Equestria is a Silly Place

by Bootsy Slickmane

Scootaloo Finds a Genie

Swirling blue smoke spewed out of the old boot and Scootaloo leapt back in surprise. From the cloud, a pony-shaped shadow formed. A unicorn took shape as the smoke condensed. He was tall, rivaling Celestia in size, and his hind legs were but streams of smoke that lead back into the boot. The blue unicorn crossed his forelegs as he regarded the little orange pegasus before him.

"Are you a genie?" Scootaloo asked, eyes wide.

"Can't get anything past you, filly. Got wishes? I'll give ya three."

Scootaloo's tiny mind was racing. What should she wish for? Actually, the answer was obvious. "I wish that I—no, that all four of the Cutie Mark Crusaders had our cutie marks!" She paused for a moment as the genie rubbed his hooves together and nodded. "Wait, can you do that? Apple Bloom said that Twilight said that magic can't make cutie marks appear."

The blue unicorn scoffed. "Filly, please. I'm a genie, I can do anything." To prove it, he tapped his hooves together as two bright beams of light shot from his horn and struck Scootaloo on either flank. When Scootaloo turned to look, she saw it. She really did have a cutie mark. "Two left. Next wish?"

Scootaloo brought her attention back to the genie. "Um... lemme think." The genie sighed and waited as the filly thought about what else she wanted. Again, the answer was obvious. "I wanna be like Rainbow Dash! I wish for that!" The genie tapped his hooves together and engulfed her in light again. She wasn't sure what he'd done, though. She didn't feel particularly cool, awesome, or even radical. She still had the same colors and everything.

She was about to ask just what had changed when she heard her friends calling to her. "Hang on, I'll be right back." Scootaloo galloped away from the genie as he slid back into the hoofwear.

"Scootaloo! You'll never believe it! We got our cutie marks!"

"Me too!" Scootaloo turned to show off her newly-acquired mark. It was a white skull with walleyes and its tongue sticking out.

"Wow! What's it mean?"

Scootaloo hadn't thought about it (she hadn't really had time), but she immediately knew just what it meant as soon as she wondered. "It's because I laugh in the face of danger! What about you girls?"

Apple Bloom shifted to show the others the hammer emblazoned on her toned flank. "It must be because I'm so good at fixin' things that get broken." She suddenly recalled the incident with Fluttershy's table, but brushed that off as the others not knowing what they were doing.

Sweetie Belle had a silver bell with an eighth note on it. "It must be because I like singing so much... at least when I'm alone. Isn't it great?" Sweetie Belle's voice cracked with excitement, and Scootaloo suddenly realized how adorable it was. And how could she have not noticed how pretty Sweetie's mane was?

Something stirred in Scootaloo. Something she'd only felt in passing a few times before. She had always liked her friends, but suddenly she liked them a lot more... and for different reasons. It came to her slowly as the other two chattered away about their new marks and she wondered what it might be like to kiss them. Did getting a cutie mark make other ponies want to kiss you? That didn't seem right. Then why was....

"I'm gay?!" Scootaloo exclaimed. A dreadfully-awkward silence fell on the trio as Scootaloo covered her mouth with her hooves. She'd never liked fillies before. What changed? She gasped as the realization struck her. "Oh, that pervy blue weirdo!" Scootaloo turned and galloped away from her confused friends. "I'll be right back!"

She reached the boot quickly, and the genie poofed back out. "Last wish?"

She pointed a hoof at him accusingly. "You! I wished to be more like Rainbow Dash!"

"Yeah, you did."

"But you made me like fillies! That's not what I wished for!"

"Yeah, it is."

"No it...." And then it dawned on her. "... Rainbow Dash is gay?"

"She's bi, actually. What, you didn't know that? Honestly, filly, are you dense? I spend most of my time in an old boot and I could see it. In fact, from what I've seen around here, most ponies would seem to be." He uncrossed his forelegs and spread them. "Why are you so upset anyway? Quite the little homophobe, aren't you?"

"No, there's nothing wrong with it, I just... it... uh..." When she thought about it, she actually didn't have a problem with liking fillies. Would she have objected to being bi before? She didn't know. She'd never given dating much thought, being both fairly young and usually too busy crusading. Of course, she wouldn't have to go crusading anymore. "It's different, that's all... and not what I was expecting."

"Would you like your final wish to undo what I just did?"

"I, uh.... no, I don't mind, actually. It just caught me off guard, I guess."

"So, last wish?"

Scootaloo thought for a moment, but the answer came to her easily once again. It was something she hadn't considered before, but it made a lot of sense now. She told the genie what she wanted, and he raised an eyebrow.

"That's quite an order," he commented. "You sure?" She nodded, and with a tap of his hooves she was covered in his magical light.

* * * *

Rainbow Dash looked up from the half-finished weather report on her desk when somepony rang her doorbell. She put down her quill and got up. What she saw when she opened the door made her jaw drop. "Sc-Scootaloo?"

It was Scootaloo alright, and she was flying. That was the least striking thing about her as she landed in front of Rainbow Dash. She was as tall as Rainbow and looked to be just as old. And that cutie mark - so cool! That wasn't all Rainbow noticed about her, though. This new and older Scootaloo was hot. Smokin' hot.

Scootaloo, now a full-grown mare, leaned against the doorway and batted her eyelashes at Dash. "Hey, Rainbow. Ya busy?"

Comments

[Meridian Prime]

Well, there are worse ways she could have used her wishes I suppose. She didn't spend the rest of her life miserable, she got her cutie mark, she got it one with her idol....
Wait, remind me what was bad about this again?

[Bootsy Slickmane]

4151472
Well, I guess it might be harder to connect with her friends when she's so much older than them. She's got Dash, though, so I'm sure that softens the blow. Of course, the other two CMC never got their wishes....

[Meridian Prime]

4152243
True, true...
Okay, there are issues with her wishes, but compared to the usual "you have ruined your life/completely wasted your wishes" it turned out pretty good.