A single event opens the eyes of Twilight to something she had, for so long, denied. The depth of the love she discovers will forever change what she values and will lead her on the first steps of a journey that will affect the future of Equestria.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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this is interesting...
3619386
Split it right before the story about the knife and right after the bookshelf falls on AJ. That should work. You might have to edit it a little bit after and maybe add a little style, but that's where your best breaks will be.
A chapter might still be lopsided, but not the behemoth it is now.
Pacing is a little odd here and there with a few grammatical errors, but it isn't all that bad. Characterization is kinda funky...can't really describe it anyway else. Especially with Celestia and Applejack(May be plot device, dunno).
12-18-13 WOAH!!
An Apology.
I was getting worried about readers losing interest so I thought I'd spice things up with a racy but unnecessary scene where Twilight has to relieve her tensions/desires "solo". MOMENTS later BANG! Thumbs down. MOMENTS later BANG another thumbs down. So I pulled it back from publication and I'm going with what I had originally written.
I had broken Steven King's first rule about the craft. (and Applejack's first rule of life!) Be Honest. And I was not. I disrespected the piece and I disrespected Twilight. I was called on it quickly and deservedly. But...frankly I feel deeply honored. I feel like those reading this care about it and slapped me for cheapening it.
I think what I love most about this story is that it only works in the MLP:FIM universe and with these characters.. Moving it to our world just would not work. I consider it a gift and I want to share it. I hope my writing is up to the task.
Don't get me wrong - at some point this piece WILL be moving to the "Mature" section because it has to move there out of honesty. And there it will stay, even if the thumbs down start rolling in by the hundreds, the sex has got to be there and it has got to be graphic. (don't worry, it's not violent - it's very loving) If that offends you I am sorry.(in advance) It was always intended to be there and I will not take it out. It would be obvious and bad writing.
Those of you who gave me the thumbs down - if it was for any reason other than my assumed reason stated above. please let me know.
"My wife tells me that since I’ve become a Brony I’ve been a much happier and nicer person. Thank you all so much.
I hope you enjoy this…"
Thats good I'm happy for you
Is this a shipping betwen AJ & Twilight?