idea,” Fluttershy wrung her hands together. “Maybe we should just talk to him? You never know, he might be a nice person.”

“Nobody is gonna fight anybody,” Rainbow clarified. “Just stand back. I’ll take care of this, ok?” As she turned to await the police officer’s arrival, she swallowed hard. “Somehow…”

A moment later and Shining Armor pushed through the last line of convention attendees, his eyes flashing over the crowd to try and pick out the retreating outlines of Pinkie and Sonata. He nearly walked right past Rainbow and the others without so much as a glance.

“Whoa, wait up there big guy!” Rainbow said as she stepped into his path and held both her hands up defensively.

“Excuse me miss; please step aside,” Shining Armor replied absently, his gaze still scanning over Rainbow’s head.

“What’s your hurry? Not enjoying Nerdvana?” Rainbow smirked. Shining Armor looked down at her, his face the definition of stern.

“Move aside.”

“Hehe,” she jittered, “So, uh… you ever arrest anybody?” She heard a triple-smack behind her that sounded a lot like three young girls facepalming.

“I’m thinking about it,” Shining said. “Last warning. Move aside, please.” Even as he spoke he began making his way around Rainbow, and on instinct she sidestepped to block him, her arms out as if she were guarding someone on the court, and grinned.

“If you think you can get past me that easily you-HEY!”

In the blink of an eye, Shining grabbed one of her outstretched arms, pulled, and twisted, forcing Rainbow to spin until her wrist was pressed painfully against her back. She felt a foot sweep out her own and the next thing she knew she was headed face-first for the ground.

“Oof!” she landed with a grunt that knocked the wind out of her, and a well-positioned knee on her upper back kept her face pressed to the pavement. “Lemme go!”

“Rainbow Dash!” Scootaloo shouted as the three Crusaders stood open-mouthed. Fluttershy clapped both hands to the sides of her face, her eyes wide.

“It’s pretty obvious you’re trying to cover for those girls, so I’ll make you a deal,” Shining said calmly from his position on Rainbow’s back. “Tell me where they’re going, and I won’t throw you in jail for obstructing an officer.”

“Ugh!” Rainbow strained to try and free herself. “Bite me!” 

Shining Armor shook his head and gave a disappointed frown as he reached for the back of his belt with his free hand, pulling forth a set of handcuffs. “Have it your way.”

“We can’t let Rainbow Dash get arrested!” Scootaloo said.

“Fluttershy,” Apple Bloom pleaded, “can’t you do somethin’?”

“I-I’m not s-sure what I could-”

“Please, Fluttershy!” Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo said together. Fluttershy swallowed hard.

“Oh, a-all right, I’ll try,” Fluttershy said through chattering teeth. She took a deep breath and padded softly up next to Shining Armor, who was trying to wrench Rainbow’s flailing other arm into a position to put on the cuffs. “Um, e-excuse me…”

“Back off!” Shining Armor growled, whipping his head around to try and intimidate whoever was sneaking up on him so quietly. It worked a little too well, because Fluttershy squeaked and shrunk in on herself, tears leaping to her eyes as she cowered. He hesitated and his expression softened, not quite sure what to make of the mewling girl in front of him. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. Are you all right?”

As they watched the scene unfold along with a number of con-goers who were close enough to see it all go down, the Crusaders experienced what they had come to call a ‘moment’. 

Apple Bloom perked up as an idea started to form in her mind. Just as she turned to Scootaloo, the purple-haired girl’s eyes widened as she too had exactly the same thought. They nodded at each other as Sweetie Belle, sensing that something was going on, turned to them in curiosity. They smirked mischievously, but Sweetie Belle only tilted her head and frowned, leading Apple Bloom to roll her eyes and Scootaloo to cross her arms and start tapping her foot. After another few seconds, a look of realization dawned on Sweetie’s face, and she grinned from ear to ear.

With a silent, synchronized nod, the Crusaders leaped into action.

Before Shining Armor could get a real answer out of the crying Fluttershy, he felt something small and light crash roughly into his side and then flop onto the ground next to him. He looked down to find that for some reason he now had two people laying underneath him: the one with the polychromatic hair whom he remembered putting there, and… a miniature Zapp from Power Ponies?

Unlike Rainbow, ‘Zapp’ was on her back, and looked up at him with a passable imitation of disdain and discomfort.

“Help, HELP!” she shouted suddenly, “I’m being oppressed!”

Shining opened his mouth but his attention was pulled away as a tiny Mistress Marevelous collapsed on his right, between himself and Fluttershy. “Come see the violence inherent in the system!” she cried out, holding her head and contorting her body in pretend agony.

His brain reeling while trying to comprehend where these pint-sized superheroes kept coming from, he just so happened to look up in time to see a similarly small version of Radiance launch herself directly at his face. He released his hold on Rainbow, instinctively trying to stand and catch the spandex-clad girl even as she threw her arms about his neck. Unlike the other two, who had at least tried to look convincing, mini-Radiance wore a gigantic smile as she stared at him with sparkling, excited eyes. Eyes that sent a shiver down his spine and formed a ball of ice in his stomach as she reared back, taking in a tremendous breath.

“I NEED AN ADULT!!”

Her impossibly loud scream left Shining’s ears ringing while simultaneously silencing every nerd-born conversation within a fifty-foot radius. Several hundred heads turned to face the sound, most of them settling their gaze on the sight of a CPD officer with three young women writhing on the ground at his feet, a fourth on her knees with tears streaming down her face, and a fifth, clearly underaged one clutched tightly against his chest.

Shining Armor had exactly enough time to comprehend how truly screwed he was before the shouting horde descended and fully surrounded him.

“Hey! Let go of that girl!”

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“How could you just attack a group of defenseless kids?!”

“Police brutality!”

“H-hey!” Shining Armor pleaded as he unsuccessfully tried to disentangle himself from Sweetie Belle. “This isn’t what it looks like! Now back off before I have to-”

“Are you threatening us while we’re just standing around?”

“Yeah! What kinda crap is that when you’re the one beating up teenage girls!”

“Wait, is he even a cop? What if he’s just cosplaying?”

“Ew, that’s even worse, he’s just a sadistic perv!”

Shining Armor finally pried Sweetie Belle off his neck and set her down, barely aware of her as she scampered away. He raised both his hands into the air, trying to address the crowd. All alone in the midst of a mob like this he didn’t dare antagonize them any further by going for his sidearm or nightstick.

“Everyone please listen to me! I am an officer of the Canterlot Police Department! I’m looking for three young girls who-”

“You think that gives you the right to just come here and harass us?”

“Get out of here, you bully!”

“Yeah, he is just a bully!”

“He probably picked on people like us in high school and thinks he can get away with it now just because he wears a badge!”

“Me?” Shining actually laughed. “You think I was a bully? I was a complete nerd in high school just like all of you!”

“Now you’re making fun of us?!”

“Just ‘cause you’re a cop doesn’t mean you can stand there throwing out insults!”

“No, that’s not what I-” Shining tried to explain.

“Screw this!” the man with the glowing laser sword said as he held the ‘weapon’ aloft. “Get him!”

“Yeah!”

“Lets find a toilet and give him a swirly; see how he likes it!”

“For Narnia!”

“Heghlu'meH QaQ jajvam!”

“Wait! Stop!” Shining Armor shouted as the angry swarm overtook him, pulling him beneath their endless rain of foam swords and laser-pointer phasers. “I watch Star Trot! I… I have every season of Superneightural on Blu-ray! I PLAY OUBLIETTES AND OGRES!!”

His cries faded away, lost in a sea of geekery, as the Crusaders pulled a confused but relieved Rainbow Dash and a still-tearful Fluttershy out of the edge of the crowd and bolted off into the night.

> Fun for the Border
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------



“Okay,” Pinkie gasped out between greedy lungfuls of air, “I think--huff--we might’ve lost him.”

“I hope so,” Sonata responded, her own breathing coming in ragged pants. “‘Cause I don’t--hah--think I can run any more!” As she spoke she stumbled to a stop, jellied legs giving way as her rump found the pavement in an awkward and uncomfortable fashion. “I haven’t been so exhausted since that time me, Adagio, and Aria went to that Salem place and had to run away from the people that wanted to set us on fire.”

“Why’d they wanna do that?” Pinkie asked, bent forward with her hands braced on her knees as she likewise tried to catch her breath.

“‘Cause they thought we were mind-controlling ‘em.”

“Were you?”

Sonata smiled sheepishly. “Only a little bit…”

Pinkie grinned and let out a snorting, infectious giggle that Sonata couldn’t help but fall victim to herself. Their smiles turned giddy and broke into full-blown laughter, and before long Pinkie joined Sonata on the sidewalk as they both clutched their sides and tears of mirth squeezed from their eyes.

After who knows how long, the two were flat on their backs and once again gasping for breath.

“I guess--hehe--I guess I’ll never have to worry about stuff like that happening again now, huh?” Sonata said. Pinkie glanced over at her, taking note of how her fingers idly played with the thin black ribbon that encircled her neck. The Siren was still smiling but the way her eyes stared straight up into the night sky told a very different story.

“Hey, no moping allowed on a taco run!” Pinkie said as she bounced to her feet and offered her hand to Sonata. “That was your rule, right?”

Sonata took Pinkie’s hand and pulled herself up into a sitting position. “I guess so, but I could do with a little more ‘taco’ and a little less ‘run’,” she sighed.

“No problem!” Pinkie grinned, pulling out her phone. “There’s plenty of other tex-mex places in Canterlot; we just need to look up the closest one and before you know it we’ll be savoring that crunchy, cheesy, spicy… ooh!” Her eyes lit up. “There’s one just up the street, and it’s...”







“... way past closing time,” Pinkie frowned at the darkened entrance of Hot Tamale’s Mexican Bistro.

“For realzies?” Sonata shook her head. “Who closes at… what time is it?” Pinkie briefly held up her phone, and the Siren’s eyes widened a little. “Oh. Nevermind.”

“Most of these other places are probably done for the night, too. We might just be better off if we… aha!” Pinkie perked up and pointed at the tiny screen. “‘The Canterlot Diner; open all night’. That’s perfect! Diners always serve all kinds of food, and I’ll bet they’ll…”







“... be closed for renovations?!” She gaped up at the sign bolted across the diner’s glass doors, through which she and Sonata could easily make out the equipment, tools, and stacks of building materials that confirmed said sign’s message.

“That’s just not fair,” Sonata pouted, but Pinkie shook her head and put on a hard, determined scowl.

“We’re not done yet!” she declared and pulled out her phone, tapping furiously at the screen. “Here! Señor Sombrero’s Taco Shack!” She paused, looking up with a blank expression. “Huh... why didn’t we try there first?”

Sonata furrowed her brow. “Wait, isn’t that the place that…”







“... burned down last week in a grease fire.”

Indeed, before the two girls sat an empty, taped-off lot where Señor Sombrero’s once stood, as evidenced by a charred sign depicting a dark-skinned, mustachioed man wearing his namesake hat that lay haphazardly across a pile of blackened brick and charcoal ash.

Pinkie dropped to her knees, her mouth hanging open as Sonata gave the debris a concerned frown, their normally energetic demeanors lost amid the rubble.

“What… the… fudge.”

“Aria says that a lot,” Sonata murmured. “Only she doesn’t say ‘fudge’; she says-”

“No!” Pinkie shouted, leaping to her feet and startling Sonata. “No, we’re not giving up! I promised you tacos, and I’m gonna deliver!”

“But there aren’t any taco places that deliver, not even Taco Bell,” Sonata huffed as she sat down on a nearby bench and rested her chin in her hands. “Trust me; I’ve asked.”

Pinkie scrunched up her face in concentration for a moment before she quite literally exploded back into her usual, bouncy self, complete with a burst of confetti and a strange kazoo-like noise that seemed to come from everywhere at once.

“Taco Bell!” she exclaimed. “There’s another Taco Bell in Ponyville! That’s only like an hour’s drive from here!”

“Yay!” Sonata beamed as well, but her smile quickly evaporated. “But we don’t have a car.”

Pinkie grinned, putting her arm around Sonata’s shoulder and leading her off down the street.

“I know someone who do~oes,” Pinkie said in a sing-song voice, “and her place is only a couple blocks away!”







“She lives in a dress shop?”

“No, Silly-nata!” Pinkie smiled as she pushed a button next to a nondescript door immediately to one side of Carousel Boutique’s storefront windows, eliciting a faint buzz from somewhere above them. “She works in the dress shop; her apartment is on the second floor.”

“Hello?” A small speaker above the button Pinkie had pushed crackled to life as a red light blinked on. “Who may I ask is calling so dreadfully late?”

“Hi Rarity!”

“Pinkie Pie? Whatever are you doing here at this time of night; is everything all right, dear?”

“Abso-tute-a-lutaly!” Pinkie chirped. “Me and-” she glanced over at Sonata, “uh, a friend have a favor to ask. Can we come in?”

A brief pause followed, but the speaker crackled again. “All right, I’ll be down in a moment.” The red light winked out and Sonata tilted her head at Pinkie.

“Why didn’t you say I was here?”

“Well,” Pinkie grimaced and rubbed the back of her head. “So far my friends haven’t exactly been happy to see you. I figure I’d better explain everything first, so before Rarity comes down you hide off to one side so that-” she found herself interrupted as the door swung open, “... aw, fudgesicles; here we go again.”

Rarity, a length of measuring tape draped over her neck and with red-framed glasses perched on the tip of her delicate nose, blinked and offered a smile that was a mix between polite and concerned. “Hello Pinkie, what brings you… to…” She trailed off as her eyes fixed on Sonata and narrowed. The Siren blushed a little and bowed her head under the unscrupulous, scrutinizing gaze, her hands clasping behind her back reflexively.

“Rarity, I can explain,” Pinkie put her hands up defensively. “I know how this looks, but hear me out! Sonata isn’t-”

“Uwa-HA-HAAAA!!”

Rarity’s sudden, excited squeal startled them almost as much as the act of her grabbing Sonata by the arm, physically dragging her into the building and then up the stairs at a speed that could only be considered breakneck, leaving Pinkie standing alone on the sidewalk with naught but an open door and little idea of what had just transpired. She stood there in the warm night breeze for a moment longer, blinking.

“... Eh,” she finally shrugged, stepping through the door and pulling it closed behind her.







“Terribly sorry for being so abrupt with you before, dear. I’ve been ‘in the zone’ all evening, but I just couldn’t quite decide how to proceed with this new dress for Rainbow Dash without being able to see it on her.” Rarity said as she deftly folded over a seam at Sonata’s side. “Your skin isn’t quite the same shade of blue as hers but it’s very close, and you’re about her size as well, if a little shorter in the legs. Oh, thank you ever so much for agreeing to help; I honestly have no idea what I would have done had you not come when you did.”

“Eh-hehe,” Sonata chittered nervously and blew a strand of the seven-colored wig she was wearing out of her eyes; eyes that were unable to keep themselves from constantly flicking down to the pins that the fashionista was quickly and expertly sliding into the material mere fractions of a centimeter from her skin. She swallowed visibly. “No problem!”

“So whaddya say Rarity?” Pinkie said as she spun dizzily on a nearby stool. “Can we borrow your car?”

“Absolutely not.”

Pinkie’s eyes widened for an instant as she lost her balance, toppling off the stool. Her elbow struck the edge of a small table covered in discarded fabric remnants, dumping the entire pile on top of her as she hit the floor. Pink arms flailed for a moment before she resurfaced, a scrap of green silk draped over her head.

“Aw! Why not?”

Rarity tilted her head so she could look at Pinkie over the top of her glasses, her eyebrow reaching heights that would’ve made even Applejack proud.

“Oh,” Pinkie sheepishly regarded the mess she’d created. “Good point.”

Rarity shook her head and returned to her work. “Really, after everything you’ve told me that you two have been through tonight did you really expect me to help you get behind the wheel of another vehicle?”

“But then how are we gonna get to Ponyville?” Sonata asked.

“There,” Rarity narrowed her eyes, “that’s a bit better. What do you think?” She stepped back to admire her work as Sonata turned so she could see herself in one of the nearby mirrors.

She was draped in a nearly floor-length gown that began as a deep indigo where it wrapped over her right shoulder, leaving the opposite one bare, and transitioned fluidly from cool blue and green tones through intense yellow and orange before ending in a vibrant, striking red near her feet where it was trimmed with a soft white fabric that gave the impression of puffy clouds. The front was cut shorter than the back, showing off the metallic gold heeled sandals and accompanying straps that criss-crossed up Sonata’s calves to just below her knees.

Pinkie, finally free of the pile of fabric, dusted herself off and joined Rarity, her mouth falling open as she finally got a good look at the Siren. “Wow! Sonni, you look super-cute!”

“Really?” she blushed, turning this way and that to take in every angle.

“Hm,” Rarity mused, one hand on her hip while she tapped her cheek with the index finger of the other. “I’m still not quite sure I like the way it hangs in the back.” Sonata deflated visibly.

“Is my butt too big?” she frowned and ran a hand over her backside in an attempt to smooth the dress out. “I thought Aria was just kidding when she told me I should audition for that Lord Mixalot guy’s rap video.”

“Oh, no not at all, dear!” Rarity held up her hands defensively. “I just need to make a few more adjustments to make sure the dress is fitted properly, then no one will even noti- I mean, it will look splendid.” She hesitated. “Though I suppose this is about as far as I can go without having the actual Rainbow Dash here for a fitting. Ugh, convincing that girl to sit still for more than a few minutes is always dreadfully difficult… still, I suppose I’ll figure something out eventually.”

“Does that mean I can take off this itchy wig?” Sonata asked, pointedly scratching at the offending headpiece.

“Of course,” Rarity smiled. “Really, thank you so much for your help. I have to admit, I expected you to be a little more distressed over the... ‘events’ of this evening.”

Sonata shrugged. “It’s not like it’s the first time I’ve been chased by the cops or stuck in a big, smelly crowd. Actually it kind of reminds me of Woodstock.” She shuddered. “Ugh, that was the worst!”

Rarity gave her a wry grin and cleared her throat gently. “Actually, I was referring to the, um, Battle of the Bands.”

“... Oh!” Sonata nodded as the correct synapse finally fired somewhere in her head. “Yeah, that did kinda suck.”

“Well, in any event, I’m happy to see that you aren’t holding a grudge about it,” Rarity smiled as she lifted the wig from Sonata’s head. “Pinkie Pie seems more than willing to give you the benefit of the doubt and treat you as a friend, so it would hardly be proper for me to do anything less.”

“Does that mean you changed your mind about the car?” Pinkie sidled up to the fashionista with a smile, receiving an eye-roll and a sigh in return as the fashionista carefully set the wig on the styrofoam head from which it had come and carried it to a shelf on the far side of the room.

“No, but I suppose I do owe the two of you something for your assistance, unintended as it was.”

“Ooh!” Sonata waved her arms excitedly. “If you have any tacos we’d take those!”

“I’m afraid I can’t be of any help to you there, but now that I think of it...” she trailed off before turning back to them with a cunning smile. “I may have just the solution for you.”

Pinkie and Sonata both perked up as Rarity opened one of her seemingly endless supply of closets and pulled out a large rack of colorful, trendy clothes.

“Get changed, girls,” she said with a delighted sparkle in her sapphire eyes. “We’re going clubbing!”

> This is Nacho Mama's Club...
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Rarity, what kind of club did you say this place was?” Sonata said as she stared up at the odd building before the trio. “It seems… different.”

The wide, two-story structure was built of plain red brick, but the first floor featured a long row of closely-spaced, tinted plate-glass windows just a touch too dark to give away any real interior detail. Smack in the middle of the building a rainbow-colored awning that declared the establishment to be named MacMaren’s hung above a set of double doors flanked by a pair of well-muscled men in matching, pristine white suits. 

As the girls watched the doors opened, releasing the telltale piano and old-style synth of a disco-pop song into the street. A pair of young men with vibrant hair and skin tones, their arms about each others’ shoulders, emerged and strode off together, alternating between hushed words meant only for themselves and buoyant, echoing laughter in the otherwise quiet Canterlot night.

“You’re quite astute,” Rarity chimed in, her designer heels clicking against the pavement as she tugged the hem of her sequined, baby-blue minidress down a bit further over her black leggings. “MacMaren’s is, in truth, much more than a simple dance club. It is a gathering place for those weary of the mindless modern ‘music’ of today’s internet-fed youth and their incessant quest for deafness, but it’s also so much more than that.” She continued on, her eyes starting to glimmer as she spread her arms before the entrance.

“This is a place of expression; a mecca for Canterlot’s finest artistes, from designers such as myself to musicians and poets, forward-thinkers and free spirits who refuse to let society dictate their tastes, be it for fashion, art, entertainment, the lifestyle they lead or the company they choose to keep!”

“Wow,” Sonata said breathlessly as her wide eyes took in the club with a new light, “and here I thought it was just a gay bar.”

Rarity cleared her throat quietly. “Yes, well, among other things I suppose one could technically refer to it as a ‘gay bar’,” she huffed, complete with a set of air quotes. “Regardless, we should be able to secure you girls a ride to Ponyville here.” She paused, lips twisting into a confused, pensive frown. “Suddenly that statement strikes me as being a little ironic.”

“Aww yea! Sounds ‘aight to me, homeslice!” Pinkie said. Rarity’s frown deepened into a scowl.

“Would you puh-lease stop talking like that?”

“Whatchu mean, dawg?” Pinkie asked, crossing her arms and bending her fingers into some strange form of pseudo sign language. She was wearing a set of baggy black pants, high-top sneakers that had gone out of style before she had even been born, and a bulky blue hoodie. A heavy gold chain with a blinged-out stopwatch and a wide-brimmed black hat finished off her chosen ‘clubbing’ outfit. “I’m jus’ keepin’ it real, yo; ya gotta repr’zent!”

Rarity fixed her with a simmering stare, causing the pink girl to grin awkwardly.

“Hehe… I can try to tone it down a notch or two.”

“But how are we gonna get in?” Sonata frowned as she played with the studded bangles on her wrists, the only items she had kept from her usual attire aside from the black strap where her pendant had previously hung. “I mean, I’m way old enough to drink, but I don’t exactly look it, y’know?”  She had traded the rest of her outfit for a simple but tight-fitting black t-shirt with a stylized blue treble clef front and center, a pair of lavender capri pants, and dark purple pumps that added a few inches and gave the impression that she was actually the tallest of the three girls.

“Leave that to me, darlings,” Rarity said with a flourish. Pinkie and Sonata fell into step behind the fashionista as she strode right up to the club’s doormen, one of whom the girls recognized as a classmate from Canterlot High. He smiled when he saw them approach; his blue-skinned partner merely watched with a dispassionate frown, which looked all the more intimidating half-hidden behind his large nose-ring. 

“Hello Bulk, hello Iron,” she greeted them in turn with familiar ease. “Have enough room for three more tonight?”

“The boss says there’s always room for you, Miss Rarity,” Bulk Biceps replied. “You here to see him?”

“Indeed I am,” she answered with a nod, “I’m hoping to call in that little favor he owes me.”

“He’s workin’ the bar in the back, like usual,” the blue-skinned man’s voice rumbled as he crossed his beefy arms and turned his attention from Rarity to the girls behind her, “but don’t get any funny ideas. Boss’ guests or not, we don’t serve alcohol to minors. If you want a drink, you better stop and think!”

“YEAH!!” Bulk shouted and flexed, his jacket nearly tearing from the strain. His cheeks swiftly reddened when he saw the girls’ startled expressions. “Uh, sorry.”

Rarity laughed awkwardly as she led the others forward. “Duly noted, as always. You two take care now!” Sonata and Pinkie offered the bouncer duo smiles and waves, and in Pinkie’s case a small cupcake. Once the girls were inside, the Bulk held up his prize and took a bite.

“See?” he said to his stone-faced partner. “Ya gotta be friendly, man.”

“Shut up and give Iron Will a piece.”







With colorful lights dancing and retro-pop pumping, the inside of MacMaren’s was as lively and vibrant as the girls expected. Spreading out before them was a single, expansive room packed with laughing, chatting patrons filling a variety of modern-style tables, booths, and what even looked like a wide waterbed with no fewer than six individuals with drinks in hand reclining comfortably on its pillow-strewn surface. The right wall of the room was dominated by a full-size stage with its royal purple velvet curtains currently drawn, and in front of it was a sizable dance floor--complete with the obligatory spinning discoball high above--that was currently unoccupied.

“It’s… it’s beautiful,” Pinkie breathed with wide, sparkling eyes. “Rares, Sonni-D, with you two as my witnessessez, I Pinkie Promise-no! I swear on my autographed, first-edition copy of The Art of Fun that one day I, Pinkamena Diane Pie, will throw the world’s most stupendifferous, spectaculamazing party in this… very… room!”

“Ooh, can I make the fruit punch?” Sonata asked, dancing in place. “Don’t listen to what Aria says; I’m really good at fruit punch!”

“Deal,” Pinkie said, sealing the bargain with Sonata via fist bump, complete with finger flourish and pretend explosion sounds.  

“Come along, girls,” Rarity beckoned them as she began to weave through the sea of tables and booths toward the long, polished bar at the back. Most of the seats were taken, but luckily there were a trio of unoccupied stools near where a lone man wearing a sleeveless white shirt was tending bar, his back to them as he quickly and efficiently mixed an entire tray full of drinks with seemingly little effort. From his swaying hips to the bobbing, flamboyantly-orange hair on his head, his whole body moved in time with the music. His muscled purple arms, bare save for white cuffs at each wrist, danced across the bottles and tumblers as he worked, filling glass after glass in serpentine, fluid motions.

Rarity slid herself up to the bar, resting an elbow on it and her chin in her own hand as Pinkie and Sonata took the stools to either side. After a moment, she politely cleared her throat. The bartender’s head snapped up even as his hands finished the last of the drinks as if on autopilot..

“Well, well, look who it is,” he said without turning around. “If it isn’t the Teenage Queen of Fashion herself.”

“Come now, Mister Magnet, flattery will get you nowhere,” Rarity rolled her eyes and sighed in mock annoyance. “Far be it from me to stop you, however; please continue.” The bartender spun to face them, revealing a long fu-manchu moustache that matched his coiffure perfectly and hung low to frame a black bowtie, but was not big enough to hide the sparkling white smile on the man’s face as he threw his arms wide.

“Rarity!”

“Steven!” Rarity echoed as they both leaned forward, taking each other by the shoulders and kissing the the air on either side of the other’s face in a grand display.

“I haven’t seen you in weeks!” Steven pushed her back to arms’ length and shook his head. “You look fabulous! How have you been?”

“Oh, you know how it is,” she waved her hand vaguely. “The work of a fashionista is never done.”

“I’ll say! Rarity’s always super-busy!” Pinkie said, bouncing up next to the pair. “As if going to high school, running your own business, and being in a rock band wasn’t enough, now we’re also two-for-two in defending the world from interdimensional aliens!” She turned to Sonata with a suddenly serious face. “No offense.”







Halfway across town, a certain individual sat bolt upright from a dead sleep and sneezed loudly. She sniffed and glanced around her darkened bedroom in confusion, blinking repeatedly as she tried to see through the tousled strands of red and yellow hair that the sudden motion had left dangling in front of her face. After a moment she let out an airy groan and flopped back onto her pillow.







“None taken,” Sonata shrugged.

Steven regarded the two girls. “And who might these young ladies be?”

Rarity’s eyes widened. “Oh! How rude of me! Steven, these are my friends, Pinkie Pie and Sonata Dusk; Pinkie, Sonata, this stylish and handsome fellow is Mister Steven Magnet.”

“Oh, you,” Steven playfully slapped Rarity’s shoulder as she grinned. He looked to both of the other girls with a smile. “Any friend of Rarity’s is a friend of mine! Welcome to MacMaren’s!” He quickly glanced up and snapped his fingers in the direction of a pair of waiters, both dressed in sleeveless shirts like his own, who collected the drink trays Steven had mixed and carried them off to the various customers who had ordered them. “Now, to what do I owe the pleasure?”

“We’re on a taco run!” Sonata said, while Pinkie beamed and nodded. Steven stared at them for a moment, blinking.

“Beg pardon?”

“Hm, perhaps I should explain,” Rarity said, lacing her fingers on the bar in front of her. “Earlier this evening there were some… events that unfolded rather poorly for Sonata and her friends. She had planned on trying to cheer them up by bringing home her favorite takeout, but she and Pinkie have been having a bit of a rough go of it.”

Steven shook his head and gestured to a set of double doors to the right of the bar. “Well, I’d love to help, but I haven’t even bothered restocking the kitchen since Gustave quit.”

“Actually, I was thinking of something a bit different,” Rarity said. “You still live out near Ponyville, yes? Perhaps you’d be willing to give Pinkie and Sonata a lift to the Taco Bell there once you close up for the evening?” She flashed him a sly grin. “I’d be willing to consider this as that favor you owe me after last year’s... incident.”

“Hmm…” Steven slowly stroked his moustache as he eyed the girls in question, who flashed him a pair of too-innocent smiles. He let out a prolonged sigh. “I’m sorry, ladies, but I’m afraid I still don’t think I’ll be able to help.” Pinkie and Sonata visibly deflated, accompanied by a thin, squeaky sound reminiscent of air escaping a balloon.

“Why ever not, darling?” Rarity pouted.

“Well, I don’t have a problem giving you girls a ride, but I’d been planning on just crashing at Iron’s place after closing up instead of heading home. At the rate things are going I’ll need to stay open all night if I want to even come close to breaking even.”

“Whaddya mean?” Pinkie asked as she looked around the populated club, “This place seems pretty jumpin’ to me!”

“I don’t see anybody jumping,” Sonata cocked her head to the side. Pinkie giggled and Rarity rolled her eyes, but Steven just smiled and shook his head.

“It’s just an expression, honey.”

“Oh!” Sonata breathed. “Phew! I was worried; those people on the bed would probably get in trouble otherwise.”

Steven lifted one orange-crested brow and twirled the end of his moustache between his fingers. “Anyway, sure, it looks good in here now, but I had live entertainment billed for tonight, and then they went and cancelled on me!”

“How rude!” Rarity scoffed, and Steven nodded his head vigorously.

“Oh, I know, I know! I got a call twenty minutes before she was supposed to show up claiming that she couldn’t make it due to breaking an ankle falling off the back of an outdoor auditorium, or somethingorother,” he said, turning around to wipe down the space he had been mixing drinks. “Puh-lease, you’d think that for someone claiming to be the world’s greatest and most powerful magician she would at least be able to come up with a better excuse than that.”

Rarity and Pinkie winced and exchanged pained looks. Sonata just stared straight ahead with a perfectly vapid expression.

“Anyway, the magic show everyone came to see was supposed to start half an hour ago!” Steven continued. “I managed to keep most of the crowd in their seats with a complimentary round of drinks, but now they’re starting to trickle out and I simply don’t know what else to do!” With his last admission, his voice broke and his shoulders began to heave in overly exaggerated sobs.

“Um,” Pinkie furrowed her brow, “is he ok?” Rarity nodded softly and sighed.

“Yes, this is sort of his ‘thing’, as t’were.” She handed her small clutch bag to Pinkie and made her way around the closer end of the bar, placing both hands on Steven’s back and rubbing gently. “There there, Steven, everything will be all right. One evening of poor sales is hardly reason to fret. Why, Carousel Boutique once went an entire week with only the sale of a few coats and a pair of custom handbags! A few nights from now you’ll be back in the black and will have forgotten that this night even happened.”

Remarkably, Steven’s shaking subsided, and as he turned Rarity offered him a silk handkerchief to dry his tears. “Yes, you’re right… thank you Rarity, you always know just what to say.” He leaned in and enveloped her in a heartfelt hug which she happily returned.

“Wow,” Sonata whispered to Pinkie, “she’s good.”

“You’re quite welcome,” Rarity said, “though I am sorry, girls, but it looks like we’ll need to find some other way to get you to Pony...ville…” She trailed off, her forehead knitting in concentration for an instant and drawing confused looks from the others before she leaped back from Steven’s embrace with an excited glint in her eyes.

“IDEAAAAAA~!” she exclaimed, positively hopping in place. “Steven, do you still have that karaoke machine? The one with more than one microphone?” He nodded.

“Sure, we use it every Tuesday.”

“Then I think I may have just the solution to both our problems,” Rarity grinned even wider, making a sweeping gesture that included all three girls. “We’ll be this evening’s entertainment!”

“Say whaaaaaat?!” Pinkie shouted, while Sonata merely frowned in further confusion.

“You three?” Steven nervously tugged at the ends of his moustache.

“Oh, don’t sound so concerned, Steven,” Rarity chided. “We may not have our instruments, but Pinkie and I are both quite musically inclined, and Sonata--w-well, Sonata has years of singing experience!”

“A lot of years!” Pinkie stage-whispered to Steven as she leaned across the bar.

“Um…” Sonata started to speak.

“Just think of it!” Rarity said, pulling Steven abruptly to her side as she waved a hand across the room full of patrons. “We’ll be your entertainment, all these paying customers will be happy, and you’ll be able to close in plenty of time to give Pinkie and Sonata a ride to Ponyville! It’s perfect!”

“Uh, I kinda-”

“That’s a great plan, Rarity!” Pinkie squeed, her thuggish outfit even more out of place as she jumped up and down. “It’ll be like a party, and there ain’t no party like a Pinkie Pie par-TAY!”

“Guys, I don’t think that-”

“Well, when you put it that way, how could I refuse?” Steven grinned. “Very well, ladies! You’ve got yourselves a dea-”

“HEY!”

The sudden outburst turned all heads to Sonata, who blushed a little at the attention.

“Um… there’s kind of a little problem with this plan,” she said, her hands clutching one another near the base of her neck. “I can’t sing anymore.”

“Oh dear... that is a bit of a problem,” Rarity put a finger to her cheek in thought.

“That’s ok, Sonni!” Pinkie said. “Rares and I can do all the singing and you can just lip sync if you want to!”

“I… I still don’t really like this idea,” Sonata backed a step away from the others, finding sudden interest in looking at anything but their faces. “Can’t we, like, just tell some jokes or something?”

“Nonsense, darling!” Rarity waved her off. “Pinkie is right, and remember it’s just karaoke; terrible singing is practically en vogue, so if you decide you want to join in you certainly can.”

“T-terrible?” Sonata squeaked, taking another step back as her lower lip started to quiver. Rarity’s eyes widened.

“Oh! No darling, I didn’t mean-!” she cut herself off as Sonata whirled around, tears falling from her eyes, and made a hurried dash out of the club, nearly knocking over a waiter and several other people on the way.

“Sonata!” Pinkie called after her, but the Siren was already beyond hearing her. She shot an awkward frown back at Rarity before giving chase, leaving the crestfallen fashionista behind.

“Ooooh, my,” Steven said in a low voice, placing a comforting hand on Rarity’s shoulder as she slumped forward to rest her elbows on the bar with a sigh.

“Yes,” she frowned, “‘oh my’, indeed.”

> Food for the Soul
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sonata stormed out of MacMaren’s at as close to a dead run as her platform shoes would allow, throwing the doors wide and eliciting a surprised yelp from Bulk Biceps as one smacked him in the arm. She took another few hurried steps out into the street before slowing to a stop, glancing left and right as she sniffed, her shoulders shaking with every failed attempt to keep from crying.

Bulk rubbed his elbow lightly as both he and Iron Will exchanged concerned looks, and were woefully unprepared when the door burst open a second time, slamming into Bulk’s face and releasing a pink, blue, and black blur.

“Sonata!” Pinkie Pie ran after the other girl. Bulk swayed, his unfocused eyes rolling around comically in their sockets as the door slowly swung closed, and his fellow bouncer enjoyed a throaty, gravelly chuckle at his expense.

Pinkie slowed to a stop a few feet away from where Sonata waged a losing battle with her emotions. Hesitantly, she reached out. “Sonata…”

“Go away!” The sudden, angry shout not only made Pinkie withdraw her hand, but take a step back. “L-leave me alone!” Sonata’s voice wavered and quickly lost any semblance of forcefulness as her whole body became wracked with powerful sobs. She clapped a hand over her mouth in a vain attempt to contain the sound, but there was nothing she could do to stop the torrent of tears that now poured forth. Pinkie’s throat tightened as she felt her own eyes grow moist. She took a deep, shaky breath as the Siren’s suffering cut at her own heartstrings.

“I’m not gonna do that,” she said with more conviction than she actually felt. “Please listen to me, okay Sonni?”

Behind the girls, Will and Bulk exchanged another look. Will jerked his head toward the club, and Bulk nodded as he frowned and rubbed his nose. The two of them slipped inside, pulling the doors closed gently behind them.

“I’m sorry for what Rarity said about your voice,” Pinkie began. “I’m sure she wasn’t trying to be mean; that’s not how she is. Please don’t be mad at her.” 

Sonata shook her head ever so slightly, and the tremors shaking her subsided a little. After a long moment, she took a shuddering, broken breath.

“She’s right, though. She said it… Adagio said it, too, but I… I didn’t listen.”

“What do you mean?” Pinkie blinked.

“Adagio said I didn’t understand how serious losing our magic was,” Sonata sniffled. “I… we lost our home when we got kicked out of Aquastria for causing trouble. We lost our bodies when we got banished here.” She paused, shaking her head slowly. “Our voices… they were all we had left. My voice was the last, tiny little bit of me that was still me, and now it’s… it’s…”

The tears rushed down her cheeks with renewed purpose as Sonata finally surrendered herself to them. She slumped to her knees, hands cupping her face as sorrow and frustration slipped through her fingers to spatter against the asphalt below.

Sonata jumped a little as a pair of arms wrapped around her, and a warm body pressed against her back. She hadn’t even heard Pinkie kneel down. She felt something drip on the nape of her neck. “P-Pinkie…”

The only response she received was a slight tightening of the impromptu hug. Despite everything, Sonata found herself smiling bitterly and clutching the hands in front of her, their fingers weaving together as they held on tight and cried as one.

After a long minute, Sonata’s erratic breathing began to settle, and with another large sniffle she took in a slow, calming breath.

“Pinkie?”

“Yeah?”

“My knees kinda hurt.”

“Mine too,” Pinkie giggled.

“... And I think there’s a car coming.”

“Whoop! Time to go!” She sprang up and helped Sonata to her feet, walking her to a nearby bus stop bench. “Better?”

“Yes… no. Maybe? I don’t know... ” Sonata shook her head and frowned as she sat and began nervously wringing her ponytail. “What am I supposed to do now? What good is a Siren who can’t sing? Can I even still call myself a Siren?” Her eyes widened. “If I’m not a Siren then… what am I?”

“Hey,” Pinkie took on a serious tone as she knelt down and took Sonata’s hands in her own again. She looked directly into the former Siren’s eyes and smiled softly. “I don’t know the answers to all those questions, but if there’s one thing I do know, it’s that who you are is more important than what you are.”

“... I’m Sonata Dusk,” Sonata deadpanned.

“Hee hee, exactly!” Pinkie laughed. “You love tacos and fruit punch, and you love singing, too! You’re a little silly, but also a whole lot of fun to be around and you have tons of great stories that I can’t wait to hear. You might’ve done plenty of mean stuff in the past, but now you’re spending all night running around trying to do something nice to cheer up your sisters, and I think that counts for something,” she paused, taking a deep breath, “but most important of all you’re my friend, and I’m yours. That’s who Sonata Dusk is, and voice or no voice I wouldn’t trade her for all the cupcakes in Canterlot.”

Sonata finally broke into a real smile as a different kind of tears welled up in her eyes. “Thanks, Pinkie.”

“You’re welcome!” Pinkie beamed. “Now, you wanna head back inside and give that microphone a twirl?”

“Um,” Sonata blanched, one hand reaching up to touch the black strap around her neck. “I dunno. I don’t know if I can… I mean, I don’t know if I even want to make music anymore without my voice.”

“Silly-nata! Music doesn’t come from your voice,” Pinkie reached up and delicately poked Sonata in the sternum, “it comes from in here.”

“What, like, my lungs?” Sonata blinked. “I guess that makes sense.”

“No!” Pinkie shook her head and grinned. “Music comes from your heart, doofus!”

Sonata’s eyes widened. “Oh.” Her lips then curled into a frown as she knit her brow. “I don’t get it.” 

Pinkie stood, and with a warm smile offered her hand to the seated girl. “C’mon; I’ll show you.”

Sonata hesitated, biting her lip. Her gaze was fixed on Pinkie’s outstretched hand as a cyclone of emotions swirled in the pit of her stomach. After what felt like another thousand years, she closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and reached out.







The background music inside MacMaren’s faded away. The lights dimmed, quieting the anxious crowd as the club fell into near-complete darkness. Like a bolt of lightning accompanied by the first powerful notes of their singing, a single bright spotlight illuminated Rarity and Pinkie at center stage, back to back with microphones in their hands. 

Sonni, that sad expression just ain’t right.
We know that your night has been so full of strife,
But now, it’s time for you to shine so bright.
Trust in us and come and be a friend for life!

The music--synth keyboard backed by electric guitar and a firm baseline--swelled up alongside their voices. The spotlight split into two, following them as they separated and walked to opposite sides of the stage. As their final note trailed off, the lights winked out only to be replaced by another, softer blue glow back in the center where Sonata Dusk now stood, eyes wide and microphone clutched tightly in both trembling hands.

The song transitioned to dulcet, soothing tones. Sonata took a deep breath and raised the microphone to her lips.

I was hurt and confused
there was emptiness in my heart,
and I lost what had made me special
I didn’t know where... to start.

She cringed. It was just as she feared. Her voice; her once smooth, rapturous voice was gone, replaced by something completely alien to her ears. Cracked, just like the pendant that had been shattered with it. Broken.

She squeezed her eyes shut, fighting to keep her tears contained. She wanted to run. She wanted to throw the microphone to the ground and just hide, but something made her look to the side, toward Pinkie. Even though she was standing outside the light, Sonata could see her smile; not the wide, toothy grin she used so often, but one that was softer and infinitely more meaningful.

Pinkie gave her a firm nod, and suddenly she didn’t feel quite as scared anymore. She closed her eyes again and swayed back and forth in time with the music.

Like a bowl with no punch,
like a taco that has no cheese,
I needed a hand and you offered;
You heard my plea...

Purple and pink lights lit up on Rarity and Pinkie respectively, and they walked back to the center, circling around Sonata as they took over the vocals.

You went and gave friendship another look,
a tiny little spark was all it took,
and then...
it gave you hope again.

The stage lit up in full force, glimmers of light arcing across the room as even the club’s disco ball kicked on. Sonata smiled as she improvised a simple dance routine, the girls following her lead in tandem as a short musical bridge played. At least losing her amulet hadn’t affected her rhythm. 

Suddenly, Pinkie stepped right up to her; her bright soprano branching out.

I’ve been with you all evening,
and working to earn your trust.
The friends you’ve been waiting so long for could be us!

Pinkie spun away just as Rarity leaned in from the other side, her smooth alto purring in beautiful counterbalance to Pinkie.

You might never have had a real friend
but right now this is it.
It might be just a small, simple thing,
but you have to admit...

With an ever widening grin on her face, Sonata picked up her cue and ran with it, putting more feeling into her words and hardly slowing even as her voice tried to betray her.

I wanna take a chance and make you believe!
I think that I can change; just wait and see!
This time,
I'm finally gonna sing this song of mine!

The three of them joined together as one for the chorus.

‘Cause really, that sad expression just ain’t right!
We know that this night has been so full of strife,
But now, it’s time for us to shine so bright!
Trust this feeling and you’ll make some friends for life!

Sonata could hardly believe it. The crowd was cheering for them! No Siren magic, no tricks, and what was more they didn’t seem to mind her voice at all!

A surge of confidence and warmth filled her being, welling up from deep inside in a strange and wonderful way she’d never experienced before. Her whole body shook with the sheer force of the emotion overtaking her, which she could only describe as pure, unadulterated joy.

I won’t need any magic
as long as we’re side by side!
Every smile’s enough,
and your warmth is so divine!

When I needed a friend you knew it,
and you came through.
My heart’s never been so full,
and it’s thanks to you!

As she crescendoed, she felt it: a tiny tickle on the sides of her head and down her back as her ponytail got just a little bit heavier. It was similar to what she felt during the Battle of the Bands, but this time it was… cleaner; more invigorating.

The audience gasped. Sonata’s hands darted up to her head for an instant, and found exactly what she expected: a pair of soft pony ears. She smiled and looked to Rarity and Pinkie, who both bore a spectacular glow and their own temporary pony appendages and extended hair. 

The crowd was getting their magic show after all, it seemed.

We know you've never felt like this before,
you never really knew what friends were for.
It’s true;
that magic’s always been inside of you!

Pinkie and Rarity’s voices blended together flawlessly, and as the final chorus of the song began, Sonata joined in to create a harmony so powerful that the walls themselves shook and left everyone in the club speechless with awe.

And really, that sad expression just ain’t right!
We know that this night has been so full of strife.
That’s cool, ‘cause it’s time for us to shine so bright!
Trust this feeling ‘cause it’s now or never,
join in laughter, now and ‘ever!
Take my hand and be my friend for life!

The song came to an end, but Sonata could barely bring herself to notice. The audience roared. Their cheers, whistling, and calls for an encore were nearly deafening, but Sonata couldn’t have cared less.

It didn’t matter if her voice was still broken. It didn’t matter that she was crying again; that tears of joy were streaming down her face for all the world to see.

As she stood on stage, her darkest hour barely behind her, and with her new friends holding her hands on either side, all that mattered in that moment was that she finally understood. She finally knew.

For the first time in her immortal life, Sonata Dusk knew what it meant to truly sing.

> Friendchiladas
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The club was literally still quaking with the cheers and chants of the audience when the three girls slipped backstage, their pony ears and elongated hair evaporating into the ether along the way. Rarity turned to the others and grinned.

“Well! That certainly went even better than I-!?”

She cut off as Sonata threw her arms around both her and Pinkie, folding them into quite possibly the tightest hug they had ever experienced. Considering that they had both been on the receiving end of hugs from Pinkie’s sister Maud in the past, that meant quite a bit.

“Thank you!” Sonata practically squealed, her face slick with happy tears. “Thank you both so much! I never knew; all this time and I never knew!”

“Sonata,” Rarity breathed in a hoarse whisper as her face took on a tinge of blue, “a little looser please, darling...”

“Oh! Sorry sorry!” she laughed as she released them and stepped back, her shining smile not faltering for an instant as she began hopping in place. “I’m just so excited! This is huge! I-I never even realized what it was supposed to be like!”

“What what was like?” Pinkie hopped right along with her, her own smile just as bright.

“Singing! That was soooo amazing! I’ve been doing it for soooo long, but this time it was soooo totally different! It was like… like a million-billion of the tastiest tacos in the world all at once! Warm and zesty and super-sweet and refreshing and crisp and… and… woosh!” She shivered in delight and jumped into the air, completing a full spin before she landed. “Is this what it feels like every time you guys sing?”

“Well, I don’t know that I would use that exact metaphor, but, yes,” Rarity nodded with a smile, “the sensation is quite invigorating.”

“I’d say it’s more like a fluffy, puffy, super-soft, mega-moist chocolate seven-layer sheet cake with vanilla and strawberry frosting and rainbow sprinkles!” Pinkie Pie drooled.

“Ooh, that sounds good too!” Sonata’s eyes widened. “Lemme see if I can make it feel like that!” 

She cleared her throat and took a deep breath, but instead of a smooth sound like she had just produced on stage, her voice was once again scratchy and off-key. Rarity and Pinkie both fought the urge to cringe. Sonata scrunched up her face in dissatisfaction and tried again, with the same result.

“... Huh.”

“What’s wrong?” Pinkie asked with a frown.

“I’unno,” Sonata shrugged, “it was working a second ago.”

“Indeed; you sounded absolutely beautiful once… oh!” Rarity gasped. “Your voice improved once your magic came out!”

“You mean when I grew the ears and stuff?”

“Does that mean she can only sing when she’s in Super Sailor Pony Saiyan Rainbow Friendship Ranger Mode?” Pinkie pouted.

“For the last time, we are not calling it that,” Rarity held up a finger, “but yes, it certainly appears that way. We’ll have to ask Sunset, or perhaps Twilight about it later; I’m sure one of them will have some kind of theory.”

“So,” Sonata scrunched up her face once again, this time in confusion, “I can only sing well… when I’m singing?”

“Erm,” Rarity hesitated, “more or less?” 

Sonata turned her gaze up and twisted her lips into a pensive frown. “... Ok, I can work with that.”

“There you girls are!”

The trio turned as Steven Magnet pushed through the curtains with a huge smile on his face. “You three were absolutely fabulous! Spectacular! Magnificent!” He gave them each a brief hug in turn as he spoke. “I’ve been running clubs for twenty years and I have never in my life seen a routine like that!”

“Yes, well,” Rarity blanched and gave him an awkward grin, “perhaps a bit of an explanation is in order.”

Steven shook his head. “Oh, honey, it can wait! You need to get back out there!” 

Three sets of eyes blinked at him.

“We do?” the girls answered as one, only for Steven to huff and nod vigorously as he pulled the curtain open a tiny bit, unmuffling the sound of the raucous crowd.

“Of course you do! Are you hearing this? They’re going bonkers out there! If you don’t keep going they’re liable to start tearing the place up!”

Rarity gave him another Applejack-esque raised eyebrow, while Pinkie pursed her lips and Sonata merely crossed her arms. Steven put his hands up in defeat.

“Ok, I’m being just a scootch overdramatic, but you know what I mean!” He released the curtain and stepped forward cupping his hands together in a pleading gesture. “Please, girls, you could make this the single biggest night MacMaren’s has ever had!”

Rarity tilted her head. “Hmm… it’s Sonata’s decision,” she announced, turning to face the former Siren with a sly smile as Pinkie started grinning and bouncing on the balls of her feet. “What do you say, Sonata? Want to give it another go?”

Sonata bit her lip, glancing at the curtain briefly before looking back at Steven.

“You’re still gonna drive us to Ponyville so we can get tacos later, right?”

“Oh, honey,” Steven said with a deep, flourishing bow, “if you do this for me, I will buy you as many tacos as you can eat!”

“Ooh, you’re probably gonna regret that!” Pinkie stage-whispered.

Sonata expertly twirled the microphone in her hand and grinned the happiest, most confident smile she’d worn all evening.

“Then let’s rock this place!”







And rock it they did.

That night, MacMaren’s proved to be everything that Rarity had claimed it was and more. People flocked from across the city, summoned by text messages and Ponstagrams and MyStable posts from the audience as they spread the word about the amazing trio performing there. Iron Will and Bulk Biceps had their hands full with an ever-growing line reaching down the block, and Steven went through his entire list of backup waiters, waitresses, and two additional bartenders to deal with the crowd. It was indeed the single most profitable night the club had ever known.

On stage, a performance more than two thousand years overdue continued unabated. At times, Rarity and Pinkie Pie found themselves actually struggling to keep up with Sonata as she moved from one song to the next with hardly a breath in between. She took requests, she made up songs on the spot, and even managed to get Steven to join them on stage for a rendition of ‘It’s Raining Men’ that would be talked about for months. From pop to disco, punk rock to hip-hop (which Pinkie in particular enjoyed), from soulful ballads to a brass-band swing song that Sonata claimed she hadn’t sung since 1945, no genre of music was left untouched, and the crowd cheered for every second of it.

At the center of it all, Sonata shined like a star. The emotional high she was riding carried through from one song to the next and surged through the newly-formed bond of friendship with the others, keeping their magical ears and ponytails firmly in place. She drank in every instant, savouring sensations she had been missing out on her whole life as if she were attempting to make up for lost time. Pinkie and Rarity were more than happy to let her, even as the performance moved into its third straight hour.

Yet, there was one individual who was decidedly unhappy about the girls’ spectacular, moving, and most notably very loud show…







The walls of Cranky Doodle Donkey’s house thrummed with every overwhelming oonts of bass from the damn club across the street. He mashed the pillow down harder over his head and groaned before tossing it to the floor in frustration. Frowning as he looked around the room, the ever-present light of the street lamps outside made it possible for him to count exactly how many picture frames he was going to have to straighten in the morning.

It was all of them.

Cranky groaned again and clenched his fists. Next to him, his wife Matilda, ever the epitome of a heavy sleeper, squirmed a little as she rolled over on her other side.

“Jus’ tune it out like we talked about, Doodle,” she mumbled in a sleepy daze. 

“It’s been going on like this for hours,” he groused. “Where does Steven get off raising that kind of racket in the middle of the night? He knows people are trying to sleep! I've talked to him about this!”

“Then you can talk to him again in the morning.”

“I suppose...” he admitted with a sigh. His eyes wandered back over the room, lazily taking in details in a vain attempt to bore himself to sleep, until they came to rest on the cordless phone on top of his dresser. “No; you know what? I've had enough!”

“Whaa?” Matilda raised her head slightly as Cranky threw back the covers, stepped over to the phone, picked it up and started dialing. “Oh, Doodle, not again; just come back to bed.”

Cranky didn’t answer. There was a short silence until someone on the other end picked up.

“Hello, Canterlot Police? Yes, I’d like to report a noise complaint...”

> Like a Good Chinese Dinner...
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“From the darkness surrounding you drifts the deep rumblings of something beginning to stir. Many somethings, you realize, as the noise begins to slither forth from all sides. Heavy footfalls shake the stone beneath your feet, and the sounds draw closer… closer…

“You heft your torches higher, straining to peer through the blackness. Your blood runs cold as the first massive shape shambles into the torchlight. Ogres. About a half-dozen of them, approaching sluggishly from all sides. With horror, you realize that the old wizard has tricked you… you’ve walked right into his trap.”

“Wait! No! Bull! They can’t just sneak up on us; I had Maredenkainen’s Faithful Diamond Dog cast!”

Shining Armor looked up from behind the Oubliette Master’s screen perched on the hood of his police cruiser and raised an eyebrow at the nerd wearing a Star Trot uniform, one of the four Oubliettes & Ogres players in this impromptu session.

“Um… no you didn’t.”

“Yes I did!” 

“No, I’m pretty sure you didn’t,” another player, this one in an orange martial arts gi and with a spiked black wig piped up. 

Star Trot nodded vigorously. “Yes, I did! Back in town you asked if I needed anything from the general goods merchant, and I said ‘no’, but I wanted material components for all my spells, and then I cast Maredenkainen’s Faithful Diamond Dog!”

“Are we out of Cheetoes?” a guy clad in the white plastic armor of a Stormtrooper asked as he searched through the pile of empty junk food bags on the ground near his feet.

“Here,” Shining tossed him the last pouch of cheesy snacks.

“Oh, wait,” said the last player, a girl in long fantasy robes and elf ears. “I do remember the part about the spell components!”

“See?” Star Trot gestured to her and looked at Shining. “And then I cast Maredenkainen’s Faithful Diamond Dog!”

“Okay, but you didn’t,” Shining rubbed his temples, “you never actually said you were casting the spell, so now there’s ogres, okay?” Star Trot grumbled something under his breath but didn’t protest further. “Now, everybody roll for in-”

“Car Fifty-one, Dispatch, over.”

“One sec,” Shining said to his players and reached for the radio at his shoulder. “Fifty-one here, go ahead Dispatch.”

“Got a noise complaint for you to check out. Ten-oh-nine Tockar Lane.”

Shining grimaced. “Old man Doodle again?”

“Got it in one, have a cigar.”

“Oh, c’mon! I had to handle him last time!”

“You know how many friends in high places he has, Shining, if we ignore him he goes to the Captain; if the Captain ignores him he goes to the Chief… it’s just not worth the hassle. We drew names from a hat like we always do, and you won.”

“Yeah, that’s what you always say, too,” he grumbled while making sure he wasn’t holding down the talk button on his radio, drawing snickers from the players in front of him before he silenced them with a glare and a sigh. “Roger that, Dispatch, I’m en route. Fifty-one out.” He turned his attention back to his fellow gamers as he began gathering up the papers and dice in front of him. “Sorry guys, duty calls.”

“We understand,” Spiky-hair said. “We’re, um… we’re sorry about the whole ‘angry mob’ thing from earlier. Thanks for not arresting us.” The others nodded and mumbled their own apologies.

“It’s fine, nobody got hurt and that’s the important thing,” Shining pointed at them, “but next time you decide to go all Revenge of the Nerds on somebody, do me a favor and make sure you know what’s actually going on first?” He was met with a round of nods and handed the gaming materials back to Elf-ears, along with four scraps of paper with his phone number written on them. “All right, you guys have a good time at the rest of the convention, and in case you’re interested, me and a couple of other guys run a regular O&O session every Sunday. Everyone’s welcome.”

“Oh, sweet!”

“Awesome.”

“I’ll bring the Mountain Dew!”

“Thanks, Shining!”

A grinning Shining Armor waved his new friends goodbye and hopped back into his cruiser with a contented sigh. As he started the car his eyes were drawn to the place where his driver-side mirror used to be, and he frowned. While it bothered him a little that the girls he had been chasing and the ones who’d set him up had all vanished by the time he’d gotten out from underneath the dorkpile, there wasn’t much he could do about it now. He still had that blonde girl’s license and registration, but he could wait to follow up on that until after he’d dealt with old man Doodle’s noise complaint. 

All in all, he really doubted that he’d be seeing that pink terror again tonight.







Being a married man, Shining Armor was no stranger to being wrong, but this… this was starting to get ridiculous.

He stood just inside the doors of MacMaren’s, his mouth hanging open and his eyes transfixed on the stage where a particular pink terror, along with her ditzy blue friend and a third girl he didn’t recognize, were rapping of all things. He was pretty sure ‘icing, icing baby’ weren’t quite the lyrics he remembered, but he had to admit that the girls weren’t half bad. The pulsing sea of people overflowing the dance floor seemed to agree, and as the trio finished up their song the crowd let out a deafening cheer that sounded like it belonged in a football stadium instead of a reasonably small nightclub. He rubbed one ear and winced, laughing inwardly at the notion that this might be the first legitimate noise complaint the Canterlot Police Department had ever received from Cranky Doodle Donkey.

After taking another moment to let the situation sink in, Shining took a single step toward the stage before halting in his tracks. He eyed the crowd--which was enthusiastically cheering and shouting their support and adoration for the girls he was planning to arrest--and then recalled what had happened the last time he had encountered them in a large throng of people.

He smirked and changed course, working his way instead over to a set of doors that he hoped would eventually lead him backstage.

“Not this time, ladies.”







“Oh my,” a rosy-cheeked Rarity breathed and fanned herself with her hand as the girls stepped back behind the curtains for the first time on what felt like forever. “I’ve put in my fair share of time on stage at fashion shows, but I don’t believe I’ve ever performed nonstop for quite so long in all my life.”

“Are you okay?” Pinkie asked with a frown.

Rarity nodded back. “Yes, yes, I’m fine, I think I simply need to sit down for a moment to catch my breath.”

“I’m sorry,” Sonata pouted as she picked up a simple wooden stool from the side of the backstage area and set it out for Rarity to use. “Am I overdoing it?”

“Nonsense, darling! Please, enjoy yourself!” Rarity waved her off as she sat. “I… to be honest, I feel absolutely dreadful about how I acted earlier.” She looked down and away, suddenly unable to meet Sonata’s gaze. “I should’ve realized how important your voice was to you, but back at the Boutique you seemed as though you were hardly upset at all and I assumed… well, suffice it to say it was incredibly insensitive of me, and I apologize.”

“For realzies?” Sonata blinked, leaning in close to Rarity’s face. “No, for realzies for realzies, are you really for realzies right now?”

“Um,” Rarity’s eyes flicked back and forth. “Yes?” Before she had even really finished the word, she found herself the recipient of another of Sonata’s industrial-strength hugs.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me!” Sonata laughed. “If you hadn’t asked me to sing I never would’ve found out what I’ve been missing all this time! If you girls hadn’t won the Battle of the Bands I might never have found out!” She released her hold on Rarity and stepped back to arm’s length, a warm smile and a single tear glittering in the corner of her eye. “How can you be sorry for making this the best night of my whole life?”

Rarity smiled and pulled Sonata back into another, much more ladylike hug.

“D’aww,” Pinkie said, her own eyes tearing up.

“Jeeze, after hearing that I’m almost sorry to have to break this up.”

The girls’ heads whipped around, their eyes widening as they beheld an imposing form stepping out of the shadows deeper backstage, dim light glinting off a polished badge and a set of handcuffs that clinked together menacingly as they dangled from a belt loop.
> Nacho, Nacho Man
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Oh snap! The PoPo!” Pinkie gasped.

“Hi Mister Officer!” Sonata grinned. “Did you come to see the show too?”

“Uh, sure,” Shining Armor furrowed his brow at her. “Something like that.”

“Wait just a moment,” Rarity cut in as she stood, “this is the policeman you’ve been on the run from all night?” She made a great show of letting her eyes look him up and down as an approving smile crept onto her lips. “You didn’t mention that he was handsome.”

“Married,” Shining rolled his eyes, holding up his left hand to show off the gold band on his ring finger. Rarity put on a slightly over-dramatic pout as he turned his attention back to Pinkie’s trembling, transfixed form. “Now, you and I need to have a talk, young lady.”

“Leave Pinkie alone!” Sonata stepped between them and spread her arms, leading Shining Armor to cross his own arms over his chest.

“Miss, don’t make the same mistake your rainbow-haired friend made. Move aside.”

“What?!” Pinkie gasped with a panicked expression as she somehow switched places with Sonata, gripping Shining Armor by his collar with both hands. “What’d you do to Rainbow?”

“Um,” Shining swallowed, trying to ignore the sudden invasion of personal space, “Actually, I didn’t really do much of anything to her now that I think about it. A bunch of little cosplayers framed me to look like a pedophile, and--wait, why the hell am I telling you this?!” He frowned down at her. “Do you have any idea how much trouble you’re in?”

“Uh, w-why no, Officer,” Pinkie said, beads of sweat forming on her forehead as she released and smoothed his collar awkwardly, “I’m super-duper sure that I don’t have any idea what you’re talking about.”

“Really?” Shining deadpanned. “Lemme give you a quick rundown. We’ll start with disturbing the peace and work our way up to resisting arrest and public endangerment, and you tell me if any of it starts to ring a bell; how’s that sound? First of all…”

As Shining Armor began lecturing Pinkie Pie, Sonata felt a light tug on her arm. She turned and saw a mischievous glint in Rarity’s eyes.

“Give me thirty seconds, darling, then grab Pinkie and follow me!”

“Huh?” was all Sonata managed before Rarity deftly spun and slipped through the stage curtain, the crowd’s renewed cheering at her appearance muffled as the thick fabric fell back together. Sonata blinked a few times and frowned before turning her attention back to Pinkie and Shining Armor.

“... And then I said ‘oatmeal; are you craz-!”

“Wait! Stop!” Shining Armor pinched the bridge of his nose. “What exactly does any of that have to do with me chasing you all over the city? And did you say something about an aardvark?”

Pinkie turned white, or at least a lighter shade of pink, as her eyes suddenly found interest everywhere but on the officer standing before her. “No! I most certainly did not mention a giant aardvark balloon that I accidentally set loose when I was five, causing several thousand dollars of damages to the surrounding buildings. I-I’ve never even been to the Marecy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade!”

Shining’s eyebrows rose in tandem while Sonata let out a gasp. “Oh-em-gee! I remember that year! Pinkie, that was you?”

“No!” Pinkie sputtered, hands gripping her pink curls as she glanced back and forth between the two of them rapidly. “And I also wasn’t at all traumatized by the dozen or so police officers who managed to finally pry me off the rope I’d been holding onto the whole time the balloon was blowing around, either!”

A long moment of silence passed in which Shining and Sonata could do little but stare.

“Huh,” Sonata finally managed. “That explains a lot.”

Shining Armor shook his head. “Sorry, but whatever you did or didn’t do when you were a kid doesn’t justify breaking the law in the here and now.” In one swift motion he slipped the handcuffs from his belt and ratcheted one side of them around Pinkie’s arm. “You’re under arrest.”

“W-wait!” Pinkie cried out, but Shining was already locking the other half of the cuffs to his own wrist.

“I’m not taking any chances. I have a feeling that if I don’t do this then you’re still gonna find some way to vanish right out from under me the second I look away.”

“Please Officer,” Sonata pouted as Pinkie continued to whine and tug ineffectually against the cold steel, “Please, Pinkie’s my friend--my best friend, and she’s done so much for me tonight, and… and we haven’t even gotten any tacos yet! Can’t you pleasepleaseplease make an exception this one time? For… for friendship?”

Shining Armor turned to face Sonata’s quivering lips and tear filled, saucer-wide puppy dog eyes, and smirked. “Not bad. With a face like that most guys probably would’ve ‘hnng’d’ and hit the floor already. Fortunately, having endured years of weapons grade, diabetes-inducing cuteness from both my little sister and my wife, I’ve had plenty of time to build up a tolerance for it.”

Sonata’s poutyface continued unabated, prompting Shining Armor to frown with a sigh.

“Look, I get what you’re trying to say, and believe me, most of the time I’m more than willing to let stuff like this slide when it’s clear that the person is sorry for what they did, or that it was an accident, or whatever… but some of the stunts Pinkie here has pulled tonight are dangerous, not just to herself but to others. Nobody’s gotten hurt yet, but if I let you two go off and do whatever else you want and someone does? Then it isn’t Pinkie’s fault, but mine because I could have stopped you before things went too far. Do you understand?”

Sonata’s expression softened just a little, and Shining gave her warm smile.

“Hey, look, it’s not like she’s gonna end up going to prison or anything. A trip to the station to file some reports, a couple hours in a holding cell while we contact her parents to come pick her up, and that’s pretty much it. If you want, you can tag along too and keep her company.”

“Hm,” Sonata put one hand on her hip and a finger to her chin, “That doesn’t sound so bad.”

“You’re right, that doesn’t sound bad at all!” Pinkie grinned as she bounced up and down next to Sonata. “In fact, you should get started on it right away! It’s been fun talking to you Officer but I think I hear my Grammy Pie calling, so we’ll be going now; bye!” She grabbed a confused Sonata’s arm and started dragging her toward the curtains.

Shining Armor’s eyes flew open as he turned and held up his arm. Instead of his culprit’s wrist, the dangling handcuffs now held a slightly squished pink balloon with a surprisingly good caricature of Pinkie’s face and hair--her eyes crossed and her tongue sticking out--drawn in black marker.

“How the-?!” Shining cut himself off, quickly refocusing on the curtains that were still swaying slightly from the two girls’ timely escape. He rushed forward, not even bothering to remove the handcuffs or free his rubbery captive, and threw the curtains wide as he stepped onto the stage, only to be instantly blinded.

“And here he is!” Rarity’s voice echoed over the club’s speakers, but Shining didn’t register what she was saying at first as he held up a shielding hand against the powerful spotlight aimed at him and attempted to scan the crowd. “As promised, ladies and gentlemen, the next act for tonight’s entertainment, the Canterlot Police Department's own-” she stole a quick look at his badge, “Officer Amor!” The crowd erupted in cheers as Shining finally processed what he was hearing.

“Wait, what?! What’re you talking about? And it’s Armor, not Amor!”

“Trust me darling, Amor is a much better stage name considering what I told them you’d be doing,” Rarity whispered as she passed him the microphone and gave him a chaste peck on his cheek before skipping away with a giggle and a dainty wave. The crowd cheered again and began cat-calling as Shining stared after her.

“What I’d be…” he trailed off.

He was on stage in a gay bar and dressed in a police uniform. The crowd was hooting and hollering and whistling at him like there was no tomorrow, and he was pretty sure he saw several raised hands--male and female--in the crowd holding one or more dollar bills. Lastly, if his required Spanish course from back in his high school days hadn’t failed him, then ‘amor’ meant…

Shining looked out over the excited, expectant, and disturbingly hungry-looking audience and felt sweat start to bead on his skin as his cheeks turned a bright tomato-red.

“Okay, yeah, I walked right into this one…”