FINALLY someone sates my need for a stable exploration! No stringing me along for several chapters with no payoff like certain people who shall remain unnamed. *coughBOBULATORcough* Though there's still a lot to be learned about it- namely what the experiment itself was, if anything- one thing is clear: this stable was a bad place to be.
I've actually just realized what an advantage there is to this stable being a joint effort between T.I.T. and Stable-Tec. Stable-Tec was trying to help ponies all along, not run depraved social experiments like Vault-Tec, and a lot of people (including yours truly) lose sight of that in their haste to create an interesting stable experiment. You don't have that restriction with these stables, as Stable-Tec wasn't the sole contractor involved in their creation. So points for thinking of that, whether intentionally or unintentionally.
The tone of the stable was definitely ominous, what with the piles of ash that used to be ponies littering the ground everywhere. I liked that you made Inkwell respectful of the dead, it really spoke to his character that he was reluctant to disturb the piles or skeletons, and even went so far as to chastise Crosshair for rooting through one such pile.
Things start off relatively tame, protectapony here, brain-bot there, maybe a turret or two. And then all of a sudden there's a... holy shit, is that a sentinel? Crammed into a stable? Those three certainly had their work cut out for them with that fight. Still, quick thinking from Mustang. I would've never even thought about dropping onto it from above.
Some very distinct commentary here regarding PipBucks. Was this where Inkwell obtained his in the original draft? I can see why you decided to axe it; with power armor, who really needs a PipBuck, anyway? All you're really missing out on is the radio, sorting spell and S.A.T.S., and power armor has built-in E.F.S., so it's not like Inkwell's missing out on a whole lot. PipBucks are overused anyway (Mach uses the ScoutBuck so little, I could have written it out altogether without the story suffering for it), so good on you for bucking tradition.
Pretty entertaining chapter, some laughs, a bunch of action, and a whole lot of questions. It could use touching up in spots (at one point, you mentioned Crosshair both in front of and behind the group, and there's a sentence in there where you just sort of stopped writing), maybe a little more description for the battles (which is something I sorely lack, so I've gotten good at realizing when I need to add more to a fight scene, thanks to Adder), but other than that it was pretty solid. Keep it up, you've got good momentum going! Hell, you beat me to updating!
2744740 Glad I have...satiated your need for Stable exploration. Yeah the choice for having a joint Stable-Tec/T.I.T project was my idea, as you can get away with doing more radical stuff.
The robot wasn't a Sentinel or an Ultra-Sentinel. It's a different robot model altogether, that I'll go more into later. Inkwell wasn't actually going to get a PipBuck this chapter, but I did want ot hint at it. Plus I remembered Littlepip rebooting SteelHooves Power Armor with a Master Key and felt like including that too. I'll try to get around to polishing this chapter up a bit later. And I think I fixed the sentence that just kind of cut off
2745367 Inkwell thought it was going to be an Overmare's office. But after examining the map he found upon entering the stable, he realises that this stable had an Overstallion. Thanks for pointing out that sentence, I've fixed it now. Thanks for reading, I hope you'll continue to read future chapters ;) Oh also, glad you love Crosshair.
Comment posted by ALIENwolve deleted Jun 26th, 2013
2745553 Oh, okay then. Of course I'll continue to read. When I read something I like, I read it 'till the end. Also, yeah. Crosshair is exactly the type of sidekick/companion I like. Besides, irony/cynicism is my favorite kind of humor.
The entire bottom floor had been a storage room, boxes and piles of bullets were heaped as far as the eye could see. Well, maybe not that far, but it was a really big room. I mean, millions of rounds. Most were still in their cases, but a large horde had spilled from a few shelves, and in my ecstatic joy I had not been able to help myself. I’d jumped in and waded a few steps before taking a dive.
“HOW! HOW ARE YOU DOING THAT!” Crosshair cried in dismay. “This is scientifically impossible! You’re scientifically impossible!”
Coming up for air, I spit a few loose rounds out, like a stream of water. “Where there’s a happiness, there’s a way~!” I called, before going back down for another dunk.
“But...But...” Crosshair stuttered, struggling for words.
FIRST~! lol, but seriously, I don't count. :D
FINALLY someone sates my need for a stable exploration! No stringing me along for several chapters with no payoff like certain people who shall remain unnamed. *coughBOBULATORcough* Though there's still a lot to be learned about it- namely what the experiment itself was, if anything- one thing is clear: this stable was a bad place to be.
I've actually just realized what an advantage there is to this stable being a joint effort between T.I.T. and Stable-Tec. Stable-Tec was trying to help ponies all along, not run depraved social experiments like Vault-Tec, and a lot of people (including yours truly) lose sight of that in their haste to create an interesting stable experiment. You don't have that restriction with these stables, as Stable-Tec wasn't the sole contractor involved in their creation. So points for thinking of that, whether intentionally or unintentionally.
The tone of the stable was definitely ominous, what with the piles of ash that used to be ponies littering the ground everywhere. I liked that you made Inkwell respectful of the dead, it really spoke to his character that he was reluctant to disturb the piles or skeletons, and even went so far as to chastise Crosshair for rooting through one such pile.
Things start off relatively tame, protectapony here, brain-bot there, maybe a turret or two. And then all of a sudden there's a... holy shit, is that a sentinel? Crammed into a stable? Those three certainly had their work cut out for them with that fight. Still, quick thinking from Mustang. I would've never even thought about dropping onto it from above.
Some very distinct commentary here regarding PipBucks. Was this where Inkwell obtained his in the original draft? I can see why you decided to axe it; with power armor, who really needs a PipBuck, anyway? All you're really missing out on is the radio, sorting spell and S.A.T.S., and power armor has built-in E.F.S., so it's not like Inkwell's missing out on a whole lot. PipBucks are overused anyway (Mach uses the ScoutBuck so little, I could have written it out altogether without the story suffering for it), so good on you for bucking tradition.
Pretty entertaining chapter, some laughs, a bunch of action, and a whole lot of questions. It could use touching up in spots (at one point, you mentioned Crosshair both in front of and behind the group, and there's a sentence in there where you just sort of stopped writing), maybe a little more description for the battles (which is something I sorely lack, so I've gotten good at realizing when I need to add more to a fight scene, thanks to Adder), but other than that it was pretty solid. Keep it up, you've got good momentum going! Hell, you beat me to updating!
Oh Celestia I love Crosshair so much. Best Zebra ever.
So, before it was the Overmare's office, and now it's the Overstallion's. Did I miss something?
Poor Inkwell. Must be hard to lose that much guns in such a short time when you're a Steel Ranger.
Uuhh... I think this sentence was cut or something.
Anyway. Great chapter, very fun.
Kindly,
~Sinrar
PS: I absolutely don't know why, but I ship Crosshair/Inkwell
2744740 Glad I have...satiated your need for Stable exploration. Yeah the choice for having a joint Stable-Tec/T.I.T project was my idea, as you can get away with doing more radical stuff.
The robot wasn't a Sentinel or an Ultra-Sentinel. It's a different robot model altogether, that I'll go more into later. Inkwell wasn't actually going to get a PipBuck this chapter, but I did want ot hint at it. Plus I remembered Littlepip rebooting SteelHooves Power Armor with a Master Key and felt like including that too. I'll try to get around to polishing this chapter up a bit later. And I think I fixed the sentence that just kind of cut off
2745367 Inkwell thought it was going to be an Overmare's office. But after examining the map he found upon entering the stable, he realises that this stable had an Overstallion. Thanks for pointing out that sentence, I've fixed it now. Thanks for reading, I hope you'll continue to read future chapters ;) Oh also, glad you love Crosshair.
2745553 Oh, okay then. Of course I'll continue to read. When I read something I like, I read it 'till the end.
Also, yeah. Crosshair is exactly the type of sidekick/companion I like. Besides, irony/cynicism is my favorite kind of humor.
Kindly,
~Sinrar
Boy, I can't wait for chapter 6 to come out!
Fantastic chapter! I really enjoy these comedic Fo:Es.
Stable-Tec clearly had some defective thinking. Apparently these people didn't plan well, spent all their funds on bullets...
I've read fallout equestria, however I did not finish it, at which point should it be enough to read this fic? it really attracts me
2837653
As long as you have some familiarity with the setting you should be set. I don't plan on mentioning the original, until a little later anyway.
This story the description it intrigues me....I'll put it on my read later list
2839418 YAAAAAY!
Thank you
This is good. It gives you the impression of fallout with a dash of cartoonyness to it.
By the way, when is the diamond dog going to come into play?
Obviously Crosshair has never heard of DuckTales