me in Equestria?

by IRISHWULFHOUND

question for the ponies

i woke up in a hospital bed with the scent of blood thick in the air. i tried to get up but an unseen force held me down. i heard a gentle voice say, "Please dont try to get up. your body isnt strong enough to move yet."

i smiled at the worry in the soft voice. i reached to scratch my chest then i realized that my armor was gone. i jumped up and fell to the ground my sight going black again the last thing i heard was me frantically asking where my armor was. when i woke up again my vision was the first thing to return. the room i was in was only about seven feet tall with colorful wallpaper depicting little medical crosses and syringes. after a while of staring at the walls my body started to react to my thoughts again. slowly but surely i was able to get out of the bed and start looking for my armor. i got about halfway to the door when a pony walked into the room. it looked female due to its size and the way its eyes looked. i tried to walk past her but she called for help and three more ponies rushed in. they seemed to be males. they tried to push me back but i pushed just as hard. we pushed for what seemed like hours before the ponies grew too weak to resist me. i grabbed the female and asked, "Where is my armor? i will be more than happy to comply once i get it back. i am not going to give up until i get everything i had on me back." the three colts tackled me and made me drop the mare as i slid across the floor. i sat up and tried to resist as they dragged me back to the bed and strapped me down. the mare walked over and injected me with something that made me unable to move. she looked at the colts and said, "Please go to miss sparkle and tell her what is going on. maybe she knows what is going on here."

for the next hour or so i weakly tried to escape my restraints. just as the drug was wearing off the red mare and a new purple one walked into the room i stared at the purple one as she walked cautiously over to me. i just looked at her for a moment and slowly asked, "Are you a unicorn? but unicorns dont exist, magic doesnt exist." she stared at me quizzically and turned to the other mare and said, "This may require the princess' intervention." with a sudden burst of strength i snapped the restraints. i sat up and looked at the two terrified mares in front of me and said, "now, i will be more than happy to answer any questions you have but i will only comply if i get my armor back." they slowly started to move and before too long i was following the purple unicorn whom i had found out was called Twilight Sparkle to her home to be questioned about who i was and what i was doing in the middle of a field bloody and within an inch of death. i explained along the way while trying to avoid the town. i finished my story as we got to her home. when we went inside there were five other ponies. one was a white unicorn. there was also a orange and a pink regular ponies and a yellow and a blue pegesus. most of them just looked at me. the pink one however jumped up and started talking, "omigoshomigoshomigoshwhoareyou?whatsyourname?doyoulikeparties?becauseilikepartysandifyouwouldliketocomeimgonnathrowyouaparty!!!" i got on my knees to look her in the eyes and said, "iamCodyJamesFishbutyoucancallmeJamesandyesidolikepartiesandiwouldbedelightedtocomeifthesituationallowsmethatis." at that point everyone in the room was just staring at me. i sat down and waited for someone to make a move.as i was about to say something when a purple blur came down the stairs and stopped behind Twilight. it was a big lizard of some sort. Twilight looked at the lizard and said, "Spike, take a note. Dear princess Celestia, i have come to a dilemma that needs your immediate attention and i cannot explain it over a single letter so i request that you come as quickly as possible to help resolve the problem. your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle."

with that the lizard took a deep breath and incinerated the letter with dragonbreath. i jumped up and took out my sheild and sword to take a fighting stance. everybody in the room took a step back as i asked, "Are dragons in this world good or evil? Do i have to kill this little bugger?"

all at once the ponies scrambled to get in front of spike and the unicorns pinned me down without touching me. i only allowed myself to be stunned for a few seconds before i stood back up breaking their spell and screamed, "HOLD UP!!! i was just asking a question. im not sure how things work here and i was raised to always be suspicious and expect to die at any given moment. so excuse me if i felt a little threatened by a fire breathing dragon! now lets calm down and aproach this situation carefully. i dont know anyone here, im in an unfimiliar enviroment, i woke up in a hospital without me armor, and ive been knocked out twice. so you may see why i am more than a little suspicious of this place. i dont care how we do this but to start let me introduce myself. I am Cody James Fish, however i would prefer it if you called me James. now, from what i've gathered the purple unicorn is Twilight Sparkle and the little dragon thing is Spike. and if i may ask, who are the rest of you and why the fuck is everyone in this world an animal?"

Comments

[SuchAFoal]

Well...I love the concept of this story and I hope that "cody" finds the happiness he seeks. The main problem I have is your syntax and grammer, they're lacking in key plot areas. Now, I'm not going to be harsh on you, because I understand the difficulty of using this medium. However, you need to proof-read your story. I now this is not my place to do this, but I want to see this story blossom. You seem like you have a passion for writing and have a wonderful story to tell. So, I am willing to proofread your stories or give any help/assurance I can muster. P.M. me if you are interested. As always: learn to question, remember to forget, explore to be lost.

[IRISHWULFHOUND]

340509 i thank you for your criticism but i cant change much of this, the man who had originally written this story was very stubborn and would roll over in his grave if i changed it too much, i cant change much till ch 10. then its free range. i apologize and i will be sure to read over it more carefully and i noticed his work got slightly better over time so if you could just push through the first few chapters im sure it will start getting better. it took him a while to get comfortable with the speed and feel of the story.