Dives and Dogs
The clouds were strange to walk on. Whilst the charm on him remained stable they felt firm, practically no different than a normal road. Yet, at the same time, they had a certain springiness to them. It was like walking across a bouncy castle whilst trying very hard not to bounce. Ace tried not to spare too much thought to this, though it took considerable effort to ward of the image of bounding up and down on the clouds. Instead, he turned his mind to his latest companion.
He wasn’t entirely sure what to make of Gale. She had a good head on her shoulders, no doubt about that, but at the same time she lacked the certain something that made a good thief. Ace had been working with criminals for a while and could recognize when someone didn’t have their head in the game. To him, there were three types of criminals. First, there was the reluctant ones, those forced to commit crimes for whatever reasons. They tended to be awkward and sloppy, as one would expect, and they often ended up getting caught before they even made it to the second stage. The next was professionals, which Ace proudly identified as. Crime was their livelihood, and they were damn good at it.
The last time was the most worrying. Those that committed crimes simply because they didn’t care about anyone else. They were predators, willing to chomp on everyone.
Gale was somewhere between reluctant and professional at the moment. It was clear she wanted to be a master criminal but she lacked the will to become one. Ace figured that she would tag along for a while before either taking the plunge or backing out. He wouldn’t mind her leaving to pursue a normal existence, his life wasn’t for everyone obviously.
He frowned internally, refusing to let any sign of worry reach his face, as he considered his other problem. There was almost definitely Black Brew Smugglers in Cloudsdale. The aerial city was just too good of a target to pass up. A mobile base of operations with very little oversight from most ground bound laws was a smugglers dream, not to mention Cloudsdale’s massive shipping lanes. The main question was: which area of commerce had the smugglers chosen to hide behind? Hundreds of crates of fresh fruit and vegetables were imported into the city each day, it would be a simple matter to get some of the Brew in along with them. Or perhaps it was cloud export. Cloudsdale was the largest producer of cloud architecture in Equestria. A few hollowed out clouds filled with Brew sent along with a shipment could cause untold damage.
Ace had too many suspicions, and no way of solidly confirming them.
“We’re going to need a bigger team.” He muttered out loud, getting Gale’s attention.
“Pardon?”
“A fighter definitely,” He carried on, remembering Grante, “Someone who can match that minotaur. Maybe a unicorn as well. Some magic support would be much appreciated.”
Gale was looking at him in confusion, “And where would you find some people like that?”
Ace sighed, once again regretting the fact that he was no longer on Earth. Nimble Jim would have known some people and, for a small fee, would have got a team together in just a few hours. Maybe even got Gregor in for a bit of muscle. That old bruiser could have matched Grante with ease. Unfortunately, here in Equestria, he just had to rely on dumb luck.
Slowly, a smile spread across the satyr’s face. Coming to a halt in the road, Gale almost walking into his leg, he closed his eyes and blocked out everything. He concentrated on his own instincts, knowing that, with a little luck, they would lead him true.
“Left.” He said eventually, getting another confused look from Gale, “Don’t ask me why but I’m feeling really good about left.”
He opened his eyes and turned to look. Sure enough, to their left and practically invisible in the crowded street, was a small alleyway. It wasn’t much to look at. In fact, most sensible people would have promptly looked away. The piles of refuse and patches of cloud stained yellow and other suspicious colours would have turned away any decent person. To Ace though, it held promise.
“Down there.” He announced, striding forward into the alley, Gale following with visible reluctance.
“I thought we were going to go to a casino.”
He smiled and tried not to inhale, “Change of plans, this place looks far better.”
“What pla-,” She froze, “Oh.”
She was right to be speechless. The alley opened out into a sight that few in their lifetimes get to behold. It was, to put it crudely, a dive bar. But not just any dive bar. This was the dive bar that ordinary dive bars aspired to be. The walls were freakishly patchwork, looking like clouds of different densities had been smashed together to form them. Some of these patches buzzed with the angry growling of barely restrained storms whilst their neighbours emitted rays of trapped sunlight. Windows had been carved into it and roughly filled with glass, though the layers of grime prevented anyone from actually looking through them. The pillars of cloud, a constant part of Cloudsdale architecture, were also present here, though the fact that they were held together by wood, nails and, in one part, duct tape, was not overly re-assuring. An oft-repaired sign announced the bars more than optimistic name to be ‘Elysium.’
Ace fought the urge to puke as a tear came to his eye. It was the most beautifully disgusting place he had ever seen. Like the sort of place God would go when the other, better clubs had shut and he didn’t want to go back home to his nagging wife yet.
“Let’s head inside.”
“Do we have to?” Gale protested, dragging her hooves, “Just think, if we turn around now, we could go literally anywhere else. Someplace better!” She thought over what she had just said for a second, “So yeah, literally anywhere else.”
The satyr strode forward heedlessly, “Don’t be such a downer Gale. I’m sure it’s not that bad. In fact, I think it has a sort of rustic charm to it.”
“Rusty. The word you’re looking for there is rusty.”
Ace, choosing to ignore her, opened the door and walked into the tavern’s welcoming atmosphere. In return, the atmosphere punched Ace right in the face. If some cosmic being took all the most brutal parts of every holy book in existence and turned them into a smell then they might have almost achieved something like what was now assaulting the duo’s noses. A mixture of piss, puke and, most worryingly, blood combined together to create a chemical weapon that would be considered inhuman by even the worst supervillains.
Resisting the urge to hold one hand over his nose and retreat, Ace quickly guided them to a small table out of the way and sat down, hoping that the challenging glares from the bar’s patrons would wash over them in their discrete spot.
“I wonder what’s on the menu.” Gale said, looking round for any sort of sign.
Ace raised a hand, “I’m going to stop you right there. Don’t order anything from here. Don’t even go near the bar. And for the love of whatever god you follow, do not ask them what the soup of the day is. You really don’t want to know.”
“Okay then,” The pegasus shrunk back into her chair, “So what are we even doing here?”
“Recruiting. Look around for anyone who looks like they can handle themselves in a fight. And I don’t just mean people with muscles growing on top of their muscles. I mean those real brutal bastards who know what a fight is and how to come out on top.” A quick glance around the room revealed that almost all of the patrons fit that criteria. “Okay, that’s not very helpful at all.”
“What about over there?” Gale said, nodding her head to an area over Ace’s shoulder.
Discreetly, the satyr turned to look. Grouped around one of the larger tables the pub had was a collection of ponies that could almost be described as motley by someone not overly fond of living. Even with their colourful array of coats, they managed to look dark and threatening. Perhaps it was something to do with the scars that marred their fur, or maybe the quite startling collection of weaponry they wore openly. Whatever the reason, it was not they who drew Ace’s eye. Rather, the huge specimen of pony that sat in the middle of the group, clearly the leader. Strangely enough he appeared to be a unicorn, albeit one who had the muscles of the largest earth pony. A burnt orange coat covered his bulging frame, with a spiralling horn, sharp enough to kill, exploded from a fiery mane. Ace didn’t think he would luck out quite so much. He had wanted a fighter and a unicorn. He didn’t even think that they would be the same person.
Unfortunately, the unicorn and his friends looked quite busy right now. They were gathered tightly round the table, shouts and cheers coming from them. Whatever they were doing, the wall of ponies blocked Ace from seeing it. Instead he just shrugged and turned back around before he caught any unwanted attention. They would be done soon enough and then he could go over and introduce himself. With a little luck, he could have a group recruited and ready to go by the end of the day.
“Nice work.” He said, facing Gale again, “That guy looks perfect for the-“
Ace was cut off abruptly by a bellowing scream. Activity ceased in the bar as the patrons all turned to look over at the commotion. The orange unicorn was now lying on the table, wretched sobs coming from him. His right foreleg, which hung uselessly at his side, was twisted grotesquely, the bone underneath clearly broken. His gang was now silent, staring between their boss and the other figure at the table.
Standing triumphantly over the weeping unicorn was a Diamond Dog, although it looked far different from any other Diamond Dog that Ace had met. For one thing, the curves of her body made it abundantly clear that she was female. The fur on her head was braided into dreadlocks and dyed black, looking almost like a mane that cascaded down her shoulders. What looked like leather armour, a rare sight in pony territory, covered her chest with a pair of loose canvas shorts running down to her knees. Her face was split into a wide grin, revealing a few missing teeth.
“So, I win hoof-wrestle yes?” She asked the shocked audience.
From then, several things happened at once. The unicorn’s gang, finally realising what happened, leapt over at the dog, most of them climbing on the table to get to her. Fights broke out all over the pub as, realising that things were going to get violent anyway, several patrons took the opportunity to settle some old scores. And the Diamond Dog’s grin evolved into a smirk as she grabbed the table and flipped it up into the pony’s faces, following up with a solid kick that sent the table, the majority of the pony gang and their stricken leader sprawling. The remains of the mob froze, their momentum stolen before it could even begin and, in those precious few moments, the dog was upon them. Her large paw grabbed a pegasus by the head and brought him down into her rising knee, discarding him afterwards as she smoothly turned into a backhanded strike that sent an unready stallion flying across the room. Another pegasus sent a hasty blow at her head, only to have step around it like a dancer and grab him by the throat, choke slamming him into the ground a second later.
The fight was more like the most vicious dance that Ace had ever seen. For a glimpsing moment, the dog would move with grace that would have made professional dancers weep. Then, the moment that her opponents attack had been avoided, all that elegance would transform into unabashed savagery. Even as the satyr contemplated this, she flowed around a stallion’s buck and lifted him up smoothly off the ground with one arm, spinning on the balls of her feet to slam the unfortunate pony into one of his comrades, the two colliding with a sickening crack.
Before the fight could even have said to have truly started, it was over. In one of the shortest displays of brutality that Ace had ever seen, the Diamond Dog woman had taken out, and in some cases permanently disabled, ten capable ponies. She didn’t even look like she had broken a sweat doing so as well. The entire bar stared at her in a state between shock and terror as she casually looted the ponies she had defeated of their bit pouches and slunk over to the bar, grabbing a stool and openly counting her new wealth.
Ace turned back to Gale, who was still gaping at the display. “I’m gonna go talk to her.”
Before she had time to gather her wits and protest, the satyr was off. Eyes from around the room followed him as he approached the Diamond Dog. Silent salutes were given to the brave soul who would freely approach such a devastating machine of destruction.
“Hey, that was some pretty impressive fighting,” Ace began, “Nice work.”
The Diamond Dog slowly turned, her steely eyes sparking as looked at him. For a moment, she was silent, her impassive face betraying nothing. Then, before even Ace could react, she had spun round, gold bits flying everywhere as she grasped the satyr by the neck and lifted him bodily off the floor.
“You,” She growled, “I know you.”
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What the fuck is that thing!?
I'm gonna say she's one of the dogs that lived in the mine from the original... If I'm right this should be fun
~Old Adventurer Saying.
This is either going to end with her choking him out, or giving him a spine breaking hug.
... She's one of the slavers, isn't she? From the first story?
I bet that's it.
5172998 Why can't it be both? I like her already.
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5173988 what the picture says
Old girl friend?
5173988 My thought exactly! Now where did I put that popcorn?
5174967 in the microwave
5174740 No, I don't think so. She would have slapped him straight up if that where the case.
Pirates of the Carrabian style.
5174971 Nooooooo! I left that on! *Fire alarms go off*
ARRGH!! There is no worse fate that burning to death at the kernels of nuclear popcorn! Save yourselves!
5174975 Hmmmm....... I've got nothing then.
5174991 Distant cousin perhaps? Yeah, I'm just as clueless as you.
5174995 I doubt the cousin part, he might have swindled her stuff during the time skip between the first story and the sequel. Or some such.
5174989
I'm saying that he screwed over her mate, or something like that.
She probably mistook him for that other satyr fellow.
5178407
Too many of those buggers running around to keep them all straight don'cha know?
5183879 Pan set the bar really high up, dontcha know.