The League of Humanity.

by Ssendam the Masked

BE A MAN!

Tobi and Yoshimitsu waved the intrepid party of dragon killers off and on their way. After drawing lots as to who would have the honour of killing the dragon, it was decided that Darth Vulcan would go, with the Sisters Grim, the Fat Friar and Dullahan as backup. Then again, if a dragon required an inanimate suit of armour with a lightning sword, a man with an incredibly powerful magical artifact, and two crazy women with bizarre magical powers to beat the everliving shit out of it, then it wasn't worth their time.

Malideus, Nick, U'zhuhl and the Choten looked at their fellow humans. Neither of them seemed particularly sane... or rational. Tobi and Yoshimitsu turned to them. "Oh, hey, Malideus. What magical asskicking powers do you have?"

Malideus started to sweat. "Um, I have none."

Mizzi (as the others knew her) pulled at his arm. "Well, I'll have to take you to meet my uncle, since we have mated. He might even give you magic if he's in a good enough mood! Plus, I think that I might need sexy time later."

"Ew." the other four humans chorused. Malideus had the dignity to look ashamed with himself (as far as they could tell from his drooping shoulders.)

As he left, being pulled along by an enthusiastic Mizzy, Tobi turned to Yoshimitsu. "Sempai, how long do you give him without any magic with that attitude?"

Yoshimitsu ran a hand over his jaw. "I give him maybe five minutes, then he pleads for his life from Purple Smart."

"Sempai?"

"Yes?"

"I think we should give him chakra power."

Yoshimitsu nodded. "He's a liability otherwise. We'd better practice on Keith."

Keith backed away, holding his hands out in front of him. "Whoa, hey, hold on-"

Yoshimitsu grabbed him and pinned him to the floor without ceremony. Tree roots sprouted, holding him tight. Yoshimitsu stroked his face. "Ssh."

He then turned around. "Alright, we need a dozen eggs, a watermelon or apples, donuts, and whipped cream."

Tobi saluted. "Aye aye, sir!" With a distorting whirl around his eyehole, he disappeared for parts unknown. The Choten watched Keith struggle. "Hey, Choten, help me!"

The Choten shook his head. "I'm good, thanks. Besides, I've got my own summoning powers."
The ring on his finger pulsed in agreement. Compared to its other host, this one was quite stable. It was working on strengthening its connection without killing or having its host killed, and these other beings would serve as fine meatshields should conflict arise. The barrier between worlds was fractured and fragile, and these other beings would only worsen the situation.

Canterlot Gardens.

Meanwhile, Jack of Blades was having a fine day- he'd retrieved his mask, put the power of the Alicorn Amulet into it, and there were some eviscerated guards lying strewn all over the gardens he was in. Life was good.

Jack looked at the other shattered statues around him. "So, the other guys got out already, huh. Well," here he broke into a vicious grin beneath his mask, "time to pay them a visit."

Corvo's Organisations' headquarters, Canterlot

Corvo looked over his rather dilipated organisation. "Alright, so does anypony here know anything about the Fat Friar?"

One mare shakily raised a hoof. "Um, he's fat?" There was a titter of nervous laughter at that.

Corvo massaged his temples. "Aside from that, I meant. What are his powers, that sort of thing."

Another one stepped forwards. "Well, he did have some pretty powerful elemental spells. And he did have a staff."

"Okay, that's good. So, most of those in the statues didn't mean much harm, but there might be those who want it. Jack of Blades, in particular, is exceedingly dangerous. I'll have to meet with my fellow humans, This organisation will stay out of it until I give the all-okay."

"Understood, sir!" They chorused, fervour evident in every syllable. Corvo smiled behind his mask. They'd served him faithfully, even telling him about this human. Still, if it came right down to it, he wasn't sure that he would be able to kill Jack when the time came. Bastard was tough, after all.

Mizzeletta's Cave, Everfree Forest

Malideus looked at the huge Nicol Bolas in awe... and more than a little bit of fear.
Oh God I'm going to die.
"So, what kind of wizard are you?"

He wracked his brains. "Um... I'm an earth magician?" Nicol snorted.

"Earth is hard, unyielding. You're not a real one. Go to the two idiots; they will teach you how to be a real Earth user. Until then," here he tapped Malideus' head, "I strongly advise you to never leave my niece. It wouldn't be healthy for you."

"U-understood."

As Mizzy hugged him tightly, all he could think was, I have to talk with those two idiots?

The cave of the Green Dragon

Darth Vulcan looked over his compatriots. "Alright, who knows anything about dragons?"

Solaire shrugged. "I only know that you have to cut their tails off to gain the power."

Darth Vulcan ignored that advice. "Anything else?"

"Pretty goddamn big. AND they can breath fire. Plus, they're practically immune to all forms of magic and fire. They bathe in lava."

"...damn, and here I was thinking that this world was all made up of fucking pushovers."

The Fat Friar chuckled. "Oh, this world's got its own nasties. Just because it looks like Eden doesn't mean that there aren't any snakes."

Solaire raised his staff, black crystals forming on the end. "Regardless! One Humanity crystal shall make this much easier to deal with!"

Darth Vulcan shook his head. "No, it isn't epic enough. Instead, let's let Dullahan beat it up, and we'll provide backup if necessary."
"It would be so much easier to simply use the Humanity."

Just then, three mangy dog-like creatures popped their heads up. "Weird creatures have shinies!" As one man...dog...thing, they pounced, intent on acquiring shinies.

The ensuing battle lasted all of five seconds. Darth Vulcan slammed their heads together. "Right, you're our minions now. Got that?"

Dullahan waved his hands. Whoa, hold up, we got a badass over here!

"Overused meme is bad, and you should feel bad. Now then," here he turned to their new 'minions,' "Here's what I want you to do. You go back with the Fat Friar, meet the rest of our group. You serve all of us now. We'll kill the dragon here."

The tallest, bulkiest dog shakily raised a paw. "Is New Alpha saying that he will fight dragon? IS good! Alpha get more minions that way!" With that, they scampered off, Fat Friar leading them enthusiastically.

Darth Vulcan watched them go off. "Well, alright then. Now, we have a dragon to kill."

With that, they charged in, with a mighty roar, awaiting their destinies.

The huge dragon lying around looked up disinterestedly. It then got slammed with a fireball roughly the size of a house. As it blinked off the sheer shock that somebody had actually tried to burn it, it was hit with an arc of lightning. Its eyes focused on the suit of armour that had escaped it, now striking it with lightning. With a deep breath, it inhaled fire and spat it out. Another creature swung its stick at the dragon's head, which it barely felt.

All they were doing was being annoying. Before it could even open its mouth, it was shanked in the head. The other humans looked up at the new arrival, a man in a hood and a white mask.
"Hello, fellow humans."

Everfree Castle
"Sempai, I got the goods." Tobi also held up a rather battered grey toy with blue and white polka-dotted pants. "Also got this."
Yoshimitsu nodded, having already stripped down to his boxer shorts and mask. "Alright, Tobi. let's do this thing."
Keith, still tied down, watched his captors come up with some bizarre ritual to torment him. First, Yoshimitsu cut the watermelons open, and squidged his hand around the inside, pulping the fruit. Tobi did the same thing. Then, they smashed eggs on Keith.
"What the hell are you fuckers doing? Stop that!" He struggled even more while Tobi and Yoshimitsu chucked eggs at themselves. Eventually, Yoshimitsu laid a hand on Keith's forehead. "And now, I give you... CHAKRA POWER!"

Yoshimitsu roared a mighty roar and Keith screamed as the power flowed from Yoshimitsu's arm into his skull, lighting his brain on fire. He struggled for a brief time, then subsided. Yoshimitsu checked him over. "Well, I can't believe that worked."
U'zhuhl stared at them in disbelief. "Wait, you weren't even sure if that would work?"
Yoshimitsu shrugged. "it might have killed him, or turned him into a frog, or who knows what else? It works now, so we'll have to give our love and chakra power to everybody now. Except for you, big guy. You healing crazy fast."

Author's Note:

This is as much as I could do before I realised what kind of task I was doing. Though I dislike doing so, I have to cancel it. This fic is like pushing a boulder up a hill. It was fun while it lasted.

Comments

[Ruby Rose]

You know what they say. Put the sick dog down.
Sad but true.

[Zman537]

??? Not sure what just read. But glad to see it's up still.

[rikusorasephiroth]

Such a pity, but if it ha to be done, it has to be done.

[JBGrim]

Eh, Is alright. Almost forgot this existed anyway

[JarOfHearts]

just make sure you go out with a bang!

[Sgt GobSmacker]

This finally updated! Huzzah!

[Rhodesm96]

I was excited to see that this had updated. I was sad to see it'll be cancelled.
Meh, if you don't think it's worth it, no-one's forcing you to write it. Your choice is your own.

[Sgt GobSmacker]

And it's cancelled... what a way to killjoy...

[Dragonlover553]

So wait, did Bolas give Malideus magic or not?

[catfire13]

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