Today’s Forecast is Cloudy with a Chance of a Red Cyclone Suplexing Bears.
Discaimer: My Little Pony and its characters belong to Hasbro, Lauren Faust, and others. Street Fighter and its characters belong to Capcom.
Cloudy With a Chance of Hairy Russian Wrestlers From The Sky
By: Your Antagonist (VegaKS03)
Round 1: Today’s Weather is Cloudy with a Chance of a Red Cyclone Suplexing Bears.
North America: World Warrior Tournament
“Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!” The chant resounded through the arena, as the spectators waited with fervent anticipation for the fight of the century. In one corner of the ring stood an obscene massive muscular monster of a man wearing nothing but a red speedo and matching boots, a gold belt, and a smile. The hair on his head had been shaved into a mohawk, while the hair on his shins gave off the impression that he had been kneeling on ferrets fifteen minutes prior the match. This man was none other than Zangief the Red Cyclone, a national hero in his native land of Soviet Russia, and at the moment he lumbered his way towards the center of the ring in preparation to properly greet his opponent.
“Hello comrade.” The giant grinned as he stomped his way to the center of the ring, his hand outstretched in a gesture of sportmanship. “Come, let us have a fun and fair fight!”
The blue-gi clad man who stood adjacent from Zangief merely spat on the ring and slapped the giant’s hand away. “Fun? Fair? What are you, five years old? You must be as stupid as you are large. Heh, This’ll be an easier victory than I thought.”
Zangief was none too enthralled to have his offer of friendship declined by an incredibly rude and disrespectful individual, and it showed in the Red Cyclone's face as his smile faded into a scowl befitting of a brute. Zangief had originally been looking forward to enjoying a simple passionate clash of true warriors befitting of Valhalla, but it seemed that he would have to settle for teaching a stuck up brat some manners via face-to-floor style instruction.
“Ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to the Final Round of the World Warrior Tournament!” The announcer's voice cut through the tension like a hot scimitar through sheep’s wool, garnering the attention of the audience, however the two combatants on the dais continued to glare at each other as they eagerly awaited the starting bell. “In the right corner, standing five feet ten inches, weighing in at one hundred and ninety five pounds, from parts unknown, we have the phoenix fist master: Sen!” The audience roared forth with tremendous applause, but Sen seemed to pay it no mind.
“In the left corner, hailing all the way from Siberia, Russia, standing at a raw seven feet and weighing in a two hundred and fifty four pounds, he’s a national hero in his home country and a long-time tournament veteran! Ladies and gentlemen please give it up for the Red Cyclone, the grizzly bear menace, the king of Russian Wrestling: Zangief!” If the audience had cheered for Sen, they absolutely erupted for Zangief, and the outburst managed to put the grin back on the Russian’s face. His body was ready.
“Are you ready fighters?” Zangief cracked his knuckles and hunched himself low with his open hands a foot away from his face, while his opponent on the other hand, crossed his arms and spat on the ring again.
"Triumph or Die!” A bell sounded off in the background but it was quickly drowned out in a torrential roar from the crowd as Zangief took off sprinting towards Sen, who had had not changed his stance whatsoever.
Writing Sen’s behavior off as just an easy win, Zangief reeled his right arm back, clenching his fingers into a massive wrecking ball of a fist that he hurled at Sen’s head with herculean might.
“Heh, is that the best you can do?” Sen jerked his head to the side, allowing Zangief’s fist to sail harmlessly through the air, before spinning around and delivering a mighty side kick into the giant’s gut.
The blow elicited a strained “Gwoh!” from Zangief as he dropped his guard and doubled over in pain.
Sen on the otherhand was relentless in his follow-up as he began showering Zangief's body with a flurry of punches. “You’re wide open!” Sen drew his fist back as far as his body would allow him, before driving it into Zangief’s completely exposed face. Upon making contact, Sen shouted at the top of his lungs “Phoenix Flare!” and burst of blue flames erupted forth from his clenched hand, blasting Zangief towards the other side of the ring.
“Ladies and gentlemen, I can’t believe my eyes! It appears that I may have been too hasty when I said this would be an easy win for the Red Cyclone. It looks as though Sen may just give Zangief a run for his money!”
Zangief bounced and skidded along the ground before his weight combined with the coarse surface of stone arena dragged him to a halt. “For the love of borscht...” The giant muttered as he picked himself unsteadily off the ground.
“I’m not through yet!” Sen shouted as he began sprinting full charge at Zangief. The martial artist leapt into the air and cried “Peregrine Fall!” as he shifted his momentum into his feet, enforcing his falling power ten-fold. Sen focused his attack at Zangief’s head, but was taken off guard as the giant stared directly at him, a grin slowly spreading across his features. Zangief had been waiting for this, and Sen took the bait.
“There’s no escape!” Zangief shouted as he sprung to his feet and leapt into the air, his hands outstretched in anticipation. The behemoth took the full brunt of Sen’s kick, but ignored the pain, taking advantage of just how vulnerable his opponent was at the moment. Zangief grabbed the collar and belt of his opponent’s gi, and using them as leverage, jerked Sen towards the ground hard.
“It appears that Zangief has turned the tables in his favor folks, and Sen is completely at the mercy of Zangief. Oh what an upset!”
“Well, where is your arrogance now friend!?”
“Ughh... when I get up I’m gonna kick your—”
“Get up!? Ha! There is no recovery for you!” Zangief reached down, grabbed Sen by his hair, and lifted the martial artist up until Sen’s face was level with Zangief's diamond-shaped patch of chest hair.
“Fight fans, I can’t tell what’s going on, but...” Zangief manuvered Sen in his grip so that he was holding Sen around the waist with both arms, so that they both faced the same direction. “No he couldn’t possibly...” Zangief removed one arm from around Sen, and pointed a single finger to the sky “He is! Zangief is going to finish this fight right now with his signature combination! We're in for one helluva show folks!”
Zangief secured his arm around Sen’s waist again and emitted a shout that possessed such passion it would rebound for miles upon light-years, violating the law of physics as it blew past a planet inhabited entirely by sentient four legged creatures “FOR MOTHER RUSSIA!”
“Come on true believers, you know what this is and you know what to do! Shout it altogether with me now!”
“Ultimate!” The audience cheered in tandem with Zangief, who hoisted Sen into the air, and arched his body backwards, ensuring that Sen’s head made a devastating “Thunk!” as it came into contact with the ground.
“Atomic!” The crowd was still in impeccable sync with the titan’s own wording, as Zangief recovered from his position quickly, and grabbed Sen by the neck and by the belt of his gi. He then picked Sen straight up and then slammed his opponent’s back straight down onto his knee. The crack of bone could be heard as Sen’s body arched and conformed to the shape of the Russian’s knee. Zangief wasn’t done with Sen quite yet however. The giant hurled Sen into the air as I high a he could, and jumped up to catch his prey in an eagle like grip, ensuring that Sen’s head was as unpleasantly placed into Zangief’s crotch as possible. Zangief began to spin his body while twisting Sen’s in a tornado-like motion, which sent the barreling towards the ground below.
The audience shouted “Buster!” as Zangief hit the ground, or rather when he passed through a meticulously placed portal that had appeared on the ground during his time in the air, while the now unconscious Sen impacted the ground head first before bouncing once and laying ever still on the stadium floor. The audience fell into a confused silence almost instantly as they gawked at the stage before themselves, more specifically, the empty Spot where a mammoth, hairy Russian man should have been standing.
“Umm... well... uh ladies and gentlemen, I don’t know how to count this, but it appears that due to Zangief’s sudden disappearance, Sen will be declared the winner.”
The audience was silent for a only a moment longer, before Sen stood up very dazed and confused before he stumbled and tripped onto his face falling unconscious again. In the silence only one man could be heard cheering “Sen! Sen! Sen! Yeah, go Sen! Sen! Sen... Sen...” before the gazes of his peers forced him into an shamed-filled and friendless silence.
Unknown Location: Forest Clearing
There was nothing but blackness, and the sensation of a natural, comforting warmth as Zangief lay unconscious. Only a moment later there was a soft pleasant tickling sensation, followed by a sweet but demure scent akin to wild flowers. The not entirely unpleasant disturbance went as quickly as it had come, and the giant’s sleeping mind wrote it off as nothing but a figment of his imagination.
A moment later he heard some muffled whispering, but wrote this off as part of the dream as well, and resumed his slumber. It wasn’t until he heard a full on ear-piercing female shriek that he jerked into the waking world. As his vision returned to him, he sat up and observed his surroundings, but was confused by what he saw: scorched rocks and charred dirt that were slightly aglow with light from what appeared to be the early afternoon sun. Zangief looked around a little more before he realized that he was sitting in a hole, or more accurately a crater about the size of his body if not more. The shriek resounded again, and Zangief sprang into action as he stood up and pulled himself out of the crater. His sight was filled with the scenery of a forest filled with flora and fauna he’d never seen before, at least none that he readily recognized. After a quick scan of the area, his eyes fell upon the most likely source of the scream: a small girl with what appeared to be pink hair wrapped in a yellow robe cowering before a huge grizzly bear comparable to the bears in Russia.
Needless to say Zangief darted towards the bear with the speed of a bullet, and he slammed his mass into the bear, sending the beast sprawling away from the girl. “You will not harm a hair on this child’s head in the presence of...” Zangief took a moment to flex his bloated muscles in a sentai hero pose before resuming his battle cry. “Zangief, the Red Cyclone of Russia!”
The meek voice of the girl from behind could be heard as Zangief adjusted his placement so he could better defend himself against the bear. “Excuse me sir, but—”
“There is no need to thank me little girl, I wrestle bears back in my home country for practice, this will be no problem!”
“Oh, I think you’re misunderstanding the situation, you see—”
Zangief waved off the girl’s concerns with one massive hand “There will be plenty of time for talk after I have saved you little girl! Now, come at me, bear!” Zangief ran at the now recovering bear with his outstretched forearm trailing behind him. As he was within point blank range he threw his forearm into the bear’s throat, and followed through, slamming the creature into the ground.
“Oh my, this isn’t going well at all... umm... sir, could you please stop attacking that bear? I’d be most—”
“Bear! You will now learn why no-one ever attacks a woman or child in my presence!” Zangief grabbed the bear’s hind legs tightly, and began to spin around in place slowly, the animal’s body involuntarily following suit.
“Sir, could you please stop spinning like that I’d—”
The Russian Wrestler was now spinning with the speed of a hurricane, and the bear began to look ill and dizzy. “Dooorya!!!!” Zangief cried as he swung the bear downwards and up before tossing the creature, bodily, deep into the forest. If there were any witnesses to his feat, they would have claimed that he tossed the bear an impressive fifty meters. “Are you alright, little girl?” Zangief asked as he turned around to properly tend to the child he just saved. He found that she was hiding behind a tree, peeking at him nervously
“I’m fine, thank you for asking, but I wasn’t actually in any danger.”
“Not in any danger? Bwhaha! I admire your courage little girl, but there’s no need to put on such a brave face, that bear was—”
“A friend.”
“What?”
“I brought that bear with me, to help move you from that crater you were buried in. I’m not very strong myself, so I asked him to help move you.”
“Asking bears for help? How is that even possible?”
“Well, it is kind of my special talent,” the girl said as she nervously stepped from behind the tree.
Zangief did a double take as the girl he saved came into sight, and revealed herself to be anything but human. The creature before Zangief was unlike anything he’d ever seen or slammed into the ground. He’d seen horses before, but none that were yellow and pink in color, or that had butterfly tattoos on their flanks. Even stranger about the tiny horse before him was the fact that she had what appeared to be wings jutting out of her sides. The Russian was so taken aback by the creature before him, that when she spoke again, his thought process along with his body froze out of shock.
The horse then proceeded to extend and lightly flap the wing-shaped protrusions on its side, taking flight as well as any remaining sense that Zangief had recovered from acknowledging that a horse was talking with him. Not communicating, but talking.“Umm, are you okay? Hello?” The yellow horse began waving a hoof in front of Zangief’s face, but the dumbfounded giant could only stare forth blankly.
“Get away from Fluttershy, you monster!” demanded a fast approaching voice from behind Zangief.
“Rainbow Dash, no!” Fluttershy’s warning was a day late and a bit short as she watched Rainbow Dash fly straight into the back of the creature’s head, knocking the thing face-first into the forest floor. “Rainbow Dash, why did you do that? He wasn’t attacking me!”
“Are you kidding me, look at that thing! Why if I weren’t here that...” Rainbow Dash gave the unconscious creature a once over before returning to Fluttershy. “...whatever the hay it is might have tried to eat you alive!”
“I don’t think so, he kept talking about saving me.”
“Yeah, saving you for dinner I’m willing to bet. Come on, let’s drag this thing to Twilight, she might know what it is, and then we can figure out what to do with it. Besides that, there's been ursa sightings in the area, and I don't think we want to run into any of those right now.”
"Oh, dear, ursas? I hope that they don't blah blah, show up, blah, ponyville, blah blah"
Zangief’s mind couldn’t keep up with what going on anymore as the conversations between the yellow creature and its companion turned to gibberish and white noise in his ears, and his mind drifted back into the blackness. He didn’t know where he was or how he got there, but at the moment, his mind demanded rest and some time sort out everything that had just transpired. The last thing he felt before he lost all consciousness completely was the the soft pull of furry legs grabbing him and hoisting him into the air.
Round 1: K.O!
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This'll be like my 10th HiE story tracked right now. Hells yeah.
I wasn't sure about this when I say it, then I saw the comedy tag and decided what the hell. You got me laughing, I which I guess means you did your job.
Didn't you submit this almost twelve hours ago? FIMFiction's working slow today.
That title alone makes me both want to read this and cower in fear
This is hot.
379474
You are not the only one.
That was great, I require more.
To simply put it: I love this.
No offense but you should've used Guile. That way his theme would go with everything.
You, Sir, Have incredible theme song video picking prowess. The music on the video ended just as I got to the part where Zangief disappeared into the portal.
Tracking and Favorited.
Oh sweet merciful Celestia, I'm not even a SF fan and I'm already giggling like a schoolgirl reading the description xD
This is gonna be a riot
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Anyone that can place my hero Zangief on equestria and make a good story out of it definitely is my favorite writer.
>Valhalla
Wait... so he's a Russian Viking?
First I read a Saxton Hale crossover now THIS. This wonderful masterpiece of classical literature.
Oh goodness gracious gratuitous golly, I didn't think this story would garner so much attention..
379473 There's actually a big timezone difference between myself and the rest of the world seeing as I reside in Hawaii, so it's actually less time than you'd think.
379464
Muchos gracias!
379529 If catch up with my other projects, I can give you maybe 1 or 2 more chapters before I have to leave for the entirety of next month.
379587 It wouldn't work quite as well, also for your suggestion
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379789 It's just a metaphor I like, now please excuse me as I faint, one of my favorite authors is tracking my story.
Nice story man, keep it up. Also, how often will u be updating this?
381272 Well, I unfortunately have some business out of country for the entire month of April and first week of May, so I most likely won't have access to the internet, but after I get back I'll be balancing it with my other three ongoing stories. Maybe about two or three times a month after May. I intend to put a second chapter and a "bonus" chapter out before I leave next Friday.
I ... what ... guh ...
YES.
Though that thing with Rainbow Dash was cheap. One-touch KOs belong in shit like MVC or Arc System games, not Street Fighter!
Please tell me Zangief is going to wrestle an Ursa Major.
That was... Well, I don't know what to say about what I just read. Is it epic? Is it hilarious? is it an unholy abomination that I should never admit to having read, when in polite company?
Yes, to all of the above. With a title like that, it's like a black velvet painting of mr. T; you can't NOT look at it. And I'm glad I did.
you liar!
you didn't wrote anything about the clouds!
how can we be sure that the day is cloudy!?!?!?!?
(this chapter is hilarious!good work!)
Now if anybody could make a street fighter and mlp:fim crossover starring my favorite street figher character Cody Travers.
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379702
I can't forget that scean. The Swedels String Shot attack realy made Ash look a bit funny.
How high did he fall from to make the creater?
I'm sure that the bear regrets helping Fluttershy that day.
Celestia, I love my imagination, taking care of visualizing that scene.
"speed of a small tsunami"
Err... getting' the feeling that there might be an intent error there...
Never played street fighter, or, if I have I don't recall doing so. Still this promises to be amusing.
I'm rather fond of most HiE stories, so I've read a bunch of them. But of them all, I have never read one where the human gets to Equestira by power suplexing someone so hard he breaks the universe. Loving this story so much, just from the first chapter.