Champion of Equestria

by Buddy Hooves

Chapter 1: Down the rabbit hole

Beeep Beep Beeep Beep Beeep Beep Beeep Beep Bee-- Click

I groaned as I hit the snooze alarm a few too many times and was late for work once again. Who wouldn't hit the snooze to get another ten minutes of sleep? No one, that's who. Needless to say, I almost always overslept. Stupid snooze button.

I didn't have time for breakfast. Instead, I munched down a pair of chocolate Pop Tarts while waiting for the bus. Mmmm.... chocolate. I loved those things but a nutritionist would have smacked me upside the head for my poor diet choice. As things stood now, I've started to pack a few pounds and was now sporting a little bit of chub.

The bus was, of course, late. You gotta love the Columbus Transit system. Six buses for a population area of a quarter million. When they weren't late, they were early- I'd lost count of the number of times I'd stepped outside only to see my bus disappearing down the street. Schedule? What schedule? When the bus, late again I might add, finally did lumber into sight, I climbed on and sat down.... in gum.

At a nine A.M. meeting (to which I arrived at 9: 25) I found my supervisor at Subway waiting to hit me right between the eyes with bad news: I had been laid off. Not unexpected, seeing how the economy has been in the crapper for well over eight years now. I had started working there after high school, in a mad hope that I could work my way through college. Although my hopes for college was shattered a few years later, I still worked there hoping something else would turned up. I wasn't too upset by the news, but it hurt just the same. Losing a job is the worst. You know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that somebody doesn't want you. Doesn't matter if the reasons are personal, financial, or practical. They just don't want you.

With this cheerful thought, I gathered my belongings, ignored the way my coworkers were avoiding looking at me, and slumpt home. I consoled myself by stopping at Dairy Queen for a chocolate milkshake. Signs of spring: Robins, new grass, new season of American Pickers and Dairy Queen opening for the season.

As I walked through my apartment door, still slurping my shake, I saw my answering machine light winking at me like a small black dragon. The message was from my friend Ben, and from the racket in the background, he was calling from a bar: "Sorry Mark. But I won't be able to make it to your party tonight... I'm sure we'll be able to continue the game next week."

Ben and I had been friends since high school, and after which, we'd always tried to hang out on our days off. Our favorite thing to do was get a group together and play Dungeons & Dragons. It was always something I'd look forward to all week. But lately, we haven't been able to play more and more. It had now been a solid two months since we've been able to play. With the way this week had been It didn't surprise me, and with today's shit storm I suppose it was just as well.

I went into the kitchen to fix myself some microwave burritos, and that's when I noticed I was low on food. That's what I get for putting off going to the store.

As it turned into early evening, the cold air of April blew hard against me. It had been a long day and I didn't feel like going out. The Mall of America is a terrific place, but I've got to be in the mood for overpriced retail merchandise, rowdy weekend crowds, and six-dollar drinks. So I figured I'd cut across the park that was a few blocks from my apartment, and just stop in a local gas-stop for a few things. As things were now, I'd have to watch my spending for awhile as I started looking for a new job. Good thing I was starting to save up for one of the new game systems.

Yep, that's me in a nutshell: Mark Stevens, Single, dead-end job (well, not anymore), lives alone and spends most of my free time playing video games and D&D. Yeah, I'm so dull, my fucking friends keep calling off our hangout plans ever chance they get. Needless to say, I was having a bad day and was NOT in a good mood. I continued to walk through the park, my mind deep in thought, until something shining caught my eye.

Stopping in my tracks, I looked over into the near by bush, and found myself looking at strange looking crystal sticking out of it. I couldn't help but stare it. It was huge! At least big enough to hold onto with two hands. Walking over to the bush, I looked down at it in almost a trance. What do we have here? I thought as bent down to get a better look at it. Where did this come from? I paused to look around to see if anyone else was around before reaching my hand out to grab it. A small smirk crossed my face as grabbed hold of it. It's mine now!

Standing back up straight, I looked my new prize with a hint of hope. If this thing is real, it should be worth quite a bit. Maybe this will help me out until I get back on my feet. I couldn't believe my luck. I was never one of those people to find money just laying around, hell, I was lucky just to find loose change in a vending machine. But there I was, holding a strange crystal in my hand as it shined in the evening sun. I was about to rush back to my apartment to put it in a safe spot, when a strange tingling feeling ran up my arm.

I froze in horror to see the crystal was glowing brightly in my hand. In shock, my hand released the crystal and my eyes widened as it just continued to glow. Hovering in the air in front of me. I was so traumatized by what was happening, that I just stood there with my mouth hanging open. I could feel a strange energy being giving off by the crystal as it glowed, making my arm hair stand on end and my whole body feel warm.

"What the hell is..." was all I had to say before I was hit by a blinding flash of light.

I handled it badly, I admit. When I saw the crystal hovering in the air like that, I froze like a deer in headlights. A big, dumb, brown haired deer who should have bolted as soon as shit got weird. But I couldn't move, not even to save my life.

The flash of light didn't hurt, but I felt a tremendous pressure all over my body. I heard things pop. I felt my skull stretch- it sounded like someone was pouring milk into a bowl of Rice Krispies in my ears. I felt my body go numb, as the blight light continued to blind my vision, even with my eyes closed tight.

The last thing I thought I saw before the light died out, was a figure of a unicorn with a strange horn on it's head. It looked like it's eyes were glowing green as it's mane blew freely in the air. The last thing I heard was a wicked laughter as It continued to stare at me with snake like eyes.

Then everything went dark and numb.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When I woke up my whole body felt strange. My toes and fingers felt dead and swear I felt something wiggling from behind my rear. As I opened my eyes, I saw that it was now night time. However, I was not in the same place I was before. As I raised my head off the ground, I saw that I wasn't in the park anymore but was now smack dab in the middle of some forest.

While I waited for my head to clear, I started looking at my surroundings. The forest I now found myself in was huge, with trees and bushes all around me. It reminded me of the one time me and my uncle Walt went camping, and how scared I was to sleep in the tent with the sounds of wildlife just outside it. I remembered how I didn't get any sleep that night, and ended up with poison ivy all across my arms and legs. After that little misadventure, I never been camping since. That, and the fact that I lived near a big city didn't help to my camping skills.

Now that my head was starting to clear, terror started to creep inside my head. If I don't find a way out of here soon, I'm going to be in real shit! Trying not to freak out about what happened, and trying to ignore that weird feeling between my butt cheeks, I shook my head. As I looked up, I noticed the night sky behind the trees. It was a clear dark blue, almost purple, with thousands of stars spread across it. Like I said before, I'm more used to the city, so the night sky there NEVER looked like this. But this, this sky was beautiful! I stared up at the sky for I don't remember how long, enjoying the seer beauty of it all, before I decided it was time to get off my ass and get out of there.

As I used my arms to push myself up into a sitting position, I once again became aware that I could not feel my fingers or toes. As soon as I was sitting up, I brought my left arm into view and my eyes bulged in shock. Instead of my normal, human hand shaking infront of me.... it was a blue hoof.

"What the hell?!" I shouted as I stared at my now blue colored "Arm". I looked down at the rest of my body to find that my whole body was now covered in the short blue fur. "OH MY GOD! I'VE TURNED INTO A ANIMAL!!"

I tried to calm myself down as I tried to think things out. Okay, let me think. I thought as I looked up into the clear star filled night sky. Okay. So I remember finding that wierd crystal. Then there was that blinding light. And now I find myself in some forest turned into some kind of equine! I concluded as I began to try to stand on my tw....err, four legs. I wanted to believe that it was all just a crazy dream, and that I'd wake up any second. But the breeze against my now blue fur and the hunger in my belly told me that it was no dream. It was all too real.

After standing up, I began to study myself more to see what I was now turned into. I don't think I'm a deer, and I doubt a jackass would be blue... I thought as I turned my head around to look at my body. I then spotted a brown tail, same color as my hair, swaying back and forth. Could I be some kind of blue horse? As I concluded what I now was turned into, I then began to count my blessings. "Well... at least I can still speak!"

With my head still spininng with questions, I figured I should try to figure out where I now was. I started to take a few steps forward, but with my balance thrown off, plus the fact that I now had four legs instead of two, I quickly found myself falling back down on the ground. "Ouch. This is going to be harder then I thought." I grumbled as I slowly picked myself back off the ground.

After trying a few more times, I was able to start walking without falling face first. "Heh. Not so bad once you get used to it." I said to myself as I began to walk deeper into the forest. Now, I'll tell you right now that I never liked the dark. Even after growing up, I still slept better knowing the hall light was on. So needless to say that finding myself alone at night in the middle of some unknown forest had me a little bit on edge. As I continued to walk, I heard the sound of chirping bugs, hooting owls, and howls of wolfs.

But it was when I noticed the sound of those howls getting closer to me, did I freeze in my tracks. shaking with fear, I looked around me, studying the nearby trees and bushes. I heard some growling as I noticed the bushes began rustling and the growling in the bushes were beginning to get closer and closer. It was when something finally emerged did I find myself stunned.

There, staring at me with yellow eyes, was a wolf made of wood. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. It was quite a bit bigger than me, with sharp wooden teeth and claws. It was made mostly of thick timber, sticks and leafs that gave it a solid shape. Timber wolf... I thought to myself as it looked at me with those yellow glowing eyes, growling at me. The thing would have been funny looking, if it wasn't for the fact that it looked like it wanted to eat me.

I was just about to try to think of a way to deal with it, when two more showed up beside it. One of those things would have been enough for me to deal with, even with my new found body. But with three of those things facing me down, I knew I was screwed.

"Oh shit..." was all I said before I turned around and ran in a mad dash for freedom.

I didn't look back, but I knew those things were hot on my heels. I tried not to think about that as I continued to look on ahead, focusing on what was in front of me. I was never really a fast runner. In gym I was always near the last when it came to track. But in my new body I found myself to be quite fast. Not enough to out run those things, but fast enough to stay ahead of them. As long as I didn't trip on something, I'd stay that way.

I ran. I ran as my lungs burned and my heart felt like it was going to burst from my chest. My eyes watered and nostrils burned as I continued to run for my life, my hair and tail flowing behind me. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuuuck! I cursed to myself as I continued to run deeper and deeper into the forest, dodging between tree limbs and thorn bushes. I had to keep running. I had to get away from those creatures.

As I burst past the last few trees and bushes, I saw a small clearing straight ahead. But quickly found myself coming to a dead stop, as I found myself staring over a huge cliff. Looking over, I saw a rapid river flowing far down below me. As I turned around, I found the three wood wolfs there, blocking my only exit. Knowing that I was completely trapped, those things slowly began to advance toward me.

I had no place to go. I found myself with only two options: Jump off the huge cliff and into the river below, or stay and get ripped to shreds by those things. With only a few feet away from me and their hungry mouths, I found myself acting before I had a chance to think. "Oh fuck me!" I shouted as I jump off the cliff and down to the river below. I was falling fast, but it was still a long drop. I had only a few seconds to regret my choice before my body made contact with the cold water of the river.

I felt myself sink like a rock from the force of the fall. I felt my head hit something hard, my vision flashed white. Before everything went black.

Author's Note:

Well, that's it for the first chapter. While the chapter didn't go as I had planned before, I'm glad with how it turned out. I hope ya all like the story so far, I stayed up all night to finish it. I'll try to put another chapter up as soon as I can.

Oh, just to let everyone know, I'll soon be taking time off to play the new South Park game that's coming out. But fear not! I shall try to write more of this story when I'm not playing it.

Comments

[MLPFanForever]

Nice start so far. Interested to see where this is going.

[Salvador Dickens]

huehuehuehue

[musicluvr1974]

It's been almost three months--are you planning on continuing this? Or should I go find another HiE story to read? (Pretty decent start, btw.)

[Morningdude]

OH FUCK MMMMEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.......*spllash* lol it's like a line outta loony tunes. Exept with swears.

[DragoEclipse]

'In another moment down went Alice after it, never once considering how in the world she was to get out again.'

[TGbrony]

Good start, also minor not here

Timber wolf... I thought

he correctly recognized them (something that doesnt exist) for what they are especially condidering irl 'timber wolf' Is a term referring to a breed of wolf

[Lavender Love]

A fellow Minnesotan Brony I see.

[FlutterTwi]

Loved the Alice in wonderland reference

[Titan Commander Sebaste]

Hmm... You have my attention...

[Razzy]

Hmm, nice beginning. Let's see how it develops.