Chapter 1
Ponyvillie wasn't the biggest town in Equestria, but it sure wasn't the smallest. It was just right, big enough to have the hustle and bustle of a legitimate town, but small enough so that everypony knew each other. Though, its small stature doesn't mean that the quaint little town is...stable would make it seem that the town is unsafe, drab would be a better word to describe what Ponyvillie is not, but the word 'drab' seems so...drab.
Let's just say that Ponyvillie has its fair share of excitement.
Falling into the category of said excitement would be as follows: An immortal tyrannical batman wannabe released from her 1000 year time-out for being a bad little filly, voracious, yet adorable flying parasites (aptly named Parasprites) that consume inorganic matter, showboating mares who claim that they can slay the very constellations themselves, said constellation (but a tad on the young side), a certain purple unicorn who took her lessons on friendship a bit too seriously, a stallion who is, as three very well known fillies put it, 'strangely obsessed with tubs of jelly', and many, many more... 'oddities'.
But, none of these things could have prepared them for the being that would grace their 'quaint' little town.
It all started with a field trip, and a little brown colt...
Button Mash couldn't wait for school today, his love of video games would have to fall to the wayside today (though not by much, he always carried his portable, and a copy of 'Megamare BattleRunes 6: Magic Beast Gregar.') because he and his fellow classmates would be graced with the opportunity of a lifetime.
A field trip to the Crystal Empire.
"BYE MOM, I'm going to school now!" He said in his nasally excited voice. But before he could move his tiny little hooves with the speed that could rival a certain rainbow pegasus, his mothers stern voice called out.
"Button, did you remember to comb your mane?"
Button always forgot to comb his mane, always. He didn't know why, he always remembered to put on his hat, but never comb what was underneath it.
"Moooooooom!" Button whined.
"No arguments, do you want me to comb it myself?" She questions.
Button groaned and trudged to the bathroom. He got a comb and started to brush the tangles out of his mane. After a few grunts, he got his two tone orange mane in order. He reached for his saddlebags and, once again, tried to 'go fast, go really fast', but again his mother stopped him.
"Aren't we forgetting something?" the beige mare said, smiling down at her son.
Button lifted his head up and kissed his mother on the cheek, "love you mommy" he said with a smile.
She returned the favor on his cheek "love you too Button" she giggled.
Button smiled at started running out the door. The mare watched her son run off with a sad little smile.
"Always in a hurry...just like his father..." the mare pushed those sad thoughts out of her head and went towards the kitchen.
"Yeah gotta go fast!" Buttons yelled as he poured everything he had into 'going fast'. His class was going to meet up at the train station, though he has been a little cautious of trains ever since his toy train suddenly burst into flames for no apparent reason (blame Discord).
"Gotta go REAL fast!"
The train station was coming into view, and he could already see his classmates grouped together. . .
Just to slam into a familiar purple dragon.
"OWW!" They both seem to say the same time. They both fell backwards and started rubbing thier heads.
"What in Celestia's name hit me..." Spike grumbled out in pain. He opened his eyes to see Button groaning, and also rubbing his noggin.
"Button Mash, what the hay are you running for?" Spike said with a bit of anger. Dragons are tough when it comes to physical hardiness, but it still hurt like an applebucker to get slammed into by the little brown colt.
"Sorry Spike" Button said, with a slightly pained tone "I excited because were going on a field trip today to the Crystal Empire. I guess I was a little too excited..."
"It's alright" Spike said while he stood up and brushed himself off, "this is probably the most exciting thing to happen to me this week..." Spike lamented.
"What's wrong?" Button asked, slightly worried over his friend. Most of the young colts were as thick as thieves. The EXTREME overabundance of mares meant that they had to be, colts had to stick together. A lone colt would be eaten alive by the fillies in school, most of them are nice...
Especially Sweetie Belle in Buttons opinion.
But still, there weren't many colts. Two for every eight fillies, and even that might be an overestimation.
"Twilight...she messed up...bad. That's all I know."
"...How bad?" Button asked. Deep down he didn't want to know the answer, but his youthful curiosity got the better of him.
"Remember when she went crazy and put a 'want it, need it' spell on her doll?"
Button nods, shivering as he remembered the utter chaos that happened that day, he almost got trampled.
The little doll SHOT LASERS at ponies.
"Multiply that by 9000..." Spike said.
""WHAT 9000!? That can't be right!" Button exclaimed in shock. Spike only nodded.
"Yeah, that bad...I'm getting some groceries right now, I don't think shes eaten in a week."
"Wow...I really wish I could help Spike, but I but to go."
"See ya...It's been good talking to you Button"
"No prob!"
Button runs off to the train station to join up with his friends.
Spike watches his friend run towards the train station. A sliver of envy passes through him as he does. He was about the same age as Button, but he didn't have to deal half of the things he had to.
What Spike didn't tell Button was who he was getting groceries for. Twilight was in such bad shape that Rarity needed to let him stay at her house until Twilight got her act together.
A bittersweet situation, if there ever was one.
Papers, books, and trashed littered the house of the once meticulously organized mare. Twilight's mane was disheveled, dirty, unkempt, and a horror to look at. Rarity would have an heart attack if she saw Twilights less-then-tidy appearance.
She relentlessly searched through every book that she could get her magic on. And when she didn't find any relevant information, she threw the book to the side...violently.
What was she looking for, you ask? It would be better if we start from the beginning.
About three weeks ago, princess Celestia entrusted Twilight with one of the BIGGEST secrets in Equestrian history...
The existence of aliens.
Now, Twilight wasn't that surprised. Heck, she became an alien herself in order to stop Sunset Shimmer from using the Element of Magic for her own nefarious purposes. But what she gasped at was the fact that they were these beings that were able to slice planets in half, go into the depths of space, and many, many more feats that left her scared, in awe, and curious...
So very, very curious.
The names of these being were 'Humans' and, Celestia entrusted her with yet another doozy.
A spell to watch these amazing creatures.
As it turns out. Most Equestrian advances in technology, AND in magic have been thanks to watching these 'humans'.
What Celestia gave Twilight was a simple viewing spell (simple being a relative term) but soon viewing wasn't enough for Twilight.
Her, along with Spike, and her friends saw many wonders when viewing the different types of humans. . .
And, many atrocities.
They all learned the hard way that humans were omnivores. But the most surprising occurrence that happened that day is that Fluttershy took it the BEST.
Turns out she deals with carnivores all the time. Regardless, She still got a little spooked (come on, it's Fluttershy).
One human wearing a red spandex suit caught Rainbow Dash's attention. He could run so fast that everypony thought that she had a crush on the alien (though, Twilight couldn't blame her. She personally found humans attractive. . .due to her experience in the 'other' Equestria).
And one chef that used ONLY his legs in a fight caught Raritys.
Though...seeing them wasn't enough for her. She wanted to mingle, she wanted to actually talk to one of these amazing creatures...
And that's when it went all wrong.
As she combs through the books, she knows that it is a completely futile effort. Partly for the fact that she didn't know what to look for...
Now, you might be wondering why she would go off the deep end so much just to make a portal to another reality. But the fact is, she isn't going off the deep end for that.
She succeeded in creating a portal...but maintaining it was a different story.
A gurgled cough was heard from Twilights room. What was in that bed was a bandaged, bloody bipedal creature. . .
He was barely alive.
Twilight knew that the basic healing magic (and basic as in, first aid) would NOT be enough to help. Not even the magically infused gauze would be of help for long.
She looked at the dying human in her bed, tears once again spilling from her eyes.
"Please...i'm sorry...stay with me." She whispered as she ran a hoof through the humans mane. He opened his eyes, and Twilight feared that he would go into a further state of shock. . .
"Oh sweet Celestia..." She uttered in horror.
The humans eyes were the milkiest white she had ever seen. The entire time the human was in her 'care' his eyes were closed. But now...
She knew he was blind. She even ran a magical scan just to see if the white color was just a natural occurrence. . .
It wasn't.
Now, Twilight's entire adult, and most of her child, life had revolved around her ability to read. Books were a passion to her, and without eyesight...
Still, there were other ways to absorb knowledge. But without the ability to physically read, it would be a death sentence for Twilight...
And the guilt of knowing that her actions might have caused pain, not just a pain that could be fixed with a bed and some medicine...
But pain that lasts FOREVER, tantamount to death, sent her down. She barreled towards the bathroom, and vomited into her toilet.
She knew that she couldn't do this alone. She knew this three days ago, but this sudden revelation cemented her utter incompetence in this situation.
She needed help, and now.
The smell of the Bengali Butternut Squash was wafting through the kitchen. Buttons mom was reading 'Romea and Julio' the classic tale enraptured her. Brought her out to a trh-
*Knock* *Knock* *Knock*
She was suddenly taking away from her world of romance when the door sounded.
'Who could it be?' she thought as she walked towards the door. When she opened it...she was almost knocked back in her surprise. She bowed.
"G-good evening Princess Twilight!" she said out of respect. When she came back up, she noticed Twilights less than regal appearance. She was about to ask her what happened to her, until she spoke up.
"Please...I need your help."
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A few mistakes in this, but overall not that bad.
Just no need to put spaces between every elipsle "..." not ". . ."
And the over 9000 refrance, ughhh.
...... Did she summon Daredevil?
3368224 My college English teacher told me that you have to put spaces between them. So that's why I do that.
3368250 No, she did not.
Next chapter, please.
Updated soon
look intresting.
i'll fave it for now and rate it when the next chapter is out.
Sanji,
da hell you doin'?
Doctor Mid-nite maybe if not Daredevil?
FUCK YEAH ONE PIECE REFERANCE
3369852 Agreed, One of the best anime's out their! :D
But this also proves ponies are nosy as hell in should keep their noses out of the affair of other worlds even if its to observe and learn.
3370250
oh yes definatly, we don't pry into their world and neither should they, it's an invasion of privacy
3368307
You don't. That looks horrible. It's "..." trust me.
There are some minor grammar issues and missing apostrophes which makes this annoying to read. You should try to get an editor. Either that, or edit it yourself.
3370262 agreed, but that's also dependent on whether the multiverse theory holds truth but atleast we don't put someone on deaths door just because we got curious whilst looking
3370268
yes i suppose it is, and even if the multiverce theory holds true we aren't intentionally prying into the lives of others and very rarely do we see into their private lives, just the entertaining parts many from their own world would know but we get to see ''behind the sences'' so to speak
3370286 Exactly, but you would assume they would atleast be careful so that innocent bystanders wont be injured if they messed up.
And the idea that they never had to work to make any of their creation like humanity did but decided to watch and rip us off to make their lives better is more than a bit anger inducing
3370308
yes, the carelessness of the so called intelegent knows no bounds, that or they simply don't care, either way they ought not meddal with things they don't fully understand.
and I agree, the very notion of anything copying our ideas we had to figue out through trial and error, the things we had to made sacrifices for be it lives or just resources is enfuryating, the thought of such arrogance is almost enough to make me grit my teeth with rage before i calm down.
3370334 I can agree to both these statements their dead on and both reasonable. While we struggled and lost they seized our triumphs as their own and just moved on like it was nothing.
3370388
and didn't even share the credit
3370390 agreed.
3370392 The ponies only get to see a specific part of our world... can you guess what part of that world is?
3370418 I'm gonna go off the sanji reference and say The Grand Line :)
3370424 Think broader.
3370432 May be thinking to broad on this statement my guess is the spell is very selective on which human culture so maybe just the industry of animation or a random human world depending on the alignment of the stars are something similar
3370449 They can only see the cartoon world. So, you got it right. But... might want to tone down the double speak.
3370459 i can agree on that
3370432
the whole one piece world
3370463 Yes... and?
3370468
the anime multiverse
3370474 Yes... and?
3370475
its been over twenty minutes since i read this i only remember key points and referances i care for and the only one i did care for was the one piece one
3370480 The cartoon multiverse. Anything and everything cartoon related.
3370486
i see. I hate these main six
3370488 Why? I'm curious.
3370488 Oh... that's why. Read through the comments.
3370495
prying into buiseness that isn't their own, stealing the inventions of others and attemping to do something without proper knolidge (can't spell that word) of how to do something that could be potentionally extreamly dangerous without thinking of any consecuences or negative reprocutions, frankly it's stupid (really nailed twilights character there) and i doubt she even has a serious punisment
3370518 They don't say 'curiosity killed the cat' for nothing. But yeah,..
3370528
true but theres a fine line between curiosity and stupidity, and twilight is so far past it see can't even see it anymore, not to mention she always has her head up her arse thinking shes always so smart
3370540 So what your saying is what Twilight did was 9000 times worse than 'Lesson Zero'?
3370556
nice referance, and yes because of her foolish meddaling shes almost killed a man and possably taken his sight (unless he was already blind and injured, i wouldn't be surprized if he was already blind but i doubt he was already injured) and i doubt she'll get more than a slap on the wrist and a stern talking to even if she did take his sight, it's one of the things i hate about twilight she never thinks of the cons if she has even the slightest chance to learn or please celestia, shes like a love sick puppy begging to be petted, just a lap dog to celestia
and that made me facepalm
So, did Twilight summon a blind kid, or did the spell make the kid blind?
I am going to Watch this...
Dem references
Dragonball, DC, and One Piece, all in the first chapter? I approve.
I humbly beg for an update.
You're seriously only getting the favorite so I can get updates.
Now, criticism. You're not doing a very good job with getting me to want to keep reading. Errors run rampant, you can't keep it in a single tense... you need to improve not only your storytelling, but your writing as well. Amazing stories may not be much affected by small mistakes here and there, but even the most epic of stories I just outright refused to read if they weren't neatly authored.
You've started off and caught my interest, and I honestly want to see where this goes—if you can fix all the errors. I suggest reading it aloud, or having someone read it to you. (You could even run it through a text-to-speech and laugh as it stumbles over everything) This will help you with weird wordings and it should help you notice when what you wrote didn't quite match up with what you wanted in your head. For example,
should be comb instead of come otherwise you might want to mark this as Mature.
I recommend giving WRITE a poke and see if you can get any help. I'd also recommend writing the first few chapters before submitting the first one, so if something doesn't exactly work out immediately, you have time to go back and fix it before it's actually posted.
Finally, I'd just like to say that (while this has pretty much literally gone nowhere so far) I'm so far expecting more of you soon.
3373841 Quick! What's a good name for Button's mom?
Beige?
Other than that, I'm stumped.
3373897
Maybe the internet has ruined me, but a random thought crossed my mind and now I can't get the image out of my head.
Anyway, some ideas lead me towards Love Tap.
keep going!
3374107 Okay