Is It Everything You Dreamed, Miss Sparkle?

by Arreis Of Avalon

Friendship Zero : Hallucinations

The day begun as it always did. The sun shined brightly, and Twilight had woken up bright and early (thanks to Owlicious). Of course, she felt peculiar today; perhaps it had been the extended spell she had used to talk to Ardor the previous night. She yawned as she opened up the curtains, smiling. She felt like there was something in the back of her mind, but for some reason, she just couldn’t remember it.

Hours passed, breakfast was eaten, and it was time for the everyday chores. “Quill,” Twilight said aloud, levitating her quill to her desk.

“Check!” Twilight smiled at her assistant.

“Parchment?”

“Check!”

“Extra Ink?”

“Check!”

“Extra extra ink.”

“Uh… Check…”

“Is that everything on the checklist,” Twilight asked, glancing at all the things on her desk.

“Yep!”

“Great!” Twilight turned around, smiling. She began to pace, smiling as she circled Spike. “Now that we’ve completed the checklist of things to create a checklist, we can make my checklist of the things I need to get done by the end of the day!” She smiled at him. “Ready?”

“Ready,” he said, raising his quill high.

“Item 1,” she began, “create checklist of things I have to accomplish by the end of the day!” She smiled brightly, but frowned as she heard a long sigh next to her. She glanced at Spike to see him slumped over, exhausted. She couldn’t help but giggle.

Same old, same old.
*~*~*~

“Looks like that’s everything,” Spike said, riding on Twilight’s back as they finally got back home.

“Almost everything,” Twilight said, lying the cupcakes down that she had gotten from Mrs. Cake. They might not have much icing on them, but she was positive her friends would like them anyways.

Spike looked closely at the scroll in his claw. “T...Triple check checklist to make sure we didn’t miss anything when we double checked the checklist? Uh… Check.” Spike groaned as he dropped the quill, looking at his swollen claw. “Oof… I’ve been holding that quill for so long, I’ve got a claw cramp…” He walked to the medicine cabinet and pulled out a bit of bandage. He began wrapping his claw, smiling in relief. “Good thing we don’t have anything to report to Princess Celestia this week. I don’t think I could write another word!”

Twilight dropped the cupcake she was examining. Her eyes widened. That name. Celestia. She had forgotten a friendship letter? But that would mean Celestia would want her to send one. What if she didn’t? Oh no. Oh no oh no oh no. “We haven’t sent a letter to Princess Celestia this week?!”

“What? Is that bad?”

“Bad? BAD?! Of course it’s BAD! I’m supposed to send Princess Celestia a letter every week telling her about a lesson I learned about friendship! Not every other week. Not every 10 days. Every. Single. Week.”

“Huh,” Spike said softly. Twilight glanced at his claw and nearly stopped panicking - hadn’t he just put on a bandage. She shook her head quickly. She was just seeing things.

“Ooooh, where’s my calendar, where’s my calendar?!”

“Uh… Where it always is?”

Twilight grabbed it quickly, disregarding the strange thud against her table and the small groan that followed. “When did we send the last one?!” She flipped quickly through the calendar, past dates and random appointments that she couldn’t care less about.

Spike groaned as he turned toward her. “Last… Tuesday?...”

“And today is... “

“Uh… Tuesday…”

Twilight screamed as she felt… something. It was like a pony was right behind her, breathing down her neck. She straightened up, her eyes wide, sure that someone was behind her. As fast as she could, she ran upstairs. “Nononononono…”

She looked outside her window as the feeling suddenly vanished. What was that all about? Nevermind, she didn’t have time to think about any of that. She watched as the sun moved slowly across the sky. “If I don’t send her a letter by the end of the day, I’ll be TARDY!”

Spike watched her, his eyes filled with bewildered concern. “What now?”

“Tardy, Spike! Late! I’ll be late!” Twilight sighed as she fell back against her bed. “Oooh, how could I have let this happen?! I’m usually so organized! I’ve never been late with an assignment!”

“Maybe it’s all that talking to Ardor?”

Twilight shook her head quickly. He hadn’t just sai-

“Oh please! You’re the most studious student ever!” Twilight curled up tighter in her blankets, wondering why she had thought of him saying that. Was she that concerned about it? Was that the reason why she was so disorganized? “I’m sure the Princess will forgive you over one little deadline!”

Twilight sighed, looking over the bed. “I’m afraid to take that chance, Spike. This is the ruler of all of Equestria we’re talking about, the pony who holds my fate in her hooves!” Her eye twitched as she thought she heard something literally snap. “What if she doesn’t forgive me?”

“Yeaah… I don’t think she-”

Twilight quickly teleported behind him. “What if instead she starts thinking I’m not taking my studies on Friendship seriously?!”

“Why would she-”

“What if she makes me come back to Canterlot,” she said, beginning to pace, “and puts me back in school and makes me PROVE I’ve been taking them seriously by giving me a test?!” She gasped. “What if I don’t pass?!”

“Why wouldn’t you-”

“Because she’s my teacher! Do you know what teachers do to students who don’t pass??” Silence followed. Twilight felt her panic rising - why was she getting so worked up? “They send them back a grade!” Oh yeah. That was why. Completely logical, right? “But she won’t just send me back a grade! She’ll send me back to Magic. Kindergarten.”

What was going on? Why was everything suddenly black? Why did she hear laughing - it sounded like little children giggling. It distorted. It started to sound like buzzing. Static. She was scared. What was...

“Twilight!” She opened her eyes as she gasped. What just happened? Had she blacked out? “That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard! You’re not gonna be sent back to magic kindergarten!”

*~*~*~

Twilight petted her tail, clutching it close. She felt on the verge of tears. She was so getting sent back to magic kindergarten. It was completely irrational for her to feel this way - so why were her emotions running haywire? She almost giggled at the thought of hay being turned into wires. “It’s fine,” she said softly. “It’ll all be fine. Day’s not over yet - but it will be soon!” She groaned as she leaned back against the bench.

She stared into the puddle there. Had it even rained? She sighed as she saw ripples in the water - was she crying? No. She wasn’t. So why were there tears on the ground? Why was she rippling? And why did she see Ardor there?

“It’ll be all over… my time in Ponyville…” Her voice sounded like Ardor’s. “My advanced studies…” Those secret studies I’ve been doing on Ardor. On Celestia’s past. What if she finds out? What if she already knows?

“No, no, Twilight. You’re a good student! You can do this!”

“Oh, but what if I can’t?! What if I can’t hide it from her, what if she finds out?!”

“You can!” She grinned as her voice became something more than her own, something far more demanding and, dare she say it, commanding. “You just have to keep it a secret…” She felt like roaring - like flying. She could fly. She could rule. She was almighty.
TWILIGHT!

Twilight gasped as she came to her senses. What just… “Twilight?” She hardly registered the voice next to her as her mind strayed. What was going on? What was that voice, in the back of her mind? Was that… laughter?...

She sat up, her ear twitching. Her world felt black. All things harmonious had rotted. Before her was a giant spider - somehow, she knew his name. Tikl looked angry. Yes, that was right. She had committed a heinous crime. There would be no victory in strength, nor harmony, nor friendship. Truth had shattered all. Now only she remained.

“What have you done,” Tikl roared, no hint of laughter remaining in his voice. Twilight grinned despite that however; his pain was her joy. Her malice his defeat, and his defeat her delight. Even if her friends were hurt, it made no difference now. Friendship was meaningless now. It held no true magic; only a flimsy facade, just as she had been, before she had truly come alive in the shadow of her sins.

“I have beaten down this veil of truth you deem ‘Friendship’!” She laughed, a cruel bitter laugh, absent of any and all love. “This fantasy you all call the saver of our world; it’s all a lie! And who better to open thine eyes than I? I, God of Truth and all Honesty?! God of your True Blasphemy, yet the universal gospel of sweet perfection! I am the true and almighty God of you worthless foals, and I play to exact my vengeance on you all! As my body and mind were born into darkness, as will you Immortal beings BLEED by the shadows of night!”

She felt so much power. So much hidden potential. She felt weak. So much left to learn. She needed a challenge. She needed a victory. She knew just who to chose to make her nightmare realm - the true mare of the night. The mare of shadow. The Mare of the Moon.

“I am the God of all you hate… of every outcast… and now… it is time for them to Rise up… to Rise as the moon does… and exact their revenge.”

Children laughed. Children screamed. Twilight grinned her horrible grin as the world was engulfed in night. She would win. She would rule. And Celestia would finally learn what a real king could do.

“SNAP OUT OF IT!”

“Huh!?” Twilight shook her head, suddenly finding herself on the ground. When had she… It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered anymore. Something was very much wrong with her. The nightmare - or was it a vision? A hallucination? - had left her blood rushing. What was wrong? Was it last night? Too much time spent with Ardor? What was…

“Are you okay?” Twilight sat up, not answering. She wasn’t sure how to answer. How do you tell someone that young that you just became a horrible monster trying to kill the Element of Laughter? “I’m really worried about you. I mean, this letter thing is really getting to you! Here…” Twilight swayed slightly as he spoke, feeling mildly sick. “You’ve been so anxious all day that you completely forgot about the picnic! Why don’t you just relax and go hang out with your-”

Friends. Memories sprung forth that she didn’t remember - Tikl, Killian, Castelli, Luna and Celestia, all waiting for her. All waiting to play and talk and have fun. That’s what friends do. “The picnic!” She turned, her face holding that same horrible grin from her dream. “I should go see my friends!”

She ignored what the pesky dragon said. What did he matter, compared to Celestia? Compared to Luna? They were so powerful… He just had to be their friends. Ardor wanted nothing less than to belong; and as such, Twilight knew she had to make her hallucinations - no, her dreams a reality. She just had to make them proud.

*~*~*~

Ardor smiled as he saw them all again. It had been so terribly long. All so terribly long. Castelli sat aside, pecking at a mouse. Tikl hummed and clamped his pincers down on numerous balloons, trying desperately to blow them up. Killian talked to a squirrel nearby. Luna… That’s right. Luna was beside him. She always was. They were the best of friends. And Celestia… Oh so powerful. She hardly knew it. How Ardor wished to have her as his closest friend. She lounged, today with shades on, to block out the bright sunlight of her own making. Ardor quickly sat down some baked goods.

Everyone smiled at him, and he grinned back. They were all so happy. Everything was alright. They were fine. Everyone still liked him.

“Hey, everyone, Ardor brought the cupcakes!” Celestia grinned as she sat up, pushing up her sunglasses. Luna chuckled. “Sister, must you always be so happy about pastries?”

Celestia laughed. “You know how much I like cake, Lulu.”

“We ALL know, Celestia” Tikl said. “I think the thing that notices most is your scale!” Everyone laughed except for Celestia, who merely snickered. Ardor couldn’t help but laugh along. They were all friends. He hadn’t destroyed their friendship yet. He could still savor that warmth.

But as he kept talking, throughout their conversation, they dismissed him again. They passed him off as what he had always been. Simply a husk. Nothing. Invisible. Never there. Why did they always brush him away like a stray speck of dust in the wind? Was that all he was to them?

He felt anger. Rage. All of the hatred of thousands of years. He felt… sad. He shut his eyes tightly. He had more important things to deal with at the current time. In a flash of lavender magic, he disappeared.

Causing Twilight to leave the very peculiar conversation with her friends with a groan. Her friends all glanced at each other, mildly concerned, but mostly just confused. “Wow… I’ve never seen Twilight so upset before... “

*~*~*~

Ardor watched the three changelings with tired eyes. They all watched back. He took in their pitiful appearance with nothing but dread. Each were starving; their ribs showed, their wings and body were holed beyond compare, and their eyes shone with desperation. “You poor monsters,” he whispered, almost too quietly for them to hear.

“Call us a monster all you want,” one said with a scratchy voice. “We want no love, nor pity from you…”

“You all will love me,” he whispered. “No one else might… but you will love me… You will be loyal, and kind, and generous, and joyful, more than you have ever been before…” Shutting his eyes, he felt his blackened horn glow a tainted lavender, darker than the very skin of the Changelings before him.

Before his eyes, their skin healed. Their bodies became fully formed, and they grew into tall, lithe forms. Their manes grew, their wings buzzed - but their eyes died as they were overtaken by a dull green glow. “Master…”

“What do you want?”

“You.”

“What do you need?”

“You.”

Ardor smirked. “Welcome to the chessboard, gents.” Twilight chuckled as the three fillies fought.

*~*~*~

They all began to turn away. All of them hated him. They were worthless. They were of no value anymore. All were sickening little leeches. Those ‘Elements of Harmony’... All a hoax.

Ardor looked up from the ground. How was it that She was so powerful, and he so weak now? How could she look upon him with such judgement? Such… Hatred? Such vile?

How was she so lovely?

“Twilight Sparkle,” she called out.

Who was she?

Twilight…

Sparkle….
…
……
………

The damage of the spell she had no control over was done. Celestia had seen to that. And now the Princess, in all her fury, stood before her. Twilight looked at her tiredly. Somehow, she couldn’t work up tears or excuses now. For some reason, all was exhausted - all magic, all will, all life. She simply wanted the day to end.

“Meet me in the Library.”

Twilight stood as the Princess flew off. “Goodbye, girls. If you care to visit… I suppose I’ll be in Magic Kindergarten…Back in Canterlot...” She nearly felt like laughing at the thought. She would be dead. She could only hope she would die soon. Then days such as this could never happen again. In a daze, she walked away.

*~*~*~

Twilight watched Celestia fly away, the smile on her face a mask. Her insides were turmoil. She knew the princess knew, after their conversation. She knew her mentor knew about her strange… possession. She knew the princess knew. Her secret was out.

Twilight sighed. She would be casting another spell soon.

Author's Note:

*yawns* oh my lord I'm tired. worked late to get this up... hope there's not too many errors... i know it can get strange with the hallucinations, but i did my best~