zomg vamponies, or, Fluttershy the Hunter

by bahatumay

Hemlick--The Aftermath

Later that night, Fluttershy snuggled herself deeper under her covers. So what if Redheart got to fool everypony else for another day? This next test should prove it... right? She had to make sure her friends were safe.

Her musings were interrupted as she heard what she thought was somepony banging very loudly on her door.

No, that was impossible. It was the wind, hopefully.... Wait! There it was again.

Fear was her first reaction. Fluttershy whispered, “Nopony's home!” and pulled the pillow over her head.

"Fluttershy!! What did you do to me, Fluttershy??”

Fluttershy's heart nearly stopped.

“I'm going to get you, Fluttershy!”

She removed the pillow in surprise as she recognized that voice. After all this time, she had been chasing the wrong pony.

The vampony had been Vinyl Scratch this whole time.

She had walked right into the library, fooled Twilight, and now she was back to finish the job.

It's a strange feeling, being too scared to faint. Stranger still the thoughts that pop into your mind at such times. The thing that worried Fluttershy the most? Three months ago, in preparations for the Royal Wedding, she had invited Octavia over to help her teach her birds a song.

Vinyl Scratch had tagged along, and had tried to teach the birds some 'vocal dubstep' (1). That hadn't worked, but afterwards, Fluttershy had invited both ponies to stay for lunch.

Both.

Inside her house.

With the invitation already extended, the only thing keeping Vinyl from getting inside was the door. Fluttershy hoped it would hold.

A loud crash told her she had hoped in vain.

“Fluttershy!!”

Please don't come in, Fluttershy pleaded silently.

The universe chose to ignore that request, too, as Vinyl Scratch stumbled through the house and into her room.

“What did you do to me, Fluttershy?” Vinyl demanded. Her glasses were askew on her face, her mane was more messy than usual, and she looked positively horrifying.

Fluttershy was too scared to squeak.

Vinyl took another step forward—and then, with a loud metallic clang, fell to the floor. Angel Bunny stood behind her, frying pan raised behind his head just in case she got up again.

She didn't. With a shudder, Vinyl Scratch lay still.

Fluttershy looked fearfully at Angel. “Did you kill her?”

Angel looked up with an expression that clearly read, 'She was trying to eat you. That should be the least of your concerns right now.'

There was only one course of action now. “I'm going to go get Twilight. You stand guard! Please.”

Angel saluted smartly as Fluttershy flew out the door.

* * *

"Twilight!" Fluttershy beat (relatively speaking, that is) on the door with her hooves, casting nervous glances over her shoulder. "Twilight! I was wrong! It was Vinyl Scratch all along!!"

Suddenly, the door opened. Twilight stood there, looking very tired and quite out of it. Had she gotten sick?

Fluttershy's priority shifted immediately. "Twilight? Are you ok?" Kindness takes no breaks, even if there is a vampony on the loose.

When Twilight spoke, it sounded like she had come down with a cold. A really, bad cold. "I remembered why hemlick sounded so familiar. The full name is white river hemlick. It isn't white-river hemlick, meaning it grows near whitewater rapids like I thought; it's white river-hemlick, meaning its flowers are white and it grows near rivers. That's an old name. Today, it's commonly known as poison lemongrass."

Fluttershy gasped. "Poison?!?" She was horrified. "Did I poison the ponies?"

Twilight shook her head. "Oh, it's only harmful to unicorns. It messes with our magic. Basically, we get a magic cold. It wears off eventually, but until then..." How should she word this? "We're not happy."

"Oh.... That would explain a lot of things...." Fluttershy muttered. Then she realized she had spoken aloud. Her ears dropped and with a quiet “meep!”, she shrank under Twilight's questioning stare (not to be confused with The Stare™).

"Why? What happened?"

Fluttershy squeaked. With every word of her next sentence, her voice rose in pitch, diminished in volume, and she retreated further behind her mane and lower to the ground. "Um.... It could be very possible that maybe Vinyl Scratch could be slightly totally unconscious in my house?"

Whatever Twilight had been expecting, that was not it. "What??"

Fluttershy squeaked again, and if she had tried to say something else, Twilight didn't understand. She sighed. It wasn't like she was going to get any sleep tonight, anyway. Might as well be productive. “Lead the way, I guess.”

* * *

Fluttershy felt her wingtips flare in surprise at the sight. (2)

Surrounded by many animal guards, Vinyl Scratch lay strapped to the kitchen table (Fluttershy briefly wondered how they had managed to get it outside) on her back, held down by a strange assortment of ropes, strings, bedsheets, and even a piece of thread. In that position, her belly was ready to be exposed to the sun. Some fur had obviously been shaved, to expose more skin, but it had been done very irregularly and very unprofessionally. Angel Bunny was digging in a spot in the yard, as if to retrieve something. Or bury something. Fluttershy shuddered. (3)

Vinyl turned over and saw the approaching pegasus and unicorn. Her reddish eyes glinted as she smiled wryly. "I gotta hand it to ya, Fluttershy; your animal friends really know how to make a pony feel welcome."

"I'm so sorry, Vinyl, I had no idea...."

Vinyl shrugged as best she could. “Well, I don't exactly blame you. I did kindof bust into your house in the middle of the night. But that does remind me why I came by in the first place.” She coughed, cleared her throat... and started screaming again. “What did you do to me, Fluttershy? Why can't I use my magic? Answer me, Fluttersh-”

Her rant was cut short by a glass of water in her face. Twilight's patience was running quite thin and she had had quite enough. “The tea had poison lemongrass in it. I didn't know. I'm sick too. Stop shouting. It'll wear off soon.”

Vinyl mulled this over. “It'd better. At my gig tonight I couldn't use magic and it's been forever since I did it manually and I almost got booed off stage. That NEVER happens to DJ Pon-3. Never!” She said this with much conviction and emotion. Then she paused. “Pon-3 is me, by the way,” she said, by way of explanation.

“I gathered,” Twilight muttered. “Yes, it should wear off soon.”

“Good. Now get me out, please. I'm starting to get an ache in my back.”

* * *

After releasing Vinyl (and much work convincing Angel that she was not a threat after all), Fluttershy turned to Twilight. “Thank you so much for helping me.”

“Don't mention it,” mumbled Twilight.

“Anything I can do for you?”

“No,” Twilight said wearily, “I think I'm just going home.”

“Are you sure?” Fluttershy asked. “Before you go, I can make you some...”

Twilight's eyes narrowed. “Don't say 'tea'.”

Fluttershy deflated slightly. “...I was going to say soup....”

Twilight paused. “Actually, I'd appreciate that.”

* * *

After a nice bowl of warm soup (and Twilight gaining some appreciation for the eating skills of the magic-less races), Twilight and Fluttershy walked back to the library. Instinctively, Twilight tried to open the door with her magic, but nothing happened. Sighing, she kicked it open with her hoof. She scanned the library, but since Spike was asleep, it was just as how she'd left it—a bit of a mess. “Thanks for walking me home, Fluttershy, but you know you didn't have to do that.”

“Oh, it's no problem.”

Looking back, Twilight said, “You'd better go home and...” Not watching where she was going, Twilight ran into a bookshelf, knocking over a large statue balanced on the bookshelf.

She caught it with her magic. At least, she tried to. Her horn sparked but the magic didn't take, and it fell to the ground with a loud bang.

Twilight cringed. Hopefully it didn't wake up...

“Wah? Watch out! I know origami!”

...Spike... Twilight sighed.

“It's just us, Spike.”

The baby dragon poked his head out from upstairs. He rubbed his eyes sleepily. “What are you doing up so late?”

“Damage control. That tea we had had poison lemongrass in it, so it threw off all our magic.”

“Oh. That's a problem,” Spike observed sagely.

Too exhausted to think of a biting comeback, Twilight settled for simply nodding. “Now, hopefully everypony else went straight to sleep and we won't have to worry about this anymore.” She started heading up the stairs.

She stopped short when Fluttershy said, "Wait a minute.... what about Rarity? She was our last customer, and..."

Spike was awake instantly. “What happened to Rarity?” he demanded, clinging to Twilight's forelegs.

Defeated, Twilight hung her head. “Fine.... fine.... We'll go check on Rarity.”

* * *

The three headed down Ponyville's empty streets. Even if Twilight had been blind, she would have known where they were going—they could hear crying from inside the boutique. As they got closer, they could distinguish words out of the cacophony of wails and crying.

"This is the worst possible thing!"

Another voice; younger, shriller, but just as fierce, yelled back from upstairs. "We KNOW! Let it GO! It's two am and I'm trying to SLEEP!"

Two in the morning? Oh, Twilight knew she would regret this whole mess in the morning....

Heck, she was regretting this whole mess now.

Spike knocked urgently on the door.

“Go away!” the distraught mare wailed. “I don't want anypony to see me in this, my moment of weakness and failure!”

Twilight thought she could hear something pounding repeatedly upstairs, almost like the sound of a small head against a wall, and briefly wondered if Sweetie Belle were trying to knock herself out. This actually sounded like a sane idea.

“Later?” Fluttershy started, but Twilight was done waiting. Instinctively, she tried to open the door with magic, and was rewarded with a purple glow around the doorknob.

Rarity looked up from where she sat, hunched over her workbench, half-finished dresses surrounding her. They had obviously been started, but discarded when her magic had fizzled. She somehow managed to pull a relieved smile. “Oh... It is good to know that my friends will never desert me, even in times of trial!” (4)

“Your sister sure wants to!” Sweetie Belle called from upstairs. She went largely ignored.

“I don't understand, but somehow I have lost my magic! This is the worst possible thing!” Rarity wailed, her horn sparking as she instinctively tried to pull her fainting couch to her side... but due to her lack of magic, no couch was forthcoming; and she collapsed on the ground (where she commenced sobbing again).

Spike, sensing his chance, ran up to giver her a comforting hug. Fluttershy brought over a handkerchief. Rarity took it gratefully, wiping her eyes as she held it in a blue glow.

Wait....

Spike looked up at Rarity. “But if your magic is gone, how are you able to carry that handkerchief?”

Rarity looked up in surprise. Her eyes flicked from the handkerchief to the baby dragon, and back again, before she squealed with joy. “Spike! You healed me!” She gave him a kiss on the forehead and bounced around like Pinkie Pie.

“RARITY!!” Sweetie Belle's shrill scream showed that she was all manner of fed up with her sister. However, Spike, on his side (literally... he had collapsed in happiness after the kiss), was perfectly happy with Rarity, and would gladly have watched her bounce for the rest of the night.

Rarity resumed bouncing, but in place this time. “Ooh, this is fantastic! I need to get back to work.”

Twilight smiled wearily. “And I need to go back to sleep.” Quietly rinsing her hooves of this whole mess, she teleported back to her bed and was asleep before she even could pull up her covers.

* * *

A few hours later, Rarity poked her head into the room where her sister was sleeping and called softly. “Sweetie Belle, time to go to school!”

“Oh, come on!” her sister protested, the sound muffled (apparently coming from underneath a pillow).

“Sweetie Belle!” Rarity tried calling again, but was interrupted by a pillow hitting her face.

“Well, I never... Sweetie Belle, it's time to get up!”

“No!”

Rarity marched sternly (yet ladylike, of course) up to her sister's bedside. “Give me one good reason why not.”

Deep under her covers, the little white unicorn filly screwed her eyes shut and raised her voice. “Because it's SATURDAY, that's why!” she howled shrilly, all the frustrations of last night returning.

Rarity was taken aback, having worked so long she had forgotten that little detail. “Oh... right... Well, you still should...”

Rarity's train of thought was interrupted by another pillow hitting her face.

“Well, I suppose another hour or so couldn't hurt,” she muttered, leaving her sister to catch up on sleep.

Comments

[bahatumay]

1) Oh, Vinyl... I imagine it would sound a little something like this.
2) It's funny how different I am depending on how tired I am. When I first wrote this scene early in the morning, Tired Me wrote “Fluttershy's wings flared out in surprise...” and thought that was perfectly fine. Awake Me a day or two later thought, “Did I just give Fluttershy a bondage fetish?” That was slightly awkward.
3) It was to retrieve the garlic from before. I'm so proud of my continuity!
4) But let it be known that in times of trial, Pinkie Pie will always *puts on sunglasses* “dessert” you. Yeeeeeaah!

[Bluenova]

Or what if every unicorn in Ponyville is a vampony?!

[InkFathom]

864392
I love how you do those little... (1)(2)(3)... things.
I'd consider doing that in my story, but I'm horrible at reference jokes.