Anon in Equestria

by Bastinator

Chapter 3: A New Life

Day 13 in Equestria. It’s been a few days since you’ve moved out of Twilight’s library. Apparently Twilight was able to pull a few strings with they mayor, setting you up with a cozy cottage near the edge of town. Twilight wasn’t particularly trilled with the idea, but you both knew you needed a little privacy of your own. You still go back for your magic lessons and some nice conversation from time to time.

Since that party you’ve grown pretty close to Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie. She’s made sure you feel welcome in Ponyville, something that you’ll never be able to repay her for. She’s always there to put a smile on your face. Rainbow is in a whole different ball park. After High School, you spent most of your time sitting on your ass, and man, are you paying for it now. She has kept you on your feet and off your ass with all your races and workouts. You’re thankful she wasn’t your wrestling coach or you might not have even made it here alive. Though she is certainly a hard ass, she can also be pretty laid back. She still pressures to drink, trying to add another thing to compete at, but you feel like you can tell her anything.

The rest of the Mane 6, on the other hand, hasn’t had such a connection. Rarity sends you new clothes on occasion, but word down the olive branch is that she’s been gossiping about you. You still owe her for the suit, but it could be worse. Fluttery has mainly kept to herself. You have caught her sneaking around your house though, it kind of creeps you out. Now Applejack always seems to be busy. You’ve helped her out at the farm, bucking apples a few times for some spare bits, but that’s about it. Overall, life is good in Ponyville. Good at last.

”Just clear your mind Anon.” Another magic lesson with Twilight. Current exercise, Defense Magic. You concentrate, raising your shield, eyes peeled for the next attack.

“Ready.”

Twilight nods, hurling several purple orbs at you; they burst into flame as they hit your shield. Two more orbs fly in from your right. You take a quick roll backwards, narrowly dodging them. Twilight disappears in a flash of light, teleporting behind you. You drop to your knees, ducking under another set of orbs.

“Solar Flare!” A burst of light blinds Twilight, allowing you to escape. Thanks Tien.

You give Twilight a few seconds to compose herself. ”Very good Anon. You did some extra reading it would seem.”

“What can I say? I just took your advice.”

”Well, I thinks that’s enough for today. You can take the next few days off, just finish the rest of Marelin’s Magistrate and work on that barrier.” You give her a quick hug before rushing out of the practice chamber.

“Thanks again Twilight, see you soon.” You step out of the library, the sun high in the sky. You almost don’t hear the screech of an oncoming pegasus.

You continue walking home, even as Rainbow attempts a crash landing on your position. You almost lose your balance while Rainbow forces herself on your shoulders. ”Sup Anon.”

“Besides you? Nothing, Twilight just gave me the next few days off.”

”Sweet, got any plans?”

“Not really, just reading and sleeping if I can help it, you?”

”I’ve got cloud duty today. After that I’ll probably head to the club, wanna come?” Another chance to hang out with Rainbow Dash? Sign me up.

“Sure. Say, you think I can help with cloud duty? I’ve been meaning to test out a few spells, but I never got around to it.”

”Fine, you can help with any clouds I miss, if there’s any left by the time you catch me.” Dash soars into the sky, giving you a smile. “Try and keep up.” Challenge Accepted.

By the time you catch Dash it feels like your right lung might explode. “God…dammit… Dash…”

Rainbow bursts into laughter at your displeasure. “Stop acting like such a filly Anon. At least I left you a cloud or two. You place your hands behind your head, trying to catch your breath.

“I really need to get back in shape.”

”Too bad, just hurry up will you? You know I hate waiting on you.” She blushes before heading back into the sky. Where’s some of Popeye’s spinach when you need it?

After a few minutes you catch your breath, Rainbow obliviously relaxing on a nearby cloud. Payback time? Payback time. You cut a hole in the cloud, Rainbow falling in panic. “Yo what’s the big idea?!” Flustered Rainbow is flustered.

“What the matter Dash,” you chuckle, “Can’t take a little excitement?”

”Pfft,” Rainbow scoffs while trying to hide her blush, “you going to do something cool or just keep being you?” Bitch just tried to rustle your jimmies.

“You’d better put on a helmet, cause I’m about to blow your mind.”

Rainbow rolls her eyes, calling your bluff. Remember the steps Anon. Clear, focus, control and let the magic do its work. You raise your hand, a green sphere forming at your fingertips. Think of something clever… Hurling the sphere at the cloud, “Precipitate this!” Fuck you’re a nerd. The ball slowly fades from view as it approaches the target. 3,2,1, Impact!

You wait… and wait… and wait… Nothing happens. Rainbow places a hoof on your shoulder. “It’s alright Anon; no one gets it right the first time, except me of course. I’ve got thi-“

“No! I refuse to be beaten by a fucking cloud!” You’re practically fuming at this point. “Hit it.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Jmty_NiaXc starts to play.

”Where di- nevermind I don’t want to know.”A wild Cloud appears. Anon used Rustled Jimmies. Anon is charging his Jimmies. Enemy Cloud used Reinforcements. Enemy Cloud has transformed into Super Cloud.

Anon has finished charging his Jimmies. Anon used Chaos Ball. It’s super-effective! Enemy Super Cloud has fainted. Anon gained 300 Exp. Points! Anon got 20 bits for winning!

Total Annihilation. That cloud never stood a chance. “Suck it cloud! Never underestimate the jimmies! You can see it now Anon: The Cloud Destroyer… ok that is pretty shitty. “Damn Dash did you see that?! Dash!

She’s frozen in place, haw hanging open and wings practically erect. You charge at Rainbow, hugging her with all your might. ”I-it rained m-m-money…” Dash mutters, her face dark red.

“Who cares, my spell worked damnit.” You set her down, picking up the various bits off the ground. “The money is just a really weird bonus, and if it makes you feel any better…” Lowering your voice. “Drinks are on me tonight.”

That’s all it takes to perk her up. Free alcohol is simply an offer she can’t refuse. “All night? She asks, still frozen in place.

”All night.“

”Bucking sweet!” She takes off into the sky, turning right back to you. ”I’ve still got a few sections to clear, meet me at the club at 7:00?”

“Just don’t keep me waiting.” With that she bolts off, leaving you alone for the trek home. You stop at a café on the way home. Getting used to an all vegetable diet sure isn’t easy. Belly full, you reach your home. You place your newly acquired bag of bits on the counter before heading upstairs to your room. What’s the time, 3:00? You’ve got time for a nap right? Your strip off your shirt and pants. *squee*

The fuck was that? You adjust your weight, trying to see if it’s a loose floor board. Doesn’t seem like it, so you shrug it off. Laying on the bed you check your To-Do list, a habit you picked up from Twilight. Morning run, check. Class with Twilight, check. Yadda yadda yadda. Pre-bed excercises? No check. Pre-nap push-ups and sit-ups it is.

Twenty seven, twenty eeight, twenty niiine *squee* “Ok, what the hell is that?” You stand up and survey the room. Everything looks fine, but you know something’s up. Could just be air coming under the window. You make your way over to it, checking for any abnormalities. Nope, window checks out. The tree outside does catch your attention though… it kind of creeps you out. It sort of reminds you of that tree in Poltergeist, except this one isn’t dead and has yellow wings… Damn you really are slow aren’t you?

You prop open the window, trying to stare in Fluttershy’s eyes. “You could have just asked to come in.”

”Eeeh!” she squeaks when she’s been discovered. “I’m sorry, I was uh, around s-so I uh…” Poof! She’s gone. Everyp0ny sure has been acting strange lately. Whatever… You close your window and finish your push-ups. You’ve still got a good two hours before you meet up with Dash. You lie back, and close your eyes. *squee*

“Fucking Fluttershy.”

I guess you won’t be having that nap after all. It’s hard enough to sleep during the day, when there aren’t people watching you. Screw it, you’ll just get there early. You scramble off the bed, donning some of Rarity’s new clothes, thankfully pulling back on the formal stuff at your request. You head downstairs and into the bathroom, miniscule in size compared to Rarity’s, but she is a woman after all. After a quick drain of the one-eyed snake, you decide to check yourself out in the mirror.

All things considered, you look good. All you need is a shave and a haircut, and you’d look even better then when you got here. One alteration spell later, and you’re better than ever. You give your teeth a little brush, not wanting to risk messing up your dental work. You’re becoming a homo fast aren’t you? Enough, you look fine as it is. You grab an apple from the kitchen, it having to pull dinner duty, and adding some more bits to your bag before heading out the door.

The club you and Dash are meeting at is called The Broken Record, Dash’s favorite. It got its name from some DJ called Scratch, who apparently kept the music going for an entire week, breaking the previous best of five days. You haven’t had the pleasure of hearing Scratch yourself, but she does have quite the rep. You head on inside, ready for a wild night.

This place sure is something. The dance floor is packed to the rim with ponies, jamming it out to the music. Turns out that Scratch is off today, again… You spot Rainbow by the bar; apparently she got the same idea of getting here early. You place a hand on her back, taking a seat on the stool next to her. “I hope I didn’t keep you waiting too long.” She turns to you, wings bursting out, knocking out a couple passersby. You can’t help but laugh. “Want a drink?”

”Like you have to ask.” You motion the bartender over.

“I’ll have a…”

”Applejack Daniels.”

“Yeah, one of those for her, and the strongest brew you got.”

”Hold up Anon, think about this for a sec.” Her words give you a pause. ”If you think I’ll sit here and watch you drink that moonshine you are out of your mind.” You guess she doesn’t want you to hit the hard stuff so soon. ”Make that two sets of moonshine barkeep!” Like a true drunk.

Bits exchange hooves and you turn back to rainbow. “Once a drunk always a drunk.”

”Hey I have a reputation to maintain, I can’t have some new guy downing the hard stuff, while I just watch. Someone needs to put you in your place.”

“Be careful not to bite off more than you can chew Dash.”

”You couldn’t take a sip of an Appletini a week ago, and you think you have what it takes to go the mile with Rainbow Dash? I’m gonna make you eat those words.” Two shots of moonshine are slammed in front of us.

“We’ll see.”

Many hours later… Fucking moonshine. Why do you hurt so good!?! ”Gonna *hic* give up yet?”

“Ne- *hic* -ver…” You down another shot, never knowing what battery acid tasted like until today. “You?”

Dash slams back another shot. “Nope.” Her head collapsing on the bar. You poke her with your shoulder.

“Hey… Wake up!”

”Hsphmrdf.” She can’t even talk right anymore.

“Hey… Wanna *hic* dance?

”Whaaa?” You stumble off the stool, pulling Rainbow with you, your blood alcohol level about .14 now.

“I said… Do. You. Want. To. Dance?” She doesn’t say anything, instead just pulling you onto the dance floor. Pretty sure that’s a yes. You both spend the next couple minutes shuffling about, barely staying on your feet. Losing your balance, you hold onto Dash for support.

“You know… you’re *hic* cute when you’re drunk.”

“And you’re cute when… you’re cute.”

Poof! Another outburst from her wings sends a couple of ponies on their asses. That never stops being funny. “I’ve bee meening to axe… why does, you do dat?”

”Whut you mean?”

“U kno, wit your *hic* wings.”

”Oh…” Rainbow’s face consumed by red. ”They do dat when I’m… with sum…” She isn’t able to finish before she averts her gaze. So that means- Oh... Oooooh… Fucks, fucks everywhere.

Your drunk, she’s drunk. We’re not acting like ourselves, so just tell her we should call it a night. She’ll understand right? I mean why wouldn’t she? Just go with the flow Anon. ”I thi-“ Rainbow’s forces her lips against your own, joining you two together. Why can’t I hold all these fucks?

Bad flow! Flow! Bad! Stop flowing! But it’s too late for that. The deed has been done. The flood gates open. Pandora’s Box unleashed. Rainbow finally breaks the kiss, laying her muzzle on your shoulder. ”Thanks Anon...” Not the feels. Oh god not the feels. God dammit Anon. Why the feels? You got fucks on one side, wanting to push her away, and feels on the other, wanting to hold her in your arms. She shifts her head, nuzzling further into your neck. ”Thanks for everything…” Feels it is.

You wanted this night to be special, a night you both will never forget. Give her this moment you drunken bastard you. You put your arms around her, taking in her warmth. Her breath tickling the hairs on your neck. Pulling back, you gaze into her irresistibly glistening eyes. You lean in, joining Rainbow with a gentle kiss. All is well in Ponyville, all is well.

Author's Note:

Prepare for a change of pace in Chapter 4.

Comments

[Plymouth Superbird]

Fuck yea

[Therisinghero]

3499096 ditto

[Majk]

This is surprisingly fun. Another proof, that ratings don't mean didly squat.

[Chicken Mcnugget]

Was the

One alteration spell later

part a skyrim reference, or is it actually just a magic thing that I don't understand?

[The Crimson Reaper]

7105490 *Popeye theme blares out of nowhere* GOD BLESS THAT SALTY SAILOR!!! *TOOT TOOT*