This is the story of one Mark Crow a seemingly normal eighteen-year-old in Equestria. Found by Celestia in a machine that had him frozen and protected from the ravages of time. However he is more than what he seems, I mean he did save the world.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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*reads description*
Well, this has all the makings of a terribly cliched Gary Stu self-insert HiE. Especially since...
*sees group: Human Harems*
Yeah, I'll pass. Wait a second...
*sees 8 likes and 2 dislikes*
Really? Hmm, that's not too bad of a ratio for a story that just got posted. Maybe I should take a quick look.
*opens up first chapter*
WALLOFTEXT
LOTSOFTYPOSANDGRAMMARMISTAKES
BLAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH
nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope
Yeah sorry I edited the chapters so as to break up the huge Berlin Wall of text that I had set up, I was just excited and may have jumped the gun. This is, however, rectified and will do my best to make sure that this doesn't happen again in the future. Addressing the idea of the Gary-Stu, i will not give away any spoilers but I would just like to point out he doesn't have his magical abilities anymore and as far as anyone knows except for myself, his personality is a mystery, anyway Tlazohcamatli for your input and it did in fact help to make this story better.
4588053 Thank you very much for he input, sorry more of a bio major than an english. I really appreciate the corrections, i am trying to get someone to proofread the chapters but since i am new I don't really know how to go about that, I think they're called beta's, but i am getting off topic thanks again and I will be sure to correct these mistakes.
Despite the mistakes, it is a fun little venture into HiE. I have a sneaking suspicion that the human protagonist will be a Gary Stu self-insert but I'll follow and hope for the best.
Here is my feedback. Great story so far, I give it 8 out of 10 !
It hase some greate potentiol so keep up the good work !
Instant criticism right here: Don't write an HiE as your first fic. It's guaranteed to be horrible. I have never once run into a decent HiE that was the author's first story.
So, I suggest you stop writing this fic as soon as humanly possible. Put it on hiatus for a few months while you write some short stories to practice your writing ability.
4589695 there are exceptions you know....nothing that involves a pattern of thought is entirely held down by rules and laws.
4589695 Another creature born from darkness and planting discord.