Apple Bloom groaned as she and her friends steadily made their way to Scootaloo’s house.
“Yer mom can’t be serious, Scoots. Ain’t no way she’s really gonna put us through that.”
Scootaloo sighed, not wanting this any more than her friends. “Look, I get it, okay? First time you guys get to stay over, and they have to join in too."
“But why? I don’t want to have a sleepover with them. I want to sleep over with you two.” Sweetie Belle frowned as she followed behind her friends.
“Look, can we just please not talk about it for now? I’d kinda like to imagine I won’t be stuck with them all night for as long as I can," remarked a notably grouchy Scootaloo.
Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom simply elected to nod in reply as they finally reached their friend’s home, the small group promptly entering.
After a moment of thought, Apple Bloom turned to the orange pegasus.
“Say, Scoots, I just remembered, we ain’t never met yer mom.”
Following a brief look of realization, Sweetie Belle added “Yeah, we don’t even know what she looks like.”
Scootaloo quirked an eyebrow at the statements until she remembered her mom wasn’t home last time her friends had been there. “Oh, right. Well, she looks kinda like Rarity, I guess, ya know, she’s a unicorn and all that.”
This earned a chorused response from her friends. “Wait, your mom’s a unicorn?”
“Uh, yeah. I found out a few weeks ago that that’s probably why I’m not able to fly, you know, mixed blood and all that? Supposedly pegasi have difficulty flying if they aren’t pure-blooded," cam the rather nonchalant response.
Sweetie Belle opened her mouth to speak when a knock sounded on the door, a fairly dainty one at that, a knock that drew a collective groan from the fillies inside.
Scootaloo walked to the door. “I got it.” Upon opening of said door, none inside were surprised by the fillies waiting outside, neither of which seemed all too happy to be there.
“Diamond, Silver.”
“Scootaloo,” came the synchronized reply.
“I’m not happy.”
“I care, why?”
“Oh, I don’t know, maybe because we’re step-sisters now?”
“Whoa, what now?” Apple Bloom and Sweetie wore expressions that could be described as nothing short of flabbergasted.
Scootaloo sighed. “Look, just don’t remind me and get in already. The less we discuss it, the faster the night will go. The faster it goes, the faster we get to the part where my mom gets fed up with your dad and this nightmare ends.”
“Your mother? ‘Fed up’ with my father? Well, aren’t you full of yourself.”
“Look, are you gonna come in ‘sis’? It’s not like we can get away with making some excuse up.”
Diamond opened her mouth to respond, but settled for a huff as she walked inside, Silver Spoon following close behind. The two fillies glared at Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom, something which they gladly returned. The room was silent until a voice came from off in the house, speaking in an intentional mimicry of a birdcall. “Scootaloo! Scootaloo! Are your friends here, already?”
Scootaloo face-hoofed and sighed. “Yeah, mom, the whole group’s here!”
“Awesome!” The sound of hooves striking the floor sounded for a moment before a white unicorn with an electric-blue, frazzled mane trotted around the corner, her signature deep purple shades on and a slight smirk on her face.
The other fillies in the room simply stared for a moment as the well-known DJ sized up the group. “So, I’m just gonna take a shot in the dark here and assume you two are the Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon I’ve heard so much about?”
The two fillies in question nodded, but gave no other response.
Vinyl nodded as well. “Well, it seems I’ve got a bit of an impromptu gig to get to. Lucky for me, they at least had the decency to set up my emergency equipment ahead of time.” Vinyl walked over to Scootaloo and kissed the top of her muzzle.
“Moooom!”
Diamond Tiara, not missing a chance to mess with Scootaloo, promptly began laughing. Vinyl turned her head to the filly and walked over, smiling softly. “Oh, and I almost forgot about you!” The DJ leaned down, taking Diamond’s face in her forehooves and covering the filly’s face in kisses. “I can’t believe I almost forgot my other baby! I just can’t wait till I get to tuck you in every night, kiss your wittle cheeks, and help you in your wittle bubble baths! I know how much your daddy says you love it.”
Diamond Tiara, now distinctly a few shades redder than usual, wormed her way out of the mare’s forelegs, only to be met by the crusaders and even Silver Spoon giggling.
Vinyl chuckled and ruffled Scootaloo’s mane a bit before walking to the door. “Now you fillies play nice, and Scootaloo, remember what I told you, three solutions. Works every time. Love you, Scootaloo.”
“Love you too, mom.”
Vinyl waved before walking out, magically closing the door behind her and leaving the fillies alone in the house. Silver Spoon and Sweetie Belle took a few breaths to stop their giggling, something that helped to calm a still fairly flustered Diamond Tiara.
“Well, I’m gonna grab some snacks. You guys can head on up to my room. AB, Sweetie, you remember where it is, right?”
Both nodded and started on their way. Diamond Tiara motioned for Silver Spoon to go on ahead and chose to follow Scootaloo herself.
Scootaloo hummed as she searched through the cabinets, unaware of the earth pony just behind her. “What the hay was up with your mom?”
Scootaloo groaned and put her front hooves back on the floor as she turned to Diamond Tiara with an amused smirk. “Toldya ya wouldn’t know cool if it bit your rump.”
Diamond growled, staring down the pegasus. “Look, just because we’re sisters now doesn’t mean I’m gonna be nice to you.”
Scootaloo simply shrugged as she turned back to her search. “Good. Then I don’t have to share my other sister.”
“Other sister? Since when did you have another sister?”
“Uh, Rainbow Dash, duh. You remember her, right?”
“No, and I don’t care. I. Don’t. Like. You.” Diamond stamped a hoof on each of the last four words.
“Love you too, sis.”
“Buck! You!”
“Sorry, but I’m pretty sure siblings aren’t supposed to do that.”
“We are not siblings. We are step-sisters, nothing more.”
Scootaloo picked out a few bags of chips and set them on the counter before turning to Diamond. “Yeah, well guess what that means? It means we’re gonna be sharing a room eventually, Princess.”
Diamond Tiara groaned. “You are not allowed to call me that.”
“Ugh, will you just shut up?”
“Make me!”
Scootaloo sighed, remembering the three steps as best she could before simply turning and taking the chips in her mouth.
“Don’t ignore me!”
Scootaloo shook her head and started towards her room, only to get cut off at the stairs by the apparently very persistent Diamond Tiara.
“Gt fta m way.”
“No! We are not done talking about this. This is a big deal, okay?”
Scootaloo groaned. “Nn ts nt! Jst lt me by.”
Diamond glared and swatted the chips out of Scootaloo’s mouth. “Put that down and talk!”
“The hay, DT? What’s so freaking important?”
“If we are going to be rooming together soon, we have to work out who is allowed where.”
“Uh, no, we don’t, now stop being a little bitch and try to have some fun for once, will ya?”
“What did you just call me?!”
“Ugh! Never mind.” Scootaloo went, picked up the chips once more, and nudged Diamond Tiara to the side before once more heading to her room.
Unfortunately, Scootaloo only managed to reach just short of the door before Diamond once more blocked her way. Fed up, Scootaloo dropped the bag to the side. “Will you just chill out? Dear Celestia, what do you want?”
“I want to make sure this crap with our parents doesn’t make my life miserable.”
“What do you think I’m trying to do? You just won’t let up!”
Inside Scootaloo’s room, Apple Bloom, Silver Spoon, and Sweetie Belle sighed as they heard the arguing through the door.
“Either o’ y’all think we should maybe do somethin’?”
“They’re step-sisters now, remember? If we stop them now, it’ll just get worse.”
“Yeah, they should probably just work it out themselves. They’re gonna have to later.”
“Yeah, ah s’pose yer right. Anyways, ah got winner o’ this un.”
“Normally I’d say it will obviously be me, but Sweetie Belle is pretty good,”
“Thanks, Silver! I love playing checkers. You’re pretty good, too.”
Silver Spoon smiled and giggled. “Yeah, I guess. Thanks.”
“I’m getting about sick of this, DT.”
“What are you going to do? Kick me? Bite me?”
“I’m not gonna hit you! Just shut up for a minute and ease off!”
“Make! Me!”
Scootaloo leaned in, glaring at Diamond Tiara. “You say that one more time, DT. One more time and─”
“And what?”
“And I bucking will!”
Diamond Tiara leaned in, practically pressing the end of her muzzle to Scootaloo’s. “Make. M─mmph!”
Scootaloo caught Diamond Tiara mid-word with a kiss, one she held for three seconds more before pulling away from the stunned and now silent filly. With a quick nod to herself, Scootaloo picked up the chips and walked around Diamond to see the door open and the others staring at her. Scootaloo smiled and waved before casually trotting into her room and setting down the bag.
“So, anyways, who wants chips?”
....
....
*spits put soda*
wah!?
..
..
you owe me a new mouse... lol
3805271 Yes?
3805277
you owe me a new mouse lol.
3805279 Hey, you had your warnings. I wrote a comedy with "What could possibly go wrong?" in the description. You should really learn to just expect anything from me.
Well i thoroughly enjoyed that, will there be any more?
I wish I could fuck with my stepsister that much without getting in huge trouble/ poisoning my mouth.
And that is why you never challenge someone you hate to make you do something!
Nice touch with scoots mother, great idea!
3805644 Possibly. This seems to have done really well so far, and writing willy seems to be easier at the moment. It kinda depends on if people want more.
3807478 Why, thank you! Also, thanks, this one seems to be doing well enough to earn reason for another chapter, maybe even the full night they go through.
3807498
Looking forward to it. That is if you do it. You peaked my curiosity with how Sweetie, Bloom, and Spoon will go. Let alone the awkward confrontation with DT and Scoots. I'll give it a fave so I can follow it.
Well, that earned a like on originality alone. A fav just for the ending. DT wasn't very cunning here but this was still pleasantly surprising on a few levels. This is why these two are my favorite. Not to mention Scoots was the first to stand up to DT and even throw out some mocking comments. Those two love butting heads.
This was an interesting little one-shot. I'm so glad to see her mom be given some actual original content. That pleased me greatly.
3811512 Well, since this seems to be doing well, I'm kinda working on another chapter. There's still a lot I could do with it, but at the same time, I have a tendency to not recognize uphill from downhill when I'm writing. In other words, I want to continue it a little, but I'm nervous it'll be a Solace repeat, something I do not want by any measure.
3811520 well, you certainly have a lot of options! you can even make a side story to go with this one as its own story. And I'm more than willing to help give an honest opinion on a chapter if you want a prereader.
Save to say you just created an adorable story with lots of potential. You can go slice of life episodes, you can go romance episodes, or you can just continue this story and finish up how the rest of the night goes. Though, that alone seems settled. lol
I say do what you best. I for one would like to see mom and dad have a night out even or how it got started. xD
Seriously, this chapter was good. I'm sure you'll do well.
mmkmmk
Well, I've just finished reading chapter one and it was much better than expected
Tbh, what you originally intended was pulled off nicely, a cute fanfic about a filly sleepover. True, sometimes the language and especially the kiss near the end pushed the boundary of what is labeled for "Everyone", but aside from the regulations, the story would be a nice little read for most people.
Most people meaning most people on this site, having aimed for what you did, you passed with flying colours. However, while this was intended as fanfiction, it does not uphold the requirements to be considered good storytelling or writing outside this side of fandom's realm.
Personally, I would not have read this of my own choosing, I myself see it as a near waste of time to read stories such as these in that narratives conceived without actual purpose or message hold no challenge or thought provoking situations.
I digress. For your goal, you succeeded, however by writing standards you failed. If you would like me to elaborate on the actual writing aspect vs your end goal, just shoot me a PM and I'd gladly explain. But for now, to the next chapter!
Hope this helped
That is all. Equestria is ours.
Oh dear god, Vinyl Scratch as Scootaloo's mother? That's one I honestly have not seen before.
3815583 Before you go around acting like a self righteous condescending ass, you should take a look at your own fic.
While I may not be an "advance reader", even I know that eggplant ain't gonna get any astronomical airtime either.
Besides, I happen to "like reading poor quality", though I'll much prefer referring to them with the much pleasant phrase of 'amateur fiction'. Seriously though, that fic looked like some mindless monkey mashed a thesaurus against a keyboard. Fix it, because right now you sound like nothing more than a big fat hypocrite.
Vinyl Scratch as Scootaloo's mother? That would explain more-or-less everything! In some ways, I feel sorry for both Diamond and Scoots here; they're both young enough that their recently-widowed parents getting into a new relationship would be pretty traumatic. That this means that they need to learn to live with each other can only make it worse.
BTW - If either of them are looking for any sympathy from AB, Sweetie or Spoony for Vinyl's shows of affection, they're bucking the wrong apple tree.
I have no problem with Vinyl being Scoots mom. She's the only mare absent minded enough not to know her own step daughter after marrying DT's father.
Seriously this whole set up seems quite bizarre. Diamond and Scoots call themselves step-sisters which would indicate Filthy and Vinyl were already married, yet the DJ still lives alone and doesn't even know her own step-daughter or is pretending not to know her.
THEN she leaves 5 fillies (half of which hate the other half) unattended for the night.
you lost me as to who was talking accept Bloom because of her heavy accent.
otherwise it was a funny and interesting story.
I'm gonna take my own shot in the dark and say that is the product of one post rave, Ecstasy fueled night with some random Pegasus with a major wing boner for his local DJ.
Best comeback to that I've ever heard.
3806185 ... Chef don't judge...
Btw, really don't like how Vynil's dialogue is written here. She sounds like she's trying to mess with DT by sounding like a perfect mom, which isn't her. We (the community) have pretty much accepted you-know-who as the "official" voice of Vynil, and her portrayal of the character comes with the voice. I just don't see her sounding/acting like this.