Chapter 2 Growing up
Growing up
The furst few months there boring, and I was jost a gray unicorn colt with nothing to do! Intel one day whenmy magic serge came...
I was sleeping when, I felt that I was flying. So I opened my eyes, and saw a cyan aria around me and I grined. I was flying in the air above my new mom. She grabbed my cyan tale (like the royal gard), and pulled me to the ground. I made a really sad face (like when the parasprits ate lyra's cake). My magic wore out once I hit the ground. She yelled at me "Bill take control of your magic got it!"
I nodded my head, Whut is my name Bill! That was the name of my best friend. I hate that voce! He should have had them name me Steven! If I hear that voice again I'll tell it to name me Steven. Well I just have to live with that.
3 years later
"Okay mom so I need to crack this egg without using my teeth or hoofs!" after 10 days I profited it and when my mom wanted to make a cake or something she called me over.
One day my mother called me over and I sat down next to my father and my dad was the furst one to speak "Bill you have grown up and we see that you are reddy to attend clestea's school for gifted unicorns."
"Realy dad?" I asked
"Yes Bill you earned it!" my mom replied
"So is there an entrance exam?" I asked alredy knowing the answer.
"Yes there is. You have to hacch a dragon egg without touching it." My mom replied.
At the Exam
"Next bill is it? One of the juges asked,
"Yes my name is Bill. May I start?"
"Yes, hatch this dragon egg and with out using hoofs or your teeth, begin!"
At home
Let's just sat that I broke that egg in record time and a black dragon poped out. So I got to keep the dragon, and I got in to the school. In 10 more days I start... Magic kindergarten.
Those 10 days where existing I got a dragon as a new 'friend' I'll name him Steven (LOL). "Helo Steaven!"
The little dragon replied " helo bill that is what yor parents called you!"
"Steven do you like bananas?" just a question lets see if this works.
"Do you know where you can go bananas!"
I dident think he be a brony so we both yelled together "On the MOON!"
"I dident think you be a brony! What is your real name?"
"My real name is Pual. Did you keep your memories?"
"Ya! I saved my entire town and how did you keep yours?"
"I let my group go in the marines and sacrificed my own life in the process."
"I have to pack for my furst day of school tomorrow. So school wasn't the next day because it was sunday so I stayed in my room and gave the sacrament to Paul and myself. Now school was Realy tomarrow!
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Kind of seems as if your typing actually has a lisp at certain points along with the other misspellings, which is odd. An editor would help to improve this immensely.
Please...learn...to...spell
There's a neat little program on your computer called Spellcheck. Have you ever considered using it?
Wow.
Such spell.
Very suck.
Many Plan 9.
Spelling is...lacking I guess is the nice way to put it
. An editor could really help clean this up...or even spell check (which a lot of browsers have built in).
3846327
I'm using a bad spell check
I pad typing
3846407
don't write on your iPad then.
3846430
I'm even Worse on computers and I HATE MAKS!
Plus I'm writing on it now
New Dragon Empire was worce!
Hello sir, I came here today to give you a piece of M and M review. (not the candy)
To be honest with you, your story is crap. Crappier than a writer that doesn't know english and uses google translate to help him/her. The storyline seems cliche and bland already at the first ten words.
I see that you have spelling problems but that doesn't explain anything because I'm using my phone to type down this review. And my phone had low quality auto correct and I still manage to write down words just fine.
I'm guessing you're a noob writer, and I got to admit. When I wrote my first fanfic, it was horrible, but to think about it. I rather read it than this. You have chapters that are out of pace and the plot is very, very, very, very old. The description is complete potatoe mash. Plus, if there was a crazy old man running around town (which will not happen) then the authorities will take him down with lethal or non-leathal force.
The only thing good about this is pretty much nothing at all. So I'll give you a 3/10.
3846540 I'm not the best at writing, but an can write better than you. I don't even need an editor. I wrote 12 stories.
What an utterly abominable story.
3847601
Yes, even 11 year olds could do better then this.
t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSDR0w389Nooo9J-G4ZqXIa0PSDXtqq3fSdqDqC0CGaQD81Zyvo
That takes care of the spelling mistakes...other than fallow. Fallow has everything to do with agriculture, not following (with a "O") something.
Pffffftttt
There's no way this isn't a trollfic.
It's pretty damn good at it's job, I'll give it that.
That needs to be a metal band- oh! or maybe Magical Misery Corps- shit, I gotta write this down...
hummmm
