U.S. Department of Strategic Extradimensional Enforcement

by WarKing76

Chapter 1: The Enrollment Syndrome Part 1

U.S. Department of Strategic Extradimensional Enforcement

Chapter 1: The Enrollment Syndrome Part 1

Written by WarKing76

Edited by Silver Page

You regained consciousness, sensing the world around you. You could feel yourself sitting on something rather solid and chilly. Your best guess was that you were sitting on a metal chair. You could feel the metallic sensation of something restraining both your arms and legs. Again, you presumed you were bounded by handcuffs. The only thing your body could not perceive was the ability of sight.

When you made the effort of opening your eyes all you could see was darkness. You felt the blindfold warped around your head. Recalling the events that took place, the thought of being abducted filled your mind. You wildly struggled in an attempt to remove yourself from the chair but it was all in vain. The sound of footsteps walking toward your direction replaced your sudden panic with anxiety, ending your tussling.

“The brony’s awake,” said a voice.

“Good, let’s begin,” said another.

You could hear one of them walking behind you. You then felt the fabric being untied and tossed away. Finally able to see, what you saw in front of you simply left you baffled.

“A clown?” you said in confusion.

From what you could gather from the remains of your memory, you remembered clowns were suppose be cheerful and smiling, but not this circus entertainer. His expressionless face meant he was either serious or just plain unamused.

Before you could say anything else further, the clown humorlessly sprayed water on your face with his squirting flower. Without warning, you felt the chair and yourself being jerked around by someone behind you.

“Holy Pikachu juggling flaming wheelbarrows!” you shouted in fright.

“Where are they?!” said the man dressed as Batman. Was he alright? He sounded like he was gargling marbles. And they? The only people you could remember in your short near memory-less life was those creeps coming out the forest and a purple pony unicorn.

Detesting your silence, Batman spun you around once again, making you face the deadpanned clown. The clown then nonchalantly squirted your good old pal H2O all over your face. As you were attempting to wipe your drenched face with your cuffed hands, the man swiveled you around to confront you.

“Where are they?!” he repeated.

“I can’t remember!” you shouted back.

He then did the same routine on you again. He spun the chair, the clown shot a jet of liquid on your pretty face and then the bat-freak spun the chair again just to shout you in the face with his very own spittle.

“Where are they?!”

“I’m telling you! I can’t remember, okay?!” you barked. “All I remember was driving outside the city, stopping to help a freaking unicorn on the road, get surrounded by psychos who wanted said unicorn and then get my memory nearly wiped by the very same people!

“Oh, don’t forget. After all of that, I woke up tied by two insane maniacs dressed as a clown and Batman, torturing me with a squirting flower! All of this happening possibly under one of your mother’s basement!”

Leaning closer, Batman’s face was now inches away from yours, glaring at you with his eyes squinted. “Touché,” he whispered harshly at you.

You then heard the door behind swig open and someone walking in.

“Oh man,” a familiar feminine voice said, “that was hilarious!”

Batman then spun you around, hopefully, for the last time. You could now see the woman walking toward you with a cocky grin.

From where you were sitting, she looked like she was as tall as your average man. The combat gear she was wearing made it hard to tell what kind of physique she had. Average maybe? The way she was wearing it though made it looked like she could intimate the two clowns here… Okay, in retrospect, there’s an actual clown in the room with you but you knew the point.

Her blond hair, which was tied behind into a loose and messy bun, was sweaty, dirty and overall smelly. You swore you could smell it from where you were sitting.

And her eyes, oh man, her eyes were simply an oddity to you. Her eyes had different pigments, one eye was blue while the other was green. There was a word for it but you could not recall. What was it? Hetro…hetroce-something. Gah! Everything was too blurry for you! Why couldn't you remember?!

“Good job you two, I love it when bronies getting all quaky.” The woman said with a hint of glee.

Oh right, that's because she was the one who nearly wiped your memories.

“Great, can I take this thing off now?” said the clown.

“Shut it, boot!” she ordered the clown. “You’re ruining the moment.”

Batman then came up from behind, stood next to the clown and gripped his shoulder. “She’s right Kelly, have fun while it last. It’s not like we do this everyday. And who knows, the guys might stop hazing you once the brony pass initiation.”

“If the brony passes initiation, you mean?” The woman retorted. “And don’t forget, the brony hasn't decided whether to join us or not. Even once this is over, you’re still a boot. We have the right to haze you whenever we want.”

“With all due respect,” said the clown angrily, “up yours.”

“Kelly…” she snapped.

“Up yours, ma’am.”

“That’s better, you’re dismissed gentlemen.”

Batman saluted and was the first to leave, but Kelly the Clown on the other hand simply walked out the room and gave the woman the finger. The armored figure simply rolled her eyes and said, “Boots, I’m I right?”

“Um, boots?” You asked with a raised eyebrow.

“New guys, rookies, what-the-effs they’re called.” She spun around and walked toward you with a key in hand. “Now hold still, I gotta unlock those cuffs.”

“What makes you think I won’t bust your face in and escape once you free me?” That might not be the smartest thing you had said but you felt a tad bit pissed off after what the woman and her little associates had done to you.

She took a knee in front of you and looked you right in the eye, “I got a feeling you might say that.”

Right on cue, a large figure stepped into the room. He was outfitted with the same uniform and webbing as the woman was, except for his donned helmet and balaclava. Once he cranked his neck toward you, the large man cracked his knuckles.

For the second time in your life, you wondered if you picked the right choice of words.

Author's Note:

Alright folks, here's the deal: I'll be making every new chapter within only 1,000 up to 1,200 words. Why you may ask? Well since I'm a slow writer and I like to stop at a certain point of the story before posting the chapter, it takes forever for me to update. So I'm just going to set a limit for myself, that way I can upload chapters more frequently and put less burden on myself.

In other news, I made me self some custom horizontal rule line thingamajigs! Pretty neat, huh?

Awesome!

Right, so some of you may notice a certain someone in the story, and I'm not going to tell who (unless, of course, if you were to look at the new 'Update Box' below) or how he got there (I asked him if he wanted a cameo) but he did say he would like to see more of himself later on in the story. So expect a little bit more of him later on (maybe).

Tags Added: Random
Special Guest: Kelly the Clown Machine Gun Kelly

Comments

[swisspony]

ok, this was random like

[bluemoon1996]

By the nine.... I can't.... Stop laughing XD

[CMDR Kovacs]

MG Lelly. Bringing the lelz one bullet at a time.

[poisedanimeBloke]

Write more now!

[Tyrannosaurus_Tux]

That unprofessional hazing thoe