• Published 16th Feb 2014
  • 3,960 Views, 225 Comments

The League of Humanity. - Ssendam the Masked

A mass crossover of the League of Humans acting Villainous. Rather than being sent to separate Equestrias, the villains are sent to one. How will events play out with sixteen villains all in one place?

  • ...

More of them are coming, it seems.

The South Pole.

Tobi looked around the flat piece of ice that they'd teleported to.
"Solaire-kohai, this isn't the Everfree Forest." Solaire sighed in irritation.
"I know." Tobi nodded. A pause. Then:
"Solaire kohai?"
"There are penguins all around us." Solaire glanced around. They were, indeed, surrounded by penguins. He looked at his staff.
"Alright, you," here he looked at his staff with a menacing glare, "this ain't the Everfree. Where the hell are we?" The staff glowed yellow. Tobi and Yoshimitsu exchange a glance and shrugged as he continued to talk to his staff.
"What do you mean I didn't specify the Everfree?" A blue pulse of colour. "...Okay, I might not have really, but my point still counts." A red glow this time. Yoshimitsu just face palmed at the man who was hurling abuse at a piece of glass.
"OH YOU FUCKMUPPET!" One of the penguins waddling by squawked indignantly. Solaire waved a hand. "Sorry, my good fellow!" The penguin appeared to be satisfied with that answer, squawking appreciatively and waddling on. Solaire stared after it.
"...did I just talk to a penguin?"
"Yes, Solaire-kohai. Now, I think you should probably get some sleep." Solaire glared at his travelling companions.
"This is your fault, somehow, I know it! You're driving me crazy by talking to me." The knight backed away slightly. "You're contaminating my ideas!" Tobi just sighed, and Yoshimitsu chimed in with his sage wisdom.
"Solaire, maybe we should teleport back into the Everfree, how about that?" Solaire nodded.
"I guess you're right. Now, EVERFREE FOREST!" With that, he slammed his staff down, and the party of three was enveloped in a bright yellow light.

Everfree Forest.

Keith trudged through the forest, cursing all the while. He'd had to scare off that little purple lizard thing, and he'd terrified the populace, but it was worth it for the information contained in these books. Keith sat down, catching his breath, frying pan at the ready for anything. If what these books said was true, magic was possible. He opened the first book, a history book-
With a bright yellow flash, three humans suddenly appeared in the clearing with him. He fell over backwards in shock. Then, he picked himself back up, frying pan at the ready. The one in the orange mask saw him.
"Solaire-kohai! I found another human!" Keith's eyebrow cocked up. Another human? The knight, who he only just realised had a sun emblazoned on his tabard, stepped forwards, hand outstretched.
"Greetings, traveller. My name is Solaire of Astoria. May we engage in jolly co-operation together." Keith paused, then shook the guys hand warily. Nut or not, this guy could do magic.
"My name's Keith..."
"Keith? Interesting name. This," here he gestured to the orange-masked one, "is Tobi. The other guy," this time pointing to the demonic looking man with armour and a glowing katana, "is Yoshimitsu. We would be honoured to have one such as yourself accompany us."
"Uh, okay."

They'd been walking for about two hours. Keith watched apprehensively as Solaire just burnt his way through the forest with spectral blue-green flames. It seemed as if it was his staff that was magical, not the man himself. The others seemed to have a different magic; Tobi just seemed to phase through rocks, while Yoshimitsu cut through them like butter with that sword of his.
"So, how do you do magic, then?" Tobi grinned.
"Look into my eyehole." He did, seeing a red eye with what looked like three commas surrounding the pupil.
"Behold, the Sharingan, the Copy-Wheel Eye. If I wanted to, I could cause you to suffer illusions simply from eye contact. But I don't." Keith shuddered. Terrifying. Tobi stared for a second, then looked away.
"Ah, but the change came from this little fellow here!" He waved his left hand, indicating the glowing purple ring. Keith sagged. It seemed as if no human could do magic of any sort without an artefact."Do you know of any artefacts around here?" Before Tobi could answer the question, a gout of brown water splashed across the flames of Solaire, extinguishing them. Solaire seemed startled.
"You know, you really should be more considerate of the other denizens living here, good sir knight." The voice sounded kindly, but also extremely annoyed.

Out of the shadows stepped a human, pretty fat and wearing a brown robe and cowl. He swept it back, revealing a plump round face with brown, straight hair. His head was shaved with a monk's tonsure, and he wore a half smile on his lips and a step skullcap on his bald patch. In his right hand, he carried a wooden staff, with painted blue and orange designs along its length, and in his left, a shield with a lion's roaring face. Solaire looked at him curiously.
"What is a friar doing out in these woods?"
"I am merely trying to help people in the world, sir knight." Keith looked at him. It was the staff that did magic, he knew it was. He'd never seen anything like it, though. He leafed through one of his books, trying to find what it was. Solaire and the friar continued talking.
"Well, I hope that we can engage in some jolly co-operation." The friar smiled congenially.
"Excellent. I don't feel like telling you my name, but people know me here as the Fat Friar." He chuckled, slapping his gut. "It is not a title that I haven't earned." Keith finally found what he was looking for- The Staff of Balance. He gulped.

The Staff apparently granted its wielder nigh unstoppable elemental magic- each of the four classical elements bowed to it. Fire, Water, Earth, Air- each was controlled by the staff. No wonder the Fat Friar was so relaxed; with a staff like that, it would be very difficult for any opponent to withstand his onslaught. He didn't recognise the shield though- that was interesting. The Friar beckoned.
"Come hither, and I'll take you to my camp."

As they walked with him, Yoshimitsu struck up a conversation with the Fat Friar.
"What brings you all the way out here, Friar?" He chuckled.
"I got drunk at a costume party, and when I woke up, I was here in the forest. A zebra called Zecora gave me directions to the nearest town. Don't go there; it's sickeningly sweet. After that, I got my staff from a pawn shop, and then travelled the world." He stopped talking for a moment, and Solaire noticed his slowing pace. "For all their talk of equality, it's anything but. So I helped out beggars, gave them food and money. Then, I thought bigger. I broke into banks and stole the proceeds, gave them to the beggars and poor. I formed a band of ponies; the Everfree Merry Ponies, we were called. We could do larger scale operations with that pony power. But alas, no longer." He seemed down.
"What happened?" He looked at the group, and Keith stopped thinking about magic for a second when he saw the look in the Friar's eye.
"The Guard happened." He had stopped entirely by this point, but they didn't care. "It happened suddenly. We were raided unexpectedly. Most of them were imprisoned; I escaped with a few. They said that they didn't want to suffer that again." He shook his head. "I don't begrudge them their choice. I understand their situation; family, friends, we all have something we love more than anything. Now," and here he started walking again, "it is just me in this forest. I think that I have some tea, so we can talk over the camp fire." The group of humans nodded.

Canterlot Mountain Range.

Invention pulled the emergency brake and jumped off, walking towards his hideout. It had been a thousand and five hundred years since he'd been here, and he was in need of a serious clean up. Walking through the cave, he thought about his 'friends,' for want of a better word. He'd talked with them for over a thousand years, trying to stave off madness. It didn't work; he'd gone murderously insane for about a decade, then snapped back to sanity. None of his fellow humans were exactly the most stable of individua-

A hand grabbed him from the darkness and pulled him towards the wall.
"Okay, Mister Steampunk, who the hell are you?" It was a girl! He'd not seen one since the Sisters Grim! He struggled with the hand on his arm, but a life of not fighting people up close had dulled his muscles. Plus, he'd been in stone for one and a half thousand years, and still felt a bit of stiffness in his joints.
"Get off me and reveal yourself!" Boris flashed green in agreement. She sighed.
"Promise not to scream or anything?"
"I promise." She stepped out, and he suppressed the shriek. What was in front of him was only vaguely humanoid.

Her skin was dark grey, not a natural shade. As he looked, she grinned, revealing a mouth with two rows of sharp teeth, and a longish tongue. Glowing white eyes and straggly, almost floating black hair completed the whole picture. She grinned, exhaling a black mist from her void-like mouth. Invention struggled for composure.
"Well, I wasn't, ah, expecting anything like that in these tunnels." She stuck out a hand. "Call me Abyss. It's as good a name as any other name." She looked around.
"It's nice to meet a fellow human being." Invention spluttered in surprise.
"YOU'RE human?" It had come out a bit wrong. She looked at herself.
"Yes, I'm a fucking human; I just don't look like one right at this moment in time." Invention composed himself; he was being terribly rude, after all.
"Well, I suppose I can take you to my house. Please, follow me. It isn't far." He walked off, trying to remember. After a moments' hesitation, she followed.

"So what's your name, then?"
"Well, I am called Invention; it's as good a name as any."
"Hey, don't be all- oh wait, that was my own shitty reason," it dawned on Abyss that her guide seemed more than a bit odd.
"So what do you do here, in mountains?" For an answer, he walked to a door in the wall, made of burnished copper. He dislodged a stone on the ground, and pulled the lever within.
"Oh, I invent things." He opened it.
"Care to come inside?"


Dullahan tromped through the burning gardens with his two companions. They'd introduced themselves as Elizabeth and Victoria Grim; they wore clothing that was both similar and different. Victoria wore a tight shirt and trousers with a scarf hiding her lower jaw, while Elizabeth wore a jacket and a free scarf. She was the only one with a weapon- a short knife. Her sister had said that she remembered using a bow.

Then again, with their powers, they didn't need weaponry much; he still remembered the screams of the guards as the ash beast tore through them, only to silence them with a bite, and the fires which Elizabeth'd used to burn down the statue garden. The darkness that spread from Victoria, choking any guard she lay eyes on and throwing them into walls. Whenever they used their powers, their right and left eyes, respectively, glowed a brighter green. He resolved to keep an eye out for them.

Still, they were plenty afraid of him. He couldn't blame them; he was, after all, a gigantic suit of animated blue armour, a greenish-blue flame replacing his head. A long red cloak billowed out behind him, and he wielded a giant sword in his right hand. He chuckled mentally. Then he sighed; he was still missing some of his power. His Djinn weren't found anywhere here, and his shield was somewhere else. He would find them, though; he could wait.

A shooting star shot overhead, and he watched it impassively. The Sisters Grim looked up.
"Did you make a wish?"
"Yes, I did." He looked between them. Such devotion to each other... but daylight was fading.
"I don't want to seem rude, but we should probably get moving." With that, they continued through the city.
"Humans..." The voice sounded kind of low, and deep as well. Dullahan spun, sword at the ready.
"It's alright, I just want to talk with you. Can I come out now?" Dullahan watched as a man came out. He wore a black suit and white shirt, with a white gauntlet with glowing blue lights on his right hand, and a strange ring on his left.
"What manner of human are you?" In response, he chuckled.
"I could ask you the same thing." Dullahan tilted his body forwards.
"That is true. However, we are rather lost. Would you mind accompanying us on our journey? We have no real destination, but hopefully you won't mind." The blond man mulled it over, tapping his chin. At last, he came to a decision.
"I shall go with you. I don't have anything else to do with my life." Dullahan nodded.
"May we have a name?" Their new companion nodded.
"Call me The Choten."

Everfree Forest border.

"Uuugh..." Chris moaned blearily, hangover apparent.
"Where am I?" He looked around; he seemed to be in a fairy tale forest. "Weird shit."
"Ow..." He froze at the voice that came beneath him. He looked down.
It was a dude dressed as a totally metal Darth Vader. Whoever this guy was, he'd done an incredible job on his costume- he'd attached horns to the helmet, wore a really torn up cape, and added skulls to practically everything. A badass amulet was riveted to the whole assemblage, and the eyes glowed a menacing red colour. He still seemed to be asleep. Chris decided not to wake his companion, instead, choosing to scramble away.
"Shit shit shit shit shit shit..." He checked himself, still muttering 'shit' all the time. Once he'd ascertained that he hadn't screwed the guy beneath him, he scrambled away, desperate to go somewhere, ANYWHERE, from the guy he'd fallen asleep on.

Once he'd cleared the forest, he looked out at a small, idyllic village.
"The fuck?!" He stormed over. Ponies. Little colourful horses. He repeated the expression louder, and they heard. They stopped and stared at him. He glared back. "Oh, fuck. This is all a dream, isn't it. Well, fuck you dream."
"That's horribly rude, you know." He turned around, to find a purple unicorn standing behind him.
"Okay, enough, you creepy brony fucktard. Get out of the fur suit. It's good, but it's just fucking weird. I am still hungover, and I don't want to deal with you." She raised an eyebrow and retreated.
"E-excuse me? I'm real." In response, Chris pimp slapped her with the back of his gauntlet, discovering two things; firstly, his gauntlets were now made of metal, and two, this was a real cartoon horse. He stared, before the hatred and rage within him started to bubble up.
"Ow! Why would you do that?" He paused, then grinned as a wild idea took hold in his mind.
"Because I am the dark sorcerer, MALIDEUS! I have roamed the multiverse, and I have conquered universes far greater than your own! So wake in fear of my greatness, worm!" She got up, and her horn flared. The newly christened Malideus reached into his pocket, feeling it... then flung it into those large eyes of hers. She screamed as the grains flew into her eyes, dropping to try and wipe them out.
"POCKET SAND, BITCH!" With those parting words, he ran for the treelike, intent on running away. An orange normal pony tried to get in his way, but he clobbered her with his staff and kept running like a boss. When he reached the woods, he kept running, but unfortunately, he tripped over the other guy, who sat up.
"WHAT THE FUCK, MAN?" The other man roared this in a voice that sounded like it had been dunked in molten sulphur for days on end. Malideus screamed like a bitch manly man, scuttling backwards as Darth Vader got up.
"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry to disturb you!"

Ted looked at the guy cowering over there. He wore a long, black robe, with a badass helmet covered in spikes. Pimping metal gauntlets completed the whole assembly. Yet the guy was cowering for his life.
"Relax, man. Chill." He recovered.
"Yeah, I'm sorry about that. It's just... well, there're ponies in the town near here." Ted raised an eyebrow behind his helmet.
"Fuck, really? I've gotta see this." Ted decided to move, but the other guy grabbed his hand.
"Don't check it out; I pimp slapped one of them, and they're after me." Ted felt confused by that statement.
"Wait what?" Evil sorcerer sighed.
"Yeah, I thought it was one of those brony fucktards-"
"You hate them as well?" The other guy relaxed a bit.
"Yeah! They're weirdoes. I mean, they draw porn of cartoon horses. PORN! That's so fucked up, man." Ted nodded. The other guy stuck out a hand. "Name's Malideus. I thought it was a cool name." Ted mulled over what his name should be. He then grinned wickedly behind his mask as he thought of the perfect one.
"Call me... Darth Vulcan." With that handshake came a beautiful friendship.

Author's Note: