The Four Horsemen of Equestria

by CaleMcManus21

Interrogations

I moaned in pain. When I groggily opened my eyes, I saw that I was sitting on a chair with my hands cuffed behind my back. Sitting in front of me was a royal guard. He was giving me a look of complete distrust. "Hi" I said weakly. The door opened and Princess Celestia entered the room.

"Your majesty" I said, lowering my head in a bowing manner.

"We have three of your friends in custody as we speak" she said.

"Friends?" I asked.

"Yes. Jack, Remy, and Chase" she answered.

"I don't know any of them" I replied.

"That's ok" she said. "I just want you to answer some questions."

"Go for it" I said with a smile.

"Why do you kill? You have a bad background, but you are good hearted. It doesn't make sense."

"I don't feel comfortable answering this question" I said. "Brings back a bad memory. But I can tell you this... Any rule your throw at me, I'll obey them. And to prove that to you, I have a feeling that one of my 'friends' is refusing to talk. I can get him to say something."

A Room Across From Cale

"So I'm here about to be interrogated by two royal ponies and their guards..." Jack said as he shuffled a deck of cards. His feet have been cuffed to the legs of the chair and his hands were cuffed in front of him. There was a long chain strapping his waist to the chair as well. "....And the first thing they ask is why I got the name Wild Card Jack?" He asked as he struggled lightly.

"That's right" Shining Armor said. Jack nodded and shuffled the deck again.

"I got the name Wild Card, because..." He struggled again. "If you can... Can you dig through my left pocket?" He asked. The mare, Princess Cadance used her magic and levitated a Wild Card from his pocket. Jack had an impressed look on his face. "Ok that's cool!" He said.

"Ahem, Wild Card?" The guard asked.

"Oh right, right, right, sorry about that. I was just mesmerized by the magic Princess Cadance used. See, I didn't get the name Wild Card because I keep it in my pocket. I'm called that, because I use it."

"Use it?" Princess Cadance asked.

"See, this card cannot be used in games that requires these cards" he said as he held up his playing cards. "The Wild Card can only be used in a game called UNO."

"And how do you play that?" Shining Armor asked.

'I'm going to be here for a long time' Jack thought to himself.

A Room Three Doors to the Left of Jack

"I just want to say that you are absolutely stunning" Chase said to Princess Twilight Sparkle. "The colors of the coat, the wings, and my goodness the color pattern of your mane and tail! Its just so...!" He let out a grunt.

"Shut it!" Jack's muffled voice said. "I'm trying to teach some ponies how to play UNO!"

"Do you want to play UNO? I mean, we can move to..."

"Is this how you talk to females?" Princess Twilight asked.

"Not all the time but..."

"You sound like you do" she said challengingly. "Your friends are supposed to be interrogated but now they are carrying conversations!" She yelled. The room became quiet,

"And that's how you play UNO. Now I'm going to teach you how to play Blackjack" Jack's voice said from the room he was at.

A Room Across From Chase

Remy was sleeping against his chair, snoring softly. Outside, two royal ponies stood guard. Princess Celestia approached with me by her side, but my hands were still cuffed behind my back. "Any progress?" She asked.

"Well, Princess Twilight is acting tough to the one named Chase, the one named Jack is teaching his interrogators how to play card games..." One of the royal guards began. Princess Celestia smiled.

"And this one claims he can get the stubborn one back on his feet" she said. The royal guards stepped aside. Princess Celestia used her magic to open the door and allowed me to step inside. "We'll be out here if you need us" she said. I nodded and approached the table. I used my foot to pull back the only vacant chair and sat down.

"Can I help you?" Remy asked.

"Yeah. By answering questions" I said as I scooted close to the table.

"I answer to no one" Remy said.

"Suit yourself" I said. I got up to leave.

"Wait..." Remy said. I turned to him and sat back down. "How do you do it?" He asked.

"What?"

"Kill. Kill the ones you hate in the world and then a second later, you feel pity? How does that work?"

"Well, at first I become blinded by how much I hate them, and then I slowly began to think outside the box."

"What do you mean?"

"The ones I killed... I slowly began to think things like: 'What will their family think? What if they were doing the crimes for a reason? What if they were just a pawn for the culprit's game?' Stuff like that. If you're a killer like me, I suggest you do the same. Before/after you kill, depending on how blinded by hate you have for your target, ask yourself one question: Is this person worth killing?" I stood up and walked towards the door. "Oh, and another thing" I said, but not facing him. "When you kill, don't go for the head. Let them bleed to death."

"Why?"

"It gives you time to get to know your victim before they die."

"Did it work for you?"

"Out my 300 victims, I was able to get to know 299."

"What about the 300th?"

"I don't want to talk about it." I leaned against the door and slid down to a sitting position. After a short but heavy sigh, I lowered my head

Jack and Chase were free from their rooms and just got to know each other while walking down the hall. Behind them were their interrogators. "How are you holding up?" Chase asked as he noticed a ticked off look on Jack's face.

"Try teaching a card game and from another room you hear 'The beauty of a mare that understands the human language. You must be flattered to have a human sweet talk you' he said, mocking Chase.

"Says the guy who teaches how to use a Wild Card in a regular card game."

"It's simple, you throw the Wild Card down, they give a 'what the hell look', while they're distracted, lunge for the prize money and hightail it out of there."

"Did it work for you?"

"All the time!"

"It might not work for everybody."

"They just got to know when to throw down the card."

Comments

[Noal]

that is absolutely the most hilarious chapter I've ever out of any mlp fanfic ever nice job.

[IkioStar]

Fuck no, this is a piece of crap. I wish people would keep their facts straight when writing a story. This one had some decent ideas, then someone shat over them with inconsistency. I'm out of here, I've had enough.

[Old Diggy]

Sitting in front of me was a royal guard. He was giving me a look of complete distrust. "Hi" I said weakly. The door opened and Princess Celestia entered the room.
"Your majesty" I said, lowering my head in a bowing manner.

He's not even the slightest bit freaked out that both are talking ponies? The others barely even think about the fact that their suddenly talking to talking ponies, I doubt that anyone would be accept that they're in another world with magical talking ponies that quickly.