Twi is an overbearing control freak

You need to work on your grammar and maybe not end with the magic book cliche. Also maybe add to why her magic went insane. As far as the rest goes I like this story and will continue to read it.

I'm interested in seeing where this goes... and seriously, Twi; He's 17.

This is an interesting concept, I could see a number of cool ways this could go, especially if that foreshadowing in the description is going where I think it is.

But dude, you need to work on your editing. Spelling mistakes don't usually bother me, unless they're so frequent that it distracts from the story, and this is definitely the case here. What's really disappointing is that I think most of these mistakes could be fixed if you simply double checked your work a little.

Also, learn the golden rule of formatting; new paragraph, every time a character starts a new dialogue statement.

For example.

Spike smiles back at her. "I'm just looking for the new comic book called 'The Darkness' I've heard it's a good horror comic."

Flare stared a Spike with a look of concern. "Are you sure? Does Twilight know about this? I don't want her to come hear with a "Why did you let him buy this?' speech... Sometimes I think she's alittle crazy when it come to this things." She says remembering the times when Spike buys a comic and Twi doesn't approves of it.

"Don't worry Dash, Pinkie, and Applejack will hold on to the book when they're around." He said.

Flare stared at him with a confused look. "So they on our side that you're old enough for this books? Because you're like 17 now, right?" She asked him. Spike nodded.

"Yup, I'm 17 and ready for anything!" He yelled to the heavens.

Flare giggled at his stated meant. "So you're ready to date anypony?" She said to him which made him blush.

This is the standard way of doing it, and you'll see a lot of the big authors on FIM using it.

Again, I really love the idea of this story. You've got me coming back just for the idea alone. Keep writing man.

3938394 Even in the show she like that.

3939363 exactly

You sir have done something I can only dream about. This is going to be good.

I demand more. More darkness more awesomeness more every thing. Oh I can't wait till Spike tares and destroys the city with the darkness.

Rate out of 5

Twilight, no matter how much you argue with him, bottom line is that he's 17, an age where it is acceptable to read those things. Don't be , be .

Now that he has read The Darkness! Allow me to reveal another adult comic he can read! -takes out a comic with a cartoonish smiling face that has blood on it-...The Watchmen!

Brah, Jackie is a dude

8083409 Thanks for telling me, kind of forget to add that is was his girlfriend that died before he did.