Night time and monsters
As the square sun set, the two ponies collapsed next to the chest and opened up their inventory. "'I've got 32 logs 12 saplings and... An apple!" The Doctor quickly selected the red fruit and brought it to his hotbar causing it to appear in his hoof. It quickly dissapeared as he greedily scarfed it down. His hunger bar went from one icon to three. "I have 42 logs 14 saplings and 2 apples." Derpy took one of her two apples and dug in bringing her hunger up to two and a half.
The Doctor sat up and looked the chest over. He took the remaining item from it, a pickaxe. "dDerpy would you break the chest." Derpy looked confused for a moment before realizing what he meant and struck at it with a fore hoof until it broke and joined the wood in her inventory.
"Good now we are free to explore!" As the Doctor spoke however they both heard a groan. "Oh come on, exploring is fun!" The Doctor said, his usual grin shining.
"I didn't make that sound" The duo turned their heads towards the noise. A blocky green skinned man was shambling towards them, and from the stench that it was emitting and the state of it's eye sockets it didn't look to friendly. "L-let me be the one to say it this t-time." Derpy stuttered starting to back away "RUN!"
The two ponies turned tail and ran, dodging trees and passing other things in the dark. Derpy thought she saw a ginormous spider but dismissed it as a trick of the shadows. As they ran several arrows shot by and Derpy felt an impact but just kept running, they soon emerged from the trees and found themselves dashing across the fields that Derpy had spotted earlier.
"Doctor we can't keep this up!" Derpy cried glancing at her hunger bar which was nearing empty. The two ponies looked around for shelter but found none. Suddenly the Doctor stopped running and began to dig at the ground, Derpy screeched to a halt with the aid of her wings and turned back to her friend. She could see the green skinned men and several other figures exiting the trees, Derpy was about to yell for the doctor to keep going when she noticed what he was doing. She quickly caught on and joined him in digging a pit. When the had a hole 1x2x3 blocks large they jumped in and the doctor closed them in with dirt. They panted for several moments before they expanded the walls of their shelter a bit allowing them to lay down.
"Doctor, do you think we will be okay." Derpy asked wrapping her wings around her like a blanket.
The Doctor lay down opposite to her and gave her that smile that made her feel like everything was just one massive game. "I promise you, we will both be brilliant."
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i like
Good concept
But please get an editor
The important thing here is, you got the idea out of your head and made it real.
The mistakes are trivial compared to that. How many of us have ideas but then do nothing to make them happen? They sit there, tumbling around in our brains, taking up space, and they never see the light of day.
The hardest part is that first step, getting them out into text. The little details like grammar and spelling can take care of themselves later. I do not deny that they are important, but making an idea a solid is a far more complicated task. Focus on that for now.
I'll follow this for now. It seems interesting. However, no vote yet; I'm still undecided.
But really, please find an editor at some point. Your grammar is worse than you think it is.
4161178
That is hard to believe seeing how I think it is pretty crappy. As said in the description this story is not going to be high quality, it is more of a rant of ideas that I had to get out of my head. At some point I will probably get a editor but probably not until I finish it.
I really didn't notice any grammar or punctuation, then again, I'm horrible with that stuff soo.....
Anyway, I like this story so far!