A collection of short fics and other writing tidbits by yours truly.
May contain anything, from "character and idea exploration" to "pony haiku" to "horrendous attempts to write horrendous clop (which currently don’t exist yet)."
Appropriate tags will be added and/or set as more stories come.
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Empty Space [dark] To Fluttershy, it always came back in that black room.
Freedom [dark][random] Pinkie Pie jumps out of a window.
5-7-5 [poetry] a collection of haiku about the Elements of Harmony
From The Top [slice of life] Twilight Sparkle watches the sunset.
Empty Space: Rewrite [dark] a first-person version of Empty Space.
Chapters (5)
That was better than a lot of stories. I mean, that actually enthralled me. Usually I can't stand to read the shit that occupies the norm of fimfiction, but for once I actually enjoyed a story from here. And yes, it does fall under repression, she hid those emotions and feelings from herself for so long and now she has been face to face with those lost emotions. This is a perfect example of Repression and I believe this has the chance to win the competition considering how well it was written. We shall see what happens since I haven't read the other stories yet.
In other words, well done.
4195273 Wow. I just... Wow. Thank you so very much for that comment. I never expected... Thank you, I'm glad you liked it.
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You should expand on this, I assure you it would be feature box gold.
Maybe turn the fluttershy story into its own and expand upon it?
4195523 I'll think about it.
Thank you.
Saw this on the Struggling Authors Forum. The stories weren't up my alley genre wise, but the way they were told was excellent, especially Pinkie's. I'd say the point of view used for Fluttershy's detracted from the story a little. Probably would have been better first person. Good job none the less
4289431 Thank you very much!
And I will think about the issue of POV in Fluttershy's piece. I might indeed switch to first person if it seems to work better.
Jerry Cantrell - Psychotic Break
Saint Vitus - Clear Windowpane
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Wow. Thank you so much for these! They're really appropriate for each piece.
Yay for new awesome writing music!
Those haikus were good. I always like haikus.
You have a good grasp on grammar, so good job. I didn't notice any errors when I read it.
As for the concept of this short itself, I have to say it's interesting. I don't think I've ever read a story that takes this approach to Fluttershy and New Fluttershy. It isn't, however, completely original, as this type of thing is common with Pinkie and Pinkamena.
As for the writing itself, it's good. Like I said before, you have a good grasp on grammar. The writing is quite good and Fluttershy is in character. However, the second-person perspective doesn't really do it any favours, especially when this one line seems to switch to third-person.
You'd probably have been better off if this was written in the first-person perspective. That's much better for examining a character's psychological state, as you see into their mind. With second-person, the reader is supposed to feel like the character, therefore their thoughts are their own.
On to the next short.
Once again, no grammar issues. Nice job.
As for the story, I'm mixed on this. We'll start with the plot. It's fairly simple, at least I think it is. Pinkie Pie has cracked, and jumps out of a window, presumably to kill herself. The problem here is why? Why does she jump out of the window? Why does she break the glass with her hoof? Why has she gone insane? It's not explained, and while I think you may have been aiming to let the reader fill the holes, it doesn't really work in a story like this.
As for the writing, it's actually superb. Pinkie Pie's characterisation is spot on, in some dark, twisted way. Of course she'd be random, right to the end. The perspective, being first-person, works better here than the second-person of the first one. I was extremely unsettled by Pinkie's thought processes, and actually got chills. For a piece that's about 300 words or so long, that's an impressive feat. Well done.
Not going to review this, unfortunately. Poetry was never my strong suit. I will, however say, that besides maybe the last one, all the haikus were good, and fit with the characters they were describing. I particularly like Fluttershy's one.
You're very good at grammar, you know that?
Now, overall, this was kind of 'meh' for me. We'll start with the plot. And herein lies the biggest problem. It's bland and unoriginal. It's not bad, per se, but it has been done to death, and is so predictable that right from the first line I knew where it was going. 'Twilight is immortal and will outlive her friends' fics are too numerous to count, and frankly I'm sick of seeing them.
As for the writing, the first-person perspective actually crippled this short. Twilight's thought aren't very well presented. It'd be better off in third-person. Unlike 'Freedom' where I knew exactly what Pinkie was thinking, and where the thought processes got off track and therefore felt realistic, like they do in real life, this story is more like Twilight just exclaiming various things. Half the lines about her friends have no reason to be there, and neither does Spike's appearance, especially when Twilight calls him 'that big old thing'. It almost seems like she's grown to dislike him, or doesn't recognise him.
Not the best of these shorts, to be honest. Out of all of them, I think 'Freedom' was the best.
I'll review any future ones you write, if you'd like me to.
Awww...
This one was too bittersweet. 
I, personally, suck at poetry, and I don't read it too often, but this was very nice.
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Many thanks for the helpful comments. I greatly appreciate them.
So, I, um, sorta rewrote the Fluttershy piece into first-person. If it's all right, would you kindly tell me what do you think of this version?
Also, I revised this line in the original:
into
since I never intended it to read as a switch into 3rd-person, but I guess it came across that way.
*
I'm currently toying with the idea of exploring Fluttershy's foalhood, which in turn means exploring her many anxieties. I hope to answer questions like: Why is she terrified of so many things, and yet she can be strong and brave when she needs to? How did she become a doormat? Etc.
It will probably be a long time before I start working on it though.
Yes, exactly. This piece was more of me trying my hoof at a Pinkie Pie stream-of-consciousness POV than me telling a story. It may or may not be a part of a longer, actual proper story later on...
Her bedroom window, actually. Which is either on the second floor or attic area (?) of Sugarcube Corner.
Wow. I... Just wow. Thank you so much for telling me this. I never imagined I could write something that could have that kind of effect in my readers.
Thank you kindly for your comments, The_Weatherbug, JumpingShinyFrogs.
They make me think a lot about writing, and that always makes me happy.
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Thank ya kindly. I'm glad you enjoyed them. And to be honest, darling, I suck at poetry too. I can only do haiku because I'm good at counting syllables.
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OMG I love that song so much!! And thanks to that, I can cross off one of the goals in my list. Specifically:
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I agree with most of the points you brought up. Going in, I knew how unoriginal it would be, and I do admit this piece is not so good.
My heart swells whenever I read this and all the other times you said I'm good at grammar.
No, I didn't know and it makes me so happy now that I do. Thank you so much.
Still with the impeccable grammar.
This time around, the story is much better. My previous points about the story still stand, but the writing is a lot better this time around. The first-person allows me to get into Fluttershy's mind and study her thought processes, which is clearly what this fic is meant to do.
As fr that line, it flows a lot better now. Good rewrite.