Spike buys a comic book and finds it fun even though there's blood and gore. Twilight sees him reading it and doesn't approve of him reading it. The book is called 'The Darkness'. how will is not go wrong. Right?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Twi is an overbearing control freak
You need to work on your grammar and maybe not end with the magic book cliche. Also maybe add to why her magic went insane. As far as the rest goes I like this story and will continue to read it.
I'm interested in seeing where this goes... and seriously, Twi; He's 17.
This is an interesting concept, I could see a number of cool ways this could go, especially if that foreshadowing in the description is going where I think it is.
But dude, you need to work on your editing. Spelling mistakes don't usually bother me, unless they're so frequent that it distracts from the story, and this is definitely the case here. What's really disappointing is that I think most of these mistakes could be fixed if you simply double checked your work a little.
Also, learn the golden rule of formatting; new paragraph, every time a character starts a new dialogue statement.
For example.
This is the standard way of doing it, and you'll see a lot of the big authors on FIM using it.
Again, I really love the idea of this story. You've got me coming back just for the idea alone. Keep writing man.
3938394 Even in the show she like that.
3939363 exactly
You sir have done something I can only dream about. This is going to be good.
I demand more. More darkness more awesomeness more every thing. Oh I can't wait till Spike tares and destroys the city with the darkness.
Rate out of 5
Twilight, no matter how much you argue with him, bottom line is that he's 17, an age where it is acceptable to read those things. Don't be , be .
Now that he has read The Darkness! Allow me to reveal another adult comic he can read! -takes out a comic with a cartoonish smiling face that has blood on it-...The Watchmen!
Brah, Jackie is a dude
8083409 Thanks for telling me, kind of forget to add that is was his girlfriend that died before he did.