WOW, there is so much telling vs. showing going on.
This feels more like an instruction manual than an immersive experience.
The world itself is confusing. I can't tell if I'm supposed to be a human or a pony, what relevance the "human world" has, etc. It feels very jumbled and discordant.
I mean no offense or anything but I must agree with Winter Storm, I feel like I just read a romance novel for a retard! Its well written and all but there just to much explaining in some parts and none in others.
Good story, very good story, but I have to go with 3778291 and 3826431 ; I feel like I just read a romance novel for the mentally handicapped. A bit more description, if you would.
Wow. She really is nice... She's like a red Rarity! 8D
I love this!
Best way to start my day off!
I'm loving this build up !! You are good at that =)
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! BEST STORY EVER~~~~~
WOW, there is so much telling vs. showing going on.
This feels more like an instruction manual than an immersive experience.
The world itself is confusing. I can't tell if I'm supposed to be a human or a pony, what relevance the "human world" has, etc. It feels very jumbled and discordant.
I mean no offense or anything but I must agree with Winter Storm, I feel like I just read a romance novel for a retard! Its well written and all but there just to much explaining in some parts and none in others.
I still love the story though, 4/5.
yay!!! i love this
Nice, love it so far will keep reading and see where this goes.
Good story, very good story, but I have to go with 3778291 and 3826431 ; I feel like I just read a romance novel for the mentally handicapped. A bit more description, if you would.
I like this chapter I really do.