Wild Card: Two of A Kind

by Barrel-of-fun

One-Bull Stampede

It was a herculean effort on Ace’s part to keep a firm gaze levelled at Grante. The minotaur was a naturally intimidating opponent and the fact that he was blocking the room’s only exit only served to amplify that fact. Clutching his knife in one sweaty hand and a card in the other, the satyr began to consider his options.

Grante was clearly a better direct combatant than him. The minotaur enforcer had already displayed his awesome strength, not to mention his surprising speed. Those lethal axes didn’t allow for any mistakes either. No matter how fast Ace dodged, Grante only had to catch him out once to give the evidence room a new crimson paint job.

Ace frowned in thought as he took in his opponent more carefully. Other than his axes, Grante didn’t appear to have any other weapons or tools on him. The barely-fitting shirt didn’t exactly leave much room for concealed equipment. Perhaps that could be used against him?

The thief’s thoughts were interrupted as he was forced to jerk his head to the side, barely avoiding an axe that went whistling through the space where his brain had been a few seconds earlier. Ace watched as it slammed into the far wall, embedding itself there. A witty comment about Grante’s accuracy was hastily abandoned as the minotaur himself thundered towards him. Ace barely managed to throw himself out of the way, slamming into one of the shelves that lined the room as he did so. Grante carried on going, eventually skidding smoothly to a stop at the far end of the room at easily retrieving his axe from the wall.

“So are we going to do this or not?” Grante rumbled.

Ace’s eyes flashed between the minotaur and the now empty door before he grinned, “Nah, another time maybe?”

With a quick flip of his arm, Ace sent the card his was holding, a Seven of Diamonds, directly at Grante’s face. As soon as the card was away, he turned and began a mad dash for the door. Ace smiled as the room burst into light. Just as he reached the portal, the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end. Trusting his instincts, Ace threw himself to the ground, hands covering his head. Barely a moment later an axe head screamed overhead, taking a huge bite out of the door frame before it fell to the ground.

Over the sheer terrifying knowledge that he had just barely avoided being bisected, Ace noticed that it wasn’t a full axe that had come flying at him this time. It was simply the head of the weapon, a chain connected to the bottom of it that led all the way back to the handle that Grante was holding in his right hand. With his other axe, the minotaur was guarding his face, undoubtedly protecting his eyes from the blinding flash of the Diamond card. He lowered the weapon to reveal a smug little smile.

“You didn’t really think that I would fall for the same trick you use every time you hit one of our operations?” He shook his head in disappointment, “Do you really think we’re that stupid?”

Ace staggered back to his hooves and shrugged, “I kinda hoped. Chain-axes though? Really?”

Grante frowned, “What’s wrong with chain-axes? I like them.”

“I don’t know. It just…it seems a bit ostentatious you know?”

“This coming from the one who uses playing cards. Besides, I’ll have you know that chain-axes are a very practical weapon. People kept trying to run away from me.”

“Fair play then.” Ace conceded before whipping his arm forward in two quick motions, sending two cards flying directly towards Grante’s legs.

The minotaur’s impressive reactions allowed him to move one leg backwards and out of the way but, as he did so, it meant he had to put all his weight on the other leg, leaving it defenceless. The enforcer grunted in pain as his leg was hit with the strength of a rock flung from a slingshot. For a moment, he wavered, and it looked like his titanic bulk was going to fall. To Ace’s disappointment though, the minotaur rallied, slamming his other leg down and stabilising himself.

As soon as Grante was sure of his footing again, Ace was forced to dive away from the door, his only escape route. In a second, the enforcer had managed to cross the room and had his axes swinging in deadly arcs. Unlike his last charge though, this time the minotaur managed to control his stop earlier to swing about and continue attacking the escaping satyr. As soon as Ace had completed his roll and was back on his hooves he was springing into the air, an axe whistling past below him. Without a firm grounding though, Ace was left helpless as Grante’s other axe came about, looking to bury itself in the thief’s chest. He barely managed to get his knife up in time, the small blade looking pathetic as the axe slammed into it. Even with both hands holding the knife, Ace could barely prevent Grante’s casual backhanded swing from tearing straight through him. It was a testament to Iron Will’s skill at the forge that the knife didn’t simply shatter on impact with the much large weapon. Though he did manage to stop the blow from killing him, Ace was still sent flying by the sheer force of it, flipping once in the air to smoothly land back on his hooves facing his foe, his tail whipping out behind him.

Back in the doorway that he had started in, Grante smiled, “Well done. I thought for sure that I had you then. Even with the research I have done on you, you continue to surprise me.”

Rather than respond, Ace chose to finish this quickly. One swing of his arm sent three cards flying at the minotaur, who raised his axes defensively in response. Another swing, another three cards flew through the air. Ace spun on one hoof, bringing his arm round again to release another three cards. Flashes of light and brutal impacts slammed into both the axes and the minotaur’s body. With each hit, Grante let out a grunt of pain, a particularly powerful blow even managing to get a bellow from him. Ace was relentless though, continuing his dance. He was spinning like a dervish now, each spin, each movement, sending more and more cards at the enforcer. With each step he took, he got closer to his opponent and the escape that his foe guarded.

He was within range of the axes now, and they both knew it. With a furious roar, Grante gave up his defence and swung both blades towards Ace’s undefended chest. Simultaneously, Ace’s right hoof shot out, hooking around the minotaur’s sturdy leg, whilst the thief leaned back impossibly. Against anyone less flexible, Grante would have undoubtedly cut them in two and left a happy minotaur. But Ace had been practicing tricks like this in front of judging audiences since he was little more than a boy. Using the minotaur as tether, Ace let his entire body weight rest on his left leg as he leaned back.

Realising his mistake, Grante desperately tried to get his axes back from their overextended swing. But Ace was already right in front of him, the thief having recovered from his acrobatics with remarkable swiftness. A sad frown adorned Ace’s face as he gently pressed a final card to the minotaur’s chest. Instantly, Grante’s arms went limp, his axes falling from his hands with a clatter. He stared straight ahead, past the opponent he had been trying so hard to kill and into the far distance. Mouth opening and shutting in vain, Grante fell to his knees with a thud, brought down by a far inferior foe.

“If it’s any consolation,” Ace said, his voice soft, “I really don’t like using these ones. But you forced my hand.”

Stepping around the frozen giant, Ace silently left the room, casting one pained gaze back at the minotaur before he left. Without the satyr to hold it there, the card slowly drifted to the ground in front of the stunned Grante. From the card, two women levelled equally pitying looks at the defeated axe-wielder.

The Queen of Spades.

---

Ace grimaced as he quickly walked his way through the empty station towards the rear exit. Using the fear cards always left a bad taste in his mouth, despite the fact that they were probably one of the most effective weapons in his arsenal. As he walked, he pulled up his sleeve and checked on the state of his deck. He had used up an awful lot of cards in that fight, almost all of the weaker Clubs and Diamonds, had been thrown. Thankfully, the most powerful ones remained, ready for a dire emergency. They would replace themselves eventually, Ace knew, but it was still worrying to go for a while without some of his most reliable tools. Early on in his adventures he had discovered that, with time, the deck would replenish the cards that had been used. The time taken appeared to depend upon the strength of the card used. Weaker cards, like the Two of Clubs, would return in only a couple of hours. Ace wasn’t entirely sure how long it took for the stronger cards as he had carefully avoided using them. If a Three of Clubs could knock a pony out, what could a King, or even an Ace, do?

The satyr didn’t like to think about that much.

The few remaining Guards in the station were easily evaded as he approached the exit. The clattering of hooves had a tendency to give them away, allowing Ace to conceal himself and allow them to pass before continuing his journey. Stepping out into the open air, the thief took a deep breath of freedom and grinned. Things had looked a bit hairy back there for a bit, but he had pulled through.

He started a quick stride across the Guard’s empty training yard, passing through a large iron gate and entering the maze of alleyways. The scent of spilled beer, piss and the various debris of an uncaring city hit him instantly, stinging his eyes and reminding him fondly of home. He tugged at his coat, adjusting the cuffs slightly, before preparing to stride off into the familiar labyrinth.

“Hey,” A rough feminine voice called out from above him. Ace craned his neck upwards to see the predatory grin of a griffon. Spinning idly round one of her talons was a pair of handcuffs and the look in her eyes seemed to be daring him to try and run, “Heading my way?”

Author's Note:

Sorry I missed last week's update. Blame the brain farts.

Comments

[catfire13]

#BLAMETHEBRAINFARTS

[Sphex]

The enforcer grunted in main as his leg was his with the strength of a rock flung from a slingshot.

Nice chapter, though I found some typos. Most notably the one above but there was some other that I didn't keep track of while reading.

// Sphex

[The Shade]

[abronie]

But you forced my hand.”

*clapping*

Wait, the griffon is one of the cops as well, right? Great story man, looking forward to next chapter!

[SciGuy]

I do hope that minotaur comes back. I quite liked the banter between him and Ace.

[Rainbowblitz]

wif i can recall the ace of diamonds made a light as bright as the sun

[SoarinSoren]

Five seconds in and the lockpick is coming in strong. Oh boy.

[deathnote9847]

4929654 Something like that, but the actual description was the light of a star, and the sun is a relatively dim star, so it could have been even brighter.

[Potato Pride]

with the much large weapon.

I do so love the shiba inu.

[IkioStar]

4931243 POTATO! How are you, my friend?

[gcwg57]

I had forgotten what spades did. So they cause fear?

[Rainbowblitz]

4930774 byou got to remember im not talking about the earths sun im talking about equestria's sun

[Saki]

4931348 No, they stab stuff. Ace doesn't like killing.

[deathnote9847]

4931400 Still, if you think about it, Equestria's sun has a yellow light color, that would indicate a smaller dimmer star than say Sirius A, which has an apparent magnitude of -1.46 where as our sun, which would be a similar size to the equestrian sun has an apparent magnitude of 4.8 (for apparent magnitude, the lower the number, the brighter the star.)

[DezzarTac]

I'm glad I finally caught up in this story; Been avoiding it for awhile because I simply forgot how entertaining it was (been reading too many amateur stories with poor character dev. recently).

[Adjier]

And caught up. Took about fifteen minutes from the beginning to the current (ch 6). I'm impressed. Delightfully so.
I'm going to be watching this. Looks utterly fascinating.

~Adjier

[Potato Pride]

4931306 Dammit... Keep this sor of thing to PMs and my profile page.

[IkioStar]

4942235 Sorry, I just didn't expect to see your comment.