Discord's Family Vacation

by DraconequusMaximus

The Impossible Pies!

All was quiet in Sweet Apple Acres, it was early morning & none of the residents or guests were stirring as of yet. However this meant that no one saw the pink blur followed by a few smaller blurs moving nearly as fast. The blurs streamed into the barn without making any noise whatsoever. In the dim room the blurs became shady figures creeping up upon the occupants with unknown intent. Suddenly the largest figure motioned to the others with a nod. The middle one of the smaller intruders reached behind it's back & produced a sleeping rooster complete with nest from seemingly nowhere. How the unconscious fowl had remained as such was anyone's guess, the trespasser placed it on the nightstand delicately as it's hooves would allow. The figure motioned to the other shadowy ponies who took point behind the passed out poultry. They looked to their leader who whispered *now* to them, following their orders they each took a tail feather in their hooves & plucked. The sound of the distressed rooster & the startled screams of Spike & Discord were heard all the way to Canterlot.

As Spike held onto his amalgamated lover for dear life while screaming he saw a perturbed rooster frantically running about in front of four giggling ponies in stealth suits. As soon as everything had calmed down & Discord had opened his eyes the aforementioned draconequus began busting out laughing. Spike was significantly less amused as he was supposed to be on vacation & his alarm clock currently read 5:01AM.

"Pinkie, if you were anyone else I think I'd probably throw you in a dungeon for that." Spike said rubbing his temples.

"Aw, how'd you know it was me." She said removing the mask of her stealth suit.

"Well you're the only one I know that would sneak up on powerful immortal politicians with disturbed roosters & foals." Spike said gesturing to the three smaller assailants. One after the other they removed their masks, first was Strawberry Rhubarb a pink pegasus colt with an electric purple mane. Next was Chocolate Custard, a dark brown earth pony filly with a mane of white & light brown. Last was Banana Cream, an unusually tall & skinny unicorn colt of creamy yellow with a pure white mane. The Pie triplets were four years old & were already picking up Pinkie's abilities, much to no one's surprise. They looked at their uncles with big grins identical to their mother's like they had just done something worthy of praise, which was likely to happen considering their parentage. Nopony had any clue how the triplets were 2/3 anything other than earth pony, as far back as anypony could trace both Pinkie's & Joy Buzzer's families were earth pony but it was merely brushed of as a Pinkie Pie thing.

"My dear Pinkie, training the next generation of chaos bringers so early. You do these old hearts good." Discord said clutching a spot on his chest & another spot were an appendix would normally be. Spike could only roll his eyes & smile at the assorted flavors or crazy he was currently surrounded by.

Before anyone could say anything else both the ordinary door of the room & the door from the apple family barn burst open. The first door revealed several angry armored griffons, changelings, & diamond dogs. Through the other a very worried looking Applejack. Nobody said anything for a few minutes but everyone shared confused looks at each other.

...

"Are you okay your majesties?" A griffon guard asked after the awkward silence had cleared. Spike shot an angry glance at Discord before looking back to the guard.

"Yes we're just fine, we needed accommodations for the night so we came back to the castle. Nothing to worry about it's only a code D." Spike said as calmly as he could manage. The guards acknowledged him & saluted before exiting. Everyone was silent for a moment before Spike's annoyance resurfaced.

"Discord, I thought you just made a replica of our bedroom? Why are we back at the palace, & how did AJ & the Pies get here?" Spike asked turning to his husband.

"Well... I may have linked the spaces together so we're technically still in the barn & at home." Discord said playing with his tail nervously. Spike merely sighed before standing up & walking to the regular door.

"Come on everypony, as long as we're here we should get some breakfast. Discord, go get Draco & the twins & you're off the hook for messing with the fabric of reality again." Spike said as he showed the others to the hallway. Discord made a sigh of relief before he saluted & walked out the barn door. As the group walked down to the dining hall Applejack trotted closer to Spike & looked up at him.

"What exactly is a Code D?" She asked genuinely curious.

"Code D is when something weird or impossible happens because of Discord but results in nothing to worry about. The guards know to ignore anything strange for an hour or so after the call." Spike said as he waved at some changelings that appeared extremely busy.

"Excuse me for a minute." Spike said to the group as he went to talk to them. As Spike was chatting with them Discord appeared with Draco & the the Apple twins.

"Draco!" All four Pies yelled excitedly in sync as they lunged at him. Draco was quite fast in the air but unfortunately he was on the ground & half asleep. He was immediately made the center of a bone-crushing group hug.

"H-hi Auntie Pinkie, hi guys." He said through the walls of pony flesh he was entombed in. He managed to wriggle out & float above the group & regain his lost breath. The Pies were immediately sharing smiles & wide eyes as they saw Draco hover above them. Strawberry Rhubarb took wing & joined him with a huge smile.

"We can totally play flying games now! Auntie Rainbow has been teaching me when she visits." Strawberry said with a smug sense of accomplishment. Draco was immediately jealous & quickly tried to come up with a way to top his little cousin. Inspiration struck him & he looked at Strawberry with an even smugger expression as he changed color to match Pinkie's coat color. The Pies shared a look of wonderment before they all began shouting out color requests at the little draconian. He did his best to keep up with the demands but soon got a headache & returned to his original shade of pastel green.

"Okay, that tired me out. Can we go eat now?" Draco said as he turned to his Papa. Discord merely nodded & poofed them all into the dining hall including the changelings & Spike. Spike looked behind him to see the other group taking seats at the table he sighed & motioned for the changelings to join them for breakfast. The insect ponies merely shrugged & took their own spots at the lengthy table. A server came out to take their orders as soon as Spike rang the bell on the table. Everyone was instructed to order anything they wanted, as the staff knew how to make nearly anything. The only order they had trouble with was Custard's order of three chimmy-cherries & two cherry-chongas, fortunately Pinkie was able to explain them to the server.

After breakfast Spike told the changelings to keep up the good work & that they would resume their duties in a few days. The Apples departed back to Ponyville through the barn, but the Pies decided that the palace was much roomier then their home so more fun could be had. Spike reluctantly agreed but made them Pinkie swear to leave the changelings & guards alone so they could do their jobs.

"So, what's on the agenda Pinkie?" Discord said as he magicked a list & quill into her hooves. Pinkie merely stepped on Spike's foot making his mouth open like a garbage can while spitting fire. She threw the list into the inferno reducing it to ash before Spike forcibly shut his mouth with a claw.

"We don't need a list silly Billy, but we're gonna have fun!" She said taking a triumphant stance as an explosion of confetti & streamers seemingly from nowhere appeared behind her. The party mare extraordinaire pulled out a shiny new party cannon from somewhere behind her. Spike noticed that the triplets were doing the same. Before he could say anything there was a loud boom & flashes of color everywhere. When the multicolored smoke had cleared the large room they were in was decked out in streamers & party games had been set up everywhere in the blink of an eye.

"Pinkie there's only seven of us, isn't this a bit much?" Spike asked motioning to the bright decorations. As soon as he had finished a loud knock was heard at the door. Pinkie giggled & snorted as soon as it was heard. Draco floated over to answer the door. Beyond the door must have been a hundred citizens of the Chimera Kingdom of various species. Spike recognized many of them as castle staff or employees of places Spike & Discord frequented.

"Pinkie, did you organize a party for us from a different country with people you've never met before?" Discord asked as if it was an everyday occurrence. Spike however caught on that the two had been in league in this.

"Yup, you'd be amazed what the right font on a party invitation can accomplish." The crazy mare said with a smile.

"Okay, just checking." Discord said before snapping his fingers creating tables, chairs, & food & drink for the various guests. As everyone filed in Draco flew around excitedly greeting all the creatures he recognized. Spike knew that everyone would be too disappointed if he ushered them out. He sighed & reminisced at this classic Pinkie moment. Before long the party was in full swing with everyone laughing & socializing. Spike was very impressed that no one had spilled the beans about the party before now but decided to go with it. He walked over to the snack tables to get himself something but noticed a distressed looking Custard hiding behind one. He walked over to his niece who looked up at him with sad eyes.

"What's wrong? I don't think I've ever seen you so sad before Chocolate." He said to the little filly. She looked back to the floor not wanting to meet his gaze.

"Daddy is on tour with the circus, he couldn't come with us to see you & he won't be home for months." She answered nearly at the point of tears. Spike picked the filly up & hugged her.

"Now now, I know what it's like not to see a parent for a long time. Twilight is always so busy I hardly get to see her & she's my only parent. But no matter what, they love us. You know that, right?" He said holding the filly out in front of him. Chocolate was nodding but was still a bit down.

"You know, you have your mother, & your siblings with you & you've got us too. We're all here to make you smile Chocolate, now how about we go find your mom?" Chocolate hugged him tight & smiled through the tears as they headed off to find Pinkie.

After Spike had found Pinkie he really enjoyed the party. Even though he knew all in attendance he never got a chance to spend time with them. Pinkie had traded her day alone with them to make Spike, Discord, & Draco happy. Classic Pinkie Spike thought to himself. As the party wound down Spike noticed a large group standing around something. Upon walking over he saw it was Pinkie having a staring contest with his son Draco. Pinkie had a cheering section comprised of her children & Draco's was comprised of Discord & some castle staff. Pinkie was beginning to falter & sweat, she had never faced an opponent so good before. Draco was sitting there smugly with a taunting grin across his face. Spike pushed through the crowd & gave his son a disapproving look.

"Draco, we both know that you have a second pair of see through eyelids for underwater." Spike said looking at his son with arms crossed. Pinkie blinked, got on her hind legs & pointed at Draco.

"Cheater! I knew no one could beat me at a staring contest!" She yelled. The crowd gasped & Draco looked around for an exit, he was completely surrounded. He knew he was got, he floated in front of Spike obviously feeling guilty.

"No desserts after dinner for a month after our vacation ends, you can have some coral as a snack after nap times but that's it." Spike said wagging a clawed finger at his son. The Pie triplets gasped & hid behind their mother, as they feared their own rations of sweets would be in jeopardy next. The crowd was laughing a bit, not doing much good for Draco's deteriorating mood. The party was ending about an hour later, the castle staff members stayed to clean while everyone else went home. Spike made sure to give them a little extra pay for the unscheduled clean up. The party had lasted all day & the hour grew late, the Pies said goodnight & returned home with a large basket of the impossible fruit that grew on the trees of the Chimera Kingdom. Pinkie was ecstatic as she had been wanting to try baking with them but they were still expensive in Equestria. Draco was put to bed despite his numerous claims of not being tired & fell asleep quickly. Discord unlinked the barn & the bedroom before he & Spike went to bed. Only three days into their week long vacation & they had already had so much fun. Tomorrow was another day, one with high expectations.

Author's Note:

I had the staring contest idea before I had thought of anything else for the story. LOL

Next Chapter: Heads In The Clouds

Comments

[Changeling-Drone]

CHEATER

[Bad_Seed_72]

Nopony beats Pinkie in a staring contest!