• Published 12th May 2014
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King Of Queens - ChroniclerOfFantasies



Herds. In a world inhabited by magical ponies, that's really not too surprising of a thing... unless that herd consists of four living, breathing goddesses and yourself.

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Sombra's Revenge... Sort Of

“Now what have we learned?” Willow asked in a painfully condescending tone.

“Do not buck with the hospital staff.” Cadence and I said at the same time, only to have the other nurse that came in with Willow slap us across the head. Apparently her name was Morning Star. I’ll give you three guesses what her cutie mark was.

“We don’t use that kind of language in the infirmary!” Willow shouted. Now hold on a second!

“You were joking about me paying money to stare at your flank earlier!” Ha! What do you have to say to THAT?

“Technically I was already past the doorway when I said that, so I wasn’t INSIDE the infirmary. And that was no joke. I can always use the extra bits.” She said with a sly smile and a wink. Oh this mare was good. Too good for my tastes. I wasn’t sure how I knew, but I got the feeling I wasn’t often bested in arguments and apparently I don’t take well to that. I mean I’m not about to go on a rampage just because I lost a contest of wits, but I’m certainly no good sport about it.

Cadence sat right next to me fuming and staring off into the distance with a big pouty face. The second our argument escalated to the point of possible violence those two mares descended on us with a wrath that would give even Celestia some pause. It was then that I learned that in the Crystal Empire, in order to be a medic in the military you had to be the best of the best in almost every field of combat training. They apparently had a belief that the medic is the most crucial and important thing on the field of battle and that it only makes sense to make sure that your highest valued operatives are capable of defending themselves with ease.

Needless to say our fight didn’t last long.

“Now I’m going to ask again, what have we learned?”

“The hospital is a place of healing, not a place of violence, so we should never ever ever fight in the hospital.” I said. I didn’t like this one bit. The whole time I was talking I sounded like a child. It was humiliating. Cadence didn’t fair much better.

“You too Cadence.” Willow said with a calm and gentle smile that pierced your very soul.

“I’m a princess, I shouldn’t have to put up with this! And he called me fat…” Cadence whined. Yeah, that’s another thing about the royal infirmary. The royal infirmary of the Crystal Empire is completely separate from the rest of Equestria and that’s a rule apparently bound in ANCIENT law, so there’s no contesting it and there’s no changing it. Willow and Morning Star are apparently the head nurses, meaning that in this room, their word is law. You walk through those doors and not even the princesses will have the power to touch you without their say. I mean they literally won’t be able to.

There’s a manuscript somewhere out there that binds the princesses and their kingdoms with incredible magical power. It was written by the unicorns when Celestia and Luna claimed sovereignty over Equestria. It acts as a kind of magical Bill of Rights, making sure that the two of them don’t abuse their power. However it only ever stated that it affected the rulers of Equestria, so technically it extends to every pony with royal blood. It can’t be disobeyed. If they tried to defy it… well you remember prince Dawnstar, Bluebloods brother, right?

What? You don’t? Well there you go. I’ve made my point.

“Then maybe next time you’ll learn not to jump to conclusions about a pony like that. And besides, I’ve been telling you for days that you needed to cut back on the sweets! Don’t get mad at him because he made a good call while insulting you! Perhaps this will keep you from calling up that friend of yours in ponyville and ordering her goods in bulk!” Wait, Cadence actually ate a lot of candy? Suddenly being talked down to like a child wasn’t so bad. I’d burned Cadence pretty good, and that was enough for me.

“Now I’m not going to ask again princess. What. Have. We. Learned?”

“The hospital is a place of healing, not a place of violence, so we should never ever ever fight in the hospital.”

“What was that?” Willow asked cupping her ear with her hoof.

“The hospital is a place of healing, not a place of violence, so we should never ever ever fight in the hospital.”

"One more time?"

“Ugh, the hospital is a place of healing, not a place of violence, so we should never ever ever fight in the hospital! There, happy?”

“Much better.” Willow replied with a sagely nod. “Now I believe you owe Rade here an apology.”

Under other circumstances I’d say that if looks could kill, Cadence would have murdered Willow five times over by now. Unfortunately I’m pretty sure that Willow would just shrug it all of like it was nothing. Turning to me she gave me a huffy deadpan stare. “I’m sorry for accusing you of hitting on me. I should have realized you were only trying to make me feel better.”

Another soul devouring gentle smile from Willow told me it was my turn now. “And I’m sorry for throwing all of those insults at you. It was childish and unnecessary.” I will not however apologize for owning your flank three different ways to Sunday.

“Very good. Now Rade if you’ll just sign here the two of you can be on your way.” It took me several minutes but I eventually managed to sign the paper with the pen. The longer I went without my horn, the more I came to resent what happened. I seemed pretty calm about it earlier, but I’m starting to think that’s just because the full implications of what happened hadn’t hit me yet.

Cadence and I stood there with grumpy faces as Willow and Morning Star closed the doors behind us with a resounding thud. We continued staring at the wall in silence for several seconds. “I really hate that mare sometimes.” she said.

“I can see why.”

“She thinks she’s so tough.”

“She did kind of hand our flanks to us on a silver platter.”

“We couldn’t use magic.”

“I know why I couldn’t use magic, but why not you?”

“Ancient laws were stopping me.”

“Ah. Aren’t Crystal ponies highly resistant to magic anyways?”

“So long as the Crystal Heart is in its proper place yes. What’s your point?”

“Somehow I just get this feeling that having our magic wouldn’t have changed that situation much.” She remained silent for a bit after that.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Still sometimes I just want to… to…” She raised her hoofs in the air and shook them back and forth with an angry look on her face.

“To choke a whorse?”

She snickered. “Well I wouldn’t say that...”

“She said she’d take money to let me stare at her flank. Twice.”

“Okay, I’d TOTALLY say that.” We both started giggling.

Once the laughter died down we were once again placed in an awkward silence. I tried to decide what I should do. Other would probably just leave, but I had no memories and no place to go. Plus I had to figure out how to adjust to life without my horn to help me. Wait. That’s right my horn! I still didn’t know what happened that caused it to break!

I turned my head towards Cadence and cleared my throat. “So… wanna explain the whole Santa suit thing?”

I have never seen a pony blush that hard in my life.

Cadence and I sat in a small room. In between us was a small wooden table with a white table cloth. As Cadence poured us each a cup of tea I thought about our time walking through the hallways. Apparently her reasons for being out there that night were of a more… personal nature. And she didn’t want to discuss them in the middle of the hall. After walking for what seemed like a good ten minutes, I ended up finding myself in this small room. And by small I mean it was actually a pretty average size for most houses, but I wasn’t in a house. I was in a palace. So a room of this size was pretty darn small.

There was a large window leading out to a balcony behind her. I couldn’t see the sun anymore on account of the clouds. The sky was covered in a sea of light gray that sprinkled snow all over the kingdom. I sat with my back towards the door, looking around the circular room with interest. There wasn’t much in here. Some short curved bookcases stretched bout a quarter of the wall on either side of me. A small white sofa beside one of them, a bean bag chair beside the other. Blue and white carpet sat underneath my hooves as I sat on my cushion. A golden chandelier hung above our heads. The door seemed to be made of a heavy oak or maple and while it was certainly intricately carved, it wasn’t hard to tell that would serve the practical purpose of keeping ponies out quite well. It was heavy, thick, and strong. It would take several earth ponies to bust it down were it locked.

I looked over to Cadence who had already begun drinking her tea. “So Candy,” she gave me a deadpan glare. “You want to explain what happened?”

Cadence set her glass down and fought her blush horribly. “Well. You see. I sort of have a thing for…”

***

Plushies.

I had lost my horn… for plushies.

Alright I’ll admit. She did have a somewhat decent reason for doing what she did. I can’t COMPLETELY blame her. Apparently, princess Cadence has a massive collection of Beanie Fillies. In Equestria Beanie Fillies is a toy making line that makes little foal versions of famous ponies and other creatures from Equestria’s history. You can get one of Celestia, Luna, Cadence, and Twilight of course, since they’re all princesses, but you can also get one of any of the elements of harmony, Discord, Chrysalis, Sombra, Daring Do, Nightmare Moon, Time Turner for… some reason or another though the tag on his calls him ‘The Doctor’, and even one for each of the wonder bolts and several other historic figures throughout the years. And apparently last night which was Hearths Warming Eve, they had released one in memory of her late husband.

So naturally she wanted to get the very first one.

And she did. Even though she wasn’t the first one there, everypony let her cut in line so she could get it before the rest of them. Some might think that they did that due to her position as princess, but I had a pretty good feeling that they were just showing respect for a tired and grieving widow.

After that she decided to do a little shopping. Apparently she has some public appearance she has to make at an orphanage tomorrow so she decided to buy them a bunch of toys. And apparently while she did that she happened to come across a Santa costume that was for sale. Since it was Hearths Warming Eve, she decided to buy it and a pair of fake reindeer antlers to put on her guards who, according to her, were happy to do so, something I made a mental note to ask them about were I to ever see them again. Her plan after that was to fly around the Crystal Empire a little bit while using her magic to make jingle bell sounds. You know, to hype it up for the little kids who were staying awake trying to get a glimpse at Santa Claus.

Of course, that’s where I apparently come into the picture.

While they were flying the bag carrying all the toys fell over, pinning Cadences wing. That in and of itself wouldn’t have been a problem if it hadn’t been for one of the toys also falling on one of her guards. Even then that wouldn’t have been such a big issue as the toy that fell was rather light and harmless. Instead what went wrong was HOW the toy hit the guard.

See when a pegasus flies they have to be very careful, the slightest little bump or touch can cause their wings to suddenly jerk and this can cause them to either fold back into place, get pulled at a weird painful angle, and has even been known to break wings from time to time.

That was one of those times.

Her left Pegasus guards wing snapped backwards with a painful pop. This caused him to shout in pain and slam into his comrade sending the whole carriage spiraling out of control. Now Cadence WAS going to save the day by just using her magic to right themselves and set them down peacefully, but at that moment one of the magic suppressing rings that all guards carry on them slipped out of one of their pockets and with the luck of a demon managed to slip onto Cadences horn.

Ironically, the toy that caused all of this was none other than a Sombra plushie. Go figure.

Anyways, enter me: The princess’ air bag. According to her right before they hit the ground they were enveloped in a magical aura that, while it didn’t have time to stop them, managed to slow them down enough so they survived with only a few minor injuries. Cadence knew it wasn’t her who used the spell so after looking around the clearing they ended up in, she found me knocked out on the ground. When she came over to check on me, she realized that my horn was broken from having been crashed into by the carriage.

I was glad though. It seemed I had managed to save them. I assumed that’s what I had been trying to do. I can’t remember my past, but I can still recall all of my magical knowledge. If I had wanted to I could have just set up a barrier which, while it would have protected me from harm, would have killed them on impact. Since I saved their lives, the few qualms I had about losing my horn were quickly put to rest.

We sat in silence a for a few moments after she finished her tale, gently sipping on our tea. Oh how I love tea, and this particular cup was my favorite flavor, ginseng. As I continued to sip and allow the hot liquid to pour down my throat, I wore what could only be considered the dopiest of smiles.

I opened my eyes as I heard Cadence giggling. “You should meet my aunt Celestia. Something tells me the two of you would get along quite well.”

“Why’s that Candy?”

“Stop calling me that.”

“Fine fine.” She smiled.

“And the reason is because you both seem to be big tea enthusiasts.”

I smiled. Yes I did love my teas. They weren’t a life consuming passion, but what’s life without an interest or two? “That’s very nice to hear, though tea is rarely complete without cake to go along side. There is nothing more important than tea and cake.” I said. This caused her to burst into hysterics, much to my surprise.

“What’s so funny Cadence?”

“It’s just… you… and my aunt… and… Ah ha ha ha hahahahaha!”

“I’m sorry what?” She was laughing so hard she was crying and even began gasping for breath. It took a bit but she finally managed to compose herself. Holding onto her sides with one hoof and wiping a tear with the other she managed to answer my question.

“My aunt… princess Celestia… says that ALL the time!” Cadance suddenly sat at full height and put on the most motherly smile she could, lifting her tea up to her mouth and taking a sip before doing a VERY BAD impression of her aunt. “Little niece, let me teach you the most important lesson there is in life. There is nothing more important than tea and cake.” With her cringe worthy impression over she burst into another fit of giggles sending her sprawling all over the ground.

I was about to open my mouth and speak, when the door behind us suddenly bust open with a huge slam. The loud noise caused me to whip my head around. There in the doorway stood several crystal ponies all being led by a crystal pony wearing an overly luxurious black suit. He had a grey coat with an onyx mane and was wearing… two monocles? Yeah he was wearing two monocles, one on each eye. His cutie mark was that of a wrapped up scroll. He looked into the room and seemed repulsed to see Cadence laying on the ground the way that she was.

“Hello, princess. Whatever are you… doing?” Cadence immediately sat up and took on the most royal pose that she could muster, which wasn’t much since her hair was in a mess from rolling around on the floor not moments ago and she still had a black eye.

“I was just having a chat with an… associate of mine.” She said pointing her hoof to me. Through some instinct unknown to myself I immediately put on the same kind of grand façade as Cadence, acting as though I was someone of a much higher position and standard than I really was. Rather than saying something, I smiled and gave him a brief nod. A glance towards Cadence told me she was surprised by my action, but thoroughly pleased.

This caused the stallion to raise his brow, but he continued on nonetheless. “I see. Well princess,” Wow, he was really laying his contempt on that word thick. “I heard about your… accident last night, and of course, being a noble here of the Crystal Empire, wanted to check on your condition. After all if you’re in poor health you won’t be able to attend tomorrow nights… benefactor.” He’d only said a few sentences and ALREADY I wanted to smash his face into the ground. It didn’t take ten seconds to realize that this guy was the pinnacle of everything corrupt in politics.

Cadence wasn’t one to be deterred by a few rough words, but I was able to see that she wasn’t free to simply say yes. It was obvious to me that Cadence hadn’t completely thought out her actions last night. In her desperation to get that toy she broke several taboos that were no doubt going to bite her in the flank very soon. She allowed herself to be seen walking into what higher ups would call a ‘commoners store’ just to buy a stuffed doll. That in and of itself could have been easily quelled by admitting that she had a collection of toys she kept as a hobby and wanted that particular one to go into her collection as well as for other more obvious reasons. While her having a collection of stuffed toys would have caused a small amount of media stir, it would’ve eventually have been accepted by the public. After all, princesses were still ponies just like everypony else. There’s nothing wrong with one having a hobby.

The real issues came with what Cadence did after that. She should have gone straight home at that point, but she didn’t. Instead she stayed, bought a bunch of other toys and then even went so far as to purchase a santa suit for herself and some reindeer antlers for her guards, only to arrive at the palace hours later without a carriage and an injured stallion.

This was going to bring up a LOT of controversy over Cadences mental health. I knew just from sitting down and talking with her that she was completely fine, but the rest of the world was going to be asking a lot of questions. I could still remember that there had been talk that Cadence had been drinking after the loss of her husband and while most of that talk had been squashed, this was only going to fan those flames and bring the old fires back to life. They’d start to wonder if she was drunk the whole night and if this was all being caused by her grief over the loss of her husband. If Cadence didn’t attend and put on an incredibly good show at the orphanage tomorrow, then those rumors were going to spiral out of control very fast and before you knew it they would start questioning her ability to rule the kingdom. There was no doubt in my mind that’s just what this guy wanted.

And none of that was helped by the fact that the Crystal Empire as a whole, with their culture being about a thousand years behind the rest of the worlds, was not too keen on a female being the primary ruler of the country. With Shining around they were able to tolerate it, without him however the Crystal Empire was growing restless.

Unfortunately for these nobles, instincts from whatever my past must have been kicked in causing me to smile as I realized I knew how to play the political game. Before Cadence could answer his question, I gave him an answer of my own. “But of course Sir Scroll, if I may call you that.” Both Cadence and this scroll guy looked at me in shock. He nodded his head allowing me to continue. “Princess Cadence is more than well enough to attend tomorrow nights benefactor. In fact she wouldn’t miss it for the world!” The two of them gave me more surprised looks, though Sir Scrolls was turning into more of an annoyed glare while Cadence seemed to be growing with worry. Obviously they both thought I had no idea what I was doing.

Well guess what? As of now I’m declaring myself an expert at pulling crap out of a hat and convincing everypony it’s gold.

“And pray tell, on what authority do YOU have to determine the health of her royal majesty?”

“Well if you must know I happen to be the victim of last nights terrible accident. The sudden winter winds of the far norths dreadful tundra were just too much for the princesses guards and herself. I stood helplessly as I watched her being tossed and turned by the storm. I tried my best to help her and lost my horn and memories in the process.” I hung my head in a false show of sorrow as I waited for the reaction of my bluff. When neither Cadence nor Sir Scroll called me out on it, I assumed my plan had worked and continued. “Her majesty has been so kind to me since the incident, apologizing several times, all for something that was out of her control. It was not her fault that nature is a cruel mistress. I remember last night so clearly. How she rose from the wreckage of her carriage, her body upright and strong. She stood in the regal pose we all know so well, taking full command of the situation as any proper princess would do. She healed her guards to the best of her ability before scanning the immediate area and finding me. When she noticed my condition she wasted no time in making sure that I obtained immediate medical attention. With a single solid order her guards took to the skies and carried me to the royal infirmary.”

Cadence and the noble sat in shocked silence at my telling of last nights events. Sure everything that came out of my mouth was pure bull, but he didn’t know that, and if he didn’t know that then that meant my assumption that no one, save for those actually involved in the events of last night, did either was right. Since that was the case there were two very important things that needed to happen here. First was stating the events of last night. In politics, the first thing that’s said is generally considered to be the truth. Everything after that is automatically considered to be a twisted version of the events and is therefore subject to scrutiny and even boldfaced lies and slander. The second thing was WHO was the first to say something. If it had been the guards or nurses, it would be easy to say that she had simply ordered them to say whatever she wanted. If it had been her, then they would just claim her mentally unfit to give a proper account of what happened and ignore it completely. But me? The actual victim in this whole case? That was a completely different story.

Given my position anything I had to say would be taken to extremes by the media. If I told them good things about Cadence, she’d be seen as a responsible leader who made the best of an unfortunate accident. If I lashed out I could, with the right words, essentially end her reign. The things I’ve said though have not only put her in a positive light, but will bar anypony’s attempt at saying she was under the influence.

You try taking a regal pose in hurricane force winds while you’re drunk. Doesn’t end well.

Also with the severity of my memory loss, nopony can really claim that I’ve been blackmailed or bribed into keeping my mouth shut. After all I was perfectly in my rights to press legal action against the crown. Legal action that could very easily end in my favor and earn me enough bits and other privileges that I’d never want for anything again. Bribing me would be a waste of energy. And it’s hard to blackmail a pony who can’t remember more than his name and age.

The last thing that could be said is that I couldn’t properly recall the events of last night due to the pain of losing my horn. But that was easily argued against as well. My former level of magical skill, which apparently was enough to put me in S class according to the results of some sort of test I took recently. (Unfortunately the paper with the results was destroyed in the crash and was unsalvageable) Since I was of that caliber, it was reasonable to assume that even losing my horn wouldn’t cause me to completely lose my understanding of what was going on around me. Which wouldn’t be a lie. I kept my head pretty well in that situation…

Well I like to think so at least.

I was glad to see Cadence crack a smile. She had caught on to my little game and now it was her turn to speak. “Thank you Radiance, that’s very considerate of you to say such things about me. But honestly I was only doing my job as a princess by tending to the well being of my ponies.” she turned her attention back to the noble. “Now, Sir Scroll as you can see I’m quite fine. If that’s all that you need of me I’d like to ask you and the others to leave. Mr. Radiance and I were in the middle of discussing a reward for saving my life as well as what his future plans were.” We were? “And I’d like to get back to that if you don’t mind.”

Sir Scroll, whose full name I would later learn to be Ancient Scroll, and his cronies were angry beyond belief. Veins were popping up in his head as he tried to keep his cool and not scream in frustration. He took a large, very shaky breath as he regained his composure enough to speak. “Of… course… princess. I’ll… let you… get back to that. Please… don’t mind… me.” He said before turning around and stomping out of the room like a child and slamming the door.

Cadence and I looked at each other for a few seconds before we both broke down into hysterics. The look on his face had just been too priceless. That stallion honestly thought he had the entire kingdom in his hooves, and then in comes me. I liked this feeling. It felt familiar. I guess I was used to screwing with nobles, or at least ponies that acted like them. That was a comforting thought. Anypony that show up snobs like them can’t be all that bad right? We laughed and laughed until our sides hurt and we were wheezing for breath. My laughing didn’t stop until I heard another sound though. The sound of sobbing.

I looked across the table to find Cadence laying on her belly, tears streaming down her face and unlike everything else today, I had no idea what to do or say. I was paralyzed to the spot, the gears in my brain working overtime trying to figure out what to do. Finally I decided to just go with the most obvious approach.

“Hey… you okay Cadence?” She sniffled a bit as she opened her mouth several times, trying to coax the words out. She wanted to speak but her body wouldn’t let her. I decided to just be quiet and wait until she was able to talk.

“Th-thank you.” She said. She sat up, her body slumping slightly as she turned her tired eyes towards me. “Thank you. For a second there… for just a second I thought I was going to lose everything. I promised Shining I’d be careful. That I’d take care of the Crystal Empire. But I can’t do that when I’m not on the throne now can I?”

The sweet tones of her voice were gone. What once was a beautiful song, was now the loud ringing of broken wind chimes. I frowned. Partly because I felt bad for her and partly because I had no idea what the heck I was supposed to say. I can deal with annoying nobles, but upset grieving widows? I could tell this was out of my range of expertise. Still I had to do SOMETHING, so I decided to wing it.

“Well yeah… I guess that is true.” Oh nice going. Come on say something else. Something that WON’T make you sound like an idiot. “Listen Cadence. I’m going to be honest… I don’t really know what to say. No clue, whatsoever. So instead, I’m just going to spew whatever random crap comes to my mind and hope it turns into a coherent and uplifting speech that makes you feel better.” I got a giggle and a small smile. Well, at least it was working so far. “You miss your husband, that much is obvious and not that surprising. You’re also a princess, meaning you don’t really get the time to yourself that you need and if I remember correctly, all of your family lives way to the south right?” Cadence nodded her head. “Well, if I put all of that together, then I can only guess you’re pretty lonely huh?” Another nod. “And you can’t really go out and make any friends because, again, you’re a princess and you’re in charge of an empire.” Three nods, I’m making good progress. “Thought so. Well then I have an idea.” She looked up at me with hopeful eyes. I just hoped this worked.

“What is it?” she asked.

I walked over to her and put on the brightest smile that I could. “Well, I’ve got nowhere to go, have no money, no job, and no home. So for now, it looks like I’m going to be stuck in the Crystal Empire for a while. So you give me someway to contact you, and once I’ve gotten something worked out and I’m settled somewhere. I’ll send you a message and from that point on I can be the friend you need, if not the one you want.”

Her smile widened. “Thank you Radiance.” I sat there grinning like an idiot at my successful attempt at cheering up a crying member of the opposite sex. Seriously I felt like I deserved an award. Where’s my big blue ribbon?

The sound of snickering pulled me out of my reverie. I looked at Cadence to see a new, much more devious smile cross her face. Instinctively I took a step back. This smile felt so… unnatural. Like it was breaking every single moral code that had ever existed. I could feel my primal instincts kicking in, begging me to run very far, very fast, but I knew that wouldn’t help. Whatever that smile was for, I wasn’t going to be able to escape from.

“You know,” she said. “There’s still the matter of rewarding you for saving my life.” Not with that smile there’s not.

“Don’t… don’t worry about it.” I stammered. “Really. It’s… it’s quite alright.” I started trying to take a few steps back before hearing a loud click. I looked behind me to see the remnants of a faint blue glow on the doorknob. She locked us in.

“You know, this country is very high on… tradition. The nobles here have been asking me for quite sometime to hire someone as my consort.” I did NOT like the sound of that.

“Um… a consort? You mean like an advisor?” She snickered.

“Oh no, nothing like that. Advisors just help with running the empire. Consorts are advisors of a more… personal nature.” I gulped as she stood up and sat down next to me, her body dangerously close for comfort as she stared at me with what could only be described as bedroom eyes. “Think of them as very good friends with very special… benefits.”

Nope.

NOPE.

NopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNope

My face turned so red I thought it was going to mix in with the color of my coat and go purple. I sat there with my mind swimming at the implications. My legs were shaking and I was starting to sweat… until she broke out into laughter.

“OH MY CELESTIA YOU SHOULD SEE YOUR FACE RIGHT NOW! THIS IS PRICELESS! I NEED A CAMERA! SOMEPONY GET ME A CAMERA!” She shouted as she rolled around on the ground once more. I just sat there and silently fumed.

“That’s NOT funny!”

“YES IT IS!”

“BUCK YOU CANDYBUTT!”

She looked me dead in the eyes and said. “GLADLY!”

“BY CELESTIA!” I shouted. More hysterics. Alright, I had to admit. I deserved that for what happened earlier and she got me pretty good. Now if only we could get back at Willow.

When we finally stopped laughing, yes I joined in too eventually, she looked up at me with what I felt was probably one of her first real smiles in months. “Listen, I am serious to some degree. I really would like you to take the position as my consort. I’d never ask you to do something like that with me. Not after…” she closed her eyes and took a shaky breath. “What I’m saying is, you seem like a pretty decent pony and you apparently know how to work your way around the political game. And I really DO owe you for saving my life, breaking your horn, and causing you to lose your memories. I’d never be able to live with myself if I just gave you a pat on the back, kicked you out of the palace and told you good luck in putting your life back together. So what do you say?”

I gave it a little thought. To be honest I was a bit apprehensive about accepting. It wasn’t that I thought I couldn’t do it. My heart was telling me that this was something I’d been doing for years, or at least something very close to it. What worried me was being thrown so suddenly into the limelight without my memories to assist me. I’d have to rely almost completely on my gut instincts, and I didn’t really like the sound of that. On the other hoof, being thrown into the limelight could also help me to find out who I was.

After all, who better to find information than nosy mainstream media?

“Alright. It’s not like I have anything better to do. I accept!” I heard a little squee come from Cadance before she wrapped me in a hug of death. I just smiled and patted her head awkwardly. With her this close I could smell the scent of her mane, and it almost brought a tear to my eye.

Honey, with a hint of cinnamon.

Author's Note:

Sometimes when I finish a chapter I feel like it's inadequate and I'm getting a bit of that vibe from this one. Unfortunately I've read it and re read it and brainstormed on how to make it better for far too long and no matter what I just can't seem to reach the quality I want. It feels like it's just one of those chapters that has to happen to explain the story and help things move along. So I'm sorry if this one isn't up to snuff.

So next chapter we'll be meeting another member of the eventual herd. Who do you think it's going to be? Celestia, Luna, or Twilight? Who do you HOPE he'll meet next? And who do you think he'll fall in love with first and why? Or do you think it's just going to all happen at once with some big epiphany on how they all love him and they realize they need to share him and the usual plot escape that doesn't have any kind of drama or fun filled antics? (Hint: It's not.)

Finally thank you all so much! I never imagined this story would get so popular! You guys are amazing!