Zephyr for once has a good point, but I'm sure that was not the intended idea. I personally think the mare that came around was the sort of hivemind leader of the Afflicted. 447337 Are you joking? There was literally a whole chapter dedicated to the fact Twilight was different in such regards in being a carrier.
447337 Twilight is a carrier of the disease, not an infected. A carrier is one who may spread disease while themselves never suffering the disease's symptoms
447337 If I was the author, I would wait to tell you the answer until you at least write "u", "thx", and "tho". I'm not a Nazi about this, but I do want to be able to comprehend your writing without having to be fluent in Idiot.
Great story, just one thing. I wish you had kept with the whole lonely stay in the dark thing for a while longer, that way you could elevate on the relationship between twilight and the foul that she saved (And it was my favorite part.)
This story has been quite a good read, but I feel it lacked. What you ask? The part about being alone, trying to stay sane, and that part after Twilight rescued the filly (can't remember her name) should've been longer. Also, the fear factor in the ponies should have been more obvious. I also find the second to last chapter to be a little of a "mood-killer", rendering the evil, dark and gored parts less "effective", at least I feel so. I will continue to read this story, or rather the next part, hoping the mood won't be changed too much.
Now, a real MLP fanfic only needs to have the characters of the actual series accurate and some lines has to be drawn, but in a story like this (horror and the likes) those lines ought to be removed for the gore and darkness to really infest upon the readers.
great read but as others have said you should have kept the whole theme of stay in the darkness longer. the climax of the story felt kinda generic as the action scenes. still a great story but wish it had taken a different turn and focused more on survival and the interest concept of darkness is safety. as for the ending my guess is that the mare is letting twilight live because like in left 4 dead and 28 weeks later, the carriers actually help spread the disease.
so wait twlights infected i get that but shes immune tho? and whos the other mare then? i reckon its trxie or derpy tbh
447337
I think it was Celestia who did this.
Think about it:
With her powers she can make a vision of her lose, and also can create a clone or something.
Then she just simply do what was in the chapter.
Mission accomplished.
Zephyr for once has a good point, but I'm sure that was not the intended idea. I personally think the mare that came around was the sort of hivemind leader of the Afflicted.
447337 Are you joking? There was literally a whole chapter dedicated to the fact Twilight was different in such regards in being a carrier.
447337 Twilight is a carrier of the disease, not an infected. A carrier is one who may spread disease while themselves never suffering the disease's symptoms
and now you feel how Thomas and the 8 that were left feel. if you now who either of these are, 1000 internets for you.
447337 If I was the author, I would wait to tell you the answer until you at least write "u", "thx", and "tho". I'm not a Nazi about this, but I do want to be able to comprehend your writing without having to be fluent in Idiot.
Why would you tag the story with 'sex' when the actual intercourse is only MENTIONED, not described in detail ?!
Ehh, people these days...
Mummy? Are you my Mummy?
Where's my Mummy?
Wait, what? o.O
Great story, just one thing. I wish you had kept with the whole lonely stay in the dark thing for a while longer, that way you could elevate on the relationship between twilight and the foul that she saved (And it was my favorite part.)
This story has been quite a good read, but I feel it lacked. What you ask? The part about being alone, trying to stay sane, and that part after Twilight rescued the filly (can't remember her name) should've been longer. Also, the fear factor in the ponies should have been more obvious. I also find the second to last chapter to be a little of a "mood-killer", rendering the evil, dark and gored parts less "effective", at least I feel so. I will continue to read this story, or rather the next part, hoping the mood won't be changed too much.
Now, a real MLP fanfic only needs to have the characters of the actual series accurate and some lines has to be drawn, but in a story like this (horror and the likes) those lines ought to be removed for the gore and darkness to really infest upon the readers.
I'll rate this a four out of five:
/
*Stares at screen for a moment*
...
*shivers*
I'll be in by bed not getting any sleep if you need me. Just... Thinking...
ALL HAIL PRINCESS LUNA! HAIL THE NEW LUNAR REPUBLIC!
.....wow
TWILIGHT'S MOM IS THE BIG BAD OMG THAT'S SO CRAZY WHOA
... Heh heh. Mac got laid.
great read but as others have said you should have kept the whole theme of stay in the darkness longer. the climax of the story felt kinda generic as the action scenes. still a great story but wish it had taken a different turn and focused more on survival and the interest concept of darkness is safety. as for the ending my guess is that the mare is letting twilight live because like in left 4 dead and 28 weeks later, the carriers actually help spread the disease.
pretty sure catie is the mare at the end people, thought it was obvious
Good sir I applaud you and this fic. Jolly good show.
[youtube=https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=IxAKFlpdcfc]
The plot started as a good one, but having Celestia go completely against her known personality traits keeps me from upvoting.
This was rather fun to read.