Fallout Equestria: Memories
By TheBobulator
Chapter 18 (Part ThisIsn’tCanonButtIt’sFunny): What the buck?
“If J. R. R. Tolkien knew there was an MMO based off his books he’d be spinning in his grave so fast he’d fucking drill to China.”
Frosty read the big green letters clearly written on her brand-new 29” 1080i LCD Ponysonic monitor. Could not connect to game servers? This was a bucking single player game! Why did she need to be online in order to play, anyway? More importantly, had her game saved? The unicorn’s face paled and her heart skipped a beat. When was the last time she created a manual save, anyhow?
As the thoughts of countless hours lost rampaged through her mind, Frosty shakily pushed her equally-new Crazer Serpent across her Princess Luna mousepad with a teal hoof. In an act of extreme trepidation, she clicked the very large ‘Continue’ button located at the bottom of the horrifying error message.
Just to make the moment even more devastating, the game immediately exited to the main menu, where it no longer showed of the grim equestrian wasteland background that Fallout: Equestria (Currently subtitled with “Memories” in bright blue text) shipped with. All of the game’s sub-menus were grayed out, including the crucial ‘Resume Game’ button. The current background showed an excessively cartoony caricature of a generic earth pony sadly frowning at the ground.
“What the buck do you mean, Error 37?” The white-maned teal unicorn yelled at the screen in obvious outrage. “I’ve only been playing for like, 9 bucking hours!” Frosty pushed her hind hooves against the wall behind her desk and scooted her chair backward. “HEY AUTUMN! YOU LOSE CONNECTION TOO?” She loudly shouted, hoping her voice would carry down the hall, to the left, and into her brother’s room.
“Yeah! I got a really funny error message, you?” Came the shouted reply.
“37?”
“The buck does that mean?”
What did that mean, exactly? The base of Frosty’s chair glowed with bright blue magic as she rolled herself back to her desk. A quick search of the internet revealed nothing that she didn’t already know. “All the forums say that the servers are too busy to handle our request, and we should try again later.”
Obnoxiously loud tapping of keys ensued from both gaming ponies. “I hate launch day. Doesn’t anypony think that ‘Oh, it’s not like tens of thousands of ponies are going to log in at the same time, overloading our servers that were designed for a hundredth of that amount’ or anything?” Autumn eventually shouted back.
A louder, more mature voice broke into the conversation. “Kids, did the game break for you too?”
“Yeah dad!” Frosty and Autumn replied.
There was a short silence. “Funny. Let me call your uncle and find out what’s wrong. Celestia willing, he’s still at the office.”
“Good thing I saved like, right before it crashed. I finally made it through the first act of the ‘Souls’ story pack.” Autumn groaned.
The only thing Frosty could do now was wait and hope the servers came back up. Her cursor hovered over the ‘Retry’ button and repeatedly selected the small dark green box. A tiny little beep accompanied by a notification on the bottom right of her screen. She paused in her rage clicking in order to change to her Hype chat program.
~MothraMoth~: So I just finished installing FoE
~MothraMoth~: Shit doesn’t work
IzzitCountastrikez?: LOLOLOL
Frosthorne The Feared: mine isn't working anymroe
Allnatural_Tofu: welp I guess I’m doing my notes then
Allnatural_Tofu: I was relly hoping to play tonight
Allnatural_Tofu: *realloy
Allnatural_Tofu: **really
Allnatural_Tofu: stupid keys
Frosthorne The Feared: magic biatch
Allnatural_Tofu: I hate you
Frosthorne The Feared: :3
~MothraMoth~: So does this mean your advance press copy finally broke?
~MothraMoth~: GG Frosty broke the game for everypony
Frosthorne The Feared: NO
IzzitCountastrikez?: lolyup
IzzitCountastrikez?: you lose all internets
Frosthorne The Feared: stupid error 37 my butt
~MothraMoth~: huh?
K4: Context?
Frosthorne The Feared: o shit you’re here
Frosthorne The Feared: “can’t connect to server”
Frosthorne The Feared: the buck is this
Frosthorne The Feared: buck you equestria arts
~MothraMoth~: Didn’t you dl a bunch of dlc early or something?
Allnatural_Tofu: WUT
Allnatural_Tofu: WANT
Frosthorne The Feared: don’t think this is relevant
Allnatural_Tofu: GIMME
Frosthorne The Feared: no
Allnatural_Tofu: GIMME
Frosthorne The Feared: NO GO AWAY
Allnatural_Tofu: D:
Allnatural_Tofu: plz?
Frosthorne The Feared: stahp
~MothraMoth~: Which one were you playing
~MothraMoth~: before you broke the entire game,
~MothraMoth~: thereby ruining fun for everypony?
Frosthorne The Feared: memories i think
Frosthorne The Feared: lemme check
Frosthorne The Feared: yeah
Allnatural_Tofu: I really wanted to play Outlaw first
~MothraMoth~: I was going to start the original
~MothraMoth~: Then I got ganked by the plot of Wings
~MothraMoth~: sooo...
IzzitCountastrikez?: if frosty broke the game wut u guys doin now
K4: Buck your Equestrian fool.
Frosthorne The Feared: I DIDNT BREAK IT GUYS
IzzitCountastrikez?: lol ur a butt
Frosthorne The Feared: DONT DO THIS TO ME
Frosthorne The Feared: THIS IS HOW CONSPIRACIES START
~MothraMoth~: Oh hey I just got the error
~MothraMoth~: Looks like I’m not patching either
~MothraMoth~: Thanks Frosty
Frosthorne The Feared hits everypony with keyboard
IzzitCountastrikez?: so wut now
IzzitCountastrikez?: im bored
K4 ducks
~MothraMoth~: I guess I’m playing Team Foaltress 2 then
IzzitCountastrikez?: booting
IzzitCountastrikez?: imma pee first
Allnatural_Tofu: needed to know that
Frosthorne The Feared: eh sure i’ll play
Frosthorne The Feared: lemme go tell my bro
Allnatural_Tofu: that bitch owes me keys
Allnatural_Tofu: welp im’ definitely not taking notes anymore
~MothraMoth~: Dammit I need to patch this too wtf
K4: If my files ever finish validating, I’ll join too I guess.
It'z tha bestuh.
Oh shit, did y'all have tragedy strike during the editing of chapter 18? Gosh, I hate it when you write like three thousand words one night, leave it up in your writing program and think it'll be there when you wake up. Oh hey, your computer repooted in the night. T'was what killed my enthusiasm for my first MLP fic.
This was cute, we need more of these. :P
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Chapter 18 was originally a two parter that was several weeks apart, so I threw together this filler chapter for funsies. It also had to do with the Diablo 3 launch failure thing. Man, it's been a while.
Oi rememmer dish ere chapter.