Summary:
Pinkie Pie jumps out of a window
*
Defenestrate.
It’s such a funny word, like picklebarrel and kumquat. It sounds like deafen and straight put together, but it doesn’t have anything to do with not hearing stuff or not being bent.
I touch my bedroom window, not quite pushing it open.
Windows are funny things, too, especially the ones made of clear glass. You can see through them, so you think there’s nothing separating you from the other side. That is, until you walk into it and then shatter the glass.
I look down at my hoof now covered in blood and bits of my window. Each glass shard reflects an image of my smiling face.
They say the grass greener on the other side, but beyond my broken window, all I see is Ponyville and a small piece of heaven.
I’ve always wanted to fly. Well I’ve flown before using balloons and the candy-copter I made for my undergrad thesis, but that’s different. I want to know how it feels to leap into the air and soar using just my body. No balloons. No silly contraptions.
I want to know how it feels to have nothing holding me down, not even gravity.
Even for just one brief moment...
I look out of my window again. The blue sky taunts me with its blueness.
Defenestrate means to throw something out of a window. But if the thing you throw out is yourself, does it still count?
Let’s find out.
Saint Vitus - Clear Windowpane
Once again, no grammar issues. Nice job.
As for the story, I'm mixed on this. We'll start with the plot. It's fairly simple, at least I think it is. Pinkie Pie has cracked, and jumps out of a window, presumably to kill herself. The problem here is why? Why does she jump out of the window? Why does she break the glass with her hoof? Why has she gone insane? It's not explained, and while I think you may have been aiming to let the reader fill the holes, it doesn't really work in a story like this.
As for the writing, it's actually superb. Pinkie Pie's characterisation is spot on, in some dark, twisted way. Of course she'd be random, right to the end. The perspective, being first-person, works better here than the second-person of the first one. I was extremely unsettled by Pinkie's thought processes, and actually got chills. For a piece that's about 300 words or so long, that's an impressive feat. Well done.