This is the story of one Mark Crow a seemingly normal eighteen-year-old in Equestria. Found by Celestia in a machine that had him frozen and protected from the ravages of time. However he is more than what he seems, I mean he did save the world.
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Great... Another story where our protagonist is a pansy and likes being beaten by small ponies just like that. Going from a godlike being to a turtle is kinda weird ya know.
The previous chapters were a good read, but somehow it all collapsed with this chapter where the EOH just decided to attack him.
4708370 yeah I know, it took a lot of will power to not have him all Kung fu whip around them and be a man about it but remember he lost nearly all of his magical ability, as well he is a stranger in a foreign land the last thing he needs is to go beating up on this new worlds heroes, that and the fact they thought he was trying to rape her, but don't worry he will show his baddassery later on I promise, look at me, look at me straight in the eyes, I promise
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4708307
Fine, if you're going to be nitpicky, here's some clarification: Don't write HiE if you're a beginning writer with no idea what you're doing beyond a technical understanding of the English language (and especially so if your understanding is shaky, as is clearly the case here).
Better?
If either of you have read even part of this story, you know exactly what I'm getting at. :P
Look lets all just enjoy the story, those that don't, wont and those that do, will, lets all just be civil
4708382
4708370 they are 3 foot tall tecno coloered pansy that thier "elite" Guard get thier ass kicked by literally everything. i would have already pimp slaped them all except flutters before throwing the bitch out the window
I sense a disturbance in the force. I sense....Mark x Celestia.
4708383 *sigh* writers evolve by writing something that challenges them. An HIE actually is one of those challenges. No the result isn't always good BUT the lessons learned will improve you. Plus some people are more naturally talented then others. So let this fellow brony write that which he wants so he may learn his mistakes and be better on the next piece.
4712010
*stares* ...Really? REALLY?
This fandom already has an abundance of crappy HiE fics. There's a reason for the negative stereotypes associated with them, and this fic hits all the marks on that account.
A crappy HiE should not be a rite of passage. A crappy HiE should be recognized for exactly what it is: a crappy HiE. Do you know why there are so few decent HiE fics? Because there are few writers who are skilled enough to write decent HiE fics, and the many others that are skilled enough recognize just how awful the genre is and avoid it like the plague.
The typical HiE is not a challenge for the writer, because the typical writer does not challenge him-/herself with HiE unless they know what they doing well enough to make it a challenge, in which case they aren't a typical writer. I mean, just look at any number of HiE fics and the vast majority will be utterly terrible Gary Stu nonsense.
The only lesson I can derive from the average HiE is that anyone with a keyboard can write one.
I advised the author to put this aside and write other fics to practice his writing ability, with the hope that he'd mature, and eventually come back to this story realizing what it really is. I also gave that advice because, and I mean no offense to the author, he has no idea what he's doing and needs the practice.
4712127 An HIE is a challenge. 1 A humans occupation (soldier, chef, farmer, painter, musician, unemployed, etc) have a HUGE impact on their reaction on this new (to them) world. This is because of beliefs and how they view things. 2 History/background/morals, this should be self explanatory. Its based on how they were raised. 3 How the ponies and other species react. This I believe needs no explaination. 4 HOW THEY GOT THERE. This is the ABSOLUTE MOST IMPORTANT PART. If they came from a portal, the human would be treated differently than say pulled in from a misused spell by a pony. This sets the tone of relationships and how things will work FOR THE ENTIRE STORY. If you still deny I have PLENTY more to share. Ill admit you are right that there are few who can. Yet doing this can also help him mature. Remember sometimes doing that which is harder CAN help.
4712227
First of all, while I appreciate your removal of the attempted insult, it still shows up in the notification email. XD
In any case, yes, writing a decent HiE is a challenge. However, how often do you see decent, compelling, well-thought-out HiE fics? One in ten? One in twenty? Fifty, perhaps?
My point is that your typical HiE writer DOES NOT challenge him-/herself in writing their story. They pick out common tropes, write without eloquence or form, produce endless Gary Stus and Mary Sues, repeat endlessly the same dull plots about Discord and Changelings and Nightmare Moon and Tirek and some great evil XYZ.
Point out one decent HiE fic, and I'll point out a dozen terrible ones to match.
Let me put it this way: Writing an HiE is like preparing to jump the Grand Canyon. THAT is your challenge. But where a good writer is up for it, and plans out their approach, the typical HiE writer instead decides to jump over the puddle in their backyard.
Yes, writing an HiE fic is harder than other fics, if you intend to produce a work of even slight merits. But looking at the sheer volume of garbage HiE stories out there, wouldn't you agree that starting smaller would be the more intelligent move? There's a reason people hate on HiE fics so often these days: It's so rare to find one that involved effort and imagination on the part of the author.
4712905 Alright *puts hands up* I surrender. I also apologize for that. Rough day *rubs temple*. Simply put if I even hear the hospital I'll need admittance to a mental ward. Anyways in all honesty I can't write long strung out stories *shrugs* BUT I'm extremely talented with suspenseful one-shots. Though its just because I prefer detail over dialogue.
well, he an ass
I kind of like this, actually. It has its flaws, but it still feels "above average" to me.
Ha and lots of people said it sucks -3- (looks at 63 likes to only 17 dislikes) I feel like a hipster cause I liked it when it was NEGATIVE in likes -3-
Sorry I accidentally published an unfinished chapter, finger slipped, it won't happen again.
I can throw a cruise missile, if you like.
Him and generosity are pissed at each other and so are him and rarity, coincidence? I think not.
~Eon
First sudden unnecessary violence then hypocrisy.
Y U so much OOC?
4708382 just brcause he lost his magic dpnt mean he list his fighting skills. This leaves much to be desired.
5756132 i would punch her. Sure it would prove I'm a brute but she has it coming
[youtube=https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jmg7sWY8exM]
this story has done something that many stories do the main character is to passive he doesn't have to put up with the mane 6's bull shit but he does and that just bothers me to no end but so far as stories go im hooked
Man I thought this was gonna be a sage like nc he is like a total doofus my opinion anyway.
Ya know, I was very tempted to skip this story as it's seemingly dead, but this....... this reference, makes it worth it, it's nearly 1am here, everyone's asleep, and I'm trying not to laugh while reading this story. Just fantastic haha