Burning Feathery Love
written by Simbafurfire
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Fancy beginning, but would like to know more about the protagonist, he feel empty, and his character is still too undefined to understand his motivation for accepting this job
Or why he seems to...tempered
Hmmm... Next chapter please
3327582 Thanks for letting me know. I added a few more paragraphs and such to help with his reasoning. I'll be adding too each of the ponies in this chapter next chapter. Personality and traits included.
ohh shit that cant be good
liked and faved
looking forward to more
Why in the hell am I not going with Derpy??
I thought the Griffin was a girl.
YOU FUCKING ASS-HOLE AUTHORS AND YOUR CLIFFHANGERS!
3330090 Thanks for letting me know your thoughts. I added the word "Male" into the short description, might help. I'm working on Chapter 2 right now!
3331834 Thanks, so is the wonder bolt that is hitting on him gay?
This, this interests me. You have my fav and my upvote... Also my hat of approval.
Intriguing...
You should really watch the tenses, you're going back and forth between past and present all the time, it's annoying.
Other than that, it's weird to have actual characterization with a 2nd-person story... It feels like you're trying to implant memories in my brain or something.
3336291 Thanks for telling me, i'll have a look and change what i can. Thanks for the comment, i'm trying even harder in chapter 2!
update please