“My heart it sings a song of purest joy.
You enter in and strike me with your gaze.
I cannot breathe; the sweet air that now cloys.
I surrender to you all of my days.”
It was a sonnet. At least… it was part of one. Written in Iambic Pentameter if Twilight Sparkle was reading it correctly. She had awoken that morning, stretched languidly as she briefly considered turning back over and sleeping more, before she finally dragged herself to the bathroom to prepare for the day. And there, resting snugly in the crook of the bathroom mirror was a piece of lavender cardstock with a simple insignia of three balloons embossed on the back. When she had flipped it over she had seen the words, written painstakingly fine in script lettering that would have been a nightmare for any pony who couldn’t use magic to lift a quill, and yet each letter was a work of art in itself, lending to a cohesive feeling of fine craftsmanship.
Absolutely breathtaking. Twilight set the card down carefully, being cautious not to set it where it could get wet, and glanced at her reflection in the mirror. A sleepy grin stretched her cheeks, tugging at the corners without her conscious consent, but she really couldn’t blame them for expressing the warmth she felt in her chest as words tumbled gaily through her mind. Pinkie Pie had written her a sonnet. A sonnet. Or part of one, at any rate. The sound of gleeful humming pinged and echoed around her bath chamber and she glanced around briefly before realizing that the sound was coming from her. She laughed at the ridiculous oversight and continued to get ready for the day.
She caught herself practically prancing throughout the day as her thoughts continued to drift back to that thoroughly romantic card from the mare that had stolen her heart so deftly. Long summer days spent lazing in the cool grass, learning to appreciate the depths that hid beneath a veneer of frivolity that the pink pony wore like a mask, seemed to bind them heart and soul. Perhaps she was waxing poetic herself, but she had never imagined the filly famous for fiestas would be a thinker and a wordsmith. What had she known? She had been so focused on the outward qualities that drove her mad, but now she was driven mad an entirely different way by the inward qualities that were hers alone to know and to love.
She pulled a book down from the shelf and began paging through it when another card appeared. This one was a deep navy color, still embossed with tri-balloons, with letters penned in a lovely silver ink.
“What can I do without you by my side?
Nothing. I am a wretched thing alone.
But with you near I have no need to hide;
My darker side and deepest thoughts you’ve known.”
She stared at the glittering ink for long moments; an incredible sadness overwhelmed her as the words fed through filters of meaning and came back with shades of shame and tints of regret. She returned to her bedroom to place the card in a box on her nightstand, resting it carefully atop the paper that came before.
She could only assume at this point that the remaining piece of the sonnet would pop up sooner or later, whenever her candy mare thought it would catch her off guard the most, she supposed.
The last few lines seemed to haunt her; they contrasted violently with the first set that had inspired such lofty feelings of bliss, of walking on air, when these last only made her hooves drag as if she was being weighed down by the pure volume of melancholy in her heart. Her dear, sweet lover; the object of her most sincere affections, constantly battling waves of self-deprecation. The battle was never won; the troops would never get to rest. She felt fatigue drawing on her shoulders, wanting to pull her down down down until she was prone on the floorboards, struggling no more. How much worse did her Pinkie Pie have it?
The spring in her step was gone. She fretted and considered and worried herself into a tizzy. Spike commented on her knitted brow, and she took pains to set it straight, but to what end? The same depth she had come to appreciate in her dearly loved partner also brought pain. Nights spent, clutching her as tears fell and insecurities lay bare tore at her heart but bound them even closer. She wanted nothing more than to be a shield for her surprisingly delicate friend, and she felt in her heart of hearts that Pinkie Pie felt the same.
Night fell, and she climbed up the stairs to her bedroom once more to attempt sleep. She was alone, painfully alone as Spike had disappeared without a word. She felt drained, worry did that to her, and she was ready to collapse. There, on her pillow was a pink card. A quick check produced the embossed balloons once more, and on the front were elegant letters in flowing black lines:
“My dearest companion, my closest friend;
You are the sweet melody of my soul.
The rest of my life with you I will spend,
Because without you I cannot be whole.”
Tears flooded her eyes, and she quickly turned her head to shield the poem from their rapid descent.
Unable to absorb the breadth of her emotion, she let out a shuddering sigh and murmured, “Two lines missing, you silly filly.”
Gentle hoofsteps sounded behind her and she spun to see the face of her beloved; her features were soft and subdued, her eyes sparked and glinted in the dim light of the lamp with what seemed to be pure, unadulterated affection. She stood still, clutching a final piece of paper gingerly between her teeth, a darker purple in color, with that same silver script that she had admired so, earlier on in the day.
Twilight stepped slowly over to where she stood, peering down at the paper to read the final couplet:
“No words are there for this love I feel now,
Only death will part us if you allow.”
Twilight looked up from the ending of her day long sonnet, confusion apparent on every corner of her face, “I don’t understand.”
The earth pony set the paper on the ground with the utmost of care. She took a deep breath in through her nose and let it out through her mouth before crossing her front legs before her and settling in to a low bow.
“Twilight Sparkle,” her voice seemed strained, like she was trying her hardest not to let her tone waver, “would you please think about maybe someday marrying me?” The earth pony bit her lip before continuing with a voice heavy with emotion, “You are the sunshine in my heart, filling me up, and chasing away all the bad things that want to hurt me. You are my balance and my support, and I would never forgive myself if I didn’t promise to love you forever and ever.”
Twilight crouched down to lock eyes with the now obviously terrified pony, hiding behind the voluminous mass of her wild, curly mane; barely perceptible, she trembled and swallowed, waiting and hoping.
Twilight cleared her throat, once and then twice, hoping that the tears shed would not impede upon her ability to speak clearly, “Pinkie Pie, you are the most incredible mare in Equestria. You are the oasis in my desert of loneliness. You are my joy and my song. And I would have to be the stupidest pony to ever live to reject you.”
A tentative smile, “You’re the cleverest pony.”
A soft kiss, “So what do you think my answer is?”
Unbridled, unequivocal joy that only one could supply and only one could reciprocate. They were bound, heart and soul, in deed and ever poetic word.
Forever.
--Author's Note--
While most stories in this collection won't be connected at all, this one actually takes place in the same reality as Alliteration and could be considered an epilogue of sorts.
Purple prose isn't a problem when you promise it in the title. Right? Guys?
In all seriousness, I wanted to write a sonnet because I'm not rightly a poet but I watched The Raven this weekend and felt the incredible need to try my hand. Let me know if the Iambic Pentameter is off or just flat out doesn't work.
This was so SWEET!
Very, Very touching. I really enjoyed this, and almost shed a tear there. Not that I didn't want to, I just didn't go quite over that precipice.
Sadly, I know more about writing itself than about poetry and sonnets and such, so I can't tell you much there, but I loved it personally, and really felt the emotion. thank you for writing this; Just the thing to help me relax after a stressing final.
That certainly moistened my eyes. Very well written.
HHNNNNNNGGGGG!! I just... I can't... I... -dies-
Now, really, this was beyond sweet, over lovely. Did you really just cover the happier and saddest aspects of Twinkie in under 2000 words? Wow. Just. Wow. And the idea of Pinkie holding the letter with her teeth is adorable. Like in Sonic Rainboom.
I have to confess, I had no idea what Iambic Pentameter was, and I thought Purple Prose was just a play of words for Twilight. But it fits in well, if only as a preview of things to come. But I swear, I nearly cried with the last two lines.
It also fits as a suiting prologue for Donny's Boy wedding oneshot. But anyway, simply beautiful, and a great conclusion for a fic that had ushered in a golden age of Twipie fics. My favorite part?
"You are my joy and my song. And I would have to be the stupidest pony to ever live to reject you.”
A tentative smile, “You’re the cleverest pony.”
A soft kiss, “So what do you think my answer is?”
Just dawww. Dawww everywhere.
558799
Iambic Pentameter is the most commonly used scheme for Sonnets where syllables are separated into couples where the first syllable is unstressed and the second is unstressed. Purple prose is overly flowery and ornate language.
I'm glad that you enjoyed it!
558869
It was pretty funny when he posted that and I was just finishing this up. I guess everyone's got weddings on the brain.
Do not stop writing these Twilight & Pinkie stories there are to cute to be missed
dear goodness I love your Twipie stories; and what should no longer be surprising to me, i started to tear up in joy when Pinkie proposed.
Poem Pedant Spot Check: CLEAR!
Your meter is good, and there was only one awkward bit "Thoughts and deeds I must no longer atone." It's hard to tell what that is supposed to mean. Other than that, though, it's great!
These are awesome, incredible, sweat, excellent, GREAT WORK! I love the whole series.
“My heart it sings a song of purest joy.
You enter in and strike me with your gaze.
I cannot breathe; the sweet air that now cloys.
I surrender to you all of my days.”
“What can I do without you by my side?
Nothing. I am a wretched thing alone.
But with you near I have no need to hide;
Thoughts and deeds I no longer must atone.”
“My dearest companion, my closest friend;
You are the sweet melody of my soul.
The rest of my life with you I will spend,
Because without you I cannot be whole.”
“No words are there for this love I feel now,
Only death will part us if you allow.”
Wow. Great Chapter!
559086
Thanks for the green light! Now I can stop worrying about it.
The line was supposed to be a little confusing without context to allow for reader speculation, but if it detracts from the story I will start considering some alternative lines.
559563
I'm glad! The positive response to our beloved couple The Twinkies is nothing if not absolutely wonderful.
561968
I used a combination of Wikipedia and Shakespeare examples to try and figure it out. I'm still not really sure how exactly it works either.
Thank you for that. The level of comfort I feel writing Twinkie has really allowed me to stretch my wings and experiment with things that I've never tried before, and all these wonderful people have been giving me advice and confidence to keep at it. I can hardly believe how beneficial not only the fandom but shipping has been to my own abilities. While I'll probably not stop writing Twinkie for a long long time, I'm hoping to get struck by inspiration for some other pairings I'm dying to write for like Rarijack and FlutterDash or even RariShy. But a muse is a fickle creature and I must ride the waves as they come.
561968
It's reasonably simple... in theory. There are two elements: 'iambic' refers to iambs, meaning the pattern of stresses used in the words in a poem (Being stressed then unstressed; I once worked with trochees, which are unstressed and then stressed) and 'pentameter' means there are five iambs per line. That's the basic bit
563365
RainbowPiiiiiiiie.
You want to write RainbowPiiiiiiiie.
Just LOOK at them. They are so cute.
WEDDINGS. YES. (Well, my one year anniversary comes up later this month, so I kinda DO have weddings on the brain.) Still, very funny that this went up so close to my latest TwiPie, heh.
You know what's also funny? Almost from the start, I was all, "Oh my gosh, is this gonna be a 'Pinkie proposes to Twilight' story? PLEASE be a 'Pinkie proposes to Twilight' story!" And then I hit this part of the story ...
Unable to absorb the breadth of her emotion, she let out a shuddering sigh and murmured, “Two lines missing, you silly filly.”
And I was all, "She is TOTALLY gonna propose! Squee!"
I loved the sonnet fragments spread throughout the day, and my favorite was the middle portion that was melancholy. I thought that was a nice touch and a nice characterization of Pinkie. And I loved Pinkie personally delivering the final couplet. Love, love, LOVE.
I keep going back and forth over how I feel about Pinkie being the author of that sonnet--it doesn't sound like her, but I imagine that's the point. She's showing off a side of her that she doesn't often to get to express, because it's a side that Twilight DOES get to see, and she's also showing off for Twilight and trying to impress her. I envision Pinkie spending weeks, if not months, writing and rewriting the sonnet, working her butt off to make it good enough for her beloved Twilight. So I think, ultimately, I like it.
As for the sonnet itself ... well, perhaps I'd best state my creds, first. I was an English major, and my area of specialization was Renaissance drama and poetry. Unsurprisingly, iambic pentameter and sonnets are old, dear friends of mine. The structure of the sonnet is very sound. There's the correct number of lines, correct number of syllables per line, and the correct rhyming scheme. Which is no mean feat, in and of itself, as sonnets are a very constrictive structure.
I did notice a few lines that didn't quite seem to have the right cadence. Because sonnets are iambic, they ought to be read as such: “My HEART it SINGS a SONG of PURest JOY." (That particular line flows quite nicely, by the way.) There were a few lines where, if read as iambic pentameter dictates, emphasis would be given to odd words or the overall flow would be stilted. Dunno if you've any interest in developing your sonnet-writing skills, but if so, you might want to read the sonnet aloud to check for proper cadence. It also can be helpful to tap a desk or something as you read aloud--one soft and short tap, followed by a louder and longer tap.
563760
I do like Rainbow Pie. A lot. And they were my first ship, so I have a lot of feelings for them. But dang it all if I can't think of a single thing for the two of them. (Plus, I'm kind of getting the feeling that my Rainbow Dash characterizations need a bit of work.)
I can't help it! I really do like that dynamic! And no matter how much I try to avoid it it still manages to slip in.
I probably could have stood to wait a bit and put some distance between the two. Sorry about that.
I was wondering about the plausibility of her writing the sonnet, especially due to the language used, but in the end I got a lovely little image of a Pinkie on which Twilight has rubbed off enough to allow her to plan and work and rework something that she considered important. I also decided that this particular Twilight was one who enjoyed the written word and would express to Pinkie on their little outings how much she loved sonnets, thus giving the pink one the idea and the drive to make it as good as possible. She probably fielded the earliest attempts to Rarity. Wow, all this probably would have been useful information in the actual fic...
I probably won't be journeying any further into the realm of sonnets, but it is good to know. I had the darndest time trying to get lines that made sense, had the right number of syllables, and fit the rhyme scheme only to have the stressed syllables only work sometimes. Do you think I should try and rework the sonnet or maybe I should remove the mention of Iambic and pretend like I don't know any better?
564234
I do like Rainbow Pie. A lot. And they were my first ship, so I have a lot of feelings for them. But dang it all if I can't think of a single thing for the two of them. (Plus, I'm kind of getting the feeling that my Rainbow Dash characterizations need a bit of work.
SIGH. No, seriously, I feel you on that. I adore RariJack, but I have the hardest time writing it for some reason. 'Tis frustrating.
I was wondering about the plausibility of her writing the sonnet, especially due to the language used, but in the end I got a lovely little image of a Pinkie on which Twilight has rubbed off enough to allow her to plan and work and rework something that she considered important. I also decided that this particular Twilight was one who enjoyed the written word and would express to Pinkie on their little outings how much she loved sonnets, thus giving the pink one the idea and the drive to make it as good as possible. She probably fielded the earliest attempts to Rarity. Wow, all this probably would have been useful information in the actual fic...
Yeah. And y'know, Pinkie CAN plan and work hard on something when it's something she cares about--witness all of her scheming and efforts in "A Friend in Deed." And I absolutely believe this is something Pinkie would consider worthy of her time and efforts. I think the fic works very well as it is, with everything you mentioned as implied backstory, by the way. (Though I really do love the scene I'm envisioning with Pinkie and Rarity--though really, in general I love the idea of Rarity meddling in the others' love lives, out of a combination of genuine desire to help and genuine desire to live vicariously through her friends.)
I probably won't be journeying any further into the realm of sonnets, but it is good to know. I had the darndest time trying to get lines that made sense, had the right number of syllables, and fit the rhyme scheme only to have the stressed syllables only work sometimes. Do you think I should try and rework the sonnet or maybe I should remove the mention of Iambic and pretend like I don't know any better?
I say leave the sonnet as is. I think it's a perfectly fine and lovely sonnet. Really, I just start babbling because this is literally the FIRST time since I graduated college (nearly ten years ago--eep!) that my knowledge of Renaissance sonnets has been at all applicable to anything, ever. Apologies if I got you all freaked out or anythin'.
I could've sworn that I didn't have diabetes when I started reading this.
...
...
...
...HNNNNNGGGGG!!
Words fail me
Even reaction images fail me
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Keep it up
You're far too good at this to stop now
That was some powerful stuff.
why do i always read these at night....
all these feels before bed... i love it so much...
us5.memecdn.com/hipster-feels_c_282333.jpg
I may have been about to like this story, buy it's chapter four that is making me favourite it. So much.
Holy cow, that was amazing. The emotion really came through 10 points for you sir
I'm pretty sure this gave me cavities cause of the sweetness.