Is It Everything You Dreamed, Miss Sparkle?

by Arreis Of Avalon

Friendship Zero: Ignorance

Twilight sat, the spell prepared in her mind.She was beyond ready to speak with him again. Her mind had been moderately sane for the rest of the day - discounting those few times that she saw eyes in the bookshelves and spiders who wanted to kill her. She shook her head for the thousandth time today, shaking the thoughts away. She had been going rather mad all day; she was sick and tired of it.

“Ardor had better have some answers,” she said under her breath as she focused on the spell. She had been wary about attempting it, but she was positive she could handle the repercussions. Who knew - maybe casting it again would help the illusions stop. She highly doubted it, and it would most likely cause them to come back, full force, but it was worth the risk for some more answers.

Her horn began to glow, and her mind grew fuzzy. Her vision began to go black as the aura around her horn shifted to the same oblivion. Just before she fell asleep completely, she registered dimly that Owlicious has come to rest next to her. She smiled gratefully for the company before blacking out.

*~*~*~

Ardor, she called out as her library formed around her. Her ears twitched as she heard something - laughter? No… crying. Somepony was crying. It was a heart breaking sound, as though all happiness in the world had been sucked out, leaving the world an empty and miserable abyss. Ardor, please, are you here?

Twilight Sparkle. She glanced around as the ragged voice, sinister yet forlorn; no, he sounded… tragic. Like the sun had gone out. You should not have come here, he whispered.

I had to, Ardor! Please, show yourself and explain what happened today!

You foal… Twilight recoiled as a dark form appeared before her, leaching from the colors of her lucid dream to create a black husk. Holes filled its incomplete body. Its eyes - or the gaping empty holes where they should be - glowed violet, then a sickly green green; its body was surrounded by golden and amethyst armor, royal in design. He looked at her, and all Twilight could feel was sympathy. Tears streamed down his face. She wanted to run, she should’ve been terrified… but as she looked at him, pity filled her heart. See me as you think of me now, then, from those vile lies. See me as you saw yourself today, a hideous, shattered husk of a pony, trying to become something greater, losing themselves to what they thought of as true!

A-ardor, please calm down! T-the dream - Around her, the library shook slightly. Twilight closed her eyes, feeling her horn glow as she held the dream together. Ardor turned his back, his image changing to the one she knew from the night before, the one she had found so soothing. She took a deep breath and sank into a chair, her hooves feeling unstable. Please, Ardor… just sit. Relax.

Ardor glanced at her with those deep, calming blue eyes. Tears still rolled down his face, like silent little raindrops. He sighed softly and nodded, making his way to the chair. He sat gently, resting his head in his hooves against the table. Twilight watched as the wood work became stained with wet spots. Not quite sure what to do, she simply sat there silently.

In the silence, she thought. She thought about the questions she had, and his reaction to the events of today. He had given her no indication in the past of his pain. In fact, he had always seemed happy with his lot in life. He had been part of something great. Finally it was time to ask: where had it all gone wrong?

She heard a sigh. She looked up to see Ardor, sitting back in his chair, watching her with listless eyes. You had questions for me. Ask away. I think I’m ready now. His voice was clearly exhausted.

Are you sure? You sound -

I know how I sound. I know how I sounded. You deserve to have your questions answered. Besides, the sooner, the better. The longer you spend here, the more the world out there gets torn apart.

Twilight nodded. I expect that’s why I had those hallucinations today. After last night…

That is… part of the reason, yes.

Part?

Think back, Twilight. You had them, growing up. You’ve had visions all your life.

Twilight tilted her head. No she hadn’t. Nothing came to mind… well… actually…

Hadn’t there been a time, all those months ago, back in Canterlot, when she had thought she had seen things? Things that weren’t really there? There had been… times. She had seen eyes in bookshelves. Nightmare Moon’s face in an hourglass. Then, that strange dream about Zecora… That time she had seen Pinkie in a mirror, telling her how she had been so close to keeping a secret. There had been plenty of times, in the past, where she had seen strange and unexplainable things. That was normal in a land of magic… right?

Twilight gulped. Maybe… Maybe you’re right… Am I insane?

No, Twilight. I’m afraid… He sighed again. This is my fault, once more. I’m sorry, Twilight, but you have those visions and hallucinations because of me.

Why, though? Why would you cause those things, even unintentionally?

It makes sense. Think of it, Twilight. You have two minds in your head - two totally separate entities are in here, trying to vie for control. I try to keep myself shielded when you don’t talk to me, but each time you access me here, my mind awakes. Your mind and my mind fight, trying to assert dominance.

Twilight sighed. So you staying in my mind caused me to hallucinate?

There are countermeasures in place, of course. I would never just invade your mind and leave you to hurt. I have proper spells and everything else… It’s just… You know my talent. I need power to survive, I…

Twilight thought a moment while he searched for words. Needed power… She thought back to the very first time she had felt foreign magic come to her. Back at the school for gifted unicorns.... When she was trying so very hard to use her inner power… That was when you came to me, wasn’t it? You felt the power I had inside, and you came to me to take it.

Not to take it, Twilight. Please, you must understand… I was dying.

Dying? But I thought you were Immortal.

Ardor shook his head. Not dying in a sense that you can understand. Not yet, anyways. You see, being immortal has its perks, but… imagine it. Living so long you have no connections but to those who are also immortal… Being so… so very alone, all your life, as you watch countless others die. Others you had loved. Imagine it, Twilight. Imagine your friends. Imagine them growing old and fading to dust while you age not a day.

Twilight couldn’t help but imagine it as he said it. It was tragic, and painful… Stuck, unable to do anything while her friends moved on without her. How could she ever… She shook her head as Ardor continued.

I had so few friends… Me, Celestia, Luna… Killian, Castelli and Tikl… They were the only people I had… but…

They ignored you, didn’t they? Ardor glanced up at her, somewhat surprised. I know, Ardor. I felt it today… I lived it, today. It was… so very painful…

What you saw… You saw half truths. Concepts, taken out of the full story. You felt my emotions…

I had some questions…

You ought to make them fast, then. I do not want to keep you here long. Not unless you want tomorrow to be the same.

Twilight nodded. What happened between you and Celestia and Luna? I feel the pain there… and the hunger.

Ardor gulped. Despite not bearing the Element, I stay true to it. I will not lie to you, Twilight… Back then, I… I befriended Luna. She was one of the only ponies who did not fear my true form. She saw it as a sort of reflection of her night, which was equally misunderstood. Celestia, however… She… I fancied her.

Fancied? As in… You loved her?

Not so much in the sense you think. I longed for her, yes… but as a friend. I wanted to have her love me as a friend… I felt so brushed away by her elegance… She was so very powerful.... and oh so beautiful… How does one measure up to a goddess?

Twilight nodded. And what happened? What turned that longing into… into ‘no victory in strength, nor harmony, nor friendship’?

I… I had been ignored so long… So very, very long… I was so pained by it, my powers… I corrupted… He hung his head again. Twilight gulped, knowing simply from his voice how pained he was, remembering this all a second time today. I turned into… into a complete monster… My friends eventually pulled me out of it… But it was never the same… They moved away from me. Nopony trusted me. Luna even distanced herself, but I think she might have trusted me still.

Luna would be the only one to trust you, after you tried to reign down darkness, to try to prove to them that friendship was meaningless… Why would you of all ponies think that? You thrive on that power…

Because it had done nothing for me until that day. Brushed off, ignored… I was in pain, and nopony saw me bleed… But then they saved me, and still ignored me… but I lived. What more could a husk like me ask for?

Twilight, as stealthily as she could, wiped away a tear. Nopony should have to feel that way. I’m sorry…

Don’t be. It is my unfortunate past. Learn from my mistake, and do not allow it to be your future.

And… What about the three changelings?

That was… far, far after… everything…

Everything?

I… I hated being ignored, you must understand… And then Luna… poor, sweet Luna…

Twilight nodded. The elements collapsed, and Nightmare Moon was born.

And quickly banished. There was no other solution… She sought to destroy us, even if it meant finding Star Swirl and ending it, then and there, for us all.

She would kill herself, just to destroy Celestia?

To make her night last forever. The unicorns no longer knew how to move the sun and moon. That was Celestia and Luna’s jobs, so how would they be able to move the moon out of place after they were gone?

That… makes some sort of morbid sense. Suicide terror…

After her banishment, Celestia… made us part ways. Told us that friendship would never die - that it had simply moved on. I tried to plead with her, but she didn’t trust me. She never had, after… He sighed again, shaking his head. She told us all to split up. To take a different part of the globe, and to watch for signed of darkness among the beings of Equestria and beyond. Castelli rose to the occasion… He traveled everywhere, and favored the Griffons. Killian kept the animals in check. Tikl favored your very home, the Everfree, and eventually Ponyville. But I… I was effectively banished to the Outer Lands…

The Bad Lands?

Whatever you choose to call them… That was where my changelings were… Those corrupted foals, who had no Luna to guide them back to friendship’s bliss now. They became my ponies, the only things I could help… But even I was misguided as them. I only sought love… and that was all they sought, then.

So because Celestia wronged two immortals… catastrophe struck… Twilight groaned. She seems to have just as many mistakes in her past as anypony else, but they have such great repercussions… She forgot her sister, which led to her sister being banished. She brushed you off, which led to a new and dark race being born, one that has become more legend than truth.

She made a great many mistakes… Ardor’s eyes hardened. Twilight was almost surprised at how much malice was in those usually calm seas of blue. Those mistakes are why I now hide, here, in you Twilight. I hide from her and her reign. I am scared for my life.

Why? Why would you be scared, if she can only kill you if she kills Star Swirl?

Because… she knows ways around such spells. Think of it, Twilight. Banishing her sister, her immortal sister, the Element of Magic, for 1000 years? That took a lot of power.

But she had the other Elements on her side…

But who wielded the Element of Magic, in Luna’s place? Twilight’s eyes widened. She did. And even then, she created an Empire alone. Canterlot. She made that, all on her own, while all of her only friends, the only ponies she could ever trust, were sent away. She had no friendship then. She watched ponies fade to dust for 1000 years… And no one ever questioned, ever considered, if it was time for her to step down, even for a week, month, day or year, to relax? To seek us out? Yes, I am scared, Twilight. I am scared of what she has become in our absence…

But she is a perfectly good ruler and teacher… Why would she even want to end you?

Ardor shut his eyes tightly. She… She thinks I was behind Luna’s transformation.

Twilight jumped in her seat. What?!

She thinks I used my Element against Luna. Fed her with lies, then told her I was being honest. She thinks I transformed Luna with my dark ways. She always judged me on appearance… Black, dark husk… Must be how I am, in her eyes.

She thinks you made Luna transform?... But… But she must believe that with good reason, not just…

Think about it, Twilight. In all my years I have spent with you, I have had the power to corrupt you. Turn you against that being I fear the most. And what have I done?

You… You kept yourself hidden, in fear… while I spent nearly every waking day under the wing of that pony you feared the most…

Yes, Twilight. I stayed hidden. I stayed safe. I have put all trust in you, Twilight… I can only hope you trust me to stay here and not harm you…

Twilight watched as Ardor bowed his head lightly. He was respectful… remorseful… He was just looking to survive. He needed power to live. What was he doing to her, other than some silly visions? So long as Twilight began to leave him alone, and stay away from sleep spells, they would be just fine. She could live with a few visions. Besides, this might give her some insight into Celestia’s past… She had always longed to know more about her elusive teacher.

What do you say, Twilight? If you wish me gone in fear of what Celestia could do to me, then I will leave. I do not wish to intrude if I am unwanted…

That sealed it for Twilight. No, please. Stay. I will not cast you out as they did. Ardor smiled, and Twilight beamed. To see a smile on his face, even after everything that had happened to him - it felt wonderful.

I suggest you leave now, Twilight. I wouldn’t want you to suffer from those hallucinations anymore.

Thank you for being so honest, Ardor… Thank you.

Always, Twilight. Always.

Twilight gasped as she opened her eyes. Beside her, Owlicious hooted. She turned to him, smiling softly. “Oh… Hello, Owlicious… What time is it?”

Owlicious hooted again, pointing towards the clock. It was well after midnight, but the spell had not taken too long. Ardor must have seen to it that she wasn’t under for too long this time. “Ah, good… I can get some rest then…”

Twilight stood, the owl following close behind her, landing on her back. Twilight smiled as she walked to her bed. His company was reassuring, somehow. He had come to her mysteriously one night, and she had always liked his company in the night. “Thanks for staying with me while I talked to my friend, Owlicious. It means a lot.”

“Who,” Owlicious said.

“My friend, silly,” she said with a giggle, playing it up. It was late, and it had been a serious conversation. She needed a laugh.

“Who?”

“He calls himself Ar-”

Twilight?

“Oh!” She cleared her throat a moment, thinking. Was there something I forgot, Ardor?

No, I just wanted to say… thank you… for accepting me.

No problem, Ardor. After all, I’m the Element of Magic now. Of course I would treat you with friendship!

Twilight smiled. Talking to Ardor like that would make it easier and less strenuous on her mind. “Yes, that’ll be much better,” she said with a yawn. She was suddenly very tired…

Owlicious hooted, keeping her awake. She forgot what she had been ‘talking’ about with him. She giggled again. “Alright, alright, I’ll go to sleep…”

Twilight lied down in her bed, covering herself up in her blankets. She fell asleep quickly. Inside, however, the immortal being that took her mind as residence did not sleep. He had never slept. He never needed to. He dropped the foalish form he put on for show for that pesky girl, Twilight. He fit much better into his natural form… His True Form.

A wicked horn, jagged and sharp, took place on his head. Armor shielded his body, black and silver and gold, coiling around the star shaped hole on his chest. His eyes grew to slits, black pupils in a white abyss, longing to be filled with another’s color. Much more comfortable, he cooed, his shadowy body shifting around in the dark oblivion of Twilight’s unconscious mind. It’s good I stopped her from saying my name… Although… I think Castelli knows our secret already…

Owlicious stood on his perch, watching Twilight closely through the night. He shut his eyes as he plucked a single feather out of his wings. It was time to send Luna a message. His eyes glowed purple, and in a sudden, yet dimmed flash, the feather disappeared.

*~*~*~

Luna gasped as she felt something land on her face. Her eyes dimmed as she focused, not on the dreams of her subjects, but the real and mundane world. She shook her head. Off her face, a single feather drifted to the ground. Her eyes widened. “Oh no…”

She ran, quickly, to her sister’s room. It was not far, thankfully. She opened the door to see her sister, sitting up in bed, a similar feather resting in her hoof. They looked at each other, grimly. “It’s time you went to Ponyville, sister.”

Luna nodded. “There’s that holiday coming up. Nightmare Night. I shall use that as my excuse to go. I will make the preparations immediately.” Celestia sighed, looking up at the smooth surface of the moon. Luna trotted over to her sister, resting a hoof on her shoulder. “Tia, you could not have foreseen this.”

“I should have seen the signs in my student… I missed them in her, just as I missed them in you… How could I have been so blind, Luna?”

“He is a master of stealth, sister. He was the Element of Honesty. As such, he knows the manipulative force of lies. He knows when someone is lying. He knows how much lying can hurt. He uses that knowledge now, just as he did then.”

“But Twilight… I don’t want her to be hurt.”

“That’s why we keep her safe, now. Castelli has sent back word that it is indeed Ardor. Tikl keeps watch as much as he can, while still remaining hidden to Twilight and 4 of her friends.”

“4?”

“The Pink One is his safe harbor. She question’s not his ability to speak.”

“That… somehow makes sense. And what of Killian?”

“Fluttershy has kept him safe. He is still in reserve, should something happen and Twilight needs healing. He can help them, if it goes wrong.”

“And none of them know who they used to be?”

“None but Twilight, who knows not that they are there.”

“Good…” Celestia sighed. “I hope this all goes well…”

“It will, Tia. You must have faith.”

Celestia nodded. Luna hugged her softly before leaving for her room once more. Preparations had to be made. She would be visiting Ponyville soon.

Author's Note:

Finally, finished this chapter up~ First post in awhile. Christmas Break, full of homework and procrastination!

Comments

[Dispo_]

So wait, Barry the bear and Owlwicious are previous element bearers, the Nightmare Forces that made Luna go mad is inside Twilight, and said dude created the changelings? Huh, I guess it's go big or go home for you. Just remember, the more you stray from established lore, the more you have to keep track of.

[Arreis Of Avalon]

5465599 Oh yes, trust me, I know. You're talking to the person who, in RP, has killed my main character at least 10 times, and she still has a beating heart. I know how to keep a story going. Its ALWAYS go big or go home to me

[jbwjr]

Luna would be the only to trust you

um what? also the only mistake I could find at least it looks like one so good job.