• Published 9th Apr 2014
  • 2,515 Views, 34 Comments

U.S. Department of Strategic Extradimensional Enforcement - WarKing76

The Strategic Extradimensional Enforcement (SEE) was established to protect America from all interdimensional threats. Sadly for them, most of these threats are magical pastel ponies.

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Prologue: The Highway Brony Sydrome

It was a dark and stormy night — okay it was actually mid-afternoon and the rain had only just started to trickle down, but damn there was a lot of fog today. It was difficult for anyone to see anything through the mist.

Well, except for you of course.

You could see a couple of things further up ahead than most people, it was not a complete picture but it was better than nothing. You always had been an eagle eye and knew just where to look, you’re strange like that. You had your windshield wipers and headlamps turned on though, it’s better to be safe than sorry. But they were not helping much.

A minute ago you were driving along one of California’s national forest roads just outside the city of Los Angeles minding your own businesses, and then the next thing you knew *Bam!* Here, have a nice thick fog for ya, enjoy the rest of your day asswipe!

You sighed. Whatever, at least you got your Limited Edition My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Air Freshener™ dangling on your rear-view mirror. The little thing had the My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic logo with all the main six casts of the show, the sun alicorn and even the baby dragon. You might want to get a shorter ball chain though, the air freshener had bopped you on the head about three times already. Stupid thing.

It was so long you bet you could even wear it around your neck if you wanted to. Wait…actually, that might not be a bad idea. You could wear it wherever you go and smell good at the same time. Man, you are a genius. You probably had to tuck the air freshener under your shirt though. You don’t want to attract unwanted attention.

As you were about to place it around your neck, you spotted something outside your front windscreen out of the corner of your eye. You glanced ahead only to spot something colorful and vibrant within the fog. Good thing you had a keen eye or else you might not had seen whatever this was you were approaching.

You unconsciously held the air freshener in your hand and reduced your car’s speed appropriately, keeping a close eye on the road. Within the confines of your mind, you tried to identify this odd complexion within the mist. Was your mind playing tricks on you? Could it be a hobo using a colorful sign on the middle of the road trying to get more attention? Had the Federal Highway Administration finally snapped and decided to replace boring old black and white traffic signs into colorful new ones? No wait, scratch that last one, the Highway Administration had always been like that.

Ah, forget it. You’d find out soon enough. Oh wait, you could actually see her right now.

“Wait, her?” you whispered to yourself.

The car decelerated as your foot lessened the weight on the throttle.

“What in the world…?”

Your foot was barely applying any pressure now.

“No way!”

Both of your feet were firm on the mat.

“No freaking way!”

Your car began to stagger on the tarmac.

“This isn't possible!”

The car was just inches away from her.

"Excuse me universe, what kind of bullshit is this?!"

You involuntary twisted the car keys, turning off the ignition.

“I have finally reached that point of my life, haven’t I?”

The car shook slightly after she stomped on your hood with her purple little furry forearms.

“I’m in my mid-life crisis!” Okay, you were pretty sure you were over exaggerating…maybe.

Never in your life would you find yourself confronting with a fictional character. Especially if the character was a magical talking unicorn named Twilight Sparkle.

The look on her face she gave you was one of utter dread. And the deep pain within her eyes told you she had been treading for many hours through the forest, probably exhausted by now. Well that and the fact that she was nearly covered in dead leaves, dried mud and a couple of cuts and bruises.

“H-help me,” said Twilight Sparkle, the unicorn that shouldn't exist.

You just sat there, unable to process the cartoon pony in front of you.

“I don’t want them to get me.”

You can’t believe this. Was she for real?

“Please, I don’t have much time!” You could see tears forming out of her huge eyes.

You looked down and saw the air freshener clutched within your hand.

You gotta snap out of your trance and help her! You’re probably hallucinating and the pony in front of your car might not be there at all, but you have at least try.

You unbuckled your seatbelt, grabbed your black leather jacket and jumped out of the car as fast as you possibly could. Once outside you could feel the cold air and rain making contact with your exposed parts of your skin. You shuddered, but you sucked it up and started to slowly approach the unicorn.

Suddenly, the murky fog disappeared. You were glad the fog was gone but the surrounding area around you got dimmer. You looked up momentarily and saw dark gray clouds were forming up in the sky.

“Freaky,” you said to yourself.

You turned toward your hood and saw the unicorn had laid her eyes upon you, her pupils dilated into pinpricks.

And then she yelped. “Y-you’re one of them!” she pointed at you as she backed away, “Get away from me!”

Poor thing, she must had met some of the more ‘friendlier locals’ and probably think you’re here to get her as well.

“Whoa there, I’m not going to hurt you.” You bent down and slowly reached your arm out with your jacket, “You’re soaking wet. Here, take my jacket.”

At first she was reluctant, but when the gusts of wind and rain blew over Twilight and you, she accepted your offer by grabbing your leather jacket with her magic and placing it over herself. Then, as if Mother Nature still wanted to prove a point, a sudden brief illumination materialized within the clouds and a loud thunderous noise came afterward. To make things worse, the rain was beginning to fall more heavily.

Now this was just getting creepy. Just two of you alone, standing outside next to your car, heavy rain pouring down, in a dark eerie forest. You could have sworn you’re in some a cheesy horror flick right about now.

You looked upon the sky once more. Something’s wrong with the weather pattern, it shouldn't be like this. It was as if a mystical force was changing the elements itself.

Another forked lightning came out of the clouds. And for a split second, you saw the source of the strange weather anomaly: A silhouette figure of a pegasus lying behind a gray cloud. But that wasn't the biggest concern though.

Maybe you should get a doctor because you could have sworn the pegasus was holding a long sturdy rifle. Then again, you should probably also consider telling the doctor you’d just given your jacket to a purple unicorn. Yeah, you’re going to have a field day after this.

You looked down again once more to see the pony frozen in shock. “What’s wrong…?” you asked. “Is there something in my teeth?”

She shook her head. “B-b-behind you,” she shuttered.

You stood up and turned around, spotting a dozen glowing cyan pairs of eyes within the forestry. What had been seconds felt like hours for you. You did not dare move and in return they observed both you and Twilight in silence. Only the heavy sound of rain hitting the tarmac could be heard.

“Get in the car,” you ordered Twilight. Might not be the best choice of words since she’d undoubtedly not know what a car was, but you knew she was the smartest out of main six. You were confident the mare would figure it out soon enough.

You glanced behind, spotting a motionless Twilight staring into forest on the other side of the road. Okay, maybe she wasn't bright as you thought.

Turning toward the direction where Twilight was facing, you saw six similar blue eyes shimmering within the woods, just like the ones behind you.

Both you and Twilight were now trapped between a rock and a hard place. You had two options now, you could either: 1) Grab the pony and make a run for the car, only to be surrounded moments later. Or 2) Stand still and hope they’ll go away.

Actually you probably could think up more than two, but you’re scared shitless to come up with anything else. Even if you tried, one of them could have sneaked behind you by the time you do.

“Wait a minute…”

You turned around once again.

“Holy kangaroo on a pogo stick!” You nearly jumped in fright.

There it was, two large glowing eyes staring down into your very soul. There was nothing holding them afloat. They were suspended in midair, just a good few feet above the road.

“Step away from the creature,” said the floating orbs.

Then another flash from the clouds briefly illuminated the area around you. When it was over, you could see them clearly now. Well, as clear as you could on a rainy misty day.

The floating blue eyes wasn't eyes that all. They were some kind of night vision goggles. And the goggles weren't floating they were being worn by masked figures in combat overalls. By the look of it these shadowy figures were wearing US military fatigues, but you could not tell which part of the military they were from. Army, National Guard, Marine…you simply could not tell.

You were not sure why they were here, but one thing was for certain was they came here armed to the teeth. Bulletproof vests, assault rifles, light machine guns and holy shit was one of them carrying a portable missile launcher on his shoulder?

The figure in front of you took a step closer, making you retreat a step back. Holy molly, he’s one intimidating dude.

“I said, step away from the creature.” said the figure once more in a feminine tone.

Correction, she’s one very intimidating lady.

She positioned herself into a combat stance and pulled out a rod. “Don’t make me repeat myself!” She then quickly lashed her arm violently, causing the rod to lengthen and reveal its black metallic extension.

You took another step back. “H-hey now, there’s no need to get violent. Can we just grab a pizza or something and talk this over?” You attempted to persuade her.

“No can do,” she replied. “We don’t know what that thing is and what it’s capable of. So I need you to come forward toward us, slowly.”

You turned toward the mare behind you and saw she was shaking her head and mouthed, “Don’t.”

Turning back toward the mysterious woman, you answered her request by shaking your head and said, “I don’t think so.”

“Wha—?” Her reply was cut short when you felt your grip on the wet air freshener loosened. You managed to grab hold onto the ball chain but the air freshener itself was now dangling. “Oh you've got to be shitting me,” she groaned when she saw the swinging My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic air freshener. “How in god’s name you bronies are always the first to find the P-O-Es on the roads, huh? I mean, there are literally hundreds of thousands of people driving on this country and somehow bronies of all people are one the first to find them!”

Okay, you had a slight hint she was a tad bit of a nutcase. But now? Now you knew she was a total lunatic. Who would overreact over something as small as a Pony on Earth fan fiction cliché?

“Look lady,” you said. “I don’t know what you guys want to do with the unicorn, other than fulfilling your childhood dream of owning a pony, but I’m sure as hell not letting you or your buddies hurt her.”

She retracted slightly by your proclamation, “Are you serious, dude?” But she recovered shortly, “Now that’s another weird habit you bronies like to do. Why would you guys protect those little rascals to the point of hurting yourselves? Think about it man, why would you defend a person who doesn't even know you? If the situation was flipped, they’ll probably kick you out of their little funky town even if you didn't try to.”

“Miss, there are two things you should really know right about now. One, I’m not budging from this spot no matter what you do or say.” You positioned yourself in a combat stance of your own, or at least the best you could do was be a meat shield. “And two, you are the most totally insane and jacked up person I have ever met this week, and not in a good way may I add.”

“Well you look at that, a brony with guts and a sense of humor. You don’t see that everyday.” She took another step closer, “And you know what? You’re right, you’re honestly and totally right.” She charged at you with her baton raised. “I am crazy!”

You shut your eyes out of reflex and prepared yourself to become a punching bag. But it didn't came. Next thing you heard was the thump of a baton whacking a solid wall, followed by another wallop and the sounds of rain trickling soon afterward. You opened an eyelid and found yourself in a pink dome, “What the?” you whispered to yourself.

You opened your other eye to see the mad armored figure had been knocked down, most likely by the dome. You then turned around to see Twilight Sparkle had spread her hooves and aimed her glowing horn forward, focusing all her remaining magical might into the shield. “Oh right, you have magic.” You said to her with a smirk, “Thanks.”

Twilight slowly looked up toward you and smiled back, “You’re welcome.”

Suddenly, you heard a loud irritated groan behind you. You spun in the direction of the low noise to see the armored figure slowly getting up. She then mumbled a number of curses as she strolled toward your little safe haven. Once she stopped in front of the dome, she adjusted the dial on her baton with her thumb and proceeded to thrust it into the magical shield without any real effort into the stab itself.

It happened so fast. First, the dome itself was suddenly covered by electrical sparks and flashes. Next you found Twilight curled into a ball, howling in pain. The next thing you knew, you found yourself surrounded by the other mysterious figures, ready to train their rifles on you.

“Now where were we?” the woman said playfully. “Oh yes, something about you saying I was a deranged psychopath?”

“Huh, w-what? Me? No, no, no I d-didn't say that!” You grinned nervously. “I said you’re, um…”

You had to think of something! Something smart, something original, something that will put every charismatic human being on this planet put to shame!

“Have you been working out?”

Oh good god, that was terrible.

“Ramirez,” she said in an irritated tone.

“Ma’am?” someone behind you replied. You turned around to see a shadowy figure taking a few steps closer toward you.

“Flash the brony,” the woman ordered ominously.

“With pleasure, ma’am.” Leveling his rifle, the man shifted his hand toward what appeared to be a tactical flashlight attached to the rifle’s underslung rail and activated the device.

Then the flashes began.


The device emitted repetitive flashes of light, throwing you into blindness, disorientation and overall panic. You instinctively closed your eyes, but the light itself was bright enough to bypass through your eyelids, at least it helped ease the pain though.


But there was something strange going on every time it flashed.


You couldn't figure out how or why, but all you could tell was the longer you gazed into the flashing light you’d lose more and more parts of your memory.






Why were you even here?


Why were you here in California? Driving in the middle of nowhere nonetheless?


You just couldn't— couldn't…remember.


You had to remember, you just had to!



Los Angeles, California, United States of America…


Why were you here in America?


Are you even American?


No, you had to stop staring at the flashing light! It's making you forget!


You forced yourself away from the man and spun around only to see the mysterious figure and her goons had their flickering devices turned on as well.


Oh no…


They were wiping out your memories!


You had to figure out how to get out of this mess. You had to— wait, hold on…


You spotted your car, making you wonder.


Was this even your car?


In the midst of the near blinding chaos, you found Twilight’s entire body suddenly twitching on the road, losing control of her magic and firing a bolt of magic at the car producing a large, gaping hole through the engine.


You hoped it was a rental.


Out of panic, you turned to the other side of the road only to, once again, get peppered by the same flashing illumination from the man’s device.


You then heard the sound of the other mysterious figures near the man activating their strange devices, tearing down even more parts of your memories.




Why was this happening to you?


All you wanted was to get to— get to… Great, you couldn't even remember where you wanted to go in the first place!


Just your luck, you’re trapped and was about to lose every moment of your life. This couldn't get any worse.


No, you can’t just give up now! You had to find a way out of this!


Or your name wasn't—


Your name wasn't…


Your name…








No, no, no!


Oh god, you couldn't remember your name!


These people, whoever they are, were here to cut loose ends even if it left the victims memory-less!


Y-you had to do something!


Your mind was racing, calculating the best options for survival. But it ended up leaving you with only two options.








But before you could decide, you heard someone…weeping.


You turned to see a purple— no wait, it was lavender.


Yes, it was a lavender pony.


And she was curled up in a fetal position, crying.


Somewhere inside, you had the sudden impulse to protect her.


You could feel your grip on your air freshener fade away, letting it plummet onto the pavement.


You didn't care if you’re about to lose your memories, all you wanted now was to calm her down.


You got on your knees and had her wrapped in your arms, squeezing and rocking gently. It’s kind of funny to think you were hugging a pony right now. You’re pretty sure if anyone was here with you they’d have their hearts get torn out, but you didn't care nor do you want to. Suddenly, she went limp. You were worried at first but soon found out she had simply fallen asleep by how her chest was moving inward and outwards.

Then you realized something. It stopped, the flashing finally stopped. You heard the sound of someone approaching you. Opening your eyes, you looked up by your side to see the woman standing over you.

All of a sudden, and strangely enough though, you could feel some of your memories coming back. It’s just that, the only memories you could recall was from you driving on the Californian road until…you hugging Twilight Sparkle. Yup, this was officially the strangest day of your entire life. Well, in retrospect, it was only day you could remember.

“I’m sorry, I wish there was another way” she said sincerely, sadness in her voice. “But it has to be done. We can’t leave any chances here.”

She then pulled out a larger than normal sized flashlight from her belt and pointed it at your face. “I hope you’ll understand.”

You’re not exactly sure what the torch would do to you at this point. It could be another harmless flashlight, but from the eyeball tearing you just experienced earlier, you had an idea what will happen next.

You sighed, “Do it.”

“Don’t worry man, just one quick flash and everything will be back to normal. Now, just relax and say cheese—”

“Just do it already!” She jumped back slightly by your outburst, but regained her composure with little haste. “If you’re going to end a person’s entire recollection of their life, just do it quick and without the ‘Everything will be alright’ nonsense, okay?!” You had no idea why you shouted. Maybe you were tired of this and just want to get it over with or maybe it would buy you some time? Who are you kidding? Those kind of things only happened in movies—

“Wait what? Dude, I’m not going to remove your memories completely!”

You stand corrected.

“I’m just going to wipe this past hour.”

Or not.

“Now hold still, I promise you won’t feel a thing.” She said with a sneer, “Well, except for the teeny-tiny headache.”

You raised an eyebrow.

“Okay fine, I lied. You’re going to have a migraine.”

Oh and don’t forget the complete and total amnesia afterward! This day could only get better and better, you could feel it. Wait, you should probably tell her that you couldn't recall anything except for the past hour before removing your memories.

“Oh, before you do that—”

“Shush!” she quieted you down. She then pressed the side of her headset, attempting to listen to whoever was in the other end of the signal more clearly.


Oh boy.


You didn't like the sound of this.


Not at all!

“Okay, I see.”

You better do something before—

“Well, well, well this is your lucky day, brony!” She placed the flashlight back and pulled out a stun gun instead. “You’re coming with us!”

“Whoa, hold on there!” you frantically said, trying to stop her from doing what you think she was doing. “Don’t do it, please don’t! Don’t— d-don’t tase me, bro! Don’t tase me!”

But it was in vain. She trained the electric shock weapon at you and fired, causing you to feel the power of electricity coursing through your body. You fell onto the pavement and did a little spazzing dance like someone would when they were having a stroke.

And then, just like that, you fell into the empty void that was unconsciousness.

Written by WarKing76

Edited by Silver Page

Author's Note:

Hello ladies and gentlemen, I would like to present to you the U.S Department of SEE!

This is a very ambitious second person past tense story. Yeah that's right, a story about you in past tense! You don't see many of those in Fimfiction. I mean, it's like meeting a magical talking banana in the city of Atlantis on Mars! Come to think of it, that didn't make any sense...

I also like everyone to know that SEE was inspired by Tales Of The Canterlot Deportation Agency: A Typical Day by Estee. You should check it out!

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