Candybutt

"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." -George Santayana

Pain. That was all I could think about. Pain, pain, and more pain. My head was screaming, my body was shouting, and my heart felt like it would beat right out of my chest. Everything hurt from my head to my hooves. I tried to think of something else, anything else. I noticed sounds like whispers in the background, steadily growing in volume and strength. I let out a grunt as I attempted to drone the pain out, focusing solely on the rising whispers.

I felt something hard lightly tap my shoulder, sending waves of torment coursing through my body. I let out a feral scream, the pain once more overtaking my senses. In an instant I lost control of my body. My limbs jerked and flailed about as I spasmed on the ground. Though my screaming continued it fell on my own deaf ears, my pain so great I could not hear my own uncontrolled wails for mercy.

It was but a split second, but the object of my pain induced hell quickly pulled away to leave a screaming and convulsing mess. With the assailant removed the pain subsided somewhat. Seconds ticked by ever so slowly, the fires of hell itself wrapped around me like an ungodly blanket.

The pain never let up, but to my luck it never got worse. It kept going at the same steady level. Over time I was able to adjust to the pain enough to the point where I could at least hear the whispers again. Concentrating on those once more I was able to catch a few of their words.

“… is broken. His.. broken and… my fault.” came a female voice. If I had the ability at that point in time, I’m sure I would have blushed. Her voice, though sad at the moment, was gentle and sweet and carried an almost otherworldy tune to it. It reminded me of those candy whistles I used to eat as a child.

“Milady… have to move him… lucky to be alive… our responsibility…” came another voice. This one belonged to a male and was deep and gruff. A sharp shock of pain bolted up my spine at just that moment, causing me to whimper like a whipped dog and pulling my attention back to the cause of my misery. I was surprised though to find the pain wasn’t nearly as bad as it had been not a few moments prior. No… that wasn’t right. The pain was still there, I just couldn’t feel it. It was like my body had been numbed by something. I could still feel what should have been the pain pulsating from my various limbs.

It was then that I noticed how cold I was, though freezing would be a more appropriate term. I was on the ground that much was for sure but it wasn’t the hard dirt I was used to. No, whatever I was on was much softer, and chilled my body to the core. My curiosity piqued, I threw caution to the wind and opened my eyes.

It was snow.

All around me there was snow everywhere. I seemed to be in a clearing surrounded by dense evergreen trees. The sky was dark and cloudy with no moon to be seen. I could hear more talking in the distance. The voices growing steadily stronger as I came more and more into consciousness.

“Look at this register number! He was an S-Class unicorn! The highest level one can be without ascending! And we just broke his horn! When he wakes up he’s going to be devastated!” said the pretty voice again. Wait… my horn was broken? Well I guess that explains the pain.

I’m sure that if it weren’t for all this pain, that news would be enough to send me to the ground in a heap of misery and sorrow. But it felt like I had gone skinny dipping in a volcano so at the moment I really couldn’t have cared less.

I tried moving my head to see who was talking. It was a horrible idea that, while it worked, elicited more screams out of me. I heard the sound of crunching snow as the others in the clearing moved closer. One of them walked right up next to me, lying their body in the snow and putting their face right in front of my own so they could look me directly in the eye.

And what I saw gave my system a huge shock.

There lying next to me, her face eye level with my own, was none other than Princess Mi Amore Cadenza of the Crystal Empire. But that wasn’t what shocked my system. Oh no. The thing that astounded me, the thing that made it impossible for me to look away, the metaphorical train wreck from which I could not tear my eyes… was her clothes. Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, also known as Princess Cadence, was dressed up as none other than the famous stallion, Santa Claus.

Looking behind her I noticed a small pile of debris from what appeared to be the wreckage of a sky carriage. A large burlap sack sat slightly away and had fallen over, its contents spilling out all over the ground. I strained my eyes to see better, and found that everything in the bag was a gift of some kind. Most of them looked like toys made for little fillies and colts. Looking to the right of the bag I saw two pegasi dressed in royal armor each wearing a pair of… reindeer antlers? Yes, there were reindeer antlers on their heads.

If I weren’t in so much pain, my hoof would be meeting my face at speeds incomprehensible to the average pony.

“Excuse me sir, are you alright?” she asked. Regardless of how ridiculous the situation was, I couldn’t help but admire that singsong voice of hers. I tried to give a reply, but all that came out was a muffled groan of pain.

“Can you understand me?” I tried again, with a little more success this time.

“Y-yes.” I watched as Cadence breathed a heavy sigh of relief. With a sad smile she continued to ask me questions.

“Can you tell me your-” before she could get another word out I felt a surge of pain more intense than all the others pass through my body. I briefly recall my hoof slamming into something as my body began to convulse once more. Pain wracked every part of my being, consuming all of my five senses and leaving me helplessly at it’s mercy. I couldn’t feel anything save for the lightning now arcing through my muscles. For a brief moment I tried to fight it. Tried to save myself from the torment and force the pain to die down. But no sooner had I made the attempt than another, even more intense surge rippled through me.

As my world slowly faded into darkness, I was vaguely aware of the tears streaming down my face.

***

I awoke to a very rhythmic series of beeps. Constant and high pitched yet not jarringly so. My body felt light and my head even lighter as I tried to get a grasp of my surroundings. The first thing that caught my eye were the machines all around me. Medical equipment I realized. Looking down I found myself to be in a hospital gown with an IV attached to my left fore leg. Looking around I was surprised to find that I wasn’t in just some random clinic.

The room I was in was large, very large, and had hospital beds lined up on both walls. The walls, floor and ceiling were all comprised of luminescent blue crystal. A lush red carpet went down the middle of the room, serving as a kind of walkway in between the beds. The crystal that made up the floor was smoother and more translucent than that of the rooms walls and ceiling. Looking down one could see through at least ten feet of the floor. Inside of the crystal were long glowing strands that seemed almost ethereal in nature, like someone had cut a piece off the aurora borealis and sealed it in the ground, it’s beauty forever encased in stone.

Light streamed in through the massive glass windows, meaning at the very least it was morning now. I wondered if it was the morning of the next day, or if I had actually been out for quite some time. Judging from the rumble I got from my stomach, I’d say the latter.

“Oh! You’re awake!” I heard somepony call. It was definitely a female voice, but it was deep. It had a pretty heavy accent on it too, something of a mix between militaristic and a southern drawl. I turned my head to my right to find myself suddenly accompanied by a young white crystal pony with a braided red mane and a playful, almost sultry smile. I tried to speak, but found my throat was far too dry for that.

“W-water.” I croaked and she nodded her head in understanding. Leaving my side for just a moment before returning with a small glass. Instinctively I reached out with my magic to try and grab it, knitting my brow in confusion as nothing happened. Suddenly the memories of before I passed out came rushing back to me and I placed a hoof on my head.

Yup… it was broken alright.

The nurse looked at me with a mixture of sympathy and apprehension as I gave her a broken smile. No doubt she was worried I was going to have some kind of breakdown over the loss of my horn. To be honest I wasn’t that concerned. It was gone and there was nothing I can do about it save for picking up the pieces and moving on. What happens happens. No big deal.

I reached out with my hooves to grab the cup, only to fumble and cause it to fall to the ground shattering as the glass met the floor. The nurse looked at me sympathetically before cleaning up the mess and fetching a new glass. This time she was kind enough to hold it to my mouth so I could drink. Now that my throat didn’t feel like sandpaper I could finally talk properly.

“Thank you.”

“No problem. Now I need to ask ya some questions is that alright?” I nodded my head. They never found out who I was so it’s no surprise they’d have something or other to ask me. “I guess we’ll start with the easiest question first. What’s yer name?”

“Glorious Radiance.”

“Glorious… Radiance…” she said scribbling it on a clipboard she had been holding in her mouth. “And how old are you Mr. Radiance?”

“Please just call me Rade. And I’m twenty three.”

“Twenty three years old. Alright, can ya tell me where ya live?” I opened my mouth to answer, but shut it quickly again. I looked down thinking hard. Where DID I live? After a few seconds of silence I responded.

“I… I don’t remember.” Her eyes widened a bit at that, and she seemed to grow a bit worried.

“All right, well that’s fine. A little memory loss is common when somepony’s horn breaks. How about yer family? Is there anypony we can contact?” Once again I opened my mouth to answer, but I couldn’t find an answer to give.

“I… I don’t remember.” Now the nurse REALLY looked worried, which didn’t make me feel any better at all.

“Friends perhaps?”

I shook my head.

“Yer job?”

No clue.

“Do ya even remember if ya had any pets?”

Nope. Nothing.

“Oh boy. Look do ya remember anything OTHER than your name and age? Anything at all?” I looked down and strained my mind trying my very best to remember any minute detail of my life at all, but I came up blank every single time. Occasionally it would feel like something was trying to fight it’s way to the forefront of my mind but I would always get a sudden splitting headache and the memory would slip from my grasp. I let out a defeated sigh as I answered her question.

“No. No I don’t. I’m sorry…”

“Um… sorry for what, exactly?” she looked at me confused and to be honest, all I could do was return her look. I wasn’t quite sure myself.

“I… I don’t know. It jus felt like the right thing to say.” She frowned a little at that.

“Well ya have nothing to feel sorry for. Now you stay right there, I have to go speak with somepony for a moment. I’ll be right back.”

“Alright. Thank you miss?”

“Willow. My name is Willow.”

“Thank you miss Willow.”

She turned back to look at me, a smirk on her face. “Just Willow to you, boy.” I smiled as I watched her walk away. After losing focus in my eyes for a moment I realized I was staring right at her cutie mark which was a syringe and scalpel crossed to make an ‘X’.

“Keep starin at my flank like that and I’ll start charging ya for bits by the minute!” she suddenly called out from the doorway before turning out of sight. I was glad there was nopony else in the room as the blush on my face was really something fierce. It didn’t help I could hear her chuckling from down the hall.

A pretty decent amount of time passed after that. With nothing else to do I laid my head back and went to sleep.

***

“Rade? Rade wake up!” I kicked my hooves, flailing as I was flipped out of bed and onto the dirt floor. Groaning I lifted my head out from between the strands of hay that got tangled up in my mane. I looked to my right to see a young golden pegasus filly with long white hair tied in a ponytail staring at me with an unamused glare. “Come now thou distemperate bum! We hath work to do!”

“Leaveth me high-lone, Ambrosia!” I whined, my voice a much higher pitch than normal given my apparent age.

“Nay! I have let thou rest his weary eyes too long already! Thy unicorn brethren hath already risen the sun, no thanks to thee!” She yelled, jabbing a hoof into my side. Next thing I knew I had a magic suppressing ring on my horn. I tried to run away but it was no use. The filly was pulling me to our washroom. “Now come! I hath prepar’d a bath for thee and I expect thou to be ready in due time!”

“I hath no desire to do so! I hath taken one already this moon, is that not good enough? And get this ring off mine mazzard! I hate it when I can’t use magic!”

“If I take that ring off thou will cast a spell and vanish like the wind only to reappear in a location unbeknownst to me!”

“Do not be envious of mine prodigious talents!”

“I don’t care what ye art! Thou art taking a bath! Thy master Clover said thou hast to bathe at least twice a moon! Do not force my hoof and make me get in with thou!”

“The tub is too small to hold us both!”

“That is the point! Now hurry up!” Grumbling I got up into the wooden tub and did as I was told. Ambrosia meant the world to me, but sometimes I just couldn’t stand her. There were times I wish I could bail on her and go somewhere, anywhere, else. But I could never do that. Ambrosia meant too much to me and being alone in this harsh world was a death sentence.

When I was finally clean I stepped out of the tub and shook myself off. I considered using the towel, but it was the only cloth item we had and I wanted to use it sparingly. I walked out of the washroom and into the rest of our little house. It wasn’t much, but it was something. Plus we had a whole three rooms. One day though I’d have more than this. A proper home like the nobles, with a tiled roof, glass windows and full wooden doors. We were still starting out though, so it would be quite a while until then, so for now I was happy with what we had. Thatched roof, big holes in the wall for ‘windows’, and curtains made of woven wheat to separate the different parts of the house.

Ambrosia was sitting next to the cauldron stirring the contents and adding spices I had gathered in the Everfree. Today’s meal was going to be pretty decent for once. She turned to look at me and smiled. I returned it before sitting down next to her. She pulled the ladle out of the cauldron with her wing as I levitated two bowls towards us. Slowly she poured the soupy mixture into both of our bowls and we ate in peaceful silence.

Ambrosia moved over too me, lying her head on my shoulder as we took in the last bites of our food. Setting the bowls down I looked into the fire. I was happy, content. Everything was how I wanted it to be. Closing my eyes in this simple bliss I leaned into Ambrosia as she began to hum a tune. That humming soon turned to soft singing as I gave her a peck behind her ear.

You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me happy
When skies are gray
You never know dear
How much I love you
Please don't take
My sunshine away

She sang for a while, the same words and tune playing over and over again, much to my pleasure, before her song finally came to an end. We sat in silence for a while, before Ambrosia scooted even closer into me and spoke. “It is time. Thou must go.”

I closed my eyes as a solemn sigh left my lips. I looked down at her, gently nuzzling her head as I took in her scent. It was sweet yet packed a little punch, like honey mixed with cinnamon. I didn’t want to go, not now, not yet. I wasn’t ready and it was too early. “Must I truly?” I asked.

“Yes. Clover shant wait forever. Go. I will be here when thou returns on the morrow.”

I was staring into Ambrosia’s eyes when suddenly everything changed. Green fire consumed our home in the whole of a moment. With the suppression ring having been removed after my bath, I got up and began casting spells to put the fire out, but it was to no avail. I turned back to Ambrosia so that I could grab her and leave, only to find her completely consumed by the flames.

Though her body burned she did not die. As her flesh sizzled and popped her golden eyes bore straight into my soul. Opening what was left of her mouth she let loose a horrid scream. I covered my ears in an attempt to drown out the noise.

“YOU PROMISED!” She wailed. “YOU PROMISED YOU WOULD PROTECT US!” I looked around once again to find myself in a completely different location. I knew this place. It was the throne room… but to what palace? It wasn’t Canterlot, nor was it the crystal empire, yet I knew this place all the same, like it was a second home… no… not a second home. It WAS home. I was standing in its center, the glowing green crystal walls of the once great hall of royalty crumbling around me. I could not see the light of the sun or moon shining through the window, for my heart knew that this kingdom had no sky.

I looked around to find myself surrounded by ponies engulfed in emerald flames just like Ambrosia. They were all faces I recognized. Each one was a friend, a neighbor, a colleague. Each one was the face of somepony I was supposed to protect. They yelled at me, screeched at me, demanding to know where I was in their time of need. Begging for my help and accusing me of abandoning them. I tried to deny their claims. I tried to tell them the truth. I fought my hardest, I DID! But she was too strong! I couldn’t stop her, only weaken her! I did the very best that I could!

But your best was not enough!

I whirled around following the sound of the voice. There upon the throne sat the cause of my misfortunes. There sat my greatest enemy, the mare who I swore I would kill with my dying breath! The one thing that kept me going through everything that had happened to me!

***

“Nirvana!” I shouted. My eyes snapped open as I was pulled back to consciousness. My breathing was heavy and quick as my eyes darted around the room. Realization dawned on me. A dream. It had only been a dream. Closing my eyes I took a deep breath to calm my nerves.

“Mr. Radiance?” My heart skipped a beat. There it was again, that beautiful singsong voice I’d heard in the clearing. If that voice was here then…

“Princess?” I mumbled, opening my eyes. Sure enough there she was. Her Santa outfit was long gone, replaced instead by the royal regalia I knew so well. I looked to her face and found that her left eye was puffy and black. Oh… so that’s what my hoof slammed into. As my mind processed my location and the memories came rushing back to me, I felt a little more at ease.

“Yes. I am Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, but please, just call me Cadence. Are you alright Mr. Radiance?”

I chuckled. “Ay, Princess. I’m just fine. Twas a nightmare, nothing more. Thither's nay need worry over me. What of thou, however? Thou seem'd quite distraught yesterday. Art thou sure thou're alright? If thou worry of ill will against thee over mine horn, I assure thee I am content, and doth not blame thee in the slightest. Though I would wot how the nonce came to pass, if thou would be so kind.”

As I spoke I watched as the princesses head slowly began to back away from me, her eyes widening in surprise until they were the size of dinner plates. When I was finished speaking I originally thought nothing of it, until I realized that everything I had said was in old Equestrian. VERY old Equestrian. Then I too widened my eyes in surprise.

“Um… what did you say?”

I shook my head to clear away the thoughts of confusion over my own actions and responded to her question. “Sorry, I just had a bad dream and everypony was speaking in old equestrian in it. I guess it bled through to the real world. I said I’m fine, that I just had a nightmare, and that if you’re worried about breaking my horn then don’t be because I’m not upset. Though I would like to know how it happened.”

I watched her smile as she let out a large sigh of relief and her body slumped a bit. Apparently that had been really eating away at her. “Thank you. I’m so sorry. It was all an accident. Because of my recklessness you’ve lost not only your horn but your memories as well… I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, Cadence.”

“If you say so.” She placed a hoof to her head as her body slumped even further. She was tired, unbearably so, and though she was doing a good job at hiding it I could somehow see through her façade. Her wings were drooping, she wore heavy make up to hide her baggy eyes, her hoof was on her head so often that she had to have some kind of constant, perhaps even chronic, headache. This mare was stressed beyond belief and some foreign instinct told me that if she didn’t get some relaxation in soon, she was going to snap. “I was so scared you were going to be mad at me and get the courts and everything involved. Not that you don’t have the right too or anything! I’m just saying that that would have created a lot of problems and-”

“And you’re having a hard enough time running a country on your own?” She took a step back in surprise. Not that I could blame her. I knew very well what had happened and I had just been rather blunt about it. I didn’t even think before I said it, I just… did. I guess I’m rather rude. I’m not sure how to feel about that.

“Well that’s not what I was going to say-”

“But it is what you were thinking, right?” Wow. There I go again.

“I… yes. Yes it is. Running the empire was difficult even with Shining at my side, but at least having him around made it tolerable. Now that he’s gone-”

“You not only have a difficult time running the empire, but you have to deal with the fact that you simply just don’t WANT to run it as you’d much rather stay in bed and cry all night long?” Wow. Just… wow. Apparently my brain doesn’t want to register the fact that she’s a goddess and can incinerate me with her mind.

She stared at me wide eyed. “Again, that’s not what I was going to say but… yes. Yes that’s true. Also could you please stop doing that? You sound like aunt Celestia’s old advisor. The one that knew her so well she-”

“Could finish all of her sentences?” I said. Cadences gaze gave me with a highly disturbed look and the more I thought about it the more I realized just how creepy what I was doing was. “Right… sorry about that.”

“No, no. It’s fine. I just… how are you doing that exactly?”

I laughed. “Well that is what I’m paid for, Lady Platinum.”

…

“What?”

Cadence sat on her haunches and began rubbing her temples with her hooves. Eyes closed she said “Okay, let’s… let’s just start over.” She opened her eyes and walked to the side of my bed, holding out her hoof. “Hello, I’m Princess Mi Amore Cadenza. Ruler of the Crystal Empire and wife of…” I stared at her awkwardly as the words caught in her throat. She let out a defeated sigh before putting her hoof back on the ground. Her voice suddenly grew deeper and got an angrier tone as she spoke next. “Oh screw it! I can’t handle this…”

I felt something click inside of my head at that moment. This… this was a moment I had been through before. It was a situation I knew how to handle. In fact, I felt like I’d been handling this type of thing for years. I looked over to Cadence, placing my right hoof on her shoulder to get her attention.

“Cadence, please, relax. There’s no need for formalities here. I understand your trying to put on the princess mask in order to deal with a civilian issue and prevent a possible scandal, but as you can plainly see there’s nothing to worry about. I implore you to speak freely. Or at least as freely as you are willing to be.”

Cadance stared at me for a few moments, her face contorted into a bit of a pout as she eyed me up and down. She was looking for a catch of some kind, or some stupid thing nobles did to try and butter her up. She let out a sigh, looking away from me and crossing her fore hooves as she spoke. “Look, I’m sure you’re a good guy and all, but I just recently lost my husband. I’m not looking for anypony right now.”

“Um… what?” I asked thoroughly confused.

“I said I’m not looking for anypony right now. I’m not interested.”

“Not interested… in what exactly?”

She face hoofed. “In you!”

I looked at her surprised. That was rather insulting! “Well if I’m so uninteresting then why are you talking to me?” I asked with a clearly offended tone.

“Because I’m trying to be forward and not get your hopes up!”

“And what’s wrong with having high hopes?” Yeesh that sounds like something a tyrant would say! It’s good for ponies to dream! If they didn’t, little fillies and colts would never get their cutie marks!

“Because high hopes lead to delusions of grandeur and that leads to creepy stalkers!” My mouth dropped. Was this princess seriously accusing me of being a stalker? I felt a little bit of anger bubble up in me, something I quickly realized I wasn’t used to. That’s a serious blow to my pride and I was NOT going to take that sitting down!

“Why would I want to stalk you?! Your flanks too big and your wings haven’t even been preened properly!” And there goes her jaw dropping to the ground. Take that you two bit princess!

“At least I don’t have a broken horn!”

“You’re the one that broke it! In fact, you probably busted it with that fat rear of yours!” I heard some snickering from out in the hallway. I took a brief moment to look over the princesses head to find Willow and another crystal pony standing in the doorway with their hooves covering their mouths.

“I do NOT have a fat butt!”

“Yes you do Candy!”

“Candy?!”

“Yeah! Candy! Sounds like Cadence and is probably the reason Luna could see your flank from the moon!”

“AT LEAST I’M NOT A BLANK FLANK!” I was a blank flank? Whatever I could worry about that later. I had insults to dish out.

“YOU WERE LATE TO YOUR OWN WEDDING!”

“I WAS KIDNAPPED!”

“KIDNAPPED?! HOW DO YOU KIDNAP AN ALICORN?!”

“SHE HAD AN ENTIRE ARMY!”

“YOU SAW A GIANT MASS OF STRANGE BLACK BUGS OF DEATH AND THE THOUGHT OF RUNNING DIDN’T EVEN CROSS YOUR MIND?!”

“THEY WERE IN DISGUISE!”

“AS WHAT?!”

“AS… AS… as griffons”

“THAT’S EVEN WORSE!”

“WELL WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE?!”

“TELEPORTED OUT!”

“YOU HAVE A BROKEN HORN!”

“YEAH! COURTESY OF YOUR FAT REAR!”

“WHY YOU LITTLE-! BY CELESTIA I’M GOING TO DESTROY YOU!”

“BRING IT ON CANDYBUTT!”

And that is how I met the princess of love.

Author's Notes:

Sunbutt! Moonbutt! Sparklebutt! Meet CANDYBUTT!

Now I know what a lot of you are going to say: Hey! This guys personality is kinda bipolar isn't it? I mean he was so calm in the last chapter and then this happens isn't that weird? Well yes it is, but there's a reason for that. Give it time and it will make sense... eventually.

Also I know a lot of you are looking at this chapter and going "Wow... this is a lot more serious than the other one was." Well yeah, for now it is. But there will be bouts of hilariousness throughout this story as this story is first and foremost, a romantic comedy. It's just I have to lay that ground work for important stuff later on so yeah. They'll be somewhat serious for the next few chapters until I can get to the real slice of life comedy stuff I want to eventually get to.

Also given the nature of this story, herds will play a big role in general, so if there are any herd ships you want to see, let me know. You can leave it in the comments or even PM me if you want. It's up to you.

Also Nurse Willow in this story is based off a character from this incredibly awesome zombie fic written by Sorren which you can find here--> Undead Equestria by Sorren

Sombra's Revenge... Sort Of

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“Now what have we learned?” Willow asked in a painfully condescending tone.

“Do not buck with the hospital staff.” Cadence and I said at the same time, only to have the other nurse that came in with Willow slap us across the head. Apparently her name was Morning Star. I’ll give you three guesses what her cutie mark was.

“We don’t use that kind of language in the infirmary!” Willow shouted. Now hold on a second!

“You were joking about me paying money to stare at your flank earlier!” Ha! What do you have to say to THAT?

“Technically I was already past the doorway when I said that, so I wasn’t INSIDE the infirmary. And that was no joke. I can always use the extra bits.” She said with a sly smile and a wink. Oh this mare was good. Too good for my tastes. I wasn’t sure how I knew, but I got the feeling I wasn’t often bested in arguments and apparently I don’t take well to that. I mean I’m not about to go on a rampage just because I lost a contest of wits, but I’m certainly no good sport about it.

Cadence sat right next to me fuming and staring off into the distance with a big pouty face. The second our argument escalated to the point of possible violence those two mares descended on us with a wrath that would give even Celestia some pause. It was then that I learned that in the Crystal Empire, in order to be a medic in the military you had to be the best of the best in almost every field of combat training. They apparently had a belief that the medic is the most crucial and important thing on the field of battle and that it only makes sense to make sure that your highest valued operatives are capable of defending themselves with ease.

Needless to say our fight didn’t last long.

“Now I’m going to ask again, what have we learned?”

“The hospital is a place of healing, not a place of violence, so we should never ever ever fight in the hospital.” I said. I didn’t like this one bit. The whole time I was talking I sounded like a child. It was humiliating. Cadence didn’t fair much better.

“You too Cadence.” Willow said with a calm and gentle smile that pierced your very soul.

“I’m a princess, I shouldn’t have to put up with this! And he called me fat…” Cadence whined. Yeah, that’s another thing about the royal infirmary. The royal infirmary of the Crystal Empire is completely separate from the rest of Equestria and that’s a rule apparently bound in ANCIENT law, so there’s no contesting it and there’s no changing it. Willow and Morning Star are apparently the head nurses, meaning that in this room, their word is law. You walk through those doors and not even the princesses will have the power to touch you without their say. I mean they literally won’t be able to.

There’s a manuscript somewhere out there that binds the princesses and their kingdoms with incredible magical power. It was written by the unicorns when Celestia and Luna claimed sovereignty over Equestria. It acts as a kind of magical Bill of Rights, making sure that the two of them don’t abuse their power. However it only ever stated that it affected the rulers of Equestria, so technically it extends to every pony with royal blood. It can’t be disobeyed. If they tried to defy it… well you remember prince Dawnstar, Bluebloods brother, right?

What? You don’t? Well there you go. I’ve made my point.

“Then maybe next time you’ll learn not to jump to conclusions about a pony like that. And besides, I’ve been telling you for days that you needed to cut back on the sweets! Don’t get mad at him because he made a good call while insulting you! Perhaps this will keep you from calling up that friend of yours in ponyville and ordering her goods in bulk!” Wait, Cadence actually ate a lot of candy? Suddenly being talked down to like a child wasn’t so bad. I’d burned Cadence pretty good, and that was enough for me.

“Now I’m not going to ask again princess. What. Have. We. Learned?”

“The hospital is a place of healing, not a place of violence, so we should never ever ever fight in the hospital.”

“What was that?” Willow asked cupping her ear with her hoof.

“The hospital is a place of healing, not a place of violence, so we should never ever ever fight in the hospital.”

"One more time?"

“Ugh, the hospital is a place of healing, not a place of violence, so we should never ever ever fight in the hospital! There, happy?”

“Much better.” Willow replied with a sagely nod. “Now I believe you owe Rade here an apology.”

Under other circumstances I’d say that if looks could kill, Cadence would have murdered Willow five times over by now. Unfortunately I’m pretty sure that Willow would just shrug it all of like it was nothing. Turning to me she gave me a huffy deadpan stare. “I’m sorry for accusing you of hitting on me. I should have realized you were only trying to make me feel better.”

Another soul devouring gentle smile from Willow told me it was my turn now. “And I’m sorry for throwing all of those insults at you. It was childish and unnecessary.” I will not however apologize for owning your flank three different ways to Sunday.

“Very good. Now Rade if you’ll just sign here the two of you can be on your way.” It took me several minutes but I eventually managed to sign the paper with the pen. The longer I went without my horn, the more I came to resent what happened. I seemed pretty calm about it earlier, but I’m starting to think that’s just because the full implications of what happened hadn’t hit me yet.

Cadence and I stood there with grumpy faces as Willow and Morning Star closed the doors behind us with a resounding thud. We continued staring at the wall in silence for several seconds. “I really hate that mare sometimes.” she said.

“I can see why.”

“She thinks she’s so tough.”

“She did kind of hand our flanks to us on a silver platter.”

“We couldn’t use magic.”

“I know why I couldn’t use magic, but why not you?”

“Ancient laws were stopping me.”

“Ah. Aren’t Crystal ponies highly resistant to magic anyways?”

“So long as the Crystal Heart is in its proper place yes. What’s your point?”

“Somehow I just get this feeling that having our magic wouldn’t have changed that situation much.” She remained silent for a bit after that.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Still sometimes I just want to… to…” She raised her hoofs in the air and shook them back and forth with an angry look on her face.

“To choke a whorse?”

She snickered. “Well I wouldn’t say that...”

“She said she’d take money to let me stare at her flank. Twice.”

“Okay, I’d TOTALLY say that.” We both started giggling.

Once the laughter died down we were once again placed in an awkward silence. I tried to decide what I should do. Other would probably just leave, but I had no memories and no place to go. Plus I had to figure out how to adjust to life without my horn to help me. Wait. That’s right my horn! I still didn’t know what happened that caused it to break!

I turned my head towards Cadence and cleared my throat. “So… wanna explain the whole Santa suit thing?”

I have never seen a pony blush that hard in my life.

Cadence and I sat in a small room. In between us was a small wooden table with a white table cloth. As Cadence poured us each a cup of tea I thought about our time walking through the hallways. Apparently her reasons for being out there that night were of a more… personal nature. And she didn’t want to discuss them in the middle of the hall. After walking for what seemed like a good ten minutes, I ended up finding myself in this small room. And by small I mean it was actually a pretty average size for most houses, but I wasn’t in a house. I was in a palace. So a room of this size was pretty darn small.

There was a large window leading out to a balcony behind her. I couldn’t see the sun anymore on account of the clouds. The sky was covered in a sea of light gray that sprinkled snow all over the kingdom. I sat with my back towards the door, looking around the circular room with interest. There wasn’t much in here. Some short curved bookcases stretched bout a quarter of the wall on either side of me. A small white sofa beside one of them, a bean bag chair beside the other. Blue and white carpet sat underneath my hooves as I sat on my cushion. A golden chandelier hung above our heads. The door seemed to be made of a heavy oak or maple and while it was certainly intricately carved, it wasn’t hard to tell that would serve the practical purpose of keeping ponies out quite well. It was heavy, thick, and strong. It would take several earth ponies to bust it down were it locked.

I looked over to Cadence who had already begun drinking her tea. “So Candy,” she gave me a deadpan glare. “You want to explain what happened?”

Cadence set her glass down and fought her blush horribly. “Well. You see. I sort of have a thing for…”

***

Plushies.

I had lost my horn… for plushies.

Alright I’ll admit. She did have a somewhat decent reason for doing what she did. I can’t COMPLETELY blame her. Apparently, princess Cadence has a massive collection of Beanie Fillies. In Equestria Beanie Fillies is a toy making line that makes little foal versions of famous ponies and other creatures from Equestria’s history. You can get one of Celestia, Luna, Cadence, and Twilight of course, since they’re all princesses, but you can also get one of any of the elements of harmony, Discord, Chrysalis, Sombra, Daring Do, Nightmare Moon, Time Turner for… some reason or another though the tag on his calls him ‘The Doctor’, and even one for each of the wonder bolts and several other historic figures throughout the years. And apparently last night which was Hearths Warming Eve, they had released one in memory of her late husband.

So naturally she wanted to get the very first one.

And she did. Even though she wasn’t the first one there, everypony let her cut in line so she could get it before the rest of them. Some might think that they did that due to her position as princess, but I had a pretty good feeling that they were just showing respect for a tired and grieving widow.

After that she decided to do a little shopping. Apparently she has some public appearance she has to make at an orphanage tomorrow so she decided to buy them a bunch of toys. And apparently while she did that she happened to come across a Santa costume that was for sale. Since it was Hearths Warming Eve, she decided to buy it and a pair of fake reindeer antlers to put on her guards who, according to her, were happy to do so, something I made a mental note to ask them about were I to ever see them again. Her plan after that was to fly around the Crystal Empire a little bit while using her magic to make jingle bell sounds. You know, to hype it up for the little kids who were staying awake trying to get a glimpse at Santa Claus.

Of course, that’s where I apparently come into the picture.

While they were flying the bag carrying all the toys fell over, pinning Cadences wing. That in and of itself wouldn’t have been a problem if it hadn’t been for one of the toys also falling on one of her guards. Even then that wouldn’t have been such a big issue as the toy that fell was rather light and harmless. Instead what went wrong was HOW the toy hit the guard.

See when a pegasus flies they have to be very careful, the slightest little bump or touch can cause their wings to suddenly jerk and this can cause them to either fold back into place, get pulled at a weird painful angle, and has even been known to break wings from time to time.

That was one of those times.

Her left Pegasus guards wing snapped backwards with a painful pop. This caused him to shout in pain and slam into his comrade sending the whole carriage spiraling out of control. Now Cadence WAS going to save the day by just using her magic to right themselves and set them down peacefully, but at that moment one of the magic suppressing rings that all guards carry on them slipped out of one of their pockets and with the luck of a demon managed to slip onto Cadences horn.

Ironically, the toy that caused all of this was none other than a Sombra plushie. Go figure.

Anyways, enter me: The princess’ air bag. According to her right before they hit the ground they were enveloped in a magical aura that, while it didn’t have time to stop them, managed to slow them down enough so they survived with only a few minor injuries. Cadence knew it wasn’t her who used the spell so after looking around the clearing they ended up in, she found me knocked out on the ground. When she came over to check on me, she realized that my horn was broken from having been crashed into by the carriage.

I was glad though. It seemed I had managed to save them. I assumed that’s what I had been trying to do. I can’t remember my past, but I can still recall all of my magical knowledge. If I had wanted to I could have just set up a barrier which, while it would have protected me from harm, would have killed them on impact. Since I saved their lives, the few qualms I had about losing my horn were quickly put to rest.

We sat in silence a for a few moments after she finished her tale, gently sipping on our tea. Oh how I love tea, and this particular cup was my favorite flavor, ginseng. As I continued to sip and allow the hot liquid to pour down my throat, I wore what could only be considered the dopiest of smiles.

I opened my eyes as I heard Cadence giggling. “You should meet my aunt Celestia. Something tells me the two of you would get along quite well.”

“Why’s that Candy?”

“Stop calling me that.”

“Fine fine.” She smiled.

“And the reason is because you both seem to be big tea enthusiasts.”

I smiled. Yes I did love my teas. They weren’t a life consuming passion, but what’s life without an interest or two? “That’s very nice to hear, though tea is rarely complete without cake to go along side. There is nothing more important than tea and cake.” I said. This caused her to burst into hysterics, much to my surprise.

“What’s so funny Cadence?”

“It’s just… you… and my aunt… and… Ah ha ha ha hahahahaha!”

“I’m sorry what?” She was laughing so hard she was crying and even began gasping for breath. It took a bit but she finally managed to compose herself. Holding onto her sides with one hoof and wiping a tear with the other she managed to answer my question.

“My aunt… princess Celestia… says that ALL the time!” Cadance suddenly sat at full height and put on the most motherly smile she could, lifting her tea up to her mouth and taking a sip before doing a VERY BAD impression of her aunt. “Little niece, let me teach you the most important lesson there is in life. There is nothing more important than tea and cake.” With her cringe worthy impression over she burst into another fit of giggles sending her sprawling all over the ground.

I was about to open my mouth and speak, when the door behind us suddenly bust open with a huge slam. The loud noise caused me to whip my head around. There in the doorway stood several crystal ponies all being led by a crystal pony wearing an overly luxurious black suit. He had a grey coat with an onyx mane and was wearing… two monocles? Yeah he was wearing two monocles, one on each eye. His cutie mark was that of a wrapped up scroll. He looked into the room and seemed repulsed to see Cadence laying on the ground the way that she was.

“Hello, princess. Whatever are you… doing?” Cadence immediately sat up and took on the most royal pose that she could muster, which wasn’t much since her hair was in a mess from rolling around on the floor not moments ago and she still had a black eye.

“I was just having a chat with an… associate of mine.” She said pointing her hoof to me. Through some instinct unknown to myself I immediately put on the same kind of grand façade as Cadence, acting as though I was someone of a much higher position and standard than I really was. Rather than saying something, I smiled and gave him a brief nod. A glance towards Cadence told me she was surprised by my action, but thoroughly pleased.

This caused the stallion to raise his brow, but he continued on nonetheless. “I see. Well princess,” Wow, he was really laying his contempt on that word thick. “I heard about your… accident last night, and of course, being a noble here of the Crystal Empire, wanted to check on your condition. After all if you’re in poor health you won’t be able to attend tomorrow nights… benefactor.” He’d only said a few sentences and ALREADY I wanted to smash his face into the ground. It didn’t take ten seconds to realize that this guy was the pinnacle of everything corrupt in politics.

Cadence wasn’t one to be deterred by a few rough words, but I was able to see that she wasn’t free to simply say yes. It was obvious to me that Cadence hadn’t completely thought out her actions last night. In her desperation to get that toy she broke several taboos that were no doubt going to bite her in the flank very soon. She allowed herself to be seen walking into what higher ups would call a ‘commoners store’ just to buy a stuffed doll. That in and of itself could have been easily quelled by admitting that she had a collection of toys she kept as a hobby and wanted that particular one to go into her collection as well as for other more obvious reasons. While her having a collection of stuffed toys would have caused a small amount of media stir, it would’ve eventually have been accepted by the public. After all, princesses were still ponies just like everypony else. There’s nothing wrong with one having a hobby.

The real issues came with what Cadence did after that. She should have gone straight home at that point, but she didn’t. Instead she stayed, bought a bunch of other toys and then even went so far as to purchase a santa suit for herself and some reindeer antlers for her guards, only to arrive at the palace hours later without a carriage and an injured stallion.

This was going to bring up a LOT of controversy over Cadences mental health. I knew just from sitting down and talking with her that she was completely fine, but the rest of the world was going to be asking a lot of questions. I could still remember that there had been talk that Cadence had been drinking after the loss of her husband and while most of that talk had been squashed, this was only going to fan those flames and bring the old fires back to life. They’d start to wonder if she was drunk the whole night and if this was all being caused by her grief over the loss of her husband. If Cadence didn’t attend and put on an incredibly good show at the orphanage tomorrow, then those rumors were going to spiral out of control very fast and before you knew it they would start questioning her ability to rule the kingdom. There was no doubt in my mind that’s just what this guy wanted.

And none of that was helped by the fact that the Crystal Empire as a whole, with their culture being about a thousand years behind the rest of the worlds, was not too keen on a female being the primary ruler of the country. With Shining around they were able to tolerate it, without him however the Crystal Empire was growing restless.

Unfortunately for these nobles, instincts from whatever my past must have been kicked in causing me to smile as I realized I knew how to play the political game. Before Cadence could answer his question, I gave him an answer of my own. “But of course Sir Scroll, if I may call you that.” Both Cadence and this scroll guy looked at me in shock. He nodded his head allowing me to continue. “Princess Cadence is more than well enough to attend tomorrow nights benefactor. In fact she wouldn’t miss it for the world!” The two of them gave me more surprised looks, though Sir Scrolls was turning into more of an annoyed glare while Cadence seemed to be growing with worry. Obviously they both thought I had no idea what I was doing.

Well guess what? As of now I’m declaring myself an expert at pulling crap out of a hat and convincing everypony it’s gold.

“And pray tell, on what authority do YOU have to determine the health of her royal majesty?”

“Well if you must know I happen to be the victim of last nights terrible accident. The sudden winter winds of the far norths dreadful tundra were just too much for the princesses guards and herself. I stood helplessly as I watched her being tossed and turned by the storm. I tried my best to help her and lost my horn and memories in the process.” I hung my head in a false show of sorrow as I waited for the reaction of my bluff. When neither Cadence nor Sir Scroll called me out on it, I assumed my plan had worked and continued. “Her majesty has been so kind to me since the incident, apologizing several times, all for something that was out of her control. It was not her fault that nature is a cruel mistress. I remember last night so clearly. How she rose from the wreckage of her carriage, her body upright and strong. She stood in the regal pose we all know so well, taking full command of the situation as any proper princess would do. She healed her guards to the best of her ability before scanning the immediate area and finding me. When she noticed my condition she wasted no time in making sure that I obtained immediate medical attention. With a single solid order her guards took to the skies and carried me to the royal infirmary.”

Cadence and the noble sat in shocked silence at my telling of last nights events. Sure everything that came out of my mouth was pure bull, but he didn’t know that, and if he didn’t know that then that meant my assumption that no one, save for those actually involved in the events of last night, did either was right. Since that was the case there were two very important things that needed to happen here. First was stating the events of last night. In politics, the first thing that’s said is generally considered to be the truth. Everything after that is automatically considered to be a twisted version of the events and is therefore subject to scrutiny and even boldfaced lies and slander. The second thing was WHO was the first to say something. If it had been the guards or nurses, it would be easy to say that she had simply ordered them to say whatever she wanted. If it had been her, then they would just claim her mentally unfit to give a proper account of what happened and ignore it completely. But me? The actual victim in this whole case? That was a completely different story.

Given my position anything I had to say would be taken to extremes by the media. If I told them good things about Cadence, she’d be seen as a responsible leader who made the best of an unfortunate accident. If I lashed out I could, with the right words, essentially end her reign. The things I’ve said though have not only put her in a positive light, but will bar anypony’s attempt at saying she was under the influence.

You try taking a regal pose in hurricane force winds while you’re drunk. Doesn’t end well.

Also with the severity of my memory loss, nopony can really claim that I’ve been blackmailed or bribed into keeping my mouth shut. After all I was perfectly in my rights to press legal action against the crown. Legal action that could very easily end in my favor and earn me enough bits and other privileges that I’d never want for anything again. Bribing me would be a waste of energy. And it’s hard to blackmail a pony who can’t remember more than his name and age.

The last thing that could be said is that I couldn’t properly recall the events of last night due to the pain of losing my horn. But that was easily argued against as well. My former level of magical skill, which apparently was enough to put me in S class according to the results of some sort of test I took recently. (Unfortunately the paper with the results was destroyed in the crash and was unsalvageable) Since I was of that caliber, it was reasonable to assume that even losing my horn wouldn’t cause me to completely lose my understanding of what was going on around me. Which wouldn’t be a lie. I kept my head pretty well in that situation…

Well I like to think so at least.

I was glad to see Cadence crack a smile. She had caught on to my little game and now it was her turn to speak. “Thank you Radiance, that’s very considerate of you to say such things about me. But honestly I was only doing my job as a princess by tending to the well being of my ponies.” she turned her attention back to the noble. “Now, Sir Scroll as you can see I’m quite fine. If that’s all that you need of me I’d like to ask you and the others to leave. Mr. Radiance and I were in the middle of discussing a reward for saving my life as well as what his future plans were.” We were? “And I’d like to get back to that if you don’t mind.”

Sir Scroll, whose full name I would later learn to be Ancient Scroll, and his cronies were angry beyond belief. Veins were popping up in his head as he tried to keep his cool and not scream in frustration. He took a large, very shaky breath as he regained his composure enough to speak. “Of… course… princess. I’ll… let you… get back to that. Please… don’t mind… me.” He said before turning around and stomping out of the room like a child and slamming the door.

Cadence and I looked at each other for a few seconds before we both broke down into hysterics. The look on his face had just been too priceless. That stallion honestly thought he had the entire kingdom in his hooves, and then in comes me. I liked this feeling. It felt familiar. I guess I was used to screwing with nobles, or at least ponies that acted like them. That was a comforting thought. Anypony that show up snobs like them can’t be all that bad right? We laughed and laughed until our sides hurt and we were wheezing for breath. My laughing didn’t stop until I heard another sound though. The sound of sobbing.

I looked across the table to find Cadence laying on her belly, tears streaming down her face and unlike everything else today, I had no idea what to do or say. I was paralyzed to the spot, the gears in my brain working overtime trying to figure out what to do. Finally I decided to just go with the most obvious approach.

“Hey… you okay Cadence?” She sniffled a bit as she opened her mouth several times, trying to coax the words out. She wanted to speak but her body wouldn’t let her. I decided to just be quiet and wait until she was able to talk.

“Th-thank you.” She said. She sat up, her body slumping slightly as she turned her tired eyes towards me. “Thank you. For a second there… for just a second I thought I was going to lose everything. I promised Shining I’d be careful. That I’d take care of the Crystal Empire. But I can’t do that when I’m not on the throne now can I?”

The sweet tones of her voice were gone. What once was a beautiful song, was now the loud ringing of broken wind chimes. I frowned. Partly because I felt bad for her and partly because I had no idea what the heck I was supposed to say. I can deal with annoying nobles, but upset grieving widows? I could tell this was out of my range of expertise. Still I had to do SOMETHING, so I decided to wing it.

“Well yeah… I guess that is true.” Oh nice going. Come on say something else. Something that WON’T make you sound like an idiot. “Listen Cadence. I’m going to be honest… I don’t really know what to say. No clue, whatsoever. So instead, I’m just going to spew whatever random crap comes to my mind and hope it turns into a coherent and uplifting speech that makes you feel better.” I got a giggle and a small smile. Well, at least it was working so far. “You miss your husband, that much is obvious and not that surprising. You’re also a princess, meaning you don’t really get the time to yourself that you need and if I remember correctly, all of your family lives way to the south right?” Cadence nodded her head. “Well, if I put all of that together, then I can only guess you’re pretty lonely huh?” Another nod. “And you can’t really go out and make any friends because, again, you’re a princess and you’re in charge of an empire.” Three nods, I’m making good progress. “Thought so. Well then I have an idea.” She looked up at me with hopeful eyes. I just hoped this worked.

“What is it?” she asked.

I walked over to her and put on the brightest smile that I could. “Well, I’ve got nowhere to go, have no money, no job, and no home. So for now, it looks like I’m going to be stuck in the Crystal Empire for a while. So you give me someway to contact you, and once I’ve gotten something worked out and I’m settled somewhere. I’ll send you a message and from that point on I can be the friend you need, if not the one you want.”

Her smile widened. “Thank you Radiance.” I sat there grinning like an idiot at my successful attempt at cheering up a crying member of the opposite sex. Seriously I felt like I deserved an award. Where’s my big blue ribbon?

The sound of snickering pulled me out of my reverie. I looked at Cadence to see a new, much more devious smile cross her face. Instinctively I took a step back. This smile felt so… unnatural. Like it was breaking every single moral code that had ever existed. I could feel my primal instincts kicking in, begging me to run very far, very fast, but I knew that wouldn’t help. Whatever that smile was for, I wasn’t going to be able to escape from.

“You know,” she said. “There’s still the matter of rewarding you for saving my life.” Not with that smile there’s not.

“Don’t… don’t worry about it.” I stammered. “Really. It’s… it’s quite alright.” I started trying to take a few steps back before hearing a loud click. I looked behind me to see the remnants of a faint blue glow on the doorknob. She locked us in.

“You know, this country is very high on… tradition. The nobles here have been asking me for quite sometime to hire someone as my consort.” I did NOT like the sound of that.

“Um… a consort? You mean like an advisor?” She snickered.

“Oh no, nothing like that. Advisors just help with running the empire. Consorts are advisors of a more… personal nature.” I gulped as she stood up and sat down next to me, her body dangerously close for comfort as she stared at me with what could only be described as bedroom eyes. “Think of them as very good friends with very special… benefits.”

…

Nope.

NOPE.

NopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNope

My face turned so red I thought it was going to mix in with the color of my coat and go purple. I sat there with my mind swimming at the implications. My legs were shaking and I was starting to sweat… until she broke out into laughter.

“OH MY CELESTIA YOU SHOULD SEE YOUR FACE RIGHT NOW! THIS IS PRICELESS! I NEED A CAMERA! SOMEPONY GET ME A CAMERA!” She shouted as she rolled around on the ground once more. I just sat there and silently fumed.

“That’s NOT funny!”

“YES IT IS!”

“BUCK YOU CANDYBUTT!”

She looked me dead in the eyes and said. “GLADLY!”

“BY CELESTIA!” I shouted. More hysterics. Alright, I had to admit. I deserved that for what happened earlier and she got me pretty good. Now if only we could get back at Willow.

When we finally stopped laughing, yes I joined in too eventually, she looked up at me with what I felt was probably one of her first real smiles in months. “Listen, I am serious to some degree. I really would like you to take the position as my consort. I’d never ask you to do something like that with me. Not after…” she closed her eyes and took a shaky breath. “What I’m saying is, you seem like a pretty decent pony and you apparently know how to work your way around the political game. And I really DO owe you for saving my life, breaking your horn, and causing you to lose your memories. I’d never be able to live with myself if I just gave you a pat on the back, kicked you out of the palace and told you good luck in putting your life back together. So what do you say?”

I gave it a little thought. To be honest I was a bit apprehensive about accepting. It wasn’t that I thought I couldn’t do it. My heart was telling me that this was something I’d been doing for years, or at least something very close to it. What worried me was being thrown so suddenly into the limelight without my memories to assist me. I’d have to rely almost completely on my gut instincts, and I didn’t really like the sound of that. On the other hoof, being thrown into the limelight could also help me to find out who I was.

After all, who better to find information than nosy mainstream media?

“Alright. It’s not like I have anything better to do. I accept!” I heard a little squee come from Cadance before she wrapped me in a hug of death. I just smiled and patted her head awkwardly. With her this close I could smell the scent of her mane, and it almost brought a tear to my eye.

Honey, with a hint of cinnamon.

Author's Notes:

Sometimes when I finish a chapter I feel like it's inadequate and I'm getting a bit of that vibe from this one. Unfortunately I've read it and re read it and brainstormed on how to make it better for far too long and no matter what I just can't seem to reach the quality I want. It feels like it's just one of those chapters that has to happen to explain the story and help things move along. So I'm sorry if this one isn't up to snuff.

So next chapter we'll be meeting another member of the eventual herd. Who do you think it's going to be? Celestia, Luna, or Twilight? Who do you HOPE he'll meet next? And who do you think he'll fall in love with first and why? Or do you think it's just going to all happen at once with some big epiphany on how they all love him and they realize they need to share him and the usual plot escape that doesn't have any kind of drama or fun filled antics? (Hint: It's not.)

Finally thank you all so much! I never imagined this story would get so popular! You guys are amazing!

Pranks and Hi-Jinks

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“This day was going to be perfect… the kind of day of which I’ve dreamed since I was small…” I sat and listened as Cadence sang. It had been about a month since I had become her consort, and we had become good friends during that time. We discovered quickly that we shared many interests, from types of food and entertainment, to basic morals and philosophies. Of course, I had to rediscover a lot of that but that mattered little in her eyes.

With all the good things though, we learned there were just as many bad. Such as Cadences obsession, and I do mean OBSESSION, with bonbons. I had heard tales from the palace staff that Celestia ate a whole cake each day. At first I just chocked it up to nothing but silly rumors, but after watching the first shipment of bonbons come into the palace for what had apparently been the first time in months due to some sort of order mix up, I found that rumor gaining more than a little bit of credibility. If Celestia ate cake like Cadence at bonbons, then I wouldn’t be surprised if she ate SEVERAL cakes a day.

She wasn’t the only one who had a vice though. About a week into living in the palace a bug had gotten into my room and I discovered pretty fast that I was afraid, not of the bug, but of the buzzing sound its wings made. Don’t ask me why, I don’t understand it myself, but that buzzing sent a shiver down my spine and before I knew what had happened I was running down the hallways screaming like a little filly and all but crying my eyes out. Cadence found me a little while later cowering under the sink in the palace kitchens.

She has since made a spell to replicate that specific sound whenever she desires.

In return I’ve started using her name to swear.

How we haven’t killed each other yet is a mystery to me.

We had decided to tell everyone the next day at the benefactor. While it had yet to be official on paper, we believed it would be best to tell the public as quickly as possible before rumors started flying around about a ‘mysterious stallion’ living in the palace. Of course making me a consort rather than an advisor also gave the media some fuel to fan whatever flames they wanted, particularly those of a more… intimate nature.

Cadence however wouldn’t have it any other way. She didn’t need another advisor, she had plenty of those, all of whom had to, by law, be accepted by the majority of the nobility. What she needed was a friend. Somepony to listen to her troubles regardless of what they may be. Somepony she could just relax around. Somepony willing to tell her to shut the buck up and go eat a bowl of bonbons before she had a nervous breakdown. Somepony who was equally as willing to play as many pranks on Willow as possible.

All of which would inevitably fail and/or blow up in our faces.

Sometimes literally.

And so here I was, sitting in Cadences room listening to a song she and her late husband had written based off the events of their wedding. They had called it “This Day Aria”. It was a duet that while sung best by two females could have the words switched around to be sung by just about anyone. One pony would sing the part of Queen Chrysalis, and the other sang the part of Cadence. Shining and Cadence had made it a point to sing this song once a year every year on their anniversary. This would be the first year she had without him there but she still wanted to keep up the tradition. So, she asked me to fill in instead.

And my god was it beautiful.

I discovered that my voice was a smooth high tenor that could sink into a low baritone. My range was ridiculous and we were both pleased and surprised by that fact. Our voices mixed together as we sang the song several times over. Having discovered my new ability I gave it everything I had. I had to do the best that I could. Cadence was in pain, and I was her friend. I needed to do my best to alleviate the pain as much as I was able. After all, that’s what friends do.

As the final verse of the last song came to an end we smiled. Hers was a sad teary eyed smile, but a smile nonetheless. That thought caused my heart to swell, if only a little. Cadence was, to be completely honest, all that I really had. None of my memories had returned since I woke up and I hadn’t even had anymore of those strange dreams since I first arrived. Needless to say I was… a bit perturbed by that. But I kept my disdain for my own situation hidden. Cadence had enough on her plate without worrying about me.

“That… that was beautiful. ” She said as she wiped tears from her eyes.

“Yeah. I had no idea I could sing like that.” I rubbed the back of my head and looked away.

“I’m surprised that you don’t have a cutie mark. You seem to be so talented in so many different areas it’s almost unreal. You can sing, write amazing poetry, play the violin with your hooves, proficiently dance in multiple styles, brew high quality potions, are an expert on magical theory and a former master in practical magic (she winced a bit when she said that), and to top it all off you have a mind that would put some of Equestria’s greatest to shame.”

“And yet a bug can make me cry in a corner…” I said looking to the ground dejectedly. She was right, we had discovered I was pretty good a large quantity of things, but honestly I didn’t find it all that impressive. Anypony can be good at anything with enough practice. Having all of these abilities but no cutie mark probably just meant I had spent a lot of time in my life soul searching only to end up getting nowhere and picking up a few tricks along the way, and I said as much to her.

“Really Rade? You can do all of this cool stuff yet the only thing you can see is your failure to get a cutie mark?”

“Being a little blunt there don’t you think Candy?” She blinked a few times before splaying her ears back and frowning.

“I didn’t mean it like that Rade.”

“I know, I know. It’s just… adults without cutie marks are rare. And the few that exist are normally…”

“Lazy incompetent jerks who tend to go out of their way to make everypony else’s life miserable?”

“Well I wouldn’t say that…”

Cadence giggled. “That’s MY line!” We both laughed like idiots for a moment. Ever since we met we’d gotten into the habit of me completing her sentences in a really blunt and straightforward way like I had on the first day. It’s been a guilty pleasure ever since.

“Seriously though Rade you have nothing to worry about. You’ve been nothing short of a true gentle colt since you arrived here.”

“I’LL BE THE JUDGE OF THAT!”

Cadence and I whipped our heads around to the large double doors that lead into her room. I recognized the mare standing in the doorway almost immediately. After all, there were only four ponies in the world with wings and a horn, and only one of them was lavender.

By the way, did I mention that she looked PIIIIIIIIIIIIISSED.

“Twilight?!” Cadence exclaimed. “Well this is a surprise! A pleasant one but still! What are you doing here?” Twilight marched up to us, her hooves stomping on the ground so hard I was shocked she wasn’t leaving cracks in the floor, her head held low with eyes filled with murder, and her wings flaring out to both sides threateningly. Cadence just smiled.

She was completely oblivious.

“What am I doing here?!” Whoa. I’ve never seen Cadence get angry, but if all of the alicorns are like this when their mad, I REALLY didn’t want to. Twilights mane was frazzled with strands standing out in all sorts of different places. She looked more like an asylum escapee than the newest princess. I felt bad for Cadence. It would be horrible if I was on the receiving end of that mares rage. “THAT’S WHAT I’M DOING HERE!” she screamed, pointing her hoof at me… wait! At me?! What’d I do?!

“Hey!” I said. “I’ll have you know I’ve been a very good little pony! I even met Santa personally on Hearths Warming Eve!” I said with a sagely nod. This got a snicker and blush from Cadence and a glare from OH MY CADENCE THAT LAVENDER DEMON IS STARING INTO MY SOUL MAKE IT STOP!

“I. Wasn’t. Talking. To. You.” Twilight said. I just cowered in fear and nodded my head as I began muttering ancient demon warding chants incoherently.

“Um, Twilight, I’m sensing a little animosity from you?” A little? A LITTLE?! REALLY CADENCE?! This pony is trying to incinerate me into ashes with her eyes and you’re sensing a LITTLE animosity?! Thank your giant flank you’re the princess of love and not the princess of I don’t know, war or something. Equestria would be taken over in less than a day because you’d be unsure if the enemy burning down your kingdom is actually an enemy or just really REALLY bad at fighting fires!

Okay, maybe that’s a little bit much, but I’m REALLY freaking out right now! And I’m not exactly a nice guy when I go into panic mode. At least not in my head anyways.

“Yes well I’m not exactly happy at the moment…” she seethed. Gee, I couldn’t have guessed.

“Well why not?” That right there Cadence, is the million bit question.

“Because of THIS!” she shouted. Suddenly a newspaper appeared in mid air and she levitated it to the table that sat between Cadence and I, all the while glaring at me. I began to shrink in my seat hoping to become very, VERY small.

“It’s just a newspaper, Twilight.”

“Look at the front page Cadence!”

Cadence scanned the page while I prayed to Akatosh to save me from Oblivion. “Twilight it’s just an interview with Fancy Pants asking me questions about my consort.”

“EXACTLY!” Twilight shouted waving her fore hooves in the air. I shrank a little further and started praying to the other eight divines as well.

“I… don’t understand.”

“Why Cadence?! Why do you have a consort?!”

“Um… because I want one?” she said with an annoyed look. Ooh! This was a nice treat. Twilight just brought out what I like to call the REAL Cadence. So far as I could tell there were three very different sides to Cadence. The serious princess that almost everypony knew. The playful little filly that those close to her got to know. And finally this bit-

“Because you want one?! You have ADVISORS!” Yeesh princess, chill out. You’re less five feet away we can hear you just fine. No need to turn on the caps lock. Cadence just looked nonplussed.

“Twilight I can’t talk about the embarrassing pictures I have of my aunts with my advisors.”

“You have embarrassing pictures of the princesses?” I asked. Embarrassing photos of two all powerful deities is apparently enough to make me forget about the anger of the slightly-less-powerful-but-still-perfectly-capable-of-incinerating-me-into-ashes deity standing next to me.

“Oh yes and some of my old friends as well!”

“Weren’t you friends with the captain of the wonder bolts when you were a kid?”

“Spitfire? Yes I was. Oh! That reminds me! I have a photo of her on her eighth birthday dancing around in a frilly dress wearing these really gaudy red glasses. Back then she was absolutely POSTITIVE she was going to grow up to be a fashionista!”

“You’re joking!” I said, my jaw nearly hitting the ground.

“Nope! Come on I’ll show you!” I got ready to get up and leave my seat when-

“I’M STILL TALKING!” Annnnnnd… back to cowering in fear.

“Twilight…” Cadence said. “I still don’t understand what the problem is. I have a consort. What’s wrong with that?”

Twilight was steaming mad. Literally. Wisps of water vapor were beginning to come off her skin and her eye was beginning to develop a very severe twitch. Fear was beginning to consume my every being and I didn’t like that one bit.

Of course… idiocy knows no fear, so my next course of action makes total sense in that regard.

“It’s alright Candy…” I said. My tone low and dejected as I looked away in false shame. I’ve come to learn that when I’ve been in too tense of a social situation long enough, and it’s always social, if it’s a fight or something to do with politicians I’m fine but otherwise I tend to say stupid ridiculous things that no one believes in order to ease the tension, even when it’s really inappropriate. “I fully understand why she’s here…”

Cadence looked at me with worry while Twilight got a devilish grin, like she’d just won the lottery. “Rade?” she called reaching out to me with a hoof. I raised my own to stop her as I waited a few moments to respond.

“Don’t Candy. I… I should have told you this sooner…” Cadence looked really worried, bordering on scared. Twilight on the other hand, continued to make the loony pin look like a very relaxing vacation spot.

“Candy I’m…”

“Yes?”

“I’m…”

“Yes?”

“I’M…”

“OH JUST SPIT IT OUT SO I CAN RUN YOU OUT OF THIS PALACE ALREADY!” Twilight shouted.

“I'M A SPACE ALIEN FROM A PLANET CALLED EARTH THAT'S INHABITED BY A RACE CALLED HUMANS!”

All I registered after that was a bright flash of lavender and then black.

***

“I knew you’d eventually come around and accept my second date.”

“Buck you Willow.” I woke up later in the infirmary and I have to say… OW DOES NOT SUFFICE IN THIS SITUATION! Also flowers should be allowed to dance freely and without persecution… but I’m pretty sure that’s the pain killers talking not me.

“Hey we aren’t that far in the relationship yet. At least wait a couple more dates. Also there are simpler ways to ask a girl out than death defying stunts you know?” Yeah. Apparently Twilight wasn’t too happy with what I said and shot me with a nice high powered bolt of magic. I got knocked out immediately from the spell but that’s not all. Evidently she packed so much magic into the spell she sent me flying out the window and over the balcony where I plummeted from the top of the crystal palace to the ground below. I was very lucky that Willow just happened to be cleaning out old mattresses from the infirmary, which when combined with an incomplete spell designed to keep ponies that accidentally fell off the balconies from dying, was just enough to cushion my fall and save my life.

It didn’t stop me from breaking nearly every bone in my body though.

And so here I lay a few hours later in a full body cast. Luckily I won’t be here for long. Being Cadences consort grants me special privileges, like access to some REALLY powerful healing potions. They make me feel like my whole body is on fire and while it isn’t close to having my horn broken, it’s still more than enough I wouldn’t wish it on anypony else. Luckily though I’d be healed in a few days so that’s good.

“Buck. You. Willow.”

“Wow you really want a piece of my flank don’t ya? Tell ya what, you’re more than welcome to look, but don’t touch.” She started to turn around.

“Willow I swear on Candy’s crown if you raise your tail I will pummel you into the ground.”

“Ooh! Good! I like my stallions rough!”

“… I need an adult.”

“I AM an adult.” She said with a sly grin.

“Willow leave Rade alone please.” The doors to the infirmary opened up and I looked over to see Cadence walking in. The light streaming in cast a dull orange glow across the room signaling that several hours had passed since my fall, and those hours looked like they’d taken a serious toll on Cadence. Her mane and tail were disheveled, mascara was running down her face in tear stains, and her wings were sagging across the ground. If I hadn’t known better, I’d have assumed she’d gotten back from saving the world.

Then again, calming down an angry alicorn may just fall under that category.

Cadence walked over to me slowly, sitting down next to me and allowing her head to rest on my bed. Not that I minded. Like I said, we’d become close friends over the past month. “Um… I’d ask if you were okay Candy, but it’s pretty obvious you’re not. Still, wanna talk about it?”

“Ugh… I had a long LONG talk with Twilight and I still don’t understand why she’s upset. All I know is that she’s pissed about you being my consort and I have no idea why. Each time I asked her to elaborate she’s just get more upset and yell at me for being to blind to see what the issue was. The best I could get out of her is that she doesn’t think I’m safe around you or… something. There’s more to it than that but she can’t seem to find the words.”

“Did she look through the telescope?” I asked. Cadence gave me a confused look as Willow cleared her throat.

“He’s still coming off the painkillers we gave him earlier.”

“Ah okay.”

“Anyways,” I said. “So what now? How did you convince her to go home?” Cadence grimaced at that.

“I didn’t…”

“What?”

“I didn’t. Twilight refuses to leave until she’s absolutely sure that you’re not a threat.”

“… Imma gonna die.” I said, letting my head flop back onto my pillow.

“Oh don’t be so dramatic. Look, all we have to do is behave and I’m sure she’ll see how great a friend you are and how happy you’re making me and eventually go home. No big deal right?” Willow turned her head towards her with the most incredulous looks she could muster.

“You two?! Behave?! Bwahahahahahaha!” The only way you can do that is if we strap you down and keep you from being in the same room together! You kids get into all sorts of trouble everyday!”

Cadence and I looked at her offended. “We do not!” we said.

Now it was Willows turn to speak. “You blew up the royal kitchen.”

“We did not ‘blow it up’! And we were trying to find out if Rade could cook!” Cadence said.

“And I can’t! It was a successful experiment!”

“Half the kitchen caught on fire!”

“Ah!” I said putting my hoof in the air with a smile on my face. “But not the WHOLE kitchen!” Willow face hoofed.

“How about putting itching powder in the desk of every noble during the last legislative meeting?!”

“That situation was thoroughly investigated and the culprit was never found!”

“Yeah, Candy and I were pronounced innocent!”

“You paid off the guards!” We gasped.

“We did not!”

“I SAW YOU!”

“BLASPHEMY!” We shouted.

“What about the day you destroyed a candy factory?!” Cadence snorted.

“It wasn’t a REAL candy factory. They didn’t even make bonbons!”

“And I told you it was that chubby unicorn guy who clogged up the chocolate fountain, not me!”

“The two of you were supposed to be at a wedding!”

“Pfft, probably wasn’t anypony important.” Cadence replied.

“It was the firstborn son’s of the oldest noble house in the Crystal Empire!”

“Like she said, nopony important.” Cadence and I shared an epic hoof bump.

“You tainted the city’s water supply with CONCENTRATED POISON JOKE!”

“It was an honest accident!” Cadence cried.

“Yeah! It wasn’t our fault somepony didn’t put a warning label on the palace sinks!”

“You caused so much mass hysteria that DISCORD HIMSELF JOINED IN ON THE FUN!”

“I do miss those cotton candy clouds of his…” Cadence said whimsically.

“Only because he made you a personal one that rained bonbons.” I giggled.

Willow was rubbing her temples at this point, her brow creased in frustration. Cadence and I couldn’t help but giggle wildly. Okay, so MAYBE we enjoy our pranks a little too much. It’s alright though because Discord fixed everything and gave us stern talking to about not creating that amount of chaos on such a huge scale.

Without him at least.

The nobles also felt fit to pass legislation to keep us from pulling anymore stunts. Except on Willow. The law can go screw itself when it comes to Willow. We WILL get her. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow. BUT ONE DAY.

“Alright,” I said once we’d managed to calm down. “So all Cadence and I have to do is not destroy everything for a few days. That sounds easy since I’m in a hospital bed and can’t move due to this full body cast. No problems!”

“Yeah Willow, we’ll be on our best behavior. What could possibly go wrong?” Cadence said with a smile. Willow just shook her head, her face filled with a look of dread as she folded her hooves together, sending a silent prayer to whomever would listen.

Author's Notes:

I... apologize for the quality of this chapter. I had about three different ways I wanted this to go and just couldn't decide. With the way the story needs to go I just couldn't figure out a way to put in this third chapter without quite a bit of crack comedy. Which in this stories defense was how it was originally supposed to be. A crack romantic slice of life comedy. It just ended up taking a more serious role as the story unfolded in my head. And so I'm going to try balancing out the comedic and serious aspects from here on out. It may take a bit as that kind of balance can be hard to achieve so please be patient while I try to get it sorted out.

Finally... thank you. Thank you OH SO MUCH! You have no idea how happy I am! I'm sitting here looking at this story and it already has well over 600 views, 59 likes at the moment of me typing this, and who knows how many favorites! You're all loving what I write and I feel obliged to dish out more so stay tuned!

Shattered

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“YOU BROKE THE CRYSTAL HEART?!?!?!” Twilight shouted. We were sitting in the throne room. Several days had passed, I was fully healed, and both Twilight and Willow were standing in front of us scolding us like children… again. The Crystal Empire was panicking, the other elements were on their way. Basically all hell had broken loose. It was really annoying because things had been going great the past couple of days. Everyone was being friendly and kind, I was getting on Twilights good side… sort of, the crystal ponies weren’t living in fear of our antics. Life was good.

And then I got out of the infirmary.

“We don’t know what went wrong!” We said.

“Twily, it was a routine check up on the heart. I used to do it with Shiny every month!” I could see Twilights expression falter a bit at the mention of her brother. For a moment she seemed miserable, then in a flash it turned to anger. No, not anger. It was pure, unfiltered RAGE. And it was being directed to both Cadence and I. For a brief second and for some reason unknown to me, she wanted us to HURT, and badly at that. Unfortunately nopony else seemed to notice so I just went along with the conversation already at hand.

“Yeah we weren’t even goofing around this time! All I did was stand there! Nothing else!” It was the truth too. Cadence and I might like screwing around a lot (which honestly we mostly do to help her forget about her husband), but even we’re not dumb enough to go playing with the crystal heart like it’s a toy. I was standing on the sidelines while Cadence held her horn against the stone performing a scan to make sure nopony had messed with it. Everything was going fine until the thing just… shattered. Cadence and I just stood their dumbstruck while numerous crystal guards rushed over. And of course our bad reputation led some to believe that we had been goofing off again. Now the entire city’s covered in snow and Tartarus is starting to look like a nice vacation spot.

All of this before breakfast. Wow my day sucks.

“Somehow I find that very hard to believe.” Twilight said through clenched teeth. She closed her eyes, letting out an exasperated sigh. “Look, will the two of you just… go?”

“Um… where to, if I might ask?” I said annnnnd there’s the death glare.

“I don’t know you’re room or… something! Just get out of my sight.”

“Alright, we can handle that. Come on Rade.” Cadence stood up gesturing me to follow her. Under other circumstances I’d probably be more upset about being set to my room like I’m some kind of kid. Still though, I wanted to be on good terms with Twilight. Having her angry at me, for whatever reason, was no doubt hurting Cadence and that was the last thing I wanted. So before leaving I turned around calling out her name.

“Twi- no. Princess Twilight!” Twilight let out an angry huff of air as she turned towards me glaring. Cadence just looked at me worriedly while Willow was just curious.

“What do you want Mr. Radiance?”

“Princess, I know you’re angry at me-”

“Gee really?” I bit back the urge to glare at her in return.

“And while I don’t really understand the reason why, I want you to know that whatever I did, I’m sorry. I’m not sure what I’ve done to hurt you, but if you’re ever able to tell me in a way that I can understand, then please do. I would be more than happy to take responsibility for my actions and work as hard as I possibly can to earn your forgiveness if for no other reason than because it’s the right thing to do.” Twilight continued to give me a death glare before pulling her eyes away and looking at the ground in thought. When she finally faced me again her gaze seemed to soften a bit. Not much, but a little.

“I’ll… think about that. Now go. I have a lot of work to do.”

With that said I bowed my head and turned back to Cadence, who was looking at me with what I could only guess was appreciation, and maybe a bit of pride as well. Although as we walked down the hallway I couldn’t help but grumble and whine a little. “I can’t believe we’re being sent back to our rooms like we’re school children.”

“Well at the moment she holds that kind of authority.” I stared at her wide eyed.

“Wait, seriously?”

“Yeah. Normally the order of power goes Celestia, Luna, me and then Twilight. But whenever a sudden national emergency occurs that’s too big for the guard to handle, Twilight suddenly outranks everypony but Celestia. After she assesses the situation, she sends a report to Celestia and we determine whether or not she needs to remain on the job, or if it needs to go to somepony else.”

“Whoa. I always wondered what she did as a princess. Wait so what would qualify you being put in charge of the problem?”

“It would have to be something domestic related on a wide scale. Such as riots caused by cultural differences, or critically important trade routes being suddenly shut down by another country. If it’s a single big magical threat then Twilight remains in charge such as fighting Sombra or something like that. If it’s a threat to all of Equestria and Twilight and her friends are obviously incapable of taking them on, then Celestia takes charge. Nopony ever wants something that dangerous to happen.”

“So wait, who gets control when a war breaks out?”

“Well if that happens, then Luna fights side by side with the troops as the on field commander. She, however, must take orders from… somepony else.”

“Who on Equus can give Luna orders?”

“You… wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

“I’m a pretty open minded guy Candy.”

“Blueblood.”

“Not that open minded. Now seriously, who is it?”

“I AM being serious. You’ve seen Bluebloods cutie mark right?”

“Who hasn’t? It’s on the cover of every magazine in existence, along with the rest of him.” I said irritably.

“Right and what’s it a mark of?”

“A compass rose.”

“Exactly. Now tell me, what must his special talent involve.”

“Well… the most obvious thing would be maps.”

“Well yes, but to be more specific his special talent is strategy. He has a photographic memory and can remember where anything is at any given time. He can look at circumstances and calculate what’s going to happen next. How well equipped is the enemy? Where are they currently positioned? What’s the terrain like? What’s the condition of our own troops? In war he takes all of that, puts a few chess pieces on a map, and carefully plans out the best possible strategy. He’s a MASTER tactician. Celestia even says he’s the best she’s ever had.”

“But that… that’s impossible! This is BLUEBLOOD we’re talking about! There’s no way a pony with that kind of behavior could be a master tactician!”

“Ah but his behavior in and of itself is part of his ruse. With Luna on the battlefield, most would assume it was her calling the shots, and if not her then one of the other princesses. Nopony would EVER expect weak, pitiful, momma’s boy Blueblood to be leading an army.”

“There’s no way that would work!” I said as Cadence and I stopped at the door to her room. She pushed it open slightly before turning her head back to me and giving me a sly smile.

“It worked on you, didn’t it?” All I could do was just stare at her wide eyed as my mouth moved up and down, looking for a way to respond. Suddenly the whole of what she said hit me like a ton of bricks. Blueblood was Equestria’s greatest military tactician… and I was not sure how I felt about that.

While I stood there dumbfounded, she walked over to her bed and laid down looking at me expectantly. Snapping my self back into reality I walked over just sat in front of it, staring mindlessly at the wall as I thought about everything that had happened since I came here.

It wasn’t like I WANTED to keep getting Cadence in trouble, I was only trying to make her happy.

“What’s the matter Rade?” she asked. I tried to force a look of oblivious curiosity as I turned to face her. Cadence looked depressed, but not the end of the world kind of depressed she seemed to be whenever she thought of her husband. No she was definitely the screw-this-crap-I’m-tired-of-this-bull kind of depressed and that was definitely a step up.

“Hm? Nothings the matter, why do you ask?” Now I wouldn’t say I’m the greatest liar in the world, but I’m definitely no amateur. Anyone who plays the political game has to have some efficiency at lying without getting caught. But Cadence can see straight through me.

“Don’t give me that. I know something’s upsetting you. It has been for a while. I haven’t said anything because I figured you would tell me on your own but… well it doesn’t really look like that’s going to happen. Please, tell me what’s wrong.”

I sighed. Can’t hide anything from her I suppose. “I’m sorry Cadence…”

“Sorry? For what?” I sighed again, looking away from her.

“It’s just, ever since I arrived here I’ve caused you nothing but trouble. I’m glad that you’re happy and all. That’s what I want you to be and it’s the reason you made me your consort, but I can’t help feeling that I’m getting a bit too much in your way. Sometimes I wonder if…”

“If what?” I heard her ask, her voice cracking a little.

“If… maybe I should go? I mean, my memories aren’t returning to me at all. If I leave and go see more, then maybe something will trigger and- Umf!” I stopped mid sentence as I felt a pair of hooves suddenly wrap around my torso and pull me into the side of the bed. I turned my head to find a teary eyed Cadence staring back at me.

“Don’t go… please don’t go…” She whimpered. Suddenly I felt very guilty, like I’d just kicked a puppy. A very cute, very adorable puppy with bubblegum pink fur that smelled of honey and cinnamon. “Rade, I… I won’t lie. You HAVE been getting in the way of my royal duties… but that’s what I WANT. I don’t want to rule an empire! Not… not alone anyways. I never wanted any of this! Shining was the one who took care of everything… he’s the one who dealt with the nobles! He’s the one who dealt with the laws! I was never anything more than a figurehead! Now that he’s gone I… I…” Cadence broke down crying, pushing her face into my neck and nuzzling me. I felt my body trembling. Half because of my fondness of her, and the other half due to my anger towards myself. At this point in my life, Cadence was all I had. Leaving her alone to deal with all of this by herself would just be selfish and cruel.

I wrapped my own hooves around her, gently stroking her mane as I closed my eyes and hummed. I didn’t really pay attention to what it was I was humming for a few seconds, until I realized it was the song she and Shining made. “I’m sorry Cadence. It was just a thought, nothing more. I’m not going anywhere I promise.” I could hear her sobbing turn to light sniffles as she looked up at me.

“You Pinkie promise?” I smiled.

“Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” I whispered softly.

She wrapped me in yet another big hug, nuzzling my neck like she’d done before. “Thank you Rade… when Shining died… he left a big hole in my heart… but you… you’ve really helped to fill it back up.” I smiled, my heart swelling with more than it’s fair share of pride. I don’t think anything can make a pony happier than healing a broken heart.

“You’re welcome Cadence.” We sat like that for a while until the floor got uncomfortable for me. Then I hopped up onto the bed and sat beside her. We talked for a bit, normally about random pointless mumbo jumbo. Occasionally she’d ask for my advice on some piece of legislation or how to deal with some noble who was giving her a problem, but for the most part we just did what we always did. Chilled.

Eventually our conversation died down and we ended up just relaxing on the bed, not really doing anything. Over the course of the next hour or so I found myself drifting in and out of sleep. While my body was healed, I was more than a little exhausted. Magical potion or not, the body isn’t meant to heal that way that quickly and it took a lot out of me. According to Willow I was going to feel like I was ‘recovering after drinking a barrel of Appleoosa’s finest’ every day for a week. Just as I was about to nod off for good, Cadence spoke up.

“Hey Rade?”

“Yuh?” I replied sleepily.

“Can… can I ask you to do something for me?”

“Depends. What is it?”

“It’s ah… it’s a bit… personal…”

“I can’t give you an answer unless you ask, Cadence.” She looked away sheepishly for a few seconds before turning her head quickly back to me. Was she… was she blushing?

“Could… could you preen my wings?” I tilted my head a little to the side at that. Honestly I didn’t have any issues with that. Don’t get me wrong, I completely understand the cultural significance but… well it’s one of those things that just doesn’t really affect you unless you’re able to experience it. I don’t have wings, so I personally can’t directly understand what it means to have somepony preen my wings. Now if somepony wanted to touch my horn, or rather what’s LEFT of my horn, then we’d have some issues. But to me, wings are wings and even though I understand it’s a big deal, it just doesn’t seem to click for me.

“Sure I don’t mind.” Cadences eyes grew wide and her blush deepened.

“R-really?”

“Yeah it’s no problem. Though I have no idea whether I’ll be any good at it or not.” She unfurled left wing, letting it sit gently on the bed.

“Don’t worry. If you have any issues I’ll let you know and guide you through it.” I nodded my head, looking down at the wing before me. Suddenly, like many other times over the past month, an instinct took over and I quickly got to work.

As I moved my muzzle around, pulling out damaged feathers and readjusting ones that were just out of place I could hear the occasional soft moan or giggle coming from Cadence. Now for most stallions that might be rather exciting. Listening to her squeak as I moved my head through what was easily one of the most sensitive spots on her body would be enough to make most stallions very very happy in certain very special ways.

I am apparently like most stallions. Damn you majority.

As she shifted onto her back raising her right wing up to me so I could get to it, I fought desperately to hide my blush. Pushing my muzzle as far into her wing as I could without actually harming her or hindering my progress. Unfortunately this did not have the intended effect I desired, as the extra pressure only served to increase the intensity and the frequency of her squeals. Suddenly she opened her eyes and looked at mine, her eyes widening when she must have noticed the blush on my face. Then suddenly her face twisted into a devious smile, her eyes catching that little glint of evil I both loved and loathed. Next thing I knew she had taken her wing out of my mouth and let it fall onto the bed I looked at her confused until her hoof hit the back of my head, causing me to lose my balance and fall across her stomach so that we were shaped like a big ‘+’ on the bed. My blush deepened further as she lifted her wing once more, showing that she wanted me to finish preening it while I was laying on top of her. I glared at her in aggravation.

Fine she wanted to play this game, I could play this game. It wouldn’t be the first time she’s put me in a position like this. I continued with the preening, but now I had ulterior motives. Rather than pulling the crooked feathers back into place with my teeth, I began pushing them with my tongue instead. Whenever I removed a damaged feather, I’d immediately nibble the area where it had been pulled out. I wasn’t sure how I knew, but something in the back of my mind told me that the moment a feather was removed, that area becomes extremely sensitive for just a moment or so.

Now don’t get me wrong. Yes, this would normally be what some would call an incredibly sexually intimate situation, but it’s really not. Cadence and I really don’t have much aside from each other at the moment and as a result we have forged a VERY close bond in a very short amount of time. Being another ponies sole reason for sticking on Fausts green Equus will do that to you.

And besides… she’d never see me that way.

Not after Shining………

Damnit… why does my chest hurt?

Anyways I continued preening her wings like this for sometime. Even continuing to mess with her after I was already done, though I wasn’t being nearly as serious about it as I was before. Eventually the pace at which I had been preening her all but ground to a stop as I went from preening to a soft, gentle but constant nuzzle. I could feel Cadences chest rise and fall ever so slowly and I looked over to sneak a peak at her head, smiling to myself when I saw that she’d drifted to sleep. I continued to lay there, comfortable and content as waves of exhaustion caused by the medication began rolling over me. For a moment or two I fought the urge to go to sleep as I put up a less than real struggle to keep my eyes open. Finally though I just couldn’t fight it any longer, and just like her I drifted into the world of dreams.

***

As I walked down the dark stone hallway, I can easily say I was more than a little bit frustrated.
Master Clover had been teaching me a particularly difficult spell for months, the teleportation spell. One of the greatest spells ever invented by his teacher Starswirl, and I was within mere moments of finally achieving it when my concentration was interrupted by one of princess Platinums guards. As frustrated as I was however, I couldn’t bring myself to actually feel angry towards the princess. Whatever it was she had called me for must have been important as she would never DARE to interrupt my lessons unless it was an absolute emergency.

As I came to the end of the hall, I was met by a large pair of double stone doors upon which was engraved a picture of hundreds of unicorns working together to raise the sun and the moon. I gave the door three sharp rasps and waited for her call.

“Enter.” she said, and I pushed the door inward to find myself in her personal chambers. It was a medium sized room, by palace standards of course. Bookshelves filled with ancient and powerful tomes, as well as the occasional raunchy romance novel, lined the walls. Several tables stood beside them littered with alchemical equipment and all sorts of various ingredients and well documented notes. A bright green curtain flowed gently from the simple night breeze that flew in from the open window.

Princess Platinum sat quietly behind her main desk, reading what seemed to be a recently made tome. I couldn’t discern anything of the books genre from the title, though if the blush on her ladies face was anything to go by, I’d hazard a guess at something of a more adult nature.

She closed her book and set it down before looking at me with her brilliantly blue eyes, her mouth upturned as she caught sight of me. I smiled at the familiar sight, her coat so light a gray it was almost white mixed perfectly with her brilliant golden mane. Her royal purple robe clung to her tightly, as her crown sat slightly lopsided on her head having awkwardly grazed her horn.

“Rade, thou knows there is no need to knock upon mine door. Thou are like a son to me, and are welcome in my presence anytime.”

“And thou is like a mother to me, but no matter the griefs of our hearts we must respect the order of our world. And so I will continue to show proper respect as is due your position.” Platinum sighed. I guess I couldn’t blame her. She really did mean a lot to me, and I cared for her deeply since the day she and master Clover took me in. Of course that would not be the tale you were told if you asked others. Much of the populace believed I was actually Clovers and Platinums secret love child and that they were keeping my true identity a hidden to preserve the princesses right to rule, and if it weren’t for the fact that I was the one the rumors were about, I’d be inclined to believe them as well. Truth be told I looked remarkably like Clover and bore many of the princesses traits as well.

“Hark, Rade, for I need thy assistance. The tribes of earth and sky hath come together with us in unity and we hast thus learn'd much of our differences. Howev'r while thou, I, and the other members of higher order consider our races gentle, the ingraft ponies doth not share in our beliefs. The closely guarded secrets of how our charm is woven hath been laid bare for their eyes. With our limits bewrayed they believe themselves strong enough to compass our downfall.”

She stood up from her seat, a pained expression on her face as she walked over to the window, gazing at the night sky. I smiled as I saw the stars twinkling. They were a new addition, a phenomenon that had been taking place over the past several months that nopony anywhere could understand. It boggled the mind of even the greatest of unicorns scholars… save for myself of course. I knew of their origin… but I would die before I told. Platinum knew as well and like me she kept her mouth sealed as she gazed at the new, but welcome, sight. “In a fortnight thither be a ceremony of sorts, to endue our tribes closer. However, the commoners will see little more than a show of strength. Since they understand how few in number art the unicorns, coupled with only a bawbling level of magical capability and higher technology, simply raising the travelling lamp will mean nothing now. And so, in our hour of need, my hoof hath been forced and I must gamble with a hand I swore never to play and summoned thee.”

She looked down, her expression more pained that I had ever seen it before as she looked at me. “Rade, I apologize for doing this to thee, but I hast nay a single say in the matter. For the safety of our people, I wilt ask thou to perform the action that first caught the attentions of thy master, Clover, and myself. I must ask thou. . . to raise Fausts light on thy own.”

***

My dreams were abruptly interrupted as I woke up to a lot of screaming and shouting. Lifting my head up groggily I tried opening my eyes as I shook the sleep away, and was met with a nice flash of lavender to my face. Flying backwards I slammed into the wall behind Cadences bed, pain wracking my body as I tried to force myself back up. Suddenly I heard a sharp ping, the unmistakable sound of a spell being fired and once again I was hit with a blast of magic. This time though I kept my wits forcing my eyes open.

Twilight was standing in the middle of the room just barely being held back by a crying and screaming Cadence as well as several crystal guards. I watched as she once again began charging up another spell.

“RADE! RUN!” Cadence called, but it was too late. Twilights spell fired, and this one was STRONG. I knew immediately that there was no way I could dodge it so on instinct I tried to summon up a barrier. I closed my eyes, digging deep into my magic reserves and against my better judgment summoned up as much of it as I could in an instant and urging it to take the shape of a barrier.

Before I could attempt to release the built up magic however, I heard the distinct sound of magic being deflected, like a dull sword hitting a well maintained shield. Opening my eyes, I was surprised to find myself incased in a clear blue bubble. I looked ahead and found that Twilight was now being properly subdued by the guards and the glow from Candence’s horn was beginning to recede alongside the barrier.

I gave Cadence a nod as I let my magic simmer back down before it could cause me any pain. I looked back over to Twilight who was still trying her hardest to attack me, tears streaming down her face as she screamed and wailed. Now that my panic was over and my adrenaline wasn’t pumping anymore, I could finally hear what she yelling about.

“DAMN YOU TO TARTARUS YOU BASTARD! YOU WON’T REPLACE HIM! YOU CAN’T! HE’S MY BIG BROTHER! MY ONLY BROTHER! YOU CAN’T JUST WALTZ IN AND STEAL HIS LIFE! I WON’T LET YOU! DO YOU HEAR ME?! I WON’T LET YOU!”

Finally everything clicked into place. I looked at Cadence with sorrow in my eyes and I could see she had come to the same realization I did. Twilight wasn’t angry at me because she thought I was hurting Cadence. She was angry because she felt I was taking her big brothers place.

Author's Notes:

Now I know that not everyone can understand old pony talk as easily as others. So for those of you struggling to figure out what Princess Platinum said in this chapter, Here's a translation! :D

Listen Rade I need your help. The earth ponies, unicorns and pegasi are working together now and we've learned alot about each other. However, while all the royalty and nobles are on good terms, most of our citizens still hate each others guts. What's more they finally understand just how our magic works and now the earth ponies and pegasi think they can kick our flanks into next week.
In about two weeks there will be a ceremony to try and bring everypony closer together. Unfortunately, most of them are going to see it as a chance to show off how great their tribe is. Since they know there aren't as many unicorns and that we aren't quite as far ahead magically and technologically as they thought, simply raising the sun isn't going to impress them anymore. So, and I'm so so sorry for this. I know I promised I would never do this to you but if we won't to keep away from war I really don't have a choice. Rade I need you to do what caused you to catch Clover's and I's attention in the first place. I need you to raise the sun... by yourself.

Also this is what I think Clover and Platinum look like.

Throw in some red where the purple is on Clovers mane and you more or less have Radiance

Return of Light

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“So… what’s the sitch?” I asked. Cadence and I were sitting in a room filled with numerous nobles and high ranking members of the guard. Since Twilight was… indisposed at the moment, the situation was turned back into the hooves of my good friend Cadence. Everypony in the room turned their heads towards me before letting out a sigh simultaneously and shaking their heads. Wow, I really have an effect on ponies.

“Really Master Radiance? Quoting childrens story book characters at a time like this?” Ancient Scroll asked.

“Hey,” I said raising my hoof and pointing it at the snooty noble. “Kimmy is a wonderful brown and yellow maned blue pegasus mare who saves the world on a daily basis with her super martial arts skills, idiot sidekick love interest, and awesome fat nerd pony buddy. There is ALWAYS time for Kimmy.” And face hooves all around. Except Cadence who just shook her head.

“Master Radiance!” One of the generals shouted. “The Crystal Heart has been shattered, one of the princesses is in hysterics in her room, the entire empire is covered in snow, and your sitting here making jokes about childrens books!”

I glared at the stallion. I’m a fun loving guy, but now it was time to introduce them to a side I didn’t even know I possessed until now. I wasn’t playing games anymore, the situation was too serious for that. I came here to stop the politics and get stuff done, and that’s what I was going to do. “Gee I wonder why? Oh yeah, maybe it’s because you’ve spent the past three hours sitting here arguing over whose fault it is, instead of FIXING THE DAMN PROBLEM!” I shouted slamming my hoof on the table. They’d been in this room for well over three hours, and so far nothing had been achieved. I was just a consort so technically I didn’t have any sort of authority here and had thus been sitting in my room diddling around until finally a guard came and ordered me to follow him. Cadence hadn’t been able to get a handle on the situation at all and since nothing was being accomplished she decided to call me in hoping that maybe I could get something done.

“Well then Master Radiance if you have a solution then by all means tell us.”

“Before I do that I need all the facts. You there,” I said pointing to a young guard. She was obviously a newbie given how badly her legs were shaking. She had a light brown coat with a short light brown mane. Even though she was a guard she was wearing glasses. Everything about her just screamed nerd, not that that’s a bad thing mind you. “You look smart. What’s your name?”

“S-S-S-Smart Cookie sir!” She said with a salute.

“Smart Cookie? That’s a good name, a famous name. One of the founders of Equestria if I’m not mistaken. Now’s the time to live up to that name. Describe our situation to the best of your knowledge.”

“Sir w-we have a-analysts for that.”

“I’m not asking the analysts. I’m asking you.”

“W-why?”

“Because the analysts have been sitting in this room for three hours and have accomplished nothing so they’re obviously incompetent and I can’t trust what they say. I need a pony who hasn’t been talking really loud and saying nothing at all for three hours to explain what’s going on.”

Smart Cookie looked a little scared, her eyes darting all across the room as she tried to figure out what to do. Finally her eyes landed on Cadence, who gave her a gentle look and a nod of encouragement. With a deep breath, Smart Cookie steeled her nerves and answered my question.

“The Crystal Heart has been shattered sir, cutting off the climate controls and engulfing all of the crystal empire in a harsh blizzard. Many ponies are hold up inside of their homes, however it’s dangerous for them to stay there as they’re homes aren’t built to deal with the tundra’s harsh winters. The blizzard outside is also growing in strength with no signs of letting up anytime soon. Princess Twilight has had one of her famous nervous breakdowns upon witnessing you and princess Cadence doing the do-”

“We. Did. Not. Do. The. Do.” Cadence and I said, our voices filled with ice. Smart Cookie, along with everyone else, coward for a moment beneath our gaze.

“I’m sorry… snuggling then. You were snuggling!” Cadence and I gave her a slight nod as we returned back to our usual cheerful selves, urging her to go on. “Anyhow, since then princess Twilight returned to her room and refuses to speak to anypony. As for the rest of the Mane Six,” The whole room groaned, me included. Ever since Twilight and her friends gave up the elements Celestia decided they needed a new name. Did you know Celestia’s the one who’s named almost every major city in Equestria? Really they should stop letting her do that. “They’re still onboard the train headed here to the empire. According to our predictions they should arrive just fine, but afterwards the storm will be to intense to use the train again, meaning no way home or out.”

I sat down and folded my hooves across my chest as I began to think. The situation was bad, but not necessarily dire. We… no I could handle this. “First things first and that’s the citizens safety. Ancient Scroll, the homes of the nobles should be good enough to handle the tundras right?”

“Are you asking me if we can house all of the Crystal Empire?” he said. He tried to make his tone sound curious, but it was obvious he was outraged by that notion. Although as much as it would please me to do just that, I had other plans.

“Yes and no. If you would be willing to pack as many noble families into a single house as you can, then we can have some of the ponies live in what would then be empty homes. The rest can live here inside the palace until we get this sorted out. Don’t worry, we’ll station guards there to make sure they don’t make a mess of your belongings. Is that agreeable?” Ancient Scroll rubbed his chin in thought, before turning to the other nobles and quickly whispering a hushed conversation. He turned back to me, letting out a sigh as he spoke.

“I’ll be honest, I’m a noble. That means tend to be… less that agreeable.” Half the room snickered at this, earning more than a few glares from the noble houses, yet Ancient Scroll continued on unperturbed. “However, I’ve seen what you’re capable of over the past month and to be completely honest, while you’re nowhere near the level of competency needed for to run this empire, you’re appearance has allowed the empire to pick up the small slack it’s gained since the loss of the prince. While you’re nothing more than a consort, having a stallion to properly keep Cadence in her place has done us more than a little bit of good.” I almost visibly cringed at that, and had to fight hard not to hit him in the face with my hoof. I knew that the crystal empire came from a different time, more specifically a time when mares were considered… lesser than stallions, but hearing another pony speak that way about Cadence, or any mare for that matter, made my blood boil. Still though, I was on Ancient Scrolls good side and if I called him out on it, Those poor ponies might lose shelter, so I held my tongue. “So I guess as long as we don’t have to share rooms with the commoners I’m sure we can find that most agreeable. However any damages to our homes we expect to be paid for in full once this is over.”

I nodded my head. “Of course.” I hope they break a lot of stuff because I’m going to hit you once for every bit we have to fork over. “General take all the guards outside and order an evacuation. We’re going to place as many ponies here inside the palace as possible while the nobles clear out their homes. That’s all for you right now. You and the Nobles are dismissed.” I said with a wave of my hoof.

“Excuse me? I don’t take orders from a CONSO-”

“Do as he says.” Cadence interrupted.

“But… princess!”

“AS OF NOW RADES WORD IS MY OWN!” Cadence shouted. The general glared at her for several seconds before taking in a breath to calm himself down and started muttering incoherently as he walked out the door alongside the nobles. That left only me, Cadence, a few random soldiers and advisors, Smart Cookie, and the new Captain of the Royal Guard who, since my entrance, had remained silent. I took this opportunity to size her up. She was a female pegasus with blue mane and a pure yellow coat. Her mane and tail were long, with a lot of volume and a bit of poof. If it weren’t for the cold gaze coming from her gray eyes I would have called her rather pretty. She wore the purple armor of the Captain. I was surprised when she suddenly spoke up.

“So, you’re the consort that’s got Equestria all in a tizzy? Huh, you’re nothing like what I expected you to be.” Wow… her voice was REALLY high pitched. Kind of like a little filly. It’s amazing anypony found her intimidating.

“You must be Captain Sunburst, but that’s not important right now. Okay next up on the list is dealing with Twilight. Honestly, there’s nothing we can say or do at the moment to help her, so we’ll just let her friends handle that when they get here. That just leaves the Crystal Heart suddenly Shattering. Do we know anything about that?”

The analysts and guards all looked around speaking to each other. Finally one of the analysts turned back to me and spoke. “Uh… we haven’t had a chance to look at the heart due to this meeting.” I face hoofed. Of course they hadn’t. Whole world getting turned upside down and they don’t even think to look at the thing that could fix it all.

“Figures. Get on that. NOW. As for you Captain, the same pertains. Figure out who can help with the relief efforts and who can help take a look at the Crystal heart. When you get the chance, inform everypony that the castle is now free roam for everyone barring the top two floors, kitchens, and armory. Smart Cookie.” The newbie suddenly stood at attention and saluted. “You’re coming with Cadence and I. All right everypony those are your orders. Dismissed.” Sunburst nodded her head and began yelling at her troops to do as they were told. As the doors closed I sat down, letting my head hit the table as my body caught up with my brain. Damn those meds making me so exhausted all the time…

“Wow Rade… ten minutes in here and you’ve already cleared out the room. I really wish I had called for you sooner.”

“Eh, no biggie.”

“U-um… princess… Master Rade… um… why exactly… am I here?” Both Candy and I turned our heads towards the new guard who was quivering in her boots. And that was a wonderfully good question. I’m not exactly sure WHY I had asked her to stay behind, I just did. Lacking a legitimate answer, I decided to mess with her instead.

“Oh don’t you know? I’m the princesses consort. And the princess has been looking for a suitable… partner to join in on our fun. She also happens to have a thing for mares with glasses and is a bit of a history buff.” Oh wow! I didn’t know a ponies eyes could get that big! And look at that blush! If she’s not careful her heads going to explode from all the blood rushing to it! I started laughing only to wind up getting hit in the head by Cadence.

“Stop it Rade! You’re terrifying her!” She turned her head to Smart Cookie and gave her a gentle smile. “Oh darling don’t be upset. Rades just a little tired and he gets particularly ruthless with his pranks and jokes when he’s exhausted.” She said shooting a glare my way.

“I do *yawn* not!”

“Yes you do Rade.”

“No I don’t Candy!”

“Yes you do!”

“Do not!”

“Do too!”

“Do not!”

“Do too!”

“Do not!”

“Do too!”

“Excuse me…”

“WHAT?!” Cadence and I screamed in unison. We were right in each others faces at this point.

“Um… are you sure you two didn’t… do the do?”

“YES!”

“Really? Because you’re not acting like it.”

“We did NOT do the do!” I said.

“We didn’t dance the Sideways Tango!” Cadence added.

“We didn’t perform the Pelvic Shuffle!”

“Or the Sweaty Somba!”

“Or the Rut Strut!”

“The Fifth Hoof Bang!”

“The Electric Smut!”

“The Marecarena!”

“The Thrill-her!”

“The Rut-It Style!”

“The Horizontal Boogie!”

“The Mattress Mambo!”

“The Beaver Chase!”

“The Shnu Shnu!”

“The Bump n’ Grind!”

“The Bologna Pony!

“OR ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANT TO CALL IT!” We shouted. Smart Cookie just looked back and forth between the two of us, all her previous nervousness and fear gone as she just held up an eyebrow curiously.

“If you say so. So uh, back to my original question, why am I here and what do you want me to do? By the time she was done saying that she had gone back into her nervous state. Really this mare needs to figure out what her emotions want her to do. Is she terrified of us or does she think we’re a crazy couple that needs serious therapy?

“Well to be completely honest, I’m not sure. I just… didn’t feel like sending you away for whatever reason. I can send you outside to help the rest of the guard if you want?” She shook her head no vigorously. Yup, she’s a pencil pusher type of girl. Makes me wonder what she’s doing in the guard. “Alright well if that’s the case then just come with Cadence and I. In fact, now that I think about it, it’s actually good I asked you to stay. Now if something comes up, I have a messenger!” That seemed to get a smile out of her. Sending messages back and forth? That was definitely a job this earth pony was comfortable with doing.

“Well that’s well and good and all, but where are we going?” Candy asked.

“To the infirmary. I didn’t think about it while I we were working, but there’s bound to be some sick ponies and they’re all going to take advantage of this situation and hit up the royal infirmary since it’ll basically be free healthcare for a while. Willow’s going to be swamped with work. We need to warn her so she can get things set up before everypony piles into the palace. I DO NOT want to get scolded again. She may not be very loud, but her voice and eyes are like icy steel. She’s downright terrifying.” I said, a shiver running up and down my spine.

“Oh yeah, you’re right.” Cadence said with an equal shiver. “Come on let’s go.”

As we walked through the halls, or in my case trudged damn those meds, I allowed my mind to wander. I needed it to wander. If I kept it concentrated on one thing I’d probably fall asleep while walking. Unfortunately though, none of my thoughts were particularly pleasant. The Crystal Heart. Why did it shatter? The spell Cadence cast should have done nothing more than scan it. If it ran into anything that could be considered an issue, an alarm would have gone off and she would have stopped immediately before any damage could be done.

Of course on the other side, I was worried about the nature of the heart itself. Being as knowledgeable as I am with magic I wasn’t surprised when I first visited the library and found I had a love for reading. Yet all the information that they had on the Crystal Heart… well it didn’t add up to what was in my head. Obviously I don’t know where my knowledge comes from, so I have no idea if what I know is actually a reliable source, which is a bit disconcerting not being able to trust my own mind. Still however, my knowledge hasn’t led me astray so far. If such was the case, then using the Crystal Heart in the matter that they were seemed like… well like a dangerous and stupid thing to do. However, the knowledge in the book had been contributed by the princesses themselves, so I wasn’t about to argue it. I just assumed that what was in my head was either a theory or flat our wrong and nothing more.

We arrived at the infirmary a short while later and had a small discussion with Willow. Needless to say, she wasn’t too pleased. She called Morning Star over and the two began discussing what to do to get everything set up and ready. Cadence, Smart Cookie, and I just looked at each other awkwardly as they discussed, unsure of what to do next before Willow turned around and started yelling.

“WELL DON’T JUST STAND THERE GAWKING! GET TO WORK!” Next thing the three of us knew we were being forced to run around the room shifting beds and cabinets into different areas, pulling out medicine and medical equipment and arranging it in specific ways. We did this for about an hour at which point I asked Smart Cookie to run down to the captain and get a status report. After sending her out of the room, I heard Morning Star shout.

“GIRLS! CODE ZERO!” I had never actually heard Morning Stars voice well. I swear if I didn’t know better I would have thought she was a stallion with how rough and deep it was. To my even greater surprise the room was suddenly filled with twenty extra, completely identical nurses. After the initial shock I reeled backwards after getting a good look at them.

All of them, save for one, looked exactly like the small golden filly from my dream a month ago! Well… sort of. They looked like the golden filly but… older. Aside from that thought they looked exactly like… well like Ambrosia I guess. That was her name right? Ambrosia?

Then there was the last mare. This one was undoubtedly Cadence only… different. Not the bad kind of different, oh no definitely not. This Cadence was… well it was like she had spent hours and hours taking care of herself so that she looked the very best she possibly could. Her tri colored mane sparkled in the light, her coat had a beautiful shine like I had never seen before, and her eyes glimmered like diamonds. I noticed then that it wasn’t just their appearances that seemed to change, but they’re scent too. The smell of honey and cinnamon poured through the room making a mess of my senses and lulling me into a warm sense of security.

Suddenly I felt the energy leave my body as my legs buckled beneath me. In my daze I almost didn’t register a pair of hooves grabbing onto me, saving me from hitting the ground. I could hear voices in the background, but I tuned them out. My exhaustion was catching up with me and between the strange sight and smells I was too comfortable to care about what was happening. Slowly but surely, I drifted off into sleep.

***

“Brother this is a terrible idea.”

“Oh quiet Rade, thou would not know genius if it bit him in the flank.”

“I know this. Why dost thou think I courted Ambrosia? Aside from our love.”

“… thou makest a valid point. NONETHELESS there are times when even her wisdom fails.

“I doubt however that this is one of those times.”

“Be silent and help finish the incantation, less this charm will fail for sure regardless of our varying opinions.”

“Aye. At least that much is true Sombra.”

***

“Rade? Rade are you okay?” I could hear voices, but they seemed so distant. I could tell I hadn’t been out for more than a few minutes and had been having another dream but couldn’t quite remember it due to my awakening. I gave out an aggravated grumble as the voice continued to bother me. I had just learned something important, but couldn’t remember it for the life of me. All I wanted was to go back to the world of dreams so I could learn a little more.

Until a hoof slapped me in the face.

“OW! Hey what’s the big idea?!” I said, rubbing my cheek as I got a grasp of my surroundings. Cadence was holding me with a worried look while Willow stood over me with an annoyed expression before sighing and walking away.

“Sorry about that Rade.” She said. “I should have thought that through. The enchantments on these girls dresses were too strong and knocked you right the buck out.”

“Enchantments?”

She turned to look at me, pointing to the now completely different looking nurses over her shoulder with her hoof. “They’re outfits have a special enchantment on them that makes them appealing to those who look at them. Calms patients down and makes them easier to treat. Like if a child sees them they might see their mom or dad. If a grown stallion sees them he’ll probably see one of his wives or his wife if you’re into that sort of monogamous thing… or a crappy stallion who can’t get any.”

“Says the single mare…” I grumbled, still upset about being woken up with a hoof to the face. Really did she have to hit so hard? It almost felt like it was going to bruise. Of course the moment I said that Cadence followed up with a good whack of her own, so now both sides of my head hurt. These mares… they’ll be the death of me!

Wait… if what I saw was things that made me comfortable…

“OH CADENCE’S THRONE BREAKING BUTT-”

“STOP USING MY NAME TO CURSE! AND I ONLY BROKE IT ONE T-”

“ONE OF THEM LOOKED LIKE CANDY!”

Silence.

I looked around at all the stunned faces. “Did… did I say that out loud?” I was answered with lots of nodding heads and a few snickers from Willow. Great. Willow was going to hold this over my head for months. There was no coming back from this. I was doomed to bad puns and annoying jokes for a long time to come.

At least, that’s what I thought, until Cadence spoke up. “Hey it’s okay Rade. We are friends after all. If it’s any consolation, one of them looked like you to me. All the others looked like Shiny though…” She ended with a whisper and I felt sorry for her. Getting to my hooves I placed a hoof on her shoulder, waiting for her to cheer back up.

“Wait…” Willow said. “If only one of them looked like Cadence, who did the others look like?”

I froze. That was not a question I had been expecting, nor was it one I really wanted to answer. Not that I understood why. She was just a pegasus from one dream I had had and it more than likely meant nothing. But still… for some reason I couldn’t help but feel that it was something I should keep secret. Not because it was a secret that needed to be kept, but because it was something special and just for me. Still though, keeping quiet has never been good for anypony. So I decided to spill.

“They… looked like a pony from a dream I had. The one where I was talking in old equestrian. In it I was much younger, barely older than a colt and I lived in a house with pegasus filly about my age named Ambrosia. She was a golden crisp yellow, with a white mane she kept tied in a ponytail. I’m not sure but we seemed rather close. I can’t tell you if we were family, friends, or something more but what was weird was that I lived in a house that seemed to be from the time before Celestia and Luna’s reign. Back when the world was ruled by the three tribes. I had another dream like that earlier today when I fell asleep on top of Cadence, only I was being taught by Clover the Clever, and was then summoned by Princess Platinum, who asked me to raise the sun… by myself.”

The ponies in the room all looked at me with varying expressions ranging from surprise to disinterest. Cadence was the one to speak up. “So all the others looked like this… Ambrosia pony?” She asked. I looked at her nodding my head, surprised to see a frown on her face. In fact, now that I think about it, the way she asked seemed a little… hostile. I wonder what she’s upset about?

“Well that’s good to know. Once we get this mess sorted out we’ll have to start looking for her.” My mouth opened a bit. Why in the world would we go looking for a mare from somepony’s dream? That just sounds ridiculous.

“Uh, you do realize that she’s probably not real, right?” Willow just chuckled and shook her head.

“If these nurses can turn into her then she’s real. Or at least was at some point. The spell can’t replicate anything that never existed. Of course, she could be dead, or even look completely different from how you remember, but yes she’s real.” Well that was the most uplifting news I’d heard in a month. These dreams I had been having, they were at least SOMEWHAT related to reality, and that’s good enough for me.

“So…” Cadence said, snapping me out of my reverie. “Why did we call all of these nurses in here?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Willow replied. “We-”

“MASTER RADIANCE!” Everypony in the room whipped their heads around at the sound of the voice. Smart Cookie was standing in the doorway panting for breath. Suddenly she collapsed and I rushed over to her immediately and holding her in my hooves. I was shocked when my hooves felt something wet and warm on her back. Taking a look I reeled at the sight.

A massive gash had been cut in Smart Cookies armor just to the left of her spine. Shards of ice half a foot long and at least an inch thick stuck out of her in various spots. I looked over to Willow and shouted for her and her nurses assistance, but Smart Cookie waved for them to stop, grabbing onto my shoulder and looking me in the eyes.

“Town… square… overrun. Guards… fighting… losing… need… help. Fear… Winter…” That was all she managed to say before passing out. The gash in her back wasn’t deep, and the shards were keeping any blood from leaking out to badly, so she most likely passed out from shock or exhaustion. Either way it was obvious she wasn’t in any immediate danger. I passed her over to Willow before looking at Cadence and telling her to hurry on ahead. I told Morning Star to go get Twilight regardless of whether the mare wanted to or not before chasing after Cadence. I didn’t want to bother Twilight after what just happened… but this situation demanded our immediate attention.

As I raced through the halls I could hear thousands of screams pierce the air. I put all of my strength into my legs as I urged myself to run faster. Rounding a corner I burst through the doors of the throne room and into a sea of chaos.

I stood there, mouth agape at what I saw. Ponies ran about shrieking in terror as they were swarmed by countless numbers of Windigos. They flew overhead, dive bombing the crowd as they froze ponies in their places one after another. Shards of ice were shot from their wings, sending countless ponies to their doom and critically wounding others. The guards tried their best to fend off the attackers but they were hopelessly outnumbered. Cadence was already in there, almost frozen in fear and just barely managing to help mount a defense. Cadence was many things, but she was not a warrior. That’s why she handled civil issues. She wasn’t cut out for a fight.

With little regard for my own safety I jumped into the fray, calling upon instincts I knew not the source of to assist me as I forced my way through the crowd towards her. I did my best to assist the citizens as I ran. We had discovered over the past month that while I was far from a properly trained soldier, I definitely had at least SOME fighting experience. Nopony lasts a solid minute with the captain of the crystal guard without having at least a little training. As Windogos swooped down at me or those close by, I leapt through the air with all the grace of a screeching chicken thrown off a roof, tackling them before kicking their icy heads into the ground or back into the sky. Of course each attack generally had me running and screaming as several of that Windigos buddies started chasing me. What? I said I knew how to fight, not fight well.

Eventually I managed to get within earshot of Cadence. “CANDY!” I shouted. She blasted another Windigo causing it to explode in a flurry of snow before turning her head towards me and galloping my way at full speed.

“Rade, I’m so glad to see you! Please you have to help us! We keep attacking them but they just get back up like it’s nothing.” I looked behind her and sure enough, the Windigo that Cadence had attacked was quickly beginning to reform. The gears in my head were spinning at max speed, observing everything and pulling together all of the known facts as I tried to determine a way out of this mess.

Before I could think of anything though, tendrils of black ice started filling the doorway of the main entrance. Out of some unknown reflex I started barking orders. “ALL UNITS SURROUND THE PRINCESS! CANDY THROW UP A BARRIER AROUND US AND THE TROOPS!” Everypony followed my orders to the letter. Soon we found ourselves surrounded by two platoons worth of guards with a nice blue bubble around us.

As if on cue the moment we were surrounded by the barrier, a massive gust of wind surged through the doors freezing everything and everyone in blocks of ice, save for us. Realizing there was nothing left to fight, the windigos ceased their attack, turning their attention to the doorway instead.

A door to our left suddenly opened, revealing a wide eyed Twilight. “Windigos…” Twilight whispered. Yeah you’re a little late to the party there kiddo. I called out her name and gestured for her to quickly come over to us. The Windigos tried to attack her but she was smart enough to throw up a barrier before running over.

I watched as the Windigos continued to swirl through the air causing the already low temperature to drop. The crystal palace was enchanted with numerous heating spells in the event that the crystal heart should stop functioning for any reason, so it wasn’t quite freezing yet. But with these Windigos causing trouble like this it was only a matter of time before the enchantments wore off.

Suddenly the Windigos stopped completely, each one landing before gazing at the doorway with wrapped attention. Then the soft clip clop of hooves could be heard reverberating through the crystal structure, growing closer and closer. With each step, the black ice in the doorway continued to grow, slowly but surely eating its way into the rest of the hall. When the steps could grow no louder, we finally met the face of our adversary.

He strode in, head held high, his face betraying no hint of emotion, completely neutral to the events taking place around him. The windigos bowed as he walked, but he simply tilted his head into the air, signaling for them to continue their work. They did so without hesitation, picking the blizzard right back up where they left off. Finally he came to a stop, standing in the middle of the hall surrounded by the bodies of frozen soldiers and civillians. He was a black Windigo with six long legs and ethereal white eyes. He was easily three times the size of his kin and twice as tall as Celestia. A slightly lighter black vapor billowed from his back like smoke, forming a kind of cloak that seemed to flap slowly even in the whistling gale. Like so many other times over the passed month, an instinct took hold of me, pressing a single name to the front of my mind.

“Winter.” I said. Apparently loud enough for him to hear as he turned his attention towards us.

“Oh. It’s you.” His voice was deep and condescending, reminding me of a potions professor I met who visited from Celestia’s school for gifted unicorns. “Figures the princesses would show up… late.”

The way he said that bothered me and I had a sudden fear of getting detention. What am I, ten? Twilight and Cadence both winced at that, but I continued to stare him down. “What do you want Winter?”

He turned his head to me with a raised brow. “You know my name? Surprising. Nopony has seen me in well over a thousand years. It’s nice to see I haven’t been completely forgotten. No matter. I have halted your ‘evacuation’ and am now going to freeze this entire city completely over. It shall make a fine base for mother once I have killed off these dreadful ponies.”

“Mother?” I inquired.

“Yes. Mother. I do this at her behest for it is Mother who knows best.”

“But you’re Winter!” I said confused. “You’re the king of the Windigo’s! You don’t take orders from anypony!”

“You’re right. That is, until mother found me. She opened my eyes, showed me the truth. With mothers guidance I am stronger. With mothers advice I cannot fail. She lends me a guiding hoof and with it I shall help shape this world into her perfect desire.” Memories were resurfacing in my head. Short ones I couldn’t understand or even hold onto, but they told me enough to know that what I was listening to was completely insane. Something was wrong.

Unfortunately I didn’t have time to consider that. The storm was picking up more and more every second, Ice was beginning to form fast enough for me to watch it grow. I turned to Cadence who looked at me with fear in her eyes, completely unsure of what to do. Before I could think of anything Twilight spoke up first.

“Just who do you think you are?! I’ll have you know I’ve had a really crappy day and I’m not in the mood for any of this! You might be tough but you aren’t strong enough to take on two alicorns! Luna and Celestia beat you once! Cadence and I can do it again, even without the crystal heart!”

This seemed to get a reaction out of Winter, though not one I was expecting… or wanting. “What do you mean ‘without the crystal heart’?”

We all stared back at him, mouths agape. I recovered first, glaring at him. “Don’t play dumb you oversized ice cube! This is more than enough evidence to tell us that you were the one who tampered with the crystal heart!”

I stared him down for a few seconds more before a deep rumbling sounds came out of his chest. Was he… laughing? “The crystal heart is out of play is it? I assure you I had nothing to do with that, though it is quite nice to know. I did however, have something to do with this.” Winter sat down and put on of his six hooves in the air. Slowly but surely five large blocks of black ice appeared above him. I gasped as Twilight screamed and Cadence broke down in tears.

He had captured the other members of the Mane Six.

I stared at him in fury. There they were locked in their icy prisons, expressions of surprise and fear still plastered on their faces. He must have ambushed them while they were on the train. “I believe this will be enough to force you to back off? One step forward, and your friends will perish. Now, if you want them to live, you’ll hand your princesses over to us.” I quickly pulled both Twilight and Cadence behind me, much to Twilights protest.

“Not gonna happen! Besides, you’re going to freeze this whole place anyway! What would it matter if you released them?!”

“… you make a valid point. It seems my logic was a little flawed in this matter. Fine. Then I’ll just have to take them by force. Windigos!” he raised a hoof in the air and several dozen windigos flew down at us, leaving a literal flurry in their wake and breaking through Cadences shield. Twilight quickly put up a another shield but I knew it wouldn’t hold. She wasn’t her brother. Her shield spells just weren’t at that kind of caliber. Eventually she it would buckle and break and we’d be forced to repeat the cycle again. I started thinking quickly before an idea came to me.

“Cadence! I need you to shoot a blast of barrier magic into the ground! Not an actual barrier, just form the spell then merge it with the energy. Don’t complete the cast, just shoot it straight down into the ground!”

“Wha?! But-”

“JUST DO IT!” Cadence nodded her head quickly as I watched the ice begin creep up and over the barrier. The lavender dome began to quake and shake from the constant attacks by the Windigos. As cracks started to form I began to worry until Cadence shot the beam into the ground. Now it was just a waiting game to see if my theory was right.

Seconds passed like hours before anything happened, and then I saw it. The bright blue flashes of light that coursed through castle and the rest of the city. One after another they came pulsing quickly before fading away over and over again, like a heartbeat.

Finally the lights stopped blinking and formed one permanent shine, lighting up the whole city and blinding pony and windigo alike. While everypony else was covering their eyes I looked over to the guard captain and shouted her name.

“CAPTAIN SUBURST!”

“I’M ON IT!” Looks like she saw my plan ahead of time. While the lights were still blinding everypony, Sunburst dashed towards the former bearers at speeds that would make the Wonderbolts jealous. She grabbed each one placing them in the safety of our barrier before Winter even knew what happened. When the light finally died down Winter looked at us, his expression unchanged as he raised one of his hooves sending his windigos after us with a vengeance.

“CADENCE! BARRIER AROUND THE PALACE! PUSH THESE GUYS OUT OF HERE!” Though she was winded from her previous spell, she didn’t hesitate to do as I asked, and erected a large blue bubble around us forcing the Windigos and Winter back out as it came to a rest all around the palace. Seeing as how we were finally safe Twilight put hers down. Winter stood outside the palace, his expression wavering for just a moment turning into a deep frown as he turned around to look over the city. No doubt he had realized the other half of my trick. He turned back to the palace opening his mouth to speak as his voice boomed through the air.

“Do not think you have won. You have done nothing more than delay the inevitable. Your trick will last for twenty four hours at the most and the only one you have capable of erecting a barrier around the whole palace will run out of magic around the same time. Enjoy your final moments.” Icy black gales whipped up around him as he added his own power to that of his subordinates and continued covering the city in ice, but didn’t matter. We had won… for now.

Unfortunately, we didn’t even have a chance to catch our breath before our resident lavender demon was upon me.

“YOU! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!” she screamed as she pounced on top of me. Honestly I had expected this.

“Twilight please, now isn’t the time for this!” Cadence said.

“Don’t any of you see what he’s done?!” She screamed. “He saved us but what about the citizens! They’re still out there! And that black windigo-”

“His name is Winter.” I corrected. What? She would’ve done the same thing!

“Whatever! He made it very clear he wants them dead!” The other ponies in the room all looked at me as realization seemed to sink in for them. So far as they were concerned, they might be safe, but they thought I had left the ponies for dead. Unfortunately before I could explain another voice sounded out through the hall. It wasn’t high pitched, but it wasn’t deep either and it was definitely male. It was smooth, calm, collected, with a manly finesse that came from confidence. Not false confidence either, but real true confidence. It was the kind of voice that let you know that it could kick your flank to next week, but wouldn’t unless you gave it a reason. A voice that spoke of honor, of integrity, of loyalty, and most of all, of protection.

“He didn’t abandon them Twily. He made Cadence shoot that spell into the ground. The gems underneath the city will amplify and rebound that magic, giving a personal skin tight barrier to all of the crystal ponies for the next twenty four hours. He’s a smart guy. Almost as smart as me!” We all turned our heads to stare at the stallion standing in front of the throne and lecturing the princess. Tears began to fall in the coming silence as we took in this new, and welcoming, sight.

There, standing tall and proud as though he had never died, was Shining Armor.

Deleted Scene: Willow

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This is a Deleted Scene from the original chapter 3. Back then I was going to start chapter three at the end of his first day and have a little slice of life chapter that spoke of his first official day as a consort. This was my favorite scene from that now scrapped chapter so I thought I'd post it as a treat since this story has managed to reach an incredible total of over 100 favorites! (I'm totally not stalling for time due to writers block) Remember though, this is techinically non-canon. Hope you enjoy!

That first day I sat in my room for a while just relaxing and letting thoughts run through my head. Everything up to that point had just been one rush after another. I hadn’t really had the chance to let anything that had happened to me actually sink in. As I laid there on my back staring at nothing in particular, the full weight of the past twenty four hours finally came crashing down on me.

And I wasn’t quite as accepting of it as I had been.

Don’t get sentimental on me, I didn’t break down in tears or anything like that. In fact, it felt like I didn’t have any tears to shed. On the contrary, all I really did was get rather philosophical. No memories, no horn, and all of a sudden I’m the princesses consort? Isn’t this a bit much?

I closed my eyes, letting out a small sigh as I contemplated further. What about that dream? Can I really call it a dream? If the magical knowledge I have in my head is anything to go by, then I’ve walked the dreamscape… I think. I certainly know a lot about it. Regardless I have enough knowledge to know that what I saw was no mere dream. But it couldn’t have been a memory. That was easily showing me something from well over a thousand years in the past. Is my mind compensating? It’s possible I’m having such great difficulty recalling past events that it’s just trying to give me something to relate too. If so, then my dream would be left to interpretation. It was a thousand years ago when everypony had next to nothing. Perhaps I lived in poverty? No… I didn’t FEEL poor in the dream. I didn’t feel well off, but I wasn’t ‘poor’. And I felt like things were going to change soon. Was I on my way to some big promotion with my job? What WAS my job? And who was this… Ambrosia?

I rolled over burying my face in my pillow as I let out an exasperated groan before letting my mind wander even more. Perhaps I should be more concerned about why she was so young. My eyes widened. Oh god… I’m not a foal cuddler am I?! Actually… now that I think about it, I wouldn’t be so terrified of that idea if I was… Yeah. I’m going to stick with that train of thought. Finally my mind came to the final question, the one that bothered me most. What was with the ending? The fire, the deaths, and that…

My body tensed up at so much as even thinking of the name. This… Nirvana, seemed to be the source of an unprecedented amount of rage and sorrow. My body shook violently as I instinctively began trying to build up power in my horn, ready to blow a hole in the wall out of frustration. Finally I stopped, a searing pain ripping through my skull with monumental force. Rubbing my head I muttered to myself. “Well, that’s what you get when you try to use magic with a broken horn.” I sighed.

I looked out the window of my room, Celestia’s sun having long since set and Luna’s moon having risen high into the sky. Looking at it made me smile, though I couldn’t tell you why. Perhaps it was the beauty of it, as it certainly was quite beautiful with its stars twinkling in the sky ever so casually, the constellations telling tales as old as time (and even bringing the occasional one to life), it’s moon shining down upon the world casting a gentle glow, acting as a beacon of hope for any lost wanderers shaking in fear deep in the woods as they send silent prayers to Luna, begging for salvation, and somewhere out there Luna was doing just that. Looking for ponies who had lost their way in the darkness, and not just the ones who are literally stranded in the wilderness, but those whose hearts have also lost their light.

It has always been Celestias job to shine her light brightly upon the whole world, keeping her ponies as happy as she possibly could. She was supposed to keep everypony happy no matter what the circumstances or the personal cost. But it was Luna’s job to pick up the pieces for the ponies Celestia failed. The ones who were miserable and hurting. The ones more than happy to throw their lives away just to make it stop. That’s what Luna did. She saved the ones who truly needed it.

I was torn from my musings as I heard my door being opened. Looking back I was surprised to see Willow standing in my doorway. She wore a sad yet expectant look on her face, like she was waiting for something she knew was going to come to pass and that said something was going to hurt when it did. “Hey kiddo.” she said.

“Willow? What are you doing here? Don’t you have some ponies to stick sharp pointy things into?” Willow just looked at me and chuckled as she walked into my room and sat next to my bed. Like I was a moment before, she looked out the window, her eyes gazing at the beautiful night sky.

“It’s… okay to cry you know.” she said, her voice little more than a whisper. I followed her gaze with my own eyes.

“Yeah… I know.”

“… most ponies would be breaking down in tears right about now.”

“Apparently I was an S class unicorn. I don’t think I qualify for the ‘most ponies’ category.”

She let out another chuckle before looking straight at me.

“I guess that makes sense. If you were like everypony else you’d probably be calling the guards to throw me out.” Huh. Now that I thought about it, I barely knew Willow at all. I really shouldn’t have been comfortable enough to let her into my room, especially not uninvited. Though I think for once I had a pretty good reason as to why.

“Well, believe it or not I kinda trust you Willow.” She seemed a little taken aback by that, not that I could blame her. I’d be surprised too given her situation. An amnesiac former super unicorn saying he trusts you when all you’ve done for him so far is patch him up, flirt with him, and scold him like a child would be enough to make anypony do a double take.

“W-why’s that?” she asked.

I turned my gaze back to the window. “To be honest, it’s because of the wisdom in your eyes.” Wow… did THAT ever sound corny or what? I waited for the dejecting sound of a hoof slapping a head, but it never came.

“Wise eyes,” she whispered sadly. “What makes you say that?”

“Well, no offense Willow, but that look you have makes you seem like you’ve had it pretty rough.” It wasn’t a lie either. There was a gleam in that mares eye that told you that she had seen some pretty serious stuff. I mean you could see that in the eyes of almost all of the crystal ponies since they regained their memories after Sombra was brought down, but Willow’s was… particularly strong. Anypony who could read a pony well, and apparently I fall in that category, can tell that the stuff that happened while Sombra was on the throne was just icing on the cake for her.

“So… you can see that… huh?” I nodded my head in response. “And here I thought I was putting up a decent front.” she snickered looking down and shaking her head.

“I can talk… if you want.”

“Maybe one day Rade, but not right now.” she whispered again. Silence washed over us for a moment before she spoke up again laughing. “This is hilarious. I come in here trying to make sure you’re alright and I’M the one that gets the lecture!” I couldn’t stop myself from laughing a little at that as well.

“So do you check on all of your patients like this? Or just the ones you want to diddle?” Her face shot towards me and I received a glare strong enough to make a child wet themselves.

“Who said I wanted to do anything with you?” I gulped and waved my hooves in front of my face as I stammered out a crude apology.

“S-sorry! It-it was just a j-joke! I s-swear!” And then she began laughing again.

“Because whoever said it knows me a little too well!” OH MY CELESTIA THIS MARE!

“I bucking hate you…”

“I’d say the feelings mutual, but that might ruin my chance to get in your pants. Assuming you’ve ever worn pants. Have you worn pants?”

“You don’t have that chance to begin with!” I said with a slightly raised voice and a twitch in my eye. She just snickered. “And as for the pants, I have no idea. Amnesia remember?”

“I can’t help but giggle on the inside whenever someone uses the words amnesia and remember like that in the same sentence. Oh and don’t say there’s no chance. If there’s a will there’s a way… though we may not always like the way.” Her voice lowered at the end of her sentence. And she looked back out the window, her eyes glazing over as she no doubt lost herself in memories.

“Rade…” she called.

“Hm?”

“This is going to sound weird but,” Willow my earliest memory is waking up to find princess Cadence and her guards dressed up as Santa and his reindeer. There’s nothing you can say that will sound weird to m- “You’re special to me.” Wait what?

Whoa lady chill out for a second. Now I’m not saying there’s no such thing as love at first sight, but come on. Plus I’m pretty sure you’re more than a couple of years older than me. And besides we’ve only known each other for a couple of hours…

Haven’t we?

“Willow… do you know who I am?” She shook her head, refusing to meet my eyes.

“I’m… not entirely sure. I was talking to my co-worker, Morning Star, and she felt the same way. You… remind us of somepony from long ago, a great pony that feels… lost. Whenever we tried to think of that pony or anything he did though, our minds come up blank, like they did when Sombra first returned. What I do know is that there’s NO WAY you can be that pony, because from what I CAN remember, he died a long time ago.” She looked me dead in the eye with the most serious face she could muster. “A LONG time ago. Like before the princesses.” Willow stared at me for some time just like that before finally looking away with a sigh.

“I don’t even know why I’m telling you all of this. I just… I guess I felt so compelled. Looking at you makes me feel like I’m looking at some kind of idol. I feel like a little girl meeting her favorite Wonderbolt, or getting her favorite album signed by Sapphire Shores. Even Morning Star feels the same way and we just don’t understand it.”

“Well… I can’t really speak for you and your friend but-”

“She’s not my friend.” I gave her a puzzled look and she let out another sigh. “She’s not my friend. She’s my co-worker. I… I don’t have any friends… or even any family for that matter.” Well that’s a surprise.

“Why not? Did something happen?”

She looked out the window, remaining quiet for several minutes. I didn’t want to break the silence as she seemed to really be debating on whether or not to continue this conversation. As I stared at her I noticed something that sent a ping of pain through my heart… she was crying. “Yeah. Sombra happened.”

I opened my mouth to speak, but quickly shut it when she held up her hoof. “Please… no pity party. That only makes it worse.” I nodded my head in understanding, turning my eyes back to the moon.

I turned my head as I heard her stand up and begin to walk away. I waited for her to say something, but when she began opening the door I realized that wasn’t going to happen so I decided to speak instead. “Really? You’re going to leave without even trying to bounce my bones?” I said with a smirk. She looked back at me with a sad smile.

“I have to at least get to know you a little bit. I’m not THAT loose.”

“Well then how about we continue to get to know each other.” Her eyes widened as she gave me a curious look. “What do you say Willow?” I got up and walked casually over to her. When I was standing right in front of her I sat down and held out a hoof. “Friends?”

Willow blinked a few times before reaching out and taking my hoof in her own. “Yeah, sure. Why not?” She walked back into the hallway, waving goodnight. With all of that said and done, I went back to my bead and laid my head onto my pillow and let sleep overtake me. There was too much to think about and I had actual important stuff to do the next day. For now, I was more than content to just drift into dreams.

Author's Notes:

So... when do I get to come in?
Celestia... are you... are you breaking the fourth wall?!
....... Noooooooo.
First off, you're supposed to be more responsible than that. Secondly... how?!
Oh don't be such a spoilsport Chronicler.
Yeah, let aunty have a little fun!
Rade! Cadence! You too?!
Come on Chron-Chron! I'm not even in the story yet! I'm just sitting here with a script and I don't get to say my lines FOREVER!
It's not forever... it's a few chapters at the most.
Exactly! FOREVER!
You're a thousand years old Celestia, I think you can handle a few more more weeks.
Thank you Twiligh-
And if he gets his lazy butt in gear maybe in the next few days!
Oh come on! And wait just a moment! How do you have scripts?! I haven't written the rest of the story yet!!!
Uh... magic?
............. DISCOOOOOOORD!
Discord's on a walk with Fluttershy at the moment. I can take a memo if you want.
Why thank you Willow. See? THAT'S a sensible pony right there!
Oh wait are we screwing with Chronicler? If that's the case... hey Rade where are my fuzzy hoofcuffs?
HOW WOULD I KNOW?!
ALL OF THEE SHUT UP! THOU HAST MADE US LOSE A LIFE!

Calm Before the Storm

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“Shiny?” Twilight whispered. She took a tentative step forward, her body tense as she tried to put together what she was seeing.

“Hey Twily.” He said with a soft smile. Twilight started panting as she tried to both fight back tears as well as find words to say. A few seconds of that and she gave up looking for the right thing to say and tried to let her body take control instead, rushing towards him.

I wasn’t about to have that.

“Guards! Grab Princess Twilight and hold her down! If she resists, use force! Same goes for Cadence! Sunburst, capture that unicorn!” Cadence, who up to this point had been locked in place unable to tear her eyes away from him, and Twilight looked at me with a mixture of shock, rage, and fear. The guards obviously weren’t sure if they should take orders from me, but when they saw Sunburst take off without hesitation they quickly followed suit. I smiled. She understood my intentions immediately.

Cadence was still in too much shock to resist but Twilight made it very clear she wasn’t going down without a fight. Luckily her rage addled mind wasn’t very good for fighting and she quickly found herself apprehended. Poor mare. It was going to be so hard to salvage anything after this, but it needed to be done. Shining himself put up no resistance, allowing Sunburst to place an inhibitor on his horn and cuff his hooves while he stared at me with what seemed to be an almost approving look.

I gestured with my head for the guards to place Twilight and Cadence directly behind me before creating a protective circle around them. The remaining guards took up positions around Shining, weapons raised. I looked around, quickly assessing my situation once more before catching Cadence’s eye.

She looked at me confused and I returned with a sheepish smile. “Rade…” she whispered. “Why? Why are you doing this?” Before I had the chance to answer I was cut off by Twilight.

“I KNEW IT! YOU’RE A TRAITOR JUST LIKE I THOUGHT! YOU WERE JUST TRYING TO LULL US INTO A FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY! I BET YOU’RE WORKING WITH THE WINDIGOES AREN’T YOU?! ADMIT IT!” I sighed. Once more Twilight was allowing her emotions to cloud her judgment. Shaking my head I began to reply but was cut off once again.

“Twily calm down. He’s doing the right thing.” All heads turned to Shining Armor who was wearing a grin that seemed to radiate pride for… some reason.

“Shiny! Look at him! He’s turned the guards against us! He took your place and now that you’re back he’s trying to get rid of you! We have to do something!” Shining just shook his head. I kept a steady glare on him, studying his every move.

“No Twily. He’s just trying to protect you.” Twilight seemed taken aback by this, while Cadence just seemed to look around visibly confused and seemingly disoriented. Something told me it wasn’t going to be long before she… oh. There she goes, fainting right on cue. Not that I could blame her. Her mind is going through a lot of stress at the moment and she just let off two very large spells.

A thought suddenly occurred to me and I had to maintain my composure during an unexpected panic attack. If Cadence was out cold then how was the shield around the palace still operating? I started darting my eyes all around looking for an answer when Sunburst cleared her throat. Looking towards her I watched as she gestured to the throne with her wing. As I looked I let out a sigh of relief. Lines of light blue magic were coursing through the stone. They must have placed a charm on it to let it maintain the barrier should Cadence pass out. Of course that only brought up a new worry. Spells like those aren’t as useful as some would think. In fact they do more harm than good. Even though Cadence is resting, that chair will be continually sapping her magical power with no chance for recovery. And unlike when she’s awake, she can’t regulate how much power she uses so the shield is just going to keep taking whatever she used to maintain it before passing out. Hopefully, that wouldn’t be too much.

“Protect us?! From what?!” Twilights endless shouting snapped me back to the task at hand.

“From me. Twily, ponies don’t just come back from the dead. I could literally be anypony and he’s not willing to take that chance. For all you know I could be a changeling or using a heavy duty illusion spell. Right uh… whoever you are?” I quickly gave Shining a look that said ‘Shut-up-or-it-won’t-matter-if-you’re-the-real-deal-or-not’. His smile quickly disappeared as he gulped some air.

I stomped my hoof on the ground to get all of the guards attention. “I want eight guards to take the princesses to Cadence’s room. Don’t let them leave unless I say otherwise. The twelve guards surrounding the unkown unicorn as well as captain Sunburst, escort the prisoner to the war council room we were in earlier. If you don’t know the way follow your captain. Once you arrive wait for further orders. You three.” I said pointing at the ponies I’d earlier mentally labelled as random unicorn guard seven, ambiguous pegasus guard twelve and blatant Lunawars clone ripoff earth pony three. “I want you to scour the palace and tell everypony you find to head to the ball room. I want the rest of you guards to split into three teams. The first team will be working to keep the civilians in check, basically regular police duty. There’s a lot of craziness going on right now and tensions are high. I need you watching in case a fight breaks out. If it does settle it quickly or else it might start a riot. The second will do whatever’s necessary to get the civilians as comfortable as they can as quickly as they can. I don’t care what you have to do, gather blankets, get the cooking staff to start a feast, read the foals bedtime stories, doesn’t matter. Just make sure everypony sits down and shuts up. Or at least doesn’t feel the need to put their neighbor in a chokehold. The last group needs to gather up the rest of the ‘Mane Six’. Cadences rear I hate that name.” I mumbled under my breath. “Anyways gather them up and place them where no one can see them. If anypony asks where they are just tell them they’re on some big classified mission or something like that. If they find out about their current conditions it’ll cause a panic. Also when you’re done would you uh…” I looked around the room, eyeing the carnage the sudden battle had created. Fallen soldiers and many other poor ponies lay motionless about the room, their eyes devoid of life. I was surprised by how the sight affected me. It made me sad yes, but I wasn’t on the ground sobbing. In fact it felt a little too… familiar. I realized that while it made me feel terrible… it was something I’d seen before. I let my mind wander for a moment as I contemplated what that meant. Obviously I’ve seen my fair share of battlefields, but was that good… or bad? I was pulled from my musings when a quiet ‘Yes Sir’ came from some of the ponies on my right. I gave them a sympathetic look as they saluted and began walking over to the… gah, I have to find something to call them other than the ‘Mane Six’.

“HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!” Twilight shouted. I facehooved, I didn’t have time for this right now. “YOU CAN’T DO THIS! YOU DON’T HAVE THE POWER! GUARDS, AS YOUR PRINCESS I ORDER YOU TO REALEASE ME AT ONCE!” Some of the guards surrounding Twilight began to move towards her, but Sunburst cleared her throat, drawing their attention and stopping them.

“I’m sorry princess, but that’s not possible.” Twilight glared daggers at the pegasus captain.

“Why not?!” Sunburst sighed.

“Well, due to your earlier outbursts, you were deemed temporarily unfit to rule by a political majority. After that all power fell to Cadence who, during an earlier meeting, stated quote ‘As of now Rades word is my own.’ granting him basically the same level of power as herself. Since she never stated otherwise, you’re still deemed unfit, and princess Cadence is…” Everypony looked at the passed out pink fluff ball on the floor. “Indisposed… that basically puts him in charge. At least until she wakes up. And even then it’s arguable that she’s not actually fit to take care of things herself.” Twilights mouth sat agape as she stared at captain Sunburst. Honestly I was a little disappointed. I thought everypony was listening to me because they thought I was awesome or really trustworthy or something, not because I was technically the one in charge. Ah well. Don’t mind me Sunburst, I’ll just be over here nursing my bruised ego.

“I’m going straight to the infirmary to check up on something.” I said. “After that I’ll be heading to the war room to meet the prisoner. If you need me I’ll be in those locations for the time being. That is all. Everypony get to work. It’s going to be a long day.”

Each of the guards gave a salute before following my orders to the letter. I sauntered off to the infirmary with enough worry running through my head to block off Twilights never ending screaming. That mare really has a pair of lungs.

I let my thoughts flow freely as I walked through the halls. I had to make my way through numerous ponies many of whom were just beginning to make their way to the ball room. All of these ponies were in danger. These ponies, MY ponies I chastised myself as at the moment they really were mine, were scared, confused, and miserable. And who could blame them? The crystal heart was in pieces, their city was covered in snow, the guard had been decimated, their neighbors had been slaughtered before their eyes, and that was just what they KNEW. They had no idea that I was in charge because Cadence and Twilight were too emotionally unstable to handle even simple tasks, or that a pony claiming to be their dead prince had shown up, or even that Equestria’s so called ‘heroes’ were currently encased in giant chunks of black ice, or worst of all that the blizzard outside was so severe we couldn’t hope for any kind of reinforcements. Not even Celsetia and Luna could break through that wall of ice and wind.

All this being said though I was happy… in a way. Not happy that things had turned out like this. No. Not at all. But I was very pleased in myself. Even with everything going on I had managed to keep some kind of level head and so far I had managed to buy us time and preserve the lives of most of the ponies in the empire. My quick thinking had, for the most part, gotten us through the hard part relatively unscathed, though I use that term very loosely. Considering the fact that this could have very well ended up as a rout, we’re quite lucky.

As I opened the door to the infirmary, my thoughts came to a sudden halt at the sight before me. Dozens of ponies civilian and soldier alike were piled onto the various beds. Pained moans and wails of agony crashed into my ears with the force of an earth ponies hooves. The Ambrosia and Cadence clones looked absolutely exhausted, some of them even sitting slumped against the wall catching their breath.

Before I had a chance to properly register what I was seeing I was startled by a sudden pair of hooves wrapping around me. Looking down I found the familiar honey brown hooves of Smart Cookie holding me in a tight embrace. Turning my head a little more I stared into her teary eyes and gave her a gentle smile. Normally I’d be a little apprehensive about a mare I didn’t know well hugging me like this, but Smart Cookie was just to innocent and adorable for me to care. And with everything I’ve gone through today I honestly needed that hug. “Thank Celestia you’re alright!” she said gripping me a little tighter.

“Yeah, I’m fine Cooks no need to worry. You can let go now.” She gave me a strange look before looking down at her own hooves. Her face went bright red as she let go and started stammering out apologies one after another. I couldn’t help but chuckle a bit at her expense.

“Thanks Cooks.” I said after I calmed down. She just looked at me confused.

“Cooks? And what exactly are you thinking me for Master Radiance?”

“First off you can drop that whole ‘Master Radiance’ thing. I hate titles. Just call me Rade. Cooks is what I’ve decided to call you because saying Smart Cookie takes too long and I don’t want to call you miss because again, I hate titles. Finally I’m thanking you for the hug… I really needed one.” And once more her blush came back in full force.

“Oh uh you’re… you’re welcome Ma- I mean Rade.” She added a little nervous laughter at the end, rubbing her hooves together in embarrassment and eliciting more chuckles from me. It grew quiet between us then and I took the chance to look her over, she was part of the reason I came here after all. She was covered in bandages that were tinted a little red, but for the most part she seemed fine.

“So… why are you here Rade? Shouldn’t you be with the Princess?”

“Actually you’re half the reason that I’m here.” Her eyes widened a bit in surprise.

“I am?”

“Yes. I wanted to make sure you were alright after those injuries you received. That being said, how are you doing? You seem fine to me but I’m no doctor so I can’t really say for sure.”

“Oh! I’m uh, I’m fine, thank you for asking. My armor stopped the spikes from hitting anything too important so all they had to do was pull the ice out, wrap me up and give me a few painkillers. But you don’t need to concern yourself with me. There are other ponies in much worse condition than I am. I‘ve been trying to help the nurses since I woke up. There isn’t much I can do, but I try my best.” She sunk her head low as she looked toward the ground. I gave her sympathetic smile as I placed my hoof on her shoulder. She lifted her head and looked me in the eye. The expression on her face was filled with regret and sorrow, probably because she felt so useless at the moment. A feeling I easily understood.

“Today’s been hard on all of us Cooks and I’ll be honest. I don’t think it’s going to get much better.” Her eyes shrank and her ears splayed backwards in fear as she looked at me.

“What… what do you mean?” I let out a sigh. For some reason I wanted Smart Cookie to know what was going on. Sure, I knew her for only a few hours, but for some reason she made me comfortable. She was familiar to me somehow, and right now I’d take anything that could bring my head back down to Equus.

“I mean if you think things were bad before, just wait till I tell you what’s happened since you passed out. We’re in a bad position Cooks, and I don’t see much of a way out.”

“So in other words we’re bucked?” Smart Cookie and I turned our heads to the new voice. A smile crept onto my face as I turned my head to find Willow standing there. She looked more than a little worse for wear. Her mane and tail were frazzled with hairs sticking out all over, her coat was matted and in dire need of a good brushing, and she even had a bit of a strong smell coming off her, no doubt from all the work she must have been doing not moments before.

“Willow!” I exclaimed. “It’s good to see you! Are you alright?” She gave me a deadpan look before putting her head down and sighing. When she looked up at me she had a weak smile accentuated by the exhausted look in her eyes.

“Yeah. Yeah I’m alright. As alright as I can be anyways. And it’s good to see you too.” I gave her a smirk and a wiggle of my brow while she shot me a look. The comedy died though as her face turned serious. “But I have to ask Rade, what’s going on? I’ve gotten to know you pretty well. You and Cadence are practically bound at the hip. If you’re here alone it CAN’T be good.”

I let out a sigh. She’s always so direct but that was one of the things I’d come to love about Willow. I had become pretty good friends with her since my arrival here, and while we’re far from the kind of relationship I have with Cadence I knew that I could trust her with just about anything.

“Both of you come with me into the hall. I’ll tell you there.” Willow and Smart Cookie glanced at each other before nodding their heads and following me through the doors. After looking around the hall to make sure it was clear I recounted everything that had happened since I rushed out of the doors. Smart Cookie began to visibly shake as she realized just how royally screwed we were at the moment while Willow kept her face relatively neutral the whole way through. Even the news about Shining Armor didn’t seem to phase her. The same could not be said for Smart Cookie however.

“The prince has returned?!” she shouted, her eyes filled with hope. Hope I, sadly, quickly had to dash.

“I don’t know. It’s a possibility. But it’s far more likely this stallion is an imposter.” I hated watching the poor mares face deflate at that, but it had to be done. I looked at Willow who had yet to say anything or even change her expression. “Willow you okay?” That seemed to snap her out of it as she raised her brow curiously.

“Yeah I’m fine. Why do you ask?”

“Well you’ve been kinda quiet.” I replied honestly.

“Oh. Well yeah I mean I’m a little surprised about Shining coming back and all, but I’m not too worried.” Smart Cookie looked how I felt, completely surprised.

“Why not?” she asked. I suddenly heard screaming coming from inside the infirmary. Hoofs began to clatter across the floor as the beeping of medical equipment suddenly increased at a dangerous rate. It didn’t take a genius to know what was happening. Willow turned back to the sound of the noise preparing to go inside and help, but turned back at the last second.

“I’m not worried because he’s in charge.” She said pointing at me. Wait… what? “If it were anypony else I might be a bit concerned. But Rade I’ve seen you pull off stunts in the past month that should have gotten you locked up for a long time and the princess dethroned. Yet somehow you always managed to cover your butts and weasel your way out of trouble. Sure, they’ve all been harmless pranks but you’ve gotten lucky so far, and something tells me your luck hasn’t run out quite yet. And besides, you always seem to be a couple of steps ahead. I’m positive you’re already working on a plan to get us out of this mess, isn’t that right?” She looked at me with a knowing smile, one I couldn’t help but return myself.

“Sort of, and that brings me back to the other half of why I’m here. I don’t know if you have it but there’s some things I need you to get me.”

Author's Notes:

So this has been me just about every time someone's tried to talk to me this month.

Yeah my life kind of sucks right now. Luckily I have ponies who are more than happy to cheer me up every time I turn on the television, so it's all good.
As for this story it looks like Rade DOES have a plan, but what could it possibly be and will it even work?
I know but I'm not telling. MWAHAHAHAHAHA!
Well not until the next chapter anyways. Also I apologize it took so long for this to get out and I know, it's really not much more than senseless drivel, but I've had an issue with the chapter I'm currently writing where it was simply too long for my tastes and I had to find somewhere to split it up. I decided that this would be a decent place and had to put the break here. So again, sorry it's not much, but I guarantee the next two chapters are going to be huge.
You think me bringing back Shining was dropping a bomb? You haven't seen anything yet!

Peasants, Royals, and Kings

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“Bless me with the
Leaf off of the tree
On it I see
The freedom reign

We are falling
The light is calling
Tears inside me
Calm me down

Midnight calling
Mist of resolving
Crown me, with the
Pure green leaf

Praise to my father
Blessed by the water
Black night, dark sky
The devils cry”

“That’s… that’s a very beautiful song Master Radiance.” Smart Cookie said. I looked at her confused for a moment until I realized I’d been singing. We were walking down the hall and the war room was still a ways away so I guess the boredom must have gotten to me.

“Uh… thank you. And again just call me Rade, okay Cooks?”

“Ah… right. Sorry about that Master Rad… I mean Rade. Anyways about that song. I’ve never heard it before. What’s it about?” I blinked, looking up as I held a hoof on my chin.

“You know Cooks, I have no idea. Strange though… it feels… really important to me somehow.”

“A lullaby maybe? It does have that really old feel, and it seems like one of those songs you can sing over and over again without messing up the tune. Maybe your mother sang it to you?”

“Well if the dreams I’ve been having are anything to go by then the closest thing I have to a mother is a princess who died nearly a thousand years ago. And no… I think it’s a little dark to be a lullaby. Though now that I think about it a lot of lullabies are actually pretty dark, so yeah maybe you’re right.”

“I… thank you…” Smart Cookie looked away awkwardly, staring down at the floor like a puppy that had done something wrong. Strange. From what I’d seen of her she was definitely the quiet scholar type, but she didn’t really seem so… fragile. I mean she was pretty blunt when asking about Candy I’s nonexistent sex life. It takes a lot of guts to ask a princess that. Or a lot of stupid, but given her personality I was pretty sure I could rule that one out.

“Cooks, you okay?” I asked.

“Hm…? Oh! Oh yeah! I’m fine… yeah. Eh hehehe…”

“Cooks.”

“Yes?”

“You’re a terrible liar.” She dropped her head in disappointment.

“Yeah I know.”

“So… you want to tell me what’s wrong? I know we haven’t exactly known each other long so you don’t have to say anything but if you’re not feeling well I want to know why. If you’re not in the right state of mind then you can join the rest of the civilians. Nopony will blame you I promise.”

“It’s… it’s nothing. Really.”

“You sure? It doesn’t look like nothing.”

“I’m sure.”

“Positive? You can go back to Willow’s if-”

“IT’S YOU!” She shouted. Can’t say I’m surprised. I always seem to do SOMETHING wrong don’t I? “My problem is with you…”

“Uh… sorry. Mind if I ask what I did wrong?” She let out a sigh as she shook her head before turning her gaze back to the floor in front of her.

“It’s not what you’ve done wrong, it’s what you’ve done RIGHT.”

“Eh?” We stopped and she looked at me with a face that seemed to be more of frustrated curiosity than the confusion or resentment I was expecting.

“Look, what are you?”

“A unicorn.” She face hoofed.

“No, I mean life wise. What do you do? How do you live day to day? How do you get by?”

“Pull city wide pranks, fail at embarrassing Willow, and mooch off a princess.” Cooks just stared at me before shaking her head and letting out a quick breath.

“I was going to say you were a consort but that works too.”

“Awesome. Still not seeing the point though.”

“That’s just it. Don’t you get it? You’re the number one knucklehead unicorn of the crystal empire! You’re supposed to be a no good prankster that the princess felt sorry for and let into her home! Only to end up becoming infatuated with out of grief and succumb to all of your silly little games!” Thanks Smart Cookie. I never would have guessed. Please tell me more about myself so we can bury it along with the rest of my pride.

“Is that really how the world sees me?” Cooks nodded her head with slight vigor. “Wow… I knew it was bad but I didn’t think it was THAT bad.” Then again it’s not like I cared one way or the other. All of my antics helped to cheer up my friend and in the end that’s all that mattered to me. All that still matters to me.

“Well it is. You should have seen the war room when Cadence demanded for you to be brought in for advising. I thought there was going to be a riot!” I know that bit of enlightening information should have bothered me, but to be honest it actually put a little smile on my face. I mean you have to admit. You know you’ve done some serious stuff when the very mention of your name can turn a political meeting into an all out brawl.

“When Sunburst finally managed to get everypony to quiet down and sent somepony to fetch you, the room was filled with mumbling from every corner. Guards were rolling their eyes, advisors shaking their heads, you could even make out the nobles whispering about how terrible of an influence you’d been on the princess lately. Some were even speculating on how to… ‘deal with you’ because they thought that all of your actions were just a ploy for power.” I was a bit unnerved. Not because she basically just said that there were ponies who wanted to assassinate me, but by the fact that I actually found that somewhat flattering. Somehow the fact that ponies wanted me dead was not a new feeling, nor was it an unpleasant one. In fact the idea that someone could sneak up on me and take me out like that just seemed… silly. I don’t know who I used to be, but I’m starting to think I was one heck of a badass.

Pardon my language Donkeys.

“Ponies want me dead? That’s kind of cool.” I said and she just scrunched up her face before throwing her hooves in the air.

“See?! That! That right there is why everypony was in an uproar! You never take things seriously!” Now hold on a moment.

“I’ve been taking this whole situation we’re in seriously. Well… until now anyways.” She let out a defeated sigh before looking away again.

“I know, and that’s what doesn’t make sense. You’re… you’re supposed to be a useless prankster who can’t or won’t do anything right. But then all of this happens,” she says and twirls her hoof in a circle above her head. “And suddenly you’re all business… and more.” I raised my brow at that.

“And more? What do you mean?”

“Well… when you walked through those doors I expected to see a pony with a ridiculously large grin and maybe even a saddlebag full of joke supplies. There were even a ton of ponies ready to just start yelling at you and ripping you a new one. Yet the minute you walked in… everypony went silent. And it was all because of that… that aura you seemed to push out.” She shuddered.

“It was both mystifying and terrifying at the same time. The way you carried yourself, the look in your eyes, it made me feel so… small. I’ve… always been shy but… that was something else. You seemed to radiate power. No… that’s not quite right. Power was a part of you. Something you naturally seemed to hold onto and distribute to others at your leisure. I’m originally stationed in Canterlot, the town not the palace, so I’ve seen the princesses a few times and it was the exact same as when I was around them.”

“And I mean that in more ways than one. Being around the princesses definitely makes me feel small, but not insignificant. They seemed to give off this gentle feeling, like they’re trying to tell me that I’m just as important and incredible as they are, even though I’m just a lowly rookie. You were the exact same way, making me feel like you were worlds above me yet at the same time we were on equal ground.”

“But the second all of those ponies left the room that feeling went away as you collapsed on the table and all of a sudden I saw the party pony I was expecting to see, albeit you looked absolutely exhausted.” She giggled at that last part and I just rolled my eyes. What she said though gave me pause for thought. I had no idea I held that kind of sway over ponies. It was a little unnerving I could make a room full of ponies feel that way, though it does add to my theory of being a total badass. Again, sorry donkeys.

“That’s very flattering… I think. But please don’t compare me to Celestia and Luna. I don’t know who I was before losing my memory, but I’m pretty sure we can all agree I wasn’t THAT special.” Smart Cookie just shook her head.

“I’m not so sure. Maybe you’re an unannounced royal?”

“A what?”

“An unannounced royal. You know what a royal is right?”

“I’d say yes, but I don’t think we’re thinking of the same definition, so please enlighten me.”

“Alright. Well you’ve seen the representatives of other nations right? Like the ones from Saddle Arabia or Neighpan?”

“Cadence takes me everywhere she goes so I’ve met them once or twice.”

“Remember how they’re all way taller than your average pony? That’s because they’re royals. Ponies chosen by Equus itself, or maybe more specifically the energy that flows through Equus, to lead its people. Each royal is imbued with huge stores of magical power and given the title of prince or princess. Like Princess Twilights ascension to an alicorn, only they don’t end up with the traits of all the different tribes.”

“So a royal is chosen by magic itself? But isn’t magic one of Fausts three gifts?”

“That’s right. The legend says that upon creation, Faust gave the world three gifts. Mortality, so that we had lives we could cherish, respect, and enjoy. Fertility, so that we could bring new life into the world to share in said joys. And Magic, so that we could interact with the world in amazing ways, shaping it so that each generation could enjoy it more than the one before. Magic in particular though, is said to be Fausts very own power, which she has decided to let us borrow though every creature is capable of tapping into different amounts of it in different ways.”

“So… what you’re saying is… royals are leaders… chosen by the Goddess?”

“Yes and no. It’s more like there’s a certain set of requirements that decides who gets to become a royal and who doesn’t and if you meet them then you become a royal, though nopony really knows what those requirements are, just that they exist. After all if they were chosen by the goddess alone then there would never be evil royals like Sombra.”

“Unless Faust is a complete jerk.” I said with more than a little venom. Smart Cookie seemed a little taken aback by that. I wasn’t sure why but the idea of Faust, or anypony for that matter, having that kind of power over ponies destinies… really REALLY irked me, though I had no definite reason why.

“Yes… yes I suppose you’re right. Though I’ve never really considered that…”

“Well don’t go busting up your theological views over something like that. Anyways you think I could be an… unannounced royal? What’s that?”

“It’s a royal who doesn’t take up their position. Basically a pony that ascends and doesn’t tell anypony, either because they think the world doesn’t really need them or because they don’t want the responsibility.”

“Are you calling me lazy?”

“Yes. Are you really going to deny that though?”

“… touché. Wait, so is an alicorn different from a regular royal?”

“Well yes and no. Alicorns are sort of like super beefed up royals. They’re basically royals that are on the verge of becoming Kings or Queens, though aside from diamond dogs ponies are the only species that have that kind of tell tale sign about a possible future ascended royal.”

“Yeah about that. How come there are no kings or queens?” Smart Cookie looked at me with a bit of surprise before turning her head back in front of her.

“Kings and Queens are different from regular royals in that they’re actually a step above them. And there are only a few of them in all of history. The first known king was the king of dragons, Bahamut. The second King was the minotaur king, Minos. The first Queen was a griffon named Quilana. Each one ushered in a new age of technological, magical, and cultural advancements. Every time a new king or queen is born, it has always meant that the world was going to change in ways we couldn’t believe. It’s also said that they’re immensely powerful to a degree that’s supposed to rival a god. I’ve heard tales of Kings and Queens with enough strength to level entire cities in a single blow and not even become winded. And because it can be several centuries and even millenia in between the reign of each monarch for a long time that’s all they were… tales.”

“What do you mean? What happened?” Smart Cookies ears splayed backwards as she let out a sigh.

“Cadence’s wedding, that’s what. When Queen Chrysalis attacked, everypony assumed she called herself Queen either because her species was a race of bugs or because she was arrogant like Sombra and took on a title she didn’t actually deserve. Just like everypony else Celestia challenged her with that mindset…”

“Only to get pimpslapped.” My ability to make ponies face hoof will never cease to amuse me.

“I wouldn’t have chosen that particular wording but yes. She was-”

“Pimpslapped.”

“DEFEATED. When Celestia was thrown to the ground the whole world suddenly realized that Chrysalis wasn’t just talking the talk. She had more than enough power to back up her claim. The only way we could have beaten them was if Luna was there too but she was still returning from a foreign meeting in Phoenicis. The only reason Equestria didn’t fall was because Cadence and Shining Armor managed to work a miracle and both create and use a Rank A spell out of nowhere that just so happened to throw every changeling out of Canterlot.”

“In other words we got lucky.”

“Quite. What’s strange though is that nopony’s heard from Chrysalis since. In all the history of Equestria nopony had ever heard of changelings. Then all of a sudden Chrysalis launches an attack only to be stopped and never heard from again. It’s been almost two years, and nopony has spotted even a single changeling. She’s just… fallen off the face of Equus.”

“Maybe she just wanted her species to be known and their power acknowledged. Kind of like saying ‘Hey we’re here and we can take you at anytime but we’re not going to because we’re nicer than that. If we ever do try to take you though here’s a list of our powers so you can stop us if the next ruler is completely off his rocker.”

“Somehow, I doubt that.”

“Well then what do you believe?”

“Huh?”

“What do you think Chrysalis was doing?”

“Uh… hm… I don’t know. I’ll tell you this though, I don’t think Chrysalis was ever going to take Equestria. Something tells me that if she wanted to she would have with ease. No, I think she had another agenda and whatever it was I’m pretty sure she accomplished it.”

“And that scares you?” I asked, noticing her ears splay backwards at the thought.

“I… yes. It does.” I put on a smile and gave her a pat on the shoulder.

“Don’t worry Cooks. I’m sure that if Chrysalis attacks, we can handle whatever she decides to throw at us. Though first we have to survive this.” I said with a laugh. It wasn’t much of one but she cracked a small smile which I was grateful to see. Things were hard enough as is. Even small fragile smiles were better than nothing at the moment.

As I rounded the last corner I found our destination to be in sight. As we stopped in front of the door I let out a small sigh as I whispered “Well… here we are.”

“Is something the matter?” I frowned.

“Yeah. See no matter what happens, hells going to break loose the second I leave this room.” Smart Cookie flattened her ears in confusion.

“Why’s that?”

“Well if he’s an obvious imposter then not only do I have to deal with him, but with Cadence and Twilight as well.”

“Um Rade… sir… I don’t really like the way you say ‘deal with him’. It makes it sound like you’re going to… execute him or something.”

Silence.

Smart Cookie took a few steps backwards in what I could only assume was fear. “Uh… you’re not… are you?”

“Private Smart Cookie.” I spoke her name with authority this time, keeping my eyes glued to the door all the while. The sound of metal meeting metal told me she was now in a salute.

“Yes sir?”

“Check the status of each of the three groups and report back here. Don’t open the door, just knock and somepony will speak to you. After that wait outside these doors for further orders.” The tone in my voice left little room for argument. With a feeble ‘yes sir’ she galloped off in the direction we came. I looked down at the ground. Yes, if he turned out to be an imposter then that’s the order I would have to give. During my time here in the crystal empire I decided I didn’t want to be a burden, so while I was finding out what I already knew, I was learning other things as well, particularly those that let me help Cadence with her decision making here in the palace. I’d read through several books on different protocols dealing with the government, the guards, and all other aspects of national importance. One of those things stated that given circumstances as dire as the ones I found myself in, any problems that could be deemed hazardous to the well being of the citizenry were to be dealt with swiftly and without prejudice.

In layman’s terms cut off its head before it cuts off yours.

I stood outside the war room as I pulled my nerves together. I fiddled with the small bag around my neck, listening to the tinkling of the three small jars inside. I had an idea on what to do to win this war. It was dangerous, stupid, and would most likely get me killed.

So nothing different than normal for me.

Before I did anything though I had to confirm the identity of the pony behind these doors. I didn’t expect Shining’s interrogation to take long. Not with what I had planned. No, what I expected to take long was what would come after the interrogation. If my gut was right, then this was an imposter and things were about to get very… icky. If not well… some part of me actually hoped that he was an imposter. After all, dealing with the fallout of him being the real deal would be much more difficult than saying ‘Ha! Caught you!’ and ending all my problems there.

I looked to the door and let out a sigh. “Might as well get this over with.” I muttered, before taking in a deep breath and shoving the door open.

I’d like to say that the room was dark with a beaten and barely conscious Shining sitting at a dull gray table, a single light illuminating the room while a bunch of guards dressed in suits and sunglasses lined the walls. After all, that’s what a lot of conspiracy nuts would expect from a situation like this.

Poor conspiracy theorists. If they only knew.

Almost every guard in the room was sitting on their butt exhausted, assuming they weren’t already asleep. The only pony who actually seemed to be taking things seriously was Sunburst. Who sat next to Shining, her spear mounted and held to his throat by one of her wings. Shining himself sat patiently in his seat. His eyes shut and a gentle smile on his face, as though he was resting under a tree on a warm day.

Sunburst noticed me and was quick to get her troops back in order. “AT ATTENTION!” she called, and just like that every pony in the room was up and on their hooves, ready for action.

“At ease.” I said, as I sat in a chair on the other side of Shining. “You can put the spear down lieutenant. We’ve already got an inhibitor ring on him and his hooves are all bound, we don’t need anything else.” And besides, you can get more information from a prisoner whose comfortable than one who’s to scared to remember the difference between red and blue.

With a nod Sunburst lowered her spear before speaking up. “Should we fetch the lantern?”

“Yes. Please.” I kept my emotionless gaze locked onto Shining while he just smiled casually. Had doing this kind of thing not felt so familiar to me that smile may have unnerved me. Given the state I was in now though, all it did was piss me off, though I made sure not to let it show.

A few moments of silence later and two guards walked in with a large glowing green lantern that came up to my knees. It was specially designed for creatures called ‘Changelings’, beings famous for taking on the form of another and then feeding off of the love that pony normally receives. Cadence had dealt with them before at her wedding and while the attack had resulted in no fatalities, for either side so far as she knew, precautions had been taken to deal with this sort of thing ever again. One of them was the lamp now sitting on the table.

Inside was a large crystal straight from the crystal empires crystal mines. It was imbued with several different types of spells that would resonate with a specific magical signature that was found to exist on all changelings given the nature of their magic. This resonance would disrupt the magical flow in the body of any changeling sending a painful shock through them and stopping any spell they were casting.

Basically it’s a bug zapper.

“Turn it on.” Sunburst nodded and with the flick of her head, the two unicorn guards that carried it inside flipped a switch and the green glow began to let out an eerie looking mist. We let the machine run for several minutes, Shining smiling all the while. After a while I accepted the fact that he wasn’t about to turn into a bug any time soon and had the machine turned off. He looked at me and his smile grew.

“So, I take it we can get to proper questions now?” I didn’t bother to answer him. Instead I pulled out my secret weapon for this particular part. Reaching into the bag around my neck I pulled out a vial filled with clear liquid and placed it on the table, motioning for Shining to drink it. He looked at me quizzically for a moment before lifting the glass as best he could with his bound hooves and inspecting its contents. A frown formed on his face when he read the label. “Veritaserum? You’re going to drug me? Do you have any idea how many laws you’re breaking by doing this?”

“Sunburst,” I said without looking away. “Please tell this pony how many bucks I give.”

“Master Radiance gives precisely zero bucks.” I almost let out a little giggle. I honestly didn’t think she’d go along with that but hey, I’m not complaining and the look on Shining’s face was absolutely priceless.

That… and I could never get enough of Sunbursts voice.

“Not only are you making jests during such a situation, you’ve managed to rope the new guards captain into your antics as well? What’s worse you completely disrespect the rule of law! Veritaserum is quite clearly a method of torture, albeit a more friendly version and has been outlawed for good reason! How can you disrespect the law so easily?!” Well he’s certainly got the right is right and wrong is wrong part of his personality down.

My face never changed during Shinings rant. The only motion I made was to move my hooves to my chin in a contemplative gesture. “Tell me, how many ponies live in the crystal empire. Not the empire as a whole, but the capital city itself? The city we’re currently residing in.”

“Over a hundred thousand…”

“And do you know how many have died today?” His eyes widened.

“I… no. No I don’t.”

“Well… that makes two of us. See when the windigos attacked, they were already storming the inside of the palace by the time I arrived and we were still in the middle of investigations and evacuations. I have no way of knowing just how many of my ponies, and yes right now they ARE my ponies, died before I was able to stop Winter. Maybe none of them did, and I sincerely hope that whatever god controls this world, assuming there even is one, is benevolent enough to grant that miracle. But there’s just as much chance of that as there is of me walking out to a city of corpses when all of this is through. That being said let me tell you what I DO know. I know the crystal heart is broken. I know that many of my ponies have already died. I know that there are barely any guards left to protect us. I know that Twilight and Cadence aren’t in the right state of mind to assist us. I know the other elements have been taken out of the picture. I know that there’s no way for reinforcements to arrive. I know that I have a pony sitting in front of me who claims he’s a long dead prince and I know that I’M the one in charge and therefore the one who has to deal with it all. You want to know how I can ignore the law so easily?!” I raised my voice as I let my anger temporarily take over. For just a little bit of added dramatic effect I slammed my hoof down as I said “It’s because right now I AM THE LAW! There’s nopony else who can do my job! The princesses either can’t reach us or are out of their minds, the nobles are either dead or equally incapacitated and there aren’t enough left of the guard to form any sort of martial rule! The only thing keeping these ponies from completely losing it is me and I don’t need YOU screwing up the already unstable peace that I’VE managed to build!”

“So yes, I’m going to use a truth potion! And guess what? If that doesn’t work I’m going to use every other trick under the sun to make you talk! I don’t care who you are or how well you’ve been trained! BY THE TIME I LEAVE THIS ROOM I WILL EITHER KNOW THE TRUTH OR SOMEPONY WILL BE WIPING UP YOUR INNARDS FROM THE FLOOR!” I was on my hind hooves now, leaning over the table as I glared directly into his eyes. My voice had risen to levels that would have made DJ’s around the world proud and I could see the fear in his eyes. I didn’t have time for this pony’s bull, and I made that abundantly clear. I sat down after taking a moment to catch my breath. “Whether you live or die makes no difference to me. Either way it’s one less problem for me to deal with.” The numerous ponies in the room looked at me with shock, but I was too tired to care. I shouldn’t have to deal with this. Why was I dealing with this? Once everything hit the fan I just took over on instinct. I didn’t really think about what I was doing and now here I am ordering around troops like I’ve done it my whole life.

Then again, maybe I had. It’s not like I would know.

The pony claiming to be Shining looked down at his glass and quickly poured the concoction down without another second thought. I waited for a few minutes to let that potion take effect then began the interrogation.

“Basic questions. Name?”

“Shining Armor.”

“Birthday?”

“Twentieth of June.”

“Wife?”

“Cadence.”

“Children?”

“None.”

Our conversation continued like that for half an hour. Question after question he got right all while under the effects of a potion that wouldn’t allow him to lie. From what I could tell he was the real deal. Everything he said matched up with all of his known history and even some of his unknown history, and by that I mean little stories Cadence had told me and nopony else. He even knew the song they used to sing.

Yet I couldn’t shake the feeling that he was not to be trusted.

Still though, there was no evidence to prove that he wasn’t the real Shining, and his story even made sense. Shining had gone missing a long time ago while investigating a magical anomaly in the tundra. He made a wrong step and fell through the ice into a cavern hundreds of feet deep. He had reportedly exhausted nearly all of his magical reserves fighting a group of yetis who had randomly attacked his troops. He was so exhausted that not ten minutes before falling he had to be carried by his squad so there was no way for him to save himself leaving logic to dictate that he had no chance of survival. However according to him there were cloud pillars, soft spikes made of compressed clouds that had fused with crystals under the ground to make them tangible to all ponies not just pegasi, littered throughout the crevice which broke most of his fall on the way down. It still broke most of the bones in his body though and he was forced to live off a very special mineral water that exists in certain caverns here in the crystal empire. Supposedly you could drink it and it would supplement all the nutrients your body needs for weeks, even months at a time. I had them bring in a specialist to check and see if such water would have existed in the location he disappeared in, only to have that pony report that it was indeed quite likely. Once he healed there was nothing left to do but climb up and out and so, here we were.

As unlikely as it seemed, his story more or less checked out. However until I could actually send ponies down into the cavern to confirm his story, I couldn’t allow him to walk freely. Especially given current circumstances. The most I could do was remove the bonds on his hooves. He’d have to keep on the ring and stay in this room until I said otherwise.

Smart Cookie delivered her report during the interrogation and I was happy to find that everypony in the ball room was being fed from the personal kitchens. Evidently the guards stationed there figured that you can’t go wrong with a full stomach, and it looks like everypony in the room agreed. So for now ponies were happy and sated so I didn’t have to worry about any riots breaking out. Still I’d have to address them soon and that was a can of worms I didn’t feel like opening.

“Are you sure I can’t leave? I won’t even leave the guards side! I just want to help protect the empire!” I sighed, rubbing my temples as Shining tried to make a plea for some kind of freedom. Honestly I a part of me wanted to let him go. Shining was strong, no doubt about that, and with things the way they are I really needed that kind of extra strength. But I just couldn’t risk it. Unless…

“Shining… you’re good at making barriers, right?” Shining just smiled at me.

“The best.”

“If that’s the case then I think there IS something you can do to earn my trust…”

***

As I walked out of the war room I gave Smart Cookie a tired smile. One she returned in kind before asking me what I was going to do next. “Right now,” I said. “I’m going to go speak to Cadence and Twilight. It’s time to nip this issue in the bud. I need both of them with their heads on straight and I need them that way NOW. There’s just… there’s just no way I can do this without them.”

With that being said Smart Cookie and I turned down the hallway and made the long trek to Cadences room where the two princesses were waiting for me.

“Do you have any idea what you’re going to say?” Smart Cookie asked me as we stood in front of the door. Honestly I had no idea. My plan was to go in, say hello, and then wing it from there. Hopefully I wouldn’t sustain too many injuries.

“Well, wish me luck Cooks.” I said, and opened the door to what could very well be my own demise.

As the heavy door shut behind me I was greeted to the sight of an exhausted Cadence, a frazzled Twilight, and several royal guards. As luck would have it, the first pony to notice me was Twilight. She tried to muster up a death glare, but quickly stopped, too tired to care apparently. “What are YOU doing here?” she asked.

“Just, you know, stopped by to say hello.” Her head and ears immediately perked up at that.

“Say hello?” Twilight asked indignantly. “You stopped by… to say hello? Don’t you have an empire to run? Don’t think I haven’t caught on to your little game. It’s obvious what you’ve done. Toying with Cadences heart, messing with my head by bringing in a fake version of my brother. It’s obvious you’re working with Winter I just need to find the proof!”

“The only thing you need to do is find a screw driver so you can tighten the screws that have come loose on your head.” Twilight screamed in fury and aggravation before standing up on the bed, ready to pounce on me. All the guards stood at attention then ready to intercept her… until something unexpected happened.

Cadence, who had practically been catatonic this whole time, sat up, looked Twilight in the eye…

And slapped her.

The whole room just stood there quietly staring at the two, Twilights expression shocked and Cadences one of complete indifference. Now don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t Cadence slapping Twilight that was surprising. It was the fact that that was the first thing she had done in so long that took us off guard. According to the guards she hadn’t been reacting to anything since she’d woken up. She just laid there on the bed, staring off into space. Then when she finally stops, the first thing she does is slap a pony. Not what we were expecting.

“Twily…” She spoke, her voice barely more than a whisper. “That’s enough.”

“B-b-but,” Cadence softly placed a hoof on Twilights muzzle before shaking her head side to side.

“Twily, I know you’re upset. I know you’re hurting. I am too. But none of that is Rade’s fault. He’s not here to replace Shining. Until today he never did anything more than just be my friend. But look at us. We’re princesses, rulers of Equestria, yet we’re sitting in this room sulking like a couple of children while he makes sure things don’t fall apart. Now’s not the time for us to indulge in self pity. We need him.” Twilight stole a glance at me, before turning her head away in disgust and lying back down. She didn’t say anything else though, so I guess she was done with her outbursts.

“Rade… how bad is it?” Cadence asked. I looked away. Not really wanting to tell her but knowing I had no choice. I began to recount all the information that we had, summing it up in a few short sentences. Honeslty I could have said ‘we’re bucked’ and still told them the same amount of information.

“And… what about… that pony?” Cadence asked, her voice growing even lower, which I wouldn’t have believed possible had I not been hearing it. I looked straight ahead, not allowing any emotion to cross my face as I responded in the most professional manner possible.

“The pony claiming to be Shining Armor has thus far been cooperative and the evidence points to his claims being true. While final confirmation must still take place in order to let him go, the pony in question is, most likely, Shining Armor.” I could hear suck in a breath. No doubt she had heard it too and was just keeping quiet so as not to dignify me with any sort of response.

“But?” she asked. I didn’t respond choosing instead to look away as I didn’t want to voice my opinion. There was a good chance she had her husband back, I didn’t want to be a jerk and tell her I thought otherwise and that those feelings were based on nothing but a hunch.

Cadence stepped off the bed and walked over to me, leaning her head down and looking up so that I was forced to look her in the eyes. “Rade, I’m not asking for a report. I want your opinion. Is that the real Shining Armor?” I hesitated. I was at war with myself, if I lied her whole world would probably light up, not to mention that it was most likely true. But if I told her how I honestly felt it would probably crush her… and maybe save her sanity if it somehow turns out he’s a fake. After some intense internal debate I decided to tell her how I felt.

“No. No I don’t think that’s him Cadence. But you shouldn’t listen to me. That’s just how I feel. All the evidence points to-” I was cut off by a pink hoof being placed on my mouth. To my surprise Cadence was… smiling. It was a teary fragile smile, but a smile nonetheless.

“It’s alright Rade. Thank you for telling the truth.”

“You’re uh… you’re wel- oof!"

She put a hoof on my shoulder before leaning into me. She didn't hug me, she just kind of... fell on me. Instinctively I moved my arms up to catch her, holding her as she put all of her body weight on top of me. She placed her head right next to mine and her shallow broken breathing caused me to realize just how terrible of a state she was in. Cadence... she was at the end of her rope. Too much more and...

"Rade... I can't keep doing this." She whispered so low I I could barely hear her even though she was so close. "My kingdom is in tatters and the pony I loved can't decide if he's alive or dead. Before you came all I wanted was to be left alone. Left alone to wallow in my misery. Left alone to run away from all the things that hurt."

"And then out of nowhere, you showed up. You didn't judge me, or look down on me for just not wanting to deal with the world. When a noble would come to me and say something he knew would hurt me and all I wanted to do was say 'Buck It' others would always tell me that I was just avoiding my duties and I should suck it up because that's how things are. But you? You'd look me in the eyes, say 'Okay' and proceed to sneak into the hall of legislature, find that nobles chair, and loosen all the screws so the next day the chair would break in front of everypony."

"I don't know what you're talking about. Big Bucks broke his chair because of his big butt. Not me. But hey if you want to credit me for it by all means go ahead." I said with a laugh. I even got a little chuckle out of her too.

"See? Just like that. Every time it hurts you go out of your way to put a smile on my face. To fight off the pain for just a little while longer. And when none of your other methods would work and I was inches away from a breakdown you'd force me to stop everything I was doing. You'd take me by the hoof as I fought to hold in my tears, stroking my mane all the while as you led me to my room. You'd lay me down in bed, and get the maids to bring the biggest tubs of ice cream we had. And I would just sit there and eat and cry while you read me a story or played me a song until I fell asleep. And now... now that's all I want. I just want to go back to that. Not back to having my husband, not back to the easy days of foal sitting Twilight. No, I just want to lay down in bed and throw a temper tantrum until I go to sleep like I have all this passed month because you know what? I don't know if it's the real Shining, and frankly I don't care. Because you're here now. You're real now. And you're taking care of everything he would have and more. I don't need him to run be a knight in shining armor that will save me because you're handling it just fine on your own.

"I know it's selfish to ask this of you after you've done so much for me, but please if you would just do this one thing for me, this one last teeny tiny thing, I would be so, so happy." She shifted her head just a bit so she could look me in the eye. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she made her request. "Do what he couldn't do. Come home safe."

Those words... they hit me hard. For a number of reasons. It felt... it felt like I had heard those words before... and failed to live up to them. Now here I was, being presented with the challenge a second time and in that moment I could feel a fire burn through me like nothing else I'd felt before. I pulled Cadence in close to me, gripping her tightly as a fierce look of determination fell on my face. "I promise Candy." I could hear muffled sobs coming from my chest as she cried. We sat there in silence, wrapped in a warm embrace as I gently pet her mane. I knew the eyes of the guards and the demon pony were watching me, but I honestly didn't care.

All good things must come to and end though, and eventually she managed to compose herself and look at normally.

“So what are we going to do now?” She asked me. “Do you have a plan? Anything to get us out of this mess?” I gave her a slight nod which brought the first complete true smile from her I’d seen all day. I noticed many of the guards ears swiveling in my direction. No doubt they noticed my confirmation.

“It’s risky Cadence. Completely insane actually, and it’s going to require the help of everypony that we have. And some pony feathers… and some fur… and lots of unicorn horn shavings… and the shattered pieces of the Crystal heart which will most likely become unusable after all of this so I really hope somepony knows how to make a new one. Can’t forget about oil, any kind of bags like potato sacks or something, and some random planks of wood! Ooh, and I’ve heard we’ve got a huge storage of fire rubies that have been modified for weapon use. If that’s so I need a lot of those. I also need chalk. Oh and salt! Lots and lots and lots of salt! Ooh! And a Fez! That’s the most crucial ingredient! I think that’s everything. Do you think we can scrounge up that stuff?” Twilight, and every guard in the room looked at me like I was completely insane, a fact that was honestly quite debatable at the moment. Cadence however just smiled, knowing full well that whatever I was cooking up in my mind was twice as insane as the ingredients made it sound and more than effective enough to get what I wanted done.

“We’ll get as much of that stuff as we can Rade.”

“Yes!”

“Except the Fez.”

“DAMNIT!”

Author's Notes:

Alright I know how I said there was going to be this huge OMFG WTF WHAT JUST HAPPENED moment in each of the next two chapters. Well there's not. At least not in this one. See the previous chapter, this chapter, and the next one, were in my head short enough to all fit into one big chapter. Once I got typing though, I ended up typing something that was around 20,000 words long and so I had to split it up. Don't worry though, the next chapter is already finished I just have to complete my edits so you'll see it either tomorrow or, if you're lucky, later today.

Also 100 Internets to whoever can name all the references! (25 Total)

OH! One last thing! To celebrate reaching a over 1000 views, I figured I'd do something special. So if you go on my blog you'll find a Q&A where you can ask questions to either Rade, Smart Cookie, Willow, Sunburst or even me if you prefer. If it's popular enough I may even do it more in the future!

Futile Efforts

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I stood there looking up at the massive double doors that separated us from the outside world, or to be more specific, Winters army. I sat down blowing on my bubble pipe and adjusting my fez. I was surrounded by my entourage of guards. Smart Cookie stood to my left trying and failing to look intimidating as her body shook in fear. Cadence was on my right still holding up the barrier. Sunburst was directly behind me having replaced her usual spear with a dangerous looking halberd. I looked over the checklist Twilight had provided me one last time. Since telling her my plan her attitude toward me had changed considerably. She, like many others, believed me to be nothing more than a simple prankster. But apparently after watching me take control of the empire as we got this trap set up, she had come to realize that I was actually pretty bright, I just don’t like to show it.

That and I wasn’t an evil monster hell bent on taking her brothers place, corrupting Cadence, and then attempting a total take over of Equestria.

I looked down the list one last time, blowing bubbles from my pipe as I mentally checking things off in my head. The materials had been gathered. The traps had been set. The ponies had been informed and taken their positions. Everything was as it should be. Nearly everypony still left agreed to help my high risk high reward plan. Truthfully, this plan didn’t have much chance of working but it was all we had. If it failed, we were dead. If we did nothing, we were dead. If it succeeded though, at least some of us would get out alive. And some is always better than none.

After affirming for the final time that everything was in place I took a few steps forward before turning around and looking at the small crowd of ponies that were with me. They would be with me for what would be the hardest part of the trap.

Pissing off Winter.

Now I know you’re thinking that that’s going to be so easy, but it’s really not. I don’t know what’s wrong with Winter, but his minds been addled by something and I’m not sure what, probably this ‘mother’ person. Whatever it is it’s severely affected the way he interacts with the world making him far more proficient than he would normally be. He’s not going to monologue… much. He’s not going to gloat. He’s here to kill us all, kidnap the princesses, take this kingdom for his own and he’s going to choose the most effective method of doing that possible.

For my plan to work though I need to lure him to a specific room, and right now he’s far too calculating to fall for a ploy as simple as leading him to the ballroom. That meant I had to take away that cold reasoning of his. And anger is the third leading cause of bad decision making next to alcohol and young fillies enacting the power of D’aww to get what they want. Since I couldn’t exactly invite Winter in to sit down and have a few drinks and I wasn’t about to risk the lives of innocent children in such a way, that left us to have to try to shove the hardest, sharpest, and most jagged stick we could fine up Winters ass. A task that, as I stated earlier, was easier said than done.

But if I had learned anything in this past month, it was this. You can’t make everypony happy…

But you can always, always, ALWAYS annoy them to the point of legitimately considering murdering you. A point I was always happy to reach with anypony I didn’t like.

So to this end I was going to have to pull out all the stops. Nothing would be sacred, everything would be permitted. The dirtiest jokes, the most inappropriate of gestures, I’d even gotten permission to use the very best jokes I had on Candy’s rear if I thought it would work.

And so here I was standing in front of the door ready to piss off Winter. I was even dressed for the part, with a nice red fez on my head and a toy pipe that blew bubbles which I had acquired for the pure purpose of reinforcing the fact that I honestly didn’t give a buck about how he felt to anything any of us said. Some of my guards had even joined in on the fun, putting on fake mustaches and goofy hats and other weird baubles, including Cadence, who had a pot on her head.

I had even heard talk that Willow had put on an erotic nurses saddle just to show her support. Which while it caused quite a stir among most ponies who didn’t know her, honestly didn’t surprise me. It WAS Willow after all. She wasn’t fighting of course. She was with Princess Twilight and all the ponies who were either too injured, too scared, or too young to fight. The infirmary had been heavily enchanted so that it would be difficult to locate unless you knew what you were looking for. Any of the Windigos who saw it would see nothing but an empty hallway unless they actually bothered to look and try to find what was inside. And we planned on keeping them too busy for that.

If push came to shove and all else failed and everything fell apart, Twilight had orders to take everypony in the infirmary and try to get them out using the chaos as cover for their escape. I prayed to Faust it wouldn’t come to that.

I looked up at the giant imposing stone doors one final time. I took in a deep breath, closing my eyes as the air filled my lungs before letting it out in a long sigh. I held the checklist up and burned it, the signal to all those behind me that it was time. They formed up, absolutely not ready to take on the whatever was coming at us, but more than willing to do so nonetheless. With fierce determination in my eyes I pushed the stone doors open and stood on the crystal steps that led down to the crystal paved streets. A few yards ahead of me was Cadences blue barrier and a few yards behind that stood Winter and his army. As I stared Winter down I blew a few bubbles out of my pipe before pulling it out and saying the words that would bind my fate and maybe even go down in history.

“Ello King Snowbutt! I’m baaaaaaaaaaack!”

***

“…”

“Oh cheer up Rade!” Cadence said as she zapped another Windigo with her magic. I just continued running, not bothering to respond. Smart Cookie tried to put on a small smile as she ducked under another windigos attack. Not that I cared… that mare had stolen my thunder.

“I said I was sorry! How was I supposed to know that would work?!” I just grimaced as I jumped up and smashed a windigo into the ground. Half an hour. The guards and I had spent half an hour yelling out every insult under the sun at Winter and nothing had worked. Tartarus he never even blinked. He just stood there regardless of what we said or how inappropriate we got. We called him names, made rude gestures, discussed religion and politics, everything that would normally make a pony go on a frenzied rampage was thrown at him and it had no effect.

Then all of a sudden Smart Cookie, who had been cowering in fear nearly the entire time and hadn’t spoken once, managed to squeak out calling Winters mom fat. And APPARENTLY that was the tipping point! My very best material is tossed aside like it was nothing, but Cooks all but WHISPERS an insult, and suddenly Winters sole purpose in life is our total annihilation.

Yes. I know. It’s petty. But annoying people was practically the closest thing I had to a special talent! I am not a happy pony at the moment. Regardless though I guess I don’t really have the room or time to complain seeing as how I’m being chased through the halls by hundreds of Windigos.

Of course, this is exactly what I wanted.

The moment Winter shattered the barrier everypony that was with me splintered off into different directions, all of them separated into different groups of two and three. This was stage two of my plan: Divide and Capture. Extensive research into windigos found that so long as their leader was strong enough, they wouldn’t die. At least, not very easily. Killing any windigo is hard due to their natural regenerative ability, killing them when they have a leader as powerful as Winter is just downright impossible.

However in any battle the goal isn’t necessarily to kill your opponent. No, the true goal is to simply make it so THEY can’t kill YOU and do it the quickest, easiest way possible. Normally the quickest and easiest way is to kill them first, but in this case that wasn’t an option. What WAS an option however, was capturing them. Windigos may be able to reform after every strike, but if you take what you break and shove it in something too small for them to reform in, they’ll get stuck and won’t be able to fight back.

That’s what we were heading to do now. As we turned a corner I heard the satisfying sound of multiple windigos exploding into clouds of snow as they failed to make the turn, relieving some of the pressure that was chasing us. It wasn’t much of a reprieve though, as more quickly took their place and the ones that did crumble wouldn’t stay down for long.

As I looked ahead I could see a small glowing pink light in the rafters. Completely unnoticeable if you didn’t know where to look. I smiled as I turned my head to both Cadence and Smart Cookie respectively. Cadence nodded in return, the pot on her head, shifting around awkwardly as we ran. Cooks just looked terrified, sucking on the bubble pipe I’d given her like it was a pacifier. The hall was coming to an end, branching off to the left and right. Cadence, Smart Cookie, and I skid to a stop and turned quickly towards the incoming windigos. As predicted they were so surprised by our action that they stopped in their tracks, rather than swarming me.

Just as planned.

With a big smile on my face, I pulled my red and blue spectacles out of the pouch I had around my neck and placed them on my eyes. Looking over the crowd of snowy demons, I uttered the special code word we had made specifically for this moment.

“Allons-y!”

Doors all along the corridor opened up revealing dozens of ponies holding small gems. With a war cry they each threw their respective gems as hard as they could into the crowd of unsuspecting windigos where they fell seemingly harmlessly on the ground. The windigos looked around confused, some of them even poking the gems to see if they’d do anything.

As quickly as the doors had opened they’d closed back up. The windigos all looked back to me, staring in confusion at the smug look on my face. I adjusted my fez, gave them a quick wink and then used the trigger word.

“Geronimo.”

Each of the many red gems suddenly flashed orange a few times before a exploding with incredible force, scorching everything in the hall. The pink light from before suddenly shone bright as Smart Cookie, Cadence and I watched safely from behind a pretty pink force field, courtesy of our resident undetermined prince. I watched as the flames died down, leaving nothing but black soot and a huge pile of snow from the group of windigos. The doors opened again, this time the ponies charging out with bags and boxes as they quickly shoveled the snow inside. Guards had taken up position at the other end of the hall as they watched for more windigos, and Cadence was blasting away any that managed to reform. After a good minute or so we began to hear wing beats and whistling wind in the distance. Everypony packed up what they had, threw them into the empty rooms, and took off to the next destination. When the hall was clear I took some of the remaining fire rubies, waited for it to get full of a few more windigos, before tossing them all down the and activating them, buying extra time.

Candy, Cooks, and I continued this process over and over for what seemed like an eternity. And we weren’t the only ones. Checkpoints had been made all over the palace, where ponies sat in waiting. Then some of the other guards that had been with me originally would come through, shout the code words, and the next thing you know BOOM! Windigo pieces everywhere! Of course this method was a bit obvious so it didn’t take them long to figure out what we were doing, though by that time we’d easily cut down a third of their forces. Far more than what I was expecting. I was secretly happy Cooks said what she did, as the effects were showing. Winter was charging his troops blindly through the halls of the palace. Not caring how many he lost nor paying attention to where he sent them. Hurray for blind fury!

Next up was stage three which I came to call ‘Moths to a Flame’. After that all that was left was stage four. Stage three required far less ponies, and so as instructed most of the citizens and the weaker guards left their posts, their jobs complete, and took the special ‘safe’ routes to the infirmary. These routes were covered by Shining’s shield spells, allowing them to slip in and out of the different rooms and halls with relative ease as they made their way. As we rounded another corner we came upon one of these groups and I said my hasty yet reluctant goodbyes to both Cadence and Smart Cookie. Cooks earlier injuries may have been minor, but they had still taken a bit of a toll on her body and the painkillers had likely worn off hours ago. She might have been fit for stage one, but she wasn’t in good enough condition for stage two. And besides, I’m pretty sure she’d reached the limit of her courage. As for Cadence, I needed her with Twilight to help in case we needed to evacuate. If things were going to go wrong, this would be where they would.

So far all we’d been doing was running about dealing as much damage as possible. Now we had to do something completely different. We had to lead them to the ballroom. As I was running I was approached by my new partner, Sunburst, who in turn had been chased by a very large number of windigos.

My legs burned and my breathing was labored as we sped around another corner, but I didn’t put any thought into it. I was being chased, running for my life as I dodged and parried attack after attack from my wintry adversaries. As we rounded yet another corner to yet another hall I saw exactly what I wanted to see. A slick and shiny liquid substance puddled on the halls floor. Looking around some more I found that there were old buckets and boxes scattered about near the exit of the hall. To the windigos it looked like nothing more than piles of debris. But to me it was it was a very crucial target. reached into a bag given to me by one of the civilians and pulled out another fire ruby. Sunburst and I picked up our speed and slid through the halls exit where I then dropped the ruby before continuing down another path. Saying the magic word held my breath as I heard the explosion, never bothering to look behind me. No it was more important to look up at this moment. Good thing I did to as I had just barely enough time to dodge a falling crystal shard three times as big as me. This was the grand plan of stage three. The windigos chase us deeper and deeper into the heart of the palace where the ballroom is located, this in turn pulls the main force further and further away from the infirmary which sits at the castles western most edge. Allowing them more time to escape if need be. While that’s happening though we’re using oil and other large amounts of incendiaries and explosives to bring down entire sections of the palace. Collapsing entire halls and rooms to cut and forcing all of the remaining windigos to a single solitary place. Great for my plan, but it’s also a deadly double edged sword.

Every route we destroy to keep them going where we want, is one less route for us to use to escape. Essentially if you don’t make it to the ballroom, then you simply just don’t make it.

But I didn’t have time to think about that. My only concern was sticking as close to my predetermined route as I could, bringing down as many structures as possible on the way. Though I know it was only mintues of running, it felt like days, even years, as my heart beat faster and faster in my chest. As we turned the final corner my eyes met a lovely sight. The large double doors of the ball room. Sunburst and I looked at each other, nodded, and put on one final burst of speed as we crashed our way through the doors, dropping all of our remaining fire rubies in crates located right outside the entrance. Had I not been expecting it, the sight inside would have terrified me.

Hundreds of windigos sat patiently on the rooms outermost edges. Some spun lazily in the air, whipping up small flurries with each flap of their wings, others reclined on what was left of the once great golden chandelier, now a pile of twisted metal on the floor. I cringed inwardly when I looked at the center of the room. Three guards, all pegasi, two mares and a stallion, were all that had made it. They were all missing their helmets which just so happened to be the piece that made them all look alike. The two mares were probably twins, definitely sisters at least and one of them was passed out and being held by the other. Most likely from her wounds. The stallions armor suggested that he was banged up pretty bad, but the stallion himself held his posture in a perfect defense stance in front of the two girls, his wings flared teeth barred in a snarl. Sunburst and I walked over to him and the two mares before finally stopping to rest. Windigos were still pouring into the room and Winter himself had yet to arrive so we had at least a little bit of time.

I looked over the three pegasi guards who’d come all this way and figured, hey, if we’re going to do this, might as well know who these brave souls are. “So… who are you three?”

The stallion was the one to answer. “I’m Lieutenant Thunderlane sir. This is Cloudchaser, and the pony she’s holding is her twin sister Flitter.” Ah so they are twins.

“It’s nice to meet you all. I must commend you Thunderlane. You’re quite noble to stand so defensively in front of those girls.” He blushed a bit at the compliment while Cloudchaser just snickered.

“He better be defensive! Flitter and I didn’t marry a weakling!” My eyes widened in surprise at this.

“You’re a herd?”

“Yes sir.” Thunderlane replied. “We knew each other ever since we were children. Cloudchaser and Flitter grew up in the orphanage in my town. We were good friends back then but shortly after my younger brother was born my parents died and we ended up in the orphanage alongside them. After that we all worked together to take care of my brother Rumble. To be honest he sees me less as a sibling and more as a father and to him Flitter and Cloudchaser are his mothers, not that we have any issue with that.” He said with a smile.

“Good, good. I hope we make it out of this alive somehow. I’ll… do my best to get you back to him.” The two nodded their heads at me. We sat a while longer in silence before Cloudchser suddenly spoke up.

“Master Radiance.”

“Call me Rade, Cloudchaser. If this isn’t the best time to be informal I don’t know when is.”

“Alright. Rade then. I have to ask, just who are you? Don’t get me wrong I’m not trying to be rude or anything but… nopony knows anything about you. You just showed up one day after losing your horn when princess Cadence crashed into you. After that you were all over the news because of your famous Discord worthy pranks. When I got here I thought I was going to meet a complete goofball. But you’re… you’re nothing like that. Crazy ponies can’t take charge of an empire at the drop of a hat with no prior experience of any kind. Crazy ponies can’t command an entire military force comprised of modern and out of date soldiers and use them effectively. Crazy ponies can’t single hoofedly convince an entire city to help them fight a guerilla war. And most of all, crazy ponies don’t WIN.” I couldn’t help but chuckle at her comment. The more you looked at it, the less it made sense I had to admit.

“Cloudchaser, as much as I hate to admit it, I’m just as lost as you are. What they say in the papers is, sadly, the truth. I honestly don’t know who I am. Sometimes I don’t even feel like I know WHAT I am. It’s all I can do to just to live my life one day after another. And if you’re looking for an explanation on how I’ve done everything I’ve done in the past twenty four hours, I’m afraid you’re going to have to look elsewhere because the only answer I can really give you is that I was there. When all hell was breaking loose I noticed that nopony else had any idea what to do. Well I did. I had ideas I mean. Thoughts, plans, ways out. So I took initiative. I told ponies my plans and made sure they went through with them. To be honest, there wasn’t much more to it than that. In my personal opinion, I wound up in charge today not because I had any idea as to what I was doing, but because I had any ideas AT ALL.” Cloudchaser looked down for a moment as if pondering my words.

“Huh, when you put it like that dealing with a crisis doesn’t seem so hard. You just have to think fast.”

“Pretty much.”

After that we continued to sit in silence. Cloudchaser and Thunderlane were fawning over their fallen herd mate, while Sunburst and I sat back to back, watching the windigos intently. I grabbed the pouch around my neck, feeling the two small jars inside. My plan A and plan B. This was the final stage of my operation. We’d come as far as we were going to go. If I didn’t stop them here, there was nothing we could do. It was all over and the crystal empire was doomed.

“Rade,” Sunburst called. I turned my head a bit, swiveling my ears to hear her better. “Do you think we’re going to get out of this alive?” Thunderlane and Cloudchaser both looked at me expectantly, until Flitter suddenly began to stir tearing their attention away from me.

“Honestly Sunburst, I have no idea. I hope so.”

“Tch, hoping is pointless. The only thing that matter is results. Honestly, I think we’re going to die. Plain and simple.”

“Well I won’t say I disagree, but I definitely don’t agree either. I’m not going to give up hope that someway somehow we’re going to make it out of this alive.” I paused to think for a moment. “Hey Sunburst?”

“Yeah?”

“I’ve heard that you’ve always been a loner in the guard. That you never talk to anypony, especially about your past. Now I don’t mean to pry, but this could very well be your last chance to talk about it. I’m all ears if you want me to be.” I looked to my left to find that the mare known as flitter was now completely conscious. Good for her. If we died here, then it only feels appropriate that they should die together as a family. At least they had that.

Me? All I had was my few tiny memories and this years winner of the optimism award.

“Hmph… tell you what Rade. We get out of this alive, I’ll tell you my whole life story. How’s that sound?” I smiled.

“Sounds perfect Sunburst. Might I ask why though?”

“… two reasons. The first is that I’ve never lost a bet so now we’re practically guaranteed to die. The second… well you’ll understand that IF you hear my life story.”

“Heh, make that WHEN.” I joked, eliciting a chuckle from the both of us. That was the last of our conversations. The herd next to us kept chattering about something, but I didn’t bother to listen. This was their personal time, perhaps their last. It wouldn’t be right for me to eavesdrop. Instead I thought back to my life, what little of it I could remember. One month. That’s it. Just one month worth of memories and a few weird dreams. As I looked back on my relatively short life, a smile came to my face. Yes it was short, but it was also quite happy. Plenty of smiles, lots of laughs. All in all, not so bad. Short and sweet.

I looked down at my hooves and noticed something buried in the snow. Shifting the ice around I picked up the strange object, only to realize it was a shard of the crystal heart. There were dozens of these little shards scattered throughout the whole room as they’re crucial to my back up plan. Realizing this shard was particularly smaller than the rest I decided to pocket it for myself, placing it in the pouch around my neck. If my plan didn’t work with the other shards, this one wouldn’t make a difference anyway.

I was cut from my wonderings as something moved in the corner of my eye. As I looked to the entrance of the doorway, I noticed the Winters black ice creeping up the sides of the walls. Soon his heavy hoof steps began to reverberate through the room. Sunburst and I both turned to face the doorway, while Thunderlane stood defensively in front of Cloudchaser and Flitter.

When he entered I couldn’t say I was too surprised to find his demeanor had changed back into the stoic uncaring void it was before. “You’ve been a real thorn in my side, unicorn.”

“Screw you, Snowbutt.”

“Still defying me with useless words? I don’t know if you’re brave or stupid. Not that I care. It makes no difference to me. You’ll be dead soon either way. I know you’re trying to evacuate what’s left of the crystal empire. It’s not going to work.”

“Perhaps, but I have hope in my heart that it will, so maybe I’ll get lucky.”

“Hope? Hope will get you nowhere unicorn. Only results mean anything in this world.” Sunburst elbowed me in the ribs.

“Told ya.”

“Yeah yeah whatever. Look just hold still so I can beat you and we can all go on our merry way. Me back to a peaceful life of pranking in the palace, and you to eternal damnation in Tartarus. Sound good?” Once again I got that deep throaty moan that that monster seemed to call laughing.

“You? Beat me? How exactly do you plan on doing that. I have an army!”

“And I have a fez!” I said, drawing myself up to full height.

“A fez? Are you even trying to take this seriously?” I made a mock gasp at the accusation.

“How DARE you?! A fez is ALWAYS a serious topic. And whenever I have a fez on, all talk immediately becomes serious, even if it isn’t. Because that’s what fez’s do, make things serious. Get with the program Winter. Seriously.” Winter rolled his eyes at me in annoyance. Or at least I think he did. Kind of hard to tell when he doesn’t have any pupils.

“Ugh, I can’t believe YOU’RE the pony that’s causing me such a headache.”

“And I can’t believe you’re still allowed to walk around in public with that ugly face of yours!”

“Tell me is this the extent of your plan? To lead us into this ballroom?”

“To be honest this is actually my plan B. I was hoping it wouldn’t have to reach this point.”

“Oh really? Then what was your plan A?” I snickered.

“To insult you so badly you pissed yourself and went crying home to your mommy like a three year old!” I laughed. Sure, this guy could kill me in an instant, but it’s so much more fun to laugh in the face of death than cower before it.

“Arrogant little-! ENOUGH! I tire of this childish banter. Do you have any last words?”

“A few. Namely that I have no intention of losing today, due to this!” I rummaged around in the pouch around my neck before pulling out a strange bottle with a small orb of yellow light inside. I held it up for winter to see, not that he cared.

“What’s this? A fairy? I’ll give you credit, catching one isn’t easy.” I smirked. He had no idea.

“Let’s have a little history lesson.” Groaning sounded through the entire room as windigo and pony alike voiced their disgust of learning. “Oh come on this is the fun type of history lesson! There’s explosions!” And now there’s excited murmuring. Ah explosions. You just can’t go wrong with explosions.

“Good, now that I have everyone’s attention. Tell me Winter one thousand years ago there was a period of time where all cultural and technological advancement ground to a halt due to a hundred years of constant war and oppression of various species. This period, later dubbed the Dark Century, saw events such as Discord, Nightmare Moon, Sombra, Tirek, YOU, and the mass breakout of demons from Tartarus, just to name a few. All of you descended upon the world and began to wreak havoc one after another. You did so much damage that there are hardly any remaining written records and the few creatures still alive from that time either refuse to speak about it or are so mentally traumatized they can’t remember anything. Even Celestia and Luna can’t remember anything other than the moments they defeated their foes. Heck there’s even evidence saying that the world was far more advanced and that the one we’re living in now is actually POST-APOCALYPTIC. So congratulations Winter you destroyed the world.” Of course that little comment would put a smile on his face.

“I know this. I was there after all. What’s your point?”

“My point happens to deal with everything that happened during that century, and the measures ponies took to protect themselves. The legends say that back then Celestia and Luna were the only guiding lights in a world filled with darkness. They led massive armies that consisted of much more than just ponies. Every race known to us stood under their banner and fought the oppression. Systematically crushing one tyrant after another. And when you manage feats like that, that leaves no room for mistakes. So in the event that they should die, the alicorn siblings decided they needed to leave a way for their charges to protect themselves, and so with the assistance of a unicorn whose name is lost to history, the princesses devised a way of storing their most powerful techniques inside of small containers so that their precious people would have a weapon should something ever happen. Or at least that’s how the legends go. The princesses swear that no such pony ever existed. But I digress.”

“Like all things in the Dark Century these weapons were of course forgotten until they were rediscovered some two hundred years ago. Realizing that such a weapon was no longer necessary, the princesses and rulers of other nations began a global search and destroy mission, eliminating all copies of the powerful devices.”

“I see. I never knew this during the war. Tell me though, what’s the point in rambling about a weapon that no longer exists?” I couldn’t help but chuckle. If the poor fool only knew!

“Oh you’ll see in a moment. Now a little known fact is that not just anyone had access to these weapons. They were carefully hidden away from the prying eyes of enemies. Few knew of their existence, fewer still their location, and only a small hoof full knew how to get them. Aside from Luna and Celestia, there are only two alive who would know the location of any of these weapons. One is the ancient dragon Seathe, and the other is a nurse pony here in the crystal empire known as Willow and she just happens to be a good personal friend of mine.”

“Again, what’s your point? Knowing the location of weapons that don’t exist can’t help you.” I let a large grin and an ominous laugh escape my throat. Was I being melodramatic? Yes. But with all I’ve done today I’ve earned that right!

“On the contrary Winter! I think it shall! You’re forgetting the most crucial piece of information so far! This-” I gestured to everything around us. “Is the Crystal Empire! A country that vanished a thousand years ago during the Dark Century! They weren’t here for the search and destroy mission two hundred years ago!” I have to say, watching the gears turn in Winters head was truthfully a sight to behold. His eyes darted from me to the lit up bottle in my head several times before it clicked. His ethereal eyes widened in fear as he suddenly realized the predicament he was in.

“Go my children! Stop him! Don’t let him open that bottle!”

“IT’S TOO LATE SNOWBUTT!” I shouted at the top of my lungs. I stood on my hind legs as I lifted the bottle overtop my head before throwing it to the ground with as much force as I could muster. The light went off like a flash bang, completely filling my vision and blinding me. When I could finally see again I looked up to behold a beautiful sight. Circles and patterns of light filled the sky above me, forming rings of runes that cast a gentle golden glow upon the room. In the center of the circles was a single glowing orb about the size of a pony. Tendrils of light twirled around, dangling from the runic rings. I could feel the powerful magic that had been absorbed into the spell. The sheer volume of it would have been suffocating for most ponies, but I was a bit on the higher side of things so it didn’t bother me. Nonetheless it was impressive.

But the spell was incomplete. This particular spell needed a target, or else the power would simply fade with no action to be taken. After all, that’s what made this spell so special. Even with all its powers, it was incapable of friendly fire. It would hit the assigned target with all of it’s might, and nothing else. With that knowledge I threw a hoof in the air for extra flair and said “Target: Windigos. Fire Celestia’s ultimate technique!”

“DAWN HAMMER!”

The orb of light that sat in the center of the rings began to glow bright as it shot down towards the ground. The beam soon grew in size as time seemed to slow down. Though it was a brief instant, it felt like I could see everything clearly. The beam consumed everything in the room. The windigos tried desperately to fight their fate, whipping up the harshest storms to form walls of ice as makeshift shields, but it was to no avail. The beam cut straight through their efforts like it was nothing. I could hear faintly hear Winter crying out in anguish somewhere in the background but I didn’t have enough time to look back before my vision was once again consumed in bright light. After what felt like an eternity the light died down and I was able to look around once more. I couldn’t help but smile at the sight.

The room was empty, save for piles of fresh snow that used to be windigos. So far as I could see though none of them were regenerating. Or at least, not at a speed that they would be an issue anytime soon. Smiling I looked over to the other ponies in the room. Their cheerful faces staring right back at mine. We had done it! We-

“This… is not… over!” I froze. That voice… he couldn’t have. Slowly I turned my head and grit my teeth at the thing standing before me. There he was, the Windigo king. Still standing tall, though maybe standing isn’t the right word. Aside from his head, part of his torso, and his first two forelegs most of his black snowy body was still deformed and regenerating.

“Did you really believe… that a little toy like that… could kill ME?! I am Winter! The windigo KING! I have not taken that title for simple pleasantries like the late Sombra! I am a true King! One of power unmatched in this world! Nations rise and fall at MY command! Your precious princesses attack is nothing but a PARLOR TRICK in comparison to me!” he roared. To be honest I wasn’t entirely surprised by this turn of events. I had accepted the fact that this could very well be a possibility. That’s why I had my plan B. Still though, I wish I could have avoided using it.

“Still, I admire your tenacity unicorn. Few could have resisted me for as long as you have, and fewer still could have left my body in such a state. Let me hear your name, for you have been a truly worthy opponent.”

“Heh, guess it couldn’t hurt to tell you. My name’s Glorious Radiance. I’m Princess Cadence’s consort.” Something strange happened then. Winter started looking me up and down, as though he was trying to find something on me. Suddenly his eyes popped wide open and an almost… manic grin appeared on his face. He started laughing, but it wasn’t the calm chuckle I’d heard earlier. This laughter was boisterous and loud. The sheer strength of his voice alone sending shockwaves through the room.

“Glorious Radiance?! THE Glorious Radiance?! No wonder I’ve had so much trouble! I’d expect nothing less from you! No horn! No magic! Obviously no memories as well and you STILL manage to back me into a corner! HA! And to think, it is none other than I who will finally bring you down! ME! Destroying the one whom the goddess herself would flee from if faced in battle! Oh this is grand! This is absolutely perfect! Once I’ve crushed you my reign will be guaranteed! No one will stand against the one who defeated the almighty Glorious Radiance! Mother was right! I’ve followed her instructions to the letter and now I’ll have everything I’ve ever dreamed of!” I stood there staring in shock. King Winter… knew me? More than that, he was talking like defeating me was some kind of huge accomplishment. I wasn’t sure before but I knew now beyond a shadow of a doubt. This guy was completely insane. He was just really good at hiding it. I’ll admit, I’ve noticed that I have a bigger skill set and more magic than your average pony. I won’t lie I was definitely on the leader board for most powerful creatures in Equestria. But from what I could gauge of myself, I was somewhere around maybe the top fifty. Certainly nothing that this guy would be concerned about.

I’m nothing for a true King to be concerned about.

Still though, no matter how crazy he is I have to stop him, no matter the cost. I rummaged around in the pouch on my neck before grasping the final jar inside. I cast a single long look at the crystal heart fragment I had put in the pouch, a smile crossing my lips as a sense of peace washed over me. I turned my head to the other ponies in the room. The windigos we thought destroyed were finally beginning to regenerate, albeit much more slowly due to the state their leader was in. Sunburst, Thunderlane, Flitter, and Cloudchaser all looked at me with sad smiles. Together they nodded their heads. They knew what was coming, and they were ready. I nodded my head in return and closed my eyes as I took in a deep breath. When I opened them again I mustered up the fiercest look that I could manage as I turned back to the reforming king.

“Don’t count me down and out just yet Winter! I’ve still got one more trick left up my sleeve!” Winter barred his teeth in a snarl as he shot me a death glare. He was just a little over half reformed now so he still didn’t have the power to stop what was coming.

“Of course you do. You’re Glorious Radiance. You never give up hope no matter how bleak it gets. You're endless optimism is disgusting.”

“Heh, thanks for the compliment. As thanks I’ll give you a little explanation as to how this is going to end.” I held the final bottle up for him to see. The warmth of the orange flames trapped inside flowing through my hoof and spreading to the rest of me. “Magically enhanced Phoenix fire fueled by the power of positive emotions. Normally it’s used for helping ailing dragons who have found themselves injured or sick while in the tundra. So naturally it made sense that my good friend Willow would have a jar of it, since she’s the head nurse in the empires infirmary. Unfortunately for us, it’s only helpful for dragons. It sets any other living thing that gets near it ablaze!” At that moment I heard Sunburst shout ‘Geronimo’ and the fire rubies we’d set in the crates outside the door went off causing a cave in and blocking the only exit. I knew that somewhere out there the ponies in the infirmary had heard the explosion and were beginning to evacuate.

“So what? Flames like those could never grow hot enough to kill me or my children. All it would do is leave them half melted as the flames and regeneration are just would be working at the same speed. All we have to do is wait until it runs out of enough fuel to keep itself going. Which won’t be long since it will burn you too.” At that I couldn’t help but crack a smile.

“That’s where you’re wrong, Snowbutt. Take a look around the floor and tell me what you see?” Winter glared at me before doing as I said and scanning the ground. It took him a moment but his eyes finally caught on to what I was talking about. He reached down with one of his four reformed hooves and picked up a small piece of the shattered crystal heart. He turned it over in his hooves as he inspected it, obviously unsure of what it was.

“Wondering what it is Snowbutt? Heh, it’s the shattered pieces of the Crystal Heart! There are dozens of chunks scattered throughout the room and while they may not be able to absorb emotions anymore, they’ve still got enough love energy stored inside of them to keep this fire burning for years!”

“The only exits been sealed Winter and once I break this open you’ll be stuck in your current state, unable to muster enough power to break out! You and your windigos will just keep on burning until the princesses figure out what to do with you and who knows how long that could take! This is it Snowbutt! THIS IS OUR TOMB!” With those words I chucked the glass jar right at Winter face. He roared in pain as a fireball exploded around him, consuming his entire being. As the flames touched the living snow that made up the bodies of the other windigos the fire spread, quickly consuming the entire room as it slowly made it’s way to me and my companions. Winter began to thrash about as he roared in a mix of anguish and fury. I didn’t bother to pay attention to any of his remarks though. Honestly I didn’t care. All I knew was that it was over. I didn’t have to worry about anything else.

I had won.

I turned back to my companions. Shooting a grin their way as the fire raged on, eating everything in its path and filling the rooms with terrible screams. We all looked at each other with smiles on our faces. We were going to die, but that was okay. Because these deaths of ours wouldn’t be in vain. Of course that’s when I noticed something I wasn’t expecting. Far off on the other side of the room I could see a small pink circle that was obviously made of magic. It was slow, but the circle soon began to expand, opening in the center as it formed a ring just about the size of a pony. My look turned to one of confusion and curiosity, and soon the pegasi guards that were with me followed my gaze as well. Then a flash of light appeared in the ring center, and I gasped.

It was a portal. On the other side I could see Twilight and Cadence standing next to a none other that Shining armor as they poured all of their energy into a spell. Behind them was a huge crowd of ponies cheering and screaming as they waved their hooves in the air beckoning us forward. For a moment I was too shocked to think. They… they were saving us. I looked over to the others to find them stuck in shock as well.

“WE CAN’T HOLD THIS OPEN ALL DAY YOU KNOW!” Shinings sudden voice snapped me out of my reverie and got me back into action.

“COME ON GUYS! MOVE!” They just stared at me. “NOW DAMNIT!” That brought them to their senses and in a flash we had all shot towards the portal as quickly as possible. Sunburst took wing, grabbing the injured mare called Flitter and slinging her over her shoulder as she flew the both of them through the portal. Thunderlane and Cloudchaser quickly followed suit, flying as fast as they could and getting out of the room in record time.

All that left was me and it wasn’t looking good for me. I don’t know why but it seemed that my body decided that this was the time to let all of the running I’d done today take it’s toll. I pushed my very hardest breaking my body past limits it really didn’t want to. My breathing was hard and fast, my muscles screamed in agony begging me to stop. But I couldn’t, not now. Not yet.

It was times like these when I really envied pegasi and earth ponies. Sure everyones like ‘you can do anything with magic’ and yeah, you know what, that’s more or less true. Magic is potentially limitless in its possibilities. But you pop an inhibitor ring on or break off their horn and instantly you’re completely useless. And the fact that unicorn bodies are naturally very frail doesn’t help in the slightest.

In the end my wishing was pointless as I dashed through the portal right as it closed, falling and rolling across the ground before coming to a stop. I laid there panting trying desperately to catch my breath when I was suddenly assaulted from multiple sides by hugs from both Cooks and Candy.

“I can’t believe it Rade!” Candy shouted. “We did it! YOU did it! The crystal empire is saved and it’s all thanks to you!”

“I’m so happy you’re alive!” Cooks cried. I mean actually cried. The adorable little thing was shedding more tears than I thought possible as she jumped up and down squealing in delight. And she wasn’t alone. A crowd filled with thousands of ponies suddenly started screaming in joy as they congratulated and thanked me. They just kept going on and on about how I was their hero and yadda yadda yadda. As for me? I just wanted to breathe again.

“Cooks. Candy. Can’t. Breathe.” They both let go of me causing me to fall painfully on my butt.

“Whoops… sorry Rade.” Cadence said smiling sheepishly.

“It’s alright Candy. You just saved my life after all. I can hardly complain about a hug after you did something like that for me.” That put a smile on her face, which of course made me smile too.

“Actually Rade, it wasn’t me. Well I mean, I helped, but the one who cast and maintained the spell was him.” She said, and pointed her hoof over to Shining Armor, who was currently chatting it up with his sister Twilight. As I looked at him our eyes met and he began walking over to me. The whole crowd went silent as he stood in front of me, extending a hoof to help me up. One I took rather reluctantly.

“Radiance.” he said as I got on my hooves.

“Armor.” I replied. We continued to just stand there for a while, looking into each others eyes and trying to read what the other was thinking. But it was to no avail. Finally I decided to break the silence. While the feeling in my gut still said I shouldn’t trust him, there was no denying the evidence laid before me. This was Shining Armor, no doubt about it. And it was this very same Shining Armor that had just saved my life. So after taking a deep breath and letting out a long sigh, I did what I had to do and apologized.

“I’ll be honest when I say that for some reason I still feel like you’re an imposter. But I can’t refute the evidence placed in front of me stating otherwise just because of a gut feeling. Your story checks out, you’ve been nothing but cooperative since you arrived, and you’ve even helped save and protect the people of the crystal empire. I’m sorry for ever doubting you Prince Shining.” I said with a humble and reluctant bow. He smiled motioning for me to stand as he replied.

“Thank you. And you are not alone. I must apologize as well.”

“Whatever for?”

“For proving you right.” His words confused me, until I felt the sudden pain my chest. I barely managed to recognize the sound of screaming nearby as I looked down. A ghostly pink and black blade made of twisted magic sat skewered through my abdomen. I looked up, gazing directly back into Shinings eyes. He grinned devilishly and I was filled with an overwhelming sense of dread. His eyes went wide, his pupils shrinking down as a gleam of madness seamed to suddenly spark within them.

“SHINING!” Twilight shouted. “What are you doing?!”

That’s when Shining’s eyes changed color. The usual sparkling blue had been replaced by a deep blood red with slit pupils. The surrounding his eyes was the deep green coloration with wisps of magic pouring out the sides like tears. Those eyes, those were the eyes of a pony possessed by dark magic. Shining began cackling like a madman, his voice changing to a deep base. He left off a blast of magic from his horn, and suspending me in the air as he ripped a crevice in the ground so deep I couldn’t see the bottom. With another burst of magic, every unicorn in the room along with Cadence and Twilight quickly found their horns covered in dark black crystals. The other guards didn’t fair much better, their wings and hooves being quickly incapacitated by black crystal monstrosities that shot out of the ground and either outright killed them or left them too wounded to fight back.

“Well well well. Look what the cat dragged in.” he said. “It if isn’t Glorious Radiance. Tell me, do you recognize me?”

“You… you’re Sombra.” I croaked. I couldn’t believe this. Was this actually happening? Had I really beaten one tyrant, only to be brought down by another? This was wrong. This was so, so wrong! Had everything I’d done really been for nothing?!

“Hahaha! Very good! At least somepony recognizes me!”

“But… but how? The… serum. Your disguise… should have…”

“Oh ho ho. Come now, surely you can figure it out Rade. You always were the smarter one. Surely you can see that I AM indeed the REAL Shining Armor.” Oh. OH! I see now. The whole situation clicked into place then and there.

“Shining he… he died didn’t he? And you… you took his body… and made it your own. Veritaserum… is a potion. It only has… a physical effect. It forced your body to tell the truth but not your soul. You were able to lie… because your body… wasn’t lying. All you had to do… was access… the memories… stored in Shining’s brain… and you had all the information you needed… for a convincing… story. You bastard! You’re nothing but a… walking corpse!”

Sombra began to clap his hooves as he laughed. “Well done! Well done indeed! It’s nice to see your mind hasn’t dulled in the slightest. You’re quite right and now here I am! Returned in the flesh with a body of my own! When I came back before my powers were limited because I was little more than a specter, now though I’m back to my full strength! And with the added power I get from this young lads body, I have more than enough power to complete my mission.”

“M-mission?” Sombra smiled sadistically.

“Yes, the mission given to me by mother.” There it was again. Mother. I don’t know who this mother person is but she must be powerful if she’s managed to get control over not just Winter but Sombra as well. “She knew that Winter might fail, so she sent me here in secret to make sure things go… smoothly. And I assure you, I have no intention of making the same mistake as Winter. The reason he lost is because he didn’t eliminate you the first chance he had. But unlike him I know who you are and I am more than well aware of what you are capable of… brother.” I heard gasps ring through the crowd and my own eyes widened in shock. I knew I had had a dream about that but… to hear the real Sombra say that…

“I’m… I’m not your brother!” he just chuckled.

“You’re right. By blood we’re not related. But we were once inseparable to the point that’s what we considered ourselves to be. However those days have long since passed for me and you can’t even remember them so it matters not.” I jerked as he removed the blade from my chest, blood trickling out of the wound and staining my fur.

“DAMN YOU SOMBRA!” I heard a shrill voice cry. I mustered up what little strength I could trying to turn my head towards the noise to find Willow charging at Sombra full speed. Sombra just looked at her, smirking as he dodged one of her kicks. She wasn’t deterred though and continued to harass Sombra with every move in her arsenal. It was plain to see that she held nothing back and bared no expense in her fury. I have to say I was impressed. She was incredibly fast and each of her movements were perfectly precise. Had Sombra been a normal opponent, she would have easily crushed him.

But Sombra isn’t your normal opponent.

“My mother! My father! All of my friends! You took away everypony I loved!” she screamed as she tried to land a kick to his head. Sombra just held up his right fore hoof though, his leg not even shaking from as he held off her strong earth pony legs.

“My my, what’s the matter Willow? You mad? Ha! Fine then, if you miss your folks so much I’ll just send you to them!” He shouted before grabbing onto her leg and slinging her through the air… and straight at me. Willow hit me hard in the chest, and barely managed to grab hold of my suspended form. She just held onto me as we hung in midair, my blood staining her pure white coat.

“Huh, I thought for sure that would knock her out. Looks like it only dazed her. Her head must have gained in thickness these past one thousand years. Well, it’s been fun, but I’m afraid our time is up. I have to go release Winter from that insufferable trap you put him in and then proceed with killing every pony here in the Crystal Empire. Goodbye brother. I hope you rest well.” As he finished saying that he released the magical grip he had on me letting my broken body fall into the black abyss. I held on to Willow as tightly as I could. I had already lost a large amount of blood, and my consciousness was beginning to slip away from me. I had a pretty good feeling I wasn’t going to make it, but if I was right then underneath the palace is the crystal caverns that the empire is famous fore, if my body could cushion the blow, then Willow might just get out of this alive and that’s all that really mattered to me at that point. As the gap above closed up and the light faded away, the last thing I remember before blacking out was the horrid sound of a bugs buzzing wings.

Deleted Scene: Discord

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Here we are with yet another deleted scene. Please enjoy this little tidbit that was sitting on my computer incomplete for a long time. It makes less and less sense the further you read, but given that I wrote most of it while hopped up on several energy drinks and after not sleeping for two days, I think that's to be expected. I dunno, I think it's kind of funny. Hopefully you will too. Anyways, here's the scene where they cause so much chaos Discord comes out to play. I hope you enjoy!

“So uh… want to inform me why the female population has just increased by one?” Willow asked.

“It’s a loooooong story.” Cadence replied.

“Did he… or I guess SHE now, run through a little girls dreamland or something?”

“Well she certainly did a lot of running.”

Silence.

“Why is your mane in a ponytail?”

“Oh uh… you noticed?! I uh… I’m just… trying something new! Yeah! That’s it!” Cadence replied with a blush before quickly looking away.

“Yeah sure. You keep telling yourself that.”

“The only thing I don’t understand is the elephants trunk.” Cadence said.

“Which one?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean the trunk on her face or the trunk between her-”

“Why do you pervert every conversation we have? And she’s been turned into a mare. She doesn’t have a second trunk!”

“Because I haven’t gotten any in over a thousand years, princess.”

“That can be said for a good number of ponies here in the crystal empire. You don’t see any of them talking like that all the time.”

“That’s because it ISN’T like that for a good number of ponies.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Remember how the nobles all but kicked you and your late husband out for the first week after Sombra was gone?”

“Yes and I still don’t understand why.”

“There was a reason for that.”

“And that reason would be?”

“Everypony was jumping everypony else’s bones all week.” Cadance just stared at her in shock. Willow looked over at her, snickering at the look on the princesses face. “It’s the truth. We had to huddle all the children in the castle because the entire city had basically turned into one giant org-”

“WHY?!” Cadence said with a flushed face.

“Well that’s what happens when you seal an entire city away during heat week.”

“Ooooooookay! I’ve heard enough!”

More silence.

“Those things on his leg, are they glued to him?” Cadence asked after composing herself.

“They might be.”

“How do we get them off?”

“Hell if I know.”

“Should we throw a playcolt at them?”

“Already tried that.”

“And it didn’t work?!”

“Does it look like it worked?”

“A simple no would have sufficed…” Cadance said in a huff, crossing her arms and pouting.

“Whatever Candy. Have you tried all of the emergency magic?”

“Yeah, it’s completely ineffective… and don’t call me Candy.”

“Rade calls you that all the time.”

“And he’s the only one who can.”

“Wow, getting pretty far along in the relationship are we?”

“It’s not like that and you know it!”

“Pfft, for now maybe! But it’ll happen. Just you watch. Might even get a whole little herd going this time.”

“In your dreams.”

“Hey girls,” I called. “Can I get some help here?” I stood there in the middle of the infirmary. I had been turned into a mare, my right fore hoof was broken, my mane, coat, and tail had been scorched, I had been turned into a mare, my fur was smoking, my hooves were dirty and covered in mud, I had been turned into a mare, I had cucumber slices stuck in my mane, I smelled of twenty different types of perfumes, my tail was tangled and full of taffy candy, I was covered in chocolate sauce, I HAD BEEN TURNED INTO A MARE, had grown an elephant trunk, and I had several stallions hugging my hooves and trying desperately to seduce me by whispering sweet nothings into my ear because of a want it need it spell.

Did I mention I was a mare?

“Look, can you guys just help me out. Please? Candy you’re an alicorn. There has to be SOMETHING you can do? At least get rid of the stallions! And the elephant trunk…” I begged. Running around town like this earlier had been embarrassing enough. The last thing I needed was to give these two the satisfaction of ridiculing me.

“Alright alright.” Cadence closed her eyes, lit up her horn with a light blue aura, and just like that the want it need it spell, as well as the creepy elephant trunk, was gone. The stallions looked around, realized they had been enchanted, took a good look at the pony they were hugging onto…

And continued flirting.

“I AM A STALLION!” I shouted. At that they all suddenly let go of my hooves… except for this one stallion who was a little hesitant. Luckily I gave him my best death glare and he finally relented, following the others out the door. I shivered, feeling slightly violated and craving cheesecake.

Damn these womanly urges.

“While that was hilarious, would somepony mind telling me just what’s going on?” Willow asked. “And more importantly, am I going to have to smack a pony when I find out?” Cadence and I took glanced at each other, blinked, and then looked back at Willow with sheepish smiles.

“Son of a… look. Just tell me what happened while we get you cleaned up how does that sound?” I gave a happy nod before walking into one of the castles giant public baths and told recounted our story as we worked to get the gunk out of my fur.

***

“Rade…” Cadence whispered.

“…”

“Rade please…”

“…”

“Ugh… fine. Senor Quackers.”

“Yes senorita?” I asked in my best mexicolt accent.

“I’m not so sure this is a good idea.”

“Neither am I!”

“Well… that’s reassuring…”

“Is it? It wasn’t supposed to be.” Cadence let out a sigh as we snuck through the MBA (magical biologic anomaly) department of the crystal empires institute of science. It was easily around midnight and both of us were dressed properly for the occasion.

Okay Cadence was dressed for the occasion. I on the other hand was wearing a fake duck bill, monocle, an incredibly fancy mustache and a top hat. Yes none of those things make sense to wear but I figure that’s the point. It’s a lot harder to take a situation seriously when a pony is dressed like that, and hopefully that would buy Cadence and I those few precious seconds to get away should we get caught.

Also I demanded to be called Senor Quackers.

You know.

For reasons.

Anywho so here we are sneaking into a scientific facility to save Cadences reputation. Me being Cadences consort has of course caused rumors to fly around. So far the damage has been minimal at best as nopony has really been able to catch the two of us doing anything other than well… being complete idiots. Which given all the other things we’ve done… isn’t really that much of a story anymore. Unfortunately for us, the reporters had managed to get a few photos of one our more private moments.

Now as I’ve said before Cadence and I are strictly very good friends. That’s it. We rely on each other a lot and as such have become quite close. When Cadence had nearly had a breakdown when being questioned by reporters yesterday I did everything in my power to help her. So far ponies have been trying to get Cadence to admit that she and I are intimate, which Cadence always denies. That day hough they started a barrage of questions asking her how she could possibly take on a consort so soon after losing her husband, or in other words they were asking her as though she and I WERE in that type of relationship, despite having any evidence to support that. Normally that wouldn’t be so bad… if it weren’t in front of a crowd of onlookers. Onlookers who could hear the reporters shouting, but not hear Cadences answers overtop the reporters.

Basically they caused the entire nation to think we were bucking.

But that’s okay because I’ve come up with an ingenious plan! All we have to do is create an even bigger story than what the news is already reporting. And where else to get the materials for such things than a big facility that’s practically devoted to stuff that boggles the mind?

“Ah, here we are. Room 202.” I carefully pushed the door open, looking around inside for any guards or late night kiss as- I mean workers. “Look around Cadence. There has to be something in here we can use to cause mass pandemonium. Preferably involving actual pandas.”

“So look for magical sugar cane?” I just shrugged as I looked around the room. Only one set of bright white lights were on in the massive research area. Papers filled with complex calculations and notes of every kind littered desks and tables throughout the room. Experiments left out for whatever reason sat on metal roll carts in different areas. I think the strangest thing I saw were the dozens of copies of a strange bipedal creature wearing an orange parka that all sat around what seemed to be a runic teleportation device.

That’s when I saw something that really caught my eye. It was an intricate brown and gold chest that really seemed to stand out against the rooms otherwise blue and silver features. I waved Cadence over and together we opened the chest. Inside were several small burlap bags. We shot each other a curious glance before I picked up one and opened it slightly by pulling the string with my teeth.

Inside was a blue glittering powder that seemed to radiate magical energy. I raised my brow to Cadence who only shrugged before looking back down at the strange substance. Tentatively I poked it with my hoof as Cadence sucked in a quick breath, only for nothing to happen. After that I sniffed it. It was a pleasant scent, not necessarily good, but not bad either. It had a very mellow feel to it. With the first two most common scientific methods out of the way, I decided to shoot for the third, tasting it. So completely ignoring Cadences gasp of horror, I removed my duck bill, held the bag overtop my mouth, and poured a good amount of the contents in before swallowing it in a single gulp.

This got the results I desired.

First off let me tell you that it tasted HORRIBLE. Imagine the worst things you’ve ever tasted, now mash them together in a disgusting bowl. Now pour in rotten cockroach guts and dribble some snake venom on top for extra kick. Yeah, that’s what it was like. WORST TASTE EVER.

And that wasn’t all. My body suddenly felt like there was lightning coursing through it, though not the bad kind of lightning… mostly. I fell to the side in a coughing fit, trying to expel the vile substance from my body. I was only vaguely registering Cadence shouting my name.

After what felt like an hour it all came to a stop. I continued lying there for a bit, letting myself catch my breath as my body let out a few last involuntary spasms. As I stood up I noticed my head felt significantly lighter so I reached up only to find all of my props were gone.

I looked over to Cadence who just stood there, props held in a magical grip as she stared at me dumfounded. I looked around trying to see what had her so shocked, only to find nothing. Figuring it must have been me I raised my brow as I asked “What? Is there something on my face?”

Cadences hoof suddenly shot to her mouth as she tried to contain a sudden fit of giggles. I just gave her a deadpan stare. “Seriously what?”

“Oh… hehe… oh it’s nothing… GLORIA!” Suddenly Cadence is literally rolling on the ground laughing. Wait… Gloria?! Without a second thought I ran throughout the room looking for a mirror. After finally finding one I let out a high pitched scream. A VERY high pitched scream.

“WHAT THE BUUUUUUUUUCK?!” I screamed. I looked at my reflection to find that I had, in fact, become a mare. My normally spiky-ish mane had become long flowing locks that swayed gently with each movement. My tail, which generally had a more solid shape, was thinner and more fluid with its motions. I couldn’t believe I was a mare! Me! A mare! With long eyelashes! And a lustrous mane! And perfectly pedicured hooves! And… and… and…

And a drop dead gorgeous figure.

I went from being shocked and terrified about my predicament, to suddenly ogling myself in the mirror. I turned from side to side, examining every, and I do mean every, part of my newfound body. I found nothing in particular that I didn’t like.

“Hey Cadence… what did you call me again?” Cadence managed to suspend her giggles just long enough for me to answer.

“G-gloria! Hahahahaha!” I couldn’t help but crack a smile.

“Gloria… yeah… I could get used to that! Gloria Glimmer! The sexiest mare in all of Equestria!“ I said, waving my hoof in front of me as though placing the headline in the air. I took another look at myself in the mirror admiring my new form until a frown crossed my face. “Wait… no not quite. Candy do you have a hair tie?” Cadence having finished her giggling walked up to me and nodded before levitating a yellow hair tie out of her pocket.

As I fiddled with the hair tie Cadence decided to strike up conversation. “You’re awfully calm about this. Makes a pony wonder if you’ve done this type of thing before!”

“If I have I wouldn’t know. Still though, I have to admit. I’m pretty damn hot, even WITH a broken horn!” I said as I continued to struggle with the hair tie. Curse you hooves, do something right for once! Honestly, how do earth ponies get ANYTHING done?

“Having trouble getting your new incredibly long hair out of your face?” She said with a giggle.

“Nope.” I replied, my tongue now sticking out of my mouth in concentration. Cadence raised her brow in curiosity. “I prefer mares that like to wear ponytails a lot, so it only makes sense for me to wear one too given my current state.”

“OH! I-I-I-is that so?! C-c-c-cool. I um… that’s really cool!”

“I’m not sure how that’s cool exactly, but whatever you say Candy. Ah!” I exclaimed as I finally managed to twist the hair tie into place. “How do I look?” I asked turning around only to find Cadence in the middle of putting her mane up as well. “Uh… Candy? What are you doing?”

Cadence suddenly stopped while putting on her hair tie and looked at me, a heavy blush on her face. “O-oh me? I’m uh… just putting my hair up so I can see better! We still have to uh… sneak back out of here after all! Yup yup! That’s totally the reason!” She said, her ear giving away a nervous twitch.

“Candy.”

“Yes?”

“You’re a horrible liar.” Cadences ears flattened at that. “But you’re right. We DO still have to sneak out of here and we’re running out of time. Come on, let’s go check that chest and find out what that stuff was.” We both walked over to the chest as Cadence let out a small sigh. I didn’t really pay that much attention to it as she had been doing that over the last few days and I just chalked it up to some mare thing. Huh… maybe now I’ll understand it.

As we rummaged through the box I managed to find a small tag with some hoof writing. “Look here Candy. It says it’s concentrated poison joke! Evidently they changed it up so that the effect only takes place when ingested. Interesting…”

“Okay that’s nice but how is that going to help us? We’ve been here for a while and we still don’t have anything that can stop the media!” I continued to stare at the box as ideas raced through my mind. Suddenly a large devilish grin began to creep across my face, and I could hear Cadence faintly whimper as she recognized the look.

“Candy.”

“Yes?”

“According to this paper, there’s several barrels of this stuff nearby. We’re going to grab a few and high tail it out of here.” Cadence gulped as I let out a cackle of maniacal laughter.

***

“Isn’t it beautiful Candy?” I whispered as we stood together on a balcony overlooking the city. Chaos ran rampant through the streets as ponies realized what had happened. I just sat there with a big dopey smile as confusion soon overtook the city. Cadence just buried her head in her hooves as she tried to pretend nothing was happening.

“Rade we are going to be in SOOOO much trouble!”

“Ah it’ll be fine Candy! Don’t worry! There’s no way the news won’t cover this and everypony will be laughing it off in a week. It’s only poison joke after all. It doesn’t actually do anything life threatening. It’s just inconvenient.”

“Ah, the sound of chaos in the morning! I do so love it!” Cadence and I jumped and turned around at the sound of a third voice. Floating in the air wearing a Hawaiian shirt, sunglasses and sipping on a coconut (and I do mean the actual coconut itself) was none other than the strangest mix matched creature I’d ever seen in my life.

“Discord.” Cadence deadpanned.

“Discord!” I squealed.

“The one and only!” he said with a bow that caused his head to roll onto the ground. “Now I must ask, whatever in the world is going on to cause so much chaos? And more importantly, how come you decided to do it without inviting me?!”

Cadence let out a sigh. “Nopony invited you Discord.”

“I really wanted to though.”

“Not helping Gloria.”

“Not trying to Candy.” Discord let out a chuckle.

“Well on the contrary, I HAVE been invited, by Celestia no less. In fact, I’m currently on a mission right now to figure out the source of the chaos and put a stop to it. So if you’ll excuse me I have a water system to purify!” Uh oh! We just started this and he wants to end it already?! Wait… no of course he doesn’t. He’s Discord. Maybe I can…

“Wait!” I shouted before Discord could snap his fingers and turn everything back.

“Yes?” He asked.

“You don’t REALLY want to change things back do you?” Discord looked at me with a raised brow and Cadence just glared. She knew exactly what I was going to try and she wanted no part of it, I could tell.

“Well of course I don’t. But I have a job to do! Unless you can convince Cadence here to let me do what I want it’s out of my hands!” He said, his hand… claw… talon things falling off in the process.

“Yes. And I do believe that enough has been done as is Gloria. We’ve done what we needed to do so let’s just get back to our regular lives.”

“Candy this IS our regular lives! Discord come here I know exactly what will get Candy to give the okay!” Discord looked at me for a moment before shrugging his shoulders. His head suddenly appeared next to mine with one of his disembodied hands floating beside his ear to listen better. As I spoke into his ear his mouth turned into a wicked grin and as I finished my explanation he couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Oh yes. I do believe that can be arranged!”

“What?” Cadence asked worried. “What can be arranged?” Discord and I turned towards her, wicked smiles on our faces. We started walking closer to her and she took several fearful steps back before falling on her rump. “Now now, guys- er… girl and guy! We can talk this out can’t we? Please?!”

“Do it Discord.”

“With pleasure.” And with a snap of his fingers we quickly found ourselves in the palace gardens. Only they weren’t the gardens I had come to know. They had quite the new addition. One that made Cadence scream… in absolute euphoria.

“I… I can’t believe it… BON-BONVANA DOES EXIST!” She screamed. Cadences eyes twinkled and her mouth drooled like a little filly in a candy store at the sight in front of her. Sure enough I had given Discord an idea for an offer Cadence just couldn’t refuse. Where there once was a huge section of the royal gardens, was now a massive swimming pool filled to the brim with Bon Bon candies fully fitted with a diving board, several slides, toys and more. In the center of the giant pool were four massive statues of an angelic Bon Bon (the pony not the candy) each holding a jar made of cotton candy that constantly poured new fresh bon bons into the pool like waterfalls, somehow without causing it to overflow.

“Indeed it does, Princess.” Discord, who was now dressed as Willy Wonka stated. “In fact these Bon Bons are EXTRA special in that you can eat as many as you want and never get full or fat!” If it were possible Cadences eyes would have gone even wider from that.

“That’s right Candy!” I said. “All of this is yours if you just let Discord and I play together for a few hours. Come on, whaddya say?”

I could almost see Cadences will crumble as she rushed towards the pool shouting “Do what you want!”

I quickly stood on my hind hooves and did a hoof pump as I celebrated my success. Looking over to Discord I noticed him giving off the same manic grin as myself. Extending out my hoof I looked to him and said “A trolling we will go?”

In an instant Discord had shrunk himself down to be close to my size and was now wearing a little blue dress, a brown wig with long pigtails, and was holding a basket with a tiny black dog inside. We locked our hoof and claw together at the elbows as he replied. “A trolling we will go.” And with that we skipped down the main street of town as we sang along to a merry tune.

***

Okay, so Discord and I may have overdone it a little with a couple of things. Flying monkeys slinging their feces from the air, frogs that only sang and danced for one pony and stopped whenever anypony else looked, changing several foals into pseudo-alicorns and watching as they’re parents tried to control them and their new powers, yeah we did some crazy stuff. Honestly though I didn’t really think we did anything bad enough to warrant us being chased through the entire city like this.

“Stop right there criminal scum!” And it ESPECIALLY didn’t warrant us being treated like that!

“That is NOT how you talk to a lady you know!” I screamed back to a crystal guard with an elephant trunk.

“You’re not a lady!” At that Dicord and I stopped abruptly and turned around to face the small group of guards and very brave civilians that had been chasing us.

“EXCUSE ME?!” I shouted, an escape plan beginning to form in my mind. “What did you just say?!”

“I said you’re not a lady!”

“And what makes you think that?! I clearly have all the parts of a mare! So how am I NOT a lady?!” the guard just deadpanned at me.

“You’re only that way because of the poison joke.”

“Says who?”

“Um… I’m sorry wha-?”

“Who told you I was this way because of poison joke?” I got right up in the guards face.

“Well sir-”

“Miss.”

“Uh… miss.” He gave a little cough before he continued. “I mean… I just sort of… assumed-”

“ASSUMED?! YOU ASSUMED IT WAS THE POISON JOKE THAT TURNED ME INTO A MARE?!” I screeched with all the force that I could manage. “I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I PUT IN A LOT OF MONEY AND PAID MY WELL EARNED BITS LIKE ANY RESPECTABLE PONY TO HAVE A PROPER TRANSMAUGITAL OPERATION PERFORMED ON ME! I AM AS MUCH A MARE AS ANY MARE YOU’VE EVER SLEPT WITH! NOT THAT YOU EVER HAVE!!!” At that moment Discord decided to add in on the act to. Walking over to me and shrinking down to my size he wrapped a claw around me and pulled me into a hug.

“Ah yes, when poor Gloria woke up in that field she had no memory of who or what she was. Even worse she had such strange feelings. Feelings she didn’t think were… right for a stallion to have.” I hung my head in mock shame and Discord pulled me closer into his chest. I could feel the tenseness in his chest as he fought with all of his might to suppress his laughter. “As she and the young princess Cadence worked together to find what he was good at, they came to some unsettling revelations. She knew nothing of hoofball or the wonder bolts. She could not tell you how to win a drinking competition or how best to buck your opponent. No she could do none of that. Oh! But ask her how to patch a dress and she was there! Ask her the best clothes to wear this summer and she could find exactly what you needed! She loved fashion magazines, loved shopping and gossiping, even talking about yes, OTHER stallions! It was hard for her to admit, but admit it she did! She was a mare trapped in the body of a stallion!” Discord whipped his head back, one of his claws resting atop his forehead in a dramatic pose. I began a few sniffles and with the assistance of his magic to make the tears, pretended to cry.

“Oh yes.” He continued. “Yes, young Gloria was so confused. Between the loss of her memories and the difficult truth of who and what she truly was her heart was stuck in a state of utter turmoil and chaos. The very same chaos that summoned… me.” Discord pushed on my head with a talon and I turned mine towards him with a soft, teary eyed smile. As I moved my head around I noticed that we had, in fact, gained quite the crowd. The guard who had originally started all of this was now sitting in a state of pure and utter shame while many others in the crowd were giving me sympathetic looks. I could even see some mares, and a few stallions, starting to water their eyes.

Discord smiled at me with mock affection. “Yes, it was that chaotic heart of hers that drew me to her in the first place. That first night I visited her we talked about everything from her predicament to the weather. As time went on we became closer and closer, the feelings we had for each other slowly growing more and more. And over time, the rampaging chaos of her heart turned to gentle order. She began to accept herself for what she truly was.”

“And so, even without her memories, she made her choice! She knew not what stopped her in the past, and it mattered little! With the princess of love and the spirit of chaos at her side, she made the choice she realized she must have been wanting to make for years, and became what she truly was!” Discord stood behind me at full height as he made a small stage rise below me that even had a full working set of fog machines and strobe lights. “A wonderful, beautiful, young mare!” I blushed, which honestly wasn’t a COMPLETE act and tried to hide it with one of my hooves.

“Oh Dissy…” I said still trying to contain my laughter.

“Yes, my fair Gloria?” he replied as he appeared next to me and held me in his arms, gazing at me with dreamy lidded eyes.

“Please, use that fantastical magic of yours and whisk us away from here! Take us somewhere we can be alone, somewhere we can forget about the world and the…” I stole a quick glance to the elephant trunk afflicted guard who had started this whole little charade of ours. “close minded rabble it homes!”

Discord smiled lovingly. Nodded his head and raised one of his claws in the air before snapping his fingers…

And leaving me all alone in the middle of a circle of very confused ponies.

I looked up into the air to find the clouds changing shape as they wrote out “Your on your own! ~Discord” The other ponies all began to look where I was looking and one by one they figured out my little ruse. Teary eyes turned to angry glares as I looked around the suddenly very tense circle.

“You… you lied?” I heard a mare ask.

“You jerk!”

“Sithas will find you this day!”

“You destroyed this city!”

“GET HIM!” And with that proclamation I took off down the street at a breakneck pace, dodging and weaving through ponies as I desperately tried to outrun a vicious mob.

“DISCOOOOOOORD!” I shouted to the skies.

“Yes my fair Gloria?” he replied popping up next to me out of nowhere and giving me a serious case of bedroom eyes.

“Traitor!” I shouted and Discord couldn’t help but laugh.

“I’m sorry but it was just too good to pass up! Though I’m sure you’re mad at me now…” Discord looked away, his eyes glazing over slightly, though if you asked me why I wouldn’t be able to tell you.

“Nah don’t worry about it!” This seemed to take him by slight surprise. “To be honest I probably would have done the same thing!”

“Wait… you’re not mad?” I stared at him with an incredulous look on my face.

“Mad? After the stunt we just pulled together?! I’d have to be mad to BE mad! Your acting was brilliant! If I hadn’t been a part of it I would have believed it myself!”

“Hahaha! Thank you! I don’t get complimented very often for my work!”

“No problem!” I replied. “What are friends for?” Discords eyes went wide at that.

“F-friends? We’re… friends?” I just laughed.

“After everything we’ve done together? You better believe it!” Discord smiled at that. Not his usual cocky smile, but a smaller, more genuine heartfelt one. It didn’t last long though before his maniacal grin returned with a vengeance. This time with an extra added gleam to it that told me my life was about to become very difficult.

“Well then friend allow me to lend you a helping hand!” With a snap, Discord vanished into thin air. I was about to call out for him, when the ground beneath my feet suddenly began to rumble. Jumping to my left I watched as all across the city something began to shoot out of holes in the ground.

The sight I came upon was… well I don’t even know. There were… worms. Giant worms shooting out of the ground. Now honestly that wasn’t the weird part. I could have dealt with normal giant worms of death. But these were giant worms of death… that wore clothes… and could talk. More importantly they were talking and acting like Griffons from fifty years ago.

It was Discord so what can you expect?

“Mine Wormler! What are your orders?!”

“Go forth mine troops!” The ‘wormler’ shouted. “Defend ze ultimate race! The goddess has bestoved upon us sentience so that ve may take over ze vorld and give to it a new order! Ve vill start by crushing ze puny ponies vho dare to stand in mine vay!”

“Discord! These worms are going to destroy the city!”

“Don’t worry Gloria. Everything is going to be alright!” Discord suddenly appeared in front of me and for just a moment as he spoke it seemed like the entire world stood still. “After all, saving the world is kind of your thing.” Before I had the chance to ask him what that meant time began again and I was thrust back into the chaos.

As one of the giant worms smashed into the ground next to me, I dove into a nearby house slamming the door behind me as I tried desperately to catch my breath. As my breathing calmed down I looked around to see what just where I was and was met by yet another strange sight.

I seemed to be in some kind of house having entered straight into the living room. And in the center of this room was a small orange pegasus filly with a purple mane and while I know that isn’t a strange sight, what was surrounding her was. On every side of this filly, were at least a hundred chickens walking around, clucking their little tongues.

Of course, all this did was give me an idea. Walking over to the small girl I knelt down until I was at eye level with her. Somehow, she didn’t seem the least bit surprised by what was going on around her.

“Hello there.” I said.

“Hello.”

“What are you doing?”

“Sitting here surrounded by chickens.”

“Why?”

“Because they keep following me everywhere.”

“You don’t seem to be very bothered by that.”

“I live in ponyville. Stuff like this happens there at least once a week. You get used to it.”

“Is that so? Tell me little filly, what’s your name?”

“Scootaloo.”

“Well Scootaloo, how would you like to help me save the crystal empire?”

***

The crystal empire was in absolute chaos. The worms of the third reich were destroying everything in their sight. Buildings roads, those really cool sign spinner ponies, no thing and no pony was safe from their wrath. Ponies were cowering in fear, waiting for the inevitable, when suddenly a voice rang through the air. My voice.

With an enormous crash, time seemed to slow to a crawl crowds of ponies and giant worms alike turned their attention to myself and the building falling down around me. They say many ponies did many things that day. Some cowered in fear, others eyes shined with hope, and some were inspired to do great things.

Me? They say I smiled like the complete and total idiot I am.

I stood on my hind hooves atop the head of a giant chicken. More giant chickens began to sprout up behind me, taking their place on either side of the one I stood upon. Spreading out my hooves in a ‘come at me’ gesture I shouted as loud as I possibly could. “I. AM. CHICKEN LORD!!!”

“Hey” I heard an annoying voice call. I looked up at my makeshift hat. It was none other than Scootaloo, tied to my head by a piece of white nylon rope. “You said I was going to help you save the crystal empire!”

“You ARE helping me save the crystal empire! See those worms? If we don't do something they're going to destroy the whole city! To stop them I need something that can beat worms! And that something is birds! But it's hard to control birds because they're so flighty so I have to find something to control them with!”

“But what does that have to do with me being tied to your head?!”

“The chickens, they flock to you! With you on my head they will follow and listen to me! You're like an ancient artifact that gives me control over chickens! So as you can see, you're my chicken crown! And you know what crowns DON'T do?!”

“What?”

“TALK! NOW SHUT UP! WE HAVE A WAR TO WIN!” I turned my attention back to my now complete chicken army. They looked around clearly confused about what was going on but when they saw the worms, their beaks began to water.

“Attention my avian friends!” They all turned to look at me. “As you can see, this city is under attack by an evil that knows no limits! Before you were mindless beasts, living life day in and day out without a care in the world and though it pains me to say it, you will surely have to return to that in time.” I lowered my head along side the other chickens as I placed a hoof over my heart. “BUT! Not all hope is lost! Today you have the chance to be more than you once were! To be greater than what you ever had the chance to be! Now tell me! What will you do with that potential? Will you waste it like those worms! Will you destroy everything in your path in pursuit of your own mindless ambitions as they have done?! Will you, who have become more than yourself, remain the beasts you once were?! I say NO! Today you will stand tall! Today you will use the gifts you have been given and defend the innocent! Today you will become heroes whose acts will surely go down in the history books! You may have been none but humble chickens before, but today… today, you SOAR LIKE EAGLES!” My impromptu speech was met to cheers of squawking as the chickens rose their wings up in a salute. Turning back around I pointed one of my hooves in the direction of the worms and ordered the charge.

That day would forever be known as the Battle of Crystal Chicken.

***

“During that battle I broke my hoof and was accidentally thrown into several candy and mares product shops. Once the battle was finished, a bunch of ponies recognized me and started chasing me through the city again. I tried to dive into a spa, but ended up being cornered by the guard with the elephant trunk. I tried to get away but just as I jumped out through a window he blasted me with a couple of spells, giving me his elephant trunk as well as putting a want it need it spell on me. Now I was being chased through the city still, but for completely different reasons. I managed to make it into the castle, somehow, where the natural magical defenses you guys have set up reduced the effects of the want it need it spell down to the bare minimum, making every pony go away until I was left with only those few stallions clinging onto me. Poor guys, they must have been really lonely.”

Willow didn’t change her face in the slightest, choosing instead to just stare ahead with a stoic look as she processed my entire story. With a sigh she looked up at me her face turned in a scowl before speaking. “I leave the empire to go on vacation for ONE day… and you nearly level the entire city with flying monkey and giant chickens. I cannot even BEGIN to express my disappointment in words.” My ears splayed backwards at her stern gaze. “So instead… I’LL USE MY HOOVES!”

And so did the day end with much screaming and hoof pounding.

Author's Notes:

IMPORTANT: HERE WE HAVE TWO LINKS. ONE IS A POLL FOR YOUR FAVORITE OC THUS FAR IN KING OF QUEENS THE OTHER IS FOR YOUR FAVORITE OF THE MANE SIX (EXCLUDING TWILIGHT) WHILE I WON'T SAY WHAT THE VOTE IS FOR, DO KNOW THAT IT IS IMPORTANT TO THE STORYLINE AND I WOULD VERY MUCH LIKE READER INPUT

Favorite OC
Favorite Mane Six

You can also find this on my most recent Blog Post. This blog post also contains info on possibly getting your own OC incorporated in my story, so even if you used the links already to vote, I still suggest checking it out.

I know it's been a while but don't worry, the next canon chapter will be out soon I promise. The chapter is going to be a long one, maybe even somewhere around 20,000 words if I decide not to cut it up and it's sitting at about 11,500 so it's getting there. It will also be the last chapter of this "Arc" so there's that too.

A Grave Escape

View Online

“Well… this is new.” I muttered. I had expected many different things when I passed out. Strange dreams, a tunnel of light, fire and brimstone, a lot of things really. And I have to say, I’m rather disappointed that a game show studio wasn’t one of my expectations.

Well… not a REAL studio. I’m sitting in front of a podium like you’d see on any prime time television network situated on top of some large crystal pillar. The floor, if you can really call it that, is covered in cracks with bright neon colors that pulse randomly every few seconds. It reminded me of the floor in the infirmary yet it seemed, rougher somehow. As though the one in the infirmary was a flawlessly cut gem, while here it was still raw. Gorgeous but unrefined. Above me bizarre holographic monitors, most of which playing broken fuzzy images I couldn’t make out, blinked in and out of existence. Long strings of light seemed to twinkle as they drifted between the screens like rivers of tiny stars, adding a touch of mystique to a pale blue sky that looked cloudy and unclean as though looking through a dirty glass.

I looked below, turning my head to get a view over the edge behind me. There seemed to be no bottom in sight in my new location, just that same pale cloudy blue that eventually turned into endless darkness spanning into the void. I made a mental note not to fall as I turned my gaze across from me to find that on the other side of this strange place was a vibrantly colored stage that gave a bit of energy to the otherwise stale colors of blue and white that surrounded me.

“What in Fausts holy name is going on here?”

“Well clearly you’re on a gameshow silly! :D”

Not having expected an answer I looked at the stage to find a strange pink mare dressed in a top hat and suit.

Also I swear I can actually hear the emoticons when she speaks.

“Howdy there!”

"Hello?” Normally I would have an intelligent or witty response, but even I’m not mentally prepared for all situations. There are occasionally moments where even I just have to look around, throw my hooves in the air and say ‘Buck it!’.

“Huh… you’re a lot calmer about this than I was expecting! X3”

“I suppose so. Hey, you mind telling me where we are or maybe what your name is?”

"Not at all!"

......

"Please tell me your name and where we are?"

“My name’s Pinkamena Diane Pie, current element of laughter and party pony extraordinaire! As for where we are just look down!” Ah, thought she looked familiar. Well at least I know I can trust her. Looking down as she tells me to though introduces me to a rather interesting sight.

“I appear to be bleeding to death.”

Yup, just like before I passed out there is now a sword of spiraling pink energy sticking out of my stomach which, in case you’re wondering, is gushing out blood like you wouldn’t believe. No seriously, every cheap horror film in existence has nothing on the amount of blood that’s currently pouring from my abdomen. The weird thing is it isn’t making a mess. It seems to flow onto the ground and somehow make it’s way into the lights on the floor.

And yet… there’s only a slight tingling sensation. Weird.

Pinkie rubbed her head rather sheepishly before correcting me. “Technically you’ve already bled out.”

“… so I’m dead?”

“Eh… it depends on your definition of dead. Have all of your bodily functions stopped functioning? Most definitely! Does that mean you’ll STAY that way? Not at all! Of course that’s entirely up to you.”

“How so? And please don’t say I need to fight off the physical embodiment of death or some demon or something to keep my soul because that’s WAY too cliche.”

“Of course not silly! :3 The truth is, if you stay as you are now you’ll die for sure! Your body is too weak and doesn’t have the necessary power to save you. However, with MY super awesome terrific help, you’ll be unlocking all of that sealed potential giving you just enough magic power to survive, though you won’t be back in fighting condition at all.” She said as her ears and… is her mane drooping?

“How do I do that?”

“Well when you were alive you were WAAAAAAAAAAAAY stronger than you are now! Like CRAZY MEGA BLOW THINGS UP WITH YOUR MIND strong! Problem is all of that power and knowledge is sealed away in your memories, so we’re going to unlock each core memory one by one and as you grow to understand them and the impact they had on you you’ll eventually have enough power to survive!”

“... I was talking about making your mane droop but that works too. So basically… you traded the ‘fight for my soul’ cliche with the ‘have a higher entity help you understand yourself and reach an epiphany’ cliche?”

"I wouldn’t call myself a higher entity but yeah! More or less! X3”

“That’s just as bad as the first one.” I grumbled. Really I know I can be hyper but this is ridiculous. She's as bad as me at my worst, only ALL THE TIME.

“Well we’re we’re also doing a game show with it so at least there’s SOME originality! Cut me some slack I didn’t have much time to prepare this! >:(”

“Okaaaay… Why are you here though?”

“Silly I just told you!”

“No not WHY are you here. Why are YOU here.”

“Oh! Well that’s easy!”

……….

…….....

“You uh… mind telling me why that is?”

“Not at all!”

……….

…….....

“Will you please tell me why you are here?”

“Certainly! If you want the technical story based answer then I’m currently stuck in limbo alongside the other elements. But truthfully it’s because I’m about to lose A TON of screen time because the fans of this fanfic didn’t vote for me enough so now the author is throwing me in here so that I’ll have a bit of time in the limelight before he has to violently off me in the next few chapters. After this it’s unlikely you’ll see me again until the second to last arc which, with the update rate of this story, could be five years from now… maybe. :/”

“You know what? I’m not even going to touch on how ridiculous that sounded.”

“Good because we need to get this thing started!” Pinkie suddenly stood on her hind hooves and pulled a microphone out of… somewhere. “WILL THE OTHER CONTESTANTS PLEASE COME ON DOWN!”

Pinkies voice boomed from every direction forcing me to cover my ears. When I lifted my hooves I was met with the sound of wild cheering and wolf whistles. I spun around violently to find the empty abyss had been replaced with a giant stadium rising up all around me.

It was chock FULL of people. Creatures of every shape and size under the sun were cheering and calling my name as they clapped, or in the ponies case stomped, in excitement. The golden metal rafters shook violently from the sound of the crowd.

I couldn’t believe my eyes. Griffons, dragons, diamond dogs, ponies, minotaurs, zebras, and several members of other sentient species were looking directly at me with big smiles on their faces as they cheered. From elderly dragons to adolescent griffons and diamond dog pups there were people of every shape, size and color and for whatever reason they were covered in gear that was in some way shape and form related to me.

Some of the younger ponies wore wigs in the style and color of my mane, others had the words I <3 RADE spray painted onto their fur (thankfully that was mostly the mares… mostly), and others still had wrapped black bands around the base of their tail just like mine. But all of that paled compared to the one other detail I noticed. The one other thing they all shared.

Burns. Every last one of them was horribly burned. Enough to the point it was clear that they had likely died from their injuries. Though it seems it was some time since they had been injured. What I’m sure were once terrible and disgusting scabs of flesh had long since peeled off to be replaced by innumerable amounts of scar tissue.

In that instant my mind was assaulted with pain as images and sounds flashed through my head.

YOUR MAJESTY! THEY BROKE THE BARRIERS ON SECTOR SEVEN! THEY’RE STORMING THE CASTLE!

I was… a ruler?

HAHAHAHAHA! HOW DOES IT FEEL, RADE?! DO YOU ENJOY THE TASTE OF TRUE DESPAIR?!

Nirvana… we were at war with a pony named Nirvana.

SIR! THESE FLAMES! THEY’RE UNNATURAL! WE CAN’T PUT THEM OUT!

She… she did this. Took everything from me.

RUN! RUN MY CHILDREN!
My people… my… children…? Seriously? Did I develop some kind of weird Father complex or something?

RUN! IT IS NOT A SIGN OF COWARDICE! RUN! RUN AND LIVE! LIVE TO SEE ANOTHER DAY! LIVE FOR THOSE WHO CAN’T! RUN AWAY AND LIVE!
No one ran. They all stayed. Refusing to abandon their… what was I? A prince? A King?

WE’LL NEVER ABANDON YOU FATHER!

Father complex it is… geez I’m such a loser.

QUIVER IN DESPAIR, RADIANCE! SHIVER IN FEAR AND NEVER FORGET MY NAME! THE NAME THAT BROUGHT THESE HORRORS TO YOUR PEOPLE! THE NAME THAT BROUGHT YOU TO YOUR KNEES! NIRVANA!
She… she killed them. All of them.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
My...

DESPAIR, RADIANCE! DESPAIR!
My…….

DESPAIR!!!
“My precious children…” I said in but the faintest of whispers. Another memory, this time with details that made sense. I was a ruler of a kingdom at some point, no doubt about it now. But what kingdom? And when did I rule? There’s no point in history where I could have run a kingdom and if I had it would be in the history books… unless… did I rule during the dark century? That must be it. The hundred years where history has been lost… wait… no that’s not possible. Celestia and Luna would surely have recognised me the moment they saw me in the papers. So that can’t be it… can it?

And these people… are they… are they the ones I failed? If so how can I face them? Knowing their deaths were likely brought on by my own incompetence? An icy feeling gripped my heart as the world around me seemed to fade out. Was this… fear? What am I saying, of course it was. I was afraid of confronting them. Afraid of seeing the anger, the disappointment in their eyes. Now that I think about it, I’ve never really dealt well with people having negative opinions of me have I? Well, opinions I didn’t intentionally want them to have.

Ugh, my head hurts. Too much info at one time. Everything’s swimming around in my head quicker than I can process.

“Father?” That voice, so small and meek, pulled me out of my inner musings. A child’s voice. With that one word I felt this almost invisible tug lifting me, providing me with strength I did not have to look into eyes I did not want to see.

And of course in front of me now stood a young colt, covered in burns like all the others. He didn’t look like much. Rather typical honestly. Light brown fur with a darker brown for a mane that hung low and covered his left eye and a cutie mark of an anvil. And his eyes… they… held nothing but concern? “Father… are you okay? You’re crying.” I let a shaky hoof reach up to my face and sure enough I found tears.

“I… yeah. Yeah I’m fine just… sad memories… that’s all.” Confusion took hold now. He wasn’t angry? Why not?

“I know. We saw.” I gave him a look of confusion before following his pointed hoof. The strange holographic monitors were showing brief flashes and replays of the memory I’d just regained. It was… a rather gruesome sight. I shut my eyes, trying to will the monitor to stop. Eventually it did and I opened my eyes before turning to face my people. My people who… who I don’t even remember.

“I… I’m-”

“Save it, Father. And Anvil, get back to your seat!” The little colt now named Anvil gave me a quick bow before letting go and rushing off and out of sight. Surprised by the new and noticeably closer voice my head snapped to the right to find a gryphon sitting at a podium just like mine. She had black fur and wings, a white head and a vicious scar going down her blind left eye. Strangely though, unlike the others she bore no burns. Instead, like myself, she had a lance pierced through her chest.

“Who are you… and why aren’t you bleeding comical amounts of rainbow floor blood?” She gave me a strange look before tracing her eyes to my chest and then the ground. She turned her head from me, the floor and back again several times before sighing and face palming. Inwardly I grinned.

Even in death I’ve still got it.

“The ugh… rainbow floor blood as you call it is the representation of your current state. The closer you are to accepting life the more blood flows and the brighter and faster the lights become. The closer you are to accepting death the less blood flows and the dimmer and slower the lights become. Until eventually they stop and it’s at that point you die.”

“As for who I am I’m former Captain Falknera of the third division of your troops.” I opened my mouth to ask a few more questions but was promptly cut off by a held up talon. “No I can’t tell you how many divisions there are. No I cannot tell you what kingdom you lead. No I cannot tell you what level royal you are. And finally no I cannot tell you how many licks it takes to get to the juicy center of a tootsie pop.”

I opened and closed my mouth several times, gaping like a fish before I let a small fragile smile grace my lips. I had a feeling we were good friends once if she could read me like that. But did she still feel that way? She was too difficult to read so I couldn’t tell. In the end I decided to go for it. “We were good friends at one point… weren’t we?”

Like a light in the dark she returned my grin great enthusiasm. “Damn right we were. Enough for me to know you feel guilty for something you don’t even remember.” At that she frowned before whipping her hair out of her face. “A fact that just makes you feel even worse.”

She sighed, shaking her head and drumming her talons on the ground. “You used to do that all the time, blaming yourself for things outside of your control and refusing to meet the eyes of those you feel you’ve wronged unless they address you first. And even then you always looked like somebody just killed your dog. I guess some things never change. Take a look around you. Go on look.” I did as she said and let my gaze sweep around the stadium and was both shocked and confused.

“None of you… are angry?” It was true. The crowd was filled with smiles of love, warmth, and encouragement.

“Of course not sir.” Falknera replied. “We would never be. You may not remember us, and that’s just fine for now, but we remember you. You were a kind and fair ruler then, and you’ll be so again when all is said and done.” The crowd burst into cheers of approval at this.

I looked at her curiously. What was that supposed to mean? Falknera just chuckled at the look on my face. “You’ll have to wait a while longer for the answer to your question. Right now we’ve got to get your memories back and then get you to the world of the living. I, the crowd, and several others are here to help in that regard. The others should be here in a moment. Their names are-”

“NOW HOLD ON JUST A MINUTE! D:<” Falknera jerked back in surprise when Pinkie Pie appeared right in her face. “I do the introductions in this game show lady! If you want to do that then you can host YOUR OWN episode of-” She stopped just as suddenly as she started before disappearing in a puff of smoke and reappearing on the stage in a blast of confetti. A sign flew down from the sky to land at the top of the stage. “A GRAVE ESCAPE!” Fireworks took off into the air as strange contraptions I could only assume had no legitimate purpose aside from aesthetics began to twist, turn, and spin.

Oh wait! A Grave Escape! Ha! I get it!

“Heeeeeeeelloooooooo everypony! Oooh I guess it’s everybody huh? Whatever the case I’m your host the one and only Pinkamena Diane Pie!” Her voice turned to a whisper for a moment. “But you can call me Pinkie!” She finished with a wink eliciting a round of giggles, mostly from the children.

“Welcome to todays episode of ‘A Grave Escape’! A show where we help a young person decide whether or not he wants to live or die! The subject for today’s episode is a master of magic, a hero of incredible proportions, a strategist without rival and one of the greatest warriors to ever grace Equis! His accomplishments range from- oops! Not allowed to talk about that. Anyway he’s the current consort to one Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, though I hear he’s pretty bad at his job if you know what I mean!”

“HEY! Our relationship is strictly platonic!” I tried to argue. By Faust’s rump why does everyone have to make fun of Candy and I?

“Don’t get angry because you’re stuck in the friendzone sir.” Falknera said while a snicker graced her lips.

“I-I’m NOT in the friendzone!”

“YES YOU ARE!” Urk, my pride. Was… was that the entire crowd? Did a whole kingdom seriously just say I was in the friendzone? I can’t believe this. The only thing I could think to do was look around at everyone before slamming my head into my podium and mumbling.

“I’m not drunk enough for this.”

“Sir, nobody could get drunk enough for this.”

“Perhaps you’re right Falknera.”

“Speaking of Falknera!” Whoops. Looks like we forgot about Pinkie again. “Ladies and gentlemales! Let me introduce you to Falknera Griffith! Former Third Squad Captain of the ********* royal army! Originally born in the gryphon kingdom, Phoenicis, she was forced into slavery as a child before eventually being found and rescued by our very own Glorious Radiance. With his help she grew into a powerful warrior and became one of the founding members of arguably the greatest kingdom ever created! The mighty ********* empire! Give her a round of applause!”

And the crowd did just that as Falknera’s picture took up the numerous screens hanging in the sky. I found it rather amusing whenever Pinkie mentioned this supposed empires name. Clearly from their reactions everyone else could hear it, but all I got was muffled nonsense. How strange...

“Next up is a crowd favorite! She was a rising star in the kingdom of old! Everyone and their mother knew her name and her concerts were always sold out! It was said she had a voice so beautiful that she was once asked by Faust herself to sing her a song. Heeeeeeeeeeeeres Bluebelle!”

A bright pillar of light shone on a podium to my left before a figure appeared. When I looked it turned out to be a female minotaur with pale white fur and dark black hair that flowed in long curls to the middle of her back.

Now, contrary to popular belief, female minotaurs are typically quite slim unlike their male counterparts who are famous for their large muscular builds. However in minotaur culture females are held on a higher pedestal than males. Their lithe frames have made them symbols of absolute beauty and perfection in their country and therefore they rarely venture outside it as they are generally waited on hand and hoof. As a result few ever see female minotaurs and assume that they must be hulking creatures like the males.

This minotaur, Bluebelle, wore a simple sky blue dress with a white sash around the middle. A pink bow was tied around her tail where the white tail met black hair. For whatever reason she had a cowbell of all things acting as a necklace but lacked the typical ring piercing in her nose. If anything she should have had that. That piercing is a part of the minotaur way. She should have gained it around her tween ages. It’s supposed to be given as a sign of growing up. The only reason she wouldn’t have one… was if she wasn’t raised by minotaurs. Huh, that ought to be a story worth telling.

“Bonjour.” Annnnnd she’s Prench. Go figure. “It iz a pleazure to be here Mizz Pie. Of course I’d do anything for my Papa just like all ze rest, no?” She said before letting her eyes scan the crowd. The effect was immediate as the audience began to either cheer excitedly or swoon over Bluebelle, though apparently the girl didn’t notice the swooning if the blissful smile on her face was any indication. Poor thing, I could tell from a glance she was an airhead. She was cute, adorable, and absolutely oblivious to anything that didn’t exist in her own little world.

Actually… now that I looked at her, I didn’t see any obvious signs of her death. There wasn’t a single burn mark or sign of violent weapon impalement. In fact, aside from the missing ring found on most adult taurs, she looked to be in perfect health.

Clearly she wasn’t though, or else she wouldn’t be here in purgatory.

Ah, she’s caught me staring.

“Papa! How are you zis day?” She said excitedly.

“Well dying has turned out to be a far more pleasant experience than I anticipated so not so bad honestly.” She smiled brightly in response. Still I was curious. “I don’t mean to sound rude but… how did you die?” Her eyes widened a bit before she giggled softly.

“Oh Papa, I’m not dead!” I blinked.

“You’re not?”

“Nope! I’m still deciding just like you! Everyone who ends up standing on a podium is!”

Wait really? I turned my head to look at Falknera. She looked away and started to whistle, pretending she hadn’t heard a thing. How could she still be deciding? There’s a lance through her torso. You don’t just shrug that off! Unless… yes. I see it now. Taking a closer a look I noticed that around the edges of the lance were green lines that almost look like veins spreading off from the entry wound that pulsed with an eerie magic. Was that keeping her alive?

But that still begs the question: How are they alive after a thousand years?

“Yupperooni!” Oh it’s the pink ball of hyperactivity again. “Everyone who stands at a podium today, including yourself, is on the edge of life and death just like you. But unlike you they’re decision is based off of something COMPLETELY different!”

“Like what?”

“Like your own.” I turned my head to the right and sure enough there was yet another podium. But on this one stood an earth pony mare. She had a long straight raven mane and tail with an ashen coat and eyes that shined a brilliant violet like amethysts. Her mane covered her right eye and and she wore a beautiful silver necklace.

I cringed a bit as I looked at her back. Or rather, her lack of one. From the top of her head down to the start of her tail was one long open wound that bled profusely. Parts of her ribs and tail bone stuck out, clearly broken off from where her spine had, evidently, been removed. I tried to hide the look of horror on my face but she seemed the type to read people with ease.

“Shocked I take it?” Her voice was low for a girl, smooth with just enough inflection not to be monotone.

“Er… am I allowed to lie?”

“No.” She replied blankly. Damn, not getting out of this one the nice way.

“Then yes. Totally mortified.” She gave me a playful smirk, a stark contrast to her otherwise blank face. I guess she was pleased for some reason. Can’t imagine why though.

“Don’t worry about it too much. It’s not a big deal. You’ll understand the injury soon after you wake up.”

“Er… right. Um… who are you?”

“GOOD QUESTION!” Ah. It’s the pile of sugar and caffeine given physical form again. Her eye was twitching and her mane was starting to droop again. I guess she doesn’t like being ignored. Something tells me I shouldn’t end up on her bad side. “This pony here is none other than the lovely Princess Ebony! Sister-in-law to Glorious Radiance and royal treasurer while they temporarily ruled over the Crystal Empire, this blank flanked adult caught the eye of Rade’s brother, the former King Sombra before eventually marrying him!” Hold on a moment!

“Wait Sombra really is my-” Before I could get a word in edgewise Pinkie dashed over and clamped my mouth shut with her hooves.

“Leave all questions until the end of each video! Please and thank you! X3” She shift her hooves and body so that my mouth was trapped in the crook of right arm. I struggled comically to get free while she addressed the crowd. “All right everyone Now that we’ve got all of our contestants introduced, let’s get this show underway shall we?!”

Finally managing to break free of her grip I rubbed my muzzle to ease the pain. “Now hold on just a second!”

“Sorry no can do!” I opened my eyes to argue before whimpering. Standing in front of me was Pinkie holding the largest mallet I’d ever seen in my life. She had a face breaking grin as my brain registered that she was mid swing… with the mallet aimed right for my face.

“Well shi-” And all I knew was darkness.

Symphony of War

View Online

I blinked awkwardly a gentle hum passing my lips as I opened my eyes, only to be met with a field of golden feathers. I wiggled forward poking my head out of the fluffy crevice and looked around. I was in a forest, the air crisp and cool but without the biting cold of winter. Overhead the tree leaves were just starting to color. Fall had arrived I realized. Below me was a small patch of dead grass and flowers while above seemed to sit under a pile of sturdy rocks carefully stacked together. I could see the roots from the tufts of grass growing from the dirt packed between each stone. This little hovel must have been here for quite some time.

A rustle beside me lifted some of the fog from my groggy mind. That’s right, I wasn’t alone in this den either. There was something else there too, the one whose body I just removed my face from. She was different than me as she sported wings instead of a horn, but my childish mind could tell we were both the same type of... thing so it was okay. She was lying next to me, her tiny hooves wrapped around my tummy. It was dark out and the ball in the sky, the one that didn’t hurt my eyes, wasn’t anywhere to be seen, making the whole sky black without a single light in the sky.

Awkward rustling came from her. I looked over to find that the other thing had begun to stir. I cared for this thing, though I didn’t know why. I knew we had been together for as long as I could remember. Together we lived. Together we survived. I used my power to do things she couldn’t. And she used the things on her back to do things I couldn’t. It was a wonderful system.

She opened her eyes slowly, looking up to find me staring back at her. She smiled before pressing further into me. She looked around and her smile soon faded, turning into a confused frown. Her head began to zip in different directions as she looked for something. I tilted my head in confusion, trying to find what she was looking for and that’s when I felt it too.

Something was missing, something that should have been there by now. I looked around but came up with nothing, and that made me realize what was gone. There was no ball in the sky, neither the ball that didn’t hurt my eyes nor the other one that did, to light up the world. This didn’t really bother me. I was sure it was probably just a little late. But it terrified the other thing that was with me.

I didn’t like it when stuff scared the other thing. It made me sad to see her frantic like this. So whenever she was I always did everything I could to fix it. This would be no exception. Using my teeth I tugged on the scruff of her neck. She was reluctant at first, but I smiled and that seemed to give her the courage to walk out with me.

We only walked about ten feet from our home, but I figured that was enough. I looked up at the sky and closed my eyes, pulling on my power. I knew the power, the energy inside me, was what rose the sun and moon. I could hear their songs every day and every night, singing to me as they flew through the sky. These songs told me all I needed to know on raising them and so I sang the song with my power..

As I began to sing, I found the song was harder than anticipated. It required more energy and concentration than any song I’d ever sang before. It was fast paced, intricate, and seemed to last forever with notes flowing in and out in beautiful and stunning ways.

After what felt like an eternity I felt light peek through my eyelids. I blinked harshly as the song came to an end, and quickly fell to my haunches. I was absolutely exhausted, but the other thing was smiling and running in circles around me, so it was okay.

Until I heard a twig snap.

As quick as I could I stood to fight, my horn lighting up at whatever was coming near us. And that’s when I caught sight of something I wasn’t expecting. Two other creatures, ones just like me with horns on their heads, standing there with their mouths open and their eyes wide just… staring at me. The other thing whom I’d known my whole life darted over to me quickly pressing her body into mine as much as she could.

The other ponies started making strange noises to each other, before turning to us and making even more. I didn’t understand them and was very confused. They weren’t growling or hissing, so they weren’t trying to make a threat. Their horns weren’t lighting up like mine either, and since I couldn’t use my songs, my power, to attack without it glowing, that must mean they weren’t going to either. If that was the case then I just wanted them to leave. This was mine and the other things spot. Not theirs. So I shot a little beam. Not much, but it was the best I could manage after raising the sun.

The blue big-thing then made a big wall of magic in front of him, and my beam just went around it. I stepped back in surprise and fear before gritting my teeth and shooting again but to no avail. Still I had to try. I couldn’t just let them take my home or the other thing. And so I fired shot after shot after shot, pumping as much power into each one as I could. Unfortunately this didn’t deter the big-thing at all. If anything he was enjoying it. His smile growing wider and wider with each shot I unleashed. Eventually I noticed my eyes beginning to droop, like they always did when I sang too many songs. I was about to fall asleep and I knew it. But what else could I do?

Eventually I passed out, the other things screams being the last I heard.

***

“Am-bro-sia.” said the other pony, for a pony is what we were. A year had passed and the ponies that found us, unicorns they called themselves, were still ‘teaching’ us. They wanted us to be able to do all sorts of strange things like talk, eat with long smooth rocks they called forks, and use the restroom in things called ‘chamber pots’. I didn’t really understand it, nor did I care for it. The only thing they ‘taught’ us that I found worthwhile were the songs, or spells, the one called Clover taught me. They were useful, and I could do all sorts of strange things with them. When the other pony and I were released there wouldn’t be anything I couldn’t protect her from.

“Very good Ambrosia! Now it’s your turn Radiance. Come now, can thou say Radiance? Ra-di-ance?” I looked at the strange golden maned pony with the purple robe and silver crown. She wore a big grin on her face, though it looked a little fragile. Like she was hoping for something she knew wasn’t going to happen.

This was something I couldn’t see the point in. Names. There was only one pony whose identity mattered to me and that was the other pony, or ‘pegasus’ sitting next to me. As a result, I never spoke. Not one peep the whole time they spent teaching me. Don’t get me wrong, I could see the use for names given to other things, but not me or the other pony. There just wasn’t any point. Still though in my childlish mind, I wondered what her reaction would be if I actually DID say something. The results were much to my satisfaction.

“Princess Platinum…” The princess wasted no time in squealing with delight as she gave a little dance about how wonderful it was for me to have learned her name… until the rest of my sentence came out.

“tis a harlot.” To be fair, I had no idea what the word meant at the time, only that it was a derogatory term for mares such as herself. She never let me live that moment down no matter how much I apologized to her. Still though, the look of utter horror on her face was well worth it.

***

I was now nine years old. Well, we guessed I was and I had long since come to understand society and the way it worked as well as accepting my position within it. While the mentality I had as a ‘wild child’ as many had come to call Ambrosia and I still swayed many of my actions, I had come to both accept and respect the new path and environment my life had taken. Ambrosia was… slower in that regard than I was. Actually, she was significantly slower than me, at least mentally. And needless to say that worried me.

I had always known Ambrosia and I were different on some level. I was always the stronger of us two though to us that didn’t really mean anything, just that I could help take care of us more easily in the long run. When I realized the full gap that was between the two of us though I began to grow worried believing something to either be wrong with me or worse… Ambrosia.

My fears were placated though when I voiced my concerns to my mentor. According to Clover I was something called a ‘prodigy’. I was… special. A genius in magic and… well… just about anything related to the mind. I… didn’t really understand. With a sigh Clover motioned for me to follow him and so I did.

We walked through the halls silently, the clip clop of our hooves echoing loudly off the walls finally stopping before a common set of wooden double doors. With the glow of his horn Clover gently opened the doors taking a few steps in and calling out to me. I followed, albeit a little hesitantly. My instincts told me I was about to learn a valuable, albeit difficult to swallow lesson.

And difficult it was.

To my surprise I found myself in a room filled with other young ponies around my age. Most of them were unicorns, with the occasional Pegasus and earth pony scattered about. They all sat at long wooden tables with small books in front of them. They all turned to look at me and I did the same back. I let a large grin cross my face when I saw Ambrosia waving towards me excitedly. I gave a short wave back before turning to Clover with a questioning look.

“Master Clover, what is thy purpose in bringing me to Ambrosia’s class?” I whispered.

“Hark Rade.” he whispered quietly in return as he leaned his head down to mine to speak. “Remain here for the rest of thy friends class. As with every experiment we perform, observe and do not interact. However, after class take the day off and spend time with thy friend, Ambrosia. Do not change thy behavior, but do pay more attention to how you interact with each other. Before the sun rises on the morrow, I am sure you will come to understand my lesson.” With that I watched him leave, giving a slight bow of his head and a quick explanation to the teacher before leaving me alone in the room to watch the other fillies and colts.

What I saw… at first confused me.

Everypony was so… energetic. Their eyes darted from place to place and they constantly shuffled their hooves unable to sit still. The teacher talked to them in a high pitched almost bubbly voice, using simple words and phrases to explain even simpler concepts, and that wasn’t even factoring in the length of time she spent going over each subject. An hours worth of time devoted to reading simple sentences, another to basic addition and subtraction, two to basic sciences, these were all things I learned in my first month here. And from the way the students spoke I realized that they went over these things everyday.

I spent the remainder of my day doing exactly as master Clover had instructed and paid close attention to my interactions with Ambrosia. I realized that while she was clearly pleased to be around me… she had no idea what I was saying at any point in time. Ever since our arrival here we tended to end our days on the castle walls with either me prattling on about my lessons with Clover or simply sitting in silence, doing little more than enjoying the company of the other. Watching her now though I realized that my explanation on Clovers obvious attempt at teaching me something about social dynamics and how I fit into them was something she… just didn’t get. She looked at me, brows knit together in concentration as she tried, and failed, to grasp what I was saying all with a small and gentle smile on her face.
However as this reality sank in for me I became saddened, something she noticed immediately and was quick to call me out on.

“Rade, what ails thee?”

“Hm? I am fine Ambrosia.”

“… truly?” She reached up with her hoof, playing it just below my horn as though to check my temperature. “Thou doth not seem sick… tis it trouble with thy heart?”

“… in a manner of speaking.” I replied, casting my eyes to the side. Ambrosia’s gaze softened a little as her face took on a look of concern.

“What troubles thee?”

“I… Ambrosia… is my behavior… that is do I seem… queer?” Her eyes widened. Evidently that was not a question she had expected me to ask. Her surprise didn’t last long though as she quickly closed her eyes and nodded her head vigorously.

“Most definitely! Thou are nothing at all like any of the other ponies our age!” My eye twitched at that. I couldn’t help but feel a little irritated at just how quickly and happily she pointed out that I was, in laymans terms, a freak. Not that I could complain, I was the one who asked after all. She looked up, tapping one hoof on the other as I had occasionally seen minotaurs do when listing things. “Thou use big words, thou cast all sorts of silly spells, sometimes thou walk on clouds with me even though thou art a unicorn, thou are strange in every sense of the word!” Her eyes then grew a little sullen while her ears splayed back. “There was a time when… when I felt useless to thee. Like thee was so perfect thou didn’t actually… need me around. I felt as though… I was only getting in thy way.”

My own eyes widened in surprise upon hearing that. Ambrosia wasn’t getting in my way. She’d never gotten in my way! She was my oldest and best friend and I… cared about her. Before I could think further on the matter though, Ambrosia’s head snapped toward my own and with a big smile plastered on. “But that’s okay! I realized that I don’t need to be needed! I’m completely okay with being useless!”

“But Ambrosia, thou are not-” I was quickly cut off by a hoof being placed on my mouth.

“Mm mm.” She said with a shake of her head. “I’m useless to thee Rade. I can’t understand all the big things thou says everyday and I often get in thy way by messing up thy homework and expara… expeara…”

“Experiments.”

“Aye, those! And that’s fine. What’s important isn’t that I’m useful to thee, but that I make thee happy. We spend everyday together and even though half the time I don’t understand what thou says, thou always brighten up my day because thou are important to me. And I am important to thee. So long as we are happy, that is all that matters.”

“And besides, nopony is perfect Rade. Eventually thou will come across something that thou cannot do and knowing thy luck it will be something very important that thou can’t live without and I will most likely excel. Perhaps it will even be my special talent!”

I smiled, her simple explanation putting my heart at ease. After giving her an affectionate nuzzle, I promised her I would endeavor to make a greater effort to talk and act in a way she could understand, even though she said it wasn’t necessary I still felt as though I needed to since she was trying so hard for me. It was the least I could do in return.

The next day Clover was greeted to the sight of a far more childish acting Rade and his smile told me he knew I had learned the lesson he wanted to teach.

***

Sometime later I was running with Ambrosia and several of the other children my age through the streets of the city. Since my talk with Ambrosia I had adopted a far more childish personality. Both to help make myself more relatable to Ambrosia and more approachable by others my own age. I figured in the long run it would provide a good balance to my above average mind.

At that current moment I was the one with the ball and I was kicking it ahead of me constantly to keep it away from the others (as that was the point of the game) when one of them finally tackled me into an alley and got it back.

I tumbled for a bit, rolling around on the packed stones before crashing into several wooden crates. Rubbing my now slightly throbbing head I looked around in a daze and was surprised to find another unicorn drawing on the ground with a rock. Temporarily forgetting about the game and letting curiosity run its course, I decided to look at the picture he was drawing.

No.

Not a picture.

A BLUEPRINT.

Well as much of a blueprint as a small child can make.

Fascinated that somepony my age, aside from myself, could come up with something so complicated, I sat down and continued to watch. And by watch I mean stare awkwardly over his shoulder. I also took the chance to get a better look at him. His coat was a dark ashy color and his mane was swept back and black with streaks of blue. His sharp grey eyes only enhanced his already intimidating look.

Eventually though I noticed an error in his math and decided to point it out.

“Thou forgot to carry the two.”

“Ahh!” he screamed, throwing his rock and scrambling backwards. He stared at me in shock before speaking again. “I… thou… what?”

“I said thy math is wrong.” He narrowed his eyes at that, though whether it was in anger or confusion I couldn’t really tell. He looked away, before levitating his rock and getting back to work with a solemn expression on his face.

“And how would THEE know?” he said in a lower tone. “I have seen thee running about town, kicking that ball with the other children. Playing and laughing as if you haven’t a care in the world. You are just like them. Even if you can understand a small part of what you’re looking at you can’t possibly grasp-”

“Tis an energy construct, no?” The young colts head snapped toward mine with wide eyes, his mouth opening slightly before I continued. “No… tis an energy catalyst. A fracture of a full construct used to increase the speed in which one source of power is converted to another and reinforcing the construct overall, though this is a very complex model so I mistook it for the construct itself for a moment. What surprises me is the materials used. Most of the time magical energy flows through different sets of wires made of differing, sometimes rare, minerals such as gold, silver, copper, I’m sure thou understands. Though here thou has a long list of different elements, all in trace amounts. What is it?”

“It’s… it’s uh… it’s crystal.”

“Cyrstal?”

“Yeah. Crystal. Normally Crystal is used as a battery as it’s known to hold a charge for incredible periods of time, however it’s never been known for doing much else.”

“Thy blueprint says otherwise.”

“Well obviously. That’s the entire point. I’m trying to create a better general catalyst.”

“Using crystal as a base?” I asked raising an eyebrow. He simply nodded. “I see. It certainly seems doable, though it’s strongly bending some of the laws of crystal magic.”

“Laws?”

“Yes. The laws on crystal magic first theorized by Singing Hoof the Bard of Dreams and later proven by Smokedust the Failure?”

“I am… afraid I know not the ponies of which thee speak.”

“Then how dost thee have such extensive knowledge of crystal magic?”

“I… I am self taught.” Sombra looked rather defected by that, though I couldn’t imagine why. Anypony capable of revolutionizing an entire field of study at our age without any formal teaching was something special.

“That’s incredible! Oh! I haven’t introduced myself! I’m Glorious Radiance.” I extended my hoof which he hesitantly took.

“Sombra… just Sombra.”

“It is a pleasure to make thy acquaintance Sombra. Tell me has thee perhaps considered trying…” I spent the next several hours with Sombra, discussing and going over the details of this new intriguing idea and project. My game with the other children had long since been forgotten. Eventually however we came to a fault in our designs. One we realized we could progress no further without assistance as it wasn’t that the catalyst wouldn’t work, but that we lacked the sufficient knowledge to complete it. So without thinking or asking anypony else if it was a good idea, I did the first thing that came to mind.

“I’m going to take thee to see my teacher now.” I said, and began charging a teleportation spell with my horn while his eyes went wide.

“Wait, wha-” And with a flash we were standing in front of master Clover. We also seemed to have teleported into the middle of the throne room during a major meeting, not that I particularly cared. I was… excited I think. To meet another pony like me my age well… that was just something I didn’t want to give up. Though I highly doubt I myself realized this at the time.

“Master Clover!” I said and with little thought of anything else in my mind I quickly ran over to Clover and for once my excited childish bouncing wasn’t an act, something Clover quickly took notice of. It was not often that I naturally acted my age and when I did it generally tended to be something legitimately important, thus I had my teachers full attention.

“What is it Radiance?” I quickly zoomed back over to Sombra and pushed him in front of Clover and Platinum. In my excitement I failed to register the look of sheer horror on Sombra’s face as he realized he was not only in the palace but in front of the greatest and most influential ponies of our day and age… while covered in several weeks worth of dirt and filth.

“This pony’s just like me!” One of Clover’s eyebrows slowly rose and I took that as my cue to start explaining. Without any hesitation I began recounting my entire meeting and discussion with Sombra. Clover listened intently without a single interruption, so much so that the only indication he was even still alive was the occasional blinking of his eyes.

“With thy help I think we can get that invention of thees up and running!”

“I see.” Clover turned his attention over to Sombra. “So… Sombra was it.” Sombra gulped so nervous he couldn’t do naught but nod his head. “Well Sombra that’s quite the impressive theory, especially for a pony who is self taught. All of this being said however I am sure my student in his excitement has pulled thee from whatever thee was doing without consulting anypony else.” He shot me a look and I stopped bouncing only to lower my ears and return a sheepish smile. “Thus before this conversation goes any further, may I ask thee where thy parents are? It would not do for them to worry over a missing child.”

Sombra’s ears quickly folded as he looked away with a downcast expression. A faint glimmer shone in his eyes, a precursor to tears just barely being held back. “I… I do not have any.” Out of the corner of my eye I could see Platinum’s eyes go wide before becoming misty eyes herself. She truly had a soft spot for children. Clover on the other hoof, gained the same unnerving smile he once gave to me several years prior before turning his head and speaking to Platinum. “Milady, yesterday we were discussing what to do with a small surplus in the budget, were we not?”

Platinum looked at him confused, but nodded her head anyways. Clover smiled and turned his attention back to Sombra. “Well then I suggest we use that to fund the schooling of my new student.”

Several hours later found Sombra sharing a room with me. We each sat on our own beds talking about experiments and the like until one of the palace maids came in and told us it was time for bed. Unable to sleep I stared at the ceiling, the smile I obtained after meeting Sombra never fading. “Hey Sombra. Art thou still awake?”

“… aye.”

“Art these not a fortunate series of events?”

“Indeed they are Rade. I rose with Fausts light in an alleyway, and now I sleep under her moon in the palace. I had nothing, no home, no friends, no family. Now… now I have everything. Well I have a home and a friend. I still lack the last.”

“Mm… perhaps not.” Sombra turned in his bed to look at me, and I returned that look with a happy honest grin.

“Master Clover and Princess Platinum are not my parents, but in my heart I still feel that way about them. They may not have been my family by birth, but they still are family. At least to me.”

“And what, pray tell, does that have to do with me?”

His eyes regarded me like a dullard. I could hardly blame him. My explanation was hardly an explanation. So I turned to him with a smile and elaborated. “If Clover and Platinum are like my parents since I’m clovers student, then they’ll probably be like that for you too! And that would make us…?”

“That would make us…” He hesitated, his eyes darting around lost and confused before looking at me and offering an unsure “brothers?”

“Aye!”

“I-I see…” He stuttered out before a grin as wide as my own took up his face and in his eyes, though he’d deny it till his dying day there was, perhaps, just a glint of a tear. “I see! Brothers! A family! Yes! A marvelous idea!”

I laughed glad he agreed and he in turn laughed too. Our laughter didn’t stop as it rushed into a a crescendo echoing off the walls and down the hall. We were both so happy for so many things. Finding a place to belong, finding another like us, finding secrets in magic, and knowing we’d find so much more together. It was a truly magnificent moment.

“Silence foals!” We heard a guard through our doors. “Need I call thy master Clover?” With quickly given assurances that such… drastic measures were unnecessary we snuggled into our beds to sleep. Tough I soon found it difficult without one last word.

“Aye… Sombra?”

“Yes Rade?”

“Goodnight brother!”

“Same to thee Brother!” We both laughed at our foolishness, not really taking the idea seriously. Though in later years that’s exactly what happened.

***

Ambrosia, Sombra, and I were following Chancellor Puddinghead. We had been eating lunch with him and Private Pansy when Princess Platinum burst through the door raving about children. At first I thought she was just having a midlife crisis. I mean she wasn’t getting any younger after all. Then again what does a ten year old know? Well… at least we thought I was ten at the time.

Anyway so here we were trotting down the hall to her personal study. Upon entering we found the other founders of equestria, Lady Smart Cookie, Commander Hurricane, and my mentor Clover the Clever, standing around a small whicker basket in which laid two crying foals. I stood there trying to grasp the situation while Ambrosia immediately rushed over to them.

“They’re adorable!” she, Pansy, and Platinum all squealed at the same time. Myself and the other males in the room could only roll our eyes. After watching them gush over the two foals for a while I looked to Clover for an explanation of them bringing us here but Sombra beat me to the punch.

“Master Clover, may I ask what the importance of these fillies is?”

“That’s a wonderful question. Why don’t both of thee take a closer look and tell thy opinion.” We both nodded, walking over to the small basket to take a closer look at the two small fillies. The one on the right was pure white, an uncommon and highly coveted color among ponies, with a candy pink mane. She was curled up in a tight ball under her blanket and seemed to be trying to snuggle down as far as possible. Beside her was another small pony with a dark blue coat and a light blue mane. Unlike the first filly she was sprawled out with her tongue lolling out of her mouth.

But what was truly shocking was the fact that they both had wings and a horn.

“Master Clover… they…” I breathed out, incapable of forming proper sentences out of shock.

“Aye. They possess both a horn and wings and that is why both of thee have been called. Thou shall work with me to help me study these ponies and to determine if this is a birth defect… or something more.” Sombra eagerly agreed, nodding his head faster than I thought possible, but I was slightly reluctant. The idea of experimenting on another pony, especially a newborn, didn’t sit well with me. And I made that opinion known.

“Of course Radiance I understand. Worry not, we won’t be assessing them the way we do with common animals. No. No matter what these are still young children, and we shall do our best to take care of them and treat them well.”

“But what of their parents? Why are they not here?” Ambrosia asked. Clovers eyes widened at that, probably because it was rare for her to address him. Ambrosia spent most of her time with Platinum or Pansy and if she wasn’t with them she was normally either playing with friends or pestering Commander Hurricane.

At her question the adults in the room grew somber expressions and she realized instantly she’d broached a touchy subject. “Ambrosia sweety,” Pansy finally stated after a moments silence. “Listen, why don’t I teach you to mix together food for the little ones so you can help take care of them okay?” Ambrosia looked up at Pansy with a happy twinkle in her eyes before nodding her head and trotting off. Before she left the room though she turned her head to me and gave me a look that I understood meant she knew she was just being kicked out and that she expected me to explain later.

I soon learned it was an expectation I couldn’t meet.

Murder.

A vile crime that in the right circumstances can give birth to the final stage of the most vicious cycle of nature, the cycle of hate. The cycle generally starts out seemingly harmless. Somepony feels something to do with one or more of what is known as the seven sins; Greed, Envy, Gluttony, Pride, Sloth, Wrath and Lust. If the world is lucky, then everything stops there, at just a thought. If not, then whatever idea was held by the first pony gets acted upon. They may hoard all of the gold in an area. They may steal gold that doesn’t belong to them. Eat so much food there’s none left for others, duel a pony to the death because of an insult, refuse to do any work only to end up depressed and die alone, fall into a rage and slaughter everypony in sight, or simply have sex with everything that moves.

It doesn’t really matter what happens, only that it does. Those thoughts give way to action, and action gives way to pain. Pain caused by hunger, loss of loved ones, by misery and all it stands for. And this pain leads to hate. Hate for those with better lives, hate of an unfair world, hate for loss of the things one once had. And this hate can hang like a toxic cloud over the masses. It spreads like a disease, seeking out all those who share a similar pain and infecting them. It festers, constantly building up until it bursts forth like water from a broken dam gathering all those it has infected and begins a colossal crusade to incite as much pain as possible and thus breed more hatred.

That is the final stage of the cycle of hate. A stage that begins and ends with murder.

The stage known as war.

And that was exactly what Clover, Platinum, Puddinghead, Smartcookie, Hurricane, and Pansy were trying to avoid.

It was because of the murder of Celestia and Luna’s, that’s what we had decided to name them, parents. The two of them were a unicorn and earth pony couple, one of the very few mixed race couples in Equestria at the time, whom the stallion held a very high position in the court, and they had been violently killed shortly after the unicorn mare had given birth by a group of radical pegasi. This group of winged ponies had banded together claiming that unicorns were controlling the government and that earth ponies were receiving unfair special treatment from them. This was technically true to some small degree but there were reasons behind this. In terms of running a government, the Unicornian style of politics, while distasteful at times, was the most stable and efficient, a must have for any newly founded country. As for Earth ponies… well there’s a reason that pegasi and unicorns often referred to them as dumb beasts of burden.

Because they were dumb.

Like brains full of rocks dumb.

Sometimes literally…

So to be honest they needed help to get up to speed on modern ideas. It’s difficult trying to run a country when a third of the population still thinks that leeches are an effective remedy for curing diseases because they ‘suck out the tainted blood’.

But that is beside the point. This radical group calling themselves the ‘Wonderbolts’ were slowly gaining more and more support within the pegasi and earth pony community. Through thorough investigations Hurricane and Pansy found that they attained said support through a method of shock and awe. Evidently the leaders were incredible flyers and would perform complex aerial maneuvers during secret ‘air shows’ with the promise of making every pegasi that joined just as great as they. I didn’t really understand what was so great about it until Sombra compared it to he, Clover, and I giving magic lessons to every unicorn in the country. At which point I concluded these wonderbolts were full of it. There’s no way a hoofull of ponies can teach that many advanced techniques to such a large group

Of course as Clover soon explained, that was the point. After all that’s how an army is formed. You take the best of the best, a group of specialists and have them teach as much as they can to a large group until all of those ponies are above average in skills, but below the commanders themselves. And an army is exactly what these ‘Wonderbolts’ wanted.

The next few years found Ambrosia, Sombra, Platinum, Clover and I looking after the two alicorn foals while the remaining founders fought a civil war not long after our country's founding.

***

“Rade.”

…

“Rade.”

…

“……… breakfast is ready.”

“What was that Ambrosia?” I asked sitting up. It was early morning and I had finally gone back to sleep after helping to raise the sun. Ambrosia was lucky to be a pegasus in that regard. Having been found to be one of the most powerful unicorns ever born I am now forced to assist the nobles in raising the sun. This would not be so bad… if only the sun rose later in the day.

My job is not made any easier by the fact that jealous nobles keep slouching during the ceremony, or worse, actually fighting AGAINST raising it, forcing me to pick up the slack and work that much harder.

“Ah thou hast finally wakened from thy slumber. Come, we must go to the market.” My ears lowered and my face turned into a pout.
“But… breakfast…” Ambrosia sighed as she picked up a basket with her wing before turning to look at me with a deadpan stare.

“We cannot eat breakfast without food to fix a meal.” I cocked my head to the side confused. Why would we need to fix a meal? We lived in the palace alongside the unicornian nobility and the other major delegates of each race. All we had to do was speak to a maid and they’d have the food brought to us. And if we couldn’t find a maid, we could always just speak to private Pansy. She not only loved to cook, she was the one that taught Ambrosia how. And good thing too, as she earned her symbol. A silver chalice, with white feathered wings coming off the handle and a halo overtop.

“Why do WE have to fix it though?” I asked. To which she just stared at me…

Before her hoof made contact with her face. And alas, we had only just awoken too.

“Thou hast already forgotten… haven’t thee?”

“Forgotten what?”

“Look around thee Rade. Tell me what thou sees?” I did as requested… and immediately became very confused. This… this was not my room in the palace. This was a strange building that somehow looked familiar yet also seemed completely foreign. Just where was… oh. Right.

We moved out.

I had forgotten this. Ambrosia and I, though appreciative of the things Clover and Platinum had done for us, missed living together. Due to customs neither she nor I cared anything for it was not proper for unmarried ponies to sleep in the same room together. As a result most of our palace life had been spent in separate rooms and though some would assume we’d grow accustom to that over time, neither I nor Ambrosia had been able to sleep properly without the other nearby despite years apart and my brother Sombra for company. So saying our goodbyes we packed our things and moved into our new home.

Of course this also meant that we didn’t have a bunch of ponies waiting on us hoof and… other… hoof.

And so after ten more minutes of coaxing, and by coaxing I mean Ambrosia biting onto the scruff of my neck and dragging me through the house as I fought desperately to get back to bed, we finally went out into the market.

***

“Come now Rade, I know thee can do this. Sombra, prepare thyself, this will be your first official showing.” Clover said. Sombra and I stood side by side behind our mentor, or should I say former mentor, in a hallway leading out into the castle courtyards. We were teenagers now, Sombra being thirteen and me being fourteen. Well officially at least. Our names were known throughout Equestria as the greatest magical prodigies to ever live.

Today marked the end of our studies under Clover and the beginning of our own individual lives. After today I was going to continue my own magical studies as well as try to perfect the Light Magic style that Clover had taught me however I had also decided to begin playing a part in our country's government. Sombra on the other hoof had decided to dive fully into his studies of dark magic. Not that I could blame him. When we discovered that Sombra was all but completely immune to the negative effects dark magic typically held on ponies we were ecstatic. Dark magic is famous for its power but has always corrupted its practitioners. To find that Sombra was immune to this meant that he and he alone could study it to his hearts content and the world could finally obtain a true grasp of its potential, and better yet, how to counteract it. Dark magic has, after all, always been the main weapon of choice for wrongdoers. In a few years’ time, Sombra and I plan to bring our minds and magical styles together and run a myriad of test to develop the world’s first guide on Defense against the Dark Arts.

It also seemed fitting since it was a direct contrast to my own magical abilities. While I was a third generation light mage having learned the art from Clover who in turn learned it from his master Starswirl, Sombra would be diving into uncharted territory. And as hard as the two of us had worked, he certainly deserved it.

My thoughts were interrupted by the opening of the large doors ahead of us. “This is it.” Clover whispered while Sombra and I silently nodded our heads in agreement. Cold winter wind nipped at our faces almost immediately as we exited into the massive courtyard.

I had to resist the urge to look around. We were surrounded on all sides by ponies of every shape, size, and class. Truthfully I shouldn’t have been surprised. That was the point of this after all. The founders had released information nearly a month prior for every pony in the capital to gather here at sunrise if able to see the new way that pony kind would go about raising and lowering the sun and moon.

And so, after a brief speech from Platinum, Sombra and I forever cemented our place in history as the only ponies capable of raising the sun and moon entirely on our own.

* * *

“Rade this spell is impossible!” cried a little filly. I sighed in exasperation.

“Thou just watched me perform it. Clearly that is not the case.”

“Aye! But thou are a super genus!”

“It’s GENIUS big sister! Get it right!” screamed the other little filly.

“Leave me alone! Big words are hard!”

“Only for dumb dumbs!”

“I am not a dumb dumb!”

“Yes you are!”

“Am not!”

“Are too!”

“Am not!”

“Are too!”

“Am not!”

“Are too!”

“Am not!”

“Are too!”

“SILENCE!” The sudden outburst along with the slamming of a door caused the two young fillies to immediately shut up and look towards the source of the noise. Standing in the doorway was my younger brother Sombra, his eye twitching violently in annoyance at the two young fillies. “Luna and Celestia, apologize to each other right this instant and get back to work!”

“Now now little brother calm down. They are just fillies after all.” I said laughing internally as Celestia and Luna made stupid faces behind his back, clearly ignoring everything he said.

“He’s right Sombra.” Ambrosia called from the other side of the room. She walked over to us and set down a covered platter and several cups filled with iced tea. She hoofed a cup to me which I gratefully accepted before turning back to Sombra and continuing. “Thou hast to be gentle yet firm. Like this.” Ambrosia took a sip of her own drink before walking over to the now wrestling fillies.

“Excuse me, Celestia, Luna.” The two fillies continued to ignore her far too caught up in their playful squabble. “Luna. Celestia. I’m speaking to thee.” Again the fillies ignored her and Ambrosia began to frown. Sombra and I snuck a look at each other and couldn’t help chuckling a bit at her expense which only caused her frown to deepen. “Celestia del Rosa and Lunalesca if thou do not settle down and listen to me this instant then I swear by Fausts holy light I shall teach thee the true meaning of fear.” Without hesitation both Luna and Celestia stopped their roughhousing and froze in a rather comedic position. Luna let go of Celestias mane and Celestia dropped the stick she was using to hit Luna. Both of them trembled under Ambrosia’s gaze.

I looked over to my brother and whispered “Why did Pansy teach Ambrosia ‘The Stare’ again?”

“Because it was the only way to get the two of us to behave when we were younger.”

“Oh. Right. We weren’t really that bad were we?”

“I seem to recall us accidentally making several golems out of wood… in the middle of the forest. We were still their age at the time.”

“Ah! The Timberwolves! I wonder how they’re doing now?”

“According to reports they’re ruthlessly attacking any and all forms of life they come across and are slowly gaining a type of sentience.”

“Oh. Whoops.”

“Aye. Whoops.” He deadpanned before letting out a sigh. “Well, I guess I’d best get back to teaching them. Why not take a moment and relax with Ambrosia? Thou hast been busy of late and I know thee hast seen little of each other. Worry not for me, I can take of them on my own for a while.”

“Ah, thank you little brother.” I replied with a smile. He gave a nod before walking away and I sat silently for a moment before Ambrosia took her place beside me. She laid her head upon my shoulder, letting out a hum of contentment before deciding to speak to me.

“Rade… are thou seeing any other mares?” I froze for a moment before stammering out a reply to her unexpected question.

“I uh… what? Of course no-“

“Why not?”
“Um… what?”

“Why aren’t thou seeing any other mares? Rade, both Sombra and thee are the most eligible bachelors in all of Equestria. Sombra doth not court for he wishes to concentrate on his studies. Is it the same for thee?”

“Er well… no… but-”

“Then dost thou fear hurting my feelings? I assure thee Rade that is not the case. I am more than happy to share thee.”

“Well yes I am concerned about that a little but that is not it either.”

“Then what, Rade? Tell me please.” I looked over to Ambrosia to find her eyes were filled with confusion and something akin to worry.

“Ambrosia, it is not that I have an issue with courting another. I simply… haven’t found another I feel I could love in the same way I do thee and I do not wish to court another mare when the feelings I have for them dost not properly measure up.”

Ambrosia stared at me for a few moments trying to find any hint of a lie, when she found none she gave a sigh before shaking her head and snuggling closer into my side. “I understand Rade, but thou misunderstands the essence of courting. When a stallion courts a mare the entire purpose of that is to see if they are capable of developing feelings for each other. Other couples are not like us Rade. They have not spent their entire lives in the company of the other. They must get to know each other, sometimes for years before they fall in love.”

“Rade I want thee to take the idea of courting other mares quite seriously. As a pegasus I am already naturally frail and my body is far from the healthiest. Were it not for thy enchantments, yes I know of them, I fear I would be bedridden all the time. And while I know thou art a great enough spell caster to help me through childbirth with ease, I still fear for what may befall any of our children. Rade, the founders have named both you and Sombra as the future rulers of Equestria. In a decades time both of thee shall be sitting on a throne ruling over the new Equestrian diarchy. Between ruling a country, thy research and teaching whatever magical successor thou may choose, if I were to perish-”

“Thou will not-!”I attempted to interrupt but was silenced by Ambrosia’s hoof.

“IF I were to perish, while I know thou would spend as much time with them as thou could, thou simply would not have the time to look over our little ones yourself. Especially not with thy… grieving. So please, for me, try to find love with others. At least one, so that I do not have to worry.”

I closed my eyes and took a breath. Ambrosia dying was a topic she brought up often due to how frail her body was and I hated it every time. With all the power I have did she really think I couldn’t protect her? No, that wasn’t it. She knows I can protect her, she’s simply being realistic. Accidents happen and ponies die. That’s just how the world works and she knows that if anything ever went wrong she would want a plan put in place. And I guess… I guess I couldn’t really argue with that.

But if I had any say, this plan would never have to fall through.

“Alright Ambrosia. I shall try.” She smiled at that and laid her head back upon my shoulder for a few more minutes until we heard a loud crash. Looking around our eyes came to rest on the sight of several broken pieces of alchemic equipment, two scared fillies, and one very angry Sombra. With a chuckle from us both we went over to rescue the fillies from their terrible fate.

***

You are my sunshine

My only sunshine

You make me happy

When skies are gray

You never know dear

How much I love you

Please don’t take my sunshine away

Ambrosia sang a simple tune as we sat in front of the fireplace. I was older now, around twenty-one. Celestia and Luna were cuddled together to my left. They were eleven years old now, but seemed to age just a bit faster than the average pony so that they seemed closer to mine. But while physically she looked like a grown mare, mentally she was still a child. About two years ago they shocked us all when they tried raising the sun and moon like my brother and I and succeeded. They even earned their Symbols. It was quite the exciting day.

Looking to my right I could see my younger adoptive brother Sombra sitting a little ways away with one hoof wrapped tightly around his jet black spear as he huddled beneath his blue cape like a blanket. A pang of sorrow swept through my heart. This… this was the last night we would spend in this little home. That’s what it had been since my thirteenth birthday. Our home. We shared it together, me, Ambrosia, Sombra, Luna, and Celestia. We were a family and this was our home and come dawn…we would be leaving it.

It had been a difficult decision… but it was one that needed to be made. Two years ago a small group of ponies were found practically crawling into the capital. Some were sick and all were covered in grotesque scars. Their ribs were showing, proving they hadn’t eaten a proper meal in years and the few unicorns and pegasi there were had their horns removed and their wings damaged beyond repair, never to fly or use magic again. And that’s when we learned the name of an enemy who would be a thorn in my side for years to come.

Winter.

Up to that point he was only a prince, having ascended shortly after his people's failed takeover of all three tribes… or what we thought was a failed takeover. There were many unicorns, earth ponies, and pegasi who had simply refused to look for a new home and remained in the motherland.

Realizing he wasn’t strong enough to take over Equestria he decided to lay claim to the motherland and not pursue anything more… for right then anyways. With the motherland under his control, he enslaved the native ponies that lived there, turning them into cheap labor. Some had the guts to resist however and managed to escape. Hence the group that was found two years ago. Since then numerous actions had been taken and there was plenty of talk on what to do. Which… sadly… wasn’t much.

Winter obviously wasn’t a brilliant tactician at the time, but he wasn’t a BAD one either. His forces were just enough that a simple rescue mission was impossible. Any attempt to infiltrate would undoubtedly be caught and a war would begin which would not end well for either side.

After all, war breeds hate and when your enemies feed off of hate to make themselves stronger… well that’s just a recipe for disaster.

And so those were our options. Go to war and cause so many deaths it just wouldn’t be worth it… or let them suffer. This wasn’t an easy decision by any means, as there were still ponies who had friends and family being tortured over there. In the end though it was decided that nothing could be done unless some random third party who had no affiliation with Equestria decided they wanted to liberate the motherland.

And of course, that’s when I had one of my less than mentally stable ideas.

With all this in mind I asked if we could have volunteers. Anypony willing to fight to save the motherland… at the price of giving up citizenship in Equestria. In essence we would throw away everything we’d strived to achieve these past two decades, put on a bunch of armor and wield weapons we may or may not know how to use, and march straight into the heart of enemy territory knowing full well that if we get into a tight spot we can’t retreat back to Equestria for help. It was an all or nothing plan. Needless to say I threw the country into an uproar.

Again.

And so… here we were. Each of us had spent the past year being trained and drilled in the arts of combat. I didn’t want Ambrosia to come, but there was little I could do to dissuade her. Sombra and I had made our choice. Our magical prowess alone would make up for a good chunk of the forces we were missing. And she had decided since I was going, she would come too.

That… and my brother and I would be miserable during the journey without her since neither of us could cook.

“Brother.” I turned my gaze to Sombra watching as he stood up and pulled a hoof through his red and black mane one of the few side effects of his experiments. “It’s time.” I nodded my head and quickly stood up with him. Ambrosia gave us both gentle smiles before walking over to Luna and Celestia and nudging them awake. Luna was up within seconds, but Celestia's lazy flank once again refused to rise. Normally she would do this out of laziness, but I had a feeling that this time it was just a reluctance to leave the place she called home.

Alas, Ambrosia grabbed her pink mane in her mouth and gave a good yank, eliciting a small yelp from the white alicorn and forcing her up. We all walked together as we exited the house. The moon was high in the sky and the roads were lit up with torch lamps. Like us many ponies were beginning to rise, ready to start the new day. And like us, many were turning around, gazing at the homes we would soon be leaving. With a heavy sigh I motioned for the others to follow. We didn’t have any more time to waste.

Ponies everywhere were watching my brother and I, they’re gazes transfixed on the two ponies who would be performing the ancient ceremony for the final time. We stood in the courtyard of Cheval castle. Surrounding us on every side were unicorns, pegasi and earth ponies who had come to watch my brother and I at work. The turnout was… larger than we anticipated. It honestly felt like everypony from the three tribes had gathered here. Even Clover and Platinum had come to see us work, much to Luna’s and Celestia’s delight. Even though they knew part of the truth on what happened to their parents, they considered Clover and Platinum to be their real mom and dad.

Ambrosia, Luna and Celestia all flew over to Lady Platinum and sat down near her. I looked back at them, giving them a happy smile before turning to my brother, a serious expression on my face. We had both decided that since this would be our last time doing this for a long while, if at all, we had better make it worth it.

“Razzle dazzle brother?” I asked. If we weren’t in public I’m sure he would have facehooved. Instead he settled for an amused sigh.

“Aye brother… razzle dazzle.”

With that both Sombra and I closed our eyes, pulling on the vast reserves of magic we both possessed. When we opened them again our eyes glowed a brilliant white. We looked at each other, giving a single simple nod before turning our gaze back to the sky. We stood up on our hinds legs, allowing the magic in us to flow as we levitated ourselves into the air. Lights swirled around us, flashing brilliant colors and hues as we climbed higher and higher into the sky. And then the real magic began Sombra held out a hoof, pointing it at the moon and pulling it ever so slowly down. Following his command, the moon did as told and quickly began to descend until finally it fell behind the horizon. One by one the stars in the sky blinked out, and I could hear quiet giggling from behind me. Ah stars, the greatest thing Luna had ever invented, even if it was by pure accident.

Now it was my turn. Raising my hoof I willed the sun to rise, its golden rays slowly peeking over the horizon as the light basked the world in its warm glow. Higher and higher it climbed, clawing its way to its position in the sky, my magic leading it all the way before finally locking it in its place. Our job done Sombra and I allowed our magic to die down and slowly the two of us drifted towards the ground. We smiled at each other, shaking hooves for a job well done.

The crowd around us roared into applause, no doubt due to the extra lengths we went for our showmanship. We turned, looking up to the five ponies we considered our closest friends and family. Ambrosia trotted towards us and promptly took her place by my side. I knew Clover and Platinum wanted to come with us, but without them the balance of power in Equestria would shift too greatly and the country would fall from within. Knowing this, we had to make due.

Celestia came running up to me, her hooves wrapping around me tightly as tears streamed down her face while her sister did the same with my brother. “Stay… please…” she begged. I didn’t want to leave her. Honestly I didn’t. But my powers were needed elsewhere and she was too young and inexperienced to accompany me.

“Tia. Thou knowest I wish not to leave. But I have little say in the matter. Thy pony brethren NEED me, and it would be wrong of me to stay out of selfish desire.”
“Then let sister and I come with thee! We are powerful as well and you have been teaching us for years! Surely there is something we can do?!”

“Oh Tia, I understand thy grief, but you lack the experience necessary to join us on this crusade. Power alone will not save thee in war and you have but one life. This is no game of war you play with your friends Tia. When one falls on the field of battle, they rarely rise again. And besides, somepony must raise and lower the sun and moon.” I said with a laugh, trying to ease the situation. It didn’t work though as Celestia only squeezed me tighter as the tears crashed even harder. I looked over to find Sombra in a similar position with Luna. Unfortunately, Sombra had no idea what to do or say so Ambrosia was helping to try and calm Luna down.

After sometime though the girls managed to… cry less. We were able to pry them off of us and made sure they stood beside the ponies they considered their parents. Platinum came up to us and wrapped the three of us in a hug tight enough to make Chancellor Puddinghead proud. She never spoke, just cried. I couldn’t imagine how it must have felt to her. Princess Platinum had a motherly soul and the bratty behavior brought upon her by a life of aristocracy had long been suppressed by the time I met her, replaced instead by the strong and responsible leader ponies know today. She was there with Clover the day they found Ambrosia and I. Where Clover taught me of science and math, she taught me language and the arts. She spent her days helping Pansy teach Ambrosia the in’s and out’s of being a lady and spoiled Sombra as much as she could after learning he was an orphan. She was our mother, no doubt about that. And like all mothers the day had come to watch us leave.

If only it wasn’t off to war.

She let go as slow as she could, reluctance plain on her tear stained face, and backed up to revisit her spot next to Clover and the two alicorn fillies. Clover walked up to us then, his face as blank and unreadable as ever. I didn’t know what to expect from him to be honest. A lecture? A nod? Nothing at all? I honestly had no idea.

“War.” He said simply. I replied with a nod.

“Aye.”

“I… fought in a war once.” My eyes widened and I could only assume Sombra’s and Ambrosia’s had done the same. This was news to me. “It was long ago. Just after I had finished my studies under master Starswirl and long before I helped bring the pony races together. The pegasi had begun pushing their ‘border patrol’ beyond acceptable limits and as such a small war took place over land disputes. They were small skirmishes mostly and the fighting never went very deep into either of our lands. Still though... I wished thee would never have to face such horrors. Nevertheless such a day has come.”

We all looked at Clover, his usual stoic mask breaking for just a moment as his eyes filled with fear and worry, a sight none of the three of us had ever seen from him, and one we did not wish to see again. But just as quickly as it came, it went leaving only fierce determination behind. His horn glowed and an object appeared in front of us. It was his old brown cloak. Tattered and worn with the occasional patch here and there and a short but thick rope used to tighten the hood, a single glance was all it took to tell it had seen many years. “Radiance. I want you to have this. This cloak originally belonged to MY mentor, Starswirl, back during his travelling days. He bestowed it to me, and now I wish to do the same to you. Wear it well, wear it proud, but most importantly…” He stopped for a moment to place the cloak overtop the armor I was wearing before backing off and looking me dead in the eye. “Wear it home.”

I stared at Clover for a while and despite my better judgment, nodded my head to a promise I was not entirely sure I could keep. That seemed to be enough for Clover and he gave us a nod before shuffling back towards the girls.

And so with everything said and done, we bid our final farewells to our friends and joined the rest of the makeshift liberation army. Sombra and I stood at the front, ready to give the order to move out. Every pony turned towards Cheval castle, giving it a final look and salute, before turning back around and beginning the long trek to war.

***

“Hello there little filly.” I lied on my stomach fighting off the shiver forced on by the snow. We were just outside the borders of the motherland, trekking our way up a wide mountain trail, and had discovered a young earth pony who showed nary a single scar. Upon seeing us she had taken off as fast as her little legs would carry her and dove underneath an outcropping of rock in the mountainside. It was no more than a tiny hovel, but it kept her well out of the reach of the rest of us adults. I would have grabbed her with my magic, but I felt that would only have caused her even more distress.

Not that I was without distress myself. We were literally on the border of Windigo territory. One or two ponies may not have meant much to them, but a whole fully equipped army on their doorstep wouldn’t require much coaxing to force action. The longer we spent standing around waiting for this child the higher the chances of us being spotted. Something Sombra was quick to point out.

“Brother, we don’t have time for this.” I turned my head towards him with a frown.

“I understand that Sombra. But we came to save our kinsman. All of them. Starting with her.”

“Then grab the child with thy magic.”

“I told thee brother I do not wish to scare her. She is still young and of gentle spirit. Have patience.”

“Our enemies shant grant us such a luxury.”

“The same enemies I do not spy, even on the furthest horizon.” I turned my attention back to the small filly quivering under the rock. While she was still clearly terrified, she seemed to have calmed down slightly.

“Thee… thee are here to… to save us?” she asked. I couldn’t help but give her a warm gentle smile.

“Indeed.” That seemed to calm the filly down significantly, even eliciting a small sigh of relief and a tiny smile. That smile didn’t last long however, and was quickly replaced by a teary eyed frown.

“My dam… she… she told me of ponies. Ponies who… who left to find better quarter in the world. Who left before the windigos came. She said… said she had been a foolish filly. Staying behind out of pride. I… I always hoped… that thou would come for us. That thou would not forget us.”

“Well then, my heart swells to say we have not. We are on our way now to assist thee and thine fellows.”

“Wait… are thou heading through Avon’s ravine?”

“Aye.”

“If thou headest through there, all shall be met with death.” I blinked in surprise and looked behind me to see the reactions of the rest of the troops. Many were shocked, others confused, most too exhausted to care. Sombra though was like me, a calm face of pure curiosity.

“And why is that little filly?” Sombra asked leaning his head down to get a better look at her.

“Mother said the ravine is filled with rays made of sparkling rocks.”

“Rays?” Sombra asked, tilting his head in confusion.

“I think she means magical arrays brother. As in traps.”

“Impossible. We would have picked them up in our scans by now.”

“Mother also said thou couldst not divine their location with the assistance of thy charm, even if thee were to stare at them in contest.” This caused me to tilt my head in confusion as well. While it is possible to mask a magical array, fully concealing it’s existence from a magical scan is impossible and any can be found if the unicorn, and now the occasional pegasus thanks to a discovery by my mentor, is skilled enough. Or so I thought.

“Then perhaps thy mother is simply bad at magical scans.” I shot my brother a glare when he spoke and prepared to scold him until the filly spoke again.

“My dam is gone…” She said and promptly dropped her head to the ground… quiet sniffles leaving her muzzle. I glared at my brother again and all he could do was look away in guilt. I tried to think of something to say that would soothe the child but came up short.

And so as always with situations such as these, in swooped Ambrosia. She laid on her stomach just like me and extended both her hooves for the filly to take. She looked at Ambrosia for a moment, obviously conflicted on whether to partake in the comfort of Ambrosia’s warm body, or to stay safely in her little hovel where the world could not touch her. Seeing the smile on Ambrosia’s face seemed to make the deal though and the small child quickly found herself in Ambrosia’s golden hooves.

I stood up as Ambrosia wrapped her wings around the filly and began to sing the lullaby I’d come to love so much. The little one seemed surprised by the wings, but wasn’t at all uncomfortable about them, digging her head deeper into the feathers. I walked over to Sombra and together we began to reassess the situation.

“What do you think brother?” I asked.

“About what? The arrays? We need not fear. Tis but a scare tactic employed by the windigos to keep slaves in line. Arrays that cannot be scanned… what nonsense!”

“I would agree with thee… yet… do thee remember what else was said?” Sombra squinted his eyes thinking for a moment before opening in realization.

“Ah the ‘sparkling rocks’.”

“Aye. Thou art the greatest authority on crystal magic. What doth thee make of that statement?”

“Hmm… crystals can be used to store magic and maintain passive spells depending on the type of gem and the spells intentions. To make a trap, thou wouldst require the ability to convert a passive spell to an active one. A deed impossible without the aid of a runic seal to which even then the chances of success are… slim at best. And since one can make a more efficient trap with none but the seal, it makes the whole process… rather pointless.”

“But what is the positive of a crystal, if used for trap making?”

“Seals cannot store a charm for more than a fortnight. A crystal can store magic indefinitely. Where a seal withers away, a crystal may sit for a thousand years and lose nary a drop of magic.”

“Hmm… I never took an interest in crystal magic, though now I’m finding myself drawn to it.” This caused Sombra to smile.

“You are welcome to assist me in my experiments anytime brother.”

“Aye. When this is over I think I shall do just that. But back to the matter at hand. It would be one thing for our enemies to say that the ravine is filled with traps, but if for little more than a bit of fear, why say so much? Why not say simply ‘there are traps’ and leave it? Does the filly’s description not strike you as a bit too… specific?”

Sombra stood silently for a moment with a hoof on his chin, thinking the details over. “I… will admit that does strike me as odd. Aye. Very well, let us announce it to the troops as truth. It matters little, whether there are traps or not. There is no other way into the motherland that offers an element of surprise.”

Nodding my head in agreement the two of us walked over to the rest of our troops. Ambrosia was sitting around playing with the filly we had found and huddling close to her to keep warm. After a few moments we alerted them to the dangers the filly had told us about the ravine and our plans for dealing with it which were met with many unsatisfied groans and whimpers of fear.

Evidently ‘watch where you step’ was not the type of genius plan they expected from us.

“Um… mister… sir?” I turned around, looking back to the young filly who had spoken up when I asked if there were any questions. “Uh… there is… one more way in. Under Everfall, or at least… that’s what they call castle Vitrum now, we found a bunch of caverns. They’re really old and filled with strange blue flowers. But the ooze is little and if thou don’t touch it thou art fine.”

“And if thou DO touch this… ooze?” Sombra asked.

“Um… there’s lots of smoke… a sizzling sound… and then whatever touched it gets all sorts of bloated and… well… explodes.” Sombra and I looked at each other with deadpan stares.

“Tainted magic.” Sombra and I said in unison. The little filly only tilted her head in confusion.

“What… is that?” My brother opened his mouth to explain but I stopped him with my hoof. Knowing my brother we would be here for the next few hours as he explained the intricacies of magic to a little earth pony who didn’t even have a horn to cast with.

“Thou see little one.” I said glancing over at Sombra with a look that told him to let me handle it. “Tainted magic is one of the seven classes of magic. They are Light, Harmonic, Astral, Chaotic, Dark, Tainted, and Pure. Tainted magic causes dangerous effects on anypony who comes in contact with it, much like those thou attested to.”

“Oh…”

“I’m sorry to say this little one, but a cavern brimming with tainted magic feels little safer than the ravine.” I said as gently as I could. She was trying to help, she just… wasn’t.

“Yes it is.”

“How so?” Sombra asked.

“Because, that’s how I got out here. I can be thy guide! I can take thee all the way to the room filled with fireworks!” Sombra and I looked at the girl. Blinked. Looked at each other. Blinked again. And then looked back at her one last time before grinning like children.

“Fireworks brother.” I said.

“Black powder brother.” Sombra replied.

“EXPLOSIONS BROTHER!” we shouted in unison as we succumbed to the urge to dance like the little colts everypony knew we were. We both knew exactly what the other was thinking. A room filled with explosives? We literally could not ask for a better entry point. We walk in, take all the boom powder we want, then light it up in specific areas causing mass chaos while we escort as many prisoners out as we can. After that, the real war will begin.

Also explosions.

“What did thou say thy name was again, little filly?”

“Willow. Weeping Willow.” She replied with a smile and a wiggle of her tail. I couldn’t help but grin even wider at the cute little movement.

“Well then Willow… lead the way!”

***

“Crystalsssssssssss!”

“Stop it Sombra.” I said as I shot another beam of magic from behind a wall of snow. This war had made me incredibly thankful for Ambrosias skill at creating snow forts as a child. Between her building and Sombra and I’s spells, we were able to turn the massive amounts of snow the Windigos make into our greatest defense. We had even managed to replace some of our weapons with nothing more than enchanted snowballs that violently exploded on impact. As we’d throw exploding piles of ice at them, they’d do the same to us.

It was the most extreme snowball fight in the history of Equus.

This war has been raging for two years now and more than a few lives have been lost. At first we were constantly on the defensive, often times being backed into a corner. At the moment we were locked in a bit of a stalemate. We had freed the majority of our enslaved kinsman and were making a push in an attempt to retake a major city. At the moment things were… calm I guess you could say. Well, as calm as they get on a battlefield. Our enemies were out of range of us, and we were out of range of them. The only ‘attacking’ we were doing were warning shots. Just enough for each army to remind the other that we were in fact still there and VERY much out for blood. Not that windigos have blood… or any other kind of tangible bodily fluid. As a result my family, along with several officers, were sitting together behind a magically reinforced snow fort wall discussing strategies, tactics, and the opposite sex all while eating some of Ambrosias homemade stew.

Somehow she makes war rations edible and also serves as one of the army’s very few medics, meaning she’s either filling our stomachs or putting them back. It also gives a whole new meaning to ‘the way to a stallions heart is through his stomach’. Something she has been keen to tell me multiple times. Where she finds the ingredients for stew two years into a war with steadily depleting rations consisting of only bread and cheese I’ll never know.

“I can’t! I mean… just LOOK at these! Fire rubies! I never wouldst hath thought of this! They’re amazing! Capable of igniting the wind on impact, letting loose both a ball of destructive flame and skin melting shrapnel! Thou would know I learned that the windigo who developed these was the pinnacle of crystal magic research for his people! Imagine the progress we could have made in the field from just a simple conversation between the two of us! Together we could do more than simply expand the field! We could REVOLUTIONIZE it! Oh what I wouldn’t give to meet him!” Sombra ranted, ending it with a distant dreamy smile on his face.

“That is nice brother, but that doth not explain your reasons for sticking out and wiggling thy tongue at the ‘s’ on the end of ‘crystals’ as though thou are some kind of snake.” I deadpanned.

“Ah. That is merely to annoy thee.” I glared at him as he once again drew out the ‘s’ in ‘crystals’.

“Sombra.” Willow called, and we all looked down at her. “Why dost thou want to meet the windigo? Aren’t they evil?” At that my eyes softened. Willow had remained with us this entire time and though she rarely had anything to do with actual battles, her small size had made her absolutely invaluable for reconnaissance. Was I against using children as tools of war? Of course. In fact, I never did. Every time we tried to make Willow stay with the rest of the civilians, she would sneak out, sneak INTO the enemy base, find out as much as she could, and come back to report to me, much to my chagrin each and every time.

I can’t really stay mad at her. More often than not she came back with something that saved our lives or gave us an incredible advantage. There was rarely a time when she came back with info that we couldn’t use. To say she had been a valuable asset in this war would be the understatement of the century. She had even received her Symbol out of all of this, by helping with emergency first aid for various troops. Needless to say I was happy to find her talent was in healing rather than infiltration and intelligence gathering. As useful as that may have been, the world doesn’t really need more soldiers.

“Willow…” I said, calling her attention to me. “The windigos aren’t evil.” She tilted her head in obvious confusion. Even some of the officers did. “Willow, the windigos aren’t evil at all. They have about as much say in this as we do. Probably less. Thou must understand, the windigos feed off of hate. Tis more than just a means of gaining power, it is their sustenance. They can’t survive without it. If nopony in this world hated anything, the windigos would soon find themselves meeting the gray pony. Being unable to feed off their own hate only makes matters worse as they can’t have a nation of their own. Because of that, throughout history the windigos have come together time and again to conquer the land of another and enslave them so that they may live in comfort.”

“But…” Willow began. “That’s… that’s just so wrong!”

“Is it?” Sombra asked. “Is it really so wrong to desire more than thou have? To wish for a better life? Surely thou remembers the tales of that earth pony seer thee hast listened to on so many occasions. The one who has seen visions of a golden city resting on the side of a mountain? Of metal buildings scraping the sky? And surely you have found yourself wanting for those things? The windigos aren’t that different from us. They are individuals, just like us. Have families, just like us. They run, jump, laugh, fight, cry and play just as we do. They have dreams and ambitions, terrors and fears. They are living creatures who live in the same convoluted world as thou and I, not a faceless evil entity that kills and tortures with impunity.”

“Aye but… that’s… that’s different.”

“How so?” I asked.

“Because I wouldn’t do it at the cost of another!”

“The windigos don’t have a choice in the matter. They feed off hate. If they are to have a country, then they need a source for that hate and what better way to obtain it than to enslave another species and treat them with the worst brutality?”

“So what… we ponies are nothing more than… than a FARM to them?” Willow asked. I slowly shook my head.

“No Willow, we are a LIFELINE. Without us ponies living under their icy hooves, they can never live the comfortable happy lives we ponies have almost always known.”

“So wait… what will happen to them if we win this war?”

“They will be forced to hide in the shadows once more, constantly hunting for whatever scraps of hatred they can manage. And if they can’t manage to gather enough hate…”

“They’ll… they’ll die won’t they?” Willow asked, though it was more of a statement than it was a question. “If they win, they’ll get to live happy easy lives. But if we win this war, they’ll be forced to be little more than stray dogs digging through our trash, begging for scraps from our table. Scraps that, since we hate them, we won’t be willing to give. And if we don’t give them… they’ll die. If they lose they lose it all… literally.” I could only nod my head in acknowledgement as the weight of the situation seemed to click for the young filly.

“How can thou live with thyself for that, Rade?”

“… I can’t.” It was a simple answer… yet so difficult at the same time. “I can’t live with it Willow. Tis a horrible thing to do. Not only will I have killed many of them during this war, but I know that my killing won’t stop there. Thousands more will die due to the aftermath of my deeds. However just as many ponies will live in suffering and die should I do nothing.”

“Then how are we to know we’re doing the right thing?” Willow asked. I took another deep breath and stared deeply into her eyes.

“We’re not.” Willows eyes widened. “We’re not doing the right thing. There IS NO right thing. If we leave them alone, people suffer and die. If we fight them, people suffer and die. There is no right or wrong here, there’s not even a choice between the lesser of two evils. No matter what we do, the same number of people will be taking the eternal sleep. The only thing this war decides is whether those people will be ponies or windigos.”

“Are we… are we… evil?”

I gently hugged the young pony who respected me so much as I whispered the honest, but cruel cruel truth. “It matters not why we fight, only that we do. When war breaks out…” I pulled her away so I could look at her.

“Both sides become evil.”

***

A powerful gust of icy wind sent my body tumbling through the throne room like a ragdoll. before slamming me into the wall and leaving a Rade sized crater. Instinct alone prompted me to cast inertia inhibitors during my flight, spell matrices made to look like gates that slowed one’s movement, and without them I would likely be dead. Though to some, that may be preferable to the situation I was currently in.

Sombra and I were now locked in heated battle against Winter, the Windigo Prince. The court hall that once held priceless objects and art that showed the beauty and grace of ponies and Windigo’s alike, now mirrored their rage and fury. Once pristine pillars were now crumbled on the ground either cut to ribbons by blades of ice stronger than steel, or blasted apart by magic of cataclysmic force. Jagged pillars of black ice pierced the floor and roof, sticking out haphazardly, ready to impale any reckless enemies. A dark mist flowed through the whole room, adding to the already eerie feel.

I shook my head, trying to refocus my now bleary vision. I was exhausted, bleeding, and were I not fighting for my life, would readily slip straight into unconsciousness. From the sounds of battle not far away, my brother was faring little better. I took a few steps forward, still blinking out the last of the dizziness when I heard a sickening squelch, followed by a gut wrenching scream.

“SOMBRA?! SOMBRA ART THOU ALRIGHT?!” I was glad to finally have my eyes refocus at just that moment… only to see my brother heading straight towards me. Quickly standing on my rear hooves I caught him and the two of us went skidding across the icy floor. As we skimmed across the ground I could feel it quickly growing colder. I shoved my brother to my right just in time to meet the business end of Winters weapon, a giant club easily three times my size made of enchanted ice that would never melt. Knowing another such blow would soon be coming I threw up my custom shield spell. It was a favorite of mine. Where most shields were simply a dome or sphere around the caster, mine were crafted by combining small hexagon like plates that I could reinforce individually, letting me use less magic to stop bigger blows.

That and it looked cool.

Sadly I didn’t have enough magic anymore to stop the blow, but it reduced the force enough for me to retain my bearings. Within an instant I found Winter was back to dueling me again, swinging away with reckless abandon as I dodged and deflected his attacks to the best of my ability. I had to watch my step, as alongside his mace he would forge small blades of ice in the air with his wings and shoot them at me, forcing me to jump away and either into his club, or some other frozen trap he had laid about on the ground.

To be honest, Winter himself wasn’t that great of a fighter. He was rather slow, especially for a creature not two heads taller than myself, and his movements were easy to read. Had this been a straight hoof to hoof battle, we would have won long ago.

No, what made Winter so formidable was his magic. He could create ice virtually anywhere near instantaneously. Stand still for too long and spikes will either rain from the ceiling or burst through the floor and impale you. Fail to watch your surroundings, and you’ll find yourself a pincushion for all the icy needles he likes to make and throw from the air. And the only warnings you got were minute body movements. A certain turn of the hoof meant spikes from the floor or wall, a certain swish of the tail would mean icy death from above, and a twitch of the eye would mean little ice missiles of death.

Sadly they only told me they were coming, not exactly where they’d be coming from or when they’d get there.

I jumped back a bit as Winters club slammed into the ground, blow breaking the floor and the shockwave sending me slightly into the air. A quick look at my adversary told me I was far from out of trouble. Lighting up my horn I teleported away only to watch as the spot I had been standing in mere moments before was filled with sharp points of black ice. I had no time to think about how close I had come to death however, and quickly turned around to take off and look for my brother.

A few brief seconds of frantic searching later and I found him slumped against the wall, unconscious but alive with his right fore hoof clearly not sitting in its appropriate position. As I rushed towards him I heard a cracking sound under my hooves. Thinking fast I tried to dodge out of the way only to be smashed in the side by what I assumed to be Winters club. Faster than I could blink I was imbedded in the roof of the throne room.

Winter came floating up towards the ceiling landing gracefully a few feet away from me as he slowly walked over with no more difficulty than he would have on the floor. He forced an extra bit of magic to flow through his veins, giving his icy black body a subtle yet harsh ghostly glow.

“Slutligen , det är över . Du ... hästar går in i min borg , slakta mitt folk och du har fräckheten att kräva sin för fred! Du gör mig sjuk!”

“Aye,” I replied. “I would LOVE a plate of… whatever thou said.”

“Sluta jävlas!” My snarky comment was met with a blow to my left foreleg from his club.

“Gah! Then speak Equish!” Winter let out an indignant snort, but complied nonetheless.

“I said… that I have been waiting for this moment… for quite some time.” I watched as Winter brought up his club, only to bring it back down again on me. I lacked the magic for another teleport and could only brace myself with skintight shields that only just kept the wound from being fatal. I watched through blurred and bleeding eyes as Winter said something my ears could no longer comprehend before dragging the club backwards for another round with my face.
I can’t remember how long that went on. It seemed like an eternity. I would get hit, Winter would scream something in rage, and then he’d drag the club back to do it again, over and over in an endless cycle of rage and pain. Each blow would ramp up the pain and sap my magic forcing me to reinforce the most important parts of my body. Soon I barely had enough magic to protect even that and as the protection dwindled the damage could only increase. What started out as the equivalent to doing belly flops on a pool of ice water, soon turned to dislocated joints and broken bones.

To others, I can only assume that my ability to keep my shield up for as long as I did was a testament to my magical prowess. To me it was nothing more than the delaying of the inevitable. Finally after what seemed like an eternity that would never come to an end, I heard a particular sound that could not be mistaken, the sound of shattering glass.

The sound of a broken shield.

My pupils shrank to pinpricks as I watched my magical barrier fall apart. I tried to summon another, but the light of my horn only glowed for a moment before flickering out and dying. Winter broke out in a grin and chuckled darkly at my situation.

“Is this it? The mightiest crusade turned conquest in a millennium, and thou are the champions who stand as its face? The anima of thousands of troops have passed to the Aether on THY words? And THIS is the result? No… no this is not enough. I have lost too much to thee for it to end like this. I will have my revenge. I will not allow this battle to end… not until you are begging for death!”

Ice so cold it burned slowly encased my left shoulder and I soon noticed a strange pinpoint pressure pushing on the joint. The pressure built, pushing harder, stronger. Suddenly the point of the pressure grew sharp and I felt my skin and some of my bone give way. I screamed in pain as I now realized the ice had stabbed me through and was sluggishly forcing its way out towards the other end of my shoulder.

It continued to grow, the thin cone of ice gradually getting bigger as it tore its way through my body. On occasion Winter would force it to grow several inches in an instant causing me to scream even louder while he cackled away.

After it burst through the opposite side of my shoulder it began to expand. Now as it grew taller it also grew wider. I felt my forehoof being ripped apart, cords of muscle snapping in two while bones cracked and broke away from one another. I cried out in mind numbing pain as my shoulder was mutilated from the inside out. Eventually I realized that my entire limb had given way save for a few strips of skin and fur. Winter moved to stand overtop of me and slammed one hoof into my chest, breaking my ribs as he grabbed my left arm in his cold grip. So exhausted was I, I couldn’t muster the energy to scream as he ripped what little remained of it off. I could only stare wide eyed as my hoof hung loosely in his grip. He held it in front of me for a moment, taunting me with it before tossing it aside.

“And now… the oth- ARGH!” Winter shouted, his threats interrupted by shards of black crystal stabbing him in his side sending him flying across the room. Within seconds my brother, Sombra, was next to me prying me out of the ceiling with his scythe. Luckily for me he remembered to dull the edge with magic before using it as a makeshift crowbar.

I fell face first into the floor and would have groaned were I not feeling pain far more intense elsewhere on my body. Still far too exhausted to scream, I looked to my left to find Sombra casting a fire spell to cauterize my, or rather what was left of, my left hoof. When he was done he shoved a small crystal in my mouth and pulled back my head, forcing me to swallow. A sudden torrent of energy both physical and magical shot through me and I willed myself to stand.

“Hmph, and thou said storing our energy inside these crystals at the start of the war was a bad idea.” My brother gloated with a smirk on his face. I shot him a glare before standing on my hind hooves. Luckily both my brother and I had learned the art of fighting on our back hooves. It’s not commonly done, as our bodies aren’t well built for it, but those who manage to master fighting like this for long periods of time gain major advantages in a fight. Aside from just freeing up two hooves, it also makes you a smaller target, shifts your center of gravity forcing your opponent to use completely different tactics against you, and grants a wider range of movements and motions with which to attack, defend, or dodge. It’s a bit of a big deal.

I myself am not much of a fan of the style, but now that I’m missing a whole hoof, I need all the advantages I can get.

“We can’t keep going on like this Sombra.” I muttered. Sombra’s attack had managed to blast Winter through the wall, exposing us to the chaos of the battle going on outside and sending Winter tumbling to the bottom of the tower. It wouldn’t kill him, but it would take time for him to dig his way out of the rubble and fly back up to us. It wasn’t much of a reprieve, but we would take what we were given.

“I… am aware.” He said, slightly out of breath. That spell must have taken more out of him than I thought. “We… need to end this… now.”

“Easier…” I let out a hiss of pain from my shoulder. “Said than done!”

***

As I gazed down into the darkness of the ravine I almost couldn’t believe it. I’d lost. I’d well and truly lost. After everything we’d been through together, all that we’d struggled to achieve, Sombra had betrayed me. Admittedly I couldn’t blame him as much as some probably thought I ought have. Our relationship had been deteriorating ever since we defeated Winter. After that victory the people had lauded me, placed me on a pedestal due to how instrumental I was in the victory. They slowly came to fear Sombra due to his negative attitude and his magical practices. Meanwhile I was seen as some lord of light and righteousness. I tried to get them to stop, I truly did, but they just wouldn’t listen. Between dealing with the aftermath of the war, running a kingdom, and helping Ambrosia through the trauma of yet another miscarriage I simply hadn’t had the time for him.

At least that’s what I told myself.

Oh Rade you’re such a fool. You should have MADE time. That’s what brothers DO.

But the past was the past and I had to focus on the present. And the present consisted of the sounds of battle cries, the explosions of blasting powder and incendiary spells. The garbled gurgling of soldiers choking on their own blood and the despairing wails of the innocent. The mechanical thud of crystal golems as they marched emotionlessly towards their enemies and the clanking of armor as the living dared to stand against them.

There was magic in the air, more magic than I’d felt since the Winter Rebellion. Magic which flowed off every citizen, every armor clad warrior and mechanized monstrosity. And as always that magic was like music to my ears. Each spell a song, each regiment a section in the orchestra. The thumping of hooves and the pounding of steel on shields made for the percussion, the drums and cymbals. The dying wails of mares and foals made for the twisted sound of woodwinds. The sliding of metal from its sheath like a bow pulled across the string of a cello or violin. The war horns sounded out the tones of brass instruments and battle cries made up the chorus. It was a symphony. A terrible symphony. One he’d hoped to never hear again.

The symphony of war.

I hadn’t managed to get into the city proper, but I had managed to cut a hole in Sombra’s defenses. One that allowed the innocent ponies that had been trapped by my brothers attempt at a coup a means of escape. They poured out of the city in droves, a flood of ponies stampeding out of the capital. Some of my troops fought desperately to maintain that meager advantage. If I looked hard enough I could occasionally catch a glimpse of Willow, barking orders and crushing skulls, whatever was necessary at the moment. I wanted to go down there. To protect her and all the other ponies fighting and running for their lives.

The bolt of magic I deflected disavowed me of that notion.

I was in a fight with Sombra now on the edge of the city. Despite his actions he wasn’t my real goal, at least not at the moment. No my goal was the strange device he had in the palace, the one I could see even from here and the ritual he was using to power it. I knew I didn’t have long before that thing did whatever it was trying to do. But Sombra stood in my way and refused to budge so much as an inch.

I saw the device flashing in the distance and my panic grew with Sombra’s twisted smile. With no time to waste I made one last desperate assault. I threw everything I had behind it, teleporting this way and that, throwing about spears and swords made of light. Blinding flashes and superheated lasers.

Nothing worked.

A beam of crimson light shot into the sky from the palace and a dome, a shield of some kind, began to make its way ever so slowly down. Ponies rushed like mad at the sight, desperate to escape whatever fate awaited those stuck on the wrong side of the dome. I tried to stop it, shot beams and wrote arrays in the air and ground in an attempt to at least slow it down but nothing worked. I cast a glance towards my brother, glared at the triumphant grin upon his face before turning away a dashing to where the fighting was the thickest hoping to save as many as I could with what little time still remained.

Five minutes later the dome came down. Willow and Ambrosia each stood at either side of me, both doing their utmost to breach the barrier just like myself and everypony else. I knew deep down, however, that it would do no good. And so I was forced to watch as the once translucent shield became more and more opaque, the light from within glowing brighter and brighter until finally I was forced to look away lest I go blind. When my head turned back I couldn’t believe what I saw.

Or rather what I didn’t see.

It was gone.

The whole city.

It was all gone not a trace of it to be found.

In the coming days I would ask myself a great many questions. Chief among them being ‘How did it all go wrong?’ I already knew the answer of course. Yet I couldn’t help but reminisce. To think about the great things we did, and how it all started with Winters defeat.

After years of fighting we’d finally won. And what a fantastic victory it had been. Everything had seemed so hopeless, so impossible. We had thought it was truly over. But in our darkest hour I’d had an epiphany one that started a chain reaction leading directly to our victory. One that had been the catalyst to a burst of unparalleled strength. One that had led to our ascension.

We had become Princes, my brother and I.

Perhaps though the greatest accomplishment of all was gain i̵n̸g̸ my s̴̡͓̆̓͛͆̕ ̵̙̘͊̓̏͆̔̍͂̂͆̎̈̃̚͝ ̶̝̼̗̣͍̘̐̍̓͒̍͋̎̈́̒ơ̷̮͂͛͑̅͒͝l̵̨̡͎̯̩̫̱̯͙̱͇̏̚͘͜͝͠͠. Learning that the t̶̛̲̖͉̝̻̰͋͑̌͂̿̾͝͠ ̴̛̝͚̃̾̋̈́̽́̐͝i̷̧̧͖͕͖͚̰̙̦̥̊̓ ̴̗͔̹̤̞́̉͗̐͗͝͝g̶̗̝͖͍̞̪͍̗̤̠͐ t̸̠͈̓́h̴̲̔̀a̷̦̕t̷̳̏̀ ̶̰́͊́ ̶̛̝̩̍̏̅̏ ̸̻̲̥͙͛͒̎͝p̷̼̦̥͊ ̷̨̮̩͙̝̻̾̇̏̔̒͜ ̶͉͕̠̟͖̈́̓̓̒̚ͅe̸̝̫̪̼̥̙͖̾ḑ̴̧̟̻͇̻͙̏̄̇̎̐̕͠ me, t̵h̷a̶t̷ p̶͎̃̀̑ü̴̘͊̇͘s̸̡̲̠̹̆͊̈́̚ḣ̸̺͍͈e̶͉̬͇̙̎̓d̷̜̀̓̋̽ ̶̟̺̟̪̬̄̽͂̍a̶̻͊̌̅̈̈́ṇ̷͎̻̕͜ͅd̵̮̲́̐̑̌ ̴͙̦̓͠d̶̬̖̠̟̖̅̎́́r̸̠̣̦͈̀̄͊̋̐ͅo̸͔̟͉̥͉͒͒̏̚v̵̻͔͎́̂̔͝ė̷̲̳͚̲̆̆͜ ̶͎̫͈̣͠ͅ me was none o̴̡̥͚̲̳͋t̸̛̘̰̽̕h̸̢̜̳̦͆̽è̶͚̀̾͆͜r̶̨͖̤̜̋t̸̞̲̬̙̘͓̀̌̊͜h̵̩͉̓̎̎ä̴̩̲̦͎̈̅̄̆̆̚n̸̤̒͌͗͊̽ ̶̝͉̟̳̩̮̈͐̔͗̍t̵̨͚͈̲͇̗̕ͅh̵̹̫͖̯̙̻̱̅́̑̚͘͝ę̸̰̞̠̦̇ͅm̸͍̽͆̀̓̍̔̓͑͆͗̌̇͝͝͝a̸̧̨̛̳͇͕͎̫̖̩̗͇͇̖͉̲̦͖̤̙̓̈́̅̃̕͠g̶̨͓̫̖͙͍͕͙͎̟̼̙̳̩̉̈́́̂̃̊̅̂̄̈́̄͂͑͌̆̕i̶͕̖͍̱̠͇̜̬̋͊̃̈́̃̿̂̍̓̔̈́́̂͑̇̄͠͠͝c̷͉̳̣̩͚̹͑́̓̉̌͝ ̵̡̜͖̗̪̬̤̯̳̱͈̥͎̼̝̖̍̓͂̊͑̔̋̉̐̍͋͒̒̚̚͘͜͠͝͝ȫ̶̢̨͍̗͍͙͔̘͙̬f̵̳͉͓̼̳̣̼͉̫̖͍̙͖̼͗̀͊͑̉͋̀̑͌̎̎͛̏͗̀̅͘͘̚ ̸̧̢̫̗̬͕̹̠̻̜̥̪͙̘̖͈͕̱̏̂̒̀͌̐̊͘͠h̴͚̘̟̞̣̩͙͍̠̠͉̭̜͓̿̎̋̆̇̊͛̕͜͜͝ ̸̡̨̘̤̱̬̲͎͕̲̩̋͋ ̵̧̧̨͍̱̟̖̟̣̜͙͓͔͎̪̥̮̜͔̈́̓́̓̃̄̈́̌́̄͒͘͝ ̴̛͖̩͚͈̹̟͌̈́͌͐́̋̿͊͑͛̿̒̑̏͊̄͑̂̏͑͠͠.̶̨̛͇̟̝̜̱͍̯͔͚͇̻̦̦̞͈͇̗͔͆̏̐͗́̓̂̇̈́͐̀́͆͊̽̉̚̚̕͝.

***

The crowd around Rade looked up at the screens depicting the memories of his life. Some cried in despair of his pain. Others glared hatefully at the actions against their ‘father’. And some merely gazed on in remembrance, their faces a mask of indifference. But all, big and small, marveled at him. Especially those who didn’t know him at this time as it was with the majority of them. What they witnessed was the changing of an age, the start of an era and they were well and truly enraptured.

And then the screens turned to static.

“Hey! What’s going on?” A voice called out from the crowd. The dissatisfied grumbles of countless thousands echoed out among the crowd. Pinkie’s eyes narrowed, quickly realizing this wasn’t part of the plan.

Somepony was interfering.

“Papa!” Bluebelle’s scream was the first of many. Pinkie’s eyes darted towards Rade a gasp leaving her mouth at the green flames suddenly licking his prone form. They were hypnotizing in their twisted beauty. Disgusting and repugnant, filled with a terrible despair that put her days on the rock farm to shame. She reached out a hoof to do… she didn’t know what. But something, anything was better than just standing around and watching him suffer in… whatever that was.

“Don’t bother miss Pie.” The sound of her name took her out of her trance and she glanced over her shoulder to see none other than princess Ebony walking toward her, her face set in a mask of stoic neutrality. “You can’t free him from those flames. Besides your job here is done. His majesty has regained the necessary memories to get himself out of this crisis. That Queen will be there soon to ensure his survival so we no longer have anything to worry about.”

Pinkie didn’t like the sound of that. “Are you sure there’s nothing we can do? Nothing at all?”

Ebony nodded her head, her face slowly becoming a very pronounced grimace. “Indeed. He’s in HER clutches now after all and she has more power than all of us combined.”

“Who?”

“Nirvana.”

***

I looked around in my dream, once more finding myself in that strange green stoned throne room, only this time it wasn’t crumbling. Instead the walls stood tall and strong. Now that I could actually look at it I could see that it wasn’t just huge… it was MASSIVE. I could easily fit three of Cadences throne rooms in here and still have room left over. It was circular, with giant crystal columns that sparkled with an array of colors as numerous jewels of varying shades and hues glowed from the magic inside of them, casting a slight kaleidoscope effect around the area stood at its outermost edges. The floor was separated into seven levels which were further cut up into small islands connected by stone bridges built over the streams of water that flowed through the room. They spanned out from the back center of the room where on the highest level was a great throne made of white crystal with cushions wove from spider silk. On each side of this magnificent throne were two massive alicorn statues embedded into the walls spewing water from their horns and down into the rivers below. Only a single emerald staircase forced its way through every level, slightly breaking the rooms theme.

On every level and every island were tables of different shapes and sizes, covered in all sorts of various food just waiting to be eaten. The food was piping hot fresh out of the oven and the drinks were so cold that every glass fogged over. Like before there was no natural light from a sun that didn’t exist here, instead there were glowing white orbs made of magic that drifted around the room like jellyfish in the air. While normally they’re slow and erratic movements would be frightening in a place like this, giving it a look of spirits drifting among the living, the light effects of the vibrantly colored columns surrounding the room mixed with the orbs perfectly, changing their color and even sometimes giving the illusion of changing their shape. When I let my imagination go a bit, there were occasions where I could make out images with the lights, much like I could when looking at clouds but far more… lucid.

“Kookaburra sits in the old gum tree.” A voice sang. It sounded like a young mares, not quite fully grown but not a filly either and seemed almost… haunting. I looked around, trying to find the source of the voice, my eyes growing wide as I looked back at the throne.

“Merry merry king of the bush is he.” There sat a pony I never wanted to see again. She was an alicorn, but it was obvious that she was a much higher caliber than any I’d seen. Her entire body shimmered in the same way as Luna’s or Celestia’s mane. Her onyx and violet ethereal form never sitting still as it swayed in a nonexistent breeze. It sparkled constantly, thousands of celestial bodies filling her form. She had on an ash colored raiment, much like the ones the princesses wear, with a large dull amethyst in its center. Her eyes were gentle and serene, her mouth turned in an almost motherly smile. There was no doubt about it. It was Nirvana.

“Laugh kukaburra.” In a flash of bright light, the world around me vanished only to be replaced by the same scene as before, minus the burning ponies. Nirvana had appeared directly in front of me. Her face half melted to reveal pulsing muscles and charred bone that she kept situated in that motherly smile of hers.

“Laugh kukaburra.” The scene changed again in a swirl of green flames. I was now standing atop a cliff looking out over the most gruesome scene I could ever imagine. I was in the badlands and below me was a field that stretched out to the horizon. A field littered with corpses. Pony, griffin, dragon, diamond dog, all the sapient races of Equus slaughtered on what I could only assume was a battlefield unlike any other. I felt a pair of hooves wrap around me from behind and fear shot through me like bolts of lightning. I turned my whole body around, ready to fight off my attacker, only to find nothing but air. My ears flicked as I heard a snap from behind me and I turned around once more… only to be met by Nirvana and her twisted features. Her soulless eyes with shrunk pupils sang of dementia and madness. Her motherly smile now twisted into an insane and terrifying grin. She stood up on her hind hooves and I watched as the field of the dead rose quickly with her, all of them turning their eyes towards me as they sang the final line of her song.

“Grand your life must be!”

***

I inhaled sharply as I returned to consciousness. Another dream. Though I now realize that they’re actually memories instead of dreams. I just… I can’t believe it… I’m over a thousand years old. Or at least I was around a thousand years ago. Sombra was my brother. He was a little crude, but he was still a good stallion at least up to that point. I wonder… just what happened to him? Luna and Celestia… they lived with me? If that’s so shouldn’t they have recognized me in the papers? You’d think they’d remember an old friend from their childhood. Yeah… an old friend. That’s all they ever saw me as right? Well that and a mentor. Right… they considered Platinum and Clover their parents. Sombra, Ambrosia and I were just the ponies they roomed with.

Ambrosia. Having my memories of her back… it hurts. We’d been together since literally the beginning. Hell my earliest memory is waking up with her at my side. If that doesn’t drive the point home I don’t know what does.

And now… now she’s gone. There’s no way she could be here. A thousand years? In the future? By now there wouldn’t even be dust yet. And I’m practically the same age now as I was in the memories I just received. Whatever happened to me that sent me here couldn’t have been long after defeating Winter.

But… no. No I can’t give up hope. Sombra’s here, as am I, Luna, and Celestia. If we made it… maybe… just maybe… she made it too. Yeah. I’m going to keep hanging onto that hope. First I’ll save the Crystal empire, and then… then I’ll search for Ambrosia. I WILL find her… I have to. Wherever you are I’ll find you.

Ah… but to say that… don’t I have to survive this ordeal first? Right. To search for a pony, you have to be alive to do the searching. What if I don’t make it though? I’m no fool, the wounds Sombra gave me will kill me rather slowly, but are still too severe and can’t be fixed easily, even with a full staff and high grade medical equipment. Ruptured organs aren’t the same as broken bones or torn skin. They’re complex systems that don’t just heal overnight, even with potions and magic.

“Don’t die please…” I heard a voice call. I opened my eyes slowly and looked around as best I could. I was in the old crystal caverns, the ones below the empire that I used so long ago to infiltrate the city. It looked both very different and incredibly familiar. It brought a smile to my face to be able to feel nostalgic about something and actually understand WHY for once.

“Uh… how do I do this? Damnit! I’m the best doctor in the empire and I can’t remember a little first aid in an actual crisis?! I should be ashamed of myself. I know you will be if I don’t fix you up. Alright alright uh… just… just apply pressure here… NO here! There we go! Stop bleeding oh please by the goddess stop bleeding!” The voice called again. I looked down and was met to a gruesome sight.

My abdomen was cut clean open, blood pouring from my wound at a rate that was painful just to watch. Willow’s normally white hooves were slathered in my blood as she worked furiously to keep me alive. As for any actual pain, well to be honest I couldn’t feel a thing. No… that’s not right. To be more accurate the pain was there I just… didn’t care.

In this moment I want to say I felt something akin to… enlightened. Maybe that’s not accurate… acceptant perhaps? Yes I think that’s a bit closer. I was dying and there was no way for me to stop that. Soon I would be with Platinum and Clover and maybe even Ambrosia. That I couldn’t change. And she needed to know that too. I lifted a hoof and gently placed it on Willows shoulder, eliciting a gasp from her as she turned her head to look at me.

“Willow… stop…” It took a moment for her to get over the shock of me being awake before my words sank in, to which of course she made her protests fairly obvious as she got back to working on me.

“NO! I… I just remembered you! I remembered you and everything you did for us. I remembered you saving me as a filly, saving the empire! You took care of me during the war! Reunited me with my friends and family! Gave us hope! Gave us a life! But they’re… they’re all gone now! You… you’re… you’re the only friend I have left! You’re all I have! Your brother he… he killed the rest! All of them! I-!”

I put my hoof around Willows shoulders and with all the strength I could muster pulled her down to me, gritting my teeth through the pain all the way. She was crouched beside me now, my hoof gently stroking her mane as she cried. “I know Willow. I remember too. It… must have been a spell of some kind. Something to make the world forget me… for whatever reason. It doesn’t seem to be fully lifted either. I can tell, there’s still more missing. My memory stops right after beating my brother. Well… if you call forcing him to seal away an entire empire a defeat. Strange though, as I recall you were with me when the city was sealed. So how come you were in the seal? And how are you all grown up?”

“I… I don’t remember Ra… uh… your majesty.” I couldn’t help but let out a little chuckle. A hacking blood filled chuckle, but a chuckle.

“Don’t… don’t start that crap now Willow. I’m dying. Call me by my damn name.”

“No… you… you can’t be dying… I won’t… I won’t let you…” So she claimed, but she had long since given up on trying to revive me. Choosing instead to lay next to me, her tears pouring into my fur.

“Willow… I’m dying… and that’s okay. Nothing lasts forever Willow. We all have our time. You. Me. This whole wide world. Everything has to come to an end eventually. And that’s fine. What matters isn’t how long we live, but what we do with that life. And even without the rest of my memories, I can tell that I’ve done more than enough.”

“But…” She sniffed, pressing my head into my chest. “You’re supposed to show us the way. You’re supposed to give us hope. Who are we going to turn to if you die?”

“But I AM giving you hope Willow, just as I always do.” I started fiddling with the pouch around my neck, struggling as I tried to open it. Unfortunately it seemed that my motor skills were dying fast, and I lacked the coordination to get the job done.

“Willow…” I wheezed. “Listen to me. You see the pouch around my neck. I know you know what’s inside. I need you to pull it out. It’s our last weapon. I need you to find Twilight, Cadence and Sunburst… oh and Smart Cookie too. I have a feeling there’s more to her than she realizes. Anyhow I need you to free them and get together to form some kind of plan. Winter may be free now, maybe even fully regenerated, but having a healed body won’t make him any less exhausted so if you hit him and Sombra with this at the same time you should be alright. Be careful, you only get one shot understand?”

“No I… I can’t do this. You saw me earlier Sombra wiped the floor with me. I can’t stand up to a standard Prince, much less a KING! There’s… there’s no way we can do this! Not without YOU!”

“You CAN do it Willow! I KNOW you can! You’ve done things way harder than angering a couple of royals and throwing something at them. You should be fine. I have the utmost faith in you.”

“NO!” She screamed and shot back up. In a flash she was back to work, doing her best to treat my wounds. “I’ll save you! I have to save you! I’ll do anything! Just… just please don’t die!” I couldn’t help but sigh as I laid my head against the ground and shut my eyes waiting for the inevitable.

“That determination… it’s something I love about you Willow.”

“I… *sniff* I got it from you, ya know?”

“Did you now? Well that’s good.” I paused, taking a few shaky breaths. “You’ve grown to be a wonderful mare Willow.” I coughed, blood dribbling out of my mouth. “I’m proud of you.”

“And you can keep on being proud of me once we both get out of here ALIVE!”

“You can’t save me Willow. Nopony can.” Willow was about to retort, when another voice suddenly joined us.

“Oh really? Well then, what if they’re not a pony?" Came a voice from the darkness. Willow quickly spun around ready to defend me to the death if need be. Both our eyes widened however at the... creature that crept out of the darkness. Slit eyes and tattered hair. Black chitin skin filled with holes. And a voice that just oozed seduction.

"Queen Chrysalis." I said. "To what do we owe the pleasure?"

Author's Notes:

This story isn't dead. It is however, on life support.

Look I'll be real with you all. My life hasn't improved AT ALL since the last chapter I posted. In fact it's only gotten worse. Far worse. But this story has always had a special place in my heart and I'm not ready to give up on it just yet. Recently though things have been getting... not better per se but it's manageable now. I shouldn't have any more bombs or surprises dropping on me and messing everything up. To continue with the life support analogy, I'm out of the ICU and in stable condition. I still look like a slab of beef put through the grinder, but I'm out of danger now. Life goes on, it finds a way. And things can improve, if only a little.

SPECIAL THANKS TO Thunder Volt whose comment and favorite gave me the kick in the pants I needed to finish off the last 3,000 or so words of this chapter and get this thing out for all of you to see.

King Of Queens

by ChroniclerOfFantasies

Candybutt

Sombra's Revenge... Sort Of

Pranks and Hi-Jinks

Shattered

Return of Light

Deleted Scene: Willow

Calm Before the Storm

Peasants, Royals, and Kings

Futile Efforts

Deleted Scene: Discord

A Grave Escape

Symphony of War