me in Equestria?

by IRISHWULFHOUND

First published

a letter in my inbox that says "do you want to change your life?" what could possibly go wrong?

a boy with an incredibly sullen disposition gets warped into Equestria and due to a misunderstanding sets out for revenge on the princesses by going after what they care about most:the ponies of Equestria. not much violence till later in the story. BTW the chapters will get longer as time goes by and i get more comfortable with where the story is heading.

ground zero

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I wake up Christmas morning on the couch for another uneventful day. I get up and walk over to the fireplace, its gone out again. I sigh as I start feeling the 10 below temperature inside my house. I start a new fire as my older sister Kelley walks up the stairs beaming at the prospect of christmas day. I feel sad for her. Even though she is older than me her soul hasnt been crushed and her dreams havent been shattered. She can find happiness in even the smallest of things while I wallow in my own misery. by the time I finally get the fire going my mom walks out of her room and tells me to make her coffee. As I walk up the fairly decorated stairs to the kitchen I look at my home. it has a feeling of happiness, not too strong but definitely not weak. It makes me sick to my stomach. I make her coffee and grab the one present I got for christmas out from under our weak little fake tree. I know that it is a watch because I looked at it a couple days ago. I set it to the right time and called my grandmother to thank her for it. Christmas just isnt the same without my dad. My sister gives my mother her gift while I walk downstairs to look for the stuff I was going to give the two of them. I was broke so I wrote a couple of short stories for them. For my sister I had written a poem to emphisize her love of drawing. For my mom I wrote a story of a man who lost his son and in his greif went to the underworld and tricked hades into releasing him. I gave them their presents and went back to my room. I locked my door and opened my laptop to look through my email. One particular peice of spam caught my eye. The title of it was, "Bored with the holidays? Does life make you depressed?" Intrigued I clicked on it. It opened a letter with nothing but a link on it. I was about to click on it when my mom called me. I walked upstairs and saw a man with a large box at our door. The dogs were going insane. When i gave them my look that said that if they didnt shut up and back off they were going in the cage they backed off of him. My mom signed for the package and opened the box which had several more boxes in it and a letter adressed to me. I grabbed the letter and opened it. It was from a lawyer. It read,

"To Cody James Fish, by now you may know that you're grandfather Kaul is deceased. If you did not I regret to inform you that it is thus. In his will he left you an obscene amount of relics and a single suit of armor that comes with a sheild and sword. He was very clear that you were to only receive the armor, sword, and sheild until you turned 18. Then you are to receive the rest of his effects. Until that point they are being displayed in a museum. He has also made a dvd for only you to veiw. It is enclosed with the rest of the items. The museum that is holding the artifacts has also sent a cloak for the armor as thanks for you to keep."

I looked at my mother and she was crying. The loss of her father hit her the hardest of all involved. And it didnt help that my grandmother got married again. My sister tried to comfort her as I walked back and forth from my room with the boxes. I opened the first one when I locked my door again. this one had the black chestplate and arms in it. The second one I opened had the legs, boots, chainmail, and undercoverings. The third had the sword, sheild, gauntlets, and the dvd. I popped the dvd into my ps2 and my grandfather appeared on the screen, only he was much younger. Probably in his late twentys or early thirtys. He took a deep breath and said,

"If you are watching this it means that I am dead. It also means that I have left you with my suit of armor. By the time you are watching this I will have made several very important decisions. The main one being that you are to get my most valuable possessions. Now that I am dead you may do whatever you want with them. The most important decision is that you have gained my armor. This armor has been passed down from generation to generation of my family. I hope you treat it well, for some reason it wont break. No matter what we do to it it wont even scratch or dent."

The video got fuzzy for a second then my granfather appeared again only this time he looked like he was on the verge of death like the last time I saw him a week before he died. His eyes were filled with pride as he said,

"Cody, you will never know how much it means to me that you are seeing this. I have had the armor fitted to your body size for I know I am not going to be around for much longer. I know that we were never particularly close but I love you all the same. None of my other grandchildren need this armor as much as you do. Each time this armor is past on, the one who receives it is blessed. We never know what it is but from looking at you, I would have to say that you will be the luckiest man alive when you put on the armor. Cody, cherish this armor over all else. Never tell anyone about its power. Destroy this message when you are done with it. Now before I go I have one last request of you. Please take a shower before you put the armor on."

He smiled and leaned forward to turn off the camcorder and then the screen went black. I got up to take the shower and when I returned I started to put on the armor. Someone knocked on the door just as i was about to put the sheild on its clip on my back. I put it down and opened the door. It was my mom. She wanted me to speak to my dad. I took the phone and heard his voise frantically say,

"What did he say on the video son?"

I told him that grandpa only wanted me to hear it he cursed at me and demanded that I tell him. I hung up. I went back into my room and put the sheild ont my back an put on the sword. With the armor complete, I felt good about myself for the first time in years. I looked myself over in the mirror. The black armor contrasted my ivory skin but it clashed well. Without a helmet my shoulder length deep copper red hair seemed more than visible to me. The cloak was made to hide me in the dark. Overall i thought i looked quite evil. I saw in the mirror that my computer was still on so I walked over to it and the link was still on there. I clicked it and in a brilliant flash of white light I was knocked unconscious.

The doctor grunted from the man was putting on his back

"don't worry chap, the hospital is around here somewhere."

question for the ponies

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i woke up in a hospital bed with the scent of blood thick in the air. i tried to get up but an unseen force held me down. i heard a gentle voice say, "Please dont try to get up. your body isnt strong enough to move yet."

i smiled at the worry in the soft voice. i reached to scratch my chest then i realized that my armor was gone. i jumped up and fell to the ground my sight going black again the last thing i heard was me frantically asking where my armor was. when i woke up again my vision was the first thing to return. the room i was in was only about seven feet tall with colorful wallpaper depicting little medical crosses and syringes. after a while of staring at the walls my body started to react to my thoughts again. slowly but surely i was able to get out of the bed and start looking for my armor. i got about halfway to the door when a pony walked into the room. it looked female due to its size and the way its eyes looked. i tried to walk past her but she called for help and three more ponies rushed in. they seemed to be males. they tried to push me back but i pushed just as hard. we pushed for what seemed like hours before the ponies grew too weak to resist me. i grabbed the female and asked, "Where is my armor? i will be more than happy to comply once i get it back. i am not going to give up until i get everything i had on me back." the three colts tackled me and made me drop the mare as i slid across the floor. i sat up and tried to resist as they dragged me back to the bed and strapped me down. the mare walked over and injected me with something that made me unable to move. she looked at the colts and said, "Please go to miss sparkle and tell her what is going on. maybe she knows what is going on here."

for the next hour or so i weakly tried to escape my restraints. just as the drug was wearing off the red mare and a new purple one walked into the room i stared at the purple one as she walked cautiously over to me. i just looked at her for a moment and slowly asked, "Are you a unicorn? but unicorns dont exist, magic doesnt exist." she stared at me quizzically and turned to the other mare and said, "This may require the princess' intervention." with a sudden burst of strength i snapped the restraints. i sat up and looked at the two terrified mares in front of me and said, "now, i will be more than happy to answer any questions you have but i will only comply if i get my armor back." they slowly started to move and before too long i was following the purple unicorn whom i had found out was called Twilight Sparkle to her home to be questioned about who i was and what i was doing in the middle of a field bloody and within an inch of death. i explained along the way while trying to avoid the town. i finished my story as we got to her home. when we went inside there were five other ponies. one was a white unicorn. there was also a orange and a pink regular ponies and a yellow and a blue pegesus. most of them just looked at me. the pink one however jumped up and started talking, "omigoshomigoshomigoshwhoareyou?whatsyourname?doyoulikeparties?becauseilikepartysandifyouwouldliketocomeimgonnathrowyouaparty!!!" i got on my knees to look her in the eyes and said, "iamCodyJamesFishbutyoucancallmeJamesandyesidolikepartiesandiwouldbedelightedtocomeifthesituationallowsmethatis." at that point everyone in the room was just staring at me. i sat down and waited for someone to make a move.as i was about to say something when a purple blur came down the stairs and stopped behind Twilight. it was a big lizard of some sort. Twilight looked at the lizard and said, "Spike, take a note. Dear princess Celestia, i have come to a dilemma that needs your immediate attention and i cannot explain it over a single letter so i request that you come as quickly as possible to help resolve the problem. your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle."

with that the lizard took a deep breath and incinerated the letter with dragonbreath. i jumped up and took out my sheild and sword to take a fighting stance. everybody in the room took a step back as i asked, "Are dragons in this world good or evil? Do i have to kill this little bugger?"

all at once the ponies scrambled to get in front of spike and the unicorns pinned me down without touching me. i only allowed myself to be stunned for a few seconds before i stood back up breaking their spell and screamed, "HOLD UP!!! i was just asking a question. im not sure how things work here and i was raised to always be suspicious and expect to die at any given moment. so excuse me if i felt a little threatened by a fire breathing dragon! now lets calm down and aproach this situation carefully. i dont know anyone here, im in an unfimiliar enviroment, i woke up in a hospital without me armor, and ive been knocked out twice. so you may see why i am more than a little suspicious of this place. i dont care how we do this but to start let me introduce myself. I am Cody James Fish, however i would prefer it if you called me James. now, from what i've gathered the purple unicorn is Twilight Sparkle and the little dragon thing is Spike. and if i may ask, who are the rest of you and why the fuck is everyone in this world an animal?"

what have i done?

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this chapter is an edit of an edit for those of you who have favorited it just a reminder that this story was litterally my first attempt at writing anything.





I sat through the explanation of the history of this world without interrupting once and at the end of it Twilight asked me if I had any questions. I did, I slowly backed up next to the window and said, "I have one, the pony people in this world are vegetarians? They only eat plants?"

they nodded as I sighed and said, "I was afraid of that. You see my people are omnivores. If you don't know what that means I'll tell you. It means that I eat both plants and meat. I eat animals. My people slaughter them, sometimes just for the fun of taking the life of an innocent animal. This is the reason I can't live here. So I am going to be living in the everfree forest. It seems the most similar to my world and the animals have no connection to the rest of this world so I can eat them with a clean conscious."

I jumped through the window as the yellow one desperately screamed, "NO, PLEASE LEAVE THE ANIMALS ALONE!!!"

that was three years ago. I had grown two feet and had found a blacksmith in canterlot who didn't ask questions so I was able to adjust my armor as I grew. I mainly kept to the forest in a cave I had dug in the ground. I occasionally snuck into ponyville and over time I learned that the ponies that I had met held great power and that they had convinced the princess to try to find me. Obviously she had failed and I quickly grew to hate her. She wanted to capture me for trying to survive, for listening to my instincts. In my spite I had come up with a plan. Through a great amount of risky research I learned that the princess had an arch enemy that for some reason she didn't kill, tonight I was going to steal him. I was already to the garden before a guard spotted me he started the alarm as I grabbed Discord and ran with all my might until I was back to my cave. When I looked at the statue it started shaking until in a flash of light the spirit of discord was staring me in the face. I sat on my couch then said, "Ok discord, let's have some fun."

the twisted creature looked at me with amusement for a minute then started laughing insanely. I joined soon after thinking about my revenge. We walked out of my hole towards ponyville, leaving chaos in our wake. The walk took us until morning and to pass the time we talked about a variety of things, mainly how much fun chaos was. We walked into ponyville and the first thing we saw was the blur I think is called pinkie pie. She looked furious as she said, "JAMES!!!Howdareyoumissyourparty!ihadeverythingsetupandyounevershowed!"

she stopped midsentence as chocolate rain drenched us and discord went about his business of chaos pinkie pie ran off to join the other elements and I took a stroll around the town that I hadn't seen in daylight in three years. By the time I got to the town square Discord was turning to stone again. I took out my sword and walked over to him and when he had completely turned the stone the princess of the sun had appeared and was about to take the statue away. Before she could though I hit the statue with the hilt of my sword and the statue came to life again and everyone stared at me as I darkly said to the princess, "This is my revenge, for three years of trying to hunt me down just because I survive by eating animals. Just because I want to survive. Every time you strike down Discord I shall revive him. I won't rest until at least three years of chaos have reined over this world. Besides Celestia the way you run things is so boring. But that may just be because im still used to murder in my world. There isn't any excitement and again, three years of trying to capture Me."

she stepped towards me and screamed, "YOU PSYCHO!!! YOU CAUSE A PLAUGE OVER THE ENTIRE WORLD TO GET REVENGE AT ME?!?!?"

As she took another step forward I slapped her. Everyone, even discord, was stunned silent by that action. They all stared at me as I said, "Yes. And believe me I could make things a lot worse for you. I could hunt down every pony in equestria and torture them to death while you watched and knowing that you couldn't do a thing to stop me."

Discord tackled me and screamed at the ponies, "HURRY, I WONT BE ABLE TO HOLD HIM DOWN FOREVER!!!"

he was right of course and I broke free just in time to escape the stone encasing blast and drew my shield and prepared for the worst. I was not prepared for what happened next.

Fathers come and go

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It was the one person that I feared, the person who even after three years I still feared and respected, the one person who could make me drop to my knees in awe. My Father. He was in a ball of magic, his body bloody and mangled. I ran past the princess to him and started to try to figure out how he had gotten in this state. When I didn't feel a pulse I collapsed in a bawling fit. The man who had kept me sane while I was in my world. He kept my mind from reverting to what it was now. I realized that I had become, I had become a sick shadow of a man that enjoyed torturing the animals that I ate. I had become what I was afraid of. And now that my father was in front me dying all I wanted was to save him, I had reverted to myself. I turned to the ponies and begged, "Please save him, I don't care what you do with me just save my father!"

the yellow one was the first to walk over and look at him. She examined him for a few seconds and then quickly said, "His body is basically broken in every possible way, none of the bones in his arms or legs are even solid anymore."

I looked at her pleading for her to help.

a week passed and thanks to some odd magic that humans had in this world he had completely healed and was waking up for the first time. I stood over him so he would be able to see another human in this world. In the week that he had been unconscious the princesses and I had figured out a way to send him back to our world. They had tried to get me to go as well but I told them that I had to repay them for this and what I've done to their kingdom and its citizens. Not to mention that if I went back I would go back to my boring existence in a mundane world. Here I had a much better, albeit chaotic life. My dad started stirring as pinkie and twilight walked in. pinking just bounded in without a care in the world but Twilight glared at me. I couldn't blame her; I tried to destroy her world out of a misunderstanding. The princesses weren't trying to capture me; they were trying to help me. They had made a substance from plants that gave me the same sustenance as meat, it was surprisingly good. my dad slowly got up and the first thing he saw was me in my armor staring intently at him, he had aged a lot more than me but his tattoos removed all doubt that it was him. He slowly started to realize that he was in a lush room and he looked up at me and asked, "Where am I?"

I smiled in relief as I said, "Well it's good that you've kept your wits after what you just you went through, and you are in the royal city of Canterlot. Welcome dad."

he stared at me mouth agape as he stood up and looked at me. I was taller than him but his beard was fuller and had started to turn gray. I patted him on the back and introduced him to everypony, "Dad, this is Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Applejack, Spike, Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, and Twilight Sparkle."

he closed his mouth and checked his pulse and pinched himself. He looked at me in disbelief and said, "What the hell is going on? Am I dead or unconscious or asleep? Was I drugged?"

I walked over to him and chuckled as I said, "No your fine and I think instead of asking so many questions we should enjoy the last day we will have together. After today in sending you back to be with mom and Kelley."

at that his head sank. His voice was barely audible as he said, "They're dead Cody, and turns out that 2012 was real and Satan attacked the earth about a year after you disappeared. It's been hell on earth for all involved. Jesus brought his army and I've been searching for help ever since the demons snuck into the battlements. We lost our ark-angels that day and we have steadily been losing ground ever since."

I fell to my knees and tears started flowing freely from my eyes. I cried for what seemed like hours but in reality it was only twenty minutes before I stood back up and walked out of the room. I walk the halls of the castle aimlessly until it was time to send him back. As a parting gift the princesses gave him a spear that exploded on contact and magically returned to him whenever he wanted it to. As we said our final goodbyes I gave him a note and told him not to read it until he got back. The note had everything that had happened to me over the past three years and a lucky rabbit's foot courtesy of angel. And in a flash of light I lost my father forever.