Chapter I - The Beginning of a Horrifying Weekend
It started when Twilight Sparkle left for a royal convention in Canterlot.
It also started when Twilight called upon Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo to meet with her regarding their next “Twilight Times.”
Everypony helped gather her stuff to the chariot waiting outside of her tree library-slash-home of the Golden Oaks Library. Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow Dash and Spike all helped to load her suitcases into the chariot. Fluttershy was tasked to watch Owlowiscious while Pinkie Pie made her solemn Pinkie Promise to throw her a spectacular “Welcome-Back-from-a-Weekend-Long-Trip” party. As Twilight placed the last of the handbags in her seat, she turned to her three pupils, the Cutie Mark Crusaders with an expectant gleam in her eyes.
“Now as you three may know, I’ll be out of town for three whole days. Obviously, we won’t be hanging out during those three days, so I’m going to give you all each an assignment to show me what you’ve all learned from our sessions.” The three fillies all groaned in unison to the sound of having to do homework all weekend long. Twilight stifled a giggle as she brought Apple Bloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle in for a hug.
“Don’t worry, silly fillies, these assignments won’t hurt you all. In fact, this will be the perfect opportunity to for you all to show me how far you’ve progressed in your lessons. You all want to earn your Cutie Marks in doing this sort of stuff, don’t you?”
The Cutie Mark Crusaders all looked at each other. They couldn’t argue with Twilight’s logic. After all, the only reason they set up time to be tutored by Twilight was for her to help them earn their Cutie Marks with assembly, potion-making and magic. With a heavy sigh, the fillies looked up to the lavender alicorn with a forced smile on each of their faces.
Twilight smiled at them smugly, then gave an assignment sheet to Apple Bloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle. “Okay, here are the assignments I want you each to work on during the weekend. Scootaloo, you’ve proven yourself you can put together a unicycle. Now I want you to disassemble and reassemble a simple bicycle. Do you think you’re up to the challenge?”
“Are you kidding!?” Scootaloo piped, her face written with determination. “It’ll be a piece of cake!”
Suddenly, Pinkie Pie shot her head up from the bottom of the screen, eyes widened and mouth drooling. “OOH! Did somepony say cake!?” she asked with a shrill voice.
“It’s a figure of speech, Pinkie Pie. Why don’t you prepare for my party while I talk to the girls here?” Pinkie Pie’s face turned to sadness and her ears drooped. The party pony trotted away slowly while Twilight continued to assign her pupils. “You’re next, Apple Bloom. I want you to make a potion that can make a single duplicate of an ordinary apple. Not two, but three, but one duplicate. You got that?”
“Yes, ma’am! You’ve got it, ma’am!”
“And finally, Sweetie Belle...” Twilight turned to the unicorn filly, whose smile squeed with her big glimmering eyes. “It seems you’ve been improving on how to levitate objects. Now I think it’s time that you took your magic to the next level. I’d like you to practice the use of a teleportation spell.” The alicorn grew a smug smile as she lowered her face into Sweetie Belle’s, a face written for a challenge.
"Do you think you can handle it?” she asked.
“I don’t think so, Twilight,” the unicorn filly replied. “I know so! Getting an object from one place to another is gonna be a snap!”
Twilight giggled lightly to the unicorn’s show of enthusiasm. “If you say so, Sweetie Belle. I already can’t wait for you three to show me how much you’ve progressed without my guidance.” Twilight climbed inside the seat of the chariot with Spike following suit. "I'll see you all on Monday!" The wheels of the chariot turned and soon, the vehicle was lifted into the sky by armor clad pegasus stallions. Everypony waved their goodbyes (while Pinkie Pie yelled not to forget her) as the chariot became a dot in the distance. Everypony, except for the CMCs, all went on their separate ways to commence with their daily routines. The three fillies gathered around in a huddle while they discussed their plans for the weekend.
“How cool is this!?” Scootaloo started. “We get to spend all weekend trying to earn our Cutie Marks doing whatever we learned with Twilight so far!”
“Yeah! Ah’m pretty excited mahself!” Apple Bloom concurred with a nod. “If Ah can get an apple ta be made into a duplicate, then not only will Ah might get mah Cutie Mark, but Ah might save the farm from any low quantity of apples we have in the orchards!”
“I know! I can’t believe that Twilight is having me learn how to teleport like her!” Sweetie Belle chirped, her horn glowing green from her growing exhilaration. “Pretty soon, I might grow up to be a powerful unicorn just like Twilight! I... I... I’m so excited, I’m gonna explode!”
Scootaloo laid a hoof on the unicorn’s shoulder. At once, the filly suddenly ceased her stimulation as her sparkling horn was doused. “Don’t get too excited, Sweetie Belle. We have the whole weekend to show Twilight what we’ve got.” The the orange filly slammed her hooves together with a determined smile of her own. “Plus, it’ll be so awesome if I earn my Cutie Mark in making totally super-awesome trick wheels!”
“Eeyup!”
“Totally!”
“Then it’s settled, Cutie Mark Crusaders! Let’s all show Twilight what we can do and get our Cutie Marks!” With that said, Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom raised their hooves up in the sky, cheering out a hearty “YAAAAY!” in unison. Soon, the fillies went back to their homes, ready and willing to earn their Cutie Marks. Scootaloo would earn her Cutie Mark in building and disassembling unicycles, bicycles and scooters. Apple Bloom would earn hers in making potions and solving the problems of low food quantity. As for Sweetie Belle... well, let’s just say she wouldn’t get her Cutie Mark in death-defying thrills and perilous adventures like Daring Do did in her novels.
====
“‘To master the ability of teleportation, light your horn up and aim your magic at the desirable object. Then imagine the object is in another place and soon that object will appear in the place imagined.’” With a “hmm,” Sweetie Belle set aside the assignment sheet and the instructions onto her nightstand in her room. Sitting alone on the floor was a simple, plain spool of thread, the object that Sweetie Belle chose to be the subject of her magic practice.
“I guess if the instructions make it sound easy enough, then trying to teleport a single spool will be an easy enough task.” Sweetie Belle lit her horn up and focused her gaze on the spool. She imagined the sewing tool to be on the nightstand next to the paper, a simple enough task. But next came the hard part: using that magic. Sweetie Belle grunted as she covered the spool in her aura, slowly exhausting her strength and her horn. She lifted the spool up an foot off of the floor, then concentrated heavily on making vanish onto the nightstand.
The spool began to become a shaped of white light. Ignoring the beads of sweat trickling down her face, Sweetie Belle felt her first teleportation spell nearing success. The spool began to vanish when...
SLAM!
“Sweetie Belle! I’m home!”
Rarity’s barging in and her singsong voice caused Sweetie Belle to yelp. With it, a beam of pale green shot onto the ceiling, the spool failing to vanish and fall on the floor. The beam ricocheted and bounced off of the clean, yet reflective surfaces of the walls. Sweetie Belle managed to dodge the beam a few times with quick hoof-biting moves. But the beam bounced off of the vanity mirror...
...and hit Sweetie Belle square in the chest.
The unicorn filly screamed a blood-curdling scream as she was forced in the air by her own magic. Her body became a shapely silhouette of light as Rarity looked on in shock and horror at her sister’s situation. The bright light flashed, and with it, the screams vanished into oblivion. THe only thing the light left was a burnt mark on the floor where her sister stood for the last time.
“SWEETIE BELLE!!”
Rarity looked frantically around the room. She looked in her bed, on top of the canopy, under the sheets, under the bed itself. She checked the closet and rummaged through the clothes she made for Sweetie Belle. She even tore through the drawers at her sister’s bureau. Unfortunately, Sweetie Belle was nowhere to be found.
“Oh, Sweetie Belle! What have I done to you!?” Rarity screamed, flopping on the floor, sobbing into her own hooves. “My one and only sister is gone! If I hadn’t barged in on her practicing like this, then all of this wouldn’t have happened! Oh, Sweetie Belle, this is all of my fault! Wo-hoe-hoe is me-hee-hee-hee!”
The alabaster unicorn sobbed into the floor, mourning the passing of her little sister. But then a thought crossed her like a little jolt. “Wait, maybe Sweetie Belle isn’t dead. If I recall correctly, she was practicing a teleportation spell with a spool of thread. That means she couldn’t have gone far! That must mean that she’s still alive!” Rarity turned tail and galloped out of the door, looking both ways down the hall for any trace of Sweetie Belle. There was still none to be found, but that didn’t stop her from looking. “Don’t worry, Sweetie Belle! I’ll find you and bring you home safely! I promise!”
With that, Rarity galloped out of the room and scoured around the house.
====
Sweetie Belle felt herself floating down in a sea of never ending darkness. So this is what the next life felt like. Hovering in the eternal void, with time irrelevant in and on itself. Sweetie was colored both sad and disappointed. There was so much to do in her life, and it was all rudely cut off by a magical spell. She wanted to earn her Cutie Mark with her friends. She wanted appreciation from her older sister for helping her with her line of work. She even wanted to go out with Button Mash just one more time.
But all of her plans fell through, like walking on thin ice. Now she was adrift, lost in the darkness that reached out to infinity and the great beyond. She never got to say goodbye to all of her friends and family. Not to Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, Twist, Button Mash, Pipsqueak. Not to Rarity, her parents and her sister’s friends. It would be a dull grey day for all of Ponyville. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon wouldn’t mind having her gone. After all, that’s what they all wanted: one less blank flank in the world while the other blank flanks were vulnerable to their jeers and snide remarks.
She would never stand up to those snobs ever again.
Now Sweetie Belle laid in the darkness, the feeling like lying on the surface of a cold, hard rock, floating in the middle of an ocean. But then again, nopony would feel anything if their time was over, right? Then that meant Sweetie Belle was alive. Then that meant her teleportation spell worked! A success! She managed to teleport herself
With that, Sweetie Belle laid up on her haunches, rubbing the near tip of her aching horn. She groaned as she tried to soothe the pain in her horn, despite the gingerly massage she gave to her horn. “Ooooh... Where am I?”
Sweetie Belle slowly opened her eyes. Her vision came out as blurry as a photograph before the picture took time to develop into a clear view. Sweetie Belle blinked her eyes three times, then gazed at. She saw herself on flat pieces of ice, bobbing along the surface of a small but deep lake of water. Something was wrong... terribly, terribly wrong. Sweetie Belle didn’t quite recognize her surroundings. The ice glaciers looked almost like they were perfectly cubed. Yet, somehow, they bumped along an invisible wall including the ice Sweetie Belle unintentionally found herself teleported on.
With curiosity getting the best of her Sweetie Belle slid across the ice, like she was hoof-skating on the traction-less surface to the invisible wall. It felt smooth and expertly polished. With a suspicious “hmmm” and her raised hoof, the unicorn tapped the wall repeatedly. The sound almost sounded like a little ring, kind of like the wall was made out of...
Sweetie Belle gasped as she realized what the material of the “wall” was made of.
“Glass,” she whimpered to herself. “The wall is made out of glass. But then that means...” Sweetie Belle shot a look through the outside of her transparent prison. She saw a lamp that looked to be around the size of Ponyville Town Hall. A giant novel titled “Fifty Shades of Hay” laid next to the lamp, the cover art blocked of by what looked like a yellow blindfold, bordered with pink frillies and decorated with two pink bows.
That’s when everything clicked.
“I’m in Rarity’s room,” Sweetie Belle muttered, horrified by the unexpected turn of events. “I’m in her room... and I’m in her glass of water she keeps at her nightstand... and that means that I’ve somehow shrunk... inside of her glass of water.”
Sweetie’s left eye twitched, both emerald eyes reduced to the size of pinpricks. Everything was silent at first, save for the gigantic ice cubes bumping into each other. Then Sweetie Belle let out an ear-piercing scream, a scream that would’ve easily shattered the glass if she was in normal size. All it ever did now was made the glass hum.
“I’ve gotta get out!! I’ve gotta get out of here!!” Sweeite Belle pounded the glass with both of her hooves, only to come out like small little taps. “HELP!! Somepony help me!! Rarity!? Apple Bloom!? Scootaloo!? Anypony!! HELP MEEEEEEE!!”
SLAM!
The door to Rarity’s room like, like rolling thunder to Sweetie Belle’s ears. Through the glass, she saw her sister shoot her head around the room, her eyes speaking of a panicked state. “Sweetie Belle, where are you!? Where could you have gone, my baby sister!?” The alabaster unicorn looked into her treasure chest, and threw all of the rags and garments out in search for her sister. To her dismay, she found nothing. Not even a little pink curl of her main or tail. “Oh, this is dreadful! This is just simply horrid! Mother and Father will be absolutely annoyed with me if I tell them that Sweetie Bell vanished into thin air! They’re going to scold me! Disown me! Even kick me out of my own house! OH, SWEETIE BELLE! WHERE IN EQUESTRIA ARE YOU!?”
Quickly thinking on her hooves, Sweetie Belle hopped up over to the ice cube further from her. She pounded on the glass again, her hooves becoming red from beating the glass. “Rarity!! I’m down here!! Rarity, I’m in your glass of water!!” Unbeknownst to Sweetie Belle, Rarity couldn’t see or hear her. Her minuscule body and her squeaky... well, squeakIER voice made impossible for her grab her sister’s attention. She saw the unicorn giantess stop to hyperventilate, laying a hoof over her chest.
“Calm down, Rarity! You mustn't for Sweetie Belle’s sake! If there is a chance for you to find her, you have to calm your nerves!” Breathing heavily from her anxiousness, Rarity spotted her glass sitting on the nightstand, unaware of her little sister trapped inside. All of this panicking was making her thirsty. “I think I may need a drink,” Rariy said, much to the horror of the unicorn filly. “I cannot think straight about this situation if I don’t quench my thirst.”
“Th-Th-Thirst?”
Suddenly, the glass was lifted into the air by Rarity’s baby blue magic aura. The sudden movements of the glass caused the water to wave, knocking a screaming Sweetie Belle from the ice cube she held on and into the water. The waving and the turbulence sent the shrunken unicorn all around the interior of her glass prison, smacking her underwater against the smooth, hard surface and pitting her against the oncoming ice cubes. To her, it was like being stranded in the middle of an ocean during a massive storm.
Then the water became calm. Sweetie Belle swam up to the surface and bobbed her head outside, coughing and sputtering the water remaining in her lungs. She looked to the giant face of Rarity, who opened her giant maw, welcoming the water to the inside of her mouth. Sweetie Belle gasped before she began to swim in the opposite direction of the current, the pull being too strong for her to resist. She heard sickly gulps from all the way behind her as she was dragged towards the giantess’s lips, the pearly white teeth coming in full view. Sweetie Belle gave her best effort, but was no expert swimmer. Then an ice ice cube surprised Sweetie Belle from the front and knocked her into her sister’s mouth.
“NO, RARITY!! PLEASE DON’T DRINK ME!!”
It was too late. She was inevitably pulled into Rarity’s dank and humid mouth, her tongue like an orange sea serpent dragging the liquid down to the back of her mouth. The dangling uvula undulated, forcing the torrent into the dark abyss below... and Sweetie Belle was next to join the digesting food in Rarity’s stomach. Panicking, Sweetie Belle made one last effort to avoid being swallowed by her own family, but the orange tongue surprised her from below. The spongy monolith forced Sweetie Belle into the back of the mouth. There, the last light of day was cut off by Rarity’s closing lips, her teeth clamping together with a CLINK!
In a last-ditch effort to preserve her life, Sweetie Belle grasped onto Rarity’s uvula, the slimy muscle making it nearly impossible for her to hold on. Then she heard the repeated deafening boom of Rarity’s coughing. The plan worked! Rarity on choking with her morsel, believing it to be water going down the wrong tube. The strong gusts of air shot upwards like a geyser, forcing Sweetie Belle out of her sister’s mouth and landing hard on her belly on the endless plane of the floor.
Rarity bumped her chest to force the source of her sudden coughing out from her throat, which proved fruitful for the fashionista. She cleard her throat a few times before she began to scold herself for the reckless drinking. “Well done, Rarity. Now you’ve done and nearly choked to death with all this pressure! You simply need to calm down! Searching for Sweetie Belle would prove pointless if you simply cannot retain your nerves!”
Sweetie Belle groaned as she staggered to get up on all four of her hooves. The impact to the floor knocked the wind out of her, but it was lucky that the fall didn’t do her in. She stumbled a little, but maintained a good balance with her body. She looked up to the colossus she called her sister, Rarity. Her white hooves stretched up like animate pillars, the undercarriage as tall and as long as a temple. Her shadowed eyes were nowhere in sight as they were cut off by her muzzle. Although, her mane still kept its natural curve, which to Sweetie Belle was bigger than a regular-sized hammock.
“Rar... *cough, cough* Rarity...” Sweetie Belle answered through her recovering, raspy voice. “Rarity... I.. I’m down... here.”
At this point, there was no other reason to call Rarity anymore. If the unicorn failed to hear her sister, then there was no point in calling her now. Sweetie Belle’s eyes began to leak tears as her giant sister pondered where the filly could’ve been teleported off to. “Now, let’s see. If Sweetie Belle isn’t inside of the house, then she could be anywhere in Ponyville. She could’ve been teleported off into her clubhouse. But then again, I doubt she would go there unless she and her friends are having a meeting there. Where could she possibly be, I wonder?” Rarity gasped as a worrisome thought surged through her head. “Oh no! Could Sweetie Belle have been teleported to the Everfree Forest!? Oh... Oh my. I cannot dawdle right now! She could be in grave danger! I have to rescue her, now!”
Rarity turned tail to canter out of the door. Her curling tail swept the floor like a spiral broom, carrying it and the micro-sized Sweetie Belle along with it. The little marshmallow filly held onto the fibers of the tail as the motion of her tail was carried into the air like a scary carnival thrill ride. The waving motion of the mare’s tail proved to be quite hazardous to Sweetie Belle as her sister galloped downstairs towards the door.. Her hold on the tail fibers began to slip as Rarity burst through the doors of the Carousel Boutique, doing a double-take in the busy streets of Ponyville.
“HAS ANYPONY SEEN MY LITTLE SISTER!?”
Everypony shot their shocked gazes at an overanxious Rarity. The booming volume of her yelling proved enough for Sweetie Belle to lose her grip as she used her hooves to cover her ears. She plummeted into a free fall into the grass of the gardens, screaming all the way down. She bounced off of a flower petal, slid down backwards a tall blade of grass and onto the dirt ground below with a PLOMPH! Dust clouds rose up from the impact of the fall. Sweetie Belle coughed away the clouds as she saw her sister through the jungle of flower stems and grass look around the streets for her in vain.
Sweetie Belle’s eyes watered and stifled a sob as she saw her sister gallop into the streets.
“Rarity...” she whimpered
The fashionista unicorn disappeared around the corner of the Boutique. Sweetie Belle fell on her flank, soaking in the harsh truth of reality. She was the size of a bug now. Rarity, her own big sister, almost swallowed her alive and she didn’t even know about it. Now she was in the presence of giants. With her current size, Sweetie Belle would be mistaken for a bug. She would be with squashed, eaten or dissected by somepony. Everything now seemed so big, that it would prove to be nearly impossible for Sweetie Belle to survive at a height of an inch.
“I’m in a nightmare,” the filly told herself. “Pretty soon I might remain the size of a bug and I might end up like the other bugs.” Sweetie Belle wiped her eyes of her tears and sniffled. “Oh, Rarity. I wish you could see how I am right now. I... I already miss you.”
With that, the filly curled up in a little ball. She began to sob as everypony went on with their day like there was no problem in the world... all except for Rarity, who desperately sought after her sister.
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I am interested
Cool story.
Okay, i'm not a fun of this kind of stuff...
BUT!
I really want to know where this is going so...
yea.
I'm going to have nightmares for weeks, man.
SHE BETTER REALLY GET EATEN AT ONE POINT!
you know, in that style where the exit is always...you get it. Nevermind. It's funny though.
wow. this is really good.
No actual nomming
but close enough
I wonder who is going to eat sweetie belle next?
Interesting piece. I'd like to see it improve.
I like how the scene played out, though I'm curious how Sweetie Belle managed to botch a simple teleportation spell so badly that she shrunk herself in addition to randomly moving herself to probably the worst possible location. That's a fairly complex spell I'm inclined to think even Twilight would struggle with.
I did like your descriptions, however, and as disappointed as I was that she didn't immediately get swallowed, the scene ended well, and the plot is lining up to run parallel to one of the best vore stories I've ever found in this fandom. However, if you want to match Hexus, you'll need to work on a few things.
Sentence structure
It's obvious that this was proofread, but you one or two things.
What is she gazing at?
You should omit 'with'. Is English your second language?
No, not pretty soon. Unless her size is still changing she is already remaining the size of a bug. Pretty soon she might end up like the other bugs, however. Very nice touch, that. It implies what could happen to her without directly saying it, allowing the reader to reach that conclusion themselves. You should do this more often.
Telling
This was very frustrating to deal with. Just as I would settle into the scene, it would begin to remind me that it was just a book. You're telling so hard it break's immersion and that's got to stop. Look to the example I mentioned above for how to fix this.
You don't need to explain everything to your reader. Let them infer some of these things, especially if they're obvious. If Rarity is spouting off about how distressed she is over losing her sister, and begins flinging things from her drawers without thought to where they fall, it doesn't take a genius to work out what she's up to. You should focus more on the intensity of her panic.
Once again, we can figure this out based on Rarity taking absolutely no notice of Sweetie Belle. You're wasting words. Focus on Sweetie Belle's terror as she realizes Rarity truly doesn't know she's down there.
Try to clean those up with your other chapters as well. I hope you found this helpful. As always, good luck, and never stop writing.
I got a "Honey I Shrunk The Kids" vibe at this point.
This story is awesome so far. It should have been an actual episode of MLP FiM.