• Published 17th Sep 2013
  • 2,556 Views, 32 Comments

My Little Freaks: Equestria against Outcasts - Okhlahoma Beat-Down

Twilight Sparkle, in her new Princesshood, decides to summon several different creatures from another universe to learn of their habits. Unfortunately, after summoning a batch from the wrong universe, she is forced to care for several violent freaks.

  • ...

Magic, Mishaps, and MeeM

Twilight moved quietly through the library. Celestia said she'd be in the Starswirl wing, and just ahead, Twilight saw Celestia solemnly looking through a book. She wasn't smiling like normal, instead looking rather serious. Worried, the young purple alicorn approached, and Celestia simply flicked her eyes up. "Twilight," she began with a sigh, "The spell that I'm about to teach you is one of the most important spells in Equestrian history. It raised my empire, and helped topple Discord's. But used incorrectly, the creatures and things it may unleash can, and with the least effort possible, kill everything you every loved. Are we clear on that before we begin?" Twilight blinked. That dangerous, huh?

After a moment, Twilight looked her mentor in the eyes and nodded firmly. Celestia simply exhaled again and levitated the book to her waiting student. "Page 1,337. You'll find it. Use it carefully, Twilight. And make sure you're ready for the consequences." Then, without a further word, Celestia teleported out of the room in a golden flash, leaving Twilight to study alone in the library. It was all utterly silent, the distant clanking of armoured boots meant guards patrolled nearby. That meant she had some protection in case it all went wrong.

After 2 hours, she let out deep breaths. Concentrating, Twilight closed her eyes, and lit her horn. Instead of the usual purple glow, a red fire tore up to a few feet above her head, lighting the dark library with a crimson hue. She couldn't stop now; she was going to do it. Like the book said, she felt her mind go freely into a universe, and aim for one system. Moving herself there, she saw a group of planets. Unfortunately, due to a lack of better judgement, she picked the left planet, and soared around that. The places she saw were incredible! Red deserts, vast oceans, islands, advanced cities: It was like a sci-fi book. But she had a serious job: pick some residents for testing.

So, she randomly selected a spot. The place she picked first was a small, nearly empty warehouse. Outside, there seemed to be a small chariot with a creature sat inside. She couldn't hold the spell for long. He'd do. She 'selected' the creature in a blue glow. Next, she looked inside the building. There was a lot of blood everywhere. The two in the middle of the room were in the open. They'd be fine. She picked them as well. She was running out of time. Sod it, pick the whole lot of this place.

Next, she moved to a different place. There were a few palm trees in pot like structures and tables along one side. In the middle of the room, there was a cluster of the creatures, all crowded around one other creature. Fine, them as well. Twilight picked them.

Next, she visited a place with a bridge, wooden walls, and a steel door. Inside, there was another creature in the rafters. He'd be good. She picked him. Time was running out!

Then, Twilight visited a darker mansion. There was a couple of different creatures walking around...in fact, those were ponies! They must have been lost, Twilight grabbed them too!

Next, there was a quick trip to a small barn. Inside, 3 creatures sat; a tall one with a yellow band, a stouter one with a white band, and a fat one with a pot on his head. Buck it, EVERYTHING IN THE BARN. HER HEAD WAS HURTING AND SHE WANTED TO DUMP A BUCK-LOAD OF PAPERWORK ON THE DESKS OF LOADS OF COLLEGE WORKERS.

A few more places were visited, and the final location was rather quiet. Stood in the middle of a desert, with nothing else there, was a single creature, blankly staring ahead at absolutely nothing. He was on his own, nobody'd miss him. Twilight took him, and finally, lost too much power. She released the spell, and collapsed to the ground. The last thing she remembered before darkness was a small portal opening in the library and something coming out.

Spy'd head hurt. One minute, he'd been sat in Christian's van getting another suit, and then...he was where? He glanced around as he dusted himself off. There was a lot of books, it was dark, and there was nobody around. Spy simply sighed, and began to move forward. Just then, he brushed something squishy with his foot. Praying that it wasn't one of Christian's victims, he looked down.

To Spy's surprise, there was a small purple...thingy. It had four legs, a horn, and a small pair of wings. On it's bum, it had a small marking of a star. To be honest with himself, it was adorable. Kneeling down next to it, he discovered it was breathing heavily. But it was alive! Spy, smiling, picked the small animal up. It was surprisingly light for its size, which almost reached Spy's shoulder. However, this didn't deter him, and he ran straight to what seemed like a door. He grasped the handle, swung it open, and was nearly blinded by the light. When his eyes adjusted, he looked around for something that might help this little animal. But looking around, he saw more of these animals running towards him with spears raised and horns glowing. Carefully, but quickly, he placed the animal on the floor, and 'looked at his watch'.

He rapidly turned invisible, and moved backwards slightly. That was usually tactic enough to make them think he'd charged down the corridor and would be hiding on top of a box or something. So, his position secure, he kept his arm supported with his right hand and watched them as he sat down next to a plant pot. The small animals were crowding round their purple friend, talking about important matters like getting her to a hospital. They did, however, mention that the place was called Canterlot. That helped Spy a lot.

Finally, after tiring of observing, he quietly slipped back into the library. Then, he rapidly slammed the door so they thought it was wind, and then moved back to where he was as he uncloaked. As his eyes adjusted, he noticed that there was not just that one. About 7 more of them lay, but on top of a pile of people he did and didn't recognise. He could recognise Christian and GentleSpy, both near the bottom of the pile, 'Intelligent' Heavy and his pot, Demopan, a Vagineer, thankfully of the BLU variety, which tend to be calmer, and the freak of them all, Painis Cupcake. That was just a few in the pile. He didn't recognise any more; they must have just been in the area when everybody teleported. The pile was about chest height, but that meant that he might not have seen someone who'd mutilate him at a glance.

Just then, one of the animals on top stirred. It was another purple one, but it was of a darker shade than the one he'd previously tried helping. This one would be able to see him helping it, and simply helping a talking animal might earn him a friend? Quickly, he jogged over to it, placed hands under its forelegs, and picked it up. Then, placing it on a small chair, he watched the small creature slowly waking.

Brutalight Sparcake had a huge migraine.

She was barely concious, in a place she didn't recognise, and a RED Spy was stood in front of her. He had something to do with it! She'd show him who not to mess with, she'd bucking ki-


He wasn't taunting her. He wasn't...laughing at her? He was just...there. She shifted slowly, still glaring at him. "Who are you?" She growled. Her question caught him off-guard; he jumped slightly, and looked away, rubbing a hand up and down his arm. "Who. Are. You?" she repeated. Still no answer. Brutalight groaned loudly. "I'm stuck here with a pile of freaks, in a place I don't remember, and I'm stuck with a Spy who can't talk. GREAT." She paused, and looked to Spy. "Can you talk?" she asked.

Spy simply looked back, and shook his head.

Yes, he could talk.

But not to her.

If he said anything wrong, she wouldn't like him. Spy at least wanted ONE new friend before Christian woke up and started scaring and killing everyone. So, his safest option was to avoid eye contact. If they were like that Engineer, then...no. He should speak to her. Then she'd trust him. Wait. No. No speaking. If he spoke, she wouldn't trust him.

Gah, why were decisions suddenly so difficult?

Staregineer opened his eyes further as he woke up. He never closed his eyes. EVER. If he closed his eyes, he'd miss something interesting. Like somebody's soul that would end up in Staregineer anyway. All around there was darkness, and he felt himself near the bottom of a pile of people. And from the small tails he could see as well, there were a few of those pony freaks. But clearly, he was not in his happy little patch of desert any more.

Reaching up to the ceiling were stone shelves, lined with books and tomes of all kinds; he was even sure he saw 'magic' somewhere. In the middle of some sections there were torch sconces, illuminating small areas a nice orange hue. But it wasn't important: what WAS important was staring at all these new things and learning about them. Staregineer pulled himself from under the pile of freaks, dusted himself off (which was very interesting), and stood in front of a bookshelf.

Then, as he was destined to do, he stared.

Seeman awoke begrudgingly. He was in a dark room, and he was covered in a pile of other TF2 freaks, and evidently some normal mercenaries. Of course, Seeman, being a man of See, found this to be utterly hilarious and burst out laughing at the top of his lungs as he waved both arms around. A shifting next to him was felt, and his good friend Seeldier was lying just beside him, the same expression of idleness on his face. Seeman kept his strange facial expression, and looked to his BLU Soldier friend. Then, the RED Demoman pointed to the bookshelf.

"See?" he asked.

"See!" replied Seeldier. Both of them promptly teleported in the middle of the room and began flailing their limbs around in a manner that involved them floating above the ground with both feet in the air at the same time as a heavy metal tune played from an unknown source. The sound of such 'See' began to rouse other freaks. Groaning, the (sort of) mercenaries began to move out from the pile, and the 6 small ponies began to organise the humans with utmost ease. Across the library, Spy's attention turned from the purple mare in front of him to the group of monsters that was now getting itself together. However, to his joy, he saw something; normal people! There was a small number of regular mercenaries, staying away from the freaks and standing in the corner. Spy smiled. He might have a chance of earning their friendship!

Brutalight looked over as well. The first thing she saw was the fact that the other Elements of Insanity were giving orders to the Freaks to get them organised. However, the rather evident fact was that none were listening; instead, the humans were simply meandering about and looking at things, talking quietly, or doing spastic dances in the middle of the room to a heavy metal tune. She got up and facehoofed. "Am I gonna have to kill somepony?" she snarled as she looked at Spy. He was now one of her helpers; he didn't answer back, argue, or interrupt, and looked the type to carry out requests without question. That was good. He simply shrugged, and gestured for her to do it how she'd do it. Brutalight smiled up at the man. "Thank you for your idea. I think this is the start of a beautiful relationship."

Spy was ecstatic.

She liked him!

Outside the door, Princess Twilight was in the process of being moved, when a guard's ears picked up on something. "Hey!" he called. Everypony stopped and looked to him. "Listen; there's music coming from inside this door. I think that creature went back inside here!" All guards in the area put a serious look on, raised their spears, and gathered at the doorway. At least ten of Equestria's finest were ready to barge into a room to take down one creature.

Simple, right?

Totally. The lead guard raised a hoof, and gave the order to bust the door down. A large earth-pony stepped forward, turned, and raised his back legs. He reeled back, kicked the door, and...

"HOHOOOOOO!" Seeman laughed, pointing at the intruders. Every freak, pony or 'human', quickly looked to the small animals that had smashed the door down. The intruders looked on the brink of shitting themselves at the terrifying creatures that were filling the library. "See?" asked the Scotsman, stupid face active and looking between everybody else. Seeldier agreed completely.

"See!" he said loudly as his head inflated to twice its usual size. Again, both teleported, but this time just in front of the small animal in the doorway so they could do their spastic dancing that required heavy metal as background music. The pony stared in horror, and quickly backed away. The other ponies outside had no idea why Commander Steel Hide, strongest in the regiment, was fleeing from an enemy. He had bested dragons, minotaur warlords, manticores, and OH FAUST WHAT THE HELL IS THAT AND WHAT THE BUCK IS IT DOING WITH ITS LIMBS

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