The Welcoming of Kiwi Blitz pt 3
“Make sure you watch your step, Kiwi!” Twilight called over her shoulder.
“No problem! I'll be just fine, thanks,' I responded to her from behind.
We were currently making our way down a dark and dusty set of stairs leading to the library's basement. I couldn't help but wonder why these rickety old planks of wood were so dirty?I mean isn't Spike supposed to keep things all spic and span around here? What gives, man? The little purple lizard was losing his touch, as far as I was concerned. A real man makes sure that his duties are fulfilled, no matter what. It goes without saying, really.
Though, then again, the poor guy probably puts up with quite a lot of crap on a regular basis, from what I've seen on the show. I guess I couldn't fault him for getting tired or missing somethings here and there. Everyone needs to take it easy now and again, or they burn out. Right, so I'm giving the little guy a pass on the gunk my poor green hooves have to slip on. It's not up to me to be so judgmental or getting on him for not cleaning something. Seems like he has it rough enough as it is and could probably use a little bro support.
Right, cool.
Anyway, after we managed to lure Pinkie Pie out of hiding, and after she stopped crushing me in a hug that made my wings do questionable things, I gave her the 411. I told her how I wanted to meet every pony else among their friends and also thought it'd be nice to spend some time with my (technically new) big sister and I figured she new how to find them. Turns out I was right, she said something about how she could use of Pinkie Sense like a Friend-dar, that being a 'Friend radar', and new where all her friends where at any given time. Okay, so I ignored how disconcerting the idea that if you wanted to get away from Pinkie you couldn't was, and decided to issue out her orders. After giving her the mission of rounding up the Mane Six and bringing them back to the snack bowl for us to regroup, the cotton candy-maned party mare adjusted her camo helmet, gave a stiff salute, and through a smoke bomb at her hooves, vanishing into the crowd.
Alright, I have to say I was thoroughly entertained by her antics and made a note to spend a day with Pinkie Pie sometime in the future. I had always wondered about the impossible powers she held, and made it a goal to try and see how many I could witness. Dear god, what would happen if Pinkie Pie ever donned the Mask from that one Jim Carrey movie!!!?
...probably nothing, now that I think about it. I mean, she already has all those powers in the first place, I can't imagine much changing if she put it on.
Huh, okay, false alarm.
Anyway, after Pinkie went all “NINJAH VANEESH!” on us, Twilight realized that with my method of having drawn the pink one out in the open has left us without a bowl of punch. And so here we were, delving into the depths of the 'treebrary' to grab some bottles of juice to bring up and make some more punch. We had first went to the kitchen to see if there was any there, but to no avail. Luckily, Twilight remembered there was some sparkling juice and lemonade in the basement left over from New Luna's Eve, and should still be good. I figured it would make a decent punch, as far as I knew about it, so I went to help her.
“It's really dusty down here...' I couldn't help but comment, considering I could see my own hoofprints on the stairs as we descend. “I thought I heard you had science-y stuff and machines down here?” I'm not sure if it's common knowledge or not to know about Twilight's machines and stuff, but I am betting that I could get away with explaining that I heard it from Rainbow Dash if any questions come up.
Twilight shook her head, smiling. “ Well, my 'science-y stuff and machines' are indeed down here, I just haven't had much of a chance to utilize them in a while.' she said. I could hear the good humor in her voice as she quoted me. “It's just been one thing after another ever since I became a princess... I'm still not really sure how to feel about the whole thing, but I've been doing my best with what I've been given. You came at a good time, Kiwi, we've actually been in a bit of a lull around here for a little bit. If you came a few weeks ago, I'm not sure if you'd have got that great of an impression of Ponyville....' She shuddered slightly and muttered something about black vines to herself, obviously not for me to hear, but I did anyway.
Alright, so it's been several weeks since the Season 4 premiere? That certainly gives me a sense of timeline and where I might be in it, but if that's true shouldn't it already be past the Summer Sun Celebration? That might be something to keep in mind... My appearance might have thrown the timeline out of whack. Heck, maybe I'm not even in the “Mane Timeline”, and maybe some events of that season will be different or not even happen....
Oh jeez, maybe past events haven't happened either! I hope not, because I really wouldn't want something from a past I don't recognize to resurface. Like, a some previously thought resolved storyline returning to come and bite us in the plot.
A plot biting plot, perhaps?
Nah, it's funny, but cheesy too.
“Well, whatever. I'm just happy to be here with everb-everypony. I've wanted to meet you guys for a long time, and I'm looking forward to spending sometime with Rainbow Dash...' I said, a little nervously. It was a strange feeling to be admitting something like that aloud, and to the very once-fictional characters I had fantasized about meeting. Huh, there must be a boiler or a furnace down here. That would explain the heat in my face.
Twilight giggled a bit and turned to smile warmly at me once she reached the bottom of the steps. Those eyes conveyed so much to me, they were so expressive and deep, indigo pools of friendship and comfort. I am not too proud to say my heart raced like a school girl and my insides had the warm-fuzzies when she stared into my malachite windows to my soul.
“We're very happy to have you hear, too,' she said. “And I know Rainbow Dash is excited to spend time with you as well. We all are, and you're always welcome to stop by whenever you want.”
Oh wow, that was....and she meant it too. All the feels? All the feels.
“Gee....uh, thank you, Twilight. That means a lot to hear you say that.' I managed to respond, my overly large wings shifting with nervous, yet joyous energy. I blow my emerald bangs out of my eyes and matched her warm expression as I stepped off the last of the stairs and joined her in the basement.
“You're welcome, Kiwi.” the lavender alicorn said simply and turned to area before us.
Feeling pretty good about everything now, I brought my attention to the large room about us. The stairs we had climbed down had curved downwards as he hugged the wall, allowing the basement itself to be rather large and spacious. I looked about at the old-style machinery to one side of the basement, grinning as I saw loud of cables and vacuum tubes and I'm pretty sure there was one or two Tesla coils hidden behind some manner of computer device. To the right of the heavy devices was a large wooden table with all manner of test tubes and vials filled with chemicals laid out on it. I spotted a Bunsen burner and a microscope with slides and petri dishes about it. On the right side of the room were additional bookcases and boxes of of dusty looking tomes. One box I noticed was dedicated to scrolls, with a broken seal on them. Interesting, I guess that's where the letters from Celestia would go?
Twilight trotted over to that side of the room, and I followed close behind her... But not for that reason. Perv.
"Hmm, I last remember telling Spike to put those bottles down here somewhere...' she mused thoughtfully.
I wandered about the area, just looking around at nothing in particular. I figured Twilight knew what she was doing, and to be honest my organizational skills left so much to be desired, they sort of blended into other aspects of my abilities, such as searching for something. I remember misplacing my car keys one afternoon and I ended up tearing my apartment to pieces like somebody had dropped a bomb on it, only to find they were in my pocket where I had left them...though in my defense, that pair of jeans had big pockets. It was totally possible to miss an object in there....even if they were the only things in the pocket....and I had looked twice already before that.
Shut up.
While Twilight dug around the clutter of boxes and books with her telekinesis, I took to the bookcases themselves with interest. All the books shelved away here were big, thick hardcover literature of various types. The titles of the books were engraved into the thick covers and painted with gold and silver lettering, though it was hard to read what they said through the thick layer of dust coating them. With a flash of inspiration, a smug grin found itself upon my cute little face as I reached out with my big old wings and gentle brushed them. Aw yeah, built in feathdusters, baby! I took a strange amount of relief in the fact that if I couldn't get a decent job in the future, I could always get a gig as a maid.
Hm, do they have French maid outfits in Equestria? I don't know if I'm fearful of them, or weirdly anxious....
Anyway, I coughed a bit as the dust was cleared from the books and set to float in the air. I gave a little flap of my wings, sending the offensive air particles packing and clearing my field of vision and breathing space. I blinked to clear my eyes of anything left over, and eager returned to scrutinizing the bookshelves. I felt a wave of excitement wash over me, as I (awkwardly) grabbed a big dark blue tome from it's place and the shelve with a hoof and brought it down to read.
…
Aaaaaany second now...
Damn, this was starting to really hurt my eyes and give me a headache. I had no clue what was going on. I shook my head, thinking maybe that would help me out, and then tried again. Looking at the writing on the front cover was very trippy, I didn't know what to make of it. I mean, I understand the Equestrian alphabet, I know I did because there were parts that I could read, but only for a split second, before the letters seemed to float about the cover. I squinted my eyes in concentration and in an attempt to catch the magical symbols, opening the book and flipping through the pages, skimming the contents to find that the same thing was present no matter where I looked. Some letters let me read them before dancing around the pages, some letters turned into different letters, and other letters didn't register as written Equestrian to me.
What was going on? Was there something wrong with me? How come it was so freaking hard to try to do something that I used to love, and did on a regular basis? Maybe because I have my old human brain inside this pony body? Could there be some kind of compatibility issue or something?
Glaring and shaking my head, I put that book back on the shelf and grabbed another one, hoping it was just that one tome, but alas my hopes were crushed. The same bullcrap happened in this one as did the last one. I tried in vain to make anything concrete out, but only ended up frustrated and with a deeper headache. I shook my head violent, refusing to give up. The books had to be the problem! Maybe that why they were down here and not upstairs where they could be checked out. These books must have some kind of magical mishap cursing them, and so Twilight had them all stored down here since they were unreadable. It all makes sense now!
There wasn't anything wrong with me. It was the damned magical books! Oh, those rascals! They had me going there for a minute! But I'm too smart and strong willed to fall for such a thing, yessiree bob!
After realizing the problem with the books, I decided to continue to look through them anyway, but I wasn't gonna try to read the words. I settled for looking at the pictures and illustrations, discovering that a lot of these books seemed to be guidebooks of some sort. I found several books with pictures of Canterlot, and several books with pictures of wildlife and forests and the such, I even found a couple of pony cookbooks! As I was pulling a new book down from one of the shelves, I saw a satisfied looking purple alicorn strut over to where I sat on my haunches, several bottles of liquid floating along behind her enveloped in a light purple glow.
“Found them,' she annouced, shooting a playfully sardonic look my way. “Thanks for your help, Kiwi.”
I grinned at her and waved a hoof at her magnanimously. “Think nothing of it!' I winked.
She rolled her eyes.
“So, whatcha got there?' she asked curiously, walking up to look over my shoulder as I held one of those un-readable books.
“Eh, just one of these magic books you got stockpiled here.' I shrugged, flipping through the tome and noting the illustrations of what looked to be monsters and magical creatures.
“Magic books?' she repeated, and I could almost hear the headtilt in her voice. “ I don't have any books on magic stored down here. Only guides and help manuals. See, like that outdated 'A Guide to Magical Beasts' you're looking through. I mean, sure it deals with monsters and things like that, but nothing magical about them.”
I stiffened in mid page turn, and turned to look at Twilight. “Er, well, yeah, I knew that,' I stammered, then turned to gesture at the dancing font on the page I had stopped on. “I was talking more about how these books are unreadable, see?” I held the tome up for her, a part of me praying she would agree with me. That it was the books, not me. I couldn't be the one with the problem!
I felt the gentle touch of her telekinesis grab the book from my hooves and I turned to watch as she brought it up to her face.
“Well, the terminology is ancient, but I wouldn't go as far as to call it 'unreadable'”, she said with a laugh. “This is a perfectly good entry on Goblins, besides the fact that it's now void.”
My mind was reeling at the implications of what I just heard. Twilight could read it just fine. I could not. This logical meant that my previous theory of the books having been cursed or otherwise magicked was no long plausible, and it was more probable that I simply couldn't read the language....That's what it had to be. I knew it wasn't the simple 'not knowing the written language' problem, as there were bits and pieces I understood, this seemed more like a problem with me being from another dimension. Could my being an alien trapped in a foreign body have made things messed up in said body? What other normal functions would be messed up because of my intrusion? This was looking bad, especially with school on the way. They'd know something was wrong the minute I tried to read aloud to the class!
With my mind frozen by this crushing revelation of problems to come in my little life as a filly, I latched onto something to take my mind off of it.
“Wait, goblins?” I asked, snapping my head up to stare at Twilight curiously. “Those little green things with the red eyes and the teeth?”
“The very same,' she nodded in response, levitating the book around the show me. It seems I had found the entry on the little green bastards, as an illustration eerily similar to the one I had encountered earlier today stared out at me.
“What do you mean by the entry being void?”
Twilight stood up a little straighter, apparently shifting into 'exposition mode'. “I mean that goblins went extinct hundreds of years ago. They were creatures created by an ancient necromancer named The Horned One, and were used as minions in his army. They were weak and fragile and they weren't very bright, but they were quick and small, could blend into their surroundings and apparently had a inherent glamour that made it difficult for most ponies to even notice them, and so The Horned One used them as spies and scouts.' she explained, thankfully seeming to give me an abridged history. “When Princess Celestia banished The Horned One in to the Shadowlands, the goblins were so attuned to their master they were banished along with him. It's been seven hundred years since then, and not a single goblin has been seen since. So, they're basically extinct.” She placed the book back on the shelf, and and made for the stairs. “Come on, let's get this punch up to the party!”
I frowned. “But I saw one.”
“Saw one what?' she raised an eyebrow, pausing before the stairs.
“A goblin.” I stood up and followed after her, looking at her with a serious expression. “ I saw a goblin before we arrived at the party today. It was stealing apples. I chased it!”
Twilight smiled and continued up the stairs. “Oh, that's not possible.' she chuckled. “I'm not saying something didn't steal and apple and you chased it, but it couldn't have been a goblin. It might've looked similar and you just thought it was a goblin, but it wasn't a legitimate little green creature.”
I glared as Twilight turned back to face front and led the way back up the stairs. Oh, so that's how it was gonna be, huh? Because I'm a kid I can't possibly know what I'm talking about, is that right? I sighed to myself, knowing that there was no reason continue the subject any further. I've seen enough movies about this kind of thing, and most importantly I knew what I saw.
I made a mental note to find away past my reading predicament and coming back to study that tome. I had a feeling I hadn't seen the last of that little booger, and I could only guess how many of them their actually was where that one came from.
But I'd worry about that later. Right now, I had a party to enjoy and ponies to meet!
Three hours after the party ended a young Earth Pony filly named Golden Gloves finds herself to be incredibly bored, sitting upside down in a comfy sofa in her best friend Clockwork Cherishs basement lab. " Are you done yet, 'Rish?"
The young unicorn in question was at her work bench, goggles donned and tools working, sparks flying and metal clanking, her tongue sticking out of the side of her mouth as she concentrated on her work.
"Almost, Goldie~' she responded in her nasally voice without looking up from her work. " I just gotta solder these last components, and then apply the outer casing and bolt it down, and I'll be done! Oh, wait- I actually gotta apply the fake fur, too, THEN I'll be done!"
Golden Gloves tried to entertain herself by sucking on the air to bring her bangs closer to her, than blowing them away, then rinse and repeat. " Why do you gotta build your Dad a robot cat, in the first place? Why don't you just go 'n BUY a little furball for him?"
"I've already told ya, Goldie, Papa's allergic to em, but he loves cats more than anything in the world. So, I figure for his birthday, I'll give him the Clockwork Cat, patent pending, and he won't have to go to the ER for his bloating. I'm telling you, this Cat will be just like a real one, down to every last detail you'd expect a cat to have!"
"Except for being alive and junk, huh?' Golden Gloves muttered.
" Not only will this be pivotal to my Poppa's health and happiness, this prototype will serve as a glorious test run of my new line of Clockwork Pets, trademarked, toys for those who want a real one but can't for whatever reason! I'll not only be filthy rich, but once again I'll prove my genius to those RUBES down at the Makina School of Robotic Arts, and they'll ALL be sorry they turned down my genius and denied me entrance into their school!!!"
Golden Gloves gave her friend a strange look as the filly had suddenly went on a maniacal sounding rant of frustration. She watched her BFF breath heavily for a few seconds, before blinking once and slowly responding.
"Dude, it's a college for ponies with triple digit IQs."
"EXACTLY! They could have made use of mine!!!"
"...you're just a kid though, that school was for old eggheads, ya know."
"And that's another injustice that I shall prove to have been wrong! I'll rub it in all their smug, grown-up faces!! PWAHAHAHAHA!" Cherish did her ' mad scientist cackle w/ lightning background' schtick she seemed to do more often then not, her copper mecha backpack producing holographic lightning and doing the thunder sound effect. She looked pretty silly(if not impressive), but Golden Gloves could never find the heart to tell her... plus, she prefered to laugh silently to herself whenever her Bestie did it.
'I sure hope she can get the recognition she deserves, if only because she really is a genius at this stuff...' she thought, running a hoof through her dirty yellow mane. 'But I'm not so sure making robotic pets is the way to do it...'
"Now the preparations are all completed!' she exclaimed and then pointed at Golden Gloves dramatically. " Gol-gor! Throw the switch!!!!"
Goldie suppressed a giggle and played along, making a face and posture imitating that of a hunchback assistant. " Yyyes, Master!" she said in a voice to go along with it, and then trotted over to "The Switch", throwing it on.
A momentary crackle of electricity filled their ears, as the robotic cat convulsed and jittered around on the table.
"Yes...Yyyyes...YEEEEEES!!!!" Cherish laughed loudly at her creation as it started to come to life. "I HAVE DONE IT! I HAVE BREATHED INTO MY CREATION....LIFE!!!!!!"
Goldie threw the switch off again as she took the cliched and overused line Cherish shouted as her cue. She'd started to grow used to her friend's peculiarities by this time, and had played "Gol-gor" to her "Steinsdale" many a time by know.
Golden Gloves joined Clockwork Cherish in looking down at the workbench at the black cat robot, and they waited for a moment together in silence.
"....did it work?" Goldie asked after a beat or two.
Cherish snorted incredulously. " Oh, puh-lease~ Goldie. This is a creation of MINE, we're talking about? And as such, it's pedigree of quality is just the same as all of my genius creations!" she said with pride, hoof to her chest for effect.
The larger filly gave the inventor a flat look.
"... so you're not sure."
"Eeeyeah...." Cherish said sheepishly. "Eh heh heh..."
Goldie rolled her eyes at her friend affectionately, and they returned their gaze back to the cat and waited.
After roughly an hour, they decided it wasn't going to work at all.
"Awwwwwww...." Cherish groaned sadly, deflating visibly. " What went wrong? Did I use too much juice? Was the CAT AI program buggy in anyway(I'll have to take my notes to Miss Sparkle later...)? What went wrong?"
"Hey, Hey...' Golden Gloves said gently, wrapping an arm around her friend's shoulders and pulling her in. " There's still time before your Dad's B-day, 'Rish! You'll figure it out in time, you always do! You ARE the smartest filly in Ponyville afterall~"
"Pony." Cherish muttered.
"Pony!,' Golden Gloves rolled her eyes as she amended herself.
Cherish's smile returned at the opportunity to talk good about herself. " That is the truth....Oh well, you're right, Goldie~ C'mon, I'll make ya some smoothies while we figure it out!"
"What's this 'we' stuff, poindexter?" Golden Gloves grinned playfully as they exited the lab, chatting amiably together as the made their way up the stairs, and turning off the lights as they closed the door behind them, not noticing the feline eyes lighting up in the growing darkness behind them....
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Wow, just when I was thinking about this fic it updates! Well, I'm sorry to say you still have your similar word problem. Once I dig myself out of my homework backlog I'll see about sending you that list I promised way back two chapters ago. In any case, keep it up!
Interesting chapter. Two new plot points! No wait, three!
I wonder if Kiwi isn't supposed to know how to read in er, "canon" or not? She doesn't seem too young, but I don't know if it takes foals longer to learn that funny pictographic unicorn script. She's got a unique situation here, in that even if she isn't embarassed about being illiterate and immediately wants to learn how to read, she still can't let anyone know she can't read, because she doesn't know if the old Kiwi knew how. It could totally blow her cover! The first rule of accidental possession is hold off on telling people about it as long as possible, so when they inevitably think to blast you to oblivion to save Dash's little sister, they'll have come to love you and be unable to go through with your psychic murder. They'll say "Why didn't you tell us sooner?!" and you could answer "Because now you have emotional ties so you can't take the easy solution of eradicating me," but instead you'll answer "I was just so scared you would hate me!" and they'll go aww and you'll be totally safe.
When you can't read anything because the letters keep escaping, that means that you are in a dream, because the right hemisphere of the brain (responsible for reading) is inactive during sleep.
I think that either "Kiwi"'s arrival changed something to let goblins exist again or... possibly Discord did something?
I am also very confused by the part that is in italics, what the hay was that frankencat stuff?
Great another cliche HIE where the character have to fight evil make friend of have a girlfriend...
4106334 Haha
4106334 In the military base
Commander: Alright let's blitz these f*****
Soldier: Alright i'll get the mixer
4106377
It would probably end up in some very creating helicopter flying.
more.
3930833 I think editing is more important than quick updates. A quick glance through can isolate misplaced quotations and incompletely altered sentence structure.
The world would not survive!
Okay, ......So saw this got bored and decided to read this. .....Now on the matter of Kiwi Blitz, its only a matter of time before Rainbowdash figures whats wrong with her sister, "T" gets a reality check, and everything falls apart. However, I'm unsure of the matter on which Discord did this. In my opinion, he either
A) switched the two Kiwi is in "T"'s body and "T" is in Kiwi's body
B) merged the two together, but "T" is currently in control
C) Something else, I haven't thought of.
As lover of seeing things blown up in ones face, I COMAND THEE to update!!
I wish to see "T", get his/her ass handed to him by Rainbowdash once she learns the truth. Thou shall not stop writing!!
4756682 Worry not, my lovely! I am fully intent on updating this story and continuing it to fruition!
Thank you for your kind words, I'm sincerely glad you enjoyed it and I hope you'll enjoy what's to come
Wow. Dyslexia. That’s a new one.