This is the story of one Mark Crow a seemingly normal eighteen-year-old in Equestria. Found by Celestia in a machine that had him frozen and protected from the ravages of time. However he is more than what he seems, I mean he did save the world.
What are heroes? beings who, against all odds, protect what is right in their world with bravery and kindness, but one in all of history stood out amongst all others. He eventually disappeared from the world after ridding it from the worst evil ever brought into existence. Celestia knew this story well and upon learning of a recent discovery goes to see if the legend is true.
First two chapters are third person while the rest will be first person.
First story so please constructive criticism is much appreciated.
A long time ago, in a land alien to our own, was a world ruled by apes that walked up right on their hind legs. They had a lack of fur covering their bodies, tiny noses and had no magical properties. They had no hooves, horns, claws, fangs ,wings; they were completely unremarkable, but that did not stop them. Their strength was in their brains, they conquered their world with it, creating massive cities and buildings that seemed to scrape the sky. They weren't without fault of course, in many ways they were much more barbaric than ourselves. They would fight and bicker over small things like reputation and pride when with that time they could have saved lives. They have killed and hated each other over something as simple as their skin color. They had weapons capable of destroying their planet a hundred times over, and they would have if it wasn't for one man.
There is a legend of a great being who, through trial after trial, rose to a place of power and with this power he carved a place for his people to follow his example. He was said to very virtuous, strong of will, mind as sharp as any knife, his strength was said to match a raging manticore, and, if I'm not mistaken, very handsome among his species. He would sing songs of loyalty, honosty, kindness, generosity, and laughter to his people so as to follow in his footsteps, but he sang one song in particular, one thing that made the other leaders of the world skepticle in joining him, it was that there was magic in the world and that all they needed to do was to find it.
In his search for magic many years had passed and he had aged into an older man, he still found no sign of magic in his world and his own people even began to doubt him, however this would soon change. On one expedition into a great jungle pyramid he discovered a lost chamber within. As he peered inside he saw, with great awe and excitement, a fount of luminescent blazing blue energy. He strode into the ancient foyer and walked up to the energy, he noticed writing carved into the stone surrounding the wonder, it was an ancient dead language, dead to all, however fortunately he had learned the language for the people who built the temple were his ancestors and to honor them he had learned their tongue. The ancient words read:
"Who so ever touches the flames of Xiuhticuhtli will become a champion of the gods and the spirits, they will wield the power to adapt to any situation, as well as the ability to bequeath power to those they deem as worthy. The power of the great God Xiuhticuhtli eldest God and God of fire, the ability to communicate with the spirits and all life that they share the world with, and finally the touch of time will never scar him nor those he is joined with in love. This spark once activated will reopen all the wells of strength and will circulate around the world giving chosen individuals whose ideals mirror the wakener's own, power to help in the progress of the world. However this power will come at a price, their body will, as well as become youthful again, change to match the spirit that guards them, alienating them from the rest of man-kind so long until a time comes that the magics are to leave the body either in death or misuse. There will also come a time of great darkness and they will rise to face it no matter the cost to them, but remember, darkness, no matter the numbers, will meet against just as numerous lights to illuminate the path to salvation"
He was astonished by the words he read. He pondered the words for only a moment before reaching out too touch the blue flame, when his companions saw this they tried to stop him but it was to late. When his hand touched the energy it flowed into his body in an instant he was rejuvenated with the strength of his youth. His friends stood in awe at the transformation, as was he; however this was short lived as soon an unbearable pain overtook him as his body started to change into his final transformation. Dark blue scales started to grow over his skin, beautiful feathered wings burst from his back, his face elongated to form a powerful looking snout filled with rows of razor sharp teeth, on the top of the snout colorful feathers sprouted, his hair became hardened bristles that were soft to the touch and were just as colorful as his feathers, his pupils became slitted like a snake's, his left eye, scarred and grey, became a startling blood red, a long feathered serpentine tail sprouted and tore from his clothing, a crown of brightly colored feathers sprouted from his head lining his head like a headpiece worn by his people's chiefs, finally a long red archaic design spread over his body glowing with raw magical energy.
He gazed upon his new body and was amazed at the power he felt. He gave a mighty roar that shook the entire temple, azure fire burst forth from his open maw and scorched the ceiling black. When he looked at his friends that happiness quickly dissipated, they were terrified at his new form, he realized this and tried to show them that this was something to embrace, that he was still himself but their fear overwhelmed them and, wielding weapons at their sides, they attacked him he raised his hands to protect himself but soon realized the weapons could not hurt him. He tried once again to show them he was their friend that they remembered. At last they realized it was him, he showed them the inscription and what it meant.
Eventually they left the temple and revealed to the world the existence of magic and while at first apprehensive they soon embraced this new energy and it brought the world into a golden age without end, or so they thought. While this power was given to those with the ideals similar to the hero of their world this power corrupted all who he gave it to and made them desire to collect as much power as they could eventually they left him to build their own empires and promised to surpass and even destroy what he had built, the hero was hurt at his friends betrayal and the realization that what the inscription spoke of was true. Those that believed and agreed with the heroes former friends quickly joined their growing empires which ultimately led to a full scale war between these nations. This fragmentation of people would cause the downfall of their world.
Soon at the height of their conflicts arrived the great darkness that the temple spoke of, an army of twisted horrors and warped evil that sought the destruction of all life that would not bow before them. They would attack and destroy or corrupt all the nations that were separate from the hero's own, twisting them into their own terrifying image. The heroes friends who had turned against him, quickly sided with the invaders, as did their followers. The invaders, in return, gave them, unimaginable power. Eventually the traitors united to destroy the great hero, their battle raged for a full week, a day for every traitor the hero slew in a rage over the betrayal of those that he deemed worthy to protect the planet. Those he saw as family, those that he had loved, he killed every last one of them.
When it was over, so much magical energy had been expelled that the entirety of the planet was starting to change, even to the point that the planet's own laws of reality started to unravel. Pure chaos engulfed the land, and the invaders reveled in it, these monsters cared not for other life other than their own, they loved chaos and discord and wished only for this paradise to continue and grow. The hero however chose to stand against them and deny them this, and the hero was adamant in his decision. By this time all the uncorrupted survivors of the planet were within his borders, he looked to them and told them that the world was no longer fit for them to live on and said he had found a new world for them to live and prosper in a different dimension and that he had ships to carry them there, the people rejoiced and got on the ships anticipating a new life to live. Although he told them that it was a dangerous trip and that the invaders would be trying to prevent them from reaching their new home. Some still wanted to stay and fight, they didn't want the invaders to have their once great planet, the hero assured them that the monsters would never have their old world. The hero showed them to machines that would keep them asleep until they reached their new home. When they were ready the ships launched...without the hero on board. He had explained to them that if he went with them there was a chance that one of the ships could be shot down, they all said that he was worth sacrificing millions of lives for all that he had done and all he persevered, he told the them this,
"I'm just a man, one life, and I'm not worth anything more than any other person, now goodbye and I hope you all live a happy and long life" and with a heavy heart he left them and went to confront the enemy that he was born to face.
The legend says that the battle was colossal in scope and in such a short amount of time, the sky was said to be lit with ethereal flame, explosions rocked all creation and even the spirits themselves reared back in amazement at this one beings ability to protect all that he loved. In the end he had allowed his people to escape and had insured the survival of his planet, however it was not without consequence.
The battle had drained his energy and left him mortally injured. The magic that once was a part of him had left, he was but a shadow of his former self, the form of the great fiery winged serpent that he was given by the spirits had abandoned him in his state of exhaustion, his injuries were severe and he was sure that he would die, but as he was about to resign himself to his fate, he felt a flicker of darkness and knew immediately that his duty was not over. He tried to crawl his way to a safe haven but he could not do so alone, however this was where the hero received some much needed help. A little pony, injured and exhausted, limped its way over to him and offered him its help, the hero was surprised that such a small creature would show such bravery and come to his aid, he gratefully accepted.
It took hours for the two unlikely partners to traverse such a war torn landscape but eventually they made it to their destination. It was the remnants of the old temple that had started the whole ordeal. The hero stood from his makeshift steed, he turned and proclaimed proudly that he would return to the world once the planet needed his strength once more, then he limped off into the temple never to be seen again but not before thanking the courageous pony by Patting its flank and using some of the minuscule magical energy that was left in his body to heal the brave Equus. This was the end of the greatest hero this world had ever known or ever will know.
"What I have just told you, my dear sister, is a legend written by the earliest known example of intelligent equestrian literature" stated princess Celestia, co-ruler of the kingdom of equestria, to her younger sister and co-ruler princess Luna who sat in awe at the tale.
"Other examples from this same unknown author was written telling of how shortly after a great cleansing light had erupted from the temple, healing the world's wounds and allowing its cycle to begin again, how the hero must have given up the last of his strength to heal his world, and how shortly after being touched by the hero the pony gained a mark on its once blank flank, then how it soon grew wings and a horn" Celestia continued on.
"Sister, we do not understand, why hath thou summoned us with such urgency just to tell us a, admittedly, very compelling, story?" Luna asked with a very confused look on her face. Celestia turned to face her sister with a look of utmost seriousness upon her.
"Because, it might not be just a story". Luna was shocked, at first she thought her sister was trying out another of her "pranks" as she often does however the look on her face was anything but joking.
"H-How cans't thou be sure? We hath not heard of anything of the sort" Questioned Luna.
"Because I haven't told you, I'm not going to tell you everything that I know as I am sure you don't tell me everything that you know" said Celestia with a bit of a grin on her muzzle, Luna then proceeded to pout, adorably, at her sister for withholding such important knowledge from her.
"To answer your question Luna, about eight months ago a group of archeologists on a routine excavation around the Tenochtitlan basin near some of the known ancient ruins, discovered something, an old temple with matching architecture to the other surrounding buildings, except this one seemed to give off an old, primal magic" Luna sat stunned at this "They reported their findings to me and I went to investigate, I felt this magic first hand...Luna it felt like nothing I had ever felt before, it felt powerful yet calm, wise and youthful, primal and sophisticated, I was at a loss for words, the archeologists asked me what to do so I told them to continue excavations but to be cautious. They continued excavating for the next seven months then reported they had made a startling discovery" Celestia's eyes bore into Luna's.
Luna herself felt both fear and anticipation at what she believes is coming next, "They reported that they found a strange ice machine that seemed to be holding some kind of creature... Luna they said it looked like some kind of hairless ape." At this Luna was floored, if this is true then the story she heard was, at least, true on some level, " I'm not done yet Luna" Celestia stated, prompting Luna to stare back at her sibling now excited to hear more of what her sister had to say, "They also say they found a container of some kind, displaying many different strange devices that are unknown to us and that the temple itself on the inside seems to be reinforced with some kind of strange technology that is millennia ahead of what we are currently capable of" She finished, a thick silence fell over the room and its two royal occupants, Luna, who seemed to have regained her voice spoke with a shakily
"W-well sister, what doth thou propose we do in this situation?" Luna asked unsure of what to do, at this Celestia turned to her sister with a calming smile
"Why Luna I think it's obvious at what we do now" she said, "we go and see for ourselves whether or not this legend is true" she ended with, what Luna could tell, was barely restrained excitement, she turned to prepare for the trip when she heard
"I have just one question though sister", Celestia turned to face her sibling, "how doth thou knoweth so much of this legend? We have lived almost as long as thou and we have never heard such a tale?" Luna asked, her curiosity peaked at her sister's strange expertise in this particular situation, she received a warm smile and her sister's response
"Remember when our father used to read us bed time stories before bed, he told that story once and after that, that was the only story I ever wanted to hear, I was so entranced of the idea of heroes that it became the one thing I always wanted to be" now Luna was shocked and confused
"But sister what about being a princess?"
"Luna, I realized that the story's lesson was to do the most good you can where you can, I was in a position to rule and spread the ideals of the elements of harmony and that I could still be a great hero, just with a throne to sit on however what helped soften the blow was that the hero in the story and I were both leaders and if he could do this than so could I"
Having made her point she left to prepare to possibly meet her hero. Luna was still reeling from this and had gained far more respect for her sister from knowing this one little fact. She then left in a hurry to prepare.
The next day the two princesses arrived at the dig site and were met by the chief archaeologist overseeing the dig, "hello your highnesses, I am dr. Ex Moor and I welcome you to, what we call, the lost temple of the hairless ape" he states waving his arms dramatically while addressing the princesses.
"Yes hello dr. Ex Moor we are here as requested to witness your discovery" Celestia states calmly, Luna rolled her eyes as she knew her sister was shaking in excitement, it was subtle but she can see her twitch every so often, that and the two hours of non stop gushing over other stories their father told her about the old world hero.
"Of course your highnesses, right this way" He gestured for the royal sisters to follow him. Dr. Ex Moor led Celestia and Luna into a strange room of the temple, it seemed to be of stone and metal, blended seamlessly together so as to sustain and persevere the test of time. As they moved further and further into the temples' dimly lit halls they came upon a room where the contents of which caused the princesses mouths to hang open.
There, suspended on the furthest wall, was a machine that gave a aura of fierce cold, an unnatural chill that reached their bones. Once close enough the princesses were able to peer inside and once they did they were witnesses to a truly magnificent sight. There, suspended in a tube of liquid ice, was a strange hairless ape with the exception of his long jet black hair, he seemed to be wearing a strange suit that clung loosely to his body. Celestia and Luna were at a loss for words, Celestia because the very being whose trials shaped her very outlook on life was basically before her and Luna because of the fact that everything her sister had told her was probably true.
"...Incredible..." Was the only word that escaped the slack jawed mouths of Celestia and Luna.
"Ahem," dr. Ex Moor grunted, getting the attention of the two sisters," please excuse me princesses but I would like to direct your attention over to this strange device here," he showed them a strange flat machine with a black face, as well as a large, glowing red button.
"What do you think it is sister?" asked Luna
"I don't know but I want to find out" answered Celestia. Without warning Celestia lifted her hoof and pushed the button down, the action itself startling many of the scientists surrounding them who were looking in to watch what the princess would do. Suddenly the screen flashed to life with a very bright light stunning Celestia in the process. Luna upon seeing this began using her lunar abilities to try to protect her sister by levitating a large rock and attempting to smash the strange contraption.
"Wait! Princess Luna wait! Please!" Dr. Ex Moor yelled jumping in front of the the machine, effectively using his own body as a shield.
"REMOVE THYSELF DOCTOR, TIS OBVIOUSLY A WEAPON TH-"
"Luna stop"
Immediately halting at the sound of her sisters' voice she rushed over to check if she was alright, Celestia quickly explained the flash just startled her and that she was fine. Moving closer to the device making sure not to get too close this time they observed a flashing and repeating symbols and diagrams on screen. It showed a stick figure representation of multiple, what Celestia believed to be, others of the heroes people standing by the contraption the princesses and archaeologists were currently standing by.
The group was mesmerized by the shifting colors and moving pictures displayed for them. The video then showed the group of stick figures pressing the red button a second time, the video then flashed to a representation of the strange ice machine opening and releasing its contents.
"Ah so that's what we have to do" said Dr. Ex Moor moving over to the machine "if I may your highness", with a nod that betrayed the true cracking dam that was her patience. The senior archaeologist slowly approaches the machine and, with barely restrained excitement, pressed the button down. Silence... silence filled the room as everyone in the area held their breath, even the world seemed to stand still. Then it happened loud hissing and great plumes of mist started erupting from the machine the strange being was housed in. Five minutes had passed when the hissing abruptly stopped. Immediately the glass that separated the inner contents of the machine from the outside opened upwards spilling the unusual liquid and the machines tenant. The group watched in a mixture of terrified and exhilarated fascination at the sopping wet, unconscious body that laid before them.
Princess Luna couldn't move, there laying before her, surrounded by unbelievable technology, soaked in a strange alien liquid, was proof that everything in the stories that her sister had told her before and on the way to this exact spot were true! She looked over at her sister and saw something she rarely ever saw, tears, she saw actual tears appearing in her sisters eyes as if this was the most beautiful instance she had ever experienced in her life. Celestia herself was beside herself, she was looking at the being that, in all possibility could have given rise to the entirety of the world she currently knows. Then she noticed something, his body was not moving, no sign of breathing even.
"Oh no..." Whispered Celestia more to herself, she was by the side of the prone body in an instant. "Someone help me he doesn't seem to be breathing!" At this every member of the research team at present, as well as Luna, rushed to the princess and started trying to help in any way they could, little did they know that with that singular action of opening the ancient heroes' pod would cause a domino effect that would bring about a sudden and great change to the world as they knew it.
I stare down the masses of evil, twisted monsters that stand before me. Their glares of hatred and desire to corrupt me is as strong as ever. At the corner of my eye I can barely make out the flaring light from escaping ships. Sure enough I see that the horde of darkness had noticed them as well and they started to become more and more agitated. I wonder why they don't just attack already, I mean I'm just one guy! I guess there really is something to being a champion of the spirits. They fear me, not only because I am who I am but because I slaughtered their leaders. That was when I saw the movement, a single beast shot forward ahead with a roar of bloodlust, then there was two, four, fifty, a hundred, suddenly I was staring down a wall of writhing flesh with nothing on their minds but to destroy all that I had dedicated my life to. I gripped my knife even harder turning my blue, scaled knuckles white. With a final look at what I am protecting, I launched myself straight towards the tsunami of teeth and hatred...
My eyes shot open and my head was flung upwards. I gasped for air, as I held my head in my hands I started to become aware of my surroundings. I was in a great white room, everything was really fuzzy, probably one of the side effects of being in cryo sleep for as long as I was, as a matter of fact how long was I in cryo? Eh that's not important right now. I seemed to be the only person in here currently. Why am I here? Where's the temple? I start to look my body over and try to find out if any of my old injuries were still around. I looked down at my skin passed the protective chemical skin suit to see that all were healed save for one, and all that was left of that little gem was a nasty scar.
I lay my head back down so as to serio-HOLY SWEET GOD THIS PILLOW IS AMAZING! I instantly turn around and grab the imitation cloud in my hand and press on it. The give, the firmness, the incredible softness of it all, it was obviously a gift from the gods, there is no way a man-made pillow can be this good. That is when reality slapped me upside my head like the bitch I was. There was no more man, save for myself, something has changed and evolved to fill the niche. While the initial soul-crushing loneliness of being the last human on the planet with no way to reach others of my kind had passed it was replaced with an intense curiosity for what kind of species had stepped up to take humanities place as well as what kind of culture and civic polic-*SNORE*
That was the sound of me completely losing interest and passing out due to the sheer force of the boredom as well as some of the cryo sleep side effects making me very weak. This is to be expected I mean all I did for God knows how long was be suspended by life preserving liquid, I would be more worried if I wasn't experiencing the effects.
I woke up a couple hours later, or a couple minutes I don't know I ain't a clock. I could tell from the suns position but my eyesight was still a bit fuzzy. Well all that plus the fact something big, white and with extremely large light purple eyes was completely blocking my view by being alarmingly close to my face. My own eyes were glued to them, they were extremely beautiful, however the fact that they were less than a foot away from me kind of made them less breathtaking and more terrifying, and my reaction was...less than stoic.
"OH JESUS CHRI-WHOA WHO-" Then came the sound of my ass hitting the oddly close ground.
I couldn't really tell what it was that scared me half outta my skin but I got a clue when I heard a frightened whinny as well as loud flapping. So, a horse is in my room, and judging by the flapping a large bird as well, the highlight of my day. My eyesight was still fuzzy but I could see clearly enough to see the shape of an ivory white horse with a strangely waving chromatic mane flowing on a non-existent breeze.
'Well that's weird, must be the magic that's still in the environment, probably influenced the Genetic codes in equines but still weird' I thought to myself as I slowly stood up and started to approach her.
"Hey girl how'd you get in here huh?" I spoke very softly as not to spook her. I may not have my magic anymore but I still have a connection to other life forms, so I knew on an instinctual level that she was a she. She seemed to back up in a surprised manner when I stood to my full height when I was able to get close to her. She appeared to be shaking, she also kept on opening and closing her mouth.
"Shhh, it's ok I ain't gonna hurt you, it's gonna be ok" I said as calmly as I could. She was acting very strangely, what else worried me was a slight red hue on her face.
'Maybe she's sick?' I thought as I brought my hand up. She flinched at this.
"Oh no, it's ok I said I wasn't gonna hurt you," I said as i placed a hand on her muzzle, which was surprisingly short "see there you go pretty girl, everything's gonna be ok"
Her face turned a slightly darker shade of red and she appeared to become a bit more antsy. She must be really sick.
I bring my face closer and press my head against hers in an attempt to calm her
"it's ok look, I'm not gonna hurt you, see pretty girl" her face turned an alarming shade of red, her breath began to speed up, this wasn't working. I started to pet her head when I felt a hard object and as I ran my hand over it her whole body seemed to tense up.
'The hell is that?' I ran my hand over it, it felt like a long spiraled horn, and that was when I heard something earth shattering.
"Oh my..."
For a second, I swear to god, I thought I was gonna crap my pants. I launch myself back so hard I smash myself against the very solid brick wall.
"OH SHIT! Talking horse!" In that exact moment was when the blurriness started to clear up a bit, the sight that was before me was, well, I was lost for words. From what I could see she had a spiraled horn protruding from her forehead, a crown on top of her head, but what was most startling was the pair of huge ivory wings
"A horse with a horn! and wings!... Your not a horse!" Sadly that conclusion took a lot longer to reach than I'm proud of.
She started to approach me slowly, I tried to put some distance between me and her but as I've stated before I have my back against the wall, literally. She stepped closer to me, lowered her head and did something I will never forget, she spoke to me.
"A-are you alright?"
I look at her dumbfounded, now she's trying to calm me down? Well I am acting like a bit of a spaz, so I took a few calming breaths and did my best to try and hold some introductions.
"Yeah, I-I'm ok but I have a question...WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU!", key word try.
She jumped at the volume in my voice, a moment passed where we just stared at each other. She shook her head lightly, took a breath and looked me in the eyes before speaking.
"I am Princess Celestia, co-ruler of Equestria and it is an honor to have you here in our castle hero" She spoke softly while lightly bowing her head, she was acting as if I was royalty. While I did kinda enjoy the treatment I knew I couldn't let it go on.
"Stop, stop bowing, why are you bowing? Stand up" I said.
She looked up from where she was, she had a confused expression on her face like I had just explained Quadratic equation to her, well in all honesty I couldn't do that either...Math sucks.
"So, Princess Celestia right? Anyway, you don't bow to me I ain't no one special, in fact, I should be bowing to you" I stated, and while I dislike bowing to anyone, I swallowed my pride since she did release me from the cryo chamber. She also called me "Hero", gonna have to talk to her about what she knows about my past but for now I have one question to ask, the most serious question any guy can ask in any given situation.
I was currently walking down the halls of the great castle I had found myself in. I am currently being guided by the apparent ruler of said castle, Princess Celestia. After the whole ordeal in my recovery room she had explained to me, at least the abridged version, how she and her sister had found me with the help of their archaeology team. While she was explaining something I probably should pay attention to I, instead, ignored her completely, stood up and walked over to a mirror on the other side of the room. I looked over myself to make sure nothing had went wrong with the cryo sleep.
My skin was still a healthy reddish olive if a bit pale, my long, straight, jet black hair fell passed my shoulders down to the middle of my back, just how I left it. I didn't have any facial hair, none ever grew in, sure as hell saved money on razors and shaving creme. Something did surprise me though, I had dark brown eyes last time I checked what greeted me were a pair of mesmerizing navy blue orbs. To be completely honest I liked blue eyes but that still doesn't change the fact that I was really confused about how this came about. While I intensly observed my eyes coming up with a hundred different hypotheses about how this change came into play, all that was shattered when I heard these words from my forgotten guest.
"...and we have prepared a banquet to honor your gre-"
"What there's food? Why didn't you say so earlier? let's go!" I say as I run and grip the doorknob fling it open and take off down the hall. About a second later I realized I had no idea where I was going so I ran back kicked the door open where I again succeeded in startling the princess and yelled.
"I have no idea where I am going! Please help me!" It took her a second to register what I was asking, then she hurried out the door.
"Y-Yes sir r-r-right thi-"
"Please, please don't call me sir, makes me feel like an old ass man, and granted by how many years I've been alive I am technically an old ass man but still I don't like being addressed like one"
"W-well then hero what should I address you as?" she asked.
"Look calm down, believe me when I say I should be the more freaked out one here, just take a deep breath and talk to me like anyone else, and you can call me Mark, Mark Crow" I say smiling.
She did in fact seem to calm down at my words and I was happy about that, I have to admit, the nervous stuttering was starting annoy a little bit.
We walked a bit more I noticed that there was no one else around, I found very bizarre considering this is a castle I mean where are the guards? Either security is extremely lax or someone is in some serious shit. A little farther and we came to a pair of huge double doors. I walked up to open them for the princess when I noticed a glowing golden aura surround them. I turned back and see that the princesses horn was incased in the same golden aura.
"Well, now that we have arrived," she said with a smile, "Dinner is served!"
I turned back to face the doors as they opened and what I saw I could not describe with words. There laid out before me was a long medieval style table filled with food! A single tear rolled down my face as I looked upon probably the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in the past hour of being conscious. Spaghetti, salad, vegetarian pizza, fresh fruit, it all looked amazing! However, with the force of a thousand wooden spoon strikes from a mexican grandma, I realized something, there is no meat! At first I thought it was some kind of horrific mistake by whoever laid out the spread but I remembered, they're horses! Horses are herbivores! And that makes me a very sad human, however I chose not to dwell on it cuz it will make me cry, cry like a fat kid who just missed the ice cream man.
I immediately ran and grabbed a plateful of some of the pasta when I noticed movement to my left. I saw the princess, my gracious host and curator of this blessing from heaven, sitting to the far end of the table. That was when my inner voice spoke up.
'The hell do you think your doing!? Get over there and apologize for being a disgusting pig, thank her for the food, then eat like you have some goddamn sense inside that thick skull!'
...my inner voice is mean...
In an instant I set my plate down and quickly made my way over to my hostess.
"I am so sorry for acting like a pig, and thank you very much for the food I can't tell you how much I'm grateful for what you've provided for me here today" I said with a small apologetic bow.
I peeked upward to see if she had accepted my apology or not. From what I could see she was very confused.
"Why are you apologizing?" She asked with a kind smile, "just eat, I would if I were you"
With that I immediately took off and started filling my plate. I got just about everything my plate could hold without making a mess. I made my way over to where Celestia was and took a seat. I started to eat and I have to say it was nothing short of delicious. The vegetables were all crunchy and fresh, the fruit was juicy, the only way this could be better was if I had I nice steaming steak in front of me. Half way through my meal I noticed the princess wasn't eating.
"Hey princess wh-"
"Please, call me Celestia, i-if you wouldn't mind that is" she said slightly hiding behind her mane. Well how can I say no to that?
"Uh, no problem Celestia, uh why aren't you eating?"
"Oh i'm not hungry" she said back to me
Blasphemy! You must always eat when given the chance, even if its just a little bit.
"Nonsense, here let me get you a plate" I insisted
"No You don't have to do that"
I immediately froze while loading a healthy pile of salad on her plate, and adopted an offended look.
"Y'know, if a Native American offers you food and you reject it its the equivalent of spitting in their face" I say with may eyes piercing hers.
Celestia had a shocked look, my eyes never left hers...even while I was still putting food on her plate.
"I-I am so sorry I didn't know I-"
"Or something or other, I don't know, just eat your food" I could not control how large of a shit eating grin I got as I looked at her face, I'm sorry but sometimes you just gotta mess with people.
Celestia looked down at her plate then, then back to me i doubt she knew what the hell just happened to her. In the end she just giggled and ate her food, yes! Mission accomplished.
After that we ate for a while. When I had ended clearing about half the table I decided it was time for some much needed answers.
"So I have a question"
Celestia looked up at me with some spaghetti hanging out of her mouth. Adorable.
"I'd like to know what I've missed so please enlighten me"
We ended up sitting there for at least two hours as she filled me in on what her kingdom was and how she believed it came about.
"Ah, so I had something to do with it huh, well I'm just happy that that little guy was ok, knew he was a scrapper but jeeze he ended up building all this?! Pretty damn impressive" I proclaimed.
"Yes it is quite amazing isn't it?" She answered back.
"You wanna know what is even more amazing? The fact that this world is now populated by animals straight outta myth and legend, I mean unicorns? Pegasi? This is incredible!" I yelled. This seriously blew my goddamned mind! I mean seriously, who else gets this kinda chance huh? Granted I'm a former champion of the spirits and have generally had crazy shit happen to him on a bi-weekly basis but still, this is crazy even for me. What else was interesting was that Celestia finally started to loosen up around me, which was great.
Celestia started to tell me about recent events. I was shocked to hear about her sister but happy that they had resolved their issues. She spoke of a group of ponies who were, from what I gathered, avatars for six legendary artifacts known as the Elements of Harmony, and together they had defeated her sisters corrupted 'Nightmare Moon' form, as well as some evil being known as discord, huh he sounds familiar... Celestia also told me that she has a pupil, someone by the name of Twilight Sparkle, she is the avatar of magic and therefore has great potential. However this was when things started to go south for me, Celestia started talking about announcing my existence to the world, to let all of equestria and all the outlaying lands know about me and my apparent legend. She had a look of wonder on her face that I almost didn't break her bubble.
"Celestia, you can't do that" I said with finality.
That stopped her dead in her tracks.
"What? But why? I would think that you would want recognition for all that you have done for this world, we would not be here without you!"
"Ok I need you to stop right there"
"W-what?"
"Look, I appreciate all that your willing to do for me but I don't wanna be found out, I just wanna live a life of peace" I took on a distant look as painful memories flashed before me.
"I've known recognition and stardom for far too long, now I just wanna live as if I never did"
Moments passed before either of us said anything to each other. I heard a sigh and saw her turn to me. Then she asked me, "Well, what do you want to do?"
I really had to think about that one.
"I don't know, maybe go somewhere quiet, with nice people, then just live my life."
For the first time since I met her, I saw Celestia grin, a grin I've only seen myself have when I was thinking of a way to mess with someone...I don't think I like that.
So it's been about a day since my triumphant return to the world. Celestia seems to be hiding something from me, it is very suspicious but i'm not worried, I mean what can these tiny horses possibly do to me. However, I did happen by some of the guards stationed here, lets just say it ended spectacularly.
The time was around morning because I had just woken up, had taken care of my morning routine and I am beyond relieved that they have discovered indoor plumbing along with heated water. Anyway I was strolling down the hall gracing it with my presence when I had passed by another hallway in my exploration of my temporary home. I stopped mid stride, changed directions on my heel, and continued down the new passage. When I had reached the other side I began to over hear a conversation between two hushed voices. The voices seemed to be getting closer and while at first I didn't really care but then I heard...
"...And word is from up top we are supposed to guard some new species"
"Yeah! I hard it some kind of hairless monkey"
...I'm not hairless...
My brief indignation was quickly set aside when I heard the sound of their footsteps getting closer. I immediately hugged against the wall on my right side. That was when I saw them, two ivory ponies, they both wore a set of golden armor that showed no kind of identification on there part. Even the weird pony tramp stamps or whatever on their flanks were covered up. I did notice two things that immediately set them apart; One had a pair of wings poking through the back of the breastplate, the other had a horn protruding from the helmet, so these are what unicorns and pegasi must look like, awesome. I also noticed that the unicorn had a much thicker jawline and larger frame than the pegasus, so assuming that sexual dimorphism hasn't completely been flipped, then I am looking at members of the opposite sex. Luckily they hadn't noticed me and that was when the fun began.
They were about forty feet in front of me when I started following them. I wasn't being sneaky but due to the fact I am bare foot they couldn't hear me, and my skin suit barely made any noise as I moved. I continued to listen to their conversation as they patrolled the empty halls. I still wonder why there is a lack of guards but I digress.
"...it's just so unnatural, I mean who ever heard of a hairless monkey?" The unicorn said
"It's definitely strange, I wonder when they're going to move it to the Canterlot Zoo"
A zoo? that ain't happening, a started to speed my walking up, i was now thirty feet behind them.
"I don't know but I hope it's soon, I've seen the monkeys back at the zoo and they are so filthy looking.
Ok, I am starting to get a little annoyed. Twenty feet.
"Yeah, I know, and the worst part is that we're gonna have to check up on it and nobody knows what it eats"
"So it could be dangerous and they're still keeping it here?! What is the princess thinking?!"
I noticed that we were heading towards my room in the private medical wing of the castle. Ten feet.
When they reached the doors I saw that they started to hesitate.
"Well go on in" the pegasus said gesturing towards the door.
"what's the matter? Too scared to fight a little hairless monkey?" The unicorn taunted with, what I could feel, a huge shit eating grin.
Little? Little! These pygmies are one's to talk, they are, at the most, up to the highest part of my abdomen. Shit, talk about little, their little...
The unicorns' taunt appeared to have flustered the pegasus cuz I saw her wings ruffle in brief indignation. She huffed, moved up to the door, reached for the door handle turned it and... wait, WHAT!
I stare in awe at what I had just witnessed, how did her hooves turn that handle? There are no digits, no dexterity I mean what? What!
I quickly composed myself when I heard the pegasus yell
"Oh buck me! It's gone!"
Apparently they had discovered my empty room.
"What?!" that was the unicorn. By this time my trademark grin started to threaten my face with impending fission.
The unicorn quickly rushed in franticly looking around the room for any sign of me. I am amazed that they haven't once looked behind them. By now they were both inside looking all around, I slowly prop myself against the door frame and watch.
"A possibly dangerous and unknown species is loose on the castles premises, just imagine what the captain will do to us if he finds out about this!" The unicorn screamed.
"The captain?! Imagine if we get caught by whatever is lo..." and that was when my little pegasus friend turned to see me propped up against the doorframe flashing all my wonderfully sparkly teeth at her.
"What? What's wrong what'll it do?" the unicorn asked.
The pegasus was frozen, she slowly started to point her hoof up at me.
The unicorn seemed to stiffen up as he suddenly looked as though he had realized something horrifying. He slowly turned and shrank under my gaze.
I stood up from my doorframe and slowly strode over to them.
"Nohohohoho no, don't mind a hairless, little monkey like me, by all means..." I said deadly quiet as I stalked close enough for the unicorn to feel my breath on his muzzle, "give me some ideas"
What followed afterwards was something that took my breath away...cuz my lungs wouldn't expand...cuz I was laughing so hard. They fainted, they fainted at my feet, it was amazing I mean I was completely bullshitting but it was so worth it after hearing all the insults, oh man! *sigh* Totally gonna remember that, I think I deserve a snack! As I turn to acquire my hard earned spoils I heard a gurgling noise. That was when I remembered that these two guards had fainted, in my room, lovely.
As I slowly trudged my way to the dining room with the two comatose equines on my back I remembered what Celestia had told me as she escorted me back to my room after our dinner yesterday.
"Now Mark, I am going to need you to be as cooperative as you can be, I will meet you tomorrow to discuss your new living arrangements as well as introdu-" and that was when I started to think about what if pinnochio had said "my nose will grow", it is a legitimate question.
Anyway I had deposited my visitors unconscious bodies in the dining room and had begun eating my hard earned trophy that was a plate of creme puffs, nothing could go wrong!
"Mark! We need to talk!" yelled a very familiar voice that had a surprising edge to it.
My head filled with creme puffs, whirled around and saw the princess calmly walking over to me, wearing a stern face.
I swallowed my prize and walked over to her with an air of false confidence, I mean I know she could crush me or stab me with her horn I'm not an idiot but I do know I will not apologize for something so marvelous.
"What is up princess!?"
"What is up is that two of my guards are currently passed out and muttering "monster...talking...monkey" over and over. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that?" she questioned with an accusatory raised eyebrow.
Well I know when I'm caught, so I just follow the gentlemen's code.
"Such shocking accusations! I am the ex-king of the world!" Deny. Deny. Deny
"You think that I, Mark Crow, would try to take advantage of two innocent guards then leave them unceremoniously dumped in provocative positions so as to give the impression that they were having reversed sexual interaction with the woman giving it to the man from behind. ugh! You wound me Madame!" I am giving her the most hurt slash angry look i could muster while trying to keep myself from totally laughing and blowing it.
She still gave me that stern look. Her eyes locked on to mine trying to break me, trying to make me slip up, well I ain't having none of it!
"You think you can break me, huh princess?!" she just raises her eyebrow some more.
"You think you can get me to slip up? Well your wrong! Cuz I know what you know! I know what you know before you even know! Strange isn't it?!" That was when I saw the transformation, her stern look metamorphosed into a small smile, then a grin, and finally into full blown laughter.
"Yes! I'm off the hook!" I yelled in triumph, that was when I noticed her turning away.
"Come on Mark, it's time for our talk", she spoke to me over her shoulder.
I started to follow her through the castle trying to ignore the fact her chromatic tail is constantly flowing in a breeze that isn't there. Now you may think 'Mark what ya trippin over dawg just calm down yo!' well I would, but due to the fact that it is constantly aloft I keep getting glances at her great divide. Not something I very much enjoyed, however due to the fact I am permanently stuck in my eighteen-year old body complete with eighteen-year old hormones, thanks god! The sight of it still gets me excited but due to my extreme mental resilience I was still able to fail miserably and I had to awkwardly reposition myself...it happens all the time...most of the time for no reason...god I am fucking sick of this shit!
Moving on, we arrive in a small circular room whose only other exit is a pair of double doors at the bottom of a small stairwell.
"Now *munch* on to your living arrangements" I see she is eating another banana...girl loves her some bananas.
"Yeah, so where am I going to live again?" I ask, I also notice something near the princesses feet, hooves, whatever, point is I saw something yellow and fruity near her. I see it's an old banana peel, not too old so she probably dropped it by accident before coming to get me.
"Yes I believe I found the perfect place for yoooOOOUUUUAAAHHH!" She yelled as her hoof landed on the lone banana peel and she began to fall down the steps.
That was when my old instincts kicked in and I rushed to her side, immediately wrapping my arms around her as best I could. I pulled her close to me as we fell the small distance, and while it may seem like overreacting I do know that horses are basically dead if they break any of their legs so I did what my best judgement told me to do. When we landed I made sure I took the full brunt of the fall. Let's just say that alicorn's are heavier than normal ponies. After I had gotten my breath back I pulled myself up from the princess. From where I was, I could see that if anyone were to walk in right now I'm pretty sure they'd jump to some pretty dirty conclusions, thank god nobody is coming in right no-
"Princess we have arri-"
I look up to see six mares staring back a me with shock all over their faces.
So....how's your day going? Good? Bad? Whatever? Mine, well....
"WHAT WERE YOU DOING TO THE PRINCESS!" Screamed a purple pissed off pony after she and her tiny horse hit-squad had just gotten done nearly beating me into the farthest wall. So how was my day?.... Meh.
I looked up to examine my attackers once more, which was hard considering one of my eyes ended up being swollen shut. From left to right:
The mare on my far left was a unicorn who looked like a primmed up beauty queen, well taken care of hair, great sheen to her coat, bright, healthy blue eyes. Yet all that was irrelevant since she was currently pointing her spiraled horn directly at my throat and, from what I can see, was glowing with a potent magical spell aimed right at my food and air tubes, fuck air what about my food?!
Next was an orange earth pony wearing a stetson hat. From my initial observation she was a work horse, I could tell by her muscled physique, and slightly dirty coat, probably a farmer. Her bright green eyes piercing into mine awaiting an explanation, her freckled face contorted into a deep scowl...she was also the culprit to my, now, swollen eye. She is definitely not in my top ten right now.
Moving on, I was currently looking at a cyan Pegasus whose amethyst eyes had an extreme amount of contempt within them. Her body was the most lithe out of all of my captors. She was built for speed and she had it all right, she was the first to hit me, tackled my ass into the wall I am currently suspended on. Her mane, a rainbow in every sense, flowed behind her...she looked pretty awesome I will admit.
Currently in front of me was a huge ass cannon pointed directly at my crotch...needless to say I was scared shitless. The owner of said ball buster was a bouncing, giggling pink earth pony, she had the biggest grin on her face and that scared me more than the cannon. Her teal eyes, however shone with a child like joy yet a fierce determination to protect her friends and I can respect that. However, it still doesn't change the fact that she is pointing a cannon at my jueves.
I had to look around for the next one. In the far corner was a quivering yellow ball staring at me with big, watery, bright blue eyes. Her pink mane covering up most of her face which, I can see from here, was a deep scarlet. It made my heart hurt just looking at her I am going to have to apologize to her personally after this was sorted out.
Finally, it came to miss menstrual cycle. She was a unicorn with a purple coat, her mane was a dark purple with a pink stripe through it, pony highlights? Weird. Her eyes, however was what got me, the deepest violet I had ever seen, they shone with a passion as bright as any star and a ferocity that I'm sure could match any of the demons I faced back in my years as a gaurdian. So with all this surging through my head, all I could think of was one simple question...should I or shouldn't I completely wreck this situation more...nah, better not, I mean I better check on Celesti-
My eyes caught a flicker of movement, I saw Celestia still on the floor from where I had left her. I had thought that she might've bumped her head when we hit the floor and that was why she wasn't doing anything to stop this assetry, what I saw, however, shocked me. She was laying there, one hoof propping up her head while she munched on another banana with the biggest, smuggest grin on her face, I mean seriously!? Here I am getting my ass pounded in like a five dollar whore and all she does is sit there and watch!? Ok princess I'll play your game and I promise you, you will lose.
"Thank goodness you came when you did!" I yelled in false gratefulness
All the ponies shared quizzical looks at each other.
"Uh, what're ya'll talkin' bout?"
I see Celestia raise her eyebrow at me...oh here it comes.
"S-she..." I force my eyes to water, "She tried to violate me!"
Did I say that over dramatically? Yes, did I think that I would be found out? Hell yes, did the whole world stop the moment I said it? Fuck yeah it did. The sheer looks of earth shattering shock upon their faces almost made me lose my cool right then and there, along with Celestia's frozen, crimson face, oh my god she actually dropped her banana!
That was when I felt my head smash into the wall.
"How dare you accuse the princess of such a-a, I can't even bring myself to say it!" She yelled in my face with some spittle debris, lovely.
"Why don't you ask her yourself!" I cast an accusatory glare at her, everyone whipped their heads around so fast I swear you could hear their necks crack. Celestia's eyes bored into mine, I grinned my own smug grin at her, I mouthed to her, 'I ain't done yet', she just shook her head no, well now I had to do it.
"Tell them princess, tell them how you said you wanted to 'destroy me mind, body, and soul where I would forever be your personal pleasure slave" *sigh* what am I doing with my life?...I am accusing the beloved leader of an entire race of magical ponies of sexual slavery, I'm gonna get crucified!
As soon as I had said that I felt Celestia's hoof on my mouth, trying to shut me up.
"Hahaahhahah! Mr.Crow your so funny! Please twilight it was all a terrible misunderstanding, he is in fact the important topic I wanted to discuss with you today" with that twilight gasped and released me from her magical grip and Celestia finally removed her hoof from my mouth.
"Pffthahhahaahahah, come on Celestia that was great! I mean did you see their faces!? They were completely floored haha, o-okay okay I'll get serious" I took a few breaths to calm me down, all I got in return for my grand performance was silence and stares, so I clear my throat and move on.
"Well now that that's out of the way," I say standing up to my full height. I looked down at my former captors as they were about at my abdomen
"It's an honor to meet you all, my name is Mark Crow" I gave as best a bow as I could.
Still awkward in here...all six ponies were still staring at me, well five the yellow one was still in the corner, she appeared to have passed out cold...definitely gonna have to apologize to her. Eventually though the purple one, Twilight, approached me and returned my bow with reluctance, her eyes never leaving mine.
"Greetings, my name is Twilight Sparkle and it is an honor, to make your acquaintance" do I sense a slight attitude?
I give her a toothy grin, "Oh you are just a treat"
"huh?"
"nothing nothing..."
The introductions went on, the next pony up was the orange one with the stetson and the southern drawl.
"Howdy there partner, mah name's applejack, sorry 'bout the whole tussle we gave ya just then" she said extending her hoof to me with a wary smile, she is trying really hard, these ponies could commit arson and I'd still forgive them.
I extended my hand and wrapped her hoof into a firm handshake...I felt a grip...gonna ignore that for now.
"Don't think anything of it, I'd act the same if someone did something like that to me, I also like your hat, looks good on you" I gave her a genuine smile as I spoke to her, wanted her to know I was being serious.
"Why thank ya kindly Mr.Crow" she said tipping her hat to me, it made my heart feel good. She made her way back to where her friends were at with a smile.
Next came a hopping mass of pink that got right in my face with a massive smile on hers.
"Hi! My name's Pinkie Pie the biggest pony partyer that ever partied!" She screamed, slightly startled at her volume I hesitated to speak. She took my hesitation as a chance to continue speaking, so she did, without taking a breath.
"So what are you huh? Some kind of hairless monkey, or giant bald rat, oh! Better question, do you like parties?" She asked, which was, what I thought, my cue to speak, but no, and still no breath.
"I like parties! No I love parties! I absolutely positively totally love parties! I just wish I could travel around the world andhavepartieseverydaywithoutstoppingenjoyingmyselfeveryda-"
"For the love of god and the spirits above! Breathe woman BREATHE!" I yelled as I was now shaking her, that was just terrifying, it was like watching a shark in the water and it just watches you, you anticipate the hit but it never comes and the shark never goes away. However, I'm getting off topic.
Her eyes rolled around in her head, but they finally settled on me. "you didn't answer my question"
"*sigh*yes"
"yes to what?"
"yes"
"Okie dokie lokie mister monkey" She yelled and hopped off...She's ok.
Oh look who strolled up, miss beauty queen, she walked like a woman of royalty and I must admit, she was quite beautiful...for a horse.
"What a brute like you is doing here is far beyond me but if the princess sees something in you to not shew you away like the dirty animal you appear to be then I guess you are tolerable, my name is Rarity, charmed I'm sure" and with that she just walks away...bite your tongue Mark don't say anything stupid...
"Rarity if I may say something"
She turns around and raises her eyebrow at me condescendingly. I am trying really hard right now.
"you-" I am currently about to have an aneurism, "your eyes are a beautiful shade of blue"
She just stares at me with an unimpressed look, "why thank you, but I must ask you not to state the obvious, it makes you look dim, or dimmer in your case"...bitch.
She receives incredulous looks all across the room. I just take a deep breath and move on before I do something I'll regret...like make a fresh batch of glue...
What came next startled me, my vision became obscured by a pair of amethyst orbs. Well I guess it's the blue Pegasus's turn.
"The names Rainbow Dash, and what you did just now..." she raised her hoof, oh shit! She's gonna slap me like a slut!
"...Was one of the funniest things I've ever seen!" Leaving her hoof in the air...she wants me to give her a fist bump! Finally something I can get behind.
I give her hoof a solid hit
"Thanks, thanks, I really thought you guys were gonna beat the ever loving shit outta me!"
"Yeah well, to be fair, we already did that"
...well fuck you too Castro district...
"aw come on, just cuz you guys caught me off guard"
"off guard or not, it was gonna happen regardless so..."
When did this happen? When did I get into a dick fighting competition? With a rainbow Pegasus mare no less! Better question, how the fuck am I losing?!
"well I wouldn't say that"
"I would"
...I like her...
"Anyway it was great meeting you all, while I would like to meet the yellow one she's still out cold from my masterful performance earlier and I'm sure there's something you six came here to do for the princess other than kick my butt all day" leaving her there hanging made me feel better about the dick fight loss to someone without a dick.
"Yes, it is about time we began the initial topic of this meeting" said Celestia in what I call her 'bullshit royal' voice, cuz it was just bullshit to get attention, I know cuz I have one to, all leaders do. At her voice all the ponies, minus miss faints, turned their focus to her.
"We are here to discuss the living accommodations of Mr.Crow" that was when I got interested, she got me a place to stay? So long as it ain't near queen squiggle ass then I'm good.
"Twilight I ask that you take in Mr.Crow and teach him the ways of Equestria, house him until such a time that he becomes self-sufficient enough to live on his own" Well, she sure is to the point.
All eyes turn to Twilight, well now I just feel bad, I don't want to be someone's burden, I'll just go ahead an-
"I would be honored to have Mr.Crow stay at my house in ponyville"
Well that came straight out of left field for me. I turn and stare at her with a raised eyebrow, there has to be some kind of ulterior motive, if there's something I've learned is that nobody does things for free, well excluding me but I got my ass kicked, betrayed, and lost my entire planet and race for it so me and generosity are kind of pissed at each other right now.
"Excellent! I also expect regular updates on anything you learn about him or his people" Her voice sounded official, she looked official, but something seemed off, like she was holding something back.
"I will your highness, they will be as comprehensive and in depth as I can make them" lovely, when did I turn into a science experiment?
Twilight turns to me, "Mr.Crow, we will be leaving on the six pm train to ponyville, we will retrieve you a half an hour prior, please be ready before hand." Then she just leaves just like that.
Sure is cold in here.
Her friends all gave their goodbyes to the princess and me, cowgirl, skittles, and manic all gave me a smile and a wave, purple hair mcbust-my-balls just huffed and flicked her tail at me...once again, bitch, and the yellow one was levitated out...now I just feel bad.
I watch them leave, they seemed nice, even the narcissistic one but I have some business to attend to, like the fact that I was left to the mercy of six overly protective cronies by the supposedly 'benevolent' princess. I turn to say something but an extremely bright flash blinded me. When I was finally able to see again she was gone...she fucking ditched me!
"Son of a bitch!" I say bitch a lot lately.
Well might as well go pack, I start my new life soon... I am totally gonna raid the kitchen before I leave.
At the Canterlot train station, the elements of harmony are preparing to depart. Having finally been able to resuscitate their friend Fluttershy and having explained to her the situation, they all sit down on benches facing each other. They each had a similar topic on their minds, the recent addition to their clique. These thoughts ranged from curiosity to straight out condemnation, those particular thoughts rested primarily in the mind of the groups fashionista.
"All right, I think it's time to address the elephant in the room," Twilight announced to her friends, "What does everyone think of our new...uh...acquaintance?"
"I think he's alright!" exclaimed Rainbow Dash, "He knows how to prank someone good, can't take a punch though"
"Ah agree with RD, he seems alright, even if his sense a humor is a bit strange, and the fact he went down like a sack a spuds proves he ain't a threat to no pony." Applejack chimed in.
"Yeah yeah! Me too! I think he's great! He gave me a non-specific unsatisfactory answer to my questions, but he still agreed that he enjoyed parties, and anyone who enjoys parties can't be bad they just can't!" She states matter-of-factly, "Plus he's so slow! Even I got to him before he even knew we were there! If he does act up we'll take care of him like that" Pinkie said with a cocky attitude, snapping non-existant fingers.
"Well I think he is just dreadful" huffed Rarity, "I mean, did you see his ensemble? That raggedy, 'kill me' orange suit, coupled with his ghastly 'jokes' obviously mirror an equally brutish people, hmph! I will not have that savage near my boutique!" Rarity stated hotly, closing the conversation for any kind of debate.
"W-w-ell, I h-hav-en't m-met him o-o-fficially yet, b-but I w-will do my b-best if that's w-w-what the p-princess o-ordered." Fluttershy whispered.
All eyes turned to Twilight, everyone could tell what the others thought about except for Twilight, she had an unreadable expression for most of the meeting with only a very small amount of edge to her voice when she spoke to her new houseguest.
"Well sugar cube?" Applejack asked trying to get an answer out of her.
"Well what AJ?" asked Twilight trying to dodge the question.
"What do y'all think a your new tenant?"
"To be perfectly honest girls..." everyone leaned in, from what they could tell her response might not bode well for Mr.Cro-
"...I can't wait to have him in my house!"...not the reaction everypony was expecting.
"Mr.Crow, while having many traits we are not accustom to, can offer us insight into a previously unknown species, what's even better is that the princess herself is entrusting us with his care!" She was almost drooling at the mouth at all the things she could learn.
"Tch, only Twilight would freak out about learning stuff." whispered Rainbow Dash.
Suddenly the loud chime of the train stations clock alerted them of the time, six-o-clock.
"Well," Twilight began as she turned to her friends with a big smile on her face, "I had better go get our new guest" She said as she ran off.
1st-person POV
I feel very insulted right now, I really do. I had just gotten back from my successful plundering of the castle food storage, I am now the proud owner of a very large bag full of fine cuisine, well I was until I got hungry and ate half of the bags contents. It's now a medium sized bag, I'm mad at myself.
Anyway I'm getting off topic, upon taking my first bite of my stolen treasure, I suddenly felt very inadequate about my strength, then came annoyance, and final a small amount of anger. I quickly shot my left fist to my side, striking a marble pillar near my bed. Initially it stung but what I left made me feel a little better; deep spider web cracks imprinted on its assaulted side. I still got it.
I began to hear the sound of hooves approaching, assuming that was my escort I grabbed my food sack and headed toward the door, eager to see what this world has to offer.
I was surprised that my escort was Twilight, in fact she seemed to be in a lighter mood than earlier, I guess the prank was a bit much so I apologized and while she wasn't completely open with me she did accept my apology and then admitted that her welcome wasn't exactly accommodating.
The walk through Canterlot was impressive, I was amazed at all the similarities between pony architecture and euro-human medieval era architecture. The peop-err ponies here, however, appear to be exactly the kind I dislike, genuinely snooty as well as being completely disgusted by me. That may or may not have made me wanna punch something so hard that I make them forcibly implode into tiny miniature horses to which I would then crush...I have issues.
Eventually we made it back to the train station and boarded. I got some stares but luckily the train seemed to be empty except for the staff. We made our way to the front car where we run in to the rest of my former captors. I take a seat opposite of the yellow, pink maned pegasus as the train departed the station.
"Hey" I say to the pegasus. I startled her apparently cuz she jumped so bad she was planted on the ceiling like a spider.
"Whoa, that was not my intent" thoroughly surprised at the reaction I got
"Don't mind her, that's just Fluttershy, she get's like that a lot" said Rainbow Dash
When she finally pried herself from the ceiling she sat across from me in a trembling mess. Every time I tried to speak with her she would just freeze up. I decided to stop trying for now and sleep, might as well chill for the ride ahead.
I woke up to the sound of the conductor announcing we had arrived at our destination, Ponyville, strange name, it'll help me remember it. Me and my entourage, I feel real cool saying that, exited the train and I saw my new home for the first time. A quaint, quiet looking town with a nice warm feeling to it, in short, just the place i've always wanted live.
We made our way down, what I assume was, the main road, similarly to Canterlot I was getting looks from the citizens, however this time they were more curious than disgusted, hooray! I'm not hated here! One-by-one I notice my escorts break off, they say goodbye to Twilight and I as we continued towards her home. Eventually I notice a large tree ahead, when we got closer I windows and a door, is that her house? That's awesome!
"We're here, I hope it is to your liking" spoke Twilight as she opened the door with her magic, I look inside to see shelves upon shelves of books, a library i'm assuming. Finally I can get some answers for myself. I start to walk foreword ignoring Twilight as she starts trying to speak to me.
"You, sir, are an unbelievable ASSHOLE!" Oh great my inner voice is back, amazing.
"No wonder they kicked your ass! Your being an ungrateful dick right now, she is trying to welcome you into her home that your bumming in, and your more worried about books? Get your head outta your ass or I swear to God i'm gonna give you the biggest migraine you've ever had in your pathetic existence!" ...ouch.
I turn on my heel and walk up to Twilight. "I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention, what were you saying?" I ask with an apologetic smile.
Twilight turns to me and gives me a small smile as well.
"I was saying that this is Golden Oaks library I live here with my assistant Spike," Spike? weird name, bet he's her pet dog or something.
"Dinner will be ready soon, since we don't have any other rooms available, you will be staying in mine and spike's room, we will set up an area for you to sleep in, I do apologize in advance for the inconvenience sir" she said giving me a small bow. Ok I've had enough of this sucking up bullshit.
"Don't apologize," I say this in my 'bullshit royal' voice so I get no argument from her, "if anything I should be the one apologizing to you, I am sorry for the joke I played on you and your friends earlier, me and my people have an unusual sense of humor and I should have made the situation clear to you," I bow my head to her in submission, "Also, I'd like to thank you and your friends for your hospitality, anything you can spare for me is gratefully accepted, I will do my best to return all of your kindness"
"Mr.Crow you didn't hav-"
"Please call me Mark, Mr.Crow sounds like I'm an old bird man, and don't try to say I didn't have to apologize cuz I won't have any of it." I end that conversation with a smile and get a smile in return from Twilight.
"I think this arrangement will turn out fine Mr.- uh Mark, now let's have dinner, Spike!", oh cool I get to see the dog.
"Yeah Twilight?"...what?
"Is dinner ready? Our guest is here!"
"Oh cool! Bring him in!"
We enter the kitchen where I get one of the biggest shocks of my life. I see a small purple reptile with green spines down to his arrow pointed tail. He was probably up to my knees in height, but that wasn't important since I am currently losing my mind at how awesome the food on the small wooden table looks, vegetable soup with breadsticks
"Hey, your a tall one, my name's Spike, I'm a dragon!", it's official, this guy is my new best friend, a mother fucking Dragon?! And he can make food? Count me the fuck in!
"My name's Mark Crow, and I have to say, you sir are amazing! You are easily the greatest thing I've seen since arriving here" probably laid it on a bit thick but whatever, got my point across.
Twilight strolls up to me, "better not let Rainbow hear that"
"Thanks Mark! 'Bout time somepony realized my greatness" spike boasted buffing his claws against his chest.
"Great, thanks for giving his ego a boost Mark" sarcasm everywhere.
We sat down to eat and when we were finished went to sleep. Tomorrow my new life truly begins, no demons, no responsibility, I can't wait!
My eyes slowly flutter open as I stare at the wooden ceiling of my new home. I yawn as I start to rise from my sleeping bag, I rub my eyes and stretch popping my back and neck in the process. While I did this, I start to hear scratching sound, like someone was writing something. I look around and I don't see anything, weird. I walk into the bathroom, after rolling up the sleeping bag, I see a note on the counter, it read:
"Dear Mark,
There is a new toothbrush with your name on it, the blue one, please go about your day as you would normally, please disregard anything that seems out of place.
Twilight
P.S. Spike is out helping Rarity."
Ok, that explains the quiet, well might as well get my morning routine done with. As I finish brushing my teeth I hear the scribbling noise again, this time I look around to see if anything is out of place, in direct violation of the note, fuck the police. Everything looks normal, the tiles are neat, the sink is clean, the box with two round holes cut out in the front is in the corn-Hold the fucking phone!
I walk towards the box and kneel down in front of it. The scribbling noise stops immediately, I can also hear shallow breathing trying to mask my stalkers' presence.
I kneel down and peer inside the cut out eyeholes. I see two deep violate orbs staring back at me. well that narrows it down.
I grab the sides of the box and flipped it and its occupant upside down. I set the shaking box of squeals and kicking legs on Twilights bed.
"What is your problem!?" yelled an annoyed purple unicorn.
"Well good morning to you too agent Snake" I say with a smirk.
"What?"
"Human thing, I'm taking a shower, by myself" I say walking back to the bathroom, "unless you wanna see how fast you can learn how to fly" I say gesturing to the open second story window.
She raises her eyebrow at my empty threat.
I walk back out of the bathroom in my skin suit due to the fact that I have no other clothes and the only other being in town that knows how to make clothing currently wishes I ate myself in my mothers womb.
I wonder what I'll do today, probably get the lay of the land and, with any luck, start a stampede somewhere cuz it's gonna happen at some point in my future might as well get it outta the way.
That was when I noticed Twilight standing at the bottom of the stairs, dressed in a little lab coat with a feather pen and clipboard floating in front of her. Wanna know something weird? seeing these ponies in clothes seems dirty for some reason.
"Hey Professor, what are you about to do? teach a class on how to stalk?"
"Haha, no, I am going to ask you a series of questions pertaining to you and your people so as to send my findings to the princess" she said without looking up from her clipboard.
"Oh, is that right? Not even going to ask me huh? Just going to go straight for the jugular? Ok" I grab a seat, I could tell that this will take a while.
"Good, disregarding my earlier attempt at data collection,"
"Stalking"
"Data Collection, I would like to break the Q&A sessions into small topics so as to make it easier on us both."
"That's cool, so topic one is?"
"General knowledge pertaining to your peoples culture"
"Ok then what do you wanna know?
"Why is it that you have long hair if your male?"
'Oh my GOD! This conversation? Really!?'
The questions continued on, usually about social behavior, things like that. About an hour had passed by when we ended our session.
"Your people seem so fascinating Mark! They appear very simple but so complex!" gushed Twilight with big sparkling eyes, how's she doing that?
"Tell me about it, well if that's all I'mma go see if I can get Rarity to make me some clothes"
"That's another question I wanted to ask you" I turn around
"Why is it that you where clothes all of the time?"
"...What?"
"Why do you where clothes all the time?" I had to process this for a second, why would she ask me that?
Wait, my mind powers are working! I seem to remember an interesting fact in bio 101 before I immediately fell asleep, male horse penises have a sheath so you can't see it unless they're aroused...oh, ok, I'm gonna feel awkward explaining this one kids.
"Well, human male...parts don't have..." I say gesturing to my crotch hoping that she makes a connection, she doesn't.
"*sigh* you're really gonna make me say it aren't you?" I say massaging the bridge of my nose.
She's still just standing there, in her lab coat, waiting for an answer. Ok, like a band aid then.
"Human male genitalia do not have sheaths to hide them from view, so we keep our modesty by wearing clothes"
silence, there shouldn't be silence, there should have been a gasp or scribbling or something.
I look and just see her staring at me with a raised eyebrow.
"so?", what?
"What?"
"So what? I mean, I don't see what the big deal is, so long as you wear clothes during your heat season then your fine"
Oh, never realized that crossing inter-species borders would be so rough.
"No Twilight you don't understand, you see we humans don't have a heat season"
"What? Then how do your people know when to...you know" she said with a blush, wow, that is unbelievably adorable...probably should stop that thought right there.
"Well it's less like we don't have one, it's that, we are constantly in a state of heat"
"*Gasp* What!" There it is.
"Yeah, we humans are constantly fertile, so if I went around naked and if I get aroused then it could lead to a very...problematic situation"
She was frozen and very red, she dropped her quill and clipboard, nice.
"Well if that's all then I guess I'll be going" I walk and open the door,I take one last look before closing the door to see a still red faced, frozen Twilight, I smiled to myself and started my exploration.
I turn away from the door and look out at Ponyville, I take in its many colors and sunny attitude, I take a deep breath, God it's like breathing rainbows!
I notice that the streets are filled with unicorns and earth ponies going about their business, peddling their wares, doing towny stuff, reminds me of old earth, nostalgia's a bitch. I also see pegasi soaring over head doing whatever it is they do, probably have to ask someone about what it is pegasi actually do, but whatever, just roll with it.
I walk towards the main street, might as well just dive right in. When I enter the mouth of the main street, I expect to get mass panic but I didn't, the street got quieter sure, but when I looked around I saw eyes follow me in curiosity, not terror, strange...
As I continue to walk, activity seemed to return to normal as if there wasn't a tall, bald monkey in the middle of their street. Why are they so trusting?
"Well lookie what we got here, it's mah favorite monkey!", I turn towards whoever was calling me, I see an orange earth pony waving at me from a blue stand.
"Oh hey! Applejack!" I make my way over to her.
"Howdy partner! How was yer first night here in Ponyville?" she asked, I love her accent, don't know why but there's just something about it, in a non-romantic way.
"Great! I have to say, haven't slept that well in a long time" I say smiling, I also take a look at her stand, there is a load of apple pastries here, and they all look delicious!
"Well since ah have ya'll here would ya'll like an apple family pie? Ah swear, ya'll won't regret it" she lifts a pie up to my nose, good god it smells like something that's been touched by Jesus!
"I'd love one! But..." I just remembered a painful truth "I don't have any money",*sigh* I need a job.
"Nonsense sugar cube, it's on the house"...no words...
She hands me the pie, I cut off a slice and take a bite...I-I think I'm about to cry.
"Oh God! This is great!" I immediatly stuff my face with the rest of the pie, devoured it in ten seconds flat...I felt weird saying that.
I look back up at Applejack to see her stunned face, oh jeez, I must've looked like a real pig right now.
'Your damn right you did!' oh great this guy...
'Don't 'this guy' me, one, you didn't even say thank you, you ungrateful, fat sack a shit, second, you just inhaled a whole pie in front of a woman, a woman! Do you know how disrespectful that is? Now apologize to her and tell her you'll do anything you can to repay her for giving you that pie, or so help me god, I will mind slap you in the dick!' scary thing is he'll do it too.
"Aw man! Applejack I'm so sorry, I don't know what came over me I-"
"Do it again"
"...what?"
"Do it again! And ya'll can call me AJ" she says throwing me another pie, I look at the pie, then back to her, then back at the pie, back to her... she just keeps getting better! Hah! Take that inner voice she's on my side, HAHAHHHAHAA! Oh my god I'm having conversations with myself, I'm batshit crazy!...but I knew that already.
I engulf the new pie, again in ten seconds flat, and again it still feels weird to say that.
"That's amazin' sugar cube! Ah've never seen anypony scarf down a whole pie in ten seconds! Let alone two back-to-back!" She has a huge smile on her face at my supposed feat. Ego boost +10.
"Who wouldn't? They're amazing AJ! But seriously", I give her back the pie tin and look at her with a grateful smile, "Thank you very much for the food, I really appreciate the kindness and I will pay you back once I find myself a paying job"
"Well while ah did give ya'll the pie's, if'n you lookin' fer work, we at sweet apple acres might have somethin' fer ya", she is just great, first she gives me free food, then she offers me a job? Top of the list!
"Wow, thanks AJ, I don't know what to say"
"Just know that ya'll be doin' hard work, don't want ya'll quittin' just cuz you can't handle it"
"I'll do whatever you need me to do, carry stuff, pull stuff, doesn't matter, you tell me to do it, I'll do it" I say with a confident smile.
"That's what ah like to hear sugar cube, come by tomorrow mornin' round eight o'clock, we'll have work fer ya'"she says smiling right back.
"Awesome! Thanks AJ you won't regret it! Now I gotta go find Rarity and see if she'll make me some clothes." I say turning around and walking away.
"Why?" She asks with a raised eyebrow.
"Ask Twilight, I'm not having this conversation again!" I yell over my shoulder as I search for the lair of miss frilly frou frou nutt smasher.
I continue to follow the main street down towards wherever it is it's taking me, when I hear a very familiar sound.
*Rumble*
My tummy is making the rumblies. God help us all...and yes, I do know that I just had two full sized pie's, but those do not satisfy me! I am the devourer of buffets! Single mouthed! I demand recompense!
As I begin plotting my raid on the towns food-stock, an amazing smell hits my nose, is my olfactory senses decieving me? Do I detect cinnamon buns?!
I let my nose do the leading, as I always do, and came upon a building that looked good enough to eat already...I wanna eat it, I wanna eat everything inside it.
I walk inside the doors and immediately get put on my ass by a speeding mass of grey and blonde. I smash my head on a nearby table and start to see stars. All I can see in my field of vision is a grey blob.
"Oh! I'm sorry mister, you ok?", well, I know whatever hit me's a she by her voice, a very adorable voice I might add.
"Yeah, as soon as I stop seeing two" my vision starts to focus and I see a pegasus mare standing in front of me. A blonde mane, grey body coat, and yellow eyes that seem to be having a hard time adjusting themselves too, at least one seemed to focus on me.
"From the looks of it miss, you look like you took the hardest hit, are you ok?"
"Oh yeah, I'm fine! Kay gotta go!" while I would like to say she flew away out the door, I cannot in all honesty say that, she kinda crashed away...it was still adorable as all hell though. Aww man! never got her name!
"Bye Ditzy! I hope you enjoyed the muffins!", well that answers that question. I look up and see a counter stocked full with sweets and a hopping mass of pink.
"Hey Pinkie Pie!" I say to her from the floor.
"Oh hey mister monkey!"
"Mark, m-my name's Mark, please call me Mark please"
"Okie dokie Markie" well, whatever...
"Sup, uh, I couldn't help but notice the heavenly scent of cinnamon wafting in the air, do you by any chance know why?" I ask playfully.
"Why yes, yes I do, we just made some see" she pulls out a large metal sheet full of steaming hot cinnamon buns, the steam hit me just right, it was orgasmic is what it was.
"May I have one" I say in a daze.
"Okay," she goes to hand me one of, what was probably, the most delicious looking cinnamon bun I had ever seen. With tears of joy, I reach my hand out to take my prize, "six bits please!"
My whole world shatters.
"No...money...", and just like that the cinnaminy mana from heaven is snatched away from me by an orange hoof.
"Sorry, no money, no service" came a goofy sounding voice that obviously belonged to a guy. I look to my right and see a thin, orange earth pony in a bakers get up. My eyes meet his and his mine, we stare at each other for a second...I see a flicker of something familiar in his eyes...fear. I don't think he realized what he was dealing with, maybe, somehow he didn't notice I was a five foot ten, bald ape and thought I was some deadbeat pony looking for a hand out.
"Uh...P-pi-pinkie wh-who's your f-f-friend?" He asks Pinkie with a nervous smile.
"Oh him, that's Markie the bald monkey thing!"
"Human! Pinkie, I'm a human!" I answer back at her with a slightly elevated tone due to my 'no food woe's'...she didn't pick up on it, however someone else did.
"Honey, what was that?" I heard coming from the kitchen.
"Oh, hold on a sec right there Markie, I have to introduce you to Mrs.Cake too" Then Pinkie hops away into the kitchen
"But you didn't introduce me to anyone, how can there be a 'too'?" I ask, but she's gone, *sigh*, well whatever.
I turn back to, who I assume is Mr.Cake since, well, he was the only other guy here so...
"This is my new bestest friend in the whole world Mrs.Cake!" Then I was hit full speed by the mass of pink energy coming outta no where, but I was ready, not gonna get me again, I assure you, didn't budge an inch.
I turn towards the kitchen and saw a plump looking blue earth pony with a pink, swirled mane staring wide eyed at me, just like her husband.
"His name is Mark Crow, I just call him Markie, Princess Celestia put me and my friends in charge of him", the way she said that, it's like she was talking about a pet.
"Oh, well, it's nice to meet you, Mr.Crow" Mrs.Cake spoke very quietly and nervously to me
"Y-yes, it's very nice to meet you" as did Mr.Cake, I have the distinct feeling that they're not as delighted to meet me as they say.
"Uh, yeah, it's nice to meet the both you and thank you for having me in your shop, but back to the matter at hand" I say turning my gaze back to the still hot cinnamon bun safely in Mr.Cakes grasp, away from my mouth, where all food in the world should be!
All the occupants in the room's eyes turned toward the bun.
"Well, I am sorry Mr.Crow, but what I said is final, no money, no service" Mr.Cake said, wow he actually gained some backbone, he must really not wanna give that bun away for free.
"Please! I'm new to town, I promise I'll pay you back!"
"I'm sorry but we've had a lot of 'I'll pay you back laters' in the past, and they never did!", well I can see I'm getting no where, *sigh*, I guess I'll just leave.
"Well, I'm sorry for coming in here and wasting your time, I'll just leave" as I start to walk to the door an idea strikes the vast wasteland that is my thinkin' meats.
"Hey, Mr.Cake?"
"Yes Mr.Crow?"
"You can call me Mark, anyway, what if, what if, what if, now follow me, what if, we set up a little wager" I grinned
"A wager huh? What do you have to offer?"
"My services, I will work for you full time, no pay"
"Why should we hire you? We don't know anything about you...no offense!" spoke Mrs.Cake from behind the counter.
"Oooh! A bet?! This sounds like fun!" came Pinkie's voice, and when I turned to look she had a lawn chair and popcorn that just appeared outta thin air...not questioning it, there's more important things at risk here anyway.
"Look, your right you don't know anything about me, but I'm gonna tell you straight, you don't have anything to worry about" I look into their eyes to show them I'm not lying, "I will work for as long and as hard as I have to, no complaints for no payment, I learn fast, don't need to be told twice to do something, and all that could be yours...if you win"
I watch Mr.Cake narrow his eyes in deliberation, I also noticed Mrs.Cake suddenly appear at his side, they both turn from me and I can hear small whisperings in their huddled mass of two. Then Mr.Cake turned around and walked towards me.
"Alright, Mark, your on!" Oh, he seems so confident! Too bad i'm gonna totally destroy it right in front of his, and his wife's eyes.
"Sweet, now watch, I bet I can show you something that you won't believe, with just these!" I say shaking both of my hands in front of his face.
"Is that all? Sorry sonny, this town has taken all the surprise out of me and my wife, but still can't wait to have you as an employee" smug grin wearing bastard...
"Yay! Markie's gonna work with me!"
"Pinkie have some faith jeez!" I yell back at her.
"Why? I want you to lose!"...ouch...
"*sigh* ju-just look" I say waving my hands in front of his face
"Now as you can see Mr. and Mrs.Cake, my fingers are firmly attached to my hand" I say while pulling on my fingers hard, I even let them pull on them a bit, they were thoroughly convinced.
"Now watch and be amazed!" I yell out putting my hands together, and pulling my index finger apart and putting it back together in front of him.
"Oh sweet Celestia!"
"AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!"
"WOOOOW!!!!", I'll let you guess which one was Mr.Cake...It was the scream one...
The trick had the desired effect, Mr.Cake dropped the Cinnamon bun and zoomed off into the bathroom, I did see him turn green a bit, Mrs.Cake fainted on the spot, thankfully I caught her and gently laid her down, and Pinkie, well...
"OHMYGOSHHOW'DYOUDOTHATCANYOUTEACHMEHOWTODOTHATTHATWASSOCOOLOHMYGOSHPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE!!!!!!!!" She yelled at the top of her lungs in my ear.
"Pinkie, Pinkie down! Down!", she crawls off my shoulder and onto the floor.
"Okay, first off" I go and grab my cinnamon covered prize.
"Second, Pinkie you need fingers to do what I just did, not hooves"
"But I can do fingers! Watch!" She-she blows air into her hoof like she was blowing up a balloon and out pops four nubby, wiggling protrusions...she just smiles at me, like that didn't just happen.
I rub the bridge of my nose, "I really wish I didn't see that"
"See what?"
"Nothing, go eat your peas"
"But, I don't have peas"
"Then peaches anyway I gotta go get clothes bye"
"How co-"
"Ask Twilight!"
I yell as I run from the bakery in pursuit of clothing to cover my junk!
As I continue on with my epic journey to find someone who hates me, I start to sing a merry melody under my breath.
"Everywhere I go, bitches always know, that Markie C has gotta weenie that he loves to show, Bitch!, everywhere I go-OOF!"
Suddenly I feel three weights slam into my back knocking me on my face.
"Cutie Mark Crusaders Monster Hunters! Yay!" Came three loud, high pitched voices
"Get it!"
"Hurry!"
"Tie it up!
I start to feel rope binding my hands and feet together.
"What's happening!?" I yell in surprise.
A second later I'm sitting up with my hands bound behind my back and my feet tied together in front of me. I also see my captors, three very small fillies, a pegasus with very tiny wings, a tom-boyishly short, light purple mane, orange coat, and light purple eyes, a unicorn with an alabaster white coat, a two-toned, swirly, purple and pink mane, and green eyes, finally the third and final aggressor, who is currently standing proud like she had caught some big monster, was an earthpony with a red bow tied into her equally red mane, she had a yellow coat, as well as strange blend of orange and light red colored eyes. I am thoroughly humiliated that I let this happened but in my defense!...it was a really good song...
"Yay! we did it!" yelled the unicorn, wow her voice is really adorable...I think my heart is aching...
"Yeah we did, this thing never stood a chance! huh Apple Bloom?"
Turning to her friend and hopping off my chest, the now identified Apple Bloom puffed out her chest proudly "a'course, I mean look at what it was dealin’ with, nothin’ can defeat the Cutie Mark Crusaders!"
Getting real tired of being called an 'it', also, applebloom? Apples, southern accent… Huh, maybe she's related to the other apple related, southern horse I know? Whilst pondering this I watch the three little ponies look back at there flanks with big smiles on their faces, however, their cheerful faces quickly turned sour.
Deftly slipping my hands from their restraints as well as quickly stepping away from the three bandits of adorableness, I see that they still haven't noticed me, so I lean up against the nearest wall and see just how long it'll take for them to realize that I'm gone.
“Aww, we still didn’t get our cutie marks!” pouted the unicorn.
Cutie marks? Are those the weird little tramp stamps I see on everyone else?
“Hey! Where’d it go?” yelled the orange Pegasus
Oh wow, thirty seconds! Figured it out a lot quicker than I thought they would.
“Ahem” Clearing my throat to get their attention. Their tiny little heads turn towards me.
“There it is!” yelled, who I guess was Scootaloo
“Get ‘Im!”
Oh this is gonna be fun… I start singing a song in my head and dance around their clumsy attempts to ‘recapture’ me.
Scootaloo was the first to reach me, she leaped, trying to take me down high, I duck down and she just goes sailing over my head.
Next came apple bloom going for my legs, she tried to barrel through them only to hit air as I hopped over her tiny body.
Finally came the tiny unicorn, whom I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting, she stops right in front of me and begins to charge her magic, a light green aura surrounded her horn with sparks shooting out. I just stand still and wait, this is going to be good. I then feel two grips on my ankles.
“We got’im Sweetie Belle do it!”
“Yeah, take him down!”
Aww, how cute! They want to destroy me.
I look up to see immense strain evident on the face of the unicorn foal, oh this is precious.
Right as the green light on the tip of her horn flashes it’s brightest, which was pretty dull, a small bang echoed around and caused a small shockwave that blew away the three foals. I was too busy rolling on the ground trying to catch my breath.
“Hahahhahahahaaa! They flew back like ten feet! Hahhahahahhaha! That was great!”
I look up through tear filled eyes and see that all three were in heaps of their own groaning as the tried to get their bearings.
I pick myself up and gather up the three foals, I place them into sitting positions and kneel down in front of them waiting for them to regain consciousness.
Slowly I notice their eyes begin to flutter open.
“Wha-what happened?” came an adorable southern drawl
“I’m so dizzy, what hit us?” the voice of scootaloo came second
“My head hurts” pouted the unicorn, so her name’s Sweetie Belle.
As they slowly become aware of their surroundings their eyes fix on me as I give them a triumphant grin. They start to struggle but meet some interference, they quickly notice that I used their rope to tie them up.
“Hey let us go!” yelled Scootaloo
“No” the three foals stopped struggling immediately and slowly turned towards me
“You can talk” said applebloom, shock heavy in her voice.
“Yes I can, don’t really know how you could’ve missed my song, but that doesn’t matter, what does matter is the fact you tried to tie me up" I kneel down to meet their eyes, what I see makes my heart hurt.
Tears have formed in their eyes, their ears are flat against their heads and their bodies shaking.
“W-we were jus’ tryin’ ta’…”
“We didn’t do anything…”
“Please don’t hurt us!”
Oh my god I’m an asshole!
I scoop up the three fillies and hold them ripping the rope away from them as if it was a snake ready to strike.
“I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean it! I’m nice! I’m nice! Please don’t cry!” did I ever tell you I hate it when people cry? Especially kids…God I’m a softy
I look at their faces and where there once was fear there was now wonder, I had lifted them above my head and from that height they were well above the size of even Celestia, the view must have been pretty good for the usually very close to the ground fillies.
“Oh wow! I bet you could see everything from up here!”
“Is this what it’s like to be Rainbow Dash? Awesome!”
“This is great! I can see Sweet Apple Acres!”
Well they seem to be enjoying themselves.
After a while I lower them down and place them on the ground and kneel to meet them.
“See? Now please don’t cry…”
“That was great, thank you mister monkey” Oh god no, not this again.
“You can call me Mark, please call me Mark, Please!” I beg.
“Wait a minute…Mark…I think ah heard that name before…oh yeah my sister Applejack was talkin’ bout you last night”
“Oh really?” I start to smile, wait for it…
“She said you were…*gasp* Oh sweet Celestia!”
There it is.
“What Apple Bloom?”
“Yeah what’s wrong?”
“Applejack and her friends are in charge of him, under Celestia’s orders!” again looks of fear quickly spread over their faces.
“We are so sorry!”
“We didn’t mean it! Honest!”
“Please don’t tell my sister Rarity” Punk the brakes! This ball of cuteness is that ball buster’s sister? That’s insane!
“Please STOP! I don’t know how much more my heart can take!” I yelled doubled over in pain gripping my chest at the feels.
“So ya won’t tell our sisters?”
“Or Rainbow Dash?”
They all give me big pleading eyes.
“No! No I won’t! Just please stop!” I say shielding my eyes from their cuteness.
“Thanks Mark!”
“Yeah really!”
“Thanks a lot!”
The three of them rush me in a big hug, oh god I think I’m gonna pass out.
“It’s no problem, really, now I gotta go, wait, Sweetie Belle”
She turns to me, “Yeah?”
“You said your sister’s Rarity right?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you know where she is right now?”
“Well last I checked she was out with Spike…” She stopped briefly; I noticed a slight edge in her voice when she said that, probably nothing.
“But that was hours ago, she should be back at the boutique by now”
“Spike’s out with Rarity again?” Scootaloos’ voice rang out with the same edge as Sweeties’
I look over at Scootaloo and Apple Bloom to see Scootaloo rolling her eyes and Apple Bloom with a sour look on her face…strange…
“And where is that?”
“just keep following the main street all the way down, it’s the big house with the carousel on top, you can’t miss it”
“Thanks Sweetie I really appreciate it” I say as I start following the street.
The way they acted when Sweetie mentioned Spike was with Rarity, strange… maybe they… naw, there’s no way...
I continue my walk down the street, this whole town, from what I’ve seen is just like any other town I’ve been to in my life, men and women going about their day, couples enjoying each others company, children running around naïve to the real world, the elderly complaining about the high prices of food, and finally the single guy who just got a cold shoulder from a girl by the bathrooms…yeah the last one was me most of the time way back when…*sigh* memories, humiliating, painful memories.
I hear a big whoosh right above my head, when I duck I notice a fading multicolored trail leading away from me with a sound of “Whooooooooo!” on the wind.
My eyes follow the trail and eventually lead up to a quick-moving turquoise mass. The thing, who can only be Rainbow Dash from what I’ve seen, was moving so fast and changing directions at such high velocity it was impossible to track her with the naked eye… well for anyone else, my eyesight, while dulled can still follow her movements albeit with a lot of strain.
“Hey Mark!”
I see the streak stop as the proud Pegasus turns to look at me, how she was able to spot me from all the way up in the clouds I’ll never know.
“Sup New York pride” I yell to her
“New what pride?” she yells back
“Get down here and talk to me like an actual person!” getting real tired of yelling like a maniac.
“Like a what?”
“GET DOWN HERE!”
In a second she was in front of me with her trademark smug grin.
“Sup monkey man”
“Thank you for gracing me with your presence and sparing my voice Rainbow” sarcasm oozing from my words.
“Yeah well I guess I’m just that kind of mare.” She says checking her hoof. This chick…
“Anyway what’s going on?”
“Nothin’ much, just practicing some of my sweet moves”
“Yeah your pretty quick”
“Pretty quick? I’m the fastest Pegasus in all of equestria!” she proclaims loudly.
I raised my brow at this, time to take her down a notch.
“Ok, if you’re truly as fast as you say you are, then you’d have no problem playing a little game to prove it” I say giving off my own grin
“ Pffthahahhahaahhaa, you think you can-can hahhhahahah!” she starts to laugh in my face, whatever, al that’s gonna come crashing down any second now.
“Ok ok, let’s get serious here, what kinda game do you wanna lose at?” I’m gonna take great pleasure in this.
“Do you know… your ABC’s?” I ask her with smirk
Her grin fades away, replaced by a look of confusion.
“Yeah, why?”
“Whoever can say the alphabet the fastest wins”
“That all? Pssh, if that’s how you wanna get beat let’s go”
“Ok on three ready?” she smirks, this is gonna be good.
“1…” her eyes get sharper
“2…” she licks her lips and takes a deep breath
“3!” and it begins...
“ABCDEFGHIJKLMNO!” wow she’s going pretty fast… too bad it doesn’t mean a thing…
“Alphabet” my smirk turns into a full blown toothy smile
“Rainbow stops dead in her tracks, she begins to think about the challenge her face went from proud to shocked in a matter of seconds.
“heheheh, I think I won” her entire body stood stock still, jaw dropped down to the floor.
“Should have been paying attention, oh that felt good, really good” it really did.
Her eyes were following me but she stood frozen.
“Oh my god wait…were you undefeated?”
Her head doesn’t move but the way her eyes dilate proves to me that it’s true.
“Oh yes! That makes this all the more sweeter, I mean I don’t usually brag but how often do you de-throne a champion, * sigh * afterglow”
Still stuck in that same expression, I gently close her open mouth and start to walk away.
“Anyway I gotta go get some clothes”
I hear a raspy voice behind me
“Why?”
“If your asking why I beat you it was just cuz, if it’s why clothes ask Twilight” I call out without looking behind me.
I say to myself as I watch Fluttershy halt traffic while she guides a family of ducks across the road…aww
I quietly watch as she and her ducks make it half way across the street when I hear a commotion from one of the carts that stopped for her.
“Come on! We don’t got all day! Let’s go!” road rage, with carts…lovely
The ducks get ruffled from the sound and Fluttershy jumps and looks up from the startled ducklings, I turn towards the sound to see who she’s dealing with.
A stallion from what I could see, looked well dressed compared to the other ponies here, his cart was more of a carriage than a cart, I bet this guy’s from canterlot, got the accent and everything.
He leans over to see what was holding his precious time and gains a shocked look when all he see’s is a yellow mare guiding ducks, apparently he’s got much more important time to keep.
“Hey lady! Move it! Some of us got lives to live!” He yells raising his hoof in the air waving it at her.
I look at Fluttershy to see her start to cry at being yelled at, my eyes grow sharp and my nostrils flare, well I think I just made a new rule kids, rule number one in magical pony land…never make Fluttershy cry!
I strut out to the middle of the street with Fluttershy, upon seeing me she starts to freeze up again but before she can completely go comatose on me I gently pat her head, she looks up at me with her teary, big light blue eyes.
“Finish what you were doing, I’ll make sure your not interrupted again” I say with a growl.
“Hurry up! I want to leave this hodunk town!” Imma end up killing this guy, I start to walk towards the loudmouth, this is gonna be fun…
“Let’s go before I go overthere an-“
“And what, pray tell, are you going to do about it?” my sudden appearance caused the stallion to jump.
“Wh-what in Celestia’s name are you!?”
I wrap one arm around his neck and pull him close.
“Buddy buddy buddy buddy buddy buddy just calm down friend, there’s no reason to get riled up…” I say as I drag a finger across his neck, oh my god he’s shaking, this is turning out great.
“But…” I quickly grip his cheeks and turn his face to look at Fluttershy as she had just finished crossing the street with her ducks in tow.
“Did you see how quick that was? You could’ve waited, instead you felt the need to almost make that sweet little mare cry, now I’m gonna tell you this only once” my whisper turns into a low growl as my hand that gripped his cheeks went to the back of his head and pulled at the small hairs at the base of his neck, the bane of all life-forms, taught to me by my grandma.
“You will leave, do your business and learn from this because if you come back and I hear about you acting this way again, I'll put my foot so far up your ass the water from my knee will quench your thirst, do you understand me?…” I give him a toothy grin that I’m sure will stay in his nightmares for years to come, he quickly shakes his head yes.
“Good, now get the hell outta here” In a flat second he was gone, just a trail of dust, still got it.
I make my way over to Fluttershy and the ducks.
“Hey Fluttershy, how you doing” I ask as I sit down cross-legged.
“I-I’m fine, thanks” She quietly thanks me.
“ It’s no problem, some people just need to learn patience, sometimes the hard way…”
“What was that last part?”
“Nothing nothing, oh hey while I got you here, I wanted to ask you something…”
“Yes? W-what is it mister…” her eyes dilate upon the realization she didn’t even know my name
“Oh my goodness I don’t know your name, oh please don’t hate me for that it’s just I-“
“Stop, please” I ask her, my heart couldn’t take any more, “It’s ok, my name’s Mark Crow, just call me Mark, and I would like to apologize for the trick I played on you and your friends, I hope you know I wasn’t trying to do anything to hurt your princess, so… do you forgive me?” I ask expecting an answer instead I got something way better, she fucking hugged me…now, let me explain to you guys what getting hugged by Fluttershy is like, it’s like a yellow cloud had decided ‘your awesome!’ and took you to meet Chuck Norris in his flying volcano mansion, which is totally legit...I've been there only once before, it was magnificent...
“It’s ok, thank you for helping me,” she says giving me a gentle smile and her ducks nuzzling my hands in thanks, aww my heart.
“…It’s no problem…” I shake my head to escape from the contented stupor the hug put me in.
“Well, I gotta go, now don’t go starting anymore problems ya little trouble maker”
“Who? M-me? I would never”
“Sure you wouldn’t, anyway I gotta go get clothes, and before you ask…” I say putting up a finger as her mouth opens to ask, “Ask Twilight” I’m getting really tired of saying that.
As I walk down the street, I thought to myself ‘When I do eventually find Rarity, how am I gonna get her to help because as I’ve already established, she hates me, I mean it’s not like I can pay her off, I doubt I can trick her…I’ll figure something out.
I turn a corner and I finally find myself standing in front of a large, decorated building with a carousel on top.
“This has gotta be it” I say to myself as I walk into the establishment, when open the doors I hear a small bell chime.
“I got it!” I hear the voice of my new best friend in the distance, soon enough I see Spike appear from a back room.
“Hey what’s up Mark?” He walks up with a hand out for a high five, obviously I reciprocate.
“Nothin’ much man just lookin’ for some clothes”
“Then you came to the right place!” Came a frilly voice from the back, oh here we go. I saw her ‘emerge’ from the shadows in a dramatic display, oh the hubris.
“I’m sure we can find anything to suit your- oh my gosh! What is that dirty thing doing in my boutique!” Upon realization she was talking to me, she reacted exactly how I thought she would, sigh this is gonna be rough…
“Hey, standing right here” I say to her in mock hurt
“Ugh! Get it out of here Spike before it makes a mess of my boutique!’
“Uh Rarity, Mark’s here to get some clothes made” He says to her
“I will not have one of my creations worn by some dirty monkey, go on shoo!” She says waving me off like a dog, bite your tongue Mark, show patience…
“Look Rarity-“
“Aaah! It said my name” that’s it
“Look!” she snapped to attention, good
“I came here hoping to buy some clothes from the best seamstress this town had to offer, I’ve been looking for you all day and now that I finally found you, you wont even help me? And here I thought you were the element of generosity!”, I glared at her, hoping I got my point across
“Your right I am, and I could, but I won’t” She says to me turning around and stomping off.
Aww I thought I finally won! Wait maybe I have…
“Ok, I get when I’m not wanted” I turn to leave, Spike follows me to the door, his face is that of major confusion, so young, so naïve…
“I mean, I understand…” when I reach the doors I pause and call out to Rarity who was pretending to ignore me.
“Obviously, judging by these rags, you couldn’t make anything that suits my tastes” As soon as those words leave my mouth I hear a very loud response.
“What! Did! You! Just! Say!?” I turn to watch as a very irate Rarity stomps towards me. Checkmate. A huge shit-eating grin spreads over my face.
“Did you just call my master pieces rags!?” she yells
“Oh, these are your master pieces?” I grip one of the dresses on a nearby mannequin, “honey, I feel so bad for your customers”
The expression on her face could’ve melted steel, I look towards Spike to see shock at my words, I gave him a wink to assure him I didn’t mean any of it.
“I could piece together something from scraps of trash off the ground and make it into something better than anything you’ve ever worn in your entire life!” she pokes me on my thigh with a glare
I squat down and meet her nose-to-nose, “Prove it” I sneer
“Fine” she walks off mumbling under breath about how it’ll be the best thing my primitive self had ever worn. I ain’t even mad, cuz I won, I smile down at Spike, he greets me with an expression that from, what I can see, holds new respect for me.
“If you want my clothes Mr. Crow, then I would suggest getting over here so I can take your measurements before I change my mind!"
“Coming” I say following her into her back room.
Twenty minutes later
‘Oh my god this is so incredibly dull’ I think to myself as she takes my measurements.
“Hold still, I have to get as accurate measurements as I can if you want to get the clothes you want so badly”
“Yeah, yeah”
“Why is it you had to have these clothes anyway? Coming here and bothering me had better have a good reason behind it” she snarls with pins in her mouth, she’d better be careful with those, she’s measuring my crotch seam and I really hope she doesn’t plan to stick me.
“Well, that is something that-“
“Spit it out, or else I won’t continue” she stops dead
“Come on”
She raises an eyebrow at me, awaiting an answer.
“*Sigh* fine” she continues her work as I explain to her why I need clothes, slowly she stops working and gains a small blush then full blown red all over. Frozen, in her eyes I see, well shock obviously but I notice something I never thought I’d see in her eyes, pity.
After ten minutes of awkward silence, I ask her “Hey, uh, am I done?” I watch her slowly nod her head, “Well, I’ll check back in a few days, I’ll see ya later” I leave carousel boutique with Spike close behind. The sun had set, bathing the town in darkness, lit by the light of the moon and some lanterns outside of houses along the street
After a few minutes of silence Spike decides to ask a question
“Hey Mark?”
“Yeah Spike?” I ask
“What were you two talking about?”
“Nothing you need to worry about right now”
“But Rarity-“
“Was frozen? Yes, about a topic only adults should talk about.” I say with finality
“Aww”
“Sorry, but that’s the truth” We walk down the streets, making our way back to our home, each street giving me a small reminder about my day.
“How was your day Spike?”
“Exhausting” now that I look at him, he does look really run down, wait are those pin needles in him?
“Uh spike, what’s with the pin needles?’
“Oh these? Rarity put them there”…what the fuck…
“W-why did you let her do that”
“Dude it’s Rarity, do you know how beautiful she is? I’d do anything for her” He gets a dreamy far off look…oh great…
“I think she may be taking advantage-” in a second his eyes turn sharp and he spins around to face me.
“Rarity would never do that!” oh hit a nerve...
“Ok ok, I apologize, I didn’t mean it to sound like that” He seemed to accept my apology.
“Yeah, but, I do get tired from time to time, finding gems all day and being a literal pin cushion for her and I barely get any kind of recognition” I feel for ya little man
“Look Spike” I say kneeling down to his level and grip his shoulders, “I’m not saying give up anything, all I’m saying is live your life the way you want to, you got friends right?”
“Yeah, Snips and Snails, and the cutie Mark Crusaders”
“See? Your only young once believe me, don’t go accepting responsibility when you don’t have to, just enjoy your life now, cuz when you least expect it, everything will change…” I let my eyes fall for a second, decades worth of memories flash before my eyes as well as so many lost opportunities.
“Ok Mark,” he looks up smiling at me, “thanks”
“No problem little man,” I say to him as the library comes into view.
We reach the door when Spike speaks up
“It’s quiet, way more quiet than normal” He says perplexed
I grip the doorknob and open the door. Inside are Twilight, Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie all in a circle. When they all look to see who entered and they see me, all of their faces turn a deep shade of red and their eyes turn to pin pricks.
“Uh, hey guys” I awkwardly say as I wave
“I need to go see my animals!”
“Cupcakes!”
“Need to Nap!”
“Gotta get back to the farm, see ya’ll tomorrow Mark!” and just like that they all rush passed me and Spike.
I look back to see four trails of dust disappearing in the night. I look back at Twilight who still has a slight blush and a sheepish smile
“You told them didn’t you?” I say with a smile
“Yeah, sorry”
“Don’t worry about it, anyway what’s for dinner?”
“What is everybody talking about!? Told them what?” Spike speaks up, I turn to him
“It doesn’t concern you” He pouts, but he accepts it, I smile and walk into the dining room, today was great and tomorrow will be even better! Got my first day of work, gonna meet new people, it’s just like old times…y’know with talking ponies.
The sun slowly peeks out over the hills of ponyville, its life giving light cascading into the darkened room of Golden Oaks library as it met my sleeping form, my eyes flutter open and I greet the day as any ex-gaurdian of the world would...
"...I decided...I'm gonna blow up the sun...I don't care if I freeze..."
I roll myself out of bed with a grunt, It is six-o-clock in the morning, I feel like death, and I have to work...oh well, I need money for food.
I do my morning routine, brush my teeth, wash my face and the like. As I start to braid my hair into a long, tight tail so it wouldn't get in the way of my work I looked in the mirror to assess just how amazing I am when I noticed something off, my eyes are glowing, it's dim but it's there, strange, have to look into that later, but right now I need to leave, it's around seven and i need to get going, my grandma always told me:
"When your early your on time, if your on time your late" then she'd yell at me for being in the kitchen eating her food...then the wooden spoon came out...then sadness...
I walk out of the bathroom to see Twilight and Spike still sleeping soundly in their beds, better not wake them up, I make sure to walk as quietly as possible making me a ghost, completely undetectable.
I make it out of the house and head towards the big farm out on the hill, better run it'll at least warm me up.
Ten minutes later I arrive at Sweet Apple Acres, the sign really helped.
"Ok, now where's AJ?"
I look over the fields and fields of apple trees and notice a small house and large barn further up the path I was on, I trek up the path towards the house when I see a pony rocking in a chair on the porch of the house. She was a light green, with a white main and tail in loose buns with a few stray hairs, she wore a orange neckerchief with red apples on it. She was currently snoozing on her chair her head slightly turned at, what appeared to be, a very uncomfortable angle, I looked down and notice a small embroidered pillow on the floor. I reached down, fluffed it and placed back behind her head with a dexterity honed through years of practice, even when rusty I was able to get her head in place without waking her up.
I turn away from her and notice that no one seemed to be up yet, judging by the sun I can tell it was around fifteen after seven I still got some time to burn, I look around for anything to keep me busy then I see a hill and an apple tree that was illuminated just right by the sun to appear radiating with a soft green and golden glow, just the place I like to sit. I walk away from the older mare but I turn and give my goodbyes
"Cuali tlaneci cihtli (Good morning grand mother)"
I take a seat on the hill, lean my back on the tree and look out over the land, the sight was breathtaking, reminds me of home, before all the pain, before I got overly emotional with my nostalgia I hear a noise , I turn and see an orange pony exiting her house followed by a larger red pony, well time to get to work. I stand up and descend the hill.
I wave to Applejack to get her attention, I didn't yell so as to not wake up the sleeping elder pony on the porch, thankfully she sees me and waves me over, she looked a bit surprised.
"Hey Applejack, I'm ready to work" I say to her, I turn my head to look at the big red stallion standing beside her, he was looking at me with tired eyes but I can see the movement, quickly scanning and analyzing me, like a bodyguard would, my bets on older brother
"Oh yeah, this is mah older brother Big Macintosh, say hi Big Mac" he just continues to stare at me, as do I, after about a minute of silence between us I nod my head and he nods back with a small smile, good to see we understand each other.
I turn back to Applejack, " so what is it that you needed me to do?" I ask
"Ah gotta say sugar cube I really wasn't expectin' to see you here this early, really thought you were gonna be late" my hand shot to my upper back, the pain of many wooden spoon strikes came flashing back to my mind
"I will never be late for anything ever..."
"Well that's great to hear! Always a plus" She says completely oblivious to my childhood pain, I look over to Big Mac and he slowly nods his head, could it be? Does he know my pain? He turns and I see on his cutie mark was a green apple with, what appeared to be, faint red marks in the shape of a wooden spoon...he knows...
I follow after them and we end up stopping at the edge of the western apple orchard
"Ok ya'll, today we gotta pick this orchard dry of apples, then we gotta move the barn animals out to the pasture, then water the fields, then set up the stand and after that, whatever the day brings"
"Sounds easy enough, let's get started" I say, walking towards the trees
"Ah like your attitude Mark" she takes a running start at one of the trees and bucks it shaking the tree and all the apples off into a waiting wooden bucket, as are the case with all the other trees, what are the odds of that happening? What are the odds of the bucket catching all of them? This place, these people, fuck it I got work to do, there is no need for logic here, obviously.
I single out a tree with a healthy bunch of apples hanging from its branches, I run at a decent speed and I tense up, ready to deliver the kick an- WOOOOOHWOOOHWOOH HOLD UP!!!! I dig my heels into the ground to slow myself stopping inches from colliding with the tree trunk, what the hell was I thinking? I'm gonna break my leg!
"What's the matter Mark?" I turn to see Applejack and Big Mac staring at me with raised eyebrows
I scratch the back of my head in embarrassment, "Yeah, funny thing is, I try kick any of these trees, imma gonna break my leg in half"
"Well what can you do?" this came from Big Mac, fuck his voice is deep, I gotta remind myself to ask him to say some words, I just wanna hear him say some John Wayne lines
"Well..." I look around and notice the basket, heavy with apples resting on Applejacks back "I can carry the baskets for you, wherever you need them I'll take them" I say quickly taking the basket off her back
"Oh, thanks, ya'll can put'em in the back of the barn" AJ replies
"Ok, just leave the baskets on the ground and I'll get to them" I say running off towards the barn
About an four hours has passed, I've been running back and forth between the barn and the orchard carrying bucket after bucket filled to the brim with apples without dropping a single one, that's right! I got skills YO!
We were about half way finished with the harvesting, I had a nice sweat going on, didn't seem like it on account of my orange cryo suite, I really hope that I get those new clothes soon I'm getting tired of wearing this. I place the bucket I was carrying on the floor of the barn and look at my handiwork, a mountain of apple filled buckets sitting in the barn and also loaded on a cart that I know Applejack's gonna use to take the apples to her stand, might as well do something I'm gonna do anyways, I start to tie down the apple baskets in the cart when I hear Applejack from the orchard
"There! All done!"
I walk out of the barn, pulling the cart with me and setting it outside in the shade of a tree and run towards where I had last seen the two equestrians. When I see Applejack I can see a film of sweat making her coat shine a bright gold in the sun, I am taking in a lot of details, why am I doing that? I look over at Big Mac, nothing, no heavy breathing, no sweat, no facial change since the last time I saw him, impressive work horse, impressive work...
"Ok, let me just grab these" I lean down and grab both baskets setting them on my hips, "Oh and AJ!" I yell back over my shoulder at her
"Yeah Sugar Cube?"
"I loaded up your cart, it's waiting for you under the tree outside the barn"
"You already loaded up the cart? When did yah do that?" Asked Applejack
"Just now" I say without looking back
I place the last of the baskets in the barn, walk out and close the door behind me to see AJ saddling up and start to pull the cart out to town with Big Mac walking back towards the barn, probably to check on my work. I begin to follow AJ to ask if there was anything else she needed from me when I feel a big hoof gently stop me from progressing any further.
"Yeah Big Mac?" I turn to look at him
"Here's your pay"
I look down in his hoof and I see a bag with what must be bits, I take it from his hands and hear the delicious sound coins rustling in the bag
"um...for a days work?"
"Well, AJ told me 'bout your predicament, and you did good work today, ah think no one will mind if I give ya'll ya pay a little early, it's about fifty bits"
My man...My huge, deep voiced, crimson mother fucker...I had no words to express my gratefulness...
"Don't thank me, just make sure that you keep doin' good work and there'll be more where that came from" He said as he checked my work in the barn
I just stand there unable to speak, such generosity, in my life i've almost never seen generosity for another being such as this, the inhabitants of this nation truly seem to embody just the virtues that I wanted to instill in my world and was until...well that's not important now, what matters is that I need to show them that I can and will repay the kindness i've been shown. I walk down the road out of the farm and into town, I soon see AJ's stand.
"Hey AJ!" I run over to her stand
"Oh hey, didn't Big Mac tell ya? You were done for the day" she asked
"hmmm...yeah, he did but I thought that maybe I could help you out anyway." I say
Four hours pass, within the first half-hour I had unpacked the cart, set up the stall, arranged the apples in an eye catching display, and took the cart back to barn, brought it back full of new baked goods and fresh produce ready for sale and for the other three and a half I had been helping AJ sell her apples, at first some ponies were hesitant but eventually more and more started to show up and bought apples and apple pastries
"uh hey, Mark?" AJ said
"Yeah AJ, Thanks have a nice day! wassup?"
"I uh, can ya'll handle the stand for a bit, I gotta use the...umm" aww, she's blushing, she's embarrassed
"AJ, it's cool, I got this"
"Thank ya, I really appreciate it, be back in a second" she runs off to the closest bathroom she could find
I go through a few customers, easy as pie, this goes on for another five minutes until there were no customers waiting, so I decide to restock some of the items on display. I walk behind the cart and look through some of the bags of apple treats when I hear a voice come from the stand.
"Hello? AJ you there?"
"Hold on ma'am! AJ's out, but I'll be with you in a second!" I answer
"Oh! Ok! When did AJ get a new worker?"
"Just started today actually thanks for asking" these people are so polite!
"What's your name?"
"Mark!"
"That's a strange name, are you foreign?"
I stand up from the cart my hands filled with apple pastries
" you could say that" I say walking around, when I do I see an sea foam green unicorn standing in front of the cart, what was strange though is that her eyes are pin pricks and her mouth dropped wide open, maybe she hadn't heard of me from the townsfolk yet
"yeah, so, like I said my name's Mark and I'm a-"
"A-a-a h-h-uman b-b-being" ...what...
"A real live human being! I knew you were real! I knew those stories my grandpa used to read to me were true!" Immediately I froze, she knows about humans? She knows my story?! But I thought only Celestia and her family had access to that knowledge...
"What am I doing?! I have to tell everybody!" wait what she say?!
"HEY EVERYONE!!! GUESS WHAT!!! I GOOTTA TE-MMMPFFF!!!!????" I slap my hand over her mouth and run off with her right before hanging an 'on break' sign on the stand
I take off away from the crowded main streets, I gotta get some answers...
I weave through the crowd, running at a brisk pace with the sea foam green unicorn in my hand, I got some looks from passersby's but I ignore them I have bigger problems to worry about. I find a dark alley and quickly duck inside, I keep my hand over the unicorn's mouth, lay my back against the wall and wait, I look to see if anyone had followed us. The coast is clear, I release the unicorn from my hold and kneel down to her height.
"Now, your going to tell me exactly what you know, no missing details, no cutting corners, and don't lie, I...hate...liars..." I quietly growl. However, despite my best attempt to sound threatening to her, she completely ignores me and looks directly at my hands with an unmatched determination. Lightening fast, her hooves shoot out and grasp my right hand inspecting it like a jeweler does a diamond.
"Hands...so beautiful..."
I raise my eyebrow, this was not the reaction I was expecting...
"Lyra!"
Her eyes look to me, looks like I finally got her attention
"For the last time, what...do...you...know..."
Her face adopts a blank look
"*sigh* how do you know of the human race?"
her eyes light up in understanding
"Yeah I know a lot about humans!" she says loudly
I rub the bridge of my nose in frustration
"That's great, HOW do you know?" I hate repeating myself, let alone three times
"Ooooh oooh I know! I know!" She says bouncing up and down with one hoof in the air like an excited student in class, so damned adorable.
"Ok, ok lyra can you tell me what you know about humans?" four times, you see, anybody else makes me go through this, they'd end up getting the crap slapped outta them at two.
"My grandpa used to read me stories about human beings from this really old looking book"
Interesting, from what Celestia told me, there used to be a tome detailing the history of me and my people during the rise and fall of my reign, However, from what I know there was a very limited amount, given to only a select few, so why would her family be in possession of one?
"Really, and did your grandfather ever loan you this book?"
"Yeah! He said that our family has had the book since the beginning of pony history!" she says with a proud smile
Hmm, could her family have been historians at some point?
"My grandpa told me all about the humans, and their king!" My brain stops, does she know?
"A great ruler who led the humans into their greatest golden age, and in the end gave everything to protect what would eventually be equestria! In fact..." her yellow-orange eyes fix themselves on me, I look as calm as I can, but on the inside i'm hyperventilating, please great spirit don't let me lose my new found freedom, not yet...
"Do you know anything about him?" Oh thank you great spirit
"Uhh, yeah! Actually you can say he and I were really close" I'm not lying...don't look at me like that
A mile wide smile stretches across her face
"Really!? Can you tell me about him!?" She says putting her hooves on my chest
"Sure, under one condition"
"Yeah?"
"You can't tell anybody about me or the humans, it might...uuh..."
"But they need to know! They need to know the truth!" She yells dramatically standing on her hind legs with her front hooves in the air
"But just think of the mayhem!" her smile evaporates immediately
"Mayhem?"
"Yeah! the history that your people have come to know and trust completely vanishing into thin air" The look on her face shows that i'm getting to her
"Yeah panicking in the streets, screaming, flaming raccoons falling from the sky riding skateboards pulling off sick kick flips utter, utter chaos"
"Really? Raccoons?" that's what she got outta that?
"Yes! Such raccoons, and they will fall, and they will pull off sick tricks, but that can all be avoided if, AND ONLY IF! You decide to keep this between us" you see now I'm lying
"Okay, i'll keep it between us" Lyra says with a downcast look
"Aww come on Lyra, look how's about this, I'll meet up with you and tell you stories about us humans and even the king that not even that old tome could tell you"
Immediately her mood takes a 180, her downcast look is replaced by a shining smile
"You'd do that for me?!"
"Of course Lyra, we're friends now" while I say this, I absent mindedly reach my hand over and run it through her mane, immediately she gains a far off relaxed look with a serene smile settling over her face.
Interesting response. I slowly take my hand away and her serene look disappears so quickly it's like she just saw a train wreck
"Why'd you stop?" she whines
"*sigh*" I start to run my hands through her mane again but this time I started to scratch behind her ears gently but firmly, this brought about an even more interesting reaction. She immediately falls to one side with a trance-like smile. I wonder if I should stop...
"*Snore*"
Holy shit did I just put her to sleep? I did! Oh my god do you know what this means?!...well when you do please explain it to me cuz I'm at a loss.
I scoop up lyra, while shaking my head, and take her out of the alley. I walk pass the onlookers in the street, probably weird to see a tall ape carrying a unicorn out of a dark alley...a unicorn who's currently drooling on my arm...lovely...
I find a bench under a tree and lay her down gently in a comfortable position. I look upon the sleeping form of Lyra curled up on the bench was probably the single most cutest thing I have ever seen but I can't help but have a frown on my face, someone else knows about my people, it was a wonder that she didn't connect the dots of who I am but I'm not complaining, the less she knows the better, the less anyone knows the better.
I turn around and head back towards the apple stand, I hope Apple Jack won't be mad at me...wow, ex-guardian of earth hoping that a small orange horse girl isn't mad at him...I feel like eating ice cream...
Thankfully when I got back to the stand Apple Jack wasn't waiting for me, good. I take the sign off and lean back in the convenient stool I had placed a while back, I then kick my legs up feeling good...
"So where'd ya'll go?"
"OH GOD!" I fell out of my stool and land in a heap, looming over me is the smug look of Apple Jack with a raised eyebrow
"Jesus Christ AJ tie a bell around your neck!"
"Why? Ya'll got somethin' ta hide?"
"No!"
"So where'd ya'll go, and don't lie cuz ah'll know"
"Okay but first off did you mean for that to rhyme or did it just happen?"
She raises an eyebrow then a gets a slightly irritated look
"Quit dodgin' the question"
"I'm not dodging"
"Yes ya'll are"
"No i'm not I just want to know if you've got a bit of a poet inside that tough cowgirl exterior"
"...No, it was an accident, now answer the question" damn she's to the point, and I don't think the amazing sick trick flipping flaming raccoons falling from the sky excuse is gonna work this time kids
"...Something came up..."
"'somethin' came up'....that's ya'lls excuse?"
I can see that you can see that this is going poorly for me, ok I have only one shot, a hail mary, an all or nothing
"Look, ah know that ya'll volunteered to help and ah appreciate it" I watch her for any subtle movements, any that'll give me an opening
"but at least be straight with me" She looked away for a second, now's my chance
"Ah mean I was about to take the cart back but ya'll really need tah-ahhhhh....*snore*" YES! I am correct once again, before she could get into scolding me I started to scratch behind her ears like I did Lyra and just as before her eyes dulled, her body went slack and soon collapsed into peaceful slumber
With a triumphant smirk I pick her up and carried her over to a tree that wasn't to far away go back to the stand and start to pack up
About an hour later I had loaded up the cart, taken it back to the barn, as well as running a quick inventory sweep, locked up the barn and walked back to the tree to check up on AJ.
When I arrive she was still sound asleep, wow this is powerful, I must use this abilty for good and the benefit of the world!...or when I get in trouble whichever comes first...probably the second one to be honest I mean let's just face facts...
I take a seat leaning on the tree and just gaze up at the wide blue sky, the same sky I used to play under as a child with my...friends...
I look over at the peacefully slumbering AJ, and gain a serene smile, the same sky that these new beings live under, I can tell that they are kind and giving race, however I can also tell they do not appreciate the sky they live under, or the earth that they walk on yet, but they are young and they are making good progress
My eyes drift to the main street and can see all the citizens of Ponyville going about their business, not a care in the world
"...No Rarity them's mah apples...wha?" I look back at AJ, I see her groggy eyed with a strand of spit hanging from her mouth
"Good afternoon sleepyhead"
Her gaze looks up to meet mine remaining unfocused for a full second until realization hit her and I jumped away from a quick kick aimed at me
"Whoa AJ now that was rude" I say with raised hands and a smile
"What'd ya do tah me?!" she demanded, but I could tell she wasn't exactly mad, just confused
"What? All I did help you to relax when you obviously needed to"
"Ah didn't need tah- Ah mean ah- *sigh* what time is it?" oh she gave up, didn't expect that
"Probably around six, six thirty maybe, why?"
She stiffens up and covers her eyes with her hooves
"Ah was supposed to have the cart back and inventory done by five! I'm gonna get such a-"
"I took care of it"
she freezes and lowers one hoof, one of her emerald eyes looks right at me
"Ya did?"
"Yep, when you were passed cold"
She gets quiet and looks like she's thinkin' about something
"Well, Thank ya kindly Mark, I really appreciate the help, so ah've decided tah not knock ya'lls block off"
"Oh thanks I really do like my block, it's very nicely shaped and toned"
"Anyway ah'll be on mah way, ah'll see ya'll tomorrow, take care Mark!" she trots away, with what I can see is a much more relaxed gait
I open the front door to golden oaks library as the sun was going down, I see Twilight sitting on the couch reading a book, I walk up next to her and take a seat next to her.
"Oh, hello Mark, how was your day?" she asks without looking up from her book, must be interesting
"Is good, is all good"
"Um, you mean 'it's good'" ...did she just correct my grammar?
"Uh sure, sure I mean yeah it's been good, met this unicorn, Lyra, she was nice, if a bit...eccentric"
"Well I'm happy your making friends making friends, oh! before I forget, there was a package sent to you from Princess Celestia"
"Really? Where is it?"
"On the kitchen table"
I get up from the couch and make my way to the kitchen, I see on the table a small bundle wrapped in cloth with a note on top, I take the note and read it
"Dear Mark Crow
Upon further excavations in the tomb we have found more human artefacts, most contained in air tight seals that we aren't capable of opening at the moment, however we did find one, very sure it belongs to you, hope to hear from you again soon
Sincerely Celestia"
My eyes drift to the bundle and reach my hand towards it
'I wonder what she found?'
My hand lightly grazes the cloth when my mind is assaulted by images of fire, pain and ancient whisperings echoing in the confines of my mind.
"Aaah!" I yell out in surprise and quickly withdraw my hand knocking the satchel to the ground
"Mark are you alright?! What's wrong?!" I hear Twilight yell to me
I take a quick second to compose myself before answering
"Y-yeah, Twilight, yeah I'm fine, just thought I saw a spider"
"Oh! Okay, geez you scared me half to death!"
I ignore Twilight's words, my focus was on what had fallen out of the cloth. On the floor laid a sheath with ancient runes that I had come to memorize. My old blade, an unassuming stone tecpatel eternally wrapped in ancient leather, this stone tool, is what I used to cut down an army and then laid to rest forever... now it has found its way back, and what's worse is that it calls to me once again.
'...Take up the blade...right your wrongs...assume...your...place!'
"STOP!" I yell as I sit up covered in cold sweat, clutching my chest with rasping breath
"Mark, are you alright?" A voice speaks to my side as I look and see Twilight and Spike looking up in concern
"...Y-yeah i'm fine"
"Another nightmare?" Spike asks
"Yeah"
"It's been two weeks since you got here and nearly every night since then you've had nightmares"
"I know Twilight, trust me I know" I say running my hands over my face
I know damn well it has to do with my Tecpatel, the first time I slept in a bed in god knows how long and all it was, was a taste of something I'm sure I'll never get again...peaceful sleep
"Mark, do you remember it this time?"
"No, I don't remember" I said without looking her in the eyes, I remembered the nightmares, I even have a good idea what they're about, but they don't need to know, besides, if I'm going to fix them I need someone that has skill in the ways of shamanic magic, not the raw ethereal magic that the unicorns have
"...Well, it's a long shot but maybe I can take you to a friend of mine?"
I look at Twilight through my fingers
"Wait...you know someone who could help? Why didn't you say anything sooner?"
"I didn't think it was really needed but, after last week I think we should try to get rid of these dreams as soon as possible"
Oh yeah, last week was...eventful to say the least. Due to my exhaustion brought on by the lack of sleep my behavior towards the citizens of ponyville. First was AJ, during my work I had fallen asleep in a hay pile and when AJ discovered me and tried to awaken me I had grabbed her and pulled her into my arms, apparently I said something in my sleep cuz when I woke up she was as red as Big Mac and now it's just awkward between me and her, speaking of Big Mac he thought it was the funniest damn thing on the planet, also I finally got to formally meet Granny Smith that sobered me up right quick since she basically ran me off the farm with a spoon, oh flashbacks, haven't been back since.
Next was Fluttershy, I was basically sleepwalking down the street when Fluttershy saw me and being the kind hearted mare she was asked what was wrong, unfortunately at that moment a nightmare I had been experiencing at the time reached its height I awoke seized my hands around her waist shaking her vigorously while yelling
'WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME SPIRITS! SPEAK!'
when I realized it was her my yelling dot the attention of everyone in the street and Fluttershy had become frozen in fear. I quickly carried her to a nearby bench. Now, whatever progress I'd made towards her evaporated in the space of a second...awesome...
Then there was Rarity, oh this one was a gem. I had just about enough of this ridiculousness and was getting pretty irritated with my situation, Rarity, while having gained some respect from her, she still treats me like some sort of walking plague. She finished making my clothes, very well made and deserving of thanks, but I wasn't in my right state of mind. She gave me my clothes saying that
'You had better respect the clothes I'm giving you, they're not the filthy loincloths you usually wear'
And of course I retorted, I said
'Well, at least loincloths don't give me any lip, thinking their better when from what I can see is a big waste of money on some shoddy excuse for clothing'
She immediately whipped around with a shocked look, 'are you saying my clothes are 'shoddy?!' How dare you!'
And I of course answered back 'Oh no, no, no, no I'm saying I'll just rip them up in the way I like, maybe in a loincloth, since I apparently like wearing them'
Seeing that I was getting to her, I gave her a smug smile as I walked out of her shop...looking back, probably not the smartest move on my part and she's treated me with extreme hostility since then.
Then came Pinkie Pie, alright this was a bit much even for me. I had come down to Sugar Cube Corner in hopes I could get something to eat. Pinkie of course greeted me and welcomed me into the kitchen, I of course went along with it. I waved to Mr. Cake at the register who waved back, I showed the cakes the trick I did with my finger and, while kicking themselves for losing a potential employee, quickly warmed up to me. I found Mrs. Cake cooking and having greeted her followed Pinkie to her area. She asked me to watch a tray full of baking goods, they were cooling by the window and said that sometimes ponies came by and snagged one or two when nobody was looking, and of course I said yes. A few minutes pass with me just sitting there watching the delicious pastries, I swear I closed my eyes for a second and when I opened them the entire tray was empty! At that moment was when Everyone and their mother saw the empty tray and the apparent crumbs on my face, the Cakes confronted me about it since the pastries were apparently going to some big client, Dirty wealthy or some shit I don't know. Anyway I ended up paying for the pastries outta pocket as well as being banned from Sugar Cube Corner for a week...I was devastated
Rainbow Dash was next, this one was more for my own genuine enjoyment. She has the nasty habit of randomly demanding me for challenges, like I'm some obstacle for her to overcome. This time she wanted to race me, she placed the starting line at the entrance of town, she pointed to a tree behind us and said
'The first to touch that tree's the winner! Of all time! Hope your ready cuz Imma 'bout stomp you into the ground!'
She sounded so confident, especially so since a small gathering of people had shown up to watch, what they believed to be, a severe ass kicking on my part. AJ was looking on from her stall and grabbed a basket full of pastries to sell to the crowd, Twilight was standing with a clipboard probably taking down notes and data on me, Fluttershy stood behind Twilight, still traumatized over the shaking incident, she was watching just outta curiosity more than likely, Rarity was just walking by and upon seeing what was going on was, surprisingly, the most vocal about expressing her desire to see me eating Rainbow's dust and wallowing in the dirt where she must assume I like being, Pinkie Pie started setting off some fireworks and made the simple race into some huge event, I don't understand how she does this but she did, I don't even understand how she got there, she just materialized it was insane, and finally were my crew, Spike and Big Mac, they were the only ones that seemed to truly be in my corner, Spike was cheering as loud as he could, Big Mac was waving a flag it was great, if I hadn't been so tired at that time I'm sure I would've shed a single manly tear.
The CMC we're the flag wavers, they stood on the line and waved the flag in preparation me and Rainbow took starting stances and the crowd quieted down, off to my side I could hear my friends especially Rarity, asking if I really thought I could beat Rainbow Dash in a race.
Apple Bloom raised the flag and lowered it and yelled out
'Three!',
Scootaloo took the flag and followed her friends example 'Two!',
Finally came Sweetie Belle raising and lowering the flag in a flourish yelling 'One! Go!'
And with that came a huge gust of wind and Rainbow was off Before I knew what happened she was outta sight, pretty sure she's doing a full revolution of the town, I was surrounded by a cloud of dust thrown up from her take off, it soon settled and the eyes of Ponyville's residents soon rested on me, some snickered, others shook their heads, they didn't realize it yet but I'd already won. With a small, tired smile I turned around and walked toward the finish line tree, my eyes widened slightly however when I noticed a small blue speck quickly approaching, wow Rainbow Dash is faster than I thought, however, as I reached out my hand, she wasn't fast enough.
As soon as I placed my hand on it I felt the tree shutter a split second later, she looks up from her position to my eyes with a smug grin but all that came crashing down when I said
'I win again',
Many of the pony's their wore confused faces including Rainbow so I decided to clarify, I said
'The rules were the first to touch this tree won the race, you never said what route I needed to take to get there',
Rainbow's eyes shrunk to pinpricks as did most of the onlookers even Pinkie was speechless which is saying something. I immediately felt something lift me up from underneath, I looked down and there I see Big Mac putting me on his back with Spike cheering as loudly as he could, soon the crowed began to dissipate and as I was carried off by Big Mac all I could hear behind me were the yells of Rainbow saying that this wasn't over and that one day she'll beat me, sure keep believin' that honey.
Anyway that long winded story was what Twilight was referring to and if she has an idea on how to get me some decent sleep then so be it.
"Alright, *sigh* couldn't hurt"
I say as I rise from my sleeping area and make my way to the door, since there was no way I was getting anymore sleep I thought I would just get up and some morning work outs, it was about seven anyways might as well.
About two hours later I'm greeted by Spike and Twilight as they make their way downstairs
"Spike, me and Mark are going into the Everfree forest to see Zecora, we'll be back soon, make sure your chores are done by the time I get back"
Spike quickly gains a downcast look along with letting out an disappointed sigh
"Come on Twilight, let him play outside with his friends"
She gives me a look like a mother who just got questioned
"Excuse me?" oh I know that dangerous tone
"I mean, what's he gonna learn here doing chores? Nothing! Let him hang out with his friends today, I'll help with the chores when we get back" I say with a withered smile under her piercing stare.
"Hmm, okay you convinced me, Spike go play with your friends today, and when we get back Mark's going to help you do your chores"
"Alright!" He yells, jumping in the air pumping his fist
As he runs past me we quickly bump fists and he soon disappears behind the library's door
Twilight looks at me and smiles
"Come on, let's go see Zecora"
We make our way towards the large forest that I've seen to the west of Ponyville. As we get closer I can see that Twilight seems to be getting visibly more shaken, if only slightly
"Hey Twilight"
My voice startled her, she turned to me with an embarrassed look
"Sorry, yeah Mark?"
"What's wrong? You seem on edge?"
"Oh, it's nothing, just the Everfree" I turn my head to look at the Forest that we were now entering
"Yeah? What's so weird about it?"
"Well, it's just that there's supposed to be dangerous creatures in the forest"
"Okay, as is with any wild land" she looks at me with a raised eyebrow
"The place is just creepy"
"Alright, I disagree but go on" she gives me another look
"And the weather here changes, all on its own"
"Oh! You mean like, you know, nature?"
When I get tired I get sassy, anyway, yeah they probably would think its scary that the forest regulates itself and isn't under their control, the fact that the pegasi control the meteorological activity of many parts of Equestria really threw me for a loop, and not the good kind. I personally think this will harm them in the future but that has nothing to do with the current situation.
"Oh haha, no need to get snippy"
"...your right, I'm sorry Twilight, I'm just really tired"
She gives me a small smile
"It's okay Mark, let's just go see Zecora"
FIve minutes later we come across a tree with carved wooden spirit masks, glass bottles hanging from its branches, and a faint glow coming from the inside. I followed Twilight to the front door and waited as she knocked. A few minutes pass and the door opens revealing a zebra with a Mohawk, neck rings, arm rings, and hoop earrings...interesting. She looks at Twilight, then at me, she was able to hide it well but I could see her surprise.
"...Well this is new, hello Twilight what can I do for you?" she took this better than I thought, nice rhyme too
"Hello Zecora, can we come in?" asks Twilight and Zecora moves aside allowing us to enter her home, on my way in I give a low bow of my head expressing gratitude, as I look up I see her eyes widen at my actions probably not expecting such respect from a stranger.
"Sorry for dropping in on you so suddenly Zecora" Twilight apologizes while taking a seat on a stool next to a cauldron, I look around the inside of the hut, more spirit masks, bottles, leopard skin sheets, water skins...I like it
"Do not worry dear friend, what is your problem so that I may mend" I take a seat near Twilight and listened as she explained the situation, Zecora sat patiently occasionally nodding in understanding.
"...And that's why we're here, do you think you can help my friend?"
I sit cross legged hoping that she could help me, what I would give for a good nights sleep
"...no, I don't I can, for I don't know where all these dreams began"
"I can tell you" Twilights head snapped to her side with a surprised look
"But, you told me that you couldn't remember"
"Yeah, sorry Twilight, didn't tell you the truth but this is private, in fact I need to speak with Zecora alone" I say calmly while making and keeping eye contact with Zecora
Twilight gives me a look
"But-"
"Twilight, please, I'll meet you back at the library" I say with no room for argument
An awkward silence fills the hut, eventually Twilight stands and makes her way to the door
"Okay, well, I'll see you later, I hope this helps"
"I'm sure it will, later Twilight" I say with a calm face never breaking eye contact with Zecora, I know imma get shit from the tiny, loud voice in the back of my head
'OH YOU UNGRATEFUL, RUDE, CHICKEN-SHIT MOTHER FUCKER!!!' ...*sigh* yep there it is
Twilight walks out of the hut in a slightly more somber fashion than before, great now I feel bad, but back to the matter at hand
"I felt it as soon as you entered my home, your spirit is not alone" Zecora speaks up suddenly
My eyes widen at her words
"So you can feel spirits, you are a shaman"
"Yes, this is true, now what exactly can I do for you"
"I need you to get me in contact with the spirits"
Her eyes shrink in shock and gains a look as if offended, which is to be expected, it's the equivalent of a thief demanding a king to marry his daughter on the grounds that thief wants to
"Get in contact? That is obscene! They are the spirits! Who do you think you be?"
"An old friend" I say with a growl, this is getting old, and while I usually do have patience, a sense of dread has been building since I've gotten the dreams, something's wrong and I need to know what
Zecora takes on a look of understanding, she stands and walks over to a shelf with rows of bottles each containing dark swirling liquids, she takes one from the far back and brings it over to me and places it in my hand
"Drink this and lay down, when your business is done you will come around" I look down at the murky, black substance in the glass, okay let's get this done
I un-cork the bottle and down the containers contents, I then lay my head down and shut my eyes, letting sleep take me
My eyes open in an inky blackness, I'm utterly alone, my heart starts to speed up in slight fear, I really hope this is where I need to be, it's been a long time since I spoke with the spirits and I never liked being here, a realm where flesh and blood was never meant to tread. The ground I feel beneath my feet is quiet yet I can feel a faint thumping, as if there is a great heart beat under my feet. Suddenly a light shines upon me from above and a great booming voice assaults me from above
"So, the Snake returns, we were wondering when you would come back to us"
I turn my eyes towards the light and see great floating beings, their eyes burning with ethereal energy, each having displays of what exactly their domain over the planet was, such as great boulders flying around them, or being having lightning arcing around there great semi-transparent form. One spirit in particular approached me with a grace and obvious sense of self-pride, one very familiar to me, his body engulfed by blue flame. I get my knees and bow my head to the floor as I should
"Great spirits, please hear me," I don't look up but I can feel their eyes burn into me, "I have awoken to a new world, hoping to find peace but you've called me here to you, what is-"
"You wish for peace? You will never know peace so long as your fight is unfinished" the spirit in front of me spoke evenly, but his words rocked me all the same
"W-what do you mean?"
Then came a louder, more forceful voice from the spirit surrounded by earth, her voice sounded offended
"You were the one to take up the blade, to take up the responsibility, you were the one that attracted death and corruption to this world, you were even unable to fix what you destroyed and now, you have the gall to wish for peace?!"
"Please, Tonantzin" the spirit of fire spoke in a scolding manner
"No, Xiuhticuhtli, your champion allows my beautiful earth to nearly fall at the hands of those parasites and now, after all that he has done, he wants peace? HE IS LUCKY THAT WE DID NOT STRIP HIM OF HIS ENERGYAND SEND HIM TO SUFFER FOR ALL ETERNITY FOR HIS CRIMES!" with that outburst came many other voices agreeing with the earth spirit
"ENOUGH!" demanded Xiuhticuhtli and all talking ceased, just as influential as ever huh? He turns to me with a grim face
"Champion, many eons ago, you took up my blade, my fire, even my name and agreed to be this world sword and shield, yet you allowed evil to darken the skies, to boil the seas and rip the earth asunder, and we as the spirits should have punished you a long time ago"
Many spirits growled in agreement, not going well for me
"Yet here you stand only because you have proven your strength, you saved your people from utter destruction, found them a new home, and wiped out nearly all traces of that ancient evil, but we wouldn't have called you here if you had won your freedom"
Oh man, I really thought I wasn't gonna wake up, leave it to my patron spirit to protect me, I rise from my feet and stand before the spirits ready to hear what was needed
"There are still pockets of this evil buried beneath rock and stone, remnants of human technology not meant for the new inhabitants of this world, you were meant to be a protector of this world, and that means to protect the people from themselves, if even one were to find the wrong artefact, it can start everything over again"
With his words my heart dropped, everything starting over, no, not again
"You must take up your blade, fight, become what you were meant to be and stand strong"
My eyes lower, I don't want to fight anymore, especially that old horror
"However" my eyes look up at the fire spirit
"I offer you a second choice, I will grant you peace by draining all the magical energy from you, killing you and sending you to the great spirit allowing him to judge you, at least then you have a chance to be with your family and friends" My eyes widen, peace? True freedom?
A great uproar from the other spirits came from his offer, and with a single scathing look they were silenced once more
"But in doing so will leave this world defenseless for a time, as well as passing on your mistakes on to a new, less prepared champion" With that thought I think of the friends I've made in the short time I've been here, Spike, Big Mac, Twilight, Pinkie, Celestia, Shy, Rainbow, AJ, even Rarity, could I really leave them with my problems?
"In a months time" the voice tears me from my thoughts as I refocus on the fire spirit
"Make your way back to the temple, where it all began, there you will make your choice but for now" a small smile adorns his face as he places a warm hand on my shoulder, like a father would do for a distraught son
"I will grant you a peaceful sleep, now awaken!"
My eyes snap open and I take a deep breath, Zecora jumps at my sudden movement she comes near and asks if I was alright, and say I'm fine, which isn't true, I stand and I tank her for her time, then I depart from her home. I make my way through town, I see all my friends on my way back, they go to try to talk to me but end up stopping short upon seeing my tired, sunken face, perhaps it would be best to speak with me tomorrow. I finally open the doors to Golden Oaks Library and I'm greeted by Twilight and Spike
"Mark! How did it go?"
I take one look at Twilight and she gasps at my exhausted look
"It went fine, imma go pass out for the next thousand years kay?"
"You sure your okay dude? You seem...I don't know messed up" Spike asks as I walk passed him
I give a tired smile and reply with a yes, before I could make it all the way upstairs though Twilight calls me from downstairs
"Oh yeah before I forget, Celestia sent more packages for you, and a letter"
I freeze, an icy claw goes down my back
"Okay, I'll take a look at them first thing tomorrow, goodnight" I say over my shoulder
"Goodnight Mark"
"See ya tomorrow man!"
I lay in my makeshift bed, thinking, I thought speaking to the spirits would give me peace, if anything it just made things worse, now I have a choice, whether to live in a constant vigil, taking the worlds problems on my shoulders again, or dying...tough choice, and another invisible dread, what exactly did they mean by 'remnants'? This bothered me, planting fear in my heart at what the true meaning to these words might mean, eventually however these thoughts gave way to the first peaceful sleep I had since I got here
*Third person POV*
In the Equestrian wasteland a great minotaur breaks through an old tomb, he is a treasure hunter, not well known but has recently came across an ancient map pointing out what he believed to be old treasure troves of a long lost empire. He made it through many traps set untold millenia ago to make it to his prize, a single spiked mace on an alter, as he lays his hands on the hilt, he can feel a rush of energy enter his body, old primordial magics never meant to be seen on this world again. He leans his head back and screams in unimaginable agony as the energy rips and tears at his body forcing his mortal shell to accommodate this new, fel power, soon these screams gave way to unholy laughter then stops altogether, the minotaur was gone and in his place was an aberration of life, an affront to all that walks on this planet. He hefts the great mace upon his now malformed, gargantuan shoulders and walks to a destination only the mortal shells new occupant knows.
I wake up early the next morning, I feel great! All the stress from my lack of sleep has faded away, but a new stress has filled the void: What will I choose? To live, taking on the worlds problems as my own, putting myself in service to the spirits once again, opting to protect this world till the end of time, or to die and be sent to the great spirit to be judged, possibly reuniting with my family, returning to my people, finally achieving peace...I have to say, that last one doesn't sound to bad.
Now don't get me wrong, I've never been nor will I ever be suicidal, so get that thought outta your heads, but I'd be lying if I didn't say that sounded tempting, a reprieve from this, the constant worry and stress, sure if I'm gone everyone here will "inherit" my problems but, how bad could that be right? I mean, I pushed that ancient evil off my world, life returned and has prospered in my absence, they don't need me here anymore...
"Ugh! I need to take a walk" I stand from my bed, brush my teeth and leave the library.
As I walk the streets of a darkened Ponyville I glance up at the moon
"Ah Metztli, as beautiful as ever huh?" I say smiling, I take my eyes off the moon and start to just enjoy the night, from where the moon is I can tell its probably around three in the morning.
I make my way through the deserted streets just thinking to myself trying to figure out what to do, especially considering the events of last week, how am I going to patch things up with my friends and OH SHIT! I didn't help Spike clean up yesterday, fuck, now I owe him.
"Damn, how am I gonna make it up to Spike for flaking on cleaning yesterday?"
"I don't know, maybe some gem cupcakes?"
"Holy fuck! Pinkie please! You gave me a heart attack!" I yell as I jump a good five feet away from her
She just materialized near me, like some Doctor Who shit
"Oh, I'm sorry, you okay?"
"Yeah I'm fine, quick question why're you up?"
"Well I am super duper excited for the Apple Family's cider!"
"Cider?"
"Yeah! Cider season starts today! AJ and her family have been working really hard to get ready, I was so excited that I couldn't sleep so I decided to wait in line early! You wanna join?!"
I give it a thought, I mean, cider sounds good, I might even be able to apologize to my friends for the way I acted last week
"...Why not sounds fun"
"YAY! Markie's gonna hang out with me!"
Jeez she sounds like she won the lottery, we start walking, well I start walking, she's hopping, towards Sweet Apple Acres.
We arrive at Sweet Apple Acres and AJs' stand is already set up, no one's arrived yet, sweet front of the line
"Ok Pinkie so how long till it opens?"
"In about five hours"
"Five hours?!" UGH! WAITING!
"Don't worry I got a tent!" then she pulled out a tent...how, How, HOW!? I mean she's naked, there are no pockets on her, how could she have been hiding a tent for two!? I mean shit man?! So I had only one course of action
"Well isn't that nice" don't address it, just move on
She gestures for me to enter the tent
As I enter the tent I see sleeping bags already set up, when did she have time to do this?
"Well make yourself comfortable"
"Okay, thanks Pinks, I appreciate it"
"Oh! Pinks! Is that my nickname!? I love it!" I mean I could call her worse names but why would I do that?
I take a seat on the sleeping bag nearest the flap, Pinkie climbs over me to get to the other sleeping bag
"So how're things Markie?" oh that name
"Things are...well they're things"
Pinkie gained a bit of a puzzled look
"Why? What's the matter?" she asked with sincerity
For a second, I fell silent, allowing my exhaustion and uncertainty to show through, and allowing the bright pink pony to witness my scars for only the tiniest moment in time before I masked it once again. I refocus on Pinkie to see a shocked look on her face, like she had just witnessed a train wreck inches from her face, which, in all honesty, I must have looked like
"...Pinkie..." I say solemnly, "Nothings wrong, I'm just a little off today is all" Flashing the brightest smile I could, but one look and I could tell she knew I was bullshitting
We just sit there awkwardly staring at each other for a time, I didn't know what else to say to get me out of the predicament I had put myself in, she had probably the most serious face on I had ever seen her have, or even imagine she could have
"look Pinkie, it's something I have to deal with, human business, nothing you need to worry about" her face starts to soften at my sincere words, "I promise, I'll be fine"
"Okie dokie, but pinkie promise me, if it's something important, you tell us"
"'Us'?"
"Yeah, me, Twilight and the others, we're your friends, even Rarity, we'll help, no matter what's bothering you"
'If only you knew Pinkie, if only any of you knew a fraction of the storm that I've been asked to walk' I thought somberly
I look at her in the eyes, expecting me to make a promise I can't keep, a promise that, more than likely, will be broken
"*sigh* Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye" I chant her most sacred of melodies as I go through the necessary motions, oh god, well I'm in trouble now
I large smile stretches across her face, inside a second she had cross the distance and wrapped her hooves around my neck, immediately the stress and worry I had been feeling melted away, as if nothing in this world or the next could possibly interfere with my happiness, it felt amazing
Soon though her hug ended and she moved away, she sat back in her sleeping bag and smiled at me and I gave a genuine smile in return, then I remembered something
"Hey Pinks, how're the Cakes?"
"They're fine, why do you ask?"
"I just wanted to apologize to you and them, I really didn't mean to eat all those pastries, I was going through some stuff and it's all fixed now" I say with an apologetic look
"Oh that? They forgave you a while ago, apparently when they chased you out of Sugar Cube Corner and you were trying to explain yourself, saying how you couldn't help it, that they were some of the best you've ever had, ponies over heard you and wanted to see what the fuss was about, they got like, triple business all week!"
"...Do you forgive me?" I ask her sincerely
"Of course, why wouldn't I? Personally I thought it was hilarious!" She asks
I breathe a sigh of relief, I've always had a problem with forgiveness, usually accepting it, so of course I answer back
"That ain't good enough!" I yell standing up in the tent, with my fists clenched, Pinkie gave a startled squeak at my sudden out burst, "You can tell them that I, Mark Crow, here by offer my services as free labor for a week! This I Swear!" I yell raising my fists above my head animatedly
After my over dramatic declaration she started to laugh, damn even her laugh calms me down, I lower my arms and join her
"I'll be sure to do that"
We both lie back onto our sleeping bags, and just stare into the tents ceiling
slowly my eyes start to shut, and I let sleep take me
"MARKIE! MARKIE WAKE UP!"
Yelling along with violent shaking is what greeted me as my eyes opened, immediately I leapt to me feet with my fists raised in an attack stance ready to fight, this action however lead to me launching Pinkie up and out of the tent, this was accompanied by a 'WHEEEE!' as she flew a good ten feet into a nearby tree, upon realizing what I've done, I stick my head out of the pony sized hole in the tent and look up and see Pinkie tangled up in the trees branches
"Hey Pinks, you alright?"
"Yeah! That was great!" she giggles, She gives very little fucks about anything huh?
I take a second to turn my head and see a huge line of ponies behind us and they all have their eyes on me, Pinkie slowly makes her way down and walks over to the tent
"Sorry about the tent Pinkie, I'll pay you back" I apologize as I duck my head to exit the tent
"It's no problem, thanks" she accepts and we begin to fold up the tent
All of a sudden I feel a whoosh behind me and the unmistakable voices of Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash, this is gonna be fun I can tell
"Hi Fluttershy! Hi Rainbow Dash!" Yelled Pinkie as I continued to roll up the tent
"Hi Pinkie, it's nice to se-"
"Who are all these ponies!?" interrupted Rainbow
Yeah that's what I want to know
"Oh, well I was super duper excited for Cider season and I got this brilliant idea to camp out, so I was on my way and I ran into Markie" she gestures to me
"Yo" I answer walking over to the group, I notice Fluttershy fly behind RD and said mare gaining a fierce look, aw man now I feel bad, I have to make sure I apologize to Fluttershy, and Rainbow? She will feel the power of my gloating for I regret nothing!
"Eventually a bunch of other ponies saw us and got the same idea, and that's what happened!" She looks out over the massive line behind her, "Oh boy, I hope they don't run out before you get any", that was cold, unintentional or not that was like a serious middle finger, and Rainbows face showed it, she was pissed! So of course I decided to join in
"I don't know about you Pinkie, but I can't wait to try some of that cider, it'll be delicious! Especially since we get the first" I smirk while never breaking eye contact with rainbow, oh she knew what I was up to and I loved that she knew
"Oh Mark I'm going to hurt you so bad"
"Oh your so cute when your mad" I say this getting nose to nose with her
The reaction was immediate, her face got red, with anger or embarrassment I couldn't tell, maybe both, her head reeled back and eyes shrinking to pin pricks
"Did you just call me cute!?" she demanded with teeth bared and with a grin I replied
"D-d-d-d-d-d-did I stutter?" Oh man I think she might tackle me, this is getting good, her and I immediately go head-to-head glaring at each other
That's when Pinkie gets in between us somehow in a referees uniform
"Alright folks I want a clean fight no hitting below the belt, no biting, no name calling, no dumb puns" which got a 'aww' from me
"Alright ponies let's get ready to RUMBLE!" That was when I noticed a crowd had gathered around us putting us in a circle, nice, I see Fluttershy next to Dash trying to find some way to defuse the situation and right when Pinkie was going to lower her hoof
"AY!" we all stop and turn to the new voice, it was an old green mare with a scowl that could stop a raging bull, Granny Smith the matriarch of the Apple family, behind her was Big Mac, Apple Bloom and Apple Jack all carrying barrels of what I must assume is cider, they each wore curious looks on their faces wondering what was going on
"What in tarnation's goin' on here?!"
The crowd dissipated immediately going back to their original spots in line leaving me, Rainbow, Pinkie and Fluttershy standing there
Granny Smiths eyes glance over us and upon finding me they stayed and narrowed, oh boy
"Oh it's you"
"Hi" I wave at her with a smile and the other apples who wave back, except AJ who just turns her Stetson down covering her face and going back to work, hmm strange
Granny Smith starts to approach us
"Now I'm gonna ask ya'll this one more time, What in tarnation's goin' on here?" Oh crap that's her grandma voice, that's the voice you don't fuck with. Ok, the one who answers will probably get it easy so, I'll let Pinkie or Fluttershy answer, more than likely they'll be able to get us off the ho-
"We weren't doing anything"
Rainbow Dash you Fool! Don't you know? Grandmas know Everything!
Granny Smiths' eyes turn to Rainbow
"Excuse me?" Oh shit, she marches over to Rainbow
"From what I could hear it sounded like someponies were fightin' and I don't tolerate that kind of behavior here, now since your so keen on answerin' hows about you tell me what happened, and just so you know, whoever was fightin' isn't gettin' no cider today"
A collective gasp resounded around the ponies around me and those waiting in line, Rainbows face turned white, wow this cider must be damn good
"Well, i'm waitin'" I look up at Big Mac to gauge his reaction, the look on his face confirmed my belief, she wasn't playing, this was for real
Rainbow Dash sighs and lifts her head to look Granny Smith in the eye
"Well, I wa-"
"It was me" I say cutting in before Rainbow could finish
"Oh really?" Granny says raising her eyebrow
"Yeah, I was teasing her, and I pushed her a little too far, that was my fault, all me, this guy" It was the only way, sacrifices had to be made
She stands there staring into my eyes trying to see if I was lying
"Well alrighty then, that's it then yah ain't gettin' any cider today" I sigh in relief, then she pulls me closer and whispers in my ear "Ya'll is lucky yah gettin' any at all" to which I could only answer back with:
"Okay Grandma" this was the smallest, and meekest voice I had ever heard myself speak in since my own grandma was around, wow, that's scary
"And you three" the three other ponies around me stiffened up when being addressed by the older mare, "Get back in line or no cider for you either" they immediately left me sitting in the dirt, thanks friends, and I notice all the eyes on me
She makes her way back to a stand that AJ had set up during the whole thing
Well, nothin' else to do but chill I guess, I make my way over to a shady tree and sit there contemplating the fact that I just got punished by an elderly tachnicolor horse with a butt tattoo, as well as the fact that I used to have near godlike power untold millennia ago...what the fuck is going on with my life?
A few hours pass and I fall asleep, eventually I feel a poke in my side that wakes me up I sit up and look around to see Twilight, Spike, Rarity and Pinkie standing there, holding mugs of bubbling cider, smiling at me, well except Rarity but I deserve it
"Hey guys"
"Hello Mark"
"Sup Bro"
"Hiya"
"Hmph"
I stand and stretch, popping my back a few times
"So what's going on?" I ask with a yawn
Spike hops off of Twilights back and walks over and takes a seat next to me
"Nothing much, we got our cider and now we're just relaxing"
Twilight and Pinkie take a seat in the shade with me while Rarity making an effort to stay the farthest away from me, putting herself in the hot sun
I sit there staring at her as did the others
"What-what're you doing?"
"Taking a seat"
"Yeah i see that but why in the sun? Don't you wanna sit here in the shade?"
"I am perfectly alright sitting here" she shot with her usual venom
"Rarity come on! Look what if I scoot over? That way you don't have to sit next to me and we both get to sit in the shade" I offer hoping to coax her, well it at least seems as though she calmed down significantly since the last time I saw her
"No, I'd rather sit out in the sun and sweat like a pig than be anywhere near anyone as ungrateful as you, hmph!" and with that she sticks her nose up in the air
Ok I've had enough, with a straight face I stand up, walk over to her and pick her up from under the arms, she's not very heavy
I could feel everyones eyes on me, Rarity's as well since I caught her off guard so her's held a bit of panic from being in the air
"What are you doing you ruffian put me down this instant!" She yelled kicking her hooves like a dog held over water, cute
I take her over to where I was sitting and place her in my spot and I take her spot in the sun
"There, now your the same distance from me, your in the shade and i'm in the sun, happy?"
"..." Rarity gives me a glare but I can tell, no matter how much she may deny it, she was grateful
Then we all sit in silence, eventually the awkwardness of the little exchange me and Rarity had ends and eventually everyone starts talking with each other, I just usually kept quiet and enjoyed the sun, ah I love the sun's rays I don't get tired or overheated in the sun like most people do, I was like that before , everyone I knew thought I was crazy enjoying weather that was over a hundred degrees
"Hey Mark"
"Yeah Twilight?"
"Since we got a little time I wanted to ask a few more questions about humans"
"Ok shoot" When I say that I notice everyone else, even Rarity perked up, guess i'm more interesting than I thought
She magically levitates a quill and parchment from god knows where and gets ready to jot down everything I say, *sigh* student to the core huh?
"Well I wanted to know more about human kingdoms"
"Kingdoms?"
"Yeah who rules your people?"
"Heh, that's a funny question"
"Why is it a funny question?" Twilight asks
"Well the funny part of it is that most of my people for the longest time were fractured and separate, many warring nations constantly at each others throats" I say with a grin
I quickly assessed the faces of the group, they were all shocked I guess war isn't a very common occurrence here and to hear that war and death was something that was almost daily had shocked them
"Really? Then how do humans live with each other?"
"We usually don't, we have a hard time putting up with each other, most of the time over ridiculous reasons"
"How ridiculous?" Rarity asked this one, and not with a snotty attitude with genuine curiosity
"Like, you hating Twilight since she's purple and your white" I say pointing at Rarity's coat
The two unicorns look at each other then back at me and they both start laughing along with Spike and Pinkie
I let them have their laugh and I chuckled myself
"Wow that is ridiculous" Twilight said wiping a tear from her eye
"Yeah it was, but old hatreds were still present when I left, shadows from ages passed, but I got off topic, no we don't have Kingdoms, we have nations led by elected officials"
"You mean like mayors?"
"Yeah, but with a lot more power"
"Really? There are no human kings or queens?"
"No there are kings and queens in certain human nations each nation usually followed their own ideologies which usually brings us back to the previous topic"
"Well it seems that your people are truly barbaric, fighting for such trivial reasons" Rarity shoots at me, aww I thought we made progress
"Well Rarity, I do agree that humanity can be quite barbaric at times, however humans are a people guided by their emotions and as well as having a hard time accepting new things, people and beliefs, even though humanity usually meets with swords and spears, if given time you'll see the true blooming flower of humanities heart"
Silence, I look up at the faces of my Pony and Dragon friends, they all looked, well I can't really explain it, impressed?
"Wow, that was very poetic Mark"
"Thanks Twilight" Ok, wasn't really going for poetic but ok
"Nice" Spike said, good to see he has an appreciation for art
"Yes, I'm impressed that a sense of art is even present in someone like you" Wow a compliment from Rarity! It was a bullshit, backhanded compliment, but, hey I'll take it!
"Yeah! That was great!" Ahh Pinkie always outspoken
"Thanks but if it's alright with you I'd rather not talk about human politics, it's usually a very complicated and tiresome topic that I'm sure I'm gonna get in trouble with someone about"
"Well ok, so how about you tell us about-"
"Oh surprise surprise!" We all turn our heads to look at the line to see an irate Rainbow and a worried looking Applejack
"You ran out again!" oh my god did they run out of cider before she could get any? Aw! That kinda made my sacrifice meaningless
"Yeah! What's the big deal we've been waiting all day" some stallion said coming from the line
Then just like that, a bunch of angry yells came from the ponies that must have been waiting all day to get a taste
I'd be mad, waiting all day in the hot sun only to be denied, ah well that's life
AJ jumps on top of the stand and addresses the crowd
"Now hold on every pony, we've done our best to improve supply this year-"
"You always say that!" don't fuckin' interrupt a lady...
"And it's always true, we here at Sweet Apple Acres pride ourselves on makin' the best darn cider in Equestria, but that takes time and a lot work " well put AJ well put
The crowd soon dissipates grumbling angrily
"Now don't ya'll worry none, we'll have more cider tomorrow, just be patient"
I see Rainbow Dash walk away from the stand with a grumpy face, I see Pinkie's eyes light up and then I blink ,then she's right in front of Rainbow, Jesus she's quick!
Me and the rest of the group walk over to her
"Come on Dashie! Don't look so sad! You can't rush perfection, and this years cider was perfection!" I wince and quickly make my way over to her putting my hand around Pinkie
"Ok Pinks I think she gets it" Silencing her
Rainbow, upon seeing me, narrows her eyes and looks like she's about to say something when we all hear a noise coming down the road, sounds to me like an old car
We all look down to see a very steam punk-esc machine with two unicorn stallions driving it, both yellow with red manes with a white stripe, both had straw hats and one had a mustache. Soon the strange machine pulls up and stops in front of the stand while also damaging the apples' fence. Fuckin' rude.
The two stallions hop off their machine, I immediately get the impression of two turn of the century salesmen trying to sell snake oil
Then, they break into song, what? They just started singing some patter song and everybody's eating it up, they introduce themselves as Flim and Flam
"Hey Spike what's going' on?"
Spike just looks at me and shrugs his shoulders, "I don't know man, this happens sometimes"
"Seriously?"
"It's not that bad, it at least keeps things interesting", I mean I guess
Wow now even the crowds getting into it, ok so their showing how the machine works, taking apples and making it into cider, hmph all I see is unneeded smoke and damaging of the trees, and of course the crowd was eating it up, yeah I can see where this is going
I look at Spike to see if he's eating up this particular load of shit, oh ok he has a skeptical look on him, respect earned Spike the Dragon, respect earned
They offered some to Granny Smith and the look on her face shows that the cider tastes ok at least
Eventually the song ends and the two Stallions make their way over to the Apples, so basically that whole song was a sales pitch to get the apples to partner with them
"Ya'll got a deal" yelled Applebloom, someone please stop the child from selling property please
"Now hold on just a minute" Granny Smith to the rescue, pulling Applebloom away from the unicorn brothers
They get into a huddle to discuss this, what do they have to discuss? The answer's simple, no, that's all you need to say, I already know how this is going to go down, they're gonna try to undercut you, then they're going to sell inferior, knockoff cider using crops that you work to make and eventually they'll take you over that's how this always turns out, don't believe them! The cake is a lie!
Then the two stallions make their way over and sneak their way into their huddle, corporate espionage! That's corporate espionage!
Ok my curiosity has been peaked I close my eyes and focus my trained hearing on their conversation, but due to the crowds noise I only hear a bit of what was being said, but I heard all I needed to hear, the two brothers offer the apple's seventy five-twenty five split going their way, that's a load of horse shit! They agree to terms like that they'd make no money outta the deal!
The one with the mustache, Flim I think, walks out towards the crowd and stands tall, whats this guy about to say?
"Ponies of ponyville! How long have you waited with parched throats?" Oh I see what he's doing, sly mother fucker
"Your children without a drop to drink!" Dramatic little- they can drink water!
"You poor ponies deserve better and with this machine we could give you cider for three ponyvilles, YEAR ROUND!" Oh god my ears! The whole crowd exploded with cheers, I look up to see Rainbow Dash losing her shit! Like seriously she's doing flips in the air, twirling around and shit I mean damn! Calm down!
"But this can only happen if the Apple Family here agrees to partner with us at the terms we've set, so tell them Ponyville tell them what you want!" They crowd goes into a frenzy, they start to chant "Do it!" over and over again, this is getting stupid, and my disappointment grew when I hear that these same chants are being repeated by the ponies I've actually come to respect
"Come on AJ!" This came from Rainbow, well so much for loyalty
"Yeah! Do it!" Pinkie, come on
"Oh yes Applejack! Do it!" Rarity, please
"..." Flutter shy just looked worried, as she should be
I look over at Twilight to see her putting one of her hooves up to her mouth and gaining a serious look, as if she's doing calculations in her head, hopefully she'll come up with the same outcome I did
And Spike, surprising me again, he wore a frown on his face shaking his head, at a boy Spike, question the system!
Hey, Mark relax, your getting too worked up, it's not your problem, let these people make their own choices, and mistakes, remember your just a bystander now, you don't need to get involved, besides there was no way the Apple's were gonna take this deal
However, when I looked at the Apple family they looked conflicted, probably due to the fact that their customers and friends just turned on them for some fancy new toy, but come on! Were they actually considering this errant bullshit! They went back to their huddle, you gotta be fuckin' kidding me! Ok, Relax! Mark, breath imagine a stream, filled with cold refreshing water
They stayed discussing this for a good ten minutes, eventually they break, each wearing unsure looks on their faces...what is going on?
Granny Smith walks forward with a troubled look on her face, there is no fuckin' way
"Well, Flim Flam," Imagine the steam, don't get involved
"While we'd prefer to keep to ourselves, and Apple cider season to a tradition, ya'll are right in your words, the ponies of ponyville *sigh* do deserve better, and if we could we'd give'm exactly what they want" You. Are. A. Leaf. Floating in the stream! DO NOT GET INVOLVED!
"But with the way it is, we don't see another way to please all the ponies of ponyville" YOUR A LEAF, A LEAF IN A CALM, CALM STREAM!!!
"So we would-" FUCK THE STREAM!!!!
"DON'T DO IT!" The chanting stops, everyone and their mother turned to look at me, and I gave them something to look at my teeth were bared, fists clenched and my eyes, burning with a fiery intensity, stunning many of the ponies around me especially my friends. I'm sorry but, there was no way in hell I was gonna let this stand, I may have been denied their cider, Granny Smith may hate my guts for a reason I'm not entirely sure about yet, but I know a raw deal when I hear it, I've been gettin' those all my life and I'll be damned if Imma sit back and let it happen to anyone, especially if it's to people as nice as the Apple's
I meet Granny Smiths eyes, who looked confused and startled at my loud and unexpected outburst
"Don't you see? They're gonna take you all for fools!" I say marching closer to the Apple's and the two thieves in hats
"They'll say they'll do this and they'll say they'll do that when in reality all they'll do is take and take and take until there is nothing left, they'll sell a shitty mass produced knock off with no regards for the craft or the people" I yell pointing an accusing finger at the two sales ponies
"They don't respect the land, they don't respect the craft, they don't respect the people and they don't respect your family or your work, the only thing they respect is the coins in their pocket" I turn to the Apple's with a concerned look
"You have worked hard and long everyday to maintain this farm and to care for these trees, this farm is a home that your family is proud of to call such and you've gotten apple farming and baking to a science, your craft is your families legacy, these two!" I turn, pointing to the two brothers, "are nothing but swindlers, who while having built this machine only did so to profit from doing absolutely nothing! And I'll be Damned if I'm gonna let that go quietly!" thus ends my unneeded, unasked for, and completely unwanted rant
And once again I'm met with silence, I look out at the crowd to find there mouths hanging open
"Hahahah, brother do you see this? I don't believe you have any stake in this, strange...monkey thing" That's true, but it needed to be said
"Yes, who are you anyway? You know what never mind, we have a business deal to finish now if you'll excus-"
"No"
All attention turned to Granny Smith, who now sports a look of solid indisputable authority
"Um, excuse us?" she didn't fuckin' stutter
"Ah said no, we ain't sellin'" She said finally, and I gained a small smile, that's right you do it right or you don't do it at all
The crowd did not like that, the boo's came immediately but this time the Apple Family stood resolute staring down the two brothers with some back up from yours truly, well to be honest most of the boo's were for me, I mean yeah the whole, cider for everyone year round would sound good, if you didn't know the consequences that came with it
Flim and Flam back off with surprise plastered over their faces, however they quickly compose themselves and regain their confident smirks, good God I wanna smack them!
"Well that's all well and good Apple's and we commend you for your pride, but how will you be able to satisfy everyone hmm?" The Apples once again falter only slightly
Well time to seal the deal, I walk up to Granny Smith, she eyes me as I walk up to her, kneeling down so what I say can be said to her while looking her in the eye
"Granny Smith, I offer my service to you, I'll help with anything you need for as long as you need me as an apology for butting into your families business dealings, with no payment, this was my choice and I need to own up to it, I'll even have no cider for the rest of this cider season" That got a reaction, muttering came from the crowd, "Will you accept my apology" I look up to see Granny Smiths reaction, her eyes held a critical look, she was appraising the quality of my words, to see if there was any truth to them, she'll find the promises I make are unbreakable
"Well, ya'll got us into this situation with your words, rilin' us up like that, so yes, I'll accept your apology" she says with a small smirk
"Thank you ma'am, you won't regret it" I stand and walk over to the rest of the apple's who gave me wide eyed stares, surprised at my actions, even AJ who looked like I had grown a second head, when I reached the group of stunned Apple's I turned and gave the two brothers a confident smirk
Flim and Flam were not amused, they quietly walked up to us and spoke with a confident edge
"Well then, that's unfortunate," Flim said
"I guess if we're not gonna be partners," Followed by Flam
"We'll be competitors" Flim finished
"Don't worry every pony!" Flam yelled gaining the attention of the crowd, "There'll soon be cider for all!" Gaining an applause from the crowd, *sigh* like children with a new toy
While the cheers of the crowd rise, Flam leans over and whispers to us, "After we run Sweet Apple Acres, out of business" now it took a lot of self control not to knock the taste out his smooth talkin' mouth but, I gotta keep my composure, remember you don't need to fight Mark, that time is over, same logic could have been applied before but, hey, they had it coming!
The two brothers make their way over to their machine and drive off down the road, soon the crowd dissipates, while giving me stink eyes, whatever, I'm soon approached by the apples
Big Mac walks up to me with a smile
"Thank yah Mark, those were just the words to wake us up, ah don't know what we were thinking' we'd lose the farm if we agreed to those terms, ah guess with all the other ponies wantin' what they were sellin' so bad, we just thought it'd be the right thing to do"
"Don't worry, Mac, I got your back...I didn't mean for that to rhyme" I answer back, he gives me a grateful smile, aww now I feel all warm
Applebloom walks up to me with a smirk and a cocked eyebrow
"Ya'll got a big mouth" I bust up cuz it's true, I shouldn't have butted in but as I said, it needed to be done
"But thanks, those were some really nice words, did yah mean'em?" I bend down and boop her nose
"Every word" she giggles and gives me a hug, more warm and fuzzies!
"Yeah, they were very kind of yah to say" This coming from AJ, she gives me a tip of the hat without meeting my eyes, what the hell is the matter with her?
"Holy shit! She can actually speak! now if only she could look me in the eyes!" I say with a smirk, she cocks her eyebrow and gives my thigh a light tap, that still gave me a charlie horse, good god she's strong!
"Ow! You don't have to hit" she's looking the other way, but I can see she has a smirk on her muzzle, that cheeky bitch, at least I got a reaction
"Yeah AJ be gentle, we need'em" Granny Smith says walking up to me motioning me to kneel down to talk to me face-to-face, "now ah hope ya'll weren't blowin' no hot air, since now we're gonna work hard, your gonna work hard, hope ya'll are ready" I match her serious look and reply
"I won't let you down, this I swear" I say placing a fist over my heart and giving her a nod
"Good, well let's pack it up and get ready for tomorrow" the Apple family go to start taking the barrels and stand back to the farm. I look to my left and see two empty cider barrels, I walk over and as I'm about to bend over to pick them up I hear a whoosh behind me and I turn to greet the enraged eyes of one very parched Rainbow Dash
"WHAT THE BUCK IS THE MATTER WITH YOU!" Ow my ears
Behind her I see the remainder of the group, Pinkie wore a disappointed frown, I've never seen Pinkie frown now I feel like a bit alf an asshole, Rarity had her usual snotty face upturned, well didn't get any points with her, Fluttershy gave me a curious eye, oh cool looks like I did get some points with her, at least she's not hiding from me, Twilight had a look of respect on her face, seems like she came to the same conclusion I did, and Spike gave me the thumbs up, to which I reciprocated
Rainbow noticed this along with the others and saw Spike's approval, and she didn't like that
"Spike! You agree with this?! We could of gotten cider YEAR ROUND! And this guy just screwed it up!" Spike quickly lost his smile and adopted a startled look at Dash's outburst
"Yeah Spike, don't you want cider all the time?!" Pinkie said materializing behind him making him jump clear off Twilights back
"Spike, you can't possibly be even considering that this brutes actions were in the right, were you?" Rarity pleaded getting right up in his face, oh playin' the pity card on him just cuz he likes you, that's low, and I've had enough
"Hey! Lay off him!" I yell gaining the groups attention
"It was my choice to do what I did, I did it because it was the right thing to do, so if you want to lay into me" I look at Rainbow
"Or question me" I look at Pinkie
"Or guilt trip me" I look at Rarity
"Then do it, but don't go gettin' mad at Spike just cuz he agrees with me, now I have work to do so if you don't mind," I say putting the two barrels under my arms, "I've gotta go help my friend" and I walk off, towards the Apple Familys' barn. I remember something and I yell over my shoulder
"Hey Twilight, I need to pick something up later so I'll be by the tree house in a bit ok?"
"Alright see you then!" she answers
A few hours later and I'm beat, sweat pouring off me, especially since this cryo suit don't breath, wheezing, but looking out at the rest of the Apple family I can see they're all in the same condition I am, all i've been doing is carrying basket back and forth from the trees to granny smith who appraises them and then to Big mac who turns them into cider, from what I can see we've made about double what they originally came out with today! Feelin' good!
"Alright youngins' time to pack it in, we need to rest up for tomorrow" granny smith yells rubbing her probably sore eyes
Everyone tiredly makes their way to the house while I start to walk down the path out of Sweet Apple Acres
"Hey where yah goin'?" I turn to see Aj standing there with a brow raised
"Now ya'll weren't thinkin' of walkin' out on us were yah?" she asks suspiciously
"AJ I'm hurt, why would you ever think that way about me? I just need to go to Twilights to pick something up" I state with a big grin
"Mhmm, well ah'll tag along just in case" she finishes with a flick of her tail as she walks ahead of me leading me out, y'know ponies need to seriously consider underwear since I just saw a lot! Seriously, it may have been only for a second but in that second, if I was in amsterdam I would have been charged cash money!
With a slight red tinge to my face I follow, why am I blushing? I don't know it just seems...embarrassing, I don't know why it's embarrassing to see a mare's...place...
Right moving on
Me and AJ make our way through the moonlit streets of Ponyville side by side, quietly enjoying the night air, pretty sure it's about eight, I could be off but oh well, I didn't care
I look over to AJ to see her eyes dart away and her head turn to look down a passing street, what is up with her? She's been acting this way all day, time to get some answers
"Hey AJ" must have startled her since she jumped a bit
"Y-yeah"
"I wanted to ask, what's goin' on with you? Somethin's been botherin' you and I want to know what"
"Nuthin'"
"Gettin' sick and tired of these one word answers AJ, is it about last week?" I can see her visibly stiffen, gotcha
"No" she says quickly
"Look, AJ whatever happened I'm sorry" I say with my head low, her head turns and for the first time in about a week her emerald eyes meet my Azure one's
"I've been under a lot of stress, all last week I couldn't get any sleep due to some...unforeseeable events, and only till last night did I get some good rest, but with it I also got some, shocking news" my head gets even lower, reminding myself of my predicament, I also notice her eyes soften
"I'm sorry for passing out in the barn, and honestly, I have no idea when I grabbed you, I guess i'm a cuddler when I sleep" we both share a small laugh, awesome finally got a real reaction!
"I just hope that it didn't mess with our friendship" I finish giving her a look of sincerity
I can see her head bow, her stetson covering her face as I wait for her reply
"...Well partner, thanks for that but you didn't have to apologize"
"Uh, yes I did, you've been avoiding me like I have the plague"
"Yeah, well, ah'm sorry too, I shouldn't have been avoidin' you like that" Cool, things were patched up!
"Awesome then we're good, and now we can focus all our efforts on crushing those two smart mouths tomorrow!" I shout raising my fists in the air
"Yeah! I can't wait to see the looks on their faces tomorrow! And thanks, for reals this time, without those words of yours, Ah'm sure we would've ended up makin' a big mistake!"
"No problem AJ! No matter when or how, what I say is set in stone! And I mean every word!" We both start laughing heartily
"Well, that might be a bit of an overstatement, cuz what you were sayin' to me while you had me wrapped up in the barn had me-" She immediately blushes red and covers her muzzle, what did she say?
"What did you say?"
"Ah didn't say nuthin'" her eyes are darting everywhere and her face is scrunched, I call bullshit
"No I heard you say something, now what did you-"
"Hey look we're here" She points ahead of her and I turn to see that we had arrived at Golden Oaks, I immediately forget what I was saying cuz Through the windows I can smell pancakes, MARK WANT! I sprint up to the door and knock on the door hard, bouncing on my feet like an excited child
Twilight soon answers the door with a disgruntled look
"You almost knocked my door down"
"Well, pancakes" and thus was my answer as I walk in, she just rolls her eyes at me, giggles and goes to greet AJ
Well priorities first, I run upstairs into Twilights room. Now I know I put them somewhere, I look around Twilights bed and near Spike's basket, seriously she needs to get him a damn bed, he ain't a pet, I look over to my makeshift bed on the floor and I notice a bundle of clothes from Carousel Boutique, a simple white, button up t-shirt and denim pants considering she hates me, and the fact I didn't exactly specify what I wanted she did a damn good job! Now I really got to apologize to her for calling these things shoddy, they looked fine as fuck! I make my way downstairs to find the girls waiting for me
"Ya'll get what yah needed?"
"Yeah I got it just one more thing though"
"Oh, what's that?" Twilight asks
I walk passed her into the kitchen to see Spike putting the last of the pancakes into a stack bigger than he was, then he put a slab of butter on top, drenched it with maple syrup and with some blueberries on top, breakfast for dinner and this mofaku want to put on a presentation like that?
"Yo mah boy!" He jumps at my outburst
"Whoa! geez man you scared me half to death!" He says clutching his chest
"What have we here" I say circling the pancake tower, eyeing it like a predator does prey, he immediately gets defensive pointing a wooden spoon at me, Shit! That's my kryptonite! out of the corner of my eye I can see the two girls watching with amusement but that's not the pressing issue, the issue is that a baby dragon is pointing a deadly weapon at me
"Nuh-uh, very single time I try to make food look good, you always come in here take half of it and destroy my hard work!" He growls
"Pfft, like when?"
"How about the fruit salad? with the orange smiley faces? Huh? You walked in took half and walked out, there wasn't even any words between us you just kept walking"
"Ok, well name another"
"How about that vegetable stew I made? I walk out to ask Twilight if she wanted some, I come back to see you walking out of my kitchen, I check the stew and three quarters of it is gone, how'd you even manage that?"
"...name one more" I say staring into his eyes
"Ok, what about those steamed vegetables and rice? I literally turned around for two seconds and half of it was gone!"
I stood in shock, wow, he was right
"You know what Spike? Your right" His eyes widen, I caught him off guard
"I am?"
"Yes you are and I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you, especially since I flaked yesterday on the cleaning, when I'm done helping the Apple's, I'll come here and I'll do all your chores for the day, ok?" I declare as I place my hand on the top of his head
"Alright, apology accepted, oh you know what? Some blueberry syrup would be great on these" he says as he turns to go get the syrup
"Sounds good, but me and AJ gotta go and get some sleep, see ya Spike" I say as I turn and walk towards the mares
"Well later Twilight , I'll see ya tomorrow" I say quickly, then I turn to Applejack
"Walk with me AJ" I say with urgency
"O-ok, well later Twi, see yah"
"Oh, ok goodbye, don't you wanna stay for dinner though?"
"It's cool I'm on a diet" I yell as I shut the door, Then I look at AJ
"Now run!" I yell as I take off down the street with AJ following close behind
She eventually catches up to me
"Why we runnin'?" she asks, to which I answer by pulling out a stack of pancakes I'd been hiding, her eyes widen
"What the? how'd you? What?"
"Pinkie ain't the only one who's got tricks" I laugh
"You took the whole stack!?"
"No! Just the top three quarters"
"..."
"Hey don't give me that look! Y'know a lot of women would be grateful for a guy who brings them dinner"
She gives me another stern look but eventually she starts to laugh, then I start to laugh, it doubled when we both heard 'DANG IT MARK!!!!' on the wind not five minutes later, we ended up laughing all the way home, and for a good minute, all was right with the world.
I wake up at around four, the fucks up with me and gettin' up early? Anyway I figure since I'm up I might as well get ready. The apples' were still fast asleep they should be getting up in about two hours.
I tip toe my way into the bathroom, brush my teeth and comb out my hair before putting it in a tight braid that reaches down to the middle of my back, I take out Rarities clothes and admire them, they really were a work of art, simplistic and functional, exactly my style.
I slip on the denim pants, they're snug in the waist but other than that they're a perfect fit! Damn Rarity! One and done! I then throw on the white shirt and button it to the second to top button, I step back and admire myself in the mirror, the white button up tucked into my pants with no trace of a wrinkle on either....damn! I'm saying it a lot lately but Rarity does good work! I look fine as fuck!
After admiring my ass in my new pants...don't give me that look! You damn well know you've all done it before! Anyway, after I did that I left the house into the brisk morning air outside, the wind lightly touching my face seemed...different today, like there were words being whispered into my ear. I look up from where I was standing and saw the lone apple tree on the hill I used to sit under when I first started working here
'perfect'
I make my way over too the tree all the while the whisperings were getting louder and clearer, a familiar voice rides on the wind, and I give a faint smile
I take a seat under the tree and relax, I close my eyes to let the wind speak to me. A few minutes pass, I slowly open them and I take in a familiar face: A man with long black hair, reddish olive skin and crimson eyes filled with mirth smiles back down at me, he was wearing a long green and red cape, a green feathered loincloth, a macuahuitl in his right hand and a shield in his left.
"Hello, great spirit Quetzalcoatl, ruler of the skies, master of the winds, and almighty king of-"
"Enough, guardian, you know how I feel about those titles" he laughs a wispy, airy laugh
"Oh thank god! I was running outta breath" we both share a laugh, the spirit of wind, Quetzalcoatl, one of the few spirits that was known to interact with humans, even daily, though most couldn't see him, he was a good friend of mine, one that always had my back
"It is nice to speak to you again guardian, I wanted to ask you something" in an instant the mirth left his eyes, replaced by a somber look, he still wore the warm smile though
"Yeah what'd you wanna talk about?" I lean back on the tree
"You are troubled, I can feel it, you are hurting inside and I also know where this pain comes from" I look up at him, confused
"The choice that was given to you, a choice of life in service or freedom in death, you are making this decision much more difficult than you should" My eyebrow raises at him, I can feel a bit of annoyance rising, easy? EASY!? This was not fucking easy!
"Hmm, you are getting angry, you are very predictable"
"And what does that mean? Oh great and wise spirit!? Please explain yourself cuz I'd really wanna fucking know how this is supposed to be easy!?" ...ok, kinda blew my top screaming in a spirits face like that, oh shit...
But the wrath of a disrespected spirit wasn't what I got, instead his smile grew and the softness returned to his eyes
He holds up a hand "Your anger is not misplaced, and I did not mean to offend, I do understand that this choice is hard, but I stand by what I said, that you are making the choice far more difficult and do you want to know why?" He asks squatting down to look me in the eyes
I nod my head with a frown, I wanna hear this
He places his hand on my shoulder and speaks softly, "Because you desire change, change is chaos, it happens slowly or quickly and, most of the time, it happens violently, it demands painful sacrifices,some that you have given and others...that were taken, and while many of the spirits might not understand or agree with your actions, I understand them well enough to know that what you did, you did in the planets best interest, there was nothing else you could have done, but the spirits like to think of themselves masters of their universe, when in reality, at times we can be just as blind or as arrogant as those of the flesh"
My hard look was gone, replaced by one of awed contemplation, I was astounded, Quetzal was always one of humility but this...this was incredible! He stands and turns to look at the sun that has risen a few more inches into the sky and he smiles
"Well I would love to stay and talk more but I must leave you, before I go I want you to know something"
I look up and nod to him
"While the spirits may forsake you for now, know that the wind will always be listening, just ask, and the wind will come, this I swear" The moment he says this I feel a gale rush passed him and envelope me, lifting me up on the air, the feeling was...incredible my senses heightened I could feel whispers on the wind, like the secret places of the world were open to me, eventually the wind places my feet back on the solid ground yet I still felt lighter like I was perpetually floating on the tips of my feet, I look over to Quetzal with a grateful look on my face, he nods and places a fist over his heart in a salute, to which I stand and return the gesture, I felt honored by his trust. I look to wards him one final time to see his body slowly begin to disappear with the a gentle breeze he looks me in the eyes and speaks one last time
"This is where I leave you, you will not see me till the day you make your decision, but until then think about this..." He smiles one of the warmest smiles had ever seen, like a proud father counseling his son, "Life is one of strife, and sacrifice but eventually change will come and one who is in pain will know peace, but death brings peace immediately while leaving no room for change letting your problems become the problems of others"
"One must choose whether life with chaos or death with regret is better...which will you choose?" and with that he disappears, becoming one with the wind
I stand there in awe and smile, that really took a load off my mind, at least I know that not all the spirits hate me, I sit back down to take in what just happened, however I notice something on the branch above my head, one of the most luminous, luscious and most delicious looking apple I have ever seen, the red of its peel glistening with morning dew, and decided, I'm gonna eat the hell outta that! I go to climb the tree to get to my prize when I realize that I have the power of the wind at my finger tips. I take a step back and call the wind to my fingers, a small gale of air swirls and dances around them, I look back at my target and flick my arm in a wide arc, immediately a blade of condensed air flies from me slicing through the stem of the apple, letting the apple fall into my waiting palm without so much as a leaf following after...heh still got it!
As I stood admiring my prize I heard the faint creaking of the front door I turned my head to see a groggy looking AJ walking out of the house and towards the tree, she seemed to be really lost in thought, so I just relax and let her do her thing.
As she gets closer I can hear her mutter things under her breath
"What is the matter with ya' girl? Get your head straight!" hmm?, "Ya' need to relax, I don't know what was with that dream last night, or why he was in it..." Oh! Interesting..., "but, it was so nice...it felt amazin' even if it was in my head" ok now I gotta know
"So who was it?" I ask on my stomach with my head in my hands about an inch away from her, I also had a huge smile on my face
I can't explain just what happened, but I'll try: Her whole body turned a shade of red that put my apple to shame, her eyes shrunk to pin pricks, She jumped a good foot in the air and her hoof shot out towards my face at a surprising speed and since I wasn't ready for it my vision and senses were soon clouded by the sudden appearance of the almighty pain train to which there was no brakes! The next stop? MY FACE! The hoof connected with my nose and with it, a sickening crunch followed, she broke my goddamned nose!
I fall back and grip my bleeding nose, holy shit! How strong is this chick?!
"Oh mah stars! ah'm so sorry Mark! are ya'll okay?!" She yells rushing to me to look me over, she takes one look at my nose and her hooves cover her mouth...that's not a good sign
"How bad is it?" I ask through tear filled eyes...I'm not crying! It's literally a natural biological response to blunt force trauma to the nasal cavity so no being a dick!
"*gasp* Oh sweet Celestia! A-ah mean uh it's nuthin' to worry about, ya' look fine..." after saying this her face scrunches up and her eyes dart from right to left...my god, I've known some terrible liars but...wow...
By this time the rest of the Apple family headache out of the house, probably due to the yelling
"AJ what in tarnations goin' on out he- Mark what happened your face?!" Granny Smith, just as tactful as always
"It's like somethin' outta a scary story!" Apple bloom...why?
I look over to Big Mac and notice his red coat had turned a shade of green, ok that's enough of that. I quickly cover my nose, stand and start to walk back towards the farm stead.
I look myself over in the bathroom mirror and ... what the, it ain't even that bad?! What was with all the "What happened to your face?!" Schtick
I noticed my nose was bleeding but barely, it was a little off center but nothing too bad...strange, seems like people aren't all that into violence, I guess it's to be expected from a race of herding, herbivorous mammals.
"Ok here comes the fun part..." I place my hand on the bridge of my nose, "One...two..."
"Hey Mark ah just wanted to see if ya'll were all right-"
"THREE! *Crack* OOOOHOOHO! That's brisk!"
"*Thud*" I look behind me and see AJ passed out cold on the ground
I sit on the couch with my hand running through AJ's mane she's been out for a few minutes, I hope I didn't scare her too bad, I have to remember that no matter how tough these equines are they still new to how humans handle things
"...mmm...that feels nice..." Hmmm? Oh she's coming around
Her eyes flicker open and fix on me
"Hey sleepy head" I smile with a little wave
She's just laying there staring at me...this is getting awkward...then she blinks and shakes her head rolling off the couch
"*Ahem* how long was ah out?" She asks with her eyes closed
"Not long, a few minutes"
"Well, let's get going'" She says as she marches out of the house...ok?
We walk side by side the dirt path leading toward the cider stand it's relatively quiet and peaceful
"Hey...Mark?..."
"Yeah AJ?" I answer back
"Ah wanted to apologize-"
"AJ enough...It's cool, I don't blame you, especially since I did startle you, and besides, it wasn't even that bad"
"That bad?! It was awful! I completely broke your nose! There was blood everywhere! It was so crooked it looked like it was upside down! It was awful!" ok didn't need to be descriptive but alright
"Well i'm tougher than I look, a lot tougher" I say with a grin, yay! Alluding!
"Yeah ya'll are, even a stallion as big as my brother would be outta commission for a month in traction if I hit'em with a buck like that!" She gives one of her laughs, then I start to laugh, a real genuine laugh, no sarcasm, nothing forced, just mirth and it feels amazing, I don't know what it is but her laugh just seems to put me at ease...
"Oh, hey ah just noticed, yer wearin' new clothes" Finally someone notices!
"Yeah Rarity made them! Don't they look awesome!?" I say as a gust of wind blows my braid over my shoulder as I flex...amazing...
"Yeah they...sure do..." Aj says with a strange tone
I look towards her, her cheeks are red and her eyes were half lidded...is she sick?
"Hey Apple Jack...Ya'alright?" I wave a hand in front of her face, she blinks and shakes her head
"Huh what? What happened?"
"I'm not sure you just blanked out you feeling alright?" I ask concerned
"Y-yeah ah'm fine" She says, her face takes on an even redder hue, I can even see little beads of sweat forming on her brow
I kneel down and look her in the eyes, she stops abruptly and stares back, her breath hitching
"Look AJ if your not feeling good I can handle the work load, I don't want you to hurt yourself, just let me know if you need anything, I'll be there" I smile, she worries me sometimes she's strong but a little too hard headed, heh this comin' from me...
"A-alright then" she doesn't look any better and her ears have folded back against her head but I'll trust her judgement she knows her body better than I do and besides we got more pressing matters.
We eventually make it to the stand with a line just as long as the one yesterday, off to the side I see the Apple family members preparing for the day.
"Hey Mark! Yah fixed yer face!" Apple bloom yells earning some giggles can be heard from the crowd
"Yeah yeah i'm fine, it wasn't as bad as it looked" I say as I walked over to two buckets of apples and lift them onto my hips
"Well how'd ya fix it?" Big Mac asked
Without looking back I replied, "I snapped it back"
Silence I looked back at the two siblings to see their stunned faces they both look to AJ who just nods in confirmation, that's right I snapped my nose back in place like a goddamn man!
"YEEEEHOOOO! Now that's what I like tah hear! We got us a real work horse here!" Granny Smith yells while slapping a hoof on the back of my legs
I give a little laugh and put on a smile
"Alright everypony! ya'll ready?" AJ says, apparently having recovered from her episode, she puts her hoof on the little closed sign
I look around and everyone smiles and nods
"Yeah let's get started!"
And then the day begins
Wow, I am out of shape, I mean I am drenched in sweat, I'm breathing hard I mean damn! Apparently I proved something to Granny Smith since instead of giving me suspicious looks everytime I walk passed her and limiting me to picking apples, she gives me a small smile and sets me out to work anywhere that needs a extra push so she had me running everywhere, helping Big Mac on the treadmill, carrying apples with Applebloom, selling the cider with AJ and helping her with sorting when her eyes got tired, overall we were able to put out double the amount than yesterday. The clothes really helped though, unlike my orange cryo suit this thing actually breathes and looks damn good too!
However...
"Alright! That's it! Sorry every pony, that's all for today!"
We polish off our stock and there's still ponies in line that didn't get any, damn! there didn't seem to be this many ponies in ponyville to begin with...
"Oh come on!" wow, Rainbow Dash still didn't get any....i really shouldn't be smiling right now
"What's this we hear" How the fuck did they get here so quick!?, I turn and see Flim and Flam leaning back on their machine's built in couch, lazy little fucks
"Out of cider once again? tch tch tch how typical depriving those good people of what their hard working souls deserve" Flam sings
"Yes brother, while we can supply enough cider right here and now to serve three ponyvilles, so let's here it! What do you want?!" Film yells out to the crowd and they answer back deafeningly
"CIDER!"
"Well you heard them brother! Let's give them what they want!" and with the flip of a switch the machine roared to life collecting apples from the Apple family orchards
"Now hold on just a dern second!" Everyones attention turns to Granny Smith who marches right up to the smiling brothers
"Those 'er Apple Family Apples your usin' and we didn't give ya'll no consent to use whats ours" She growled
"Ah but Granny Smith you allowed us to use your apples yesterday-" Flim began to say before I stepped in next to Granny Smith matching her glare with my own
"That was then this is now, and if you two ever want to use those arms again I'd suggest you don't go touching that what ain't yours" My threat gained a lot of surprised looks from the crowd, and a wicked grin from Granny Smith...I like her more and more every second I'm around her
"Oh such violence brother" Flam spoke, oh I'll show you violence
"How barbaric" Flim responds with a smile their starting to bug me
"We see you apples no longer wish to be civil about this so I say we make a wager" I raise an eyebrow
"A race, whoever makes the most cider at the end gets the exclusive rights to sell cider her in Ponyville as well as ownership of Sweet Apple Acres" A gasp of surprise rings across the crowd and unsure looks appear on the younger Apples faces but Granny Smith stayed resolute
"No, we don't need ta' prove ourselves to you, we've done so year after year ever since my family first settled down here and ain't about ta' put my family through sumthin' so ridiculous as a silly race" and with that she turns and starts to walk away, that's right, droppin' the mic now let's get back to-
"What's the matter Granny Smith...Chicken?" ...
"What did ya' just call me sunny?"
"If you have confidence in your cider in then what's the-" He didn't finish his sentence, why? Because I had just snatched Flim and Flam up by their collars, with an intense look in my eyes, my teeth bared I shoved them against the metal of their machine
"HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO HER LIKE THAT!" My voice rings out across the crowd rattling them to their bones, I'm not messing around anymore
"SHE'S WORKED HARDER AND LONGER THAN EITHER OF YOU PUT TOGETHER TIMES TEN!" Their eyes wide with fear at being held up by me, struggling to pry me from them...it's not working
"NOW SHE AND HER FAMILY HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE PEOPLE THEY'VE COME TO SEE AS CLOSE FRIENDS ABANDON THEM WHEN THEY NEED THEIR SUPPORT THE MOST FOR SOME SHINY NEW TOY!?"
I feel a hoof on my leg I look down and see Granny Smith looking up at me with gentle eyes
"That's enough sunny, I can handle it from here" without a second thought I release the two and they fall unceremoniously to the padded couch of their machine
She calmly walks up to the two brothers and glares at them "Tomorrah' mornin' right here, ya' can use our apples cuz its the last time ya'll are ever gonna touch'em"
"*cough* fine, so long as-"
"You keep your pet ape on a leash"
I just growl, they'll pay for that in time
"On one condition" I say holding up a finger"
The two brothers look at me as well as the Apple Family and I can also feel the eyes of the crowd on me as well
"If you win you get the farm and ponyville, if we win, the apples get their way of life back and I..." I grin "get the rights, ownership, and patent of the super speedy cider squeezy 6000 for my own reasons"
The two brothers look at each other and share a nod
"Agreed" Flim growled at me as he and his brother rub their sore throats, how cute
"Oh you sound so confident" I say as Granny Smith and I walk back towards the surprised looking Apple family, we walk past a large Apple tree with a lot of fruit and buckets around the trunk
I look back at them giving them a small glare that makes them stiffen, I snarl as smash my fist into the tree causing all but one of the apples to fall into the buckets, I hold out my hand as the last apple falls and I catch it "It'll make it all the more delicious when I break you" I growl as I take a bite and pick up the buckets, I give the brothers one last discreet look, their faces were ones of worry...heheh damn I'm good
I make my way over to the Apples' as Granny Smith tells the town to clear out
"Uh ya'll wanna explain what that was all about?" said Applejack
I put the Apples with the rest of the cider supplies
"...Sorry, but it needed to be said" Though now that I think about it that was a bit violent...FUCK I DID IT AGAIN!
'Normally I'd agree but...they are insufferable assholes'...wow...even my inner voice agrees with me...
suddenly I feel two big red hooves wrap around me pulling me into a playful headlock I look up to see Big Mac with a big smile on his face and Apple Bloom hopping around my feet
"That was awesome! You lifted them varmints up over your head like they were nuthin'! could you have thrown them?! I bet you coulda' thrown'em!" I could...why didn't I?...
While I stand there a little bewildered at their reaction to my outburst I feel another hoof on my leg, I look down and see Granny Smith smiling at me...now I feel the warm and fuzzies
"Ya'll did good today sunny, ya worked hard and showed your worth but above that you stood up for us and I can tell...ya'll are quite the scrapper ain't ya?!" The apples laugh
"Yeah, well come on they totally asked for it" I look around and see the crowd dissipating but a certain group of ponies and dragon walk towards us as we start to pack everything up. The First to reach me was Twilight Sparkle who gave me a small smile and was about to greet me before ...
"MARK! PREPARE TO MEET DRACONIC JUSTICE!!!!!" Spike leaped from his place on Twilight's back brandishing a wooden spoon...no...
He grips my collar and starts to strike me on the head with the weapon of mass destruction, honestly it didn't really hurt at all but just the action brought back very painful memories and I acted accordingly
"OH GOD HELP ME! GET'EM OFF ME! GET'EM OFF ME!" I jump and struggle but the little dragon has a death grip on my collar and wont let go
"NEVER! FEEL THE WRATH OF A CHEF SPURNED, HEATHEN!" out of my panicked haze I can see the laughing faces of my friends but there's no time for that cant they see that I'm in mortal peril?! Out of the corner of my eye I see the spoon coming and I act
"REVERSAL!" I yell knocking the spoon out of his hand, it twirls up in the air and I catch it....oh the power.... I gaze at Spike with a crazed look, his whole demeanor changes, confidence was replaced with fear as I stand over him with my new weapon
"REVENGE!" I yell and snatch up the young dragon and proceed to gently strike him on the top of his scaly head
"OK ok ok I give I give!" Spike says and pretending to faint, I lift his limp body over my head and scream to the heavens
"VICTORY! Victory for Mark! The greatest warrior to ever exist or ever will!" with a breeze rolling in and the setting sun made my hair blow and my silhouette, it was just...amazing...
"Well 'great warrior' you mind putting him down?" I look down and see Twilight who's wearing a smile and wiping a tear from her eye, I look over to the rest of my friends who were all hiding giggles except for Rainbow Dash who was still rolling on the floor how dare they laugh at my pain! But I set Spike down and he climbs back up onto Twilights back, she rolls her eyes and walks over to AJ and talks to her along with the others and I just start to pack up and get ready
"Hey" I look up to see Rainbow
"Wassup?"
"Look, that was really cool what you did, standing up for Granny Smith" I was surprised, I thought Rainbow would still be kinda mad about the other day
"And about what you said, about how 'us not being there for the apple's when they need us'...well you were...rrriiiuugh....." she mumbled the last part but I know what she was trying to say, so I just smile
"Rainbow it's cool, you don't have to say anything" she looks up at me with a raised eyebrow
"But-"
"No but's, look I gotta get ready for tomorrow, so I gotta leave now, but personally I believe actions speak louder than words, so you know what you should do if you wanna make it up to them, cuz it wasn't me you guys wronged" and with that I walk away
Me and the Apple's start to haul all the equipment back to the barn and all of us were discussing on how to go about the race, we reach the barn and deposit all the equipment, we start to walk back towards the house to get a good nights rest on the way there I kept noticing AJ stealing glances at me, hmm maybe the broken nose was still showing. She starts to walk closer to me, none of the other family members notice so I assume she wants to tell me something important
"Yeah AJ wassup?"
"Hey, ah uh, ah just wanted to let you know that I really appreciate you standin' up fer granny today, not alotta pony's around here would do that"
"Well then it's a good thing I'm a human...gotta a bit more backbone" a say with a grin and she laughs
"Yeah ah can say we're mighty glad to have ya here...especially me..." she mumbled the last part of her sentence and I wasn't able to hear it
"What was that last part AJ?"
Her head snaps up to look at me, as if I heard something I wasn't supposed to her emerald eyes meeting mine and her eyes grow wide and soft, the air around us gets a bit heavier, strange, she wants to tell me something very important I can tell
"W-Well... a-ah just wanted tah'-"
"Oh hold on AJ" I notice that we've made it to the barn and everyone else had already left the equipment inside and started to make their way towards the house so I remove the stuff I had carried with me and set them down and I wanted to give her my full attention so I kneel down and so as to look her in the eyes. When I do so though she takes a few steps back, startled at my movements, why though?
"So what did you want to tell me?"
She just stare at me, with a troubled look on her face, what's the matter with her? her face suddenly changes from troubled to frustrated
"Look, ah'm not good with this kinda thing, ah'm a dern cowpony born and raised on the farm, told to be strong and not tah let nopony get to me..."
Then her head turns to me with a scrunched up look
"Then ya'll come along and make mah whole go upside down and it's right tickin' me off" with that she stomps her hoof down and I fall back on my ass...she genuinely startled me right now, I've only had one woman in my life get that reaction outta me besides my grandmother and that was...wait...
Her eyes meet mine and the whole world seems to fade away
"Look Mark..."
"Y-yeah AJ..." The world goes quiet
"..." She turns her eyes from me and gains a red hue on her cheeks...now I ain't the sharpest hammer in the breadbox but I am about seventy to seventy-five percent sure of what she's gonna say...and I don't like it...
Her face turns back and me and it wears an ironclad look of resolve
"AH GOTTA TELL YAH, THAT AH THINK YOU'RE!-"
"HEY WHAT'RE YA'LL YELLIN' ABOUT?!" Suddenly a wild Applebloom appears!
I look at Applebloom then back at AJ whose face is that of complete and total devastation and relief, but now I want to know
"Hold on Applebloom I want to know what AJ was going to say" immediately all the color from AJ's face drains of color
"All right ah just came to tell you that granny said that if ya'll don't come to dinner soon ya'll are gonna go to bed hungry cuz Big Mac is gonna eat it all"
Immediately I forget all about the previous moment and turn to the crisis at hand, me getting no food? BLASPHEMY!
I stand and take a deep breath
"BIG MAC! SO HELP ME GOD! IF I GET UP THERE AND MY FOOD IS GONE IMMA CUT MY DINNER OUTTA YOUR HIDE!"
silence then I see the door to the farmstead burst open and I watch as that big red son of a bitch trips, falls on his face and take off into the orchard
"OH HELL NO!" I take off after him leaving the two sisters at the barn
"DON'T YOU RUN! COME'ER AND TAKE THIS WHOOPIN' BOY!" I yell after him.
The day was long and eventful, and I once again cause more trouble then I was supposed to but I'm sure it'll turn out well, and something else happened...something important...it had to do with AJ...what am I doing?! I gotta focus, my vengeance needs slating...
The time has finally come... to whip some glorious ass and bathe in glory for a thousand moons....
Ok so maybe that's a little much for a simple race but hey! I'm trying to get some energy here!
I look out over a sea of technicolor ponies watching the apple's warm up and me sitting in the middle of some trees cross legged with my eyes closed...or I assume cuz y'know, my eyes are closed
I am currently trying to connect myself to the land, to feel the roots of the trees beneath me to hear their opinion and where their allegiance lies...it was the with the apple's no contest, the race would be decided by whoever made the most cider within thirty minutes with no outside help and while the Apple's did have built up stamina for days they are used to long, steady marathons not quick, explosive and, not to mention, quality work they could gas out pretty quick but I'm not worried they can handle it no matter what happens they will win this day
I smile as I hear our competition start to roll up, so I give a small smile and pray that the spirits watch this contest and give us the strength we need to win...as well as to sit back and enjoy the show...
I open my eyes to see the Apple's turn to greet the Flim Flam brothers...I cannot take them seriously with that name
The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy stops in front of the designated area and the brothers stare us down...from their couch....I don't like them
I look over to the apple's to probably say some words of encouragement but I see Twilight andSpike speaking to them...maybe AJ needs to speak with her more, and besides when I get competitive I don't like to talk to anyone anyways
"Attention everypony! Attention!" I look over at our audience and see Mayor mare and Time Turner walk out, and Twilight starts to rejoin the crowd but Spike hops off her back and makes his way over to me
"Sup man! Just wanted to see if you're ready for this?"
I just look off and feel a breeze pass under me chin, "Spike, do you feel that wind?"
He gives me a look, and instead of answering, he surprises me by closing his eyes and tries to feel it...strange...
With his eyes closed, he surprises me again by answering "Yeah, it feels like it's...excited?..." he opens his eyes and looks up into my startled face
"What? Was I wrong?" he asks shyly
"No...not at all..." This...raises some questions...
"Is everypony ready!?"
"Hey monkey boy! Ya'll ready?!" came the voice of Granny Smith taking me from my stunned silence, I shake my head and yell ready
I hear as the Flim Flam brothers yell ready and all eyes turn to time turner as he turns the large hourglass too begin
"GO!"
And so it began
Without thinking I rush forward and hurl my weight against the largest tree on our designated side shaking loose all of the delicious treasures its mighty branches held
The red fruit all fell into the six buckets at the base of the tree and without missing a beat I scoop up the buckets, rush over to Granny Smith, drop them off for inspection and head back out into the orchard to start all over again. I quickly look over my shoulder to see where my team is compared to our competition...they're...just staring at me... the fuck are they doing? I look out at the competition and the crowd and they all wore the same expression. I realized something...maybe I moved a liiiiiittle too fast....great......
"What're you guys waiting for? Half Life 3?! Get moving!" Yeah I pulled out the cheap Half Life 3 joke so what? I have a right to! When I went into Cryo it was still 'in production'
My outburst, while confusing to the adorably ignorant ponies woke them up from their stupor and they start moving quick. I look at the Flim Flam brothers to see they begin loading apples into their machine, now the race is on.
About twenty minutes into the race I can see the Apple's were on their last legs, they had been going full steam since the beginning and I can tell their hurting now all the while the Flim Flam brothers and their machine....well their machine, showed no signs of slowing down.
I can see the worry in the Apple family's eyes....no, i'm not gonna let this happen
"Don't give up!" I hear from the crowd, I look and I see Spike dashing from the audience, all eyes were on him
"We know you can win! You're the Apple family! The most hard working farm ponies in Equestria!" He yells with a fist thrusted in the air and a glint in his eye...this guy...
I look back at the Apple family and see their faces free of doubt strengthened by the words of this little dragon...he just gets more and more interesting
You know what? Time to get serious, I take off towards the southern orchard like a bullet, behind me I can hear the Flim Flam brothers mocking me
"Oh what's wrong? Where are you going little monkey? Did we scare you off?"
"Finally realized our technological superiority? Don't want to have to look into the eyes of the family you failed?" Oh I could feel the smug smiles on their faces...and it's going to be that much more delicious when I wipe those looks right off their faces.
I make it into a part of the orchard where no one could see me, I look around and see the trees all had buckets around their trunks as I knew they would which was why I came to the southern orchard, I had set this up last night in case I needed a trump card, looks like I needed after all. I sat down and focused my spirit, this took around five minutes as I needed to calm down and find the essence of the spirits that were around me, soon however I found it and I called out
"Great Quetzalcoatl grant me your winds, I need them for a trivial, meaningless task that you will enjoy..." the trees around me rustle with the winds as they rush to my outstretched hand, I close my eyes and imagine the gentle breeze accelerate and sharpen into a fine edge in my hand, it gives off a faint glow and a high pitch whistling sound, almost like music, I grin as I bring my hand to my face
"Thank you spirit....now let the show begin..." with a quick practiced move of my arm willing the wind to cut only the ripe apples from all the trees two hundred feet in front of me filling all the buckets and not leaving a single scratch on the trees themselves...I got skillzz yo....
I hear a whistle behind and realize it was the two minute warning...Shit! I gotta go! I command the wind to force the buckets to me around,about ten buckets full of apples land in front of me, I loop my arms through the rope handles of each one and heft them onto my back
"Oof! Oh god...oooooh I'm out of shape..." I say as I sprint with the surprisingly heavy buckets on my back towards victory
3rd-person POV
The situation between the Apple's and the Flim Flam brothers had turned to the brothers favor soon as the the Apple's Simian friend had left them, without him supplementing each one of their jobs the full weight of their burdens was on them, they were slowing down and the brothers, seeing the opportunity after the only threat that they saw apparently abandon them switched their machine to full speed, steam erupting from their machine as it started pumping out barrel after barrel of cider quickly closing the distance, however in doing so it started taking in twigs, rotten apples, leaves and all manner of debris and refuse that degraded each barrel more and more the longer it ran at this speed.
The mane six stood by and watched helpless as they saw the brothers barrels number overtake the Apple's, almost everyone in the crowd shared their looks of worry, they finally realized just how hard the Apple's work especially since it was just for them, the words of the strange naked monkey yesterday now seemed like more of a gut punch now to each one of them than unwanted preaching. However not all shared the worry, Spike stood tall in front of the crowd undaunted with a smile on his snout, giving cheers of encouragement to the Apple's, this look of confidence was shared by each one of the Apple's as well not one giving an inch and even, in the case of Applebloom, pushing even harder at the young drakes cheers.
The brothers leaned back with smug smiles on their faces as they looked out at the Apple's. They decided it would be fun to have a little fun with their competition
"Aww what's the matter Apple's? Having trouble now that your pet monkey isn't here to help you?" Flam sneered from the top of their machine
The Apple's ignored them
"Yes brother, apparently his words were nothing but hot air" Flim replied
Again they were ignored
"I mean seriously, did he honestly think they would win? Technology trumps all!"
...
"What a fool! He should have kept his barbaric nose out of our business and this wouldn't be happening"
"And now he's abandoned them, looks like he couldn't face the people he failed!" with that the two brothers laughed
"Shut up..." and they did, they turned and looked at the element of honesty as did the crowd
"Ya'll don't know a dern thing about 'im!" she yelled back at them, her emerald eyes burning with an extreme intensity, surprised looks graced the all within earshot at her words, they were so busy they couldn't hear the two minute warning
"He's a hard worker" she states taking a step toward the brothers
"He's funny" another step
"He's really nice" and another
"He believed in us when no one else did! And ah promise you both right here and now..." now she was looking right up into their eyes from the ground and yet they felt like the smallest ponies there, "He. Did. Not. Abandon. Us!" And at that moment the leaves of the trees leading to the southern orchard erupted as everyone turned and saw Mark carrying ten buckets filled to the brim with apples so plump and delicious they looked as though you could stick a straw into it and you could drink it straight from the fruit.
"Ahem" the brothers, who had been staring at the monkey in both shock and worry, looked back at AJ who wore a smug expression
"Told ya" and with that she sprinted back to her family
Mark's-POV
I sprint as fast as I can across the field looking like a blur to most, I rush past Aj and Granny Smith since I know for a fact that each one of these apples were grade A, in quick succession I empty each bucket into the grinder that Big mac was operating on and hopped onto the treadmill lightly pushing the exhausted stallion off, as soon as he was out of the way I pushed with all my might causing some smoke to come off the machine, all the while AJ had ran up behind me quickly replacing barrel after barrel as soon as they were full, soon all the barrels were filled and stacked into a pyramid and not long after, the final bell rang. I leaped off the treadmill and sprinted back towards the brothers, with a hop I landed on the machines railing, standing tall with my head held high, a smug grin on my face and my arms crossed, they gaped up at me as did the crowd and some of the Apple family
all was quite as the wind blew carrying leaves in a flourish behind me
"You may want to buy a blender" I say with smile
"..."
"..."
"...Wha-"
"So you can drink it all in"
If I had sunglasses on at the time I would have lifted them off my face to reveal an even nicer pair of sunglasses underneath. Cheering erupted behind me at my performance. While I reveled in the moment I felt a tsunami of fatigue slam into me, I wobbled where I stood, my eyesight growing blurry, that was when I felt a sharp pain in my right hand, I looked down and saw a circular gash running the width of my hand, right where the wind had been, why hadn't I felt it before, as soon as I saw this was when blackness began to frame the edges of my vision, soon I collapse and let unconsciousness take me.
3rd-person POV, somewhere in the wastes
The hive of Queen Chrysalis, the last of the vast legions of the ancient changelings, loudly buzzed, agitated by some unknown force, for the past few days an intense feeling of unease and hostility permeating the hive like a disease
Chrysalis herself has been anxious, feeling as though a noose was slowly tightening itself around her throat, she sits in her throne room contemplating the new feelings of helplessness, as though she wasn't in control, like all that she was wasn't hers alone to command anymore
"Why am I feeling like this? Something isn't right, everything feels...wrong...."
Suddenly the western wall of the hive exploded rain chunks of chitin reinforced hive wall plummeting to the ground causing chambers to collapse crushing any unlucky changelings caught beneath the rubble, in a blink of an eye Chrysalis was surrounded by an army of her hive, workers, warriors elite royal guards all surrounding their ruler with fanatical zeal
Chrysalis soon overcomes her surprise and her face shows indignant rage
"WHO DARES TO ATTACK QUEEN CHRYSALIS! RULER OF THE CHANGELINGS!?"
silence, an eerie silence permeated the throne room, the dust kicked up from the explosion, them came the laughter, a garbled meaty putrid sounding laughter filled the throne room and filled the rooms emotion feeding occupants with not the soft, sweet taste of mirth, but the black ashen taste of evil itself. Suddenly a deep, terrible voice rings out from the obscuring dust
"Have you forgotten so easily?" two sickly green eyes faintly glow from the dust. A split second later two shadows burst from the cloud and colliding into two elite changeling guards, all the eyes of the changelings including their queen turned to see the mutilated corpses of two elite guards, their eyes gazed in terror at their twisted broken bodies, joints bent at disturbing angles, compound fractures across major limbs, spinal vertebrae broken and skulls caved in from some massive force
"Have you forgotten your purpose?"
Queen Chrysalis, through great effort, yelled out at the invader
"Forgotten what?! WHO ARE YOU!?"
"Such arrogance, you have forgotten"
Immediately the shades shot from the shadows of the throne room snatching up Queen Chrysalis dragging her towards the dust cloud, she screams in surprise and looks back at her subjects for help attempting to mentally command them to help her, yet she was met with a terrifying sight, the eyes of her subjects were glowing the same pale green as their attacker. In fact as she was being taken closer and closer to the cloud she began to hear the mysterious attackers voice
'For you see, what you, and all of your misbegotten race have forgotten'
A fat, green, foul smelling, maggot encrusted forearm reached out from the dust wrapping it's decomposed digits around the queens throat, as she struggles her eyes are forced open by an unseen force, she was compelled to meet this beings eyes, to give in to his words and with that feeling, her body stopped struggling
"IS THE FACE OF YOUR GOD!!!!" a badly decomposed face of a minotaur erupted from the dust clearing it away from the throne room in an instant, planting fear in the heart of the changeling queen for more than one reason. Not wasn't his appearance or her current situation terrify her the most, it was his words the filled her body with fear...the Dark Shaper had returned.
A long disgusting smile grew along the living corpses maw
"Heh heh heh heh, so you do remember, as you should" dropping the queen to the floor, "You know now who I am, and yet you resist me...how admirable, but it is all in vain little bug' anger flashes through her, she was not a bug and she was not going to let some relic of a long dead era call her such
Chrysalis exploded from where she lay charging any magic she had available to her but due to her peoples current situation of a lack of food she was weak...and He was far from weak
He caught her by her horn blocking all magic from leaving her body, he snarls and slams her into the ground, her breath leaving her as her face froze in agony, she was sure she had broken three or four ribs from that alone and he only used one hand, he hefted her up to look at him
"You DARE to attempt to strike a GOD?! Let alone your CREATOR?!" Queen Chrysalis looks up through her hair to meet the eyes of the monster but quickly looked away so as not to fall under his control again and fought with all the will she had to not give into his mental commands
"So the slave challenges the master, but don't you see?" he gestures across the throne room "Your armies are MINE! Your body is BROKEN! You came from me, and I will decide when to take you BACK!...but I am not without compassion.... take her away, I will come for her in time she will be made to obey one way...or another... " The monster looks out at his newly acquired army, rush forward to take the ex-queen away, his smile found it's way to his deformed maw once again as he watched her kick and scream, demanding to be released and for him to release her people, he spoke to himself when she was out of sight
"Let this day be known as the day that darkness has reawakened, and reconquest of this miserable rock can begin" He throws his head back giving out a deep bellowing laugh that's seemed too chill the very blood of anything that heard it's sickly sound on the wind
Mark's-POV
My eyes snap open, what the hell was that? It was a small pulse, but it was unmistakable, something woke up...
wait where was I? I look around to see that I had been moved under a tree, I look out to see a line at the Apple's stand and the Super Speedy Cider Squeeze parked by the wayside with the brothers no where to be seen, I start to sit up from where I was lying , I had a headache, my hand stung to high holy hell and my body felt like it had fifty pounds of extra weight on it, yep I remember the feeling, physical and mental overload from using magic to augment myself, should've taken it easy, but then again, what in life is worth doing that's easy?
"Hey he's awake!" I jump at the voice, suddenly I feel three weights slam into my side, I look to see who it was to find the CMC hugging my chest, this is a great way to wake up
"Hey what's going on?" I ask laughing lightly
"Ya'll was so cool!" Applebloom said
"You were all zoom, smash all over the place" Sweetie Belle piped up
"And tied it all together with a nice one-liner, classy" this came from the ever smart aleck Scootaloo
"Eh, I was alright" I say with an embarrassed smile, no matter how many times people compliment me I still get easily flustered.
"Alright? You were straight up amazing!" a new voice chimes in, I look to see who it was to see Spike running over to me with a hand raised for a high five to which I reciprocated, I look passed him to see the rest of the mane 6 and Big Mac standing there with smiles on their faces, well except for Rarity but, she wasn't scowling so that's good
"So?...Did we win?" I ask with a smile
AJ walked up to me with a big smile on her face while offering me a hoof up
"What do you think sugar cube?" she asked with a raised eyebrow
I laugh as I grab her hoof to let her pull me up
"So what happened to the brothers?" I asked curiously
"Well, after the barrel counting putting us ahead by one" she said with a smile and a wink in my direction, why did my heart skip?
"Those two varmints tried to convince the other ponies that this was a fluke, that you wouldn't always be there to help, and that their contraption would always be there, and i'm kinda sore to say that they were right and that some of the ponies in the crowd started to get unsure looks...the brothers started handing out free samples of their cider, but..." she gave me a devious smirk, oh i'm loving this!
"Because they switched their machine on to maximum speed it made mistakes, dirt, twigs, rotten apples, bugs! They were all put into their cider, all it took was one drink and ponies were ready to lynch'em out of town, they tried to take their machine with them but we stopped those varmints before they could, you earned that machine, what ever you planned to do with it is up to you" She says with a smile
I look out over at the crowd and my new quarry, I smile as I felt a sense of pride long forgotten, the joy of knowing I gave my all for someone, and even better they appreciate it
"Come on, let's go enjoy ourselves!" I yell with a fist punching the air, and this was joined by the voices of my friends, and the rest of the day was filled with the sounds of celebration
(Bonus)
The Golden Oaks library usually as quiet as quiet can be as is the case with any self respecting library, however tonight the sounds of laughter and games filled the night air around it. The celebration that started at Sweet Apple Acres after the defeat of the Flim Flam brothers somehow continued well into the night and carried over to Twilights after she suggested a celebratory sleepover, I just rolled my eyes at the suggestion and went back to basking in the sun, however I noticed seven pairs of expectant eyes waiting for my response, I mean how could I say no?
So that's where I was chilling on the floor sitting next to mah boy Spike as I had made it very clear that if I was going to be in a sleep over with six girls I wanted to have back up
The sleepover started off with some music and drinks, some soft some hard, tel you guys one thing AJ could put them away, I don't drink myself but it sure is fun to see others get completely plastered, or at the very least pretty buzzed
And this is where I fine myself now, since Pinkie Pie had suggested a game of truth or dare and of course I thought this would be worth some laughs so obviously I joined in
"Alright every pony let's get started!" Yelled Pinkie as she spun the bottle, and...what luck! It landed on me lovely.
"So Markie, Truth or Dare?" As she said this all the eyes in the room watched me attentively, and me I just gave my signature grin and half lidded eyes
"Hit me with that dare" I say with confidence
"Ok, I dare you....to stand on your hand for ten minutes" Pinkie says with a smile
so an easy one to start huh? Alright, I stand from where I was sitting stretch a little hands above my head and!... I kneel down and place my feet on top of my hands, my grin was wide across my face, I'm such a little shit
Varying different faces were worn by the ponies and my friend Spike, most were questioning but Spike just had a grin the same as mine
"Hey, I'm standin' on my hands" This caused a wave of laughter
The game continued on through the night with the truths and the dares becoming more and more insane the more drinks were downed
Eventually things started to wind down, the drinks and food was put away and the sleeping bags were pulled out, I was helping Spike putting stuff away while the girls continued to enjoy the party
I was currently carrying a stack of food while eating and looked down at Spike whose face was a bit sullen I wonder what's wrong with him?
"Hey Spike, what's wrong?" I ask and he glances up at me with a startled look as he tries to hide it, too late buddy
"N-nothing! Nothings wrong"
"Spike?" I ask again with a raised eyebrow
"*sigh* It's just....I sometimes feel...."
"...yeah?..."
"I sometimes feel, unimportant, like I'm just a butler to them you know? I mean don't get me wrong! I am incredibly grateful to Twilight and everyone else for all that they've done for me but, I mean if you hadn't say anything I would be up in my...basket...trying to will myself asleep, I just feel like I'm just-" I stopped him by kneeling down and wrapping my arms around his tiny body, I had been sensing this for a while now, a small cloud over his head
"Spike...your far more than some dragon butler, I can tell, you're meant to do something in this world" His emerald gaze up into mine with a flicker of hope in them, like a spark, and by god I was gonna see it turn into a wildfire
"Do you mean that?"
"Of course, you remind me a lot of...myself..." now that's a curious thought
"What do you mean?" I pull myself from my thought, probably best not to make assumptions
"Not sure myself, but you're not just someone to forget, I look at you and I see a protector,someone who, while he may trip and fall, he will get back up and fight for what he believes in, like a... a-"
"Like a guardian?" my eyes widen...
"Mark?"
"Maybe Spike" I say with a warm smile, "just maybe"
I place my hand on the top of his head and he gave me a grateful smile
"Now come on, let's see what the girls are up to in our absence"
We walk in to here Rainbow Dash trying to give ...poetry? What?
Twilight turns to me with a funny look on her face, looks like she was a bit buzzed, I look out to see the rest of the ponies had this same look on their faces, even Rarity was giving me a funny lop sided smile to which I reciprocated
"Maaaark! Great you're here! Your up now, everyone else already went!"
"What are you talking about Twilight"
"We decided to have a great big poetry contest to see who could say the best poem and right now Twilights in the lead with her william shakes pony piece" said Pinkie with a lot of enthusiasm, I look over at Twilight as she gives me a smug grin
I look at Spike, he just shrugs his shoulders at me
"Well" I start, " I don't think Dash would forgive me if i get beaten by Twilight of all ponies" a say earning myself a glare from said unicorn and a laugh from everyone else
I walk in front of my audience while I go through my mind to decide what poem I should recite, then I took one look at Spike and knew exactly what I should recite, one of my favorites
"Alright ladies and amazing young dragons I will retire you a poem from my culture-"
"So it goes a little something like, "I'm a big dumb brute I like to fling my own-" I cut Rarity off before she could finish that sentence
"Not even close Snowflake" Rarity's snout scrunched up at my nickname for her
"Snowflake? What's that supposed to me-"
"Anyway, let's get this underway, I wanna get to sleep, and Spike!" Spike downward looking eyes sped up to look at me in surprise, "don't just listen to this, let it in, let it speak to you, I think you'll enjoy it"
I clear my throat as I dress the crowd
"This poem has influenced me throughout my life, it has helped shape my ideals, my decisions and my outlook, it was written a long time ago by a Mr.William Ernest Henley, I believe this poem personifies what it means to be truly human, to stand in the face of overwhelming adversity and to never give in, to be thankful for the soul you've be given and to always know you are the decider of your own fate, the poems name is 'invictus'"
I look out and see all eyes that were once droopy either by drink or by sleep was now wide awake at my words, good, I think they all need to hear this
"Out of the night that covers me, Black as the pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be for my unconquorable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeoning of chance my head is bloody but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears looms but the horror of the shade, and yet the menace of the years finds, and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate, how charged the punishments the scroll. I am the master of my fate I am the captain of my soul."
As I finish the poem I look out to see gobsmacked faces, I just smile and walk off. I grab the still starstruck Spike off the floor and put him under my arm, as I walk up the stairs to crash in Twilights room where my sleeping bag was I turn, and with a smirk on my face I say
