Thaddeus is a normal 18 year old, still living in his parents house, who was at the wrong place at the wrong time, although it didn't necessarily turn out poorly for him.
4826820 The metabolism is real. I've been at my grandma's for the past 2 months for summer break, and we all know how grandma's are, feeding us like there's no tomorrow. Anyway, I haven't gained any weight, which is pretty great, considering I've eaten like, twice my weight in food.
4826835 yeah I know it. Took a summer job working at a lumber mill. Sometimes I have to go out to the landing and clear the debris. Stumps, tree tops, branches. Good thing I'm used to massive physical workloads... sensei would never forgive me if I passed out and showed weakness. he'd make me work even harder if I did. He's like miagi mixed with tsang sung. Minus the sorcery. My grandparents always say I'm too skinny but I'm six five and I weigh two hundred pounds. And when I tell them that they are like "shut up and have a steak."
4827183 ah so people teased you by calling you tiny and tease me by calling me andre the giant. But yeah I just have a bigger frame. I am pretty skinny... I just got tired of all the stick jokes and took my neighbor up on his offer for martial arts training. And steak lots of steak.
4827486 ah everyone in my family is either tall and skinny or short and skinny. Thanks to the black sheep gene I'm able to be the exception. I have a bigger bone structure.
4827740 didn't mean to offend...although now most people (compared to me) are tiny...hmm hence the jokes about fee fi foe fum yadda yadda. Hate it when people say that.
4830118 i'm pretty sure that if this wasn't a comedy story there wouldn't be constant banter between thaddeus and sigma, it's all the sarcasm and such between them that makes this a comedy.
4837458 Ouch. What's a fiction story without useless information? Non-fiction! Did you read Harry Potter? The whole thing is useless information. I'm being semi serious, but mostly joking. But in reality, fiction is just a whole bunch of useless information. Don't mistake this as misunderstanding, I understand very well, I just figured I'd make a joke about it.
4839485 ... You can get Iron from other things too.
If you had said something about Vitamin B12, you would have had a valid point, but you didn't. We can supplement ourselves without meat, however our brain functions drop significantly.
YOU CAN GET IRON FROM CEREAL, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!
However, me being me has left a failsafe for me, myself, and I. So check & mate.
Random fight was random.
[youtube=www.youtube.com/watch?v=DT2X5b0tyDI] I just couldn't help it
4823706 hey, i know you!
4823518
And lo it was decreed that the aforementioned guard would now and forever be known as FUCKNOZZLE the shit kicker. Yay!!!!
4823905 What the hell you doin here!!!!
4825618 reading this awesome story. the real question is. what is the rest of FiMFiction.net NOT doing on here?
4825630 I have no DAMN clue!!!!!
Damn guys. You make me so happy. Damn it. Glad you guys enjoyed it!
4824475 Excellent.
4823518 Aren't they all?
4825630 Being busy reading better, longer stories.
4825715 well they're seriously missing out
4825876 If that's what you're claiming. Thank ya kindly.
After looking around the FAQ again, I realized I Mary Sue'd this character. Fuck.
4825707 seriously everyone should call him that now. Like, use it as his name. Forever.
4826625 He shall be dubbed fucknozzle the shitlord.
4826659 Huzzah!!! Also yay!
4826777 How goes it?
4826783 pretty good. Just ate three foot long subs so really good actually. God I love my metabolism...
4826820 The metabolism is real. I've been at my grandma's for the past 2 months for summer break, and we all know how grandma's are, feeding us like there's no tomorrow. Anyway, I haven't gained any weight, which is pretty great, considering I've eaten like, twice my weight in food.
4826835 yeah I know it. Took a summer job working at a lumber mill. Sometimes I have to go out to the landing and clear the debris. Stumps, tree tops, branches. Good thing I'm used to massive physical workloads... sensei would never forgive me if I passed out and showed weakness. he'd make me work even harder if I did. He's like miagi mixed with tsang sung. Minus the sorcery. My grandparents always say I'm too skinny but I'm six five and I weigh two hundred pounds. And when I tell them that they are like "shut up and have a steak."
4826936 Oh. I weigh 130, and I'm 5'8-9"
4827183 ah so people teased you by calling you tiny and tease me by calling me andre the giant. But yeah I just have a bigger frame. I am pretty skinny... I just got tired of all the stick jokes and took my neighbor up on his offer for martial arts training. And steak lots of steak.
4827478 Nobody calls me tiny. I'm not Tiny. The rest of my family is though.
4827486 ah everyone in my family is either tall and skinny or short and skinny. Thanks to the black sheep gene I'm able to be the exception. I have a bigger bone structure.
4827733 Fair enough.
4827740 didn't mean to offend...although now most people (compared to me) are tiny...hmm hence the jokes about fee fi foe fum yadda yadda. Hate it when people say that.
4827767 Fair enough.
4821295
4823706
4825630
Do you guys think this is a comedy story?
4830118 i'm pretty sure that if this wasn't a comedy story there wouldn't be constant banter between thaddeus and sigma, it's all the sarcasm and such between them that makes this a comedy.
4830278 Okey doki loki.
4837458 Ouch. What's a fiction story without useless information? Non-fiction! Did you read Harry Potter? The whole thing is useless information. I'm being semi serious, but mostly joking. But in reality, fiction is just a whole bunch of useless information. Don't mistake this as misunderstanding, I understand very well, I just figured I'd make a joke about it.
4839485 ... You can get Iron from other things too.
If you had said something about Vitamin B12, you would have had a valid point, but you didn't. We can supplement ourselves without meat, however our brain functions drop significantly.
YOU CAN GET IRON FROM CEREAL, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!
However, me being me has left a failsafe for me, myself, and I. So check & mate.
4859128 Whoa, wait a sec. Might've gotten that Bioshock one wrong. Don't worry your pretty little head about that one.
4863510 Okey dokey lokey.
4863514
Hmm, I am interested.
idk but i think Celestia is pissed... or there could be some sort of guard on the door... like magical
4972794 I am neither confirming nor denying your hypothesis.
4976114 Haha all right :D
4823518 Of course random fight was random.