“We should banish her.”
“But she helped save us!”
“She’s evil!”
“We should give her another chance.”
Prismia lay on the ground near the extinct fire pit. The base of her horn throbbed, every muscle in her body aching. Her adrenaline having worn off, an entire day and night without sleep had finally caught up to her. Taking short, sharp breaths, she kept her eyes firmly closed while the villagers milled about.
Her final, last-ditch effort… such a crazy plan… had actually succeeded with amazing results. She knew that Kavi walked willingly to meet her doom, had known that her own power was insufficient enough to do a thing about it. But taking back the Crystal Pendant itself…
At first it had rejected her; how dare the former bearer try to take back her relinquished strength? Yet with the second attempt, it had obeyed its new bearer’s desire to share the power within. And if the new bearer, the true bearer said it was okay—that she needed to share—then why should it deny access to its well?
Tapping into the pendant’s power again felt strangely alien, even when she fired off blast after blast at the horrible beast. Finally, after throwing it over the horizon, Prismia stopped casting; her power was limited after all, and she had drained the pendant’s reserves. Completely spent, Prismia fell to her knees and bowed her head, just as Kavi murmured something about their victory and did the same.
Then, Kavi disappeared completely after that flash of light, but not before Prismia caught a glimpse of the fresh image adorning her pink flank.
I thought I would be the one… but she is far more worthy to bear the title.
Amid her musings, Prismia became aware again of the voices surrounding her. Conversations spiked and ebbed between ponies as they tried to piece together the morning’s unprecedented, rapid-fire series of events. Her head pounded with a steady beat, like a metronome had taken residence in her skull.
A hush fell over the crowd as a blue light filtered through Prismia’s eyelids. Ignoring the pain in her head and her horn, she opened her eyes and looked up; her mouth fell open.
Shining in the sky, a giant yet familiar blue heart descended toward the ground. When it touched, the heart flashed and faded away, leaving Kaviyayu Samanka in its wake. Head down, eyes closed, she spread her wings and stomped the ground before lifting her head and opening her eyes.
Kavi the pegasus no longer stood before the villagers. Instead, Kavi the alicorn smiled, her horn gleaming with a cerulean aura to match both the Pendant around her neck, and the heart on her flanks.
“K-Kavi… what…?” Stamska stepped forward to greet his daughter, but stopped just short of contact range. “You… you’re alive?”
“Wow, Kavi has a horn just like Eva!” Avran cheered as he rushed past his father and nuzzled her. “That is so… wow! Just wow!”
“I don’t understand. We thought… you just vanished…”
Kartanya stepped up next to Kavi and brought a hoof to her cheek. “You’re taller. Your wing… it’s not broken anymore, and you have a horn now too. What—”
“Yes, what have you done to my daughter?” Samanka asked, rounding on Prismia. “What illusions are you casting now?”
“Mother, please. Leave her be. She has suffered enough.”
Kavi hugged her siblings then slowly walked forward, Avran and Kartanya at her side; she planted a kiss on Stamska’s cheek before continuing her approach. She stopped to hug Samanka, holding on a little tighter to her than the others.
“This is no trick, Mother. It’s me, I promise. I’m just a little different now.”
“Kaviyayu…” Samanka buried her face into Kavi’s shoulder and wept, clutching her tighter still. “My beautiful girl, how I love you.”
“I love you too, Mother,” Kavi whispered. She backed out of the hold and looked at the mare on the ground. With a smile, she extended her right hoof. “Stand with me, Prismia. There are things that everypony needs to know about both of us… and I want you there with me.”
Prismia looked around at all the curious faces. After taking stock of them, she turned back to Kavi and nodded, raising her own hoof and allowing the smaller pink one to grasp it. As they both stood and faced the herd, Kavi motioned with her left wing for her family and held her head high.
“Everyone, I have something important to tell you.”
The Sun’s light crested over the distant Smokey Mountain by the time Kavi finally concluded her story. Only she and Prismia remained standing, everypony else having sat to hear the tale of her struggle, her meeting with Celestia, and the acceptance of her birthright.
“You see, everypony? Even though Prismia came here seeking nothing but power, she unintentionally taught me something that I’ll never forget. If ponies consider you a part of their family—even though you may not be bonded by blood—then you know their love is real. I was in a very dark place when Prismia helped me realise that. And even after I thought you’d all turned on me, when I learned the truth… I was so, so happy inside.”
Kavi smiled at Prismia, who looked down with a faint pink tinge in her white cheeks. “Prismia has, in her own words, ‘seen the light,’ and wishes to make up for her bad choices. I know that many of you might not want to right now, but I hope you can find it in your hearts to eventually forgive her. After all, she’s the reason we’re still here right now. We all owe her our lives.”
She backed away from Prismia until she stood with her family at the front of the assembly. “Thank you, Prismia. Thank you for everything.”
She bent her forelegs and presented her horn to Prismia. Ignoring the gasps behind her, she kept her head bowed until, finally, she felt and heard the telltale rustle of others following her lead. Soon, everypony in Zahara had dropped to their knees.
“Uh… Everypony, please, this really is not necessary.” Prismia flushed a deeper shade of red. “I appreciate the sentiment, really, but, uh, you can all get up now.”
“You should enjoy your moment in the sun, Prismia. Such moments do not come often.”
The voice seemed to come from everywhere. All whispering together, the villagers looked around and to the sky; who had spoken?
“Look!” Avran pointed to the east. “I knew it wasn’t just a campfire tale!”
From out of the trees, a green figure stepped forward, moving slowly on stilted wooden legs. Its pallid, straw-like mane and tail hung straight and limp toward the ground. As it reached the square, it fixed its faceless head in Kavi and Prismia’s direction.
The stick pony stopped and began to glow, becoming a figure of solid light. Wings and a horn erupted from its sides and its forehead as the mane and tail lengthened and shimmered. Its legs widened and took on an elegant curve. When the golden glow faded, another pony stood in its place. She looked around at all the stiff, shocked faces and smiled.
“Hello, my little ponies. It is such a pleasure to meet you all,” said their Sun Goddess.
Sunset beamed its last golden vespers upon the village as a delicious array of smells drifted through the square. Ponies had brought seats and tables from inside every house and arranged them in a large square around the fire pit. Celestia spent most of the day sharing tales of the outside world while others prepared a grand feast in honour of their heroes and the arrival of their Sun Goddess.
After ending her latest story—drawing a few laughs from Kavi’s family—Celestia broke off and stared at the Sun. She closed her eyes and gave a contented sigh before opening them and catching Havijhan’s eye. She nodded, earning the motion in return.
Havijhan cleared his throat, banged his hoof on the table three times, and boomed over the noise. “Everypony, pay attention please. You are about to witness something that nopony in our village ever has before.” The herd’s voices gradually died down, and he smiled as parents called in their foals to sit back down. “It has truly been a remarkable three days in our humble village, three days that will be forever recorded in our history. Now, at the closing of the third day, let us bear witness to an amazing feat. Your Highness—” he looked to Celestia “—whenever you are ready.”
All eyes focused on Celestia as she stood from the table and walked gracefully to an empty space. Facing the square with the reddening sky at her back, she stood on her hind legs and, horn alight, rose into the air with four precise flaps of her body-length wings. All eyes fell upon her body, completely encased in a golden glow once again.
Behind Celestia, the Sun slid down out of sight, plunging the village into darkness softened only by the firelight. Seconds later, up came the Moon, rising higher and higher, stars appearing in the inky sky to join it. Celestia’s glow faded, her hooves returning to solid ground as the area filled with the sound of stomping hooves and whistling.
“Thank you, everypony,” Celestia said, returning to her seat at the table. “I am pleased that you enjoyed the show. But while the Sun may be gone for another day, please remember also the beauty of the night. See how the Moon shines its gentle radiance upon us, and how the stars twinkle in their dark canvas. Embrace the cool air, the quiet woods, the sound of crickets and owls as they come out to play. Never forget to appreciate the night as much as the day, for it is always there even while you lay your weary heads to rest and await the next sunrise, and the peace and tranquility it brings allows you to drift into slumber and dream of your desires.
“Ponies of Zahara, I give you the night.”
Everypony clapped their hooves together as Celestia ended her speech, beaming around at them all. She turned to Prismia. “Now I think the time has come for ponies to hear your story, Lady Prismia. In fact, I too am anxious to know such an intriguing individual’s history.”
Prismia gulped and eyed the villagers, some staring at her with disdain, others with indifference… Yet among them were curious faces too, younger ones eager to see and hear another of her fantastical illusions. The sight warmed her chilled heart, renewed courage flowing through her blood. She sparked up her horn and focused on the crackling fire in the middle of the gathering.
At first, Prismia recounted her foalhood: how she had been neglected and unloved as a youth because of her condition and treated as a lesser equine in her city of Tall Tale. She moved onto the incident that caused her to flee her home and seek her own destiny. She spoke about roving from township to city to county, all the while telling her stories with the power of her special talent. She acquired a reputation as a talented showmare, even hiring her services out to private parties.
“One family had the most adorable little blue filly. Shining silver mane she had, to go with the light in her eyes when she looked at me. After her birthday party, she said she wanted to grow up and become great and powerful, just like me.”
Prismia smiled at the memory as the filly and her family vanished from the flames.
“Not long after, I was on a train—a kind of long, ponymade snake that can move hundreds of us at a time inside it—from Las Pegasus to Van Hoover, when I chanced a glance out of my compartment window. To my surprise, I saw a pair of two young ponies, huddled up next to the tracks as we passed by. Not a moment later, a mighty roar shook the sky.”
A red dragon emerged from a mountaintop cave in the flames.
“I watched the dragon breathe a plume of fire and turn atop the summit toward the pair of ponies, who were looking up at something else. A pink pegasus fell out of the air and landed on one of them as the dragon beat its wings and leapt off the summit.”
She shivered. “I… I didn’t know what else to do. They were surely going to become dragon dinner if nopony did anything. Without a further thought, I teleported off the train and landed outside. Of course I had forgotten all about the train’s momentum. As a result, I ended up rolling several metres when I reappeared, and I soon came to a crashing halt in some nearby shrubbery.
“After checking myself for injuries, I quickly pushed my way out of the bush and ran back to the south… though of course the ponies had already fled into the White Tail Wood by then, one of them carrying the pegasus on his back. The entire woodland border was already burning, having been in the firing line of the dragon’s attack. I knew then that I could do nothing to help them, and so—praying to Celestia for their safety—I made to set off along the tracks and wait at the next station for another train.
“But before I turned completely around, a flash of blue drew my gaze as an early dawn sunbeam lit up something on the ground. I watched the dragon circle over the Wood and then fly back toward the mountain. With the coast clear, I made my way over to the glimmer. There, lying on the ground…”
Prismia broke off and pointed at Kaviyayu.
“...was the Crystal Pendant. It must have fallen out of the pegasus’ saddlebag before she landed on the two others.”
A hush descended upon the herd.
“So, this Pendant,” Kavi said as she held up the Pendant with her aura. “This belonged to… that mare from the story of my brother’s death and the day I was found. She must have been… my mother. My blood mother.”
Samanka placed a hoof on Kavi’s shoulder. “Dear, we’re so sorry—”
“No, it’s okay,” Kavi said, though she brought her own hoof up to touch her mother’s. “Please, carry on, Prismia.”
Prismia nodded. “As I picked up the Pendant, it seemed to speak to me. When I slipped it over my neck… me, a mare who had never known love, wearing a pendant that generates and amplifies its power… Well, I think you all know what happened over the next twelve years.”
“All this time—” everypony looked toward Celestia, her eyes narrowed “—I could never figure it out. Ponies everywhere began to suddenly turn on each other. It was like they had… no more love left in them to care about others.”
Prismia bowed her head. “I am truly, most immensely sorry for the grief I caused the citizens of Equestria. Including you all here,” she added, waving her hoof around. “I abused and misused the power of the Crystal Pendant to terrible effect… but I could not not stop myself. I had become addicted to love, so much so that I sought only to take it from ponies. I was driven by madness, and I never even stopped to consider that… I could have tried earning it instead.”
“You have done many terrible things, Prismia,” Celestia said. She stood from the table and walked up next to Prismia as she swallowed hard and raised her eyes reluctantly to Celestia’s. “Had I ever caught you in the act, you should know that you would have been prosecuted to the full extent of Equestria’s laws.”
“I kn-know, P-Princess,” Prismia stammered. “I plead gu-guilty of my actions, and I am f-fully prepared to ac-accept the consequ-quences. Please, bestow a-a… any punishment upon me that you see fit.”
“Indeed, your crimes were most malicious, and performed with zero regard to others.” Celestia bowed her head. “You should, by all rights, be sentenced to a lengthy stay in the realm of Tartarus.”
Prismia shivered harder.
“However.”
Prismia looked up.
“Your testimony here tonight, coupled with the story that Kavi told me in our meeting this morning, have led me to suggest an alternative,” Celestia said. “I am instead sentencing you to a lengthy stay in the Canterlot Rehabilitation Clinic for Wayward Ponies. You will be effectively under house arrest, watched and surveyed every hour of every day as you undergo treatment.”
“I… yes, Princess.” Prismia slowly nodded. “Of course I accept your sentence.”
“That said—” Celestia suddenly smiled and draped a wing over Prismia’s back “—you must not consider it a prison. You will be given care, nurturing, and attention as their expert counselors assess and process you. There, you may yet learn the true values of love, kindness, friendship, and many other virtues that you were so deprived of as a foal.”
“Princess…”
Prismia blinked and looked to the night sky, her eyes shining. “Your mercy knows no bounds. This is… is one of the k-kindest things anypony has ever d-done for me. And after all I have done… the suffering I have wrought upon others...”
“There are no bad ponies, Prismia. Only bad choices.”
Kavi stood from her seat and walked over to the pair; she, too, placed a wing upon Prismia. “I told you back in your hut that it’s never too late to make up for your mistakes. Everypony can earn forgiveness, no matter what they’ve done in the past, if they truly want it.”
Ending her speech, Kavi looked at the herd and smiled. “You helped me save us all,” she said with a sweeping gesture. “That’s a great start.”
The Crystal Pendant gleamed in the dark.
“Now, let’s celebrate, laugh, and feast the night away!” she cried, punching the air. A cry rang through the square as everypony ravenously resumed their meals.
Kavi awoke early the next morning. She stretched her legs, pulling them back in as they connected with some unexpected company. She smiled a toothy grin at the sight of her entire family packed in around her on the bed, their chests gently rising and falling. Mother and Father’s hooves were touching, Kara had her tail over Kavi’s back and flank, and Avran had his head underneath her wing on the other side.
She chuckled to herself. I’d better not disturb them so early. Now, let’s try this…
She concentrated on her task; horn alight with a pale blue, she narrowed her eyes and stared at the spot where the side of Avran’s head rested against her side. The glow spread to a gap between them and nudged Avran until his head leaned against nothing but the aura. Keeping the image in mind, she looked next to Kara and focused on her rear. The aura spread further, lifting the braided pink tail off her own back.
Moving carefully, she slipped out of bed and turned around. She closed her eyes and gently dispelled the magic. Avran’s head rested upon the bed at the same time as Kara’s tail fell to her side.
Wow. I can’t wait to learn more about magic.
She brushed aside the beaded curtain of her family’s doorway for the final time, breathed in hard, and exhaled. The smell of morning dew and musky air welcomed her to the cool morning. The Moon hung low, emitting its dying light over the treetops. The sound of chirping crickets filled her ears. She took a moment to stretch properly, no longer encumbered by her family. With a shake of her head, she turned and trod down the three steps toward the fire pit, where final embers struggled in vain to ignite the remaining coals.
Celestia sat on a log next to the dying fire, a golden chariot and four pegasi wearing ceremonial armour behind her. Prismia stood at her side, engaging the princess in quiet conversation. She had her hood up, resembling a dark shadow in the early twilight. They looked up as Kavi approached, and immediately ceased their discussion.
“Good morning, Kavi,” Celestia said. “Are you ready to embrace your new life?”
“I am,” Kavi said, stopping short of Celestia. “I always knew I was different from my family. Not just in the way I look, but there were other signs too. I always had this yearning to explore, when everypony else was fine to keep to themselves here. Now I am finally free to see the world.”
She bit her lip. “Princess… will I be able to return here and visit whenever I like? I’d… love to show my family how I’m growing as I learn about my duties.”
Celestia nodded. “Any time you start to feel homesick, you may return. But know that once we leave, I will again restore the barrier I have maintained around Zahara for the past few centuries. It’s quite fascinating, really—Prismia here tells me she broke through it without even meaning to. The Pendant picked up on the love in all of your hearts and guided her right to you all, in spite of the barrier’s repulsion charm.”
“Barrier? What do you mean?”
“She means, Kavi—” Prismia lowered her hood “—that the reason Zahara stays so quiet, calm, and pure is because, for many centuries, anypony who drew near to this location either felt compelled to turn around, or remembered urgent appointments elsewhere and had to leave for them right away. Elder Havijhan told me about it last night, when he quizzed me on how I managed to find you all in the first place. It was an old agreement between Celestia and Havijhan’s ancestor, who desired his privacy before starting his own family here.”
“For all that time, I maintained our ancient agreement out of respect,” Celestia said. She looked around at the houses, the trees, the fields and the well. “And so many years later, Zahara remains a hidden sanctuary for those who live within its boundaries. When you wish to return, think hard about your loved ones, and the Pendant will guide you to them.”
She eyed the Moon. “The time for sunrise draws near. Do you think ponies would like to see me bring it?”
Kavi nodded. “I’ll go and rouse them.”
The Samanka family sat together, watching Celestia lower the Moon and raise the Sun. They and some other early risers cheered and clapped their hooves together after Celestia touched ground, the golden orb above bringing the day’s first light and warmth.
“Thank you, everypony,” she said with a bow. “I hope your day is as pleasant as your night was.”
She looked over her shoulder and waved a wing. Her guards brought forth her golden chariot, the interior large enough for four to sit side by side. “I thank you again for the most extravagant feast. It was lovely to see you all after so many centuries, but I must return to Canterlot. While you all seem completely self-sufficient here by yourselves, my ponies back home will surely panic if their Princess cannot be found, even for a day.”
She allowed herself a chuckle before opening the chariot door and stepping up into it. She lowered herself onto the seat and patted the velvet next to her. “Prismia, Kaviyayu… your new lives await. Let us be off.”
“Of course, Princess,” they said. Prismia stepped up and carefully took her seat next to Celestia. She waited a few seconds, but felt no pressure on the seat next to her. She tilted her head to the side.
“Kavi? Are you not coming?”
As she and Celestia glanced back down to their left, Kavi stood rooted in place, still as a statue.
“I… I thought I’d made up my mind, but… but…” She dipped and turned her head. “I can’t do it. I can’t do it, Mother!” She stepped back and rested her head against Samanka’s shoulder. “I’m not ready for this. It’s all happening so fast. Four days ago I was just a normal filly with a happy family in a peaceful village, and now I’m supposed to inherit some thousand-year-old throne and learn how to rule my own kingdom someday. It’s just too much!”
Kartanya, Stamska, and Avran all huddled into her as the tears began.
“Angel, this is your destiny—who you were truly born to be,” Stamska said. He kissed her cheek. “You should go with the Princess. She can offer you a better life than the one you have with us.”
“But my life is fine here!” Kavi argued. “I was happy before any of this happened.”
“Shhhh-sh-sh-sh. Calm down, baby.” Samanka stroked Kavi’s mane. “I’m happy that you have so loved your life. It means your father and I succeeded, and we couldn’t be more proud of you. But think about how you’ll feel if you stay here now that you know who you really are. You’ll spend every day wondering what this whole other life could be—the ponies you’ll meet, the wonders you’ll see, the things you’ll learn…”
Kavi broke away from Samanka, her eyes glistening. She wiped a hoof across her nose and nodded. “I just… if I go, I’m going to miss you all so much. And now that I’ve come to realise how much I love you all, I d-don’t know if I can leave you behind.”
“Hey, don’t say that!” Avran piped up as he wrapped his forelegs around Kavi’s neck. “We’re not going anywhere. You can come see us again whenever you want, right?” He released his hold, turned, and stared up at Celestia. “Can’t she, Princess?”
“Well, my dear colt, your sister will be quite busy learning how to become a princess herself,” Celestia said. “It is far from an easy life, but it is incredibly rewarding. And, of course, she will have to begin attending school, too.”
“Oh.” Avran hung his head.
“Buuuuut, I see no reason why she cannot come back to see you all every now and then, when she has the time.” Celestia flashed her smile.
“Yay!” Avran hugged Kavi again. “See, it’s okay! You can go.”
“I… well… I guess…” Kavi smiled and hugged her brother back. “If I can just come back, every few months or so, that… might be enough.”
She hugged her family one by one, then placed a hoof upon the chariot’s first step. She took a deep breath, let it out and turned back to Kartanya.
“You, Kara… you found me first. I will always be grateful.”
“I couldn’t not save you, Kavi,” Kara said, her own eyes welling over. “I lost a brother that day… but I gained a wonderful sister in his place. Both of you will always be in my heart.”
“And you’ll always be in mine.” Kavi wiped her own eyes as she turned back and stepped up into the chariot, taking her place next to Prismia. “It’s okay, Princess. I think I’m ready to go now.”
“If you are sure, then we should be on our way.” Celestia looked to the sky. “Gentlecolts, if you would, please.”
The four stallions all saluted Celestia, then pawed the ground. In perfect formation, they set off at a trot—
“Wait!”
Celestia held up a hoof and used her magic to tug on the reigns of her chariot. Its occupants all looked to their left, seeing Kara rear up and place her hooves upon the door.
“What is it, Kara?” Kavi asked, grasping her sister’s hooves with her own.
“I just thought you should know—” Kara blinked and smiled “—your birth mother… she called you Cadance. That’s how we named you. Kaviyayu, you are our cadence… our love song. Use that name when you go. Ponies will probably like it better. Just… keep the name ‘Kavi’ as our family’s own secret, okay?”
Silence fell again for a few seconds before they nodded together.
“We love you.”
“I love you too.”
Cadance nuzzled her sister for the final time and dropped down again, waving as the Royal Guard again accelerated and beat their wings, lifting themselves and their passengers into the air. Over the eastern treeline and into the clouds they flew, leaving the hidden village of Zahara behind them.
Awwwwwwww that's so sweet!
“One family had the most adorable little blue filly. Shining silver mane she had, to go with the light in her eyes when she looked at me. After her birthday party, she said she wanted to grow up and become great and powerful, just like me.”
TRIXIE!
Okay, so this story doesn't take place in the waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay long ago, like I thought it did...I think it was all the unique names that made me think that it was taking place llllllllllooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong ago... *reverts mind back to "Cadance isn't immortal for this story headcanon"*
Anyway, this is awesome and I am just so happy I could explode and and and *explodes*!
Great chapter, here. I like the little touches, like Trixie. [Striker tries to tamp down love for his favorite pony, fails and then shrugs]. ;) Also the bit with Celestia and the moon and night was rather clever, too. Good explanation for their names. I like it.
Also... I gotta admit. I wouldn't have been as forgiving regarding Prismia, there. But good on Celly.
Celestia trying to get everyone to see how beautiful the night is though, that was a really great touch.
This story's been so amazing-*sees incomplete status*
...Oh. Not over?
This was/is a lovely story on her origins. It expands alot on the base can't wait to read the ending.
5507509
I'm surprised that you of all people picked that up before anyone else. And you don't even know what it's from.
To be fair, the conflict I've told you was awesome for the last couple months ended up getting scrapped. What you just read, I had to come up with in a matter of days after I was told that the entire chapter (all 8.4k words of it) felt alien to the rest of the story.
But, if you keep watching this space for a few more days, you may yet find something different and interesting.
In any case, I'm glad you're largely enjoying the story.
Wow.
Good chapter as always. Looking forward to the ending.
Bestpone better make a cameo appearance.
5507524
Ah, so someone insisted you throw away the superior version. Hate it when that happens, especially when they give good arguments into their demands that make you think – – they could be right. Oh well.
I don't know where it's from? I thought it was taken from a certain bad-ass Final Fantasy villain in a certain bad-ass Final Fantasy movie. Is there someone else who says it that I don't know about?
5511558
Honestly I didn't pick you for a Final Fantasy guy. My bad.
As for "superior"... well, you'll see that version soon enough. You can make your own call there.
5511578
Dude, I practically grew up on Final Fantasy. I've been playing them since IV came out as II.
I figured you were going to release it as an 'extra chapter' after what you told me before. I maintain curiosity.
5511667
That's exactly the problem: you didn't depict it as dialogue. Celestia's speaking, but the vast majority of her words read like they're from a book, not her mouth. The way the story is written doesn't match the way anyone would tell the story in this situation, quotation marks be damned.
5511719
This is what I was going for.
The subtitles are effectively the Deku Tree talking to Link while these images appear. In much the same way, I imagine Celestia speaking to Kavi while what she describes happens before them. I tried to emulate that in the way that I transitioned into the flashback scene from Celestia's dialogue before the hr.
Transition to scene
vs
Transition to scene
Obviously, I did not pull this off as well as I'd hoped. Perhaps it doesn't translate into text as well it does on a screen.
5511746
I'll have to look at the video later, 'cause videos on websites not secured by the company are blocked at the office.
5511746
Okay, so I've watched the video. Your attempt at emulation didn't fit that kind of setup at all. Is the Deku Tree telling us about how it's raining, or the different colors of the goddesses, or describing the scenery at the same time as the goddess' powers, or point out that Triforce happens to be rotating while floating majestically in the sky beneath a pillar of light? No. In the video, we're being told only the general what happened, with no specifics.
That's not to say that all the descriptions in a scene like this are bad; obviously you need to give the reader some indication of setting. I just feel like you went overboard with it is all.
Must resist the urge too cry this chapter plus the accompanying songs just make it harder not too cry thank you for this incredible story too date.
5505357
Cadance has been shown to be about the same age as Shining Armour in the comics, (they went to school together and were in the same grade).
That's not to say that she isn't immortal: For that you just have to not have to worry about dying of old age, it's quite possible to be only a few seconds old yet immortal.
I know I was unenthusiastic about how the changelings were defeated last chapter, but this opener repeating everything we know with one or two little added details? Ugh. If there's anything I don't care for, it's being told everything that I already know.
Where the hay did 'Stick Figure Celestia' come from?
Not a bad end. It all sort of felt like this was the 'wrap it up' chapter, though; it didn't have a phenomenal impact on me, certainly not like the chapter "Master Passion Greed" did. I shall wait to read the bonus (canon) chapter.
Also, I don't know how you got this in connection with "Bye Bye, Beautiful." That song and the content of this chapter don't meld at all. You have curious sources of inspiration.
5523386
Little bit of extraneous detail, I guess. Maybe could have done without, but at least Prismia didn't dwell on it for long.
Do you not remember this?
Once a month, Celestia returned to the village under the guise of the stick pony and reinforced the barrier. Apparently, even with her disguise, not every young filly and colt can be trusted to be in bed after midnight, and they will swear that something really happened while the adults play it off as a dream.
That's good, because that's what it is. I didn't want the resolution to be as exciting as the climax. It's supposed to end on a calmer note.
Yeah, I mentioned as much in the author's note. Honestly, for this chapter alone, it was simply an appropriate title for the chapter and I didn't want to break the theme of naming chapters for songs.
So she was named Cadance all along? How convenient
Bam, Cadance is back!
Heh, I spy a Trixie cameo.
Interesting, so the barrier around the village bumps right up against a railroad? I'm assuming that the pair of ponies Prismia mentioned must have been Kartanya and Artax, and that the train was the thundering worm from the prologue. Nice to see the other side of the story, as well as the explanation for how the pendant got separated from Cadance and her mom or whoever that was.
What language are the names derived from?
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All is revealed in the "Author's End Note" chapter
And thanks for the faves.
The Trixie cameo and Celestial exalting the night sealed it for me. This story is beyond deserving my Top Fave. Wonderfully done, CV.
I spy with my little eye, an appearance of a character. TRIXIE!!
Yey.
But... Something is wrong here. Trixie is the same age as Twilight, And judging from the size of Cadence when Eva said she had a filly admirer, Twilight and Cadence would have been close in age.
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Eh, there's no reason why they have to be the exact same age. Trixie could be a few years older than Twilight. I always thought she was anyway.
Besides, only a year has passed between the events of (Bye Bye, Beautiful) and (Last of the Wilds). We don't know the precise age of any of the Mane Six at any given point in time, excepting the fact that Fluttershy is a year older than Pinkie Pie. However, I personally think it plausible that Twilight was about 8 years old when she took her entrance exam to Celestia's school, and (Last of the Wilds) is set no more than a couple months before the events of Cutie Mark Chronicles.
There's a tidbit of information in my extra chapter (which I still consider canon to the story) that sets the story in the year 989 AB (After Banishment), with Cadance being born in the year 977 AB, making her 12 years old in this adventure. At no point in the quote does Prismia mention any time period in which she visited Trixie. It might have been a couple years or a couple months earlier, and Trixie might have been 8 years old, 6 years old, 4 years old...
In short, I don't see anything wrong with the section about Trixie.