zomg vamponies, or, Fluttershy the Hunter

by bahatumay

Fluttershy's Discovery, or, Twilight's Confusion

Late one afternoon, Fluttershy burst into the library, freaking out.
This was not merely a freakout by Fluttershy's standards, but a freakout by anypony's standards. She was breathing hard, chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath.
"Twi.. Twi... Twilight!" she gasped out.
Twilight walked out of the kitchen, chef's hat askew on her head. "Fluttershy? What brings you here?"
"Twilight! You gotta help me!"
"Of course, Fluttershy; but with what?"
Fluttershy tried to catch her breath before explaining, "I went to donate blood down at the clinic...."
"Oh yeah, I was actually planning on heading over after lunch. It would let me cross off the 'do something good' item on today's checklist, right between 'learn a new recipe' and...."
"Twilight, DON'T!"
"Why not?"
After a furtive glance to make sure they were alone, Fluttershy leaned in. "Because Nurse Redheart.... is a vampony!" she squeaked.
To Twilight's credit, she managed to keep a straight face for about five whole seconds before bursting out laughing in Fluttershy's face. She didn't mean to, of course; but the thought was so preposterous that she had no other option. Nurse Redheart: Kind? Yes. Stern? At times. Powerful? Fairly. Vampony? Ridiculous.
Fluttershy stomped her hoof in frustration. "It's true!"
"All right, Fluttershy, maybe you'd better start at the beginning."
"Well, I woke up, I did my morning stretches, I made breakfast for all my animal friends, and then I swept my front porch, and then I...."
Twilight raised a hoof. "Could you maybe skip ahead to the part where Redheart comes in?"
"Oh, yes. Um, well, they set me down, and Redheart put in the needle, and the bag was getting full, it was slightly startling. She gave me a lot of instructions, like don't stomp too hard, and to call her if I got lightheaded. Well, I sat there until the bag was full, and I got kinda dizzy, and when I saw Redheart again, it was all dark around her and she had fangs! And her eyes were all red. And she picked up the blood and just smiled.... so.... scarily.... And then I fainted."
"What happened then?"
"She gave me some apple juice in a juice box, but I was so afraid, I almost didn't drink it. But I was really thirsty, so I did."
"What did you eat before you went to the clinic?"
"Oh, nothing, I was running late this morning."
Twilight nodded, satisfied. "Well, that explains it, right? You didn't eat breakfast, you hallucinated from the loss of blood, Redheart is not a vampony. All is well."
"Twilight. I know what I saw!"
Twilight could see just how much this meant to her friend. She quickly calculated the odds--vamponies didn't exist. If anything, this would end up being a waste of time, and if anypony found out, they would probably poke fun at her. The personal student of Princess Celestia, on a wild smoke chase? But no friend would leave a friend alone with something that was obviously very important to her.... right?
Right?
She sighed. Against her much better judgment, Twilight agreed, "Very well. An expedition, to prove that Redheart isn't... or is," she quickly added, seeing the look in Fluttershy's eyes, "a vampony. We have plenty of books to start looking for cures, or how to k- defeat one, we can get supplies, like wooden stakes, garlic..."
"Burnt hay fries?"
"Burnt hay fr.... What?"
Spike walked in, carrying a blackened tray full of what used to be delicious hay fries. "And this is why *I* cook most of the time," he commented darkly.
Twilight grinned sheepishly. "Oh.... heh heh.... forgot about those." She turned back to Fluttershy. "Tell you what. I have some personal projects to do this afternoon, but I'll do some research tonight. Come back tomorrow, and we'll get to the bottom of this."
Fluttershy's stomach grumbled.
Twilight raised an eyebrow. "Have you eaten anything since then?"
"Um.... no."
"Fluttershy! It's nearly 3! Well, you're welcome to stay for lunch."
"If you want to, that is," Spike muttered, crunching on a blackened hay fry.
He didn't understand the quick snort of laughter from Twilight.

Comments

[Moon_Dew]

Twilight Sparkle: Smart enough to recognize the signs of the return of Nightmare Moon, but yet made the mistake of turning her back on the food she's cooking.