Sick Colts and Soda Pop
Loo and Rainbow walked nervously through the white halls of the Eastern Manehatten Childrens Hospital. Loo had been sent a letter by the “make a wish foundation” to appear of a sick little colt, in full boxing gear.
“Rainbow, I,...I,.. don’t know if i can go through with this, I,...mean, i’ve only been fighting for like two months, why would a kid use his last wish to see me!? Shouldn’t he use it to meet Spidermare or something?” Loo reasoned.
Rainbow responded with a look of disappointment,”Loo, kid, he looks up to you, you pulled yourself out of the Manehatten muck and now look at you! you were living on the streets, now you're KOing suckers twice your size, what kid wouldn’t view someone like you has a hero? “
Loo felt a twinge of guilt, then she sucked in a huge breath “Okay, i can do this.”
Loo and Rainbow came upon the room number.
14-5-19
“They number these rooms odd” Loo asked with her glove on the door knob.
“Yea, heard rumors that if you put them to a A=1 code, they spell interesting stuff” Rainbow said intrigued.
Loo put on a brave face and opened the door, the soft sound of Loo’s heart shattering could be heard by only her.
Before her lay a small sickly pale brown colt, asleep. Hooked up to so many machines Loo was sure a fully assembled sedan would appear from the mass any minute and a steady beep of a heart monitor filled the otherwise silent room.
A middle aged brown coated mare with a darker brown mane sat near the colt, holding his hand. When Loo entered she looked up and whispered a greeting to her.
“Oh Thank Goodness you could make it, ever since he read about your fight against, uuuummm dubstep kid i think, hes just been your biggest fan, its funny, about a year ago i bought him one of those “Pontari” video game systems he could never be torn away from it, that is until he found out about you, if fact he even asked me for his own p-p-punching b-b”
The mare broke into a few sobs, Loo noticed her appearance, her mane was bedraggled, and the bags under her eyes riveted Glass shy, and she was only dressed in a raggy bathrobe
She once more than regained herself.
“Bag, when you started appearing on t.v it was the only thing that could tear him away from his video games, he said that when he grows up, he’ll make a video game ab-b-bout y-y-y-you”
the mare once again broke into sobs.
“It’s just, he looks up to you so much, and he’ll be very glad you came”.
The mare leaned over to the sick colt and whispered into his ear.
“Button,....button,..wake up,..someones here to see you button”
Button stirred in his bed, causing the mass of wired and tubes to sway as he woke up.
“Awww mom, *Yawn why did you wake me up?” The colts voice sounded like he had been a smoker, before he was buried for two centuries.
“I had a dream where i didn’t have Gre-” Button stopped mid sentence when he noticed Loo.
“MOM! MOM! its lo-” the colt was stopped mid sentence again to enter a fit of coughing.
Loo’s heart reassembled, them promptly shattered itself a second time.
“Button be careful, you know what the doctor said about getting excited” Buttons moms said while another collection of sobs tried to break through her voice.
“Sorry mom, but it really is you, Little Loo!, I’m your biggest fan, oooH im so glad you could make it, i watched your fight yesterday and and when you punched Screwy out in one go, jus wow!”
Loo faked a smile as her heart shards spontaneously combusted in her chest.
“Well kid, i'm really glad to see i got fans as brave and strong as you kid, and you know what?” Loo leaned close to button’s face.
Button leaned in as well.
“Next Knock out is for you kid” Loo said lifting her right glove, and messing with Buttons mane with her left.
Button giggled as Loo started to feel she should have brought something for the little guy, Loo got and idea and reached into her shorts pocket, good thing there was a arcade in between the hotel and the Equestrian circuit boxing arena.
Loo dug through the collection of junk prizes she had one from the steamshovel game until she found what she had been looking for.
“Here kid, got something for you” Loo pulled a fake black mustache from her pocket and held it up for the young colt.
“OOOOO!! Coooooool!” Button took it and put it on “Hey, Mom how do i look?”
Button’s mom smiled “You look very much like your father button.”
The small group then was rudely interrupted by a team of doctors entering the room.
“Okay i’m sorry but we’ll have to cut this visit short, button is in need of some immediate treatment” a tall brown stallion in a lab coat announced.
Button groaned as Loo got up and faced the doctor with gritted teeth.
“What the BUCK!” Loo whispered “I’ve barely had five minutes with him!”
The stallion raised his hands in defense. “I”m sorry but he needs treatment, now, the foundation has already instructed me to let him watch the fight on television, and thats already against hospital rules.” the doctor started to shove Loo and Rainbow out.
Loo leaned close to the doctor,”Listen, doc, what does he got? will he make it?”
The Doctors expression softened from stern to melancholy.
“The poor colt has Hasbro” the doctor said simply
“Hasbro?” Loo asked
“Yes, Hasbro, its a disease that targets something you love and takes it away, because its a jerk like that.” the doctor explained. “Apparently Little Button Mash here existed without making Hasbro money, so it has to take him away for no rational reason whatsoever”
"I Don't understand" Loo said with tears pushing against the back of her eyes.
"I'm afraid no one does, thats just how Hasbro works, it could have left poor button here alone but it didn't, it just decided to take him away" The Doctor explained
The ashes of Loos hearts shards, shards were vaporised in a sudden atomic blast.
The doctor then shoved both mares outside of the hospital room and shut the door.
Rainbow Checked her watch “Next fight is in a half and hour from now”
Loo Narrowed her eyes “Yeah and its gonna be over 35 minutes from now.“
Loo sat quietly on the bench in her locker room, thinking of Button Mash.
The door squeaked and Loo looked up. Rainbow poked her head in.
“Thinking about mash eh?” Rainbow asked as she approached Loo.
“Yeah” Loo answered. “Well heres that knock out your gonna dedicate to him”
Rainbow handed Loo the next fighters profile.
The fighters name was “Berry Punchinski” She was a massive purple earth pony mare hailing from Moscow,Russia, and WHAT A MARE! she stood 6 feet and 6 inches tall, she had shoulders as wide as a set of train tracks, and she had the the muscle tone of full grown bull, and perhaps most grotesque of all, she had a long Purple mustache hanging from her cheeks. The pictures with the profile depicted her in some sort of soda factory floor surrounded by scientists and silos of soda named Sparkle-cola, In the first she was Punching a heavy bag while knocking back a bottle of soda, in the next she was still punching bag while knocking back three bottles of soda at once, in the last Berry had punched a hole in a sode silo and suckled through it like a nursing baby.
Loo threw up a little in her mouth at the massively well toned, mustachioed mare in the photos.
“What the buck do they put in that Soda?” Loo asked, in reality, she didn't wanna know.
Rainbow and Loo marched out into the arena, pandamonium erupting from the crowd revealed yesterdays as the whole building was happy to see her.
Loo and Rainbow ignored the cheering and the sound of her stats on the loudspeaker and kept marching, because today, a brave little colt was depending on Loo, if she lost, it wouldn't just be her pride that got hurt, or her stats, it would be somepony who didn’t deserve what was happening to him.
Loo Took her corner as Rainbow coached her before her opponent arrived.
“Okay kid, just like king Mac, this mare looks big, but that means hes slow, watch her lumber and look of a opening, got it?” Rainbow said intensely.
Both Loo and Rainbow were taken back by the noise of a reversing truck coming from the other side of the arena, Loo leaned over Rainbow and confirmed that it was in fact a reversing truck.
A small box Truck with the letters “Sparkle-Cola” written on it had backed into the arena and parked next to the ring, the crowd hushed as a rumbling could be heard from inside the back.
The Sheet metal Doors exploded revealing Berry Punchiski, “RRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
YA ustal ot togo, chtoby byt' fonom poni, segodnya, chto izmeneniya!” Berry yelled as she knocked back a bottle of Sparkle-Cola, Loo squinted her eyes, and could have swore the liquid Berry was ingesting was glowing.
Berry let out a large belch and jumped from the back of the truck and into the ring, She was dressed in a very small, red boxing outfit, Berry produced another bottle (from only faust knows where) and began to chug it down.
Loo turned her head to see a team of scientists leave the truck and surround Berry’s corner, and began taking notes and the ref signaled both fighters to the center of the ring.
Berry finished her soda and crumpled the glass bottle against her head.
wait, crumpled glass?
Both fighters met,”Alright keep it clean and come out boxing, bump gloves and wait for the ding.” the ref said and took his side of the ring.
Berry Punchinski was kind enough to bump glove with Loo politely and shamble back waiting for the ding, while she finished another bottle of coarse.
“Ya know, according to every rule of medical science soda pop is the WORST thing for an athlete to drink.” Loo thought to herself.
*Ding
Loo approached Berry, Waiting for her to lumber out and attack and-
Berrys Shot out a left hook so fast loo dodged a blur out of pure instinct.
‘Whoa! What was that?” Loo shouted in her mind.
Berry kept the knocks coming, she delivered an uppercut the shattered loos guard, then finished Loo off with an unstoppable series of uppercuts, Loo hit the canvas ten seconds into the first round.
Loo shook it off and got up before the count of 4.
Berry launched another series of uppercuts, Loo was ready for berrys unimaginable speed and dodged everyone of them, then countered with a series of uppercuts herself.
Berry started to get angry and launched some quick jabs, Loo got hit once, then ducked the rest and once again countered, this time with a volley of body blows.
Berry doubled over and breathed out “Okh, pomogite!” Before Loo delivered an uppercut that
sent Berry crashing to the surface.
As soon as Berry hit the ground a little pale pink pony scurried to the ropes with a glass bottle in her hands, she tipped the bottle over Berry’s mouth, the bottle only had one small drop clinging on the edge of the bottle, which it fell into Berrys open mouth.
As soon as the drop hit the back of Berry’s throat she shot back up and roared, she charged Loo and let loose a deadly volley of uppercuts.
Loo managed to dodge a few, but the last two landed and cause her to stagger back a bit in a daze.
*Ding *Ding
“I thought you said she’d be slow!?” Loo exasperated.
“And i thought she would be! what the buck do they put in that soda?” Rainbow asked.
“I’m sure you don’t want to know” Loo explained taking in gulps of water.
“What ever it is, its probably radioactive” Rainbow said sarcastically.
*Ding *Ding
Loo and Berry approached each other, Berry opened up with a quick right hook.
Loo ducked and gave Berry and one two straight into the gut. Berry recovered and let loose a fury of uppercuts, Loo dodged everyone and shot a powerful uppercut to Berry’s mouth.
“MMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!” Berry screamed as a collection of tiny white objects scattered all over the canvas. Berry over her mouth and continued to squeal in pain.
Loo was confused, Berry scowled and removed her gloves from her mouth, to reveal a mouthful of empty gums.
Loo was taken back in disgust, Lo examined the floor to find that all Berry’s teeth had fallen on the floor.
“MMmm,mMMMM!” Berry yelled as she charged Loo with volley of hooks, Loo dodged each one and stunned Berry.
Loo cocked back a massive uppercut, and she pictured little Button watching the fight, cheering Loo on with his mother as Berry Punchinski hit the canvas from behind that adorable mustache.
Loo let the uppercut fly.
The punch sent Berry flying to the canvas, the ref began to count.
Once again the pale pink filly scurried up to the ropes, bottle in hand and began to tip it above Berry’s mouth.
Loo quickly landed a well aimed kick to one of Berry’s molars that littered the ring.
The tooth sliced through the air and smacked the little filly in the hand causing her to drop the bottle with a pained “Ow!”
The bottle of Sparkle-Cola shattered on the concrete below.
“9,....10, *Ding *Ding KO!” the Ref waved his hands.
The crowd erupted with cheers for Loo’s win, cameras flashed, and news reporters with cameras moved in.
This never happened before, Loo never realized that she was ever on television.
“Hi im Home run with the equestrian sports channel, LITTLE Loo, you in a very short time have come from stranger from the streets to equestria’s little warrior, now that you have beaten Berry Punchinski, you are now only two wins away from the title of equestrias boxing champion! now tell all of equestria, How do you feel?” a tall green stallion took Loo by surprise with his question, Loo soaked in what the stallion had said and snatched his microphone.
“Are you listening equestria? cuz im gonna tell you how i feel, i feel proud, today i met a brave little fan of mine, and i dedicate this win you him, are ya watching out there Button!? this one was all for you kid, all for you!” Loo dropped the mic and walked away as Rainbow wrestled the team of reporters away.
Loo noticed the team of scientists hauling Berry Punches sprawled form back into the soda truck, Loo looked among the piles of empty bottles and thought “What a waste” then her eyes came upon an unopened bottle of Sparkle-Cola.
curiosity got the better of her as she twisted the top off the bottle and gave the soda (which did indeed have a slight glow to it) and experimental taste.
“BLUUUUGGEE!!” Loo spat out the little sip of Sparkle-Cola and threw the bottle on the floor, what kind of flavor for a soda is Carrot?
Loo danced down the hallway with Rainbow in celebration of her recent victory, So much so she didn’t see the secretary wave Rainbow over to the front desk and hand her the phone.
“Come On Rainbow you gotta be stoked on how to took out Berry Punchinski so fast mmmmaaannn tomorrow we got to go down to the hospital and pay butto-” Loo froze when she was Rainbow holding the phone with a downed look on her face.
“Oh no Rainbow, what's wrong!? Loo asked.
“Its button Loo he,....he passed during you fight” Rainbow explained.
“When!?” Loo asked frantically.
“He flatlined sometime during the second round, he never made it to the end” Rainbow answered.
Loo felt like every one of her guts had been ripped out, she fell to her knees a hollow shell and whispered
“Why?,,......why did Hasbro have to take him away from us?”
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Curse you Hasbro for taking Button Mash away from us! You will regret it!
As for Berry Punchinski, go play your pinckel chess game with the devil kami!
(Best redention of the Punch Out! theme in my opinion. Part of the reason why Soda Popinski is my second favorite Punch Out! Wii fighter. (Fun Fact: In the original 1985 arcade game Super Punch Out! he was called Vodka Drunkinski. His name was changed for Mike Tyson's Punch Out to make him less sterotypical and make him family friendly.))
4122927 soda popinski was the most misleading of all Fighters in the history of punch-out
he also is the tallest and weights the most (Besides king hippo possibly but his weight is unknown)
but soda was alway decptivly quick (i think its all the caffine)
also i own a partialy unaltered copy of punch-out for the nes, hes still called soda popinski but some of his dialoge is still alcohol related
such as
"I drink to prepare for a fight, and today i'm very prepared"
or my favorite
"I can't drive, so i'll walk all over you!"
4122965 Yup. And in the NES version Don Flamenco comments into between rounds about Mario being the refree.
4123070 also just to say
soda popinski and aran ryan have some of the most pump inducing themes in video game history
along with the Soldier and the medic from tf2
with soda's can't you just see the soldiers marching to defend stalingrad from the nazis?
and with ryans you just wanna knock one back a headbutt somone
I recognize the reference to the soda. Not gonna say where though. Give others a chance to think about it.
Is this a reference to JanAnimation getting hit by copyright laws?